Lists, Race & Politics, Theory & Essay

Things Drunk White People Do That Black People Don’t Do…Unless We’re Being Black

Drunk white people are a trip. How do I know this? Because I’ve had some close encounters with them.

And let me put this out there upfront, I’m scared of drunk white people. Drunk white people make me feel very uncomfortable like there’s always a fight that’s about to break out and if anybody ends up in jail, it will probably be…me. Especially with drunk white dudes. I don’t stay around those cats long. I saw the Scottsboro Boys, Face/Off, and Roadhouse. Oh yeah, and you remember that scene in The Little Mermaid where the drunk white cat starts hanging with the albatross and then eats eggs and dances with plates? Drunk white dudes did all that.

You see, drunk white people garner the same reaction from reading Black people that all Black people draw from white folks. Amazing how the stereotypes just flip-flop when you add some Pabst Blue Ribbon and Jager-bombs to the mix. Actually, I have no idea what the white libation of choice is but I will say that I only know one Black cat who’s ever ordered a White Russian, because it has milk…and you KNOW Black folks are lactose intolerant.

The more you know.

*ding*

Anyway, here are things that drunk white people do when they’re drunk that Black people don’t do.

1. Get loud and belligerent as f*ck

While we, the Black people, are loud by nature – face it, we are – drunk white people take being loud to a whole new level. Especially the chicks. Thing is as opposed to yelling about important things like why the white man is the devil like my Hebrew Israelite friends in NYC do, white chicks yell about where their friends are and say, “I’m so drunk” over and over very loudly. Drunk white guys like to yell out the word, “bro” a lot, which is also different from our standard greeting (at least in the Southern states) of “bruh”.

I remember once while Chappelle’s Show was on the air a group of white dudes driving thru Adam’s Morgan in a cab yelling out to every Black person, “daaaaaaaaaaarkness”. And I’d have been mad if it wasn’t so gosh darn funny. Bazinga1

2. Fight

I know us ninjas are a fighting breed. I’m watching Martin right now and he just got into a fight with an old woman. See, we just do that. But drunk white people fight any and everybody. A drunk white guy just can’t stop himself from punching a hole into something and then going all “rager” while his drunk girlfriend tries to pull him away from the other drunk parties as they take off their shirts to show off the their muskels and prove that they can handle anything. Pride is the number one killer of Black men between birth and death. Alcohol and insider trading is the same for white people.

3. Go gay

Not sure why being drunk makes all white girls think its okay to tongue each other down. And it’s not like I’m complaining either. While it doesn’t do anything for me it would be rude of me to try to rob somebody else of the joy of seeing two snowbunnies ski each other’s slopes. But why does that happen? Ain’t no way in f*ck that two Black women are going to slob each other down because of liquor like white people. But yep, the pinks feel eachother up and grab boobs and arses, lick one another and taste the rainbow. By the way, tasting the rainbow is gay.

4. Invade personal space

All white people go all Napoleon when they’re drunk. Which is saying something since white people don’t respect personal space when they’re NOT drunk. But noooooope, drunk white people get all up in your grill and disrespect the 6-9 inch rule. This is the main reason I don’t do drunk white people. The entitlement issues developed during slavery manifest themselves at clubs where they embark their tyrannical reign of imperialist curmudgeonry by stepping on my toes and whipping me with their hair whilst elbowing me because we’re sharing the same square foot of space. I hate sharing square foots, son. Hate it. But that’s a drunk pink for you. Oh, and Black folks don’t invade personal space because doing so means somebody’s show might get stepped on and you know what happens when somebody’s shoe gets stepped on. You remember Do The Right Thing! And he was WHITE TOO!!!!

See?

See!

By the way, I love white people.

What else do white people do when they’re drunk that Black folks just don’t do (unless we’re being…Black)?

Heal the world.

-VSB P aka MR. GO KING BEEF aka 40 P aka VITAMIN P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

Filed Under:
Damon Young

Panama Jackson is pretty fly for a light guy. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. He believes the children are our future and is waiting to find out if he is the 2nd most interesting man in the world.

  • Be On It

    Drunk white people proceed to bark out orders about when you should dance and with whom, start ordering drinks for everyone in their vicinity, and acting as if having spasms is dancing.

    Oh, and drunk white dudes go all “the rumor about white dudes is a lie. I got more than enough if uknowwhati’msayin. Black chicks are so hot. I’m diggin you Nubian princess” blah blah blah blah.

    • openlysilent

      Oops, I didn’t see that you were first. Didn’t mean to reiterate…my bad!

    • legitimate_soul

      Your comment is truth. I had white ladies tell me I should be dancing and try to make me dance with random dudes. No, I don;t know them. However, you did a remarkable ninja move by hopping in front of P to be first.

      • legitimate_soul

        No shade or snark by the way. Good comment and Congrats on being first.

        • http://lizburr.com Liz

          Oh how I love approving a moderated comment from somebody who beat the first placer. It makes this whole thing slightly less annoying for me. Slightly.

    • Leila

      “Drunk white people…start ordering drinks for everyone in their vicinity”

      Co-sign! They will order everyone a drink for everyone and argue to pay for it.

      • CreoleSoul IS…TheUndeniable

        White people do that when they’re sober. Usually.

    • Cool white guy

      You know if a white person started this post we would be racist people

      • SuperBytchNuQQa

        I actually laughed at this blog.

      • Lindsey

        Stfu

  • P.

    Yo, this is the truest sh*t I’ve ever seen on here. Whenever we hung out with white people at OSU, all of these things happened every. single. time.

    I got stories for days, but a ninja also got class bright and early tomorrow, so maybe later.

    • legitimate_soul

      Congrats! :)

    • http://www.shay-d-lady.com shay-d-lady

      @P
      THANK YOU!!! for posting something actually relating to the post and not being all “first” about it.
      I hate having to scroll down a thousand comments concerning being first before actually reading a relevant comment.

      YES I am pretty f!cking cranky today.

      • http://www.nicklodeon.wordpress.com Nick@Nite

        ohhh… you may be cranky… but you’s telling the truth, ruth!

      • It Figures!

        “I hate having to scroll down a thousand comments concerning being first before actually reading a relevant comment.”
        Ditto. You are not being cranky. It is the truth.

      • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

        Word, ShayD! Word.

      • Officer Ricky

        Yaymen.

        I was getting pretty f!ckn tired of that “first” foolery too. Especially when Reading this through my iPhone.

      • http://presidentialtelevisionandfilm.ning.com Monk

        I’m not cranky…but I co-sign.

      • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

        Hell, even I was getting kinda bored with it and I never really actually said “first” in a comment. It was fun playing around with it, especially since when I first got “first”, it was on accident and then it became this “thing.” It ain’t my fault! No Limit. Actually there is a limit because where the eff dem niccas?

        • Dom

          No Limit. Actually there is a limit because where the eff dem niccas?

          LMAO But like fo’ real, Silk was a cutie…

          • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

            LOL, I had a crush on Silk back in the day.

      • http://twitter.com/SmartFoxGirl SmartFoxGirl

        Yeah I got over it too that’s why I stopped. But it doesn’t bother me people try to be first. I don’t see why that upsets everyone.

        • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

          LOL, yeah it was always done here even in the olden days so I don’t take it too seriously. Was just a silly game for me. I’m silly. Though it is more fun when folks are more creative with it (i.e. Mr. SoBo’s one-liner from yesterday), than just saying “first.” I figure, hell, we’re all off-topic all up and through here all day.

          *dougies*

          • http://twitter.com/SmartFoxGirl SmartFoxGirl

            LOL@ Sobo below.
            @Cheekie
            I don’t see why it ruffles everyones feathers. Like you said, I think it’s funny! Especially the acceptance speeches and LS throwing confetti. I think some people need to lighten up.

          • http://www.shay-d-lady.com shay-d-lady

            LOL, yeah it was always done here even in the olden days so I don’t take it too seriously.

            naw it wasnt done in the olden. there where some pockets here and there and everyonce in a w hile every one has been happy about being the first commenter. but only after posting relevant comments, and it didnt take so much space.
            its not that i mind people wanting to be first. its that part of why i like to come here is to read the comments as they pertain to the topic. I am also at work or on my cell most times, i dont have time to scroll through 100 comments about being first. I mean 1 or 2 or 10? but got dayum that shyt be going on EVERY SINGLE Day for like half of the comments.
            and at first it was okay but now that shyt is out of hand. but thats my opinion.

            • http://www.shay-d-lady.com shay-d-lady

              oh and in the effort of full disclosure im sure that i have gloated over being first once or twice in my past.
              so im not hating on that per se….

            • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

              I gotcha, shay. I’m just saying this recently ain’t the first time it’s been done here, not so much that it was done all the time back in the day.

              • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

                Oops…hit submit too soon. But, yeah I see it’s more about the VOLUME of folks doing it, rather than the mere act of doing it. I can see how that could get tiring when reading via cell.

                I understand my peoples.

                Let’s do shots.

      • Mr SoBo

        And I hate having to scroll down a thousand comments concerning how much people really hate the ‘being first comments’ before I actually get to reading a relevant comment.
        I’m not cranky. Just the truth.

        • BmoreCreative

          Lol…exactly.

        • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

          O_O

          *closes piano*

          *dies*

        • Rog

          “And I hate having to scroll down a thousand comments concerning how much people really hate the ‘being first comments’ before I actually get to reading a relevant comment.
          I’m not cranky. Just the truth.”

          *in my best Carribean accent”
          Boh Boh Boh Boh

          Lick shots up in this piece!!

        • Yeah…So

          silly

        • lola289

          haha… ok mr sobo… u a fool :-)

      • V Renee

        Add me to the list of cranky people who hate seeing the race to first. I guess it would be different if the first comments actually talked about the post. But what do I know?! I do annoying stuff on the regular. Lol

    • P.

      Not that I disagree or anything, but damn this turned to Rail On “Race to First” Hour quick fast and in a hurry, lol.

    • Sula

      Whenever we hung out with white people at OSU

      My life is filled with OSU grads (I live in Texas after all) but y’all are a different partying breed altogether. :)

      • P.

        That’s mostly because Columbus sucks and there’s nothing else to do.

  • legitimate_soul

    Could it be?

    • legitimate_soul

      Denied! LOL

    • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

      *hits buzzer* EEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

    • http://twitter.com/SmartFoxGirl SmartFoxGirl

      You keep trying for first. it’s funny. The people upthread are just being sour.

      • legitimate_soul

        *hugs* You the homie, SFG! I hear ya, girl. I think it’s fun poking fun at ourselves, being a little silly, and welcoming at the same time. Hey, but different strokes for different folks : ) Plus, “QUEENSBRIDGE!” for old times sake, lol!

        • http://twitter.com/SmartFoxGirl SmartFoxGirl

          Yeah I saw you were the only one to congratulate him and who doesn’t love a good “queensbridge” every now and then. It’s comical and we can do whatever we want so blah to the haters. lol You know you my ninja!

  • openlysilent

    Drunk white people (men) make their Black girl fantasies known!

    • http://www.iamyourpeople.com I Am Your People

      Unfortunately, this involves some “Roots” type isht.

    • Deeds

      This is def. true. I remember being at a foam party and one white dude was telling me and my friend how he never danced with a black girl before and how we had big butts and oohh..really weird.

    • Mimi

      Co-sign…But the ones that approach me (when they are inebriated) say sh*t like “I want to kidnap you and keep you in the trunk of my car…” or other terms of affection like “Is black girl p*ssy is the same like white girl p*ssy?”
      True story.

      • openlysilent

        I know exactly what you mean. I was in NY, and a white guy actually yelled across the street and said, I hear Black girls have the best p****, is it true? I was stunned!

        • Mr SoBo

          @Mimi & opensilent
          ““If black girl p*ssy is the same like white girl p*ssy?” , “I hear Black girls have the best p****, is it true?”

          For me, this is the Tootsie Pop of s*x questions.

          Wh*te Guy: Hey Mr. Sobo. Is black girl p*ssy really better than wh*te girl p*ssy?
          Mr SoBo: Hmmn.. Let’s find out.
          *grabs nearest black girl*
          Mr Sobo: One stroke. Ta-hoo stroke. Tha-ree stroke….
          **Loud SPLASH**
          Mr SoBo: zzzzz zzzzz zzzzz
          *wh*te guy gives blank stare*

          Announcer: “Is black girl p*ssy REALLY better than wh*te girl p*ssy? Mr. Sobo will never know”.

          I’m quite satisfied with my black berry mola$$es. No need for pancakes.

          • openlysilent

            *winks*…And we are quite satisfied with you!

          • Mimi

            ::in my best Sheneneh impersonation::
            Oh my Gooooooddddnnneeeessss!

          • Lanieanna

            I’m just hoping that all of you ladies answered YES!!! to that question! lol!

            The perpetuates that blk girls have better P***Y and white girls give better head!

            • Lanieanna

              … The Sterotype

          • Anita

            And we are quit very satisfied with you. I was called a racist by some white dude i once worked with while an intern, reason I told him i was satisfied with black men and didnt aspire to date his kind.

    • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

      TOO true. When I worked as a ticket-taker at our football games in college (a PWI), I got hit on more than evah before. Like these same niccas acted like they had anti-black chick glasses on in class. o_O

      In vino veritas, indeed.

      • openlysilent

        Ditto on entire post. I went to a PWI too, and though, I didn’t work as a ticket-taker, I can resonate with your experience. I’m like, “you remember from class? But…but, we have never said a word to each other.”

    • openlysilent

      One of my most memorable experience (and there are many) involved me turning a white guy down, and him replying with, “lots of Black guys date white girls, when are you gonna even the score?” WTH?

      • http://twitter.com/s0_flyy So Flyy

        hahahahaha… even though he was drunk, i agree.

        Them – 1,345,829
        Us – 3

        • Mimi

          @ So Flyy

          and out of the 3 black girls, two of them are probably bi-racial.

          • http://twitter.com/s0_flyy So Flyy

            @Mimi

            No doubt. I was on a wedding website this morning – directed by an engaged friend of mine to vote for her and her fiance – and as I flipped through the pictures of the 716 couples, there were only 7 couples that consisted of a 2520 man and black/bi-racial woman.

            • James

              Black women and white men just really don’t like each other that much. Unless she’s Halle Berry or he is Robin Thicke. Black guys and white girls will bang/date for the hell of it.

              But truth be told A LOT of famous white women have dated and MARRIED white men. Since forever. Josephine Baker and on down the line.

              • buddie

                Robert Dinero (my man) Sting, the Rashad dude who was married to Phylicia Rashad now married to the ex wife of the owner of the jets or nets.

  • openlysilent

    DEAD @ “the pinks.”

    Hilarious…

    • http://www.remthemulatto.wordpress.com RemTheMulatto

      Is it just me or does that sound borderline racist..? Not the post, just the use of that word..

      It’s in jest of course.. but I’m pretty sure half the people here would cry bloody racism if they saw “the darkies” used by a white blogger.

      If I’m starting sh*t I apologize but I’m confused..

      • http://presidentialtelevisionandfilm.ning.com Monk

        @RemTheMulatto,
        “Is it just me or does that sound borderline racist..? Not the post, just the use of that word..”

        No.

        To elaborate a little, in my opinion, words or the usage of certain words in itself does not make one racist. Racism is much deeper and it has to do with one’s belief that one race is superior to others. I don’t believe that a white person who have said the word “nigger” is racist necessarily either. Although, the word has a history attached to it that’s extremely close to racist beliefs so therefore it’s perceived as being such. “The pinks” doesn’t have such history.

        Hope that alleviates some of the confusion.

        • Yonnie 3000

          I see what you sayin’, but yeah – if I went to a message board and saw a bunch of ppl talmbout “the darkies” I’d call them racist. It doesn’t mean they ARE racist, but it wouldn’t stop me from saying it.

          • V Renee

            It doesn’t mean they ARE racist, but it wouldn’t stop me from saying it. .

            LOL!! I too feel this way about certain things.

          • Lindsey

            If you saw a site that said “the darkies” I would say they were racists.and if they weren’t racist they were stupid enough that I wouldn’t feel bad calling them a racists.

        • http://www.remthemulatto.wordpress.com RemTheMulatto

          That’s how I view racism too for the most part. Like I totally understood Whoopi Goldberg’s stand on Mel Gibson’s not being a racist..

          What makes it sound racist is how the words are used.. I mean, if I were gonna insult white people, I’d totally go in on their sometimes pink complexion.. And that’s my problem with it.. It’s like a full on jab at white people as a whole. When u take a jab at an entire race, isn’t that racism?

          Maybe it wasn’t an intentional jab, but I must admit if I didn’t have such a great sense of humor, I’d be half offended.

          • Dr.Piranha

            I’d laugh my ass of if someone called me pink! Work harder. And I think yours is an isolated incident, or incidents. I was pretty much the only white at my high school, and all my black friends I would drink then, and to this day, are loud as shit! No louder than my white friends. But my white friends are a hell of a lot louder on certain other substances.

      • openlysilent

        Nope, not starting anything.

        Racism is systematically putting another race of people at a disadvantage, socially, politically, etc. The term is consistently misused and often mis-defined (yep, my word). I think the term darkies may be taken offensively because it was/is generally coupled with social and political inequity across several indicators of life quality, including, jobs, housing, school, etc.

        The term “pinks” could be considered offensive to some, I imagine. But, racist? I doubt that seriously. School me, now I’m confused.

        • http://www.remthemulatto.wordpress.com RemTheMulatto

          I say it sounds racist because it’s used to define an entire race. U feel me? I suppose it doesn’t have history, but every racial slur had a beginning.. I mean, what if white folks took an outstanding characteristic of ours and called us that? Would that not be at least borderline racist?

      • http://twitter.com/SmartFoxGirl SmartFoxGirl

        I’ve been listening to white people use racist words for years…they can handle “pinks”, trust me. I don’t condone it but I understand why black comedians can make white jokes but white comedians can’t make black jokes.

        • http://www.remthemulatto.wordpress.com RemTheMulatto

          See.. that’s the problem. Not ALL white people use racial slurs.. So when we group them all together and say it’s ok to insult all of them, we’re as bad as the people who actually deserve to be insulted.. the racists.

        • Mini

          I would disagree only to say there are many white comedians who can make black jokes and are actually good at what they do without going all “Krammer” on folks. Bill Burr and Joe Rogan are two that come to mind off top, but there are more. If a comedian is good regardless of race their jokes about race can be funny.

        • Dr.Piranha

          That is pure crap! Yeah it’s not okay for white people to make black jokes…… if you live in the past. If that is all you surround yourself with, and refer to, that is all you will ever reap.

      • k-steez

        yeah it kinda sounds that way, but it isn’t. especially since it’s a color and its acceptable to call each other black and white. if anything labeling people by color is suspect in general.

        and it’s definitely nothing like being called a “darkie” because that word already exists in a historical context and is negative.

        also, i don’t know if anyone here would care if people were offended and cried “bloody racism”, least of all if white people were offended. they say things on here that could be offensive all the time- its part of the shtick. conservatives and those easily offended should be reading another blog.

        • Chocolynne

          I wouldn’t be upset if anybody called me brown or beige. 2520′s wouldn’t know to call me “red” or “yellow” even. But I still wouldn’t get my feathers all ruffled if they did because there is far far worse.

          • http://www.remthemulatto.wordpress.com RemTheMulatto

            2520s?

            I just Google’d what that meant.. Damn.. OK.. and pinks too, huh..

            Maybe I’m overly sensitive or I’m the ONLY one here who is looking at it from the other perspective.. Don’t be trippin’ when white folks start calling us new stuff too..

            • Maximillian

              “Don’t be trippin’ when white folks start calling us new stuff too..”

              What makes you think they’re not? People in majority are always coming up with new ways to term minorities. Things like ‘urban’ and ‘at-risk youth’ come to mind. And I won’t even get into the ‘mistaken’ use of the old standbys a la Dr. Laura.

              • http://www.remthemulatto.wordpress.com RemTheMulatto

                Oh I see.. So since they call us stuff, we will call them stuff back..

                Whoa.. I just had a flashback to elementary school.

                I’m not defending Dr. Laura, but she’s just a confused old white lady who doesn’t get why a word is race-exclusive. Coming up with cute little words to call them other than just white people adds to that confusion.

            • LuvRain

              You do realize that “pink” is a color, like “black”, and they came up with that word for us. Prior to that, folks were referred to by their country, nation or continent of origin. So if “pink” is racist, so is “black”…So yeah, you’re being sensitive to only one of your “mulatto” sides (which is also an offensive term at it’s base).

              Regarding being called “new stuff”…smdh…you do know something about American history, right? Come on…

              • http://www.remthemulatto.wordpress.com RemTheMulatto

                OK Mr. (or Mrs?) Logical, so u mean to tell me that if I refer to whites as pinks that’s the same as whites referring to us as blacks.. Seriously? OK.. And nigger is just bad pronunciation of the base word Negro, which is also a color. And black people being compared to monkeys is just a matter of color too cuz they’re brown, so also harmless.. F*k outta here!

                More importantly, I’m not a case of racism from one angle but something else from the other. I am black identified. Being called black does not offend me because I grew up with it. Being called white does not offend me because I am half white. However, being called pink.. That’s new and something inside me questions whether it’s ok, whether u try to get it or not. What it really comes down to is the meaning behind it. I can’t think of anything endearing about being called a pink, so that’s why I’m asking questions.

                Relax your bias for a moment and imagine you’re reading a white blog doing a similar comparison about black and white drunk people, and somewhere in there they say, “Darkies usually drink Hennessy..” If that almost offends you, then u get me. If not, then u are more desensitized than I am and we will never see eye to eye anyway, so let’s stop arguing and just be friends.

                And the last thing u said was a bunch of ambiguous condescending blah blah blah and shall not be addressed without further explanation.

        • http://www.remthemulatto.wordpress.com RemTheMulatto

          I get that. That’s y I’m not trippin’ about the entire blog.. But shouldn’t there be a line? If we’re coining racial slurs, how can we maintain credibility when we take offense to hearing the n-word from the wrong people?

          I’m just starting to feel like too many black folks feel like we can say whatever we want about everybody else, but still want to take offense when the tables turn. Hypocrisy aint a good look.

          • iRocsox91

            Yeah the word “pinks” did kinda throw me off a bit. Not 2520s tho. I look at it as more of a nickname than a slur. I do think that as black people we do tend to have double standards when it comes to racial speak. Some ppl try to justify it, but growing up I always tried to ask myself if I would be offended if the roles were reversed. If the answer is yes we need to just admit when were wrong.

            • http://www.remthemulatto.wordpress.com RemTheMulatto

              There needs to be a committee or something to determine what words are offensive and what aren’t across the board, and whether there’s a place in a modern peaceful society for them. Either that or all these words need free reign and people need to stop being so sensitive (and that should include the N-Word).

              Somebody get on that..

  • B. Brown

    I don’t hang too much around 2520s, but I’ll take “urinate in public” for 100.

    • http://thatbitchstolemyline.com B.Collins

      I take your urinate in public and raise you a round of puke and rally.**

      ** for those who attended their first kegger in college, the burb’s kids do something callled puke and rally, where you basically get trashed, barf it all up and go back for more…not wash/rinse needed.

      hooray!

    • Mimi

      Two weeks ago, I had spotted a white man (who was drunk) pissing on the side of an ATM machine. It was obvious that he was drunk, but what made it weird was the fact that it was a Wednesday afternoon, around 2 o’ clock.

  • Mari

    They also repeat themselves alot. That ish is irritating if you are sober.

  • http://www.shay-d-lady.com shay-d-lady

    i agree with all of these.
    Especially the personal space thing. Like for real get the F!ck out of my face.
    I am not your “friend” dont put your arms around me, dont buy me a shot, nothing…

    drunk white people also randomly invite you to their home to “keep the party going”
    no thanks im almost certain thats how serial killers get ya

    • http://lizburr.com Liz

      LOLLL. The home thing is SO TRUE. OMG. I can’t tell you how many white boys have tried to get me or my friends to come on to their house. I look at them like, WHAT FOR? GO HOME lolol.

    • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

      At BlogHer, Me, Huny & Afrobella found a GREAT drunk white chick who invited us to her hotel room. Where we had an awesome impromptu wine party. We somehow drank 3 bottles in 30 mins. We. were. GONE! It was AWESOME!

      • V Renee

        We somehow drank 3 bottles in 30 mins. We. were. GONE! It was AWESOME! .

        *snickering* Did yall each just consume a bottle of wine? LOL

  • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

    I appreciate drunk white folks b/c they buy everyone in a 20 ft radius a drink.

    “Yo buddy!!! Youwannadrink??? YaknowuwannadrinkIthinkyoutoosoberrightnow. BAHTENDAHHHH! GETMYNEWFRIENDWHARREVADRINKSHEWANTS!!!:”

    Yes. They rock for this. But I agree w/ everything P-Money said.

    • oftenconfused

      This was my add and I love it!!!

      Drunk white ppl become everyones friend and they want all their “friends” to be a drunk (uh..I mean happy) as them.

    • http://uphereoncloud9.com/ Wu Young Agent of M.E.

      “I appreciate drunk white folks b/c they buy everyone in a 20 ft radius a drink.”

      And God bless them for this.

    • http://twitter.com/s0_flyy So Flyy

      Agreed. The best night I had in Vegas w/ 4 drunk white guys and my group of 7 minority girlfriends. After the party ended the after party… which included bottles of Vodka and Patron carried on in their room. ABSOLUTELY EPIC.

    • http://Twitter.com/Get_Sanks BDot

      I always had fun when I partied with white folk. The worst I’ve seen is some guy start to choke his girlfriend before catching a beat down of legendary proportions (by pretty much every other guy at the party…..and the bouncers).

      But anyway:

      -Most of the time I’ve been out with white people, they refuse to see you NOT drunk. So this results in plenty of free drinks. And man law clearly states that you are never to refuse a drink from another man (unless he’s trying to get at you…..different story).

      -White chicks do tend to get very….liberal with their sexuality when plastered. One time down Adams Morgan some drunk white girl starting throwing her ass on every chick at the party.

      …This included my sister, which made for a very hilarious situation.

      -The best thing about partying with white folks is regardless of how many fights break out, nobody dies. As much as I love my people…I can’t deny that we go nuts when the alcohol comes out. We take a dude stepping on our shoes as blatant disrespectin’ of our whole hood.

      And we can’t have that.

      Ol’ Tom Van Peterschmidt wilin’ out on the dance floor and bumps into you? No problem.

      He apologizes and goes to get you a drink to make up for it.

  • legitimate_soul

    What I have seen some people do:

    1. Pi$$ openly in public and look at you while doing so as if you’re the skeevy perv who opened the door on them in an actual restroom. Pi$$ in a parking lot, in front of the line to the venue, in a corner INSIDE the venue, in a phone booth, in the shrubs and landscaping, in between parked cars in front a jumping business with high pedestrian traffic…just about everywhere BUT the bathroom.

    2. Tongue down a complete stranger.

    3. Throw ‘ish (food, water, bottles) at people.

    4. Grab your a$$.

    5. King Beef, you told the daggone truth on stepping on feet ignoring personal space, elbowing you and flicking hair in your face. Will bump all up in you and continue to do until you choke em’ out remove yourself from the situation so as not to get into an unnecessary altercation
    .
    6. Ride a bike. A drunk riding a bike and talking ‘ish is a thing to see!

    7. Fight with the people they came with. A fight em’ as if they don’t know em’ and that’s their mortal enemy and not the best bud that grew up with them.

    8. Get naked, flash a body party, or be so wasted that they are in some form of disrobe. Folks can see a woman’s g-string and it’s not going down the “middle” and her dress is up around her waist. They also might jump on a chair, a stage, DJ booth, or climb behind it and start to strip.

    9. Get faded wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy too early where they are throwing up and making their whole crew go home early. Why you “earlin’ ” in the bushes before 8pm? Why you are about to pass out and you just walked in half an hour ago?

    10. Start ‘ish with cops without the sense of urgency, caution, or concern that most people of color have like spidey sense. A cop car is on one end of the street, drunk person and their party is parked the opposite way, the drunk fool will stumble in the right direction and might prevent the feel of handcuffs but will turn a round and run up on the cop belligerant or start yelling how the police are “fascists” and “ain’t ‘ish”.

    • Leila

      Co-sign your whole list!

    • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

      “5. King Beef, you told the daggone truth on stepping on feet ignoring personal space, elbowing you and flicking hair in your face.”

      Yeah, I went to a white party this summer and since we were on a boat full of niccas, there was BOUND to be some accidental stepping-on-shoes. The boat was rockin’ and so were the people. I accidentally stumbled on to folks feet and I just KNEW things would pop off, but everyone was generally nice. I get HELLA lovey-dovey and nice when I’m drunk so when chicks stepped on my feet (and that sh*t HURTS with heels), I’m just like, “That’s okay honey!”…I mean, if they apologize…if they don’t acknowledge it or have a stank attitude…things magically reverse. lol