Lists, Pop Culture, Race & Politics

Things Black People Say?

This pictures has nothing to do with this post. I just felt like showing everybody how far Ice Cube has fallen. Those Coors commercials hurt my soul.

In a previous life when I used to frequent places where ratchetness always ruled the day and the potential for crime and/or uncivil unrest was always at a fever pitch, there were a few signs I’d always look for to indicate that some violence was about to go down. There’s the tried and true, almost slow motion-like, Bionic-man level speed of a herd of ninjas all running the same direction that-a-way, but away from something. Anybody with Black relatives knows that means either somebody pulled a gun or somebody used a gun or somebody just got stabbed.

Or more simply, the Loss Of Life Potential Index was at a 9. Even if you didn’t know what was going on, you can always trust the crowd in those situations. Always. Run first, ask questions later and hope nobody named Ricky is running beside you. Seriously, if a ninja named Ricky is running next to you…trip him and keep running.

Another sure sign of violence is the quick removal of a shirt. I don’t know what it is about ninjas who are about to get in a fight and taking off shirts. I suppose muskels are supposed to be imposing, but unless you’re Hancock, chances are those triceps aren’t stopping elephant bullets, laughing boy.

ELEPHANT BULLETS?

Elephant bullets.

So yeah, running crowds and random ninja shirt removal are two signs. There’s a very famous third though that should set off anybody’s spidey sense. And it’s the first in a line of statements that I’m wondering are only uttered by Black people. Seriously…

1. YOU DO NOT KNOW ME!

Almost on cue, every single time I’ve seen two ninjas (who obviously don’t know each other) begin to do the pre-fight cat daddy where they more or less circle the wagons, one person is ALWAYS going to say to the other, “you don’t know me!”, almost hoping (I guess) that the other person will realize the fact that 1) they don’t know them; and 2) the potential for what they may have in store. We so simple. I’ve always thought this was a stupid statement in and of itself in these situations because well, it lends nothing to the situation. But hell, I’ve said it before and because I’m cerebral I had an internal convo with myself on some “P, that’s dumb…he knows he doesn’t know you. He also isn’t scared of you. And genius, you don’t know him either. This could end bad. I should offer to do his homework or something…” Either way, I wonder if other cultures go down this route. At least it’s good for something; like I said, it’s a violence indicator.

2. I’m just saying.

The words “I’m Just saying” have had a tremendous resurgence as of late in our community. It seems like every n*gga “is just saying” something. Like we’re all the innocent victims of facts or something. “Yo, your b*tch is ugly dog. I’m just saying.” Newsflash, it doesn’t absolve you from sh*t and it definitely doesn’t make you a soothsayer. And yet, its almost as popular as saying, “my neck, my back…” well you know the rest. I’m amazed that no song has been made out of this saying. Oh wait…that’s right, Young Jeezy has a song called, “I’m Just Saying”. Nevermind. N*ggas.

Speaking of…

3. I’m doing me/Imma do me/Do you boo

I’m sure there are various iterations of this in other cultures, but there’s something about living in Black culture that requires us all to let others know that we’re just doing ourselves. Like other people won’t let us live so we do our thing and hope that the haters stay away. I hate haters. That might be an oxymoron or the universe might have just exploded, either way, keep doing you boo. Oh, and I’m realizing the best statements all have songs. Like Rocko’s hood classic, “Imma Do Me”. Kwame is rolling over in his condo.

4. Haters gon’ hate/Can I live?/various iterations of pseudo poetic self-motivational shots fired

You know, us Blacks are a poetic people. I’m just sayin’. Everybody’s out to steal our joy and everybody’s tryign to steal our shine. Allegedly. I’m just sayin. I wonder if other folks say this same sh*t also but not as poetically as we do. More like, “people are always going to try to tear you down, Jill!” Real talk, “haters gon’ hate” is much cooler.

Hmm…

5. Real talk

This is the first cousin of “I’m just sayin” or maybe they’re kissing cousins. Maybe they’re from West Virginia. I don’t know. But I’ve never heard anybody not of the melanin who made a statement using the words “real talk”. It’s not even slang. It’s just a statement indicating that what I just said was a fact. Maybe that’s our problem. We keep having to validate what we say with other validating statements in attempts to validate that which was said that needed validation. I feel like I just watched That’s Not Love & Hip-Hop: Atlanta again. My bad y’all. My bad.

Those are a few joints that I wonder if Black folks are the only ones to use? Are there any others? I’m sure there are. Let’s create a list and send it to the “listserv” for a response.

By the way, go Heat. Thank you and good night.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. IM JUST SAYIN, REAL TALK…CAN I LIVE? DAMN aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

For all of my DMV heads: Next Wednesday, June 27, come hang out at the Penthouse Pool Club on U Street (didn’t even know this existed did you) from 7-10pm and get free food and free X-Rated Fusion liquor. I’ll be there hanging out and this is an invite only affair. You must RSVP and it gets you admittance for yourself and one person. Yeah, it’s that kind of affair. So peep the flyer, RSVP, and I’ll see you next Wednesday for a cool ninja extravaganza. With free stuff. (This is not a VSB event btw, just an event that a VSB will be at.)

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Damon Young

Panama Jackson is pretty fly for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future.

  • Beautifullyhuman

    “B*tch/Ni**a you got me f*cked up!”

    This depends on the situation. Lol

    Btw, Panama…that assembled post-op tranny from Love & Hip-Hop Atlanta is on twitter exposing her mangina and inflated t*tties telling the world to eat her p*ssy. Smh.

    #Heat

    and I’m out.

    • Beautifullyhuman

      …And she’s officially getting dragged (pun intended) by black twitterverse.

      Lol

      • Justmetheguy

        I like the clean version of “you got me f*cked up”. “U got me bent”
        Big Boi even used it on ATLiens. “I heard it’s not where you from, but where you pay rent, then I hear it’s not what you make, but how much you spent, you got me bent, like elbows amongst other things, but I’m not worried. Cause when we stepped in the party like a mouse you scurried.” lol

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          its always a good statement, but its also more docile than the potential firestorm AFTER you hear “you must got me f*cked up”.

          i also like “you must got me twisted”.

    • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

      Well, I’m buying the story that she has a twin. When people that know her from back when says that she’s just an ugly dude, and the pics look a bit too irregular to be a surgeon’s work, I’m letting her live. Cooning for a living is embarassing enough. Why add more stuff?

      • whostolethesoul1

        simply because it adds 1.5 seconds to 14mins of fame…

    • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

      This made me LOL instantly.

    • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

      I saw this, and was disturbed. You answered my question as to whom that was. It was a RT and I was like, “why is she/it/whatever doing this? I got a vagina. I know what it looks like!”

      But do you, I guess.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      i heard about that but never saw the pictures. nor am i looking to see them. i think she’s a woman. just one with a little bit of extra testosterone.

  • 2011k
    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      #wallahmagic

  • http://www.iamyourpeople.com I Am Your People

    It is what it is

    • Latonya

      LOL yep!! Are do what it do shorty! lol

    • KaramelKesh

      LOL! That’s exactly the phrase I was thinking of, too. I definitely say it when I wanna prematurely squash the convo or am pissed all the way off but don’t even wanna waste the breath to further explain my pissedoffedness.

    • http://twitter.com/think2inspire Think2Inspire

      This phrase has got to be a grandparent to #Yolo

      • Justmetheguy

        +1

    • Yoles

      i hate that phrase with such a deep passion.. like if that phrase gang banged my mama & gave her AIDS i would hate it less… seriously what are you saying when you say that? it can not be under any circumstance what is isn’t so you are just wasting air and my ear’s time when you say that shyt to me… Argggghhhhhhhh

      • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

        It means absolutely nothing. It’s a way to end a conversation. “Well, it is what it is. See ya.”

      • Sweet GA Brown

        Actually it is one of my favorite statements to make. It helps me calm down from being pissed. To me it means the an individual cannot help the inevitable so you should just get over it because its pointless to let it consume you.

        You know what I mean???

        • fresh da villain

          It is… what it is…. ahh that’s such a classic statement! here in Brooklyn it means fuck it no more talkin i’ma break yur face when I see yu boi

    • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

      #IIWII

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      i still remember the first time heard somebody say that. i was infuriated bc im like…n*gga…you said absolutely nothign with that statement.

      umpteen years later, i use it.

      hey, i guesss it is what it is. i’m just sayin.

      • Sweet GA Brown

        Because in all actuality it is in fact what it is.

        • Justmetheguy

          +1 I don’t know what they think it is lol

  • Latonya

    Are you making funny of what people from the south would say? LOL

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      absolutely not. i’m from the south. but i live in DC (which ain’t the South) and hear ninjas use these terms quite often.

  • http://www.iamyourpeople.com I Am Your People

    * You ain’t bout this life

    * I keeps it real

    * Keep it 100

    * Ya feel me?

    • Latonya

      * You heared

    • Beautifullyhuman

      Forreal. Lol

    • nillalatte

      LOL.. ya feel me? Ole boy wore my arse out for saying this one! What can I say. Y’all some terrible influence. lmao

    • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com/ Perverted Alchemist

      “* Keep it 100″

      I still can’t believe that there are songs out there with that title…

      • Stephy

        I read that as “keep it one hundred,” unfortunately all I’ve ever heard is “keep it one hunnit.”

    • http://www.twitter.com/Bmorebmw Tentpole

      I hurd dat

      • Sav

        With Hurd being my last name… I have this said to me alot in some form or fashion.

    • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

      “* You ain’t bout this life”

      ANOTHER FAVORITE! Love this one LOOOL

      • Sweet GA Brown

        But what life are they talkin about?

        • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

          you know…THAT life…come on get with it! lol :P

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      i can’t lie…i love tellin’ folks that they ain’t “bout dat life”. i also say “you feel me”.

      though it’s more “feel me??” and you have to say that after stating something deep and profound.

      like, “yo, b*tches ain’t sh*t but hoez and tricks…feel me?”

      or” yo, what if heaven was hell, and hell was heaven? man, that’s crazy? feel me?”

      • Justmetheguy

        Panama must’ve been listenin to Vice Versa (Pastor Troy) this morning lol

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          I wasn’t HOWEVER a long time ago in my apartment building in Maryland, my next door neighbor and another criminal in my building were sitting outside talking so i joined in and these n*ggas were REALLY going in on how deep the song “Vice Versa” was. like…they though that line was SO deep. i just shook my head and vowed to stop smoking.

          which i never started doing in the first place. thats how deep that convo was

          • Justmetheguy

            “my next door neighbor and another criminal in my building”

            BOL! U a trip and a half man lol

  • http://www.iamyourpeople.com I Am Your People

    I’mma just say this…

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      …and imma end mine.

  • Latonya

    * Whatcha you talkin bout
    * It was mad people
    why you be hatin son
    stop all that hatin

  • Beautifullyhuman

    We in this b*tch

    And big ups to ABG…

    B* tches be trippin’

    • MJoy

      big up! big up!

      #ABGNation!!!!!!!

      • Sweet GA Brown

        +1
        Playing the “Take My Panties Off” By Doublemint Twins

        • MJoy

          my booty shawts, booty shawts!

          • Sweet GA Brown

            dont get me started……

            • Breezy

              *chest bump*
              ABG season 2!!!!!!!!!!

  • Latonya

    Girl naw!!!

    • erika

      *sucks teeth*

      Chile please.

  • nillalatte

    I’ll have to think about adding to the list, but you made me think of this lady I encountered on a flight. All but middle seats were full & I got the lovely pleasure of sitting between this lady (who happened to be black & had an attitude). I didn’t want to sit in the middle seat either, but there was no choice. Dis woman proceeded to elbow me several times & didn’t even apologize! She was all uppity with me when I went to sit down & stood in the aisle holding up boarding. She looked at me after I sat down & said “Are we waiting on something?”

    • nillalatte

      Premature post…lol

      I looked at her and said, “Yeah, we’re waiting for you to sit down so the other people can get a seat.” Then she got snatchy and like I said starting elbowing me. After about the 3rd time she put her elbow in my side I said, “You don’t know me.” LOL That was my warning to her that if she didn’t check herself I just might gotten that flight diverted! But, guess what? She got my message and I didn’t get elbowed for the remainder of the flight!

      Oh, and there was this other black lady that chased my arse down in my car because supposedly I almost ‘kilt her’ saying I pulled out in front of her. But, this biatchh is gonna CHASE my arse with my daughter in the car down the street trying to pass me in left turn lanes and shyt. When she rolled down the passenger window, well, I’m thinking this biatchh has a gun, right? Nah, she gonna yell at me, you almost kilt me. Talk about your road rage?! I yelled back at this ignant arse, “Bitoch, take yo’ arse on!” I almost started chasing her arse when she turned into a McD’s parking lot. She just don’t know.

      I think I added to the list just telling my stories. LOL

      • Dignan

        When keeping it real goes wrong.

      • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

        “take yo’ arse on!” is another good one.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        i think you did…b/c “she just don’t know” is definitely a statement in the hood.

        i’m wonder if “Black” statements are just missing proper grammar. maybe thats what does it. they do sound better though. lol.

        • nillalatte

          Grammar maybe. I’ve never really been any good at grammar, but slang in certain situations seems to get my point across — that is, if the person I am speaking to understands slang. Like if I said to my father, you betta check yo’ self, he’d probably look to see if his zipper was left open! lmao! But, my homey’s know different. It’s all in the audience I think. lol

      • nillalatte

        You betta check yo’ self
        I ain’t the one

      • britico chick

        and there’s the classic – you just don’t know. LOL. there are some similarities to the UK. But then I’m not around for fights! Will have to ask those who do

    • nillalatte

      She my bestie!