Dating, Relationships, & Sex, Featured, Theory & Essay

These Are The Tales, The PJ Tales, Part IV

January 2, 2004 with my boy Calvin, one of the people who convinced me to start blogging.

January 2, 2004 with my boy Calvin, one of the people who convinced me to start blogging.

Did I ever tell you about the one time I went to Rochester, NY? I probably didn’t. I’ve been to Rochester, NY, one time in my life. And because I am both genius and legend, I went in February, in the dead of cold in 2004. It was so cold when I landed in the ROC that I immediately regretted my decision. And that was BEFORE the trip went to hell in a handbasket.

How I ended up in Rochester is a story in and of itself. So let’s start there. After I graduated from Morehouse in May of 2001, I, along with one of my best friends from Morehouse, moved to Hyattsville, MD, as we were beginnig graduate school at the University of Maryland – College Park. Now, despite living in Maryland, I managed to make it back to Atlanta at every possible opportunity. If there was a three-day weekend, a long week off, or whatever, I was back in Atlanta. This was for two reasons: 1) I REALLY missed Atlanta; my body was in DC but my heart was in Atlanta; and 2) at the time, I was enamored with a woman who was still living in Atlanta so I’d go back to see her. Because idiot. This was back before I realized that the friend zone was a real place and going out of your way to visit a woman who just wanted to cuddle until the guy she was really interested in came around was a thing. That’s neither here nor there because by 2004 she was DOA anyway.

Anyway, for New Year’s of 2003 going into 2004, I went to Atlanta to hang with my people. It was probably a vainglorious affair because they always are, but I can’t lie, I don’t remember anything about it. I don’t know if that was the time I slept on the toilet from throwing up so much or, you know what? Never mind.

What I do remember is that on January 2, 2004 (a Friday), I went to Gutbusters in the West End to get me a sammich. Now, while I was waiting in line, I see this table with five people. There are three women and two dudes. One of the chicks is giving me the eye but she’s sitting next to a dude and my thought is, either she’s the type that likes to see her man fight or that ain’t her man. Either way, it isn’t worth it for me to find out. She was attractive, but you know…I ain’t got no type…bad biii…never mind. Anybody who has ever been to Gutbusters knows you end up waiting maaaaad long for your sub. It was like waiting for your wings at Stegall’s on Clark’s campus. Except at Stegall’s, if they called your number more than once they were giving your food away.

Stegall’s was trill. RIP Stegall’s (and Audrey’s).

Well, while I’m sitting down waiting, the chick who was eyeing me walks up to me and tells me she thinks I’m cute and probably said something like, “I feel like I’m your rib.” It’s possible that I’m making that up. (I’m making that up.) She does says to me, “if I give you my number, will you use it?”

Bad chick. Approached me. Yes, I will use it. So she writes her number down. We make small talk then I get my food and bounce. She told me her name was Tina and that she lives in Rochester and was down visiting her friend for New Year’s Eve. She tells me to give her a call that night.

Well, I’m in the A with my homeys and we’re kickin’ it for the weekend so I don’t actually call her because liquor. Because love. Not that night anyway. In fact, I didn’t even call her that weekend – which, considering that she lives in upstate New York would have been the ideal time. Nope.

I waited until I got back to DC, like a week later to give her a call. She doesn’t actually remember who I am at this point. I wasn’t offended but I mean, it’s only been a week. How many motherfuckers was she giving her number too? But when I was 24, I never saw a red-flag that I didn’t like so we ended up conversationing fairly frequently. She was interested. I was interested. And this was before camera phones so I only had my memory to go off on how she looked. We talked about everything and nothing and apparently skimmed over important details about life and shit. Well over the course of our conversations we decided that I should go to Rochester to visit her. I’d never been and I was up for adventure. It wasn’t like I was going from Alaska to Mississippi in my car or nothing. And I for damn sure wasn’t driving to Temecula. Naw, a quick flight to Rochester to hang with a chick I’d seen for all of 5 minutes at a sub shop in Atlanta.

Of course I should go.

She made sure to let me know that this wasn’t a trip for sex. She was interested and I was too so I was like, “yeah, cool. No sweat. Sure I’ll fly to upstate NY to spoon. On my dime.” So we kept talking and being entertained by one another and laughing and doing the things you do that make trips to see people you don’t really remember seem like common sense.

So one cold February day, I flew up to Rochester, NY. And THAT’S when shit got weird.

To be continued.

Panama Jackson

Panama Jackson is pretty fly (and gorgeous) for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. He refuses to eat cocaine chicken. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future. You can hit him on his hitter at panamadjackson@gmail.com.

  • PunchDrunkLove

    Well just darn great…..I’m sitting bedside with my mom, in the ICU, laptop connected, reading work emails, sipping coffee, watching Safehouse for the gazillionth time, getting wrapped into the storyline…..and that’s all we get?!?!?

    Was it smashing, cuddling, a dude living there to your surprise, cray??? What???

    • Best wishes to your mom for a speedy recovery.

      • PunchDrunkLove

        Awwww, thanks bunches. I appreciate the well wishes :)

    • Prayers up for Moms…

      But yeah that was some Sopranos like ish Peej

      • PunchDrunkLove

        Thank you, Tristan! I should have seen the drop off coming. It was getting too good.

    • Hope your mom gets out of there. Been there a lot over the last few years. Incredibly emotionally draining and distressing.

      • PunchDrunkLove

        Thank you…..been here so much (it was my dad at first), that I’m more comfy than I should be.

    • panamajackson

      Best wishes to your mother.

      And the rest is coming. It was just too long for one post.

      • PunchDrunkLove

        Thanks…much appreciated. I was blowing the cup, about to take my next sip and………..nothing…nada :)

      • IcePrincess

        Hey P sorry to jump in the thread, but RIP Gutbusters as well. It changed to sum else like a year or 2 ago. I don’t even recall the new name cuz I don’t care about the place now that it’s not GB no more. Their cheese steaks used to be EVERYTHING

    • camilleblu

      punch, i hope your mom makes a full and speedy recovery :)

      • PunchDrunkLove

        Awww, thanks Cami (see that)…..means a lot

        • camilleblu

          you called me cami *opens arms and welcomes punch into the fold*. you know this officially means we get to drag each other but can’t get mad about it #doe…lololol

          • PunchDrunkLove

            You know me so well….hahahahaha…..IT’S OFFICIAL!

    • TeeChantel

      Best wishes to your mother!

      • PunchDrunkLove

        Thank you!!! Get out of the snow!!

    • Lea Thrace

      prayers for momma (and you) sent!

      • PunchDrunkLove

        I receive it!!! We need it!! Thanks bunches!!

    • Rachmo

      I hope your mother recovers quickly!

      • PunchDrunkLove

        Thank you Rach girl (I mean that in a sweet way)….very much appreciated!

        • Rachmo

          LMAO at your parens. :-)

          • PunchDrunkLove

            :)

          • oooh,you said parens. That’s sessy.

    • LMNOP

      Hope your mom gets better soon!

      • PunchDrunkLove

        Thanks….y’all done gave me the warm fuzzies this morning :)

    • KMN

      I hope all is well with your mom…my mother just had a stroke two weeks ago and i know that pain of sitting in the hospital but i also know the pain of being TOO comfy in the hospital (multiple trips and surgeries for my daughter)…you and yours are in my prayers.

      • PunchDrunkLove

        Sorry to hear about your mom…I wish for her (and your daughter) a speedy recovery as well…and strength for you. Yes, yes…at some point you learn the staff and they know you! When they’ll watch your stuff while you make a coffee run…you’ve gotten way too familiar.

        We thought my mom was having mini strokes, and thankfully came because it wasn’t that, but something far more serious….thank the Lord we decided to bring her.

        • Dmaclee

          My mom has had close to 40 surgeries and beat cancer twice. I am all too familiar with hospitals. Prayers to you and your mom.

          • PunchDrunkLove

            Wow…..that’s something to go through….both you and her. I wish your mom all the best and strength for you. Cancer is a beast….my mom had it too…years ago. I lost my sister to cancer in 2000. She was only 38.

        • KMN

          Thanks…mom is better…kid is having surgeries until she stops growing so floor 10 at children’s will know me by name, face, and coffee request lmao
          I’m glad you brought her too…parents can be so STUBBORN when it comes to their health…I’m fine…no you’re not get your behind in the car!! LOL…but i hope it goes well and the drs are able to help her get thru this

          • PunchDrunkLove

            Thanks so….my mom was so sick though. But, we’re here and she’s on the mend, thankfully. I know how that is with a kid too….#beenthere. Will keep you lifted up in prayer.

      • camilleblu

        *sends up prayers for mom and baby girl*

        • KMN

          thanks camilleblu
          my little princess is a trooper…she’s a spoiled minion princess trooper but shes mine and i love the hell outta her…i’d cut one for her lmao

          • camilleblu

            I feel you..#teammom

    • Detroit Skater

      prayer and best wishe for your mother’s recovery.

      • PunchDrunkLove

        Thank you sweets…much appreciated!

    • Yoles

      Sending positivity up for your mother.. Speedy and Complete Recovery!!!

      • PunchDrunkLove

        Thank you very much for the well wishes!!

    • Val

      I hope your mom is feeling better soon.

      • PunchDrunkLove

        Thanks, Val….much appreciated!!!

    • BreezyX2

      Just said a quick prayer for your Momma Punch. Hope all is well :)

      • PunchDrunkLove

        Thank you, thank you very much!

    • uNk

      hope your moms recovers!! prayers going up for you guys

      • PunchDrunkLove

        Much much appreciated

  • Your first mistake was going to upstate New York (defined for these purposes as anything north of I-88) between October and April without any sort of educational or business purpose. That whole region is populated by NYC refugees and people who were stuck up there when the economy collapsed in the 70s (and their descendants). You should have known nothing good was to come of this situation. NOTHING. You did it to yourself Petey Jakes.

    Then again, I was in upstate New York around that same time frame getting turned ALL the way out over by Fort Drum so…

    • Epsilonicus

      You know Rochester is bad when other folks from the Great Lakes region says its too cold

      • I remember going up to Rochester to visit RIT, and the high was 28ºF…on Veteran’s Day. And it was snowing. And they tried to play it off by showing off the system of underground tunnels they use to keep the campus functioning. Negro PLEASE! It’s why after I only got two acceptance letters for college, I *had* to Scarlet. LOL

        • LMNOP

          I briefly seriously considered voluntarily moving to Rochester. Which is pretty fucking crazy.

          • Val

            I like it Upstate. I thought about moving to Albany. Did your considering it have anything to do with Kodak?

            • black-a-rican

              Don’t go to Albany, please, for your sake!

              • Val

                Lol. I’m not. It was dropped off the list.

    • panamajackson

      It was definitely super duper cold. I was definitely over it.

      • I’ve heard people up there say it’s nicer in Alaska during winter.. That should tell you something right there.

    • Val

      “…people who were stuck up there when the economy collapsed in the 70s (and their descendants).”

      True.

  • I like a to cuddle but I wouldn’t even go from Queens to the Bronx just to cuddle much less Maryland to Atlanta or Maryland to Upstate NY.

    • You must not want in bad. It seems like every other dude has a story about the time he traveled at least 100 miles from home to get a lil’ something something. You ain’t doing it right, man.

      • I’m probably spoiled. Every has either flown me out or flown to me.

        • Most people never been to Boston anyway *sips coffee*

          • Closest was Amherst. That’s all I need.

          • LeeLee

            I went once for work. I thought the architecture in the city was beautiful! And those cobblestone side streets! Would love to go back and explore more, ie; restaurants, the JFK library…etc

          • Val

            I have. And to Cambridge as well. I even went to Bull & Finch Pub and to Filene’s.

        • Hmmm…maybe I need to take notes. Though I do have a chick lined up for you. All you have to do is say the word. ;-)

          • Todd dishing assists like

          • Hmm?

            • Would you like a thick older woman with a big ol’ a$$. I mean tiny waist and big, perfectly round booty. Think a White version of Yoles. And she’s looking for younger men. So…like I said. Say the word; :)

              • Not at this moment. Focused on someone else and I’m bad at juggling.

      • panamajackson

        Yeah, I’ve definitely made some long distance treks. Shoot, I remember at one point thinking in Atlanta that the hour drive from my part of ATL to like Dacula wasn’t nothing. That drive could be 2 hours in traffic. And it was worth it.

  • TeeChantel

    My heart dropped at the end… lol, thanks PJ. You can’t do me like that. Not on a Monday. When there’s snow coming down. And I’m in the office. With a ton of emails to answer and a couple of fires to put out. Thanks…

    • PunchDrunkLove

      You must be in one of those places where it’s business as usual during inclement weather. Cause guuuurl, I betnot see one snowflake. Imma be holed up in the house…for days.

      • TeeChantel

        haha, I’m right with you. I’m leaving in t-minus 2 hours. I hate snow.

        • PunchDrunkLove

          LOLOLOL….take it to the house :)

      • MeridianBurst

        lmao. Also. I didn’t even go in today cuz I didn’t wanna risk getting caught at work for #Snowmageddon. I’m nervous mayne.

        • PunchDrunkLove

          Exactly. If the forecast predict inclement weather, I’m not moving. Plus, my manager and our exec team listens for this stuff. We usually get notified the night before to stay in.

          • MeridianBurst

            It depends on the severity for me. We’re only supposed to get 1-2 inches but it’s been raining for days now and with other places getting as much snow as they are? They say 1-2 inches and we get 8 but I’m at work. Nope! Staying home.

            • PunchDrunkLove

              One snowflake…..#teamaintmoving

            • uNk

              *checks iphone weather app*

              Gotta love the west coast!!

        • I’m getting emails about “don’t think about calling out Friday” cuz they know we bout to be off the next 48 hours

          • MeridianBurst

            You live in Boston? I’d just have to take a write up because unless you’re stocked up and providing heated places to sleep, I’m not risking it.

            • I’m out at 3 the snow isn’t projected to start til the lady evening I should be fine

              • MeridianBurst

                Ah, that’s good then. At least there’s some cushion there.

              • I’m looking out the window, and it’s snowing now. Been snowing in NYC good for a solid 2 hours now.

                • MeridianBurst

                  Don’t you work from home though? I thought you owned like a genetic lab consulting business or something.

                  • This is true. Sadly, my daughter isn’t homeschooled. On the bright side, if I can somehow drug my daughter, I can bang out some fresh proposals that have been requested. w00t! w00t!

                    EDIT: And I did get laid off from my 9 to 5 under…strange circumstances. But that’s another story.

                    • MeridianBurst

                      ^_^

                      My sister used to give her kids Benadryl to calm them down. It was pretty funny.

                    • KMN

                      shooooooooooooot don’t sleep on Benadryl (yall see what i done there? lol). I KEEPS Benny at the house…half a teaspoon. someone on a hunnid because they were handing out cupcakes at school and Noni decided to give her even MORE sugar? Go get Benny…not enough to knock you out but enough to get you sleepy faster

                    • AlwaysCC

                      yay for you. benadryl has the opposite effect on my kid. #sadmom

                    • KMN

                      im sorry :(…i mean you can swap Benny for Henny but i don’t know if that’s CPS approved so…
                      Yeah lol

                    • HeyBooHey

                      It is if you just rub a bit of the Henny on their gums. My grandma did it and we turned out ok….

                    • AlwaysCC

                      i know, right?!?! i thought about spiking his hot chocolate the other day…

                    • KMN

                      hey if you don’t tell i won’t tell lmao

    • Rachmo

      I’m in the office looking outside like…er how am I getting home.

    • panamajackson

      The rest is coming. It just started to get too long for one post.

      • TeeChantel

        :-)

  • LMNOP

    Do we find out the rest of what happened today?

    Also, this makes me feel a lot better about my life.

    • How does it make you feel better about your life?

      • LMNOP

        Because I never went to Rochester in the dead of winter to see someone I met once in a sandwich shop. And most things I’ve done that leave me thinking “wtf was I thinking?” are not quite as crazy as this.

  • Rachmo

    “Naw, a quick flight to Rochester to hang with a chick I’d seen for all of 5 minutes at a sub shop in Atlanta.”- Speechless

    • I once drove 3 1/2 hours to go to the graduation of a dude I had only met once. :::dons halo:::

      • Though methinks you shared plenty of your…knowledge with him. #seewhatididthere

        • mmmmm, I won’t spoil your fun with the trufe. lol

      • Rachmo

        I’m really thinking hard here and trying to remember if I traveled far for a dude. I was ridiculous in my 20s so it had to have happened. *Goes off to ponder*

  • I don’t know this life, i host, I’m lazy. Also no way I’m flying anywhere in the winter mother nature is a b tech sometimes.

    • Lea Thrace

      I’ll fly south. On someone else’s dime. But that’s about it.

      • I don’t pay for delivery either.

        • camilleblu

          trizzy is trill

  • Lea Thrace

    So PT 2 is coming in the next hour right? Cause this bet not be a month long series. I am too cold and to cranky to be left hanging like this!

    Get it together Peej!

    • Let the anticipation build! Gotta leave em wanting more and PJ’s stories rarely disappoint.

      • Lea Thrace

        That’s what makes it hard. The waiting.

        TWSS

      • the only thing I like to let build is the BEAT (bish). everything else, I want rightnah! lol

        • Rachmo

          +1

        • BreezyX2

          BOL!!! Nuttin like waiting on dat base to drop.

    • panamajackson

      It won’t be here in the next hour. But it’s finished. It’s on the way.

  • MzzPeaches

    Resident ATLien here!

    First of- Gutbusters is the shiz-nye-eee! I gained about 10lbs one summer doing my internship @ Morehouse School of Medicine, cause being car-less my lazy ass was not about to walk in the summer sun to get Popeyes or Churches or anything out the mall food court up the street- and Gutbusters being right there just made sense.

    Second, this feels like a branch of from the making bad decisions post. I can’t read to see how it goes downhill from there. Am I the only one who can sympathize with “It’s all fun and games until somebody buys a plane/train/bus ticket to visit?”

  • Lea Thrace

    Wait. I just noticed this was part IV. When did Pts I-III get published?!

    • I think parts I-III were about how he missed numerous chances to get to know a girl he met while on campus at Morehouse.

      • Lea Thrace

        oh yeah. That makes sense.

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