Lists, Theory & Essay

Things I Don’t Care About In My Relationship

I'm not saying that I own this outfit, but it's possible that I own this outfit.

If over the course of your life you don’t learn anything from your relationships then you’re doing it wrong. And as much as you’re learning how to deal with other people, you really should be learning as much about yourself. That’s not just romantic relationships either. Hell, I’ve learned about how I feel towards insects from some of the relationships that were forged in my younger days in certain apartments I’ve lived in.

Yes, I learned that for the most part, if the roaches just stayed out of the way in the daytime, they could own the night more than Joaquin Phoenix. See? Learning.

Like most people, I spent a lot of time being told what was important in relationships with women and things that should matter. And also like most people, I was never told why certain things should matter, but just that it does. It’s like in pimpin…as a square, I can’t be made to understand why being a pimp makes sense and that women don’t get a single, solitary percent of their earnings, to a pimp, that just make sense and as a square, I’m not supposed to understand it.

Bad analogy? Possibly. However do you know what I just did? Saved 15 percent by switching my car insurance to GEICO. True story.

By the way, all pimp documentaries are simultaneously the most disturbing, ridiculous, and entertaining pieces of cinema ever. Oh…AT THE SAME DAMN TIME. It’s fascinating because it’s hard to believe that people actually live that life on purpose and believe that it’s okay.

Back to the lecture at hand…again, I have discovered things about myself that don’t matter to me one way or another in a relationship. So I figured that I’d share with you all.

(By the way, for anybody fascinated with public housing and housing policy in America – as I am – peep The Pruitt-Igoe Myth on Netflix.)

1. My woman ever fixing me a plate

While I appreciate the gesture, I don’t know that I’d ever get my boxer-briefs into a bunch because I was dating a woman who never did this for me. I had a homeboy once tell me that if your woman never fixes your plate she doesn’t care about you. I also watched The Brothers and saw a bunch of wayward women determine that if a man doesn’t give you his last bite of food he doesn’t love you. The lesson here? People have really dumb theories and you really shouldn’t trust any movie where Clifton Powell and Gabrielle Union dated. Or advice in any movie starring Clifton Powell, the patron saint of Bad Black Movies. Really, the man’s a legend in that regard now.

2. If my woman likes being in the club

Not that controversial I know, but I do know some dudes who have made it very clear that they want their women at home all the time…while they are free to go to the club. I kind of wish that some folks would listen to themselves when they talked. If I could teach the world to be a thug in harmony, that would be one of my commandments. Point is, if my lady wants to go to the club and party, do it boo. Plus, that way I can keep up with all the latest in pr0n without feeling icky and slamming the laptop closed whenever I hear footsteps. Perhaps I should take my own advice and read that last sentence outloud. Mmhmm.

3. If my girl has male friends

Yeah, I know. Folks swear that men and women can’t be friends. I don’t intend to argue this. There’s really no point anymore. I’m both a living testament to the fact that a man can have female friends and that a man can’t have female friends. I’m both ironic and a paradox. I’m also a firestarter, and if you ask quietly…I’m Batman. Point here is, I don’t care if my woman has male friends. I only care if she feels like I can’t have women friends. Then Houston, we’ve got a problem.

4. Kind of in the vein of #2, I also don’t care if my significant other stays out late and parties

Unless of course she were to make it a habit and neglect her responsibilities at home. Then again, if she ain’t my wife does she even have responsibilities at home? I don’t know. I’ve confused myself. But sometimes I stay out late. Sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I feel like a nut. Sometimes I don’t. Then again, if she’s always doing #2 with #3 resulting in #4, then perhaps I need to get rid of her anyway. Either that or she’s got a job she isn’t telling me about and has a stage name…like Sparkle. That totally comes out on Friday.

5. I don’t care if my woman can’t wash clothes or isn’t a great cleaner

I’m kind of OCD about my clothes anyway so I’ll do all the washing of my unmentionables. And because of that little OCD thing, I’ll likely go back over whatever she attempted to clean anyway just to make sure its, ya know, clean. So if she’s not so bueno at cleaning it won’t matter because everything will likely be spic and span anyway. My name is Panama and I have a problem. But it’s a good problem because at least everything is clean while we discuss what’s wrong with me. Win? Win. Yes lawd.

Those are a few things that don’t really matter to me in a relationship. What about you? Ladies and gentlemen, are there any things that were told you’re supposed to care about but you really don’t?  Sharing is caring now.

Talk to me. Petey.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. CLEAN AIN’T GOT NOTHIN’ ON ME aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

Laaaaaaaaadies and gentlemen, tune in to http://blisonline.streamon.fm/ tonight from 8-10 for The Blaqout Show. Join hosts Beny Blaq and Komplex as they navigate the musings of Panama Jackson, Sir Malik Husser, Angel Elliott, and the fellas from Prepster Punk talking about just all kinds of random sh*t but littered with edutainment through and through. Plus we’ve got interviews with Estelle and Brandon T. Jackson on tonight’s show. It’s jam packed. Check the technique. And peep the video below to see what you’re getting into!

www.blis.fm/theblaqoutshow Every Wednesday from 8-10pm and peep the tumblr: http://blaqoutshow.tumblr.com

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Damon Young

Panama Jackson is pretty fly for a light guy. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. He believes the children are our future and is waiting to find out if he is the 2nd most interesting man in the world.

  • Inqueerie

    First? What?

    • Inqueerie

      So, after ^THAT^ shocker, things I don’t care about include:

      1. That my partner pulls out their wallet to offer to pay EVERY time. If I know I got it, and I don’t mind paying, why do I need to be all shocked that they didn’t pull it out? First date, maybe. But 5th and 6th, it’s ok.

      2. That they plan something huge and elaborate for me on my birthday, EVERY single birthday. Some grown people just act like dayum fools about their birthday. I’m sorry, if you are over 40 years old, why are you still trippin about gettin your mention, and your cake, and a special song from the DJ, and a free drink from everyone in your party during the Scorpio birthdays at the club. That’s ghetto, that’s childish, you make me sick. Grow up!

      3. That close the door to the bathroom when using it. Just doesn’t bother me.

      Lemme think of what else.

      • YeahSo

        #1Girl what?!!?! Noooooooo… you have got to STOP saying stuff like that out loud.

      • PurpleView

        I was with you until #3. Umm…ill.

  • https://twitter.com/cnote220 Cheech

    In a similar vein to the club thing, I really wouldn’t care if my girl dances with other people in the club as long as she knows I’m the one she is rolling with at the end of the night. She can have a girl’s night whenever she wants

  • http://panamaenrique.wordpress.com Malik

    If she shares my tastes. Even among the niche things I do like they are pretty niche within that community. There’s a difference from tastes and interests though. Like you ain’t gotta be a Jets fan, but you can’t HATE football.

    Don’t care what my partner wears or how they dress anywhere.

    Doing things she considers fun the majority of time.

    • http://twitter.com/think2inspire Think2Inspire

      I feel ya Malik in most cases but one. In my opinion futbol is the realest sport on the globe. I have much respect for sports lovers but a special place in my heart goes to fans of thr beautiful game. Don’t care if my guy hates soccer but if he thinks Argentina is better than Brazil them it is game over for our relationship.

      • http://panamaenrique.wordpress.com Malik

        The beautiful game >>>>>

      • DB

        So you would not date Lionel Messi (assuming he was single)?

      • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

        “Don’t care if my guy hates soccer but if he thinks Argentina is better than Brazil them it is game over for our relationship.”

        Brazil isn’t looking too good these days. Lost at the Olympics and at the World Cup. Argentina made it further. Brazil is slipping.

        • Pseudonym

          True.

          The decline of the Brazilian futbol empire has been painful to watch, but it is definitely happening.
          and Messi is a beast.

          Hopefully, hosting the next World Cup will put some spark back in those Brazilian cleats.

    • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com Tristan

      I care what she wears outside…i dont mind skin showing but if she rocks pajamas n j’s outsde like everyone dont know she my girl we got a problem

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        LMAO.

        can’t be bringing down your value, eh?

      • Rewind

        Word, there’s no reason for her to go out in Spongebob pajama pants and fuzzy slippers with hair curlers in the hair because she wanted some Popeyes and just didn’t feel like cleaning up. This aint a damn college campus. This is LIFE.

    • http://fourpageletter.wordpress.com keisha brown

      true story i dated a dude who was meh about football.
      i knew we were doomed from that point on.

  • BisforBrittani

    -Going to a strip club because id be there too or waiting for him to get home to finish wait she started
    -spending the whole sunday watching football cause id be watching too (football=greatest thing ever)
    -going out with his friends, im not going to call because id be too busy doing something with my friends/enjoying some me time
    -taking out the trash, ive done it before, as long as it gets taken out is all that matters
    -that whole toilet seat thing, i always look before i sit so im good lol

    • http://fourpageletter.wordpress.com keisha brown

      me and Brittani are >><< on numba two!!!
      i hate tvshows/movies/commercials/ads that STILL show a woman getting upset over the man watching football/ignoring her during superbowl. NFL's OWN stats say 45% of their fanbase is women!

      http://runway.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/08/13/the-n-f-l-markets-to-fashion-fans/?smid=tw-nytimesfashion&seid=auto

      get. with. the. movement peoples!!!

      • BeautifullyHuman

        I love football, too. I try to catch most of the games where you don’t need a premium cable package…lol

    • The Law

      *Swoons* So, um, you single?

  • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

    1. Swallowing.

    Didn’t think this was a big deal to some men, but I’ve been debates with at least two friends who insisted that they’d never marry a woman who didn’t swallow. Personally, I think swallowing can be a nice touch — it reduces mess and ups your girl’s protein intake (you end up saving money cause you won’t have to buy eggs anymore) — but largely unnecessary. Basically, “swallowing” = “scented hand towels”

    2. Other men hitting on my woman

    As long as it’s not my dad, I don’t give a f*ck. I never understood why men (and women) get upset by this. I mean, who wants to be with someone that nobody else wants to holler at?

    3. If she’s a great cook

    Again, this is something that’s a bonus, but not a requirement. If I’m into you and you can’t make Cheerios without burning them, I’ll still bring you to the family cookout and won’t even remove the tags when you tag me on Facebook.

    4. If she’s waaaaay more educated than I am

    I kind of already think I’m smarter than everyone anyway, so even though I’m aware that the presence of PhDs, MDs, MBAs, and JDs bother some men, I say bring it on. You still won’t beat me at Scrabble.

    5. If she spends a ton of time with her girlfriends

    Actually, a woman not having any girlfriends is a huge red flag for me. I just can’t see “You just went to brunch with them last weekend!!! Why can’t you stay home with me today and watch old episodes of “Louie”???” ever coming out of my mouth.

    • eye(c)ande

      3. If she’s a great cook

      Again, this is something that’s a bonus, but not a requirement. If I’m into you and you can’t make Cheerios without burning them, I’ll still bring you to the family cookout and won’t even remove the tags when you tag me on Facebook.

      Thank you! I really get to knee-slappin and cracking up when some dudes tell me no dude’s ever gonna marry me because I don’t like to cook. I quickly let them know how many dudes this is not a deal breaker for and especially about the ones who would rather do the cooking themselves. If he cooks and I clean, that’s a fine arrangement for moi (but apparently not exactly for Panama’s ol’ OCD lookin…haha).

      • Chanelle

        lol the problem is everybody thinks their deal breakers are everybody elses deal breakers.

        • http://wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

          This annoys the grits out of me. Especially when men do it. You’re never gonna get a man if you do or don’t do x thing. That’s such a load of …..I think its a sign of mental disability when people think everybody thinks like them. Need to apply for a handicapped parking permit.

    • That Ugly Kid

      “Other men hitting on my woman”

      This really bothers some guys though. Like my friend who can get ANY girl he wants. I mean, this dude smashes a different chick every day of the week. Literally. The problem? They’re all…facially disheartening. He purposely chooses ugly women because he knows pretty girls get a ton of attention, which to him, increases the chances of the chick ditching him. He likes women no one else wants, that way the chances of her bouncing on him are slim.

      • http://challyshares.tumblr.com Nei Jae

        That a pretty sad outlook to have on the dating/relationship tip. He’s basically settling. Not that there is anything wrong with, how did you put it, facially disheartening people, but if you’re only dating someone because you think that’s the only type of person you can trust to not stray, that’s sad. And wrong. Wrong because “facially disheartening” people get hit on and cheat, too.

      • hehe

        He sound super immature and insecure. Poor soul.

        • http://fourpageletter.wordpress.com keisha brown

          poor unfortunate soul.
          #disneyswag

          • mellow.

            yassss @KB the little mermaid is greatness

            • http://fourpageletter.wordpress.com keisha brown

              if cheekie weren’t off frolicking – she woulda done the same.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        that dude needs help. in the most serious possible. he’s got some issues he needs to address in life.

        • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

          Yes he does! I’ll give him my shrink’s digits.

    • Andrea

      Swallowing isn’t that important……… And You can burn cheerios.

      “If you’re really a prince, I’ll marry you”

    • Rich

      I co-sign on 1,3,4 and 5…but #2 is no bueno….I can’t help it, it’s the Jamaican and Nigerian blood in me, and my ego is a mutha….

      • PurpleView

        Really? #2? But that is totally out of their control. I would pay more attention to how the person I’m with handles it. Do they keep their cool? Do they acknowledge that you are standing beside them ,or do they let the attention only feed their ego? Are they nice or mean to the “facially underprivileged” ( or however TUK put it)?

    • SweetSass

      I am sure I could kick your azz in Scrabble. Last guy to challenge me lost by 200 points. Beat his arse with two fifty point words.

      • http://challyshares.tumblr.com Nei Jae

        I lost a associate over Scrabble. Shorty went ham then got ghost after I played outfawns for 203 points (which by the way is my current highest word score. i have screenshots. lol)

        Ah well, good riddance.

        • http://challyshares.tumblr.com Nei Jae

          *an associate

  • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

    I can’t get with your number 2. There’s always the danger of being on the wrong side of Biggie’s line: “…sexing me while your man masturbate”. I can’t be at home watching porn while my woman is at the club looking her best and being approached by random dude after random dude as her judgement gets progressively weaker with every cocktail. Every now and then cool; but it just can’t be healthy for that to be a regular thing.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      perhaps not, but you also dont sound like you’d trust your girl to be out with out either.

  • Loving Me

    Things I don’t care about:

    1. Whether my man calls to check in with me…. cause chances are I’m not going to call to check in with him. Unless I’m bored, or up to no good. Check in calls are just calling in advance so you don’t interrupt my debauchery later

    2. How much money he makes…. why? Cause I make my own and live in a reality where the world doesn’t resolve around how much the man I’m with is able and willing to spend on me. As long as we can pay our bills and have a little fun I’m good

    3. Facebook relationship announcements… I’d rather everyone not know the daily status of my relationship so if you want to stay “single” on your profile, great cause best believe I am until I have a ring on my finger. Don’t take it personal, just don’t let that carry into our real life at home

    • Loving Me

      But I will not budge or even consider a man in skinny jeans, hair longer than my own, chest hair that can be braided and/or dreaded, or numerous baby mamas that he refers to as baby mamas

    • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

      3. TRUTH!

      Me and my ex decided not to change ours just because we didn’t want people in our business, and it felt stupid and teenagey to have our breakup posted on FB.

      • Loving Me

        True story, I have a friend right now who has changed her relationship status and relationship person so many times in the last year that when she announced that she was married I waited til the wedding pics were posted to even offer my congratulations. There’s no reason for a grown person to put that much info on the web. My status has been single for 5 years

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          ain’t much of a friend if you ain’t make the wedding invite list.

          *shots fired*

          lol. them’s jokes.

          • Loving Me

            It was a justice of the peace wedding, nobody made the wedding invite list lol but truth be told I wouldn’t have flown out even if she had a big wedding. I do weddings like I do funerals, only if I have to and only for people I consider family

        • nolagurl

          you can leave the whole field blank, not single, not complicated, not married not divorced not anything, leave it be! then there is never anything to change, people who need to know will know, the rest, just being nosey.

  • nillalatte

    Things I don’t care about in a relationship:

    Massages: I appreciate them if they’re offering because I do enjoy them (when done properly) because they can truly relax you… a lot. But, if a dude ain’t up to a good massage that’s okay too.

    Cooking: Okay, not really because I like a man that can cook, but it’s not a deal breaker because I don’t mind cooking a mean at home and spending the evening in. Nope, I don’t mind that at.all. ;)

    Clean car (outside): I don’t want to get in a car that looks like it’s been in a mud fest, but if your car is a bit dusty and you can’t yet write your name in the dirt, I’m okay. I am not going to clown you for a bit of a dirty car. Now, if that shyt gets any thicker, then yeah, I might just have to write “wash me” somewhere on the car to give you a hint.

    • nillalatte

      cooking a mean? LOL… *cooking a meal

    • That Ugly Kid

      “Massages: I appreciate them if they’re offering because I do enjoy them (when done properly) because they can truly relax you… a lot. But, if a dude ain’t up to a good massage that’s okay too.”

      How DO you properly massage though? Women LOVE my massages, but I have literally no clue what the f*ck I’m doing. Every single time. I just place my hands on her shoulders and start doing random sh!t with my hands, next thing you know I’m being held hostage by the woman and her friends because ALL these scalleywags want a gotdamn massage.

      • nillalatte

        LOL… TUK just light touching can feel nice, but so can a really nice, firm massage. It’s fine to start at the shoulders & work the neck & head (if they let u mess w/their hair) then going down the back. But it’s also nice to massage the feet because of all the nerve endings there & then work ur way up to the calves & thighs, pulling the muscles downwards. You can also massage across the muscles to relax them, then pull downwards. OMG, this dude I used to see was a massage therapist & he had a touch few men do. He would massage me for over an hour. I was putty afterwards. But sore as hell the next day! LOL

        • Fiveisthenumber

          I just got moist reading that.

          • Breezy

            We were told by TES that “moist” is a bad word. Please stop using it.

            Thanks…lol

            • Fiveisthenumber

              Damn that. I got moist! Lol!

              • nillalatte

                Think about actually getting the massage. There was literally no muscle left untouched. ;) *blushes*

          • http://fourpageletter.wordpress.com keisha brown

            LOL

  • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

    Ok, so this is waaay off topic but there was a post about him so here goes: Is anyone else stuck on the new Frank Ocean like I am?? Channel Orange = Instant Classic. I have been completely unable to listen to ANYTHING else since I caught wind of it. Already one of my favorite R&B albums EVER.

    • Loving Me

      I can’t speak for others but I barely made it through a full listen without vowing that it was the most over rated piece of crap album since J. Lo’s greatest hits, but I’m not a Frank Ocean fan at all

      • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

        Can’t speak for why you don’t like it but I think that there is still some resistance to more abstract and artistic R&B. Frank Ocean and The Weeknd are the frontrunners in this trend. Traditionally R&B has been straightforward and literal. I see it as a maturation. We’ve all been tired for sooooo long of R&B being basically the same thing that its been since its inception. Most complaints that I’ve heard go something like: “I don’t know WTF he talking about?? I thought these were supposed to be love songs”

        • Loving Me

          I love the Weeknd though I just can’t get into Frank. Everything about him from his voice, his words, his music just sets off some kind of feeling in me that isn’t good. It may not be off his talent because I admit he’s talented, he just doesn’t inspire me to try

          • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

            They say that you can’t like both. Its a one or the other thing because they’re so similar. I say pshaw to all that. I dig them both. I’m still waiting for The Weeknd to strike gold again to prove to me that House of Balloons wasn’t a fluke though.

            • Sweet GA Brown

              Hey I like that song.

          • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com Tristan

            i cant with the weeknd give a few tracks im just not a big fan, i can rock with frank he’s the better songwriter and doesnt get lost in his instrumentals like weeknd does

        • Sweet GA Brown

          When i listen to Frank Ocean on Pandora I think of him as accomplishing what the Dream was aiming for but was unable to do. I can tell Frank Ocean is influenced by Prince and some other artist but where The Dream took some Prince hits to heart and flipped them, Frank Ocean’s music is an original growth from being inspired by Prince’s musical imprint. I can listen to his music all day. It just flows…

          • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com Tristan

            I actually like The-Dream even tho like you said he lacks the talent to actually pull off the prince angle he’s going for. however all 3 albums were pretty solid

        • Pseudonym

          So, I downloaded their albums (for free) from their site today.
          (1) I love House of Balloons
          (2) FYI, they’re on a country-wide tour in the US this September.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      I just wrote an article about “Bad Religion” for Ebony (Hasn’t published yet, though). I do not love the album — I think it’s the type of album that people will rush to overpraise — but I think that’s one of the best songs I’ve ever heard. It’s rare that you listen to a song and think “Damn. That song wasn’t long enough.” But, “Bad Religion” inspires that

      • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

        Pyramids… Pink Matter… Thinking About You….Sierra Leone. I’m not crazy about Bad Religion. I like it but I don’t feel it as much as those listed above.

        • http://fourpageletter.wordpress.com keisha brown

          JAY!!
          me and you are HERE on FO’s CO.
          i haven’t listened to much else since i purchased (!!) on itunes.
          while i understand by loving it makes me a sheep falling for the overhypeness…to me it’s just beautiful. it’s what i want music to be. i listen to it instead of complaining about other music that frankly i don’t even bother to giving a chance.

          thinking about you is my fave only cuz its reminds me of my ex.
          bad religion is hauntingly beautiful, pink matter & pyramids is awesome.

          if i wasn’t at work..i’d play it right now!

          ps: i still need to get the new nas. heard it too is worth the purchase.

      • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

        And Nas is back. Like BACK BACK.

      • Manny

        I love Bad Religion, it was most like his old songs. Just Melanchol soul.

    • http://panamaenrique.wordpress.com Malik

      Eh, Lianne La Havas’ Is Your Love Big Enough? is still my album of the year thus far. BadBadNotGood – BBNG2 and blu – ucla coming in tied for a close 2nd.

      • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

        The only song I heard from Lianne La Havas is “Tease Me”. Saw the video and was smitten. I’m gonna get her whole joint now.

    • That Ugly Kid

      I’m with you. I love that album. One of the best RnB projects I’ve heard in a LONG time. It’s up there with The Weeknd’s House of Balloons. Now THAT is in my Top 10 RnB albums (yes I know it’s a mixtape) of all time. Maybe even Top 5. Channel Orange is definitely in my Top 10 though.

      • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

        I feel you on House of Balloons. Its among the top 3 mixtapes to come out last year. But he had a SHARP drop off after that. The other 2 mixtapes were garbage and I tried REALLLLLY hard to like them because I was feeling HOB so much. The only song I like from the other 2 mixtapes is “The Zone” and that’s because Drake murdered the verse. Sh*t I still go back and give them a listen to see if I missed something. Nope, they’re a$$. I’m still checking for Tesfaye though. Frank Ocean is killing it right now though.

        • That Ugly Kid

          I agree on Thursday. But Echoes of Silence was awesome to me. Especially Montreal and XO/The Host. Not on HOB’s level but still waay better than Thursday as the only two good songs were “The Zone” and “Life Of The Party”.

          • http://www.twitter.com/AbRock3000 bmoreCreative

            totally cosign!
            HoB is the strongest (straight banger all the way thru), Thursday was okay ( “Zone” and “Rolling Stone” are standouts to me), but Echoes of Silence has surprisingly held up (it grew on me). “Next”, the afore mentioned “XO/Host”, “Initiation” (brilliant song..would love a video for it!), “the Fall” and the hauntingly beautiful “Echoes of Silence”.

            I really like though, how the mix-tapes function as a body of work to tell a complete story, painting a full picture of the Weeknd experience…..I swear them joints feel like a watching a art house movie series, similar to Krzysztof Kieslowski’s “Three Colors” trilogy (“blue”, “white”and “red”).

            While I dig Frank Ocean too….I definitely see most folks falling into a either or type of scenario with both artists…ala Prince and MJ.

        • http://theothersideofphlyy.blogspot.com Phlyy Girl

          House of Balloons is DEFINITELY my favorite out of the trilogy, but Echoes of Silence touches me in a special way as well. I think Thursday was a solid effort for him, but I just never got into it like that except for the Zone and Gone. I love each and every song on HOB and my personal favorite is “Fall” on EOS. I do however want Abel to work on his live performances…THAT Shite is something terrible.
          And I think that is why I prefer Frank (only slightly because I love them both) over the Weeknd.
          As far as the album, I love it. I think it does help if you listen to it in sequential order, because I DID hear a story when I listened to it that way. Sweet Life, including the Not Just Money interlude to Super Rich Kids (one of my faves) starts off the story and then it goes into the downfall with Pilot Jones, Crack Rock and Pyramids. And Bad Religion…well, I have to find an alone room every time that comes on. And I usually have to stay in that alone room for about 45 minutes with the song on repeat. It’s sad.

          • http://theothersideofphlyy.blogspot.com Phlyy Girl

            WHYYYYYY do I ALWAYS end up in moderation???? Can I get a VSB handbook, or posting guide or SOMETHING? Cause really, me no understand WHYYYYYYYYY *Nancy Kerrigan face*

      • MJoy

        HOUSE OF BALLOONS ALL DAY!!!!!!!!!

        I really like “outside” tho… but I can’t remember which tape that’s from. Echoes maybe?

    • JackieofallTrades (@MzPK7)

      Been listening to it non-stop since I bought it. Not in love with every song but the ones I do love I can’t get enough of. I’ve listened to it enough that some of the songs I initially didn’t care for have started to grow on me ( ie. Forrest Gump, Crack Rock). I think it’s a great album overall. It’s very different..like weird in a good way. Favorite songs: #1 Pink Matter, #2 Thinking Bout You, #3 Tie between Pilot Jones and Pyramids

      SN: Pink Matter could easily be on the soundtrack to Idlewild.

      • Manny

        I’ve finally stopped skipping Crack Rock when I listen. But Pink Matter…I didn’t like Andre 3000′s verse.

    • Manny

      The album is VERY good, and I saw him in concert too. Unfortunately he got sick and cancelled all his other dates. I will say I didn’t like it at first because it’s SO different from Nostalgia Ultra. I love the slow songs, the dance ones: Monks/Pyramids, and my favorite is Forrest Gump. Like you said below, alot of the time I don’t know what he’s talking about. But I Don’t Care becuase it sounds good.

    • Manny

      The album is VERY good, and I saw him in concert too. Unfortunately he got sick and cancelled all his other dates. I will say I didn’t like it at first because it’s SO different from Nostalgia Ultra. I love the slow songs, the dance ones: Monks/Pyramids, and my favorite is Forrest Gump. Like you said below, alot of the time I don’t know what he’s talking about. But I Don’t Care becuase it sounds good.

    • LeonieUK

      Three of my brothers had a long discussion about the album, track for track and labeled it a classic. I guess I’ll get onto it once the hype dies dow. Plus he just cancelled his European tour ;-(

    • Lou

      I feel the same way but I always skip over “crack rock”, the chorus gets kind of annoying. But everything else is flawless. When I first heard “pyramids” my heart dropped but Andre stole my heart again on “pink matter” and “Sierra Leone” gets my day started, and don’t you even get me started on “super rich kids” I’m running on now, its a great album. Everybody Buy this….NOW.

      • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com Tristan

        I too grew tired of hearing craaaaaaack roooooock after a while. i didnt like pyramids when it first leaked but it fits so perfectly in the context of the album…bad religion and pink matter >>>>

        • BeautifullyHuman

          Crack Rock is my favorite joint off the whole album…lol. I see peeps ain’t really feeling it.

      • http://fourpageletter.wordpress.com keisha brown

        YASS!!
        how could i forget about super rich kids!!!!

    • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

      Agreed. I’m not into R&B like that, but he put his foot in that one.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      I listened to it once and was over it. But I can honestly say that I didn’t love Nostalgia, Ultra as much as everybody else either. But no, I don’t think it’s an instant classic and no, I’m not stuck on it.

  • That Ugly Kid

    I used to be that guy in #2. Used to be. But most women don’t know how to act in those settings. So now I’m not. I’ve never been to a club. Especially in a relationship. I don’t get how it’s okay for you to grind on some random dude, him touching you an whatnot, yet I’m a dog if I so much as look at another woman. That’s fair. Do I forbid my girl to go to clubs? Nope. Have your fun. Just know that I’m kinda insecure. I’m young. I’ve been hurt alot. Sue me. So if you do go to the club. Depending on how long we’ve been together, I’m going to assume you cheated and carry on with the relationship from there.

    6. Gifts/Valentine’s Day – I know I’m supposed to care. But I really don’t. I don’t like receiving gifts on any day. I also hate V-Day. But I still get my girl something, though! Because rules dictate I go all out and be Mr. Romance while you reward me with the same vag I literally just got an hour ago back at the movie theatre. TUK, meet short end of the stick. You two get real acquainted.

    • Loving Me

      I think the club thing is largely based on the type of woman/man you are with. In general I could care less if the man I’m with is at a club without me and likewise I’m apt to do the same at some point but it shouldn’t be an every weekend thing when you are in a relationship and you have to establish trust. Any guy who dates me knows that you’re not going to catch me grinding on some random dude period, especially not in a hot crowded sweaty club. Single or not, that’s never been my thing, no judgement for those who like it. But I could care less about who you dance with at the club as long as you have sense enough not to take it further. And if you do and I find out, well then it’s over, lesson learned and I’ll take my interests elsewhere

    • https://twitter.com/cnote220 Cheech

      Does any guy really give a damn about valentine’s Day unless they are with a girl?

      • Loving Me

        Yes, I’ve had men get really upset for failure to offer more than a Happy Valentine’s Day and a card. Same with Sweetest Day (for those of you in the region that celebrates it). Me? I could care less, just don’t miss my birthday, Christmas, Thanksgiving and any and all summer barbecuing holidays

        • That Ugly Kid

          Sweetest Day? Ugh. I hate that too. Mainly because it’s not needed. It’s supposed to be the men’s version of V-Day, right? Why is it necessary though? I could’ve sworn V-Day was initially about COUPLES. Then over time it morphed into the hideous creature it is today. So much so that a Sweetest Day needed to be invented. You can miss me with all that. I’m affectionate around the clock. Although sometimes during love making, I say f*ck affection…then it’s *in my John Witherspoon voice* Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!!!!

          • Loving Me

            Lol I’ve never got the hype of either. Plus I know women with some of the most trifling men on the planet who claim he’s a good man cause he remembers to show up 1 day out the year with a bunch of flowers and balloons. I’m good on all that

        • https://twitter.com/cnote220 Cheech

          See I have never heard of Sweetest Day…I just hear that March 14th is S&B day and I never celebrate it. But I’ve never known a dude personally who got pissy because they never got a v-day card

        • Beautifullyhuman

          Can someone explain to me what “Sweetest Day” is and what region it’s associated with? I’ve never heard of it.

          • Loving Me

            It’s in October, and it’s just like Valentine’s Day, without a Saint attached to make it seem official. I believe they only celebrate it in the midwest because on all of my other travels no one has ever heard of it. But in Detroit, starting in October you’ll start seeing a bunch of sweetest day cards and commercials from Hallmark and the jewelry stores. It’s literally the most obvious hallmark holiday there is

            • nillalatte

              Great! Another useless holiday that I can ignore. ;)

            • BeautifullyHuman

              Thanks Loving Me and Marshal! Glad I don’t live in the Midwest. lol

          • Marshal

            It’s a Midwest thing; used to be a Mulligan for Guys that messed up or missed Valentines’s Day, but somewhere along the way it was said to be the Men’s Valentine’s Day (Most Guys don’t get squat on V-Day ’cause it’s All About the Ladies on Feburary 14th). Since I been dating (12-Present), I’ve only gotten something on V-Day 3 Times, and I’ve been 6-19 Giving Gifts/Remembering. Sweetest Day:3-4 Since I was told and actually Reconized it. My Record is Knicks like

            • http://theothersideofphlyy.blogspot.com Phlyy Girl

              Seee, I always thoughts Men’s V-Day was March 14, Steak and BJ day….At least that’s what I heard.

              • Breezy

                Well wait…I thought Steak and BJ day was a personal holiday that I made up. Like for real…back in 02.

    • Jessiree

      I appreciate your candor in general TUK (I’m a VSB page lurker). I completely agree that men get shafted as far as V-day goes. I am against the day, I want you to show me love regularly not just because the calendar says so. That ish is stupid. Hopefully you get some extra special vag from your lady for your efforts though.

      • That Ugly Kid

        Firstly, my candor appreciates the love. Secondly, I agree in showing affection 365 and not just the one day. I’ve never been a fan of Valentine’s Day or Sweetest Day for that matter.

    • http://challyshares.tumblr.com Nei Jae

      “Because rules dictate I go all out and be Mr. Romance while you reward me with the same vag I literally just got an hour ago back at the movie theatre. ”

      I laughed because it’s funny, yet I’m saddened because it’s so darn true.

      • That Ugly Kid

        Alas, you need no longer feel saddened! If you want to balance the scales on V-Day. Hit him with a threesome. Or if he has inexhaustible stamina like me (unlikely), suprise him with a Work Week. If you don’t know, a Work Week is a sixsome. Him plus you and 4 other women, also known as Work Days. This is so just in case he doesn’t remember their names, (he won’t) he can assign to them a day of the week, Mon-Fri, and call them that when instructions or position changes are given. Hence why a sixsome is named a Work Week. Pretty sure his gift(s) and yours will even out.

        • DQ

          This comment was hilarious.

          • http://challyshares.tumblr.com Nei Jae

            was not! :-P

            ok, so it was. whatever.

        • http://challyshares.tumblr.com Nei Jae

          You can only puck one fussy at a time so what’s the point of a threesome? I’m thinking I can come up with better and more creative ways to balance those scales.

          • That Ugly Kid

            Uh hello? Multi-tasking? I’ll try not to get too VSB After Dark here but picture this. Dude on bottom while one woman is riding the peen and the other is strategically placed on his face.

            • http://challyshares.tumblr.com Nei Jae

              it’s so over-rated, though. in some circles, it’s almost standard and reeks of a lack of creativity.

              Me: Babe, tonight it’s all about you. What you wanna do? Almost nothing is off limits.
              Him: Uh, is a threesome okay?
              Me: Dude, I practically tell you there are no limits and THAT’S the most creative thing you can come up with?

              Seriously, TUK, where’s the excitement in “standard” activity?

              • That Ugly Kid

                He’s a guy. How much creativity do you want? Do you want him to say some sh!t like, “I want you to lay on your back, legs wide open, at the bottom of the Grand Canyon, while I stand on the edge with the worlds longest rope tied around my waist. That way I can bungie jump into the p**sy! It’s gets no deeper than that!!! Pun.Motha.f*ckin.Intended!!!”

                No. I suggest you start off slow. If it’s there, the creativity will come.

                • http://challyshares.tumblr.com Nei Jae

                  How much creativity do I want?

                  How about something somewhere in between “Uh, I want a threesome” and “I want you to lay on your back, legs wide open, at the bottom of the Grand Canyon, while I stand on the edge with the worlds longest rope tied around my waist. That way I can bungie jump into the p**sy! (by the way, I had a visual. and it was awesome!!)

                  Seriously, just put some thought into it. Even if it is a threesome you want, take it a step further. Be creative, gosh darn it!

                  • http://www.twitter.com/AbRock3000 bmoreCreative

                    hmm…like a 3some costume party…..where folks are dressed like characters from True Blood? Star trek? or historical figures from the civil rights era…lol?

                    enlighten us…

                    • http://challyshares.tumblr.com Nei Jae

                      hmmm. role playing….

                      i digs it.

        • Aly

          This is so just in case he doesn’t remember their names, (he won’t) he can assign to them a day of the week, Mon-Fri

          I’m pretty sure this was a Flavor of Love episode.

          • That Ugly Kid

            Word? Well if Flava Flav does it then it must be fool proof.

    • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com Val

      I would always feel like a idiot on Valentine’s Day buying whatever for whoever on this made-up holiday. And the societal pressure is just crazy to comply.

      But I don’t feel that way anymore. I love Valentine’s Day now! ;-) I love getting and giving flowers. I have so much fun picking out unusual flowers each year.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      if you got a girl who goes to the club and let’s some man touch up all over her in the first place chances are you’d know that upfront and that would be your own fault homey.

      • That Ugly Kid

        How the hell would I know that?! I didn’t re-up on my Telepathy powers last year.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          which is your second problem. step your super hero game up ninja.

      • http://mapetiteniche.blogspot.com/ Lo

        Not everyone who goes to the club dances like they are jacked up on Viagra.. .aka the girls men always try to hit at the club but they reply…i just wanna dance with my friends…and then y’all get mad……dancing or being in a lounge chilling with friends can be relaxing…in no part of his statement does he mention grinding on a man like a dog in heat…common sense dictates no one in a relationship will be happy if their partner did that?..unless they are in an open relationship i guess?

    • nillalatte

      LOL… V-day… I sent this dude a picture of a bunch of yellow roses and wished him a happy Valentines Day. OMG… he went ballistic. He thought I was like putting some moves on him… with a picture (side eye). I had to explain that yellow roses means FRIENDSHIP!!! Learned me a lesson real quick. Some dudes are too f’n sensitive.

      • Breezy

        Nah, dudes are just lacking that type of attention. I send my guy a picture of some shid I googled saying :”Baby I Miss You” and he responded with more damn happy face emotionicons than any man should ever use.

    • That Ugly Kid

      6. Receiving Oral – I love giving it. I like to pretend that the cl!t is the neglectful mom while my tongue is the little, undisciplined child with ADHD who just will not.sit.thef*ck.still. Constantly running to and fro.

      Getting it though? I have had good head once in my entire life. And that was recently. Maybe because I haven’t met someone who’s pasionate about it like pr0n stars (shout out to Sky Black, Italia Blue, and Alana Moore). I think it’s mad overrated. And I also have this fear about women sucking my balls. Don’t do it. Why? Because with my luck, a woman would be doing it, get the urge to sneeze, neglect to remove said scrotum from mouth, and sneeze. And what happens when we sneeze? We bite down. Nuff said. So if it even LOOKS like you’re headed for my balls I will elbow the top of your head with deadly accuracy and the intent to kill. Just stick to the shaft. Not that it matters, though. I’m pretty sure it’ll suck (no pun intended) anyway.