Things I Think I’d Hate About Men If I Were A Woman (Which I’m Totally Not)

Beat the p*ssy up beat the p*ssy up. Like bam bam bam bam bam.

Beat the p*ssy up beat the p*ssy up. Like bam bam bam bam bam.

“Don’t bring no whips and chains to bed with me. I wasn’t a slave, but I heard about it. I watched Roots about seven or eight times: I’m liable to have a flashback and choke the hell out of somebody.” – Don “D.C.” Curry

I’ve never been a woman. I know this may be a surprise to some of you but I checked with my parents and everything. Nope, I was never of the boob. So since I was never a woman nearly all information that I have about the fairer sex comes second hand from sisters, mothers, aunties, etc. Having an inordinate amount of all the above has afforded me a sometimes more intimate than desired look, or at least insight, into how frustrating life can be for a woman. From the man standpoint, aside from the tiny sexism thing, being a woman looks like it rocks.

There’s free dinner. You can call somebody to kill bugs and nobody bats an eye. You never have to take trash out once you’re in a relationship. If you’re pretty, people like you more. It seems like 95 percent of television is catered to you and there’s an entire lineup of shows dedicated to women killing men and anybody who watches them totally understands.

See? All of that up there? Advantage women.

Even though being a woman clearly rocks, nothing that rocks does so without issue. And from where I’m sitting, it seems that the thing that probably makes being a woman rock less than it totes could – aside from that whole menstruation thing which is women’s fault – would be some of the things that men do. Before the men release the hounds and go all medieval on my arse, let me explain. Being a man allows us a certain amount of inconsiderateness. Ultimately, we pretty much do what we want and smoke crack in the bathroom on a lark. While every man isn’t a douche, many of us play them on television. Conversely, all women aren’t saints. These are all facts.

Well one of the things that I think many of us fail to properly do is truly attempt to place ourselves in the shoes of the other sex. I’m pretty sure folks call that empathy or something. I honestly don’t know. I suck at empathy. However, I’m going to put on my “if i were a woman” hat and based on the men I know and the life I’ve led ponder about some things that I’m pretty sure I’d hate if I were a woman.

Such as…

1. Male insecurity

I’m a guy and I hate male insecurity, but I almost can’t fathom what its like to deal with it head on as a woman. For instance, you meet a guy, you all hit it off well, then he starts questioning why you’d go out of hte house wearing certain clothing. Clothing, mind you, that he was okay with when he met you. Or a guy wondering if you’ve dated “men of name” before and judging you based on it. See, I hate it when folks take out their issues on me. So I can’t imagine how it must feel to be a woman and have a dude question you about something that clearly is his issue. Unless you leave the house looking like a ho on your way to Ocho Cinco’s house. Then again, I probably MET you at Ocho Cinco’s house looking like a ho, so thats more than likely on me. Yeech.

2. Obscene cat calls

I know there are “Stop Street Harassment” campaigns and I’m sure they’re working exactly like you think they are. But awareness is never a bad thing. To that end, I’ve seen guys make THE most obscene and ignorant comments to women walking by. I’m sure its not so bad for women a few times as long as no lines are crossed, but it seems like men, we like crossing lines. Again, not all of us…but those dudes who cross the lines step all over that line, do the “typewriter” hit a “tootsie roll” then backflip and spit on it. I’ve actually heard a man (not one I knew) yell to this woman that he wanted to put his d*ck in her lightskinned ear and that she knew she wanted that to.

(To be fair, I’ve been manhandled by a woman that I’m pretty sure didn’t know she was a lesbian yet. I’ve always been slim so in high school this chick, “Nancy” grabbed me up and hugged me like a toy doll and dragged me to her next destination. That made me feel like less of a man and I hated every minute of it. I thought she was going to stick me in her vagina and keep me there for a rainy day. That never happened but it felt possible. “Nancy” is gay now.)

3. Having to be “strong enough to let a man be a man”

I get it. I’m a man. I appreciate when my woman knows to let me be the man. But geesh that has to be annoying sometimes. Or maybe its not. I have no clue how women feel about that. But I can imagine sometimes feeling like “f*ck” I could totally build this IKEA boudoir in 10 minutes and this dude is over here struggling with the Allen wrench. By the way, DAMN YOU ALLEN WRENCHES OF THE WORLD.

4. Having my face licked in a club by anybody, Kappa or not

I’ve seen this happen with my own two eyes to somebody who used to (and presumably still does on occasion) frequent VSB. Some dude trapped her, then licked her face. In the club. Just because. If I never saw that, I’d think it was a myth like men refusing to ask for directions (something I have no problem doing). But that’s just nasty. On the contrary, I also witnessed a man suck on a friend of mine’s toes in the club and she was totally okay with it. Buddy also had baby oil on deck. The most important lesson here (as with anywhere): know your audience.

5. Double standards

Goes both ways, but I figured if I didn’t mention it, folks would ALL immediately go with double standards as something that sucks.

So let’s have fun people and play some role reversal. For the men, what do you think you’d hate most about men if you were a woman and women, what do you think you’d hate most about women if you were a man?

3…2…1…contact. Go.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. LADY SINGS THE BLUES LIKE A DAMN G aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

  • Malik

    Coitus. I’ve heard enough stories about yall ninjas to be thankful that I’m not in any capacity attracted to men like that. And the bad almost always outweighs the good.

    Having to deal with men and women that loved Tyler Perry.

    Competition from over women even though I’d probably be gorgeous if I was a woman.

    • Rewind

      Dead @ the last one.

      well..you were a model once.

      Hmmmm…if Malik still spoke like Malik but had boobs and long hair…what would the world be like?

      A more intelligent Tyra Banks?

      • http://vagabondaesthetics.tumblr.com Malik

        I’d hope I would like far closer to Amira Ahmed than Tyra Banks.

        • Rewind

          I had to Google her. Nice choice.

          • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

            Yep, Amira is cute. I’ve included her on my photo blog in the past.

    • SweetSass

      Why do you think you would be model material? I’m curious.

      • http://vagabondaesthetics.tumblr.com Malik

        because I already am now.

        • camilleblu

          this made me laugh….

          • http://vagabondaesthetics.tumblr.com Malik

            Just being cheekie and vain today.

  • Aaron Smarter

    I. Am. Howling.

    got damb, P.

    gotta pull over to read VSB, booooy, I tell ya.

    men crying gotta be top ten. You can’t never be prepared for THAT. Like, some big ol’ burly dude just breaks down. Snottin’ up and all that….ew.

    • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com Tristan

      Theres levels to crying, lfrom acceptance speech dramatic pause crying to blubbering hyperventilating cant….say….whats….wrong…crying

    • kenyadigit

      That Gladiator cry.

    • http://www.TheNewEve.com Bunni

      Yeahhhh….a grown man crying really freaks me out…idgaf about that “real men cry” mess….go cry in the bathroom, youre scaring the kids.

    • Rewind

      Depends on what he’s crying about. If somebody died, let that nucka cry like an irate 2 year old for all I care. But if this summabitch cries because someone ripped him a new a$$hole or some superficial reason, I say lets 1686 his ass, tie his feet with rocks and toss his ass in the river. If he drowns, he wasn’t that bad, and if he survives, he’s a witch.

    • SweetSass

      I am not bothered by men crying. I think that is something you just don’t like as a man.

      • Asiyah

        Yup, doesn’t bother me, especially if I’m the reason he’s crying ;)

    • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

      I have no problem with men crying, although big burly men crying usually makes me cry- and that I don’t like.

  • Kema

    I’d hate to have to pay for sh*t.

    • DG

      REALEST POST OF THE DAY!!!

      Hell, I’m a man…and I hate paying for sh*t…

    • http://vagabondaesthetics.tumblr.com Malik

      Knocked it out the park.

      • Sahel

        Kema keeping 100

    • msdebbs

      + 1 milli

      I can’t imagine having to spend $50+ bucks to impress some chick….No Bueno

    • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

      @Ms. Kema:
      And yet, Women (especially Black ones; there was a study conducted on this) still expect (read: Demand) that Brothas act “tradtional” in this regard – despite all the obvious bennies Black Women, as a group, have reaped over the past nearly half a century.

      Oh, the irony…and hypocrisy…

      O.

    • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com Tristan

      Thiseth.

    • Todd

      All the more reason to raise taxes on women. You have the extra bread. Redistribute the wealth! :)

      • Sahel

        Todd for Mayor

        • kid video

          O for Prez…

          • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

            @KV:
            I’m the Obsidian, and I approved this message…

            ;)

            O.

          • http://www.saysmeblog.wordpress.com Aly

            No.

            • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

              @Ms. Aly:
              No? Why, do you know my positions as it concerns Women? Let me lay them out for you:

              1. I’m Pro-Choice.
              2. I support the Ledbetter Act.
              3. I support VAWA.
              4. And I support the Family Leave Act.

              What’s not to like?

              :)

              O.

              • http://missrosen.wordpress.com esa

                the State of the Union address would go on for three days tho ..

                (smile)

                • http://www.saysmeblog.wordpress.com Aly

                  Chiiile!

                  • camilleblu

                    lol…y’all silly..

                    • Breezy

                      Esa: you en never lied! LMBO!

                  • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

                    @Ms. Esa, Ms. Aly:

                    It’s called Staying Power, ladies.

                    ;)

                    O.

                • http://www.OpinionatedMale.com Mr SoBo – OpinionatedMale.com

                  lol

            • Rewind

              Aly, you want to be my Chief of Staff?

              • http://www.saysmeblog.wordpress.com Aly

                YES! Oooh, I’d be JUST like Rahm Emanuel… mean and ruthless! Bwahahaha! (power corrupts)

                Rewind for President!

                • Rewind

                  lmao I was just thinking you’d look hot behind a desk in a powersuit, but if that’s your ambition, let’s take over the world!

                  • Demondog 06

                    aly in a pants suit?!….i can see it

    • h.h.h.

      wait, you think paying $20 for a club when 1/2 the attendants get in for free.99 ain’t a good look for you?

      That’s meeeean. and vicious

      • Kema

        *drinks free mixed drink* huh?

    • Rewind

      And here I was hoping we’d go on a date someday.

      Ugh.

      • Kema

        lol! Hey I’m going to be in NY in 2 weeks. You, Todd, Yoles and Camille gotta plan some type of meetup!

        • Todd

          Email me at iluminati14@gmail.com, and we can coordinate. I haven’t been with the full crew in a minute anyway.

          • Asiyah

            Can this not be on a Friday night? I work until 9:20.

            • Todd

              You’ll get the details, but I seriously doubt it will be on a Friday night.

          • http://twitter.com/inomallday Shamira

            HEYYY What about me? *pouts in corner*

            • Yoles

              Shamira… you MUST make it or you will be expunged from the NYC chapter of VSB…

              you.have.been.warned

              see you soon :D ((((Hugs))))

              • http://twitter.com/inomallday Shamira

                LOL. I love how you follow you a threat with sweet nothings. I will be there!

                • Kema

                  Of course you!!! And Esa and Malik! lol!

                  • http://missrosen.wordpress.com esa

                    xoxo

              • Triple T

                Can NY lurkers attend this meet up? :D

                • Todd

                  Sure! The more, the merrier!

        • Rewind

          You coming too? Damn, yall VSB people gonna have me & Yoles real busy.

          Todd, we got 3 people already coming into town between June 5-16th, save your money!

          • Rewind

            defineintellect@gmail.com

            Email me & Todd, we’ll hit up Yoles and work out the details.

            • camilleblu

              well ya’ll clue me in b/c i might be able to make it happen as well…

              • Rewind

                whaaaaaaaaa? You coming? Ooooooh I’m get you!

                • Sweet GA Brown

                  Just make sure you have the food on standby. And dont disappoint her. Lol

                  • camilleblu

                    lol sweet …trust..he already knows…

                  • http://twitter.com/inomallday Shamira

                    are we resurrecting the myth of the NYC VSB BBQ? Lol

          • http://twitter.com/inomallday Shamira

            y’all got my email. Let’s do this! *celebratory twerk*

            • Rewind

              No ditching us this time! If you do, I will raid your closet and my new VSB avi will have one of your bras playing a bonnet on the top of my head.

              And yes I’m crazy enough to do something that special.

              • http://twitter.com/inomallday Shamira

                LOL. Naw, I won’t flake this time. Especially with the weather finally getting nice. I’ll just try not to go out of town :-D

    • SweetSass

      But I would love to be paid more for the same work. Promoted despite my mediocrity. And for people to feel that they must laugh at my lame jokes.

      So while footing the bill sucks. It’s even steven.

      Plus, I can count on ONE HAND the times I’ve had dinner entirely paid for by a man. Dudes in the NE seaboard be going DUTCH like they are Amish!

      • Todd

        With regard to that first paragraph, we see eye-to-eye. Besides, at least an idiot woman would be a refreshing change of pace for most workplaces.

        Still…the dudes you roll with are THAT cheap? I never was one for doing the dinner date thing a lot, but I always made sure to come off that paper. If anything else, it generates more goodwill going forward as an honest sign of interest when you do that.

        • Kema

          Yea… I can count on one hand the times I paid for my meal when with a man that wasnt a coworker.

        • SweetSass

          It might be a generational thing. If you’re 30+ you may still be paying for dates. But young cats… naw.

          Only guys who’ve OFFERED to pay were Southerners I’ve dated who transplanted up here.

          • A Woman’s Eyes

            I am over 30 and have never paid for my own meal on a date with a man.

            • Yoles

              + fat bodied me… never ever, i have also never been asked to pay or even had a dude hesitate to reach for the check…

          • au napptural

            I’m 24 and I feel you. AND I’m from the South. But I do have a really nice male friend (who is ONLY a friend) who pays most of the time when we go out. I will be controversial though. I think the paying gap is not generational, it actually has to do with home training. Every guy I’ve every dated who was raised properly has paid, at first. Now who treats, splits, w/e later in a relationship is different. But guys with crazy entitlement issues (and no fathers) be looking wise and otherwise when that check hits the table. Investigate familial background before you go out, it saves time.

      • Asiyah

        “Plus, I can count on ONE HAND the times I’ve had dinner entirely paid for by a man. Dudes in the NE seaboard be going DUTCH like they are Amish!”

        Same here.

      • http://www.twitter.com/black_yoda black yoda

        Wage gap myth has been debunked.

        • SweetSass

          No it hasn’t. Merely stating that more women occupy lower paid jobs doesn’t debunk that even when women occupy the same jobs as men they get paid less.

          • http://www.blackyodaprime.blogspot.co Black yoda

            Show me a group of female firefighters, teachers, police officers, coal miners, sanitation workers, soldiers, etc who have the same educational background and number of years experience who make 70+% of their male counterparts in this country. It doesn’t happen. The gov’t own reports will tell you that.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        word? i always pay. and im 30+. i dont enjoy paying all the time, but its what i do.

        • SweetSass

          You have Southern roots, no?

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

            I do.

      • 2Rawtid

        +A million. if this aint the truth! you better Preach!

      • http://www.blacklatinafabulous.com Maris

        NY dudes are worse. And that’s all Imma say about that.

        • http://www.blacklatinafabulous.com Maris

          Actually, I’m lying. I’m over 30 (full disclosure) and occasionally walk outta my house looking like this:

          https://twitter.com/Amaris_Acosta/status/336634065505624064/photo/1

          I’d be lucky if I get free icewater on a date in NY. Real damn talk.

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

            I can’t tell if you’re saying you walk out the house like that, and dudes still wont get you free icewater in which case, that’s crazy.

            Or if you’re saying you walk out the house like that as if to say you look a mess therefore you wont’ get icewater in NY, in which case thats a total humblebrag.

            • http://www.blacklatinafabulous.com Maris

              Bahaha!! ‘Twas the former, not the latter. I’m still pissed about that day!

            • SweetSass

              Maris stays humblebragging!

          • h.h.h.

            that’s because we haven’t been properly introduced.

            *shrugs*

            *extends hand* i’m h.h.h.

  • Oshun

    I’d honestly HATE having a dingalongylong, and I’d die if it were small. That’s all.

    • namia

      +100

    • DG

      Honestly, having a johnson is convenient as hell…it’s like having an all-purpose on you at all times. Aside from the obvious physiological uses….

      1) Dycks serve as our own personal compasses. When we’re lost, we rub on it and it points north (some point southwest, tho)

      2) Dycks serve as weak metal detectors…we can find loose change, lost earrings, and other sh*t at the beach.

      3) Built in stress relievers/hand strengtheners: you ever seen an old man with weak, crippled hands?? No, because handling our dycks on a routine basis prevents arthritis. Boom.

      #themoreyouknow.

      • Sahel

        And you can initial your name in sand,dust or snow

        • DG

          …and put out small brush fires…

        • malvagio tempesta

          Actually women can do that too, just requires a skirt and a little maneuvering.

      • Yoles

        i am sooooo mad that men can pee anytime, anyplace, they can even pee in secret!! bladder health is so important to me… i wanna be able to pee in the street (in an emergency to prevent future incontinence) and not be called ratchet!!!!!

        • http://www.saysmeblog.wordpress.com Aly

          Since you’re my friend and I love you, I won’t tell my “Yolie peeing on the side of the road story” – unless someone asks really, really nicely *walks away whistling*

          • Todd

            May I please hear the Yoles peeing on the side of the road story? Pretty please!

            Hell, this is a woman that offered me that White Girl (and I don’t mean Becky) for my birthday. I would expect some of anything. :)

          • Rewind

            Knowing Yoles the way I know her, I’m surprised it hasn’t had more often.

            I see I need to get her drunk next time and just wait for the show to begin.

            • http://www.saysmeblog.wordpress.com Aly

              The thing is, she wasn’t even drunk! Needless to say, I was shocked! ;) Lemme stop, because I know she has at least one embarrassing story on me.

              • Rewind

                Yoles doesn’t get embarassed, she just becomes dangerous. this is almost like us daring her to top that story you have.

                • Yoles

                  you are correct… i do not get embarrassed at things i have done… yes i have used the wide open roadways as urinals on plenty of sober occasions and even took Aly along with me!

                  • nicole

                    In Germany that is normal…lol I was stationed there for 10yrs and the whole dang family will pull over and just wizzz for dear life…Mom, Dad, Kids and the dog…lol

        • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

          @Ms. Yoles:
          You’re kidding me, right? Read some of the history of Victorian England, Women were doing the deed all over the place, too…

          O.

        • h.h.h.

          you know how many cameras are up in the city?? that’s an emergency maneuvering tactic nowadays.

          shoutout to the Cross Island.
          * goes back to the lurking*

        • http://missrosen.wordpress.com esa

          ha haa yeaa ~ i got that pee-anywhere envy. so does my girl. she spent years peeing all over the world and photographing herself doing it. then, i published her book, Pees on Earth ~*~ it alternately freaks out or turns men all the way onn ~

          http://missrosen.wordpress.com/2010/04/15/ellen-jong-did-they-thing-i-was-dangerous/

          • Sahel

            HAHAHAHA,she was peeing on a roof. Well,that cant be penis envy. Lol,thats just crazy

            • http://missrosen.wordpress.com esa

              in Shanghai too ~ she told me that was the most nervous shot cause she thought police were watchinn ~

              but yo ! there is a shot of her in the book peeinn onn a muhhfukkinn public phone and another one of her on top of a taxi goinn to town ! dont evaa touch nothinn. you just dont knoww ~*~

          • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

            @Ms. Esa:
            Hmm. Very interesting photos indeed.

            May I ask: is Ms. Ellen Jong any kin to Ms. Erica Jong? Just curious due to the rather unique sounding surnames.

            Henry Spencer Ashbee – the Man most likely to have been the diarist “Walter” from the Victorian-era “My Secret Life” – discussed at some length his being turned on by the sight of ladies relieving themselves. And the notion of “golden showers” and the like are known to have a certain erotic appeal to some Men and Women alike.

            As for me personally, I can take it or leave it. It is of no particular consequence one way or another. If a Woman’s gotta go, she goes.

            *shrugs*

            O.

            P.S.: Please tell Ms. Ellen that I highly commend her camera work!

            • http://missrosen.wordpress.com esa

              (smile)

              Jong is a pretty common Chinese surname. i dont think she related to Erica, being Erica took that name from her ex-husband.

              i’ll let Miss Jong know you dig the photos. we had the best time workinn onn tha book. Rush Limbaugh wrote a snotty review of it. me thinks he doth protest too much ~*~

              yeaa. the Brits are big on this, real fetish ish. always havinn that stiff upper lip makes them quiver for less mundane fare, purrhaps ~

          • Rewind

            I won’t front…I kind of find it awesome when women pop a squat in public…its almost like looking at Goku go Super Sayjin except the yellow is coming from below.

            • Marshal

              Rewind, you totally lost me with the Reverse Super-Saiyan comment……….

          • CNotes

            o_O

            • camilleblu

              lol

          • http://www.OpinionatedMale.com Mr SoBo

            Dare I ask, what does she wipe with?

      • Wild Cougar

        I think the peens must be hella inconvenient. Its like guys are the beta version humans. I mean, really. It is a very bad idea to put the reproductive organs on the outside where they just dangle there waiting for injury. Ugly, too. God made the new and improved version after He realized the mistake.

        • Sahel

          Sexiest

          • Wild Cougar

            I don’t know if you’re calling me the sexiest (cartoon) or sexist.

            • Demondog 06

              both…

        • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

          @Ms. Wild Cougar:
          This explains why Women are far and away more susceptible to urinary tract infections and STDs in general.

          Yea, really great upgrade…

          O.

        • au napptural

          And don’t forget those handy multiple orgasms!

      • Rewind

        Word..it’s like our own personal Swiss Army knife, except the only thing it cuts is va-ginal walls. Yup.

      • Asiyah

        In times of a road trip, having a dong is advantageous. There are not many clean toilets on the road.

    • Kema

      Having a wee wee seems like it would be cool (not cooler than my va jay jay tho). Real talk… My friend and I were chilling / smoking talking the random stuff that comes up when you smoke. Well we started to think about what we would do if we woke up with a p*nis. My first thought was I would immediately try to find someone to suck it. Her being the bestie she was said “I’d suck it for you”. :-)

      • camilleblu

        #DEAD!! kema…you’s a fool!!!

      • Rewind

        That’s a real friend right there. But I don’t think you could be trusted with a peen.

        There would be frosty faces everywhere and yet nobody would have went to Wendys that day.

        • Kema

          God knew what she was doing when she made me a woman. I would have been trying to stick my peen everywhere. Smh!

          • Rewind

            You’d probably have your own version of Ghetto Gaggers going, except the women might be happy afterwards.

            I do find it funny though that most girls would want to f*ck anything that moves if they had a peen, but can’t understand why we feel that way every day.

            • Kema

              Oh we understand… We dont like

              • Rewind

                Unless you could do it yourself…then you would.

  • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

    Occasionally I’ll read an interesting post somewhere written by a White person. So, I’m enjoying the post and then in the middle of it, seemingly out of nowhere, they throw in some crazy stereotypical bit about a Black person and I’m like, WTF!

    Same goes when I’m reading an interesting post and out of the blue the writer throws in some crazy stereotypical thing about lesbians. Like, how manly lesbians are. Or, alluding to the non-fact that all lesbians are butch. And, I’m like WTF!

    Moving right along. If I were a man (gag) I’d hate:

    01. Having to suppress my feelings otherwise being thought less a man.
    02. Having a penis
    03. Having a penis
    04. In the case of many Black men, being feared for no reason other than being a Black man
    05. Having to hang with ‘your boys’.
    06. Having to (if str8) approach women in social situations, risking rejection
    07. Having friends who harassed women on the street
    08. Getting into bulls*it confrontations with other men over some b.s. machismo/ respect situation.
    09. In the case of many Black men, being hassled by the police.
    10. Having a penis.

    • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

      Please free me. Thanks in advance. :-)

    • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com Tristan

      damn that’s how you feel

    • Sahel

      Having a penis aint that bad. She will always know if your happy to see her

      • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com Val

        But, what if you don’t want a particular woman to know you’re aroused?

        We can hide our arousal, men can’t. That seems like a disadvantage of having a p*nis to me.

        • SweetSass

          And sometimes they apparently ‘turn on’ when you don’t want them to? That would be annoying.

          • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

            Why are yall actin like havin a dong is the most inconvenient sh*t ever? It’s not a problem at all when it’s flaccid. Only times it’s a problem when erect are

            1) When you’re wearing jogging pants
            2) When your boxers are too small (or if you’re the type that wears skinny jeans I guess).
            3) When you’re trying to go to sleep…on your stomach. Now THAT sh*t’s very inconvenient.

            • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

              04. When you are in class and class ends.

              Lol. Took me a while back in high school to figure out why guys would just sit there after the bell.

            • Rewind

              Ugh I hate sleeping on my stomach with an erection, it’s like jacking up a car in midair to change a flat tire.

              Don’t even get me started on morning wood that starts at like 4am.

              • Kema

                I hate sleeping on an erection too.

                • h.h.h.

                  #eyeseewhatyoudidthere

                  *takes notes*

                • Marshal

                  Kema,
                  You hate sleeping on an erection because it’s not “in” or just because?

    • http://www.saysmeblog.wordpress.com Aly

      Yeah, the lesbian thing threw me off too Val.

      So… what you’re trying to tell us is that you DON’T like the peen? ;)

      • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com Val

        It seems like a real burden walking around with one. Plus, there seems to be a lot of pressure to have a large one. And self-esteem problems if it isn’t.

        • Kema

          I’m pretty sure my peen would be big. Uh huh!

          • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

            Lol. That’s it, think positive!

    • kenyadigit

      You would hat hanging with your boys? I dont get it.

      • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com Val

        There seems like a lot of social pressure for guys to hang with the fellas. Something I wouldn’t like if I was a dude.

        • Demondog 06

          naw babe…we need it. you can’t be yourself like you can around your comrades. when any of my friends that are married, gets a pass for a guys night out, it’s like watching a kid who was just let off of punishment, and can come outside again

          • http://missrosen.wordpress.com esa

            how grim ..

    • Rewind

      Val, having a peen aint that bad..except in fights and when nature decides you should join the Millimeter Club.

      Then its a bad thing.

      • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com Val

        Yeah, that social and internal pressure to have one of a certain size seems like an unnecessary burden, Todd.

        • Todd

          I know both me and Rewind are both Bajan men from New York, but we don’t ALL look alike. LOL

          • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com Val

            Lol. Oh, snap! I just woke up. Sorry, Rewind. Thanks, Todd. :-)

        • Rewind

          lmaooo we need to meet Val, so that you’ll know me and Todd look nothing alike.

          Come to NY Val! Visit us.

          And yes, having a societal pressure to have a piece of skin and tissue growing from your pelvis be a certain size or else you’re a complete failure in life really f*cking sucks. Even women with really small boobs don’t have deal with that kind of pressure.

          • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

            I miss NY!

            Yeah, women usually get over the small boobs thin by the end of high school.

    • au napptural

      How is the man’s true lived experience a stereotype? I can understand if he made up the story, but this is what happened to him. #wth

  • http://www.blacklatinafabulous.com Maris

    1st, if 95% of television was geared towards me the women on it would look like me…not like Denise Richards. But I digress.

    If I was a man I’d likely be a “problem solver”, which means I’d absolutely hate the fact that women want a sounding board instead.
    As a woman, however, the only real thing that bugs me is y’all finish, EVERY time, and have the nerve to be selfish about it. To this day with all the health benefits attached I have yet to figure out why men die earlier. Maybe it’s because you have to live with women.

    • Sahel

      Well thats nature”s way of balancing out the scales. We finish every time and you all get the multiples.

      • http://www.blacklatinafabulous.com Maris

        Que son los multiples?

        • Sahel

          Multiple Os that women have and men cant

          • Yoles

            most women can not have a single O much less multiples…

            :(

            • Afropetite

              What a sad sad existence that must be :-(

            • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

              @Ms. Yoles:
              “most women can not have a single O much less multiples…”

              O: And who’s problem is that, my dear?

              I hear the faint sound of “99 Problems” off in the distance…

              O.

              • Kinghenry

                word!!!

            • Wild Cougar

              What?! Who? When did that happen?

        • Todd

          Come to me…come to Todd. I’ll help you remove that from your bucket list. Oh, the stories I could tell about multiples. *cackle*

          • Sweet GA Brown

            Im weak. Lol

          • Rewind

            How are you seriously not a balding fat white guy in a basement with tons of porn posters everywhere?

            You amaze me.

            • Breezy

              iCan’t breeve…this description fits Todd to prefection!

              • Todd

                Let’s see…my walls are bare. I’m in shape. I have all my hair. And I’m way darker than a paper bag.

                Other than that, you’re right. :)

    • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

      @Ms. Maris:
      “1st, if 95% of television was geared towards me the women on it would look like me…not like Denise Richards.”

      O: Don’t sweat it…judgin by you avatar, you’re close enough…

      O.

    • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

      @Ms. Maris:
      “To this day with all the health benefits attached I have yet to figure out why men die earlier. Maybe it’s because you have to live with women.”

      O: No, it’s due to:

      1. Hardly ANY of the supposed “health bennies” being specifically targetted toward Men, especially Black Men, and

      2. Because Men the world over die earlier than Women due to evolutionary pressures.

      I quote:

      “Earlier Death of Men

      Human mating mechanisms account for the puzzling finding that men die faster and earlier than women in all societies. Selection has been harder on men than on women in this respect. Men live shorter lives than women and die in greater numbers of more causes at every point in the life cycle. In America, for example, men die on average six to eight years earlier than do women. Men are susceptible to more infections than women and die of a greater variety of diseases than women. Men have more accidents than women, including falls, accidental poisonings, drownings, firearm accidents, car crashes, fires, and explosions. Males suffer a 30 percent higher mortality rate from accidents during the first four years of life and a 400 percent higher mortality from accidents by the time they reach adulthood. Men are murdered nearly three times as often as women. Men die taking risks more often than women and commit suicide more often than women. The ages between sixteen and thirty-eight, when intras*xual competition reaches a strident pitch, seem especially bad for men. During those ages, men suffer a mortality rate nearly 200 percent higher than women.”

      The Evolution of Desire, Prof. David Buss, pp. 199-200

      One would think that, given these facts, much more in the way of healthcare services and outreach, would be geared toward Men; yet, Oct is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and the NFL dons pink.

      You can’t make this stuff up…

      O.

      • Kema

        I read somewhere that now that men are taking a more active role in raising children their life spans are increasing.

        • mena

          Men of the world are dying from not taking care of themselves. When you play a more active role in your kids life, you tend to do better in the health department. You want to live longer.

          Men are dying from preventable problems (smoking, drinking, not eating well, stress from working many hours).

          • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

            @Ms. Mena:
            “Men of the world are dying from not taking care of themselves. When you play a more active role in your kids life, you tend to do better in the health department. You want to live longer.”

            O: That’s certainly a plausible hypothesis…

            “Men are dying from preventable problems (smoking, drinking, not eating well, stress from working many hours).”

            O: But Women are also havin health problems due largely to preventable diseases – this is particularly true with regard to Black Women, such as obesity. Yet, there exists all manner of outreach specifically geared to them, and NOT to Men in general, and Black Men in particular.

            Therefore, something else has to account for this. I say it is Ideology.

            What sayeth you?

            O.

            • mena

              Not a hypothesis. Will link articles shortly.

            • mena

              http://www.news-medical.net/news/20130518/Article-examines-global-health-policies-and-burden-of-disease-on-men.aspx

              I was thinking globally O. Not locally. I would still suggest that locally, what I mentioned holds true as well. Obesity is a huge problem in the black community and by tackling that problem you would tackle diabetes and high blood pressure. Men still smoke, drink, and undergo unnecessary risks more so than women though. It’s a cultural issue. Thoughts?

              • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

                @Ms. Mena:
                Yes –

                WHY isn’t there a Black Men’s Health Study?

                WHY isn’t there national attention being brought to Black Men’s health issues, at the high governmental level, like in the case with Blac Women?

                WHY is the NFL, et al, not doing anything with regard to Prostate cancer, which affects Black Men particularly?

                Thoughts?

                O.

                • mena

                  Clue me in on the health studies that tackle only black women’s health? Mostly, the studies that I have read about target the black community (AIDS, diabetes, high blood pressure).

                  Also, another thing that may be worth looking into is how likely are women to go to the doctor and ask for help vs. men. Men are more likely to engage in riskier behavior than women and as such, some of their health problems can be stopped by simply not engaging in those risky behaviors (drug use, smoking, alcohol abuse, gangs, etc).

                  I know that prostate cancer is a huge health concern right now and so is bre@st cancer.

                  What disparities are you referring to? I also feel, as I said up top, that the reason why health programs are geared towards women (in general) more than men is b/c women hold the burden of taking care of the children whereas men do not.

          • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

            @Ms. Mena:
            Also, even if your hypothesis proves correct, we are only talking about one half of the problem; the Men in question would have already reproduced. What about the Men who haven’t?

            O.

            • SweetSass

              You still get the same benefits if you raise someone else’s kid.

              • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

                @Ms. SweetSass:
                Perhaps; but that still doesn’t answer my question about Men who have not yet reproduced.

                Your thoughts?

                O.

        • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

          @Ms. Kema:
          “I read somewhere that now that men are taking a more active role in raising children their life spans are increasing.”

          O: If you happen to run across the link, could you please post it? Sounds like an interesting read…

          Thanks in advance!

          O.

      • camilleblu

        O…serious question…i may be wrong, but aren’t there more men than women in healtcare fields and most related service fields overall?? (doctors, firemen, scientists, police officers, etc.) – if so, then it would seem that men are doing there own selves a disservice by not implementing more programs geared towards their own gender. why do you think that is??

        • mena

          B/c globally, doctors see the disparities b/w men and women on a level us regular folk will never see nor comprehend. And when that is thrown in your face everyday, you have no choice but to recognize the truth. Globally, being a woman puts you at a huge disadvantage.

          You should hear the stories i hear from PIs on what they have seen in African and Asian countries and the amount of work that women do vs. men. And this is coming from male PIs and doctors.

          Why do you think microloans only go to women? Look it up.

          • camilleblu

            yeah…the struggle is real…i think i had to do a paper on microloans when i was in school..

            • mena

              The men waste the money on alcohol, cigarettes and other crap while the women actually turn that little bit of change into a business. Again, when society places the burden of children on women, the men only need to care about themselves instead of their families. The PIs would go to these countries and would be disgusted with the men there. I’ve had a few PIs tell me that the women would clean, cook, work outside of the home, take care of the husband, etc. and the dudes wouldn’t lift a finger. Then if a war breaks out and the woman is r@ped or mutilated, the husband can kick her out of the home along with the children or worse, the children are turned into soldiers and the girls are used as s3x slaves for the soldiers?!?

              More health services are being pushed to women globally b/c without them, no one would care for the children and the next generation.

              • SweetSass

                A country’s wealth is direct correlation with how they treat women.

                Educate your women and girls and your whole country will prosper.

        • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

          @Ms. CamilleBlue:
          “O…serious question…i may be wrong, but aren’t there more men than women in healtcare fields and most related service fields overall??”

          O: I wouldn’t know; I haven’t seen any definitive stats on that topic.

          “(doctors, firemen, scientists, police officers, etc.) – if so, then it would seem that men are doing there own selves a disservice by not implementing more programs geared towards their own gender. why do you think that is??”

          O: Because there is no, and has never been, any such thing as “Team Men”; the truth is that Men and Women have evolved to pursue *individual* interests, and will sometimes ally themselves with others of like mind, be that male or female, to foster their own ends.

          None of this diminishes my point: that Men, as a group, do NOT get anywhere near the outreach or services medically, that Women do; and that this is especially pronounced when it comes to American Black Women/Men…

          O.

    • Todd

      Is “sounding board” code for “dumping all of your emotions on someone who doesn’t share your feelings and expecting them to share your exact perspective upon penalty of death”? Because in my experience, “sounding board” is what women do because they’re usually less strong than a man and therefore can’t whip tail as easily. :)

      • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

        @Todd:
        When Women talk about the importance of Men being “emotionally available” and so forth, what they really mean is that they want Men TO BE ABLE TO DISCUSS HER FEELINGS. They really aren’t all that interested in what the inner lives of Men are about or like, and we see evidence of this in ways big and small, every single day.

        O.

        • http://missrosen.wordpress.com esa

          ~ They really aren’t all that interested in what the inner lives of Men are about or like

          oOo i am !

          • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

            @Ms. Esa:
            Noted; but I think you might agree with me that my statement isn’t that terribly far off from the truth, in the aggregate?

            O.

            • http://missrosen.wordpress.com esa

              perhaps ~ i dont know enough women to speak on their behalf. i’ve seen a whole range of behaviors tho, so anything is possible ~*~

          • Rewind

            Esa, you don’t count. You’re not even counting as a human being anymore, you’ve somehow ascended us.

            • http://missrosen.wordpress.com esa

              ascension is not my thang unless you got shrooms then yeaa we can talk about el cielo all day ~*~

          • Asiyah

            why be interested in the inner lives of men, Esa? there’s not much to them. they pretty much don’t have any feelings.

            • Kema

              I swear having preteen boys have taught me the most about men. lol! They have feelings. It just looks soooo different.

              • Asiyah

                I acknowledge that they do have feelings, however, if they insist on repressing them then I will insist on ignoring them.

                • Kema

                  I hear you!! Lmao!

            • http://missrosen.wordpress.com esa

              ~ why be interested in the inner lives of men, Esa? there’s not much to them. they pretty much don’t have any feelings.

              Miss Asiyah, cmonn now ~*~

              some of the most fascinating people in the world are men. i write about them, to them, of them all day every day and then some ~*~

              there is SO much to men. they the yang to mahh yin. when i really get into it, truth be told, they are the best for some much that i, as a woman, would never otherwise understand ~*~

              • Asiyah

                I wouldn’t call them fascinating. That’s a stretch. I do acknowledge that some can be very interesting, but as I told Kema, if they insist on repressing their thoughts and emotions then I will have no other choice but to ignore that such things exist. I’d love to hear a man’s fascinating inner world if only he were brave enough to let me in.

                • http://missrosen.wordpress.com esa

                  ~ I’d love to hear a man’s fascinating inner world if only he were brave enough to let me in.

                  this is why i love being a journalist, a publicist, a publisher, an author, a curator, alla it :: i get to dive into the deep waters of the dark ~*~

                  sometimes it’s not about asking someone to be brave for you, it’s about you being brave for them. i love mutuality in all communication because this is where it becomes transcendent ~*~

                  i will say, once trust is established, men tend to be real open with all those things they hold back because they see there is no weapon in my hands, no razor under my tongue. they also know that i am really open to their greatness and in that, they shine like the sun ~*~

                  love love love

                  YAYMEN (giggle)

        • Rewind

          Agreed. I don’t know why, but even a good woman at some points could give 2 f*cks about her man’s feelings or opinions on life, she just wants him to talk about her. Everyday. EVERY F*CKING DAY.

          • Asiyah

            I can answer why: because men are jerks who don’t deserve people to hear them out. You treat women like crap well don’t expect us to give any f*cks about your feelings or opinions. The former don’t exist and the latter are misogynistic and on some “it’s the women’s fault” thing.

            • Rewind

              That’s a lot of BS Asyiah, come on.

              If the men you encountered were jerks, they were trained to be jerks, just like the women I’ve met were narcassitic twats. I don’t think all women are bad because of the experiences I have, and I don’t think all women are that naracissitic, but I do believe many women have been trained by experiences that everything is about them, so they live their lives as if that is the case.

              There are plenty of dudes who’d be willing to have a conversation with a woman, if the entire conversation is just about her. If all people do around you is talk about themselves, is it really unlikely you’d start being rude to them for not realizing a conversation is a two-way street?

              • Asiyah

                “There are plenty of dudes who’d be willing to have a conversation with a woman, if the entire conversation is just about her.”

                That’s not really a conversation, is it? That’s a lecture. You shouldn’t be rude but let the woman now that you want to talk about yourself as well.

          • http://missrosen.wordpress.com esa

            ~ she just wants him to talk about her. Everyday. EVERY F*CKING DAY.

            how boring. i talk about me enough. the last thing i’d like is to hear other people’s opinions of me. so none of my business.

            i’m so much more interested in other people’s experiences and world views and to the truest extent, what use they make of them ~*~

        • http://www.terryodis.wix.comtodis MicTheMessenger

          “They really aren’t all that interested in what the inner lives of Men are about or like, and we see evidence of this in ways big and small, every single day.”

          This tends to be a two way street.

          • http://www.terryodis.wix.comtodis MicTheMessenger

            Well, except as a man I typically don’t wanna talk about your life OR mine.

            I just wanna play XBox/smoke sum’n/watch pr0n/blast my music/read my book/eat my chips and salsa/read blogs

            sans conversation.

            • Rewind

              Yes! Add getting sh*tfaced drunk to that .

            • Demondog 06

              yep….and then get sum o dat poon, turn over, fart and then go to sleep……good times

            • Asiyah

              yes! conversation is overrated! both genders should just shut up.

            • Kema

              So funny cause I know some talkative men. Lol! They can go boy

              • MicTheMessengner

                I think men get talkative when we’re passionate about something (re:hobbies,sports, a$$)

                • Kema

                  Yea… add baby mommas, wack ninja’s, how different they are….

                  • Micthemessenger

                    What clan are these ninjas from?

              • http://missrosen.wordpress.com esa

                ohmagosh my last man, he was kinda borderline aspberger’s with the recital of entire narratives from memory.

                one time i was like, “did you ever consider your audience? you kinda drone” and he looked at me kinda curious and then gave me a resounding, “nope. too much work.”

        • SweetSass

          And men are interested in women’s lives and inner thoughts?

          Why are you being a victim here? This happens to everyone.

          • au napptural

            Whiny b1tch syndrome I suppose. Everyone wants someone who’ll just listen to their problems and be about their needs. most people grow the fcuk up and realize you have toe give to receive, pun intended. If someone were just alive to give you pleasure and serve your whims, that would mean either a.) you have enslaved them or b.) you are dreaming.

          • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

            @Ms. SweetSass:
            “And men are interested in women’s lives and inner thoughts?”

            O: Absolutely; after all, it was a Man who asked the question: What do Women Want?

            “Why are you being a victim here? This happens to everyone.”

            O: I’m not; I’m merely responding to statements YOU actually made, is all; and to date, you have NOT meaningfully (let alone directly) addressed them.

            In case you need a refresher, here you go:

            The Pain & Science Of Rejection: Q&A
            http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com/entry/133578

            Still patiently waiting…

            O.

      • http://www.blacklatinafabulous.com Maris

        No, I mean when women come to men with a problem (say, a disagreement with their boss), men are likely to immediately respond with a solution, while studies have shown women prefer to be empathized with as opposed to having their problem “solved” by their man. It is a simple case of two different hard wirings, and I can imagine it is immensely frustrating for a man to deal with.

        PS- for women, the way around it is to state what you want your man to do to assist you BEFORE you begin to delve into the conflict story. And then be brief. They’ve tuned out your details, anyway.

        • DG

          Totally agree…an unwritten tenet of manhood is that men don’t complain…accordingly, it’s difficult for us to merely listen to a woman’s issues without offering advice or assistance in resolving said issues. Your advice for dealing with this is spot on.
          Btw, great pic above.

        • Mackandal

          If you dont want a solution to a problem to go away then, why complain about the problem in the first place? Shut up and bask in your masochistic scenerio!!!

  • DG

    Good post, folk…the comments today should be hella interesting…esp. from the VSS.

    As for me, I think I’d hate the attitude some men have towards women. I remember overhearing this young dude (no more than 22, 23 yo) on the phone with his chick…way he talked to her made it sound like he was talking to a maid…”Iron that shirt for me…naw, the blue shirt…” He wasn’t really asking her as so much issuing commands….it kinda made me wonder how he viewed women and, accordingly, what role he thought women should fulfill in his (or any other man’s) life.
    All that said, some men treat their women like personal servants…d@mn near concubines….on some the-royal-paynus-is-clean type steez. I’d have a serious problem with that kind of mentality.

    • Oshun

      DG, do you know all along I’ve been thinking you are a woman? This is absolutely banana crazy.

      • DG

        Yeah, that’s crazy…all male here.

    • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

      @DG:
      “As for me, I think I’d hate the attitude some men have towards women. I remember overhearing this young dude (no more than 22, 23 yo) on the phone with his chick…way he talked to her made it sound like he was talking to a maid…”Iron that shirt for me…naw, the blue shirt…” He wasn’t really asking her as so much issuing commands….it kinda made me wonder how he viewed women and, accordingly, what role he thought women should fulfill in his (or any other man’s) life.
      All that said, some men treat their women like personal servants…d@mn near concubines….on some the-royal-paynus-is-clean type steez. I’d have a serious problem with that kind of mentality.”

      O: Question: how do YOU know this relationship dynamic was something the Woman *didn’t* like? Have you ever seen the film “Secretary”?

      To impose your particular standards of what a relationship should ideally be, is just a weebit presumptuous – yes?

      O.

      • DG

        Not presumptuous at all, folk. As stated, I merely overheard what he said to her over the phone. I wasn’t privy to her response/reaction, so I can’t speak on that. But I know that if I were a woman, I wouldn’t have responded well, given the demanding tone he was using. It reeked of entitlement. Hell, as a man, I wouldn’t respond to it unless I was in a military or other type of organized command setting.
        Remember, the purpose of today’s topic is to put yourself in the shoes of the opposite sex. So for today, O, you’re known as Amethyst, and you and SweetSass are trading places.
        Now get out there and Twerk something…

        • camilleblu

          #dying @twerk something

        • Kema

          Yes!!! Please O write something from a woman’s POV.

          • SweetSass

            That would require empathy.

            • Asiyah

              LOL WORD.

            • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

              But Sass where’s YOUR empathetic post? The two people I was most interested to hear from on this topic (ie not just them responding to other people’s posts or co-signing) was YOU and Obsidian (and maybe Negro Libre and WC but I doubt they’ll participate either).

              • SweetSass

                Click the new post button a couple times.

          • Mackandal

            You first.

        • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

          @DG:
          “Not presumptuous at all, folk. As stated, I merely overheard what he said to her over the phone. I wasn’t privy to her response/reaction, so I can’t speak on that. But I know that if I were a woman, I wouldn’t have responded well, given the demanding tone he was using. It reeked of entitlement. Hell, as a man, I wouldn’t respond to it unless I was in a military or other type of organized command setting.”

          O: Of course it was presumptuous on your part, made all the moreso by your own statements above. You don’t know the Woman, you don’t know how she responded if she indeed responded at all; all you know is that YOU didn’t like it – which, as you note below, is rather ironic given the nature of today’s topic.

          “Remember, the purpose of today’s topic is to put yourself in the shoes of the opposite sex. So for today, O, you’re known as Amethyst, and you and SweetSass are trading places.
          Now get out there and Twerk something…”

          O: I don’t “twerk”…

          O.

          • h.h.h.

            “O: I don’t “twerk”…”

            YOU GONN LEARNNNNN TODAY.

            #ayo

            • SweetSass

              Make it clap.

              • Sweet GA Brown

                Unzips SweetSass’ dufflebag of saran wrapped $20

          • Asiyah

            What I hate the most about being a woman is having to deal with men like O who project their own presumptuousness and pedantic attitudes onto others. Nowhere in DG’s statement did he say that that particular woman didn’t like it. He said that if HE were a woman, HE wouldn’t like it. How is that presumptuous? The only one being presumptuous here is you, O, alluding to the fact that the woman on the other end of the phone might have actually like that because duh, women love to be treated like crap.

            • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

              “Nowhere in DG’s statement did he say that that particular woman didn’t like it. He said that if HE were a woman, HE wouldn’t like it.”

              Exactly. I hate when people ignore your point and respond to a point you weren’t even attempting to make and didn’t even imply.

            • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

              @Ms. Asyiah:
              And what if the Woman in question actually DID like it – then what? THAT, is MY point. DG has no idea; indeed, all he is doing is saying WHAT HE DOESN’T LIKE, which is fine, but again incomplete in light of the phone call.

              So…again, I ask:

              What it that Woman, DID like it?

              What then?

              Hmm?

              O.

              • Asiyah

                If she likes it then she does, but DG, as a woman, would not. That is his point. He can’t fathom why any woman would like that kind of treatment because he doesn’t like that.

              • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

                “which is fine, but again incomplete in light of the phone call.”

                Right, but 100% complete in terms of today’s topic though.

              • DG

                O, just noticed this…
                I left it alone because Asiyah and T.O. addressed it adequately, but your question is essentially a counterpoint to a point that I never made. You accused me of being presumptuous, but it was based on a point I never made. Maybe you read too much into my statement or something, but I didn’t address their relationship or her feelings because I had no basis to do so. I addressed I felt in regards to his show she felt. As to whether she liked it or not…your guess is as good as mine. But your questions about how she felt are akin to you asking me “why isn’t the sky red?” or “why isn’t water dry?”

        • Rewind

          lmaoooooo dis nucka said twerk something

          *blasts Soulja Boi “She Gotta Donkey”*

        • CNotes

          LMAO!!!!!

    • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com Tristan

      I feel you on that one….ain’t no ninja checking me

    • Sweet GA Brown

      I can finally exhale. Woooooooooooooooooooo. I always say its about wordplay and a lot of guys(and women) dont know how to speak to someone that they regard as their S/O. Its a certain courtesy that you should give someone so they dont feel used, belittled, or taken advantage of.

      • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com Val

        I think that if someone hates them self, they are very likely to hate anyone who would want to be with them. And, that hatred will show itself in being abusive/ disrespectful to their S/O.

  • http://alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

    Great topic P. I love the idea of forcing ppl step back and have some empathy for the opposite gender. (That doesn’t happen very often here). It’s gonna be telling to see who’s forthcoming and honest and who tries to front like they can’t think of much (minus a few minor inconveniences) that their gender does that’s tough to tolerate.

    1)I would say the obsession men have with quantity of chex partners (rather than merely quality). The fact that there’s no p*ssy like new p*ssy would prolly have me a lil shook about relationships and potential infidelity. (Plus we bore easily with women in general)

    2) To expand Panama’s #1 and 3 I’d go as far as to include anything that pertains to pride, ego, or masculinity (the three are related). Masculinity gets way deeper and more sensitive cause it’s less flexible and so much more concrete. Those are some tough minefields to tip-toe around and I know it must suck as a woman having to navigate through all of that without striking a nerve and starting World War III with someone you love or care about. Sh*t can get awkward and become a chronic issue that can’t be solved….I don’t envy you ladies there.

    • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

      @TQF:
      “1)I would say the obsession men have with quantity of chex partners (rather than merely quality). The fact that there’s no p*ssy like new p*ssy would prolly have me a lil shook about relationships and potential infidelity. (Plus we bore easily with women in general)”

      O: Ah! You’re referring to what is known in EvoPsych circles as The Coolidge Effect.

      I quote:
      “Another psychological solution to the problem of gaining s8xual access to a number of women has to do with men’s own arousal by women and is known as the Coolidge Effect. The story is told that President Calvin Coolidge and the first lady were being given separate tours of newly formed government farms. Upon passing the chicken coops and noticing a rooster vigorously copulating with a hen, Mrs. Coolidge inquired about how often the rooster performed this duty. “Dozens of times each day”, replied the guide. Mrs. Coolidge asked the guide to “please mention this fact to the president.” When the president passed by later and was informed of the s8xual vigor of the rooster, he asked, “Always with the same hen?” “Oh, no,” the guide replied, “a different one each time”. “Please tell *that* to Mrs. Coolidge,” said the president. And so the Coolidge effect was named, referring to the tendency of males to be s8xually rearoused upon presentation of novel females, giving them a further impulse to gain s8xual access to multiple women.”

      But in case you or anyone else here might think this is only a “Man thing” or a “Black Man thing”, think again:

      “The Coolidge effect is a widespread mammalian trait that has been documented many times. Male rats, rams, cattle, and sheep all show the effect. In a typical study, a cow is placed in a bull pen, and after copulation the cow is replaced with another cow. The sull’s s8xual response continues unabated with each new cow but diminishes quickly when the same cow is left in the pen. Males continue to become aroused to the point of ejaculation in response to novel females, and the response to the eigth, the tenth, or the twelfth female is nearly as strong as the response to the first.”

      The Evolution of Desire, Prof. David Buss, pp. 79-80

      O.

      • IcePrincess

        Interesting stuff, O! That’s precisely why I’ve always relied on my personality to hook men. Sex will get them, but it won’t keep them. Also why I don’t believe in physical monogomy. But if you can stimulate what’s between his ears AS WELL as what’s between his legs, that’s when he’s “got.”

        • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

          @Ms. Ice Princess:
          While it is completely understandable as to why you would think this way – and why it is a popular notion among Women in our time – the facts do not bear this out:

          For Long Term, Men Favor Face Over Figure
          http://www.nytimes.com/2010/11/07/fashion/07STUDIED.html?_r=1&ref=fashion&

          It really is a bit more out of your hands, than you would like to believe…

          O.

          • IcePrincess

            Welp, that’s ok; I’m good in the face department as well. Beauty, brains, sex game crazy. A triple threat!

            • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

              @Ms. Ice Princess;
              Pics notwithstanding, you should be pleased…

              O.

      • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

        @ Obie- Yeah man, I actually read that same story about the President and his wife in The Red Queen (d*mn good book btw). I laughed pretty hard at that story. Sounded about right. I definitely empathize with women on that one.

    • Asiyah

      Your second point is excellent, T.Q. Very true. Dealing with masculinity and what comes with it is pretty tiring.

  • msdebbs

    All that pressure of being a man
    having to kill bugs
    lifting heavy sh*t
    blue ballz

    • Sahel

      The bull balls are the worst. Women around the world should realize they must do more to help eradicate it like it was done with small pox.

      • Sahel

        Blue*

      • http://www.blacklatinafabulous.com Maris

        “The Blues” are not a male-specific issue, actually. We’re just a lot more er…acclimated to cramps.

        And yes, that’s what they feel like.

        • Sahel

          No,no,no. Blue balls are unique. And it triples every time you see that azz wiggyling down a street or worse jogging down a street

          • Oshun

            LOL!!

        • Kema

          I actually get a female version of blue balls. Does it have a name? And maris is right…

          “Unpleasant side effects of sex-related vasocongestion may lead to the cramp-like pain of “blue balls”[3] in males and an unpleasant pelvic “heaviness” in women,[4] similar to the start of the menstruation cycle.”

          • http://www.TheNewEve.com Bunni

            ditto…..it sucks….but what is it called? Blue Box? #NoTiffanys

            • http://www.saysmeblog.wordpress.com Aly

              Love it! Let’s make this happen.

            • Kema

              I like!

            • http://twitter.com/inomallday Shamira

              BlueCl*t

              • Yoles

                that’s what i call it.. but i don’t keep that shyt for long… yoles just handles it… CURED ;)

                • Breezy

                  *ques Andre 3000 song “Vibrate”*

                  • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

                    Muthaf*ck the wagon come join the band

      • Todd

        Tabernacle! You’d be surprised how much dumb ish in the world is ultimately tied to blue balls. A cure for that would make the world a better place for men AND women. It’s amazing how many women get caught up in BS just because some dude had some blue balls and was lazy about getting relief.

        • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

          @Todd:
          Legalizing/decriminalizin Prostitution would solve a great many of the world’s problems; unfortunately, the Feminist Lobby and their Social Conservative allies, stand in the way of this most sensible solution to a longstanding problem…

          O.

          • Charlie

            “… the Feminist Lobby and their Social Conservative allies…”

            Explain this please.

            • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

              @Ms. Charlie:
              Certainly.

              What both Social Conservatives and the Feminist Lobby have in common is their desire to put constraints on (Straight) Male S8xuality. This comes in a number of forms; for example, the IMBRA section of the VAWA; or lobbying to prevent the legalization/decriminalization of Prostitution; or moving to block Roe For Men. There are other examples.

              O.

              • Charlie

                I can see why they would be against “Roe For Men”, but I see no reason for feminists to be against women doing what they want with their body.

                “…their desire to put constraints on (Straight) Male S8xuality.”

                Why would feminists have a desire to do this when the movement is only about equality? If someone wants to put “constraints”; I don’t think that has anything to do with feminism.

                • http://www.blackyodaprime.blogspot.com Black yoda

                  “….when the movement is only about equality?”

                  Have you actually talked to living feminists or read any of their work?

                  • Charlie

                    Yes.

                    Just like in the MRA movement; there are people in groups that are the loudest, but do not represent what the group stands for.

                    I’m a feminist by definition and a little bit of an MRA by definition. You can’t make sweeping generalizations sir. You know better.

                    • http://www.twitter.com/black_yoda black yoda

                      Provide some LINKS to contemporary, self-identified and staunch feminists who are all about “equality.” The response to this challenge typically falls under one of three things: 1) Crickets 2) a book list (bell hooks) or 3) refusing to comply because “it’s not the job of the person who claims feminism is all about equality to provide any evidence.” Note that none of the responses actually answers the challenge. I have you pegged as a 2/3 but maybe you’ll surprise me.

                  • Charlie

                    I’m not a scavenger.

                    The only thing you need.
                    http://goo.gl/XKpeS

                    (no reply button below your words)

                    • Charlie

                      this is a response to black yoda.

                    • http://www.blackyodaprime.blogspot.co Black yoda

                      @Charlie It really isn’t a response, but noted (#3)

                • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

                  @Ms. Charlie:
                  “I can see why they would be against “Roe For Men”, but I see no reason for feminists to be against women doing what they want with their body.”

                  O: There is a very good blog that I regularly read called The Honest Courtesan that I highly recommend you check out. Ms. Maggie McNeill frequently addresses what she refers to as “Neo-Feminism” in thie regard. Tell her the O-Man sent ya!

                  “Why would feminists have a desire to do this when the movement is only about equality? If someone wants to put “constraints”; I don’t think that has anything to do with feminism.”

                  O: You’re right:

                  “Our relative ignorance of casual mating also reflects deeply held values. Many shun the promiscuous and scorn the unfaithful because they often interfere with our own s8xual strategies. From the perspective of a married man or woman, for example, the presence of promiscuous people endangers marital infidelity. From the perspective of a single woman or man seeking marriage, the presence of promiscuous people lowers the likelihood of finding someone willing to commit. We derogate short-term strategists as cads, tramps, or womanizers because we want to discourage casual s8x, at least among some people. It is a taboo topic. But it fascinates us. We must look closer and ask why it looms so large in our mating repetoire.”

                  The Evolution of Desire, Prof. David Buss, pp. 74

                  In so many ways, Feminism is an attempt by Women who would, left to the predations of the SMP, be disadvantaged in numerous ways, to “level the playing field” – and one of the ways to do that, is the imposition of laws and customs that regulate, if not control outright, (Straight) Male S8xual Behaviors. This is why all of the items I listed above, are so vehemently opposed by Feminists, despite their cries for and of “equality”. They understand that if, for example, Men didn’t have to run the gauntlet of expensive and time-consuming courting rituals and instead could avail themselves of whores and prostitutes without censure or criminal liability, that their own mating stock would plumment. The same would be true for “mail order brides” and the like. And when it comes to RFM, Women wouldn’t have any legal means with which to force any degree of participation of the putative father of the child, even if he never wanted one in the first place.

                  (Here it must also be pointed out that the most staunch Feminists also vehemently oppose Paternity Testing)

                  Any further questions or comments, please don’t hesitate to ask…

                  O.

                  • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

                    Waiting for my comment to come out of moderation…

                    O.

                    • camilleblu

                      *singing* let’s take a long walk…..

                    • Sahel

                      Are we doing it in the woods ?

                    • camilleblu

                      lol…sahel..who are you talking to??

                    • Sahel

                      You,stupid wordpress be messing me up

                    • Kema

                      Whoever responds! Lmao

                    • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

                      Lol.

                    • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

                      .

                    • camilleblu

                      ..

                    • K. Marie

                      To THE LAND BEFORE TIME!!!!

                      Nah. Just trying to get to the new comments. LOL

                    • blackphilo

                      While you’re waiting, I’d like to ask a question. What is this consensus about the “pressure” men feel to “approach”? I basically opted out of, or never opted in to, that system–and, yet, I’ve managed well enough with quality women. (And, no, I haven’t had ladies routinely running up on me.)

                      From my perspective and in my experience, meeting halfway or at least providing some discernible indicator of interest is the way for women to go. But as things stand, the traditional expectation dearly held by many BW, ironically, only fuels gamesmanship.

                      Quality guys don’t necessarily have the skills, the motivation, and, most importantly, the need to cold approach. Some women, if not many BW, realize this and are proactive in making an effort to go for what they want. Meanwhile, BW women continue vociferously to express dissatisfaction with the men who do approach and even “win” them over.

                      Isn’t the definition of insanity repeatedly doing the same thing and expecting a different kind of result, especially in the 21st century SMP? It’s as if BW women prefer to be played–I mean, sought–by the type of man who is eager enough and successfully able to approach lovely ladies. Note “ladies” in plural, since we don’t need much imagination to realize what this male trait will often predict or, at least, enable–no matter how much any individual lady would lie to believe that she is so special.

                  • Charlie

                    ” They understand that if, for example, Men didn’t have to run the gauntlet of expensive and time-consuming courting rituals and instead could avail themselves of whores and prostitutes without censure or criminal liability, that their own mating stock would plumment.”

                    So feminazis don’t want competition? ok.

                    But there are feminists who embrace sexuality, are not scheming to keep men faithful and buying their dinners for the box, and are against slut-shaming.

                    This is why I tried to use the MRA as an example. Those crazy ones don’t represent the cause. All feminism is, is the definition. And by definition, you are one too.

                    • Charlie

                      moderation…

              • http://twitter.com/inomallday Shamira

                I know plenty of s*x positive feminists who are in favor on legalizing prostitution. I was actually just talking about this yesterday. You need more people O.

                • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

                  @Ms. Shamira:
                  Such as…? Names, please?

                  You first…

                  :)

                  O.

                  • http://twitter.com/inomallday Shamira

                    Look up the work of Carol Queen: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carol_Queen

                    COYOTE, a major feminist org in the west coast dedicated to s*x positive feministm : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/COYOTE

                    Laura María Agustín aka the Naked Anthropologist

                    Norma Jean Almodovar

                    and COUNTLESS more.

                    All prominent names in feminism.

                    Twitter activists such as @FeministaJones are well known for their work in promoting s*x positive feminism.

                    Major feminist blogs have written extensively in support of this as well:

                    http://feministing.com/2012/12/13/were-having-the-wrong-conversation-about-sex-work-and-it-makes-rush-limbaugh-happy/

                    http://www.feministe.us/blog/archives/2008/08/20/sex-work-activism-two-decriminalization/

                    http://jezebel.com/bay-area-sex-workers-tweet-their-way-to-the-top-47295214

                    In sum, there is PLENTY of support. Not to say that there aren’t detractors, but it is not as widespread as you seem to think.

                  • http://twitter.com/inomallday Shamira

                    my links put me in mod, but I promise that I have a wide array of examples for you :-D

                    • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

                      Names will suffice; I can Google them myself.

                      You were saying?

                      O.

                    • http://twitter.com/inomallday Shamira

                      *pouts* but my links were so good! Lol.

                      Look up the work of Carol Queen

                      COYOTE, a major feminist org in the west coast dedicated to s*x positive feministm

                      Laura María Agustín aka the N*ked Anthropologist

                      Norma Jean Almodovar

                      and COUNTLESS more.

                      All prominent names in feminism.

                      Twitter activists such as @FeministaJones are well known for their work in promoting s*x positive feminism

                      Major feminist blogs have written extensively in support of this as well: Femisting, Jezebel, Feministe (I put links in my above soon-to-be-freed comment:-D )

                      In sum, there is PLENTY of support. Not to say that there aren’t detractors, but it is not as widespread as you seem to think.

                      I will note that it is interesting that they are all out of the Bay Area/West Coast in general. Wonder why that would be….*scratches chin*

          • Todd

            Though if you look at the history of where a lot of the radical feminists come from in the 60s, it sort of makes sense. In a number of ways, they were much more socially conservative than their rep would make you think. That said, I’m 100% with you with legalization of prostitution.

            • SweetSass

              There are tons of sex positive feminists who are PRO-legalization of prostitution.

              I am one of them. I’d go as far to say they out weigh those who are against it. By a large factor because legalizing it would remove the need for pimps and being in healthcare, insurance, protection, etc.

              • Charlie

                thank you

                • SweetSass

                  I’ve never met in real life a fellow feminist who wasn’t pro-legalization of prostitution…

                  So the police could focus on human trafficking and unwilling victims instead.

                  • Charlie

                    Me either, like why would a feminist want women to be arrested and locked up for doing exactly what they want with their bodies? That’s a ridiculous degree of slut-shaming.

                    I agree wholeheartedly with focusing on human trafficking; the things those women go through is horrid.

                  • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

                    @Ms. SweetSass:
                    “I’ve never met in real life a fellow feminist who wasn’t pro-legalization of prostitution…

                    So the police could focus on human trafficking and unwilling victims instead.”

                    O: An actual real life call girl/madam begs to differ with you, my dear:

                    Again:

                    http://maggiemcneill.wordpress.com/

                    Any questions?

                    O.

                    • http://www.blackyodaprime.blogspot.co black yoda

                      I don’t think most feminists are pro-prostitution as much as they are pro-prostitute (when that prostitute is female). This is actually consistent with their goal of no accountability for women. If they were were pro-prostitution, they would defend the buyer as much as the seller. And that’s really where the argument should be if one were to make one at all. Good luck finding the feminist who rallies around the John who just had his life destroyed for dropping change for some strange.

                    • http://www.OpinionatedMale.com Mr SoBo

                      @black yoda

                      You’ve been making some sound points today. It would be nice if they were actually and adequately addressed.

                  • http://missrosen.wordpress.com esa

                    the police will NEVER focus on human trafficking.

                    all governments—and many of their peons—are part of the slave trade.

              • Todd

                I do know there’s a debate, and I’ve heard it both ways. There was a reason I couched my statement, because there are different strains of thought within the feminist movement.

                • SweetSass

                  Welp, my experience you have a ton of men on this here VSB board giving ‘feminism’ a position it doesn’t take.

                  A LOT.

                  It’s easy to smear something with that straw man argument bs.

                  I’ve yet to encounter a anti-legalization feminist, where you finding them?

                  Are you sure you aren’t just talking to a conservative Christian and lumping them together to make your argument stronger?

                  • Asiyah

                    Sassy’s right again.

                  • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

                    @Ms. SweetSass:
                    “I’ve yet to encounter a anti-legalization feminist, where you finding them?”

                    http://maggiemcneill.wordpress.com/

                    Any questions?

                    O.

        • Yoles

          the cure for blue balls is mast.urbation… its really simple… that’s why i don’t believe in this particular phenomenon… if arousal up until the point right before climax leaves you in pain if you don’t climax then take it into your own hands and climax… the pain is instantly relieved…

          did i just solve a world problem???

          • Todd

            For one, it ain’t just women who are uncomfy with working it out by themselves. Some dudes also feel that having to go that route somehow weakens their manhood, and copping to that will lead to a self-reinforcing spiral of increased handgame.

            Still, blue balls ain’t a motherf*cking joke. In a weird way, that first nut isn’t as much fun as it is a relief, and I typically go for round 2 just so I can actually enjoy the stuff. LOL

            • Sahel

              Todd has a point. Blue balls are dangerous especially in cold weather. The nut face can be seen a full ten minutes after nutting if it was a relief sex mission

            • http://www.TheNewEve.com Bunni

              Men AND women have got to get over that stigma….I will always be my own best lover lol…rub one out as often as you see fit!!

            • CNotes

              “…it ain’t just women who are uncomfy with working it out by themselves”

              We are uncomfy with this?

          • kenyadigit

            Masturbation is just a snack, like a bag of Lays. Them sugar walls tho… a three course meal. Much more satisfying.

            • Todd

              Sorry, your sugar walls comment made me think of the Sheena Easton song. :)

              • camilleblu

                ..

            • IcePrincess

              Sugar walls bwahahaa you sound like a dirty old man :-)

            • Rewind

              You ever go down there with a bib?

              I have.

              • camilleblu

                ummm…

              • Oshun

                o_O

                • Rewind

                  Ahhh you people are hilarious.

          • Asiyah

            YOLES FOR PRESIDENT!

  • Yoles

    if i were a man (se.xually interested in women) i would hate:

    the lies about time (i’ll be there in 10 mins, i’m around the corner damb well knowing she isn’t even dressed much less has not left her home yet)

    how hard it is to se.xually please those of the vag (cold feet seriously effects or.gasm?? come on son)

    the fact that chicks are impressing other chicks(with what they wear and how they look) all the time and those of the tribe of the peen are just reaping incidental rewards

    child support laws

    As a upstanding member of the vag holders things about men i don’t like:

    they finish almost every time.. whether wack or not its rare for the climax to not be reached

    men that actually don’t like women and have some kind of huge chip on their shoulders & think women have caused every bad thing to ever had happened. sorry fellas women can not be blamed for global warming, tax hikes, decline of the quality of american products, owing china all our money etc…

    its easier to lose weight ( i won’t even get started on that)

    oxytocin doesn’t drive them crazy

    * i’ll probably have more when i am not sneaking on the PC at work ;)

    • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

      @Ms. Yoles:
      “As a upstanding member of the vag holders things about men i don’t like:

      “they finish almost every time.. whether wack or not its rare for the climax to not be reached”

      O: ??? I am trying to grok WHY you would have a problem with this simple biological fact? Please explain?

      “men that actually don’t like women and have some kind of huge chip on their shoulders & think women have caused every bad thing to ever had happened. sorry fellas women can not be blamed for global warming, tax hikes, decline of the quality of american products, owing china all our money etc…”

      O: Perhaps you haven’t heard:

      The Pain – And Science – Of Rejection
      http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com/entry/133521

      And

      The Pain & Science Of Rejection: Q&A
      http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com/entry/133578

      I wouldn’t disagree with what appears to be extreme views on the part of some Men in this regard; but clearly, the solution is to grapple with the root of their pain and discontent – is it not?

      “its easier to lose weight ( i won’t even get started on that)”

      O: Four words:

      Al. Roker.

      Chris. Christie.

      oxytocin doesn’t drive them crazy”

      O: True; but some on the XX side of the aisle would make the case that an overabundance of testosterone isn’t good either…

      O.

      • Yoles

        Obie its really simple… we of the vag want to be able to complete all the time as well… whether its wack or not… do you want to have coitus and not climax? wouldn’t you want to climax every time? before you start a dissertation, science has not found the reason for some women to have the ability and others to be unable to climax so please refrain from applying game theory to this medical fact pls and thx

        sure they need to grapple with the causation of their issues but in the meantime stop bringing my people down!

        Men are larger and have more muscle than women due to the hormone testosterone. They are genetically designed to have a higher percentage of muscle and less fat — which works in favor of keeping them fit and allowing them to eat more calories. Men having more muscle, helps them lose weight more quickly, and they often respond to their workouts faster then women do. Experts have even found that women have a different heart rate response to exercise than men. All of this means that women have to work harder to get the same results as their male counterparts. there are physiological reasons for that difference:

        1-Men have more muscle. This allows them to burn more calories, even when at rest.
        2-Women are predisposed to store and retain fat. Women have higher levels of estrogen, a hormone that works works to keep the fat on a woman’s body so it’s easier for her to get pregnant. That means women have to work harder to lose weight at the same rate as men.
        3-Men’s bodies respond more quickly to exercise. Women’s bodies, meanwhile, actually go into a sort of starvation mode, slowing the metabolism to hang onto more fat.
        4-Women may have a lower tolerance for exercise. Women have smaller lung capacity than men, which can make women feel as though they are working harder than men even if the women are working at the same level. This can also make exercise feel harder in the heat or high humidity.

        oxytocin isn’t even measured “in excess” you are either flooded or you are not… it wrecks havoc and is out of your control with no treatment in sight.

        as far as i know from education and working in a hospital the reasons for excess testosterone are:
        steroid abuse & certain illnesses that are treatable not just oh i climaxed-FLOOD, oh i breast fed-FLOOD oh i had a baby-FLOOD

        • http://www.saysmeblog.wordpress.com Aly

          This is some good info right here.

        • Kema

          Yolie for prez!

          I feel so guilty for being able to climax everytime and getting multiples. lol! No I dont.

        • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

          @Ms. Yoles:
          Because of the nature of our exchange I’m going to breakup my response into separate parts…

          “Obie its really simple… we of the vag want to be able to complete all the time as well… whether its wack or not…”

          O: “We”? Are you in the position of speaking for all Women on this matter? It has been said and there is at least some medical science confirming, that not all Women need nor desire a climax *every time they have s8x*. So, it would appear that at best, you are speaking for a subset of Women.

          “do you want to have coitus and not climax?”

          O: Of course not.

          “wouldn’t you want to climax every time?”

          O: Certainly.

          “before you start a dissertation, science has not found the reason for some women to have the ability and others to be unable to climax so please refrain from applying game theory to this medical fact pls and thx”

          O: LOL, relax. Game not required. It is easily explained – Women are different. Some enjoy mind shattering climaxes everytime they have s8x, and others do not. No big whup.

          “sure they need to grapple with the causation of their issues but in the meantime stop bringing my people down!”

          O: That’s not what I said. I said that WOMEN need to be concerned with these issues. That there, lay the path to the solution to this problem.

          O.

          • Yoles

            Obie.. what is the purpose of this exchange… the open ended questions to this post was what don’t you like about the opposite gender… that being said.. i myself don’t need to climax everytime i engage in adult activities BUT if i could, i damn well would… am i speaking for all womankind, nope, i’m saying i am a woman and i am speaking for myself… but i will say that in my heart i truly believe that most of womankind would rather have it you guys way of almost guaranteed climaxes than our, sometimes you can, sometimes you can’t and oh girl you can’t ever. if it’s gonna be done might as well have the most possible fun right?

            • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

              @Ms. Yoles:
              “Obie.. what is the purpose of this exchange… the open ended questions to this post was what don’t you like about the opposite gender…”

              O: No doubt; but what does that have to do what we’re talking about? Please explain?

              “that being said.. i myself don’t need to climax everytime i engage in adult activities BUT if i could, i damn well would… am i speaking for all womankind, nope, i’m saying i am a woman and i am speaking for myself… ”

              O: But that is NOT what you said earlier; I quote: “WE, of the vag…” (emphasis mine). Clearly, you WERE speaking for more than merely yourself.

              “but i will say that in my heart i truly believe that most of womankind would rather have it you guys way of almost guaranteed climaxes than our, sometimes you can, sometimes you can’t and oh girl you can’t ever. if it’s gonna be done might as well have the most possible fun right?”

              O: Sure; that’s what they made Purple Sauguros for…

              ;)

              O.

        • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

          @Ms. Yoles:

          “Men are larger and have more muscle than women due to the hormone testosterone. They are genetically designed to have a higher percentage of muscle and less fat — which works in favor of keeping them fit and allowing them to eat more calories. Men having more muscle, helps them lose weight more quickly, and they often respond to their workouts faster then women do. Experts have even found that women have a different heart rate response to exercise than men. All of this means that women have to work harder to get the same results as their male counterparts.”

          O: All of which I have no trouble in the least disagreeing with – and yet, none of it diminishes my point in bringing up Roker and Christie, two Men who have had documented difficulties with losing weight and had to resort to surgical procedures to get the job done.

          “there are physiological reasons for that difference:

          1-Men have more muscle. This allows them to burn more calories, even when at rest.”

          O: True

          “2-Women are predisposed to store and retain fat. Women have higher levels of estrogen, a hormone that works works to keep the fat on a woman’s body so it’s easier for her to get pregnant. That means women have to work harder to lose weight at the same rate as men.”

          O: Indeed

          “3-Men’s bodies respond more quickly to exercise. Women’s bodies, meanwhile, actually go into a sort of starvation mode, slowing the metabolism to hang onto more fat.”

          O: Agreed

          “4-Women may have a lower tolerance for exercise. Women have smaller lung capacity than men, which can make women feel as though they are working harder than men even if the women are working at the same level. This can also make exercise feel harder in the heat or high humidity.”

          O: Hence the creation of temperature-controlled workout environments and all-Women gyms. Interventions like these and others have removed or greatly mitigated the problems Women may encounter when it comes to exercise and the like. Mo’Nique, recently lost more than 80 pounds. We all know the story of Ms. Jennifer Hudson. Simply put, there is NO excuse as to why Women, Black Women especially, cannot lose weight in our time.

          NONE.

          O.

          • http://twitter.com/inomallday Shamira

            There’s no excuse? So….we’re not gonna talk about who the two black women you used as an example have the money to make the lifestyle changes they need? *snorts* okay, O.

            • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

              @Ms. Shamira:
              “There’s no excuse? So….we’re not gonna talk about who the two black women you used as an example have the money to make the lifestyle changes they need? *snorts* okay, O.”

              O: Ms. Hudson used Weight Watchers; Ms. Mo’Nique hit the gym. Doesn’t appear to be anythin beyond the reach of the average Black Woman today…

              O.

              • http://twitter.com/inomallday Shamira

                A weight watchers membership is quite expensive. You have to pay for every single meal outside of the membership, plus, many neighborhoods don’t even have accessible locations for the required group meetings. Also, Weight Watchers is not eternally sustainable. You have to get off of those meals at some point….and then what?

                Mo’Nique and J Hud also both had personal trainers and nutritionists, which most people cannot afford.

                And are you just going to gloss over the fact that both of them claimed to be comfortable with their size when they were just starting out, and started making serious changes once they got into acclaim/money? We’re going to pretend that it didn’t play a factor?

                Please do not act like there aren’t various barriers to entry to a lifestyle change. Yes, it CAN be done. But it is not easy or simple if you are on a budget. If it was, there would not be “this is how I did it!” stories. As long as soda is cheaper than water you’re not going to have a convincing argument, and I know that you are smarter than that O :-D

                And before you assume I’m projecting, I’m actually a rather healthy size six who’s been an athlete all my life (enough people on here have met me in real life to confirm as such ;-) )

        • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

          @Ms. Yoles:

          “oxytocin isn’t even measured “in excess” you are either flooded or you are not… it wrecks havoc and is out of your control with no treatment in sight.”

          O: I didn’t know having a “rush of Oxytocin” was a problem that needed to be solved…nevertheless, my point was that in the minds of at least some pundits and the like, a great many of our problems in the world today is attributable to an overdose of T, not Oxytocin…

          “as far as i know from education and working in a hospital the reasons for excess testosterone are:
          steroid abuse & certain illnesses that are treatable not just oh i climaxed-FLOOD, oh i breast fed-FLOOD oh i had a baby-FLOOD”

          O: IF that is the case, then the solution to “Oxytocin overdose” is also treatable:

          1. Don’t have s8x
          2. Don’t breastfeed
          3. Don’t have babies.

          Problem. Solved.

          :)

          O.

          • camilleblu

            O: IF that is the case, then the solution to “Oxytocin overdose” is also treatable:

            1. Don’t have s8x
            2. Don’t breastfeed
            3. Don’t have babies.

            Problem. Solved.

            i see…you’re trying to thin out the population as well???

            • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

              @Ms. CamilleBlue:
              “i see…you’re trying to thin out the population as well???”

              O: Not at all – though I think your query might be better put to Ms. Yoles, since she has the concerns I’ve addressed above…

              O.

          • Yoles

            i don’t like that men are not flooded with oxytocin… it appears that you do not get the main idea of today’s post… oxytocin is not out here driving men crazy and getting them all caught up and acting stupid… that is all i am saying…

            im not looking for an Obie solution

            • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

              @Ms. Yoles:
              “i don’t like that men are not flooded with oxytocin… it appears that you do not get the main idea of today’s post… oxytocin is not out here driving men crazy and getting them all caught up and acting stupid… that is all i am saying…”

              O: Noted; however, and as you rightly suggest, it IS possible that an overabundance of Oxytocin *could* have deleterious effects…

              “im not looking for an Obie solution”

              O: Perhaps not; but that does not then mean that an “Obie solution” would not work, my dear…

              O.

      • SweetSass

        Al Roker and Christie are fat because they eat too much and don’t exercise.

        But it is scientifically proven that men’s testosterone aids in muscle mass and muscle mass burns fat faster. Hence men tend to lose weight quicker. They can also eat more calories and still lose weight relative to women.

        That is why you see on the Biggest Loser these obese men put up HUGE number of weight loss in the first several weeks because once they even start working out the weight melts off while the female contestants struggle the whole way.

        • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

          @Ms. SweetSass:
          “Al Roker and Christie are fat because they eat too much and don’t exercise.”

          O: And, how do you know this? According to an interview I heard with Al Roker about a month or so back, he was heavy going all the way back to his grade school days. He has always struggled with his weight, and he’s not alone – former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee is another example. None of this is to excuse the weight issue, just to question your assertion above.

          Moreover, couldn’t we same the same thing of and about Women – in this case in particular, Black Women? Isn’t it true that they eat just as much, if not moreso, than anyone else?

          “But it is scientifically proven that men’s testosterone aids in muscle mass and muscle mass burns fat faster. Hence men tend to lose weight quicker. They can also eat more calories and still lose weight relative to women.”

          O: I have never denied this.

          “That is why you see on the Biggest Loser these obese men put up HUGE number of weight loss in the first several weeks because once they even start working out the weight melts off while the female contestants struggle the whole way.”

          O: I’ve heard of the show but have yet to watch it, but again, I don’t disagree with what you’ve said; only saying that in this day and age where interventions that are available to assist Women abound, there is simply no excuse for a Woman being obese.

          NONE.

          As I’ve previously said…

          O.

    • http://missrosen.wordpress.com esa

      ~ its easier to lose weight

      lovely lady the trick to losing weight is to fast. it’s horribly unpleasant but once you get past the first two or three days, starvation is such a highh ~*~ it’s kinda addictive too

      • amber

        But it’s not that healthy over a long period of time and people usually gain the weight back quickly. Losing weight is a total healthy lifestyle change. Patience and will power are lasting.

        • http://missrosen.wordpress.com esa

          with all due respect, its very healthy to fast. i’ve researched this heavily but i’ll spare everyone my obsessions ~*~

          when you do it properly, you change you diet when you return to eating. so if people are gaining the weight back, it is possible they may not have been about healthy living in the first place.

          as to starvation, i’m being a lil cheeky ~*~

          • amber

            I agree with you here. I fast as well but it’s more about spirituality for me. I think wheni initially read your comment my mind went to people doing something for a quick weightloss tactic.

          • Asiyah

            I fast and it’s awesome! And my health has never been better!

            I fast again starting July 10th. Can’t wait.

      • IcePrincess

        Wait….what??

    • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com Val

      You’re not kidding about child support laws, Yolie. Some of them are amazingly unfair and overbearing.

      • Sahel

        Then why do soooooo many women choose to screw a man over using said laws. Why cant they be reasonable

        • camilleblu

          b/c you’re likely dealing with a scorned women that is looking for any way to “make you pay” for causing (in her mind) said scorn….for the record, i DETEST any parent that does this…it’s just ridiculous and counter-productive all the way around…

          • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

            Plus, once a woman sues for child support anything that the court decides is out of her control.

            • Yoles

              this is a major problem… just like calling the police once the ball starts rolling the decisions are not yours to make…

              • mena

                Yep.

          • Rewind

            Which is silly because she ultimately screws herself, but then again, if a woman goes through that length, she aint the sharpest knife in the draw to begin with.

            • Todd

              Exactly! Don’t pull out a gun if you don’t intend to use it. Otherwise, things get out of hand in a hurry.

        • Asiyah

          or maybe the woman has tried to be reasonable and the man hasn’t responded to that. it really depends on the situation and the people involved.

          • au napptural

            Agreed. And the men in question could’ve kept their legs closed. Honestly, what if it was AIDS you got, not a baby. No court can absolve you of that.

            • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

              @Ms. Au Napptural:
              No, but the courts can most definitely hold you liable for giving someone HIV.

              The sensible solution to these problems is…wait for it…

              Roe. For. Men.

              Simple.

              :)

              O.

      • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

        Yeah if she (Yolie Polie) added alimony on there too she would’ve won today’s comment section.

    • Asiyah

      “men that actually don’t like women and have some kind of huge chip on their shoulders & think women have caused every bad thing to ever had happened. sorry fellas women can not be blamed for global warming, tax hikes, decline of the quality of american products, owing china all our money etc…”

      This is totally Obsidian right there. I don’t believe in shading. You can call me sunshine.

      • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

        @Ms. Asyiah:
        “This is totally Obsidian right there. I don’t believe in shading. You can call me sunshine.”

        O: Oh please, don’t be silly; I’ve never blamed all the world’s ills, or even most of them, on Women.

        Whew…

        O.

        • Asiyah

          That’s only because you haven’t found the stats to prove it lol