The World’s Most Overrated Things, Ranked, From Least Overrated To Most Overrated » VSB

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The World’s Most Overrated Things, Ranked, From Least Overrated To Most Overrated

(Remember, overrated doesn’t mean bad. Just that the perception of a certain thing is greater than its reality.)

10. Sweet Potato Pumpkin Pie

(I refuse to delineate between the two because they’re the exact same fucking thing.)

9. Spleens

(Are supposed to protect you from infections. But niggas die from infections every day. And I have the sniffles. Someone at Team Spleen is stealing paychecks.)

8. Being From Somewhere

7. Yield Signs

(They’re just stop signs with bad self-esteem.)

6. The Truth

5. Dreams

(Don’t actually exist. Or mean anything. But the great ones make you pissed they’re not real and the bad ones make you scared to sleep. Fuck dreams. I’ll punch a dream in the throat.)

4. The Future

3. Fellatio

(At its very best, is just a hopeful but inaccurate facsimile of actual vagina. It’s Seth Curry to Steph Curry. It’s coital Splenda.)

2. Conversations With People

(99% of the people you’ve ever talked to either don’t give a damn about what you have to say or stopped giving a damn three minutes after you were done saying it.)

1. White people

Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a columnist for GQ.com And he's working on a book of essays to be published by Ecco (HarperCollins). Damon is busy. He lives in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes. Reach him at damon@verysmartbrothas.com. Or don't. Whatever.

    • FarbissinaPunim

      I had an old white couple come up to me at a Thanksgiving function talmbout Patti Pies as if I was going to jump up for joy and co-sign their terrible attempt at intercultural relations. Them pies are OVERRATED indeed.

      • miss t-lee

        Although I never tasted it, I just figured it was folks who hadn’t ever had good pie before that got all excited over them.

        • Cleojonz

          Yup. Why one has never passed this lips and never will.

          • miss t-lee

            HA! *daps*

      • They like bland food so they probably legitimately thought the pies were amazing.

        • miss t-lee

          and half the folks weren’t even cooking them before eating…lol

          • TeeChantel

            Wait, Patti pies cook? Man, we got a pie one year to see if her pies lived up to the hype. My mom and I left it in the oven for at least 30 minutes and sh*t never even browned. We knew it was nothing but pure fakery. One and done.

            • miss t-lee

              According to the package you’re supposed to cook them, but I wouldn’t know…lol
              If it wasn’t browning though that sh*t was definitely A-1 fakery.

              • TeeChantel

                Steak sauce, T. The edges never browned. And the pie filling was like heated up baby food. After we pulled the pie out of the oven we both said, “nope, let’s throw this in the trash.”

                • miss t-lee

                  HA!!!
                  Sounds like that was the best place for it.

                • Lea Thrace

                  that sounds heinous.

          • mr. steal your costco samples

            you supposed to cook them? I legit thought you’d just buy and eat in the car.

            • miss t-lee

              See…

            • PDL – Cape Girl Shero

              I just passed out almost

        • Yahmo Bethere

          YES!! If you’ve never had nutmeg, the pie would amaze you.

      • mr. steal your costco samples

        I think I’d like them but like just in the way I like general sweet things like a snickers bar

      • Moneypenny copped a Patti pie just to see what was up. We tried it and came to the conclusion that if a person thinks a Patti pie is all that then your mama, aunties, and grand mama had weak pie games.

        • Trill Mickelson

          My sister talked this joint up and brought them for Christmas dinner last year. I took one bite and just looked at her like “we were raised better than this, b” and went back to eating grandmama’s pie.

      • Deeds

        They’re fine for a $3, frozen pie from Wal-Mart. If you’re comparing them to what mama and ‘nem make, then definitely nah.

      • SororSalsa

        Some friends and I did a Patti Pie tasting, just to see what it was about. It made me seriously question the judgment of anyone who thinks that they’re good.

      • pls

        I don’t get it. The pie is less than 5 bucks and sold in walmart. I could understand if she was tryna be bougie and overprice but…why ya’ll mad?

    • miss t-lee

      If you were eating Patti Pies willingly, you get what you deserve.

      • Elissa Malaikah

        But that apple cobbler though…just sayin

        • miss t-lee

          Patti had more than one dessert?

          • Lea Thrace

            they expanded the fcukery maam. there is all kinds of Patti branded garbage desserts out there now.

            • miss t-lee

              This is how I know I’m spoiled.
              I haven’t even had to know that these items were being made.

            • MilaXX

              sold at Walmart so, ’nuff said.

          • TeeChantel

            She needs to stop.

            • miss t-lee

              LMAO
              Let Patti get them coins girl.

          • SororSalsa

            She’s got Patti Pies, Patti Cakes and now, Patti Cobblers.

            • miss t-lee

              I had no idea til now. I thought she was all about the pies.

            • Maestro G

              ‘Patti Cakes’? For real? Ok then…

        • Apple cobbler? No ma’am.

          • Vanity in Peril

            *guffaws

            That’s what I thought as https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b4264c260b679f807af7faf0395cf80eb195c6865b492569e96b0bb8498ed2e1.png well. Who make apple cob…nawl.

          • miss t-lee

            Ain’t nothing wrong with apple cobbler.
            Blackberry either…I want it scratch made though.

            • My cobbler needs to be peach.

              • miss t-lee

                Mine doesn’t. I’ve had them all.
                They’re all good money.

              • Aye Bee

                This is the only cobbler I indulge in. I pass on the rest. Made one this past Thanksgiving with the Vanilla Crown. It was the first dessert to disappear. I had to make one the next day so we could have one for the house. That is my new fav!

            • LeeLee

              I make a mean apple cobbler! And there is this restaurant chain called Great American restaurants or something like that. Anyways, one of their spots is called SweetWater Tavern and they have a deep dish apple pie (with a cobbler-like topping). Can’t even lie……its so good, I’ve ordered it by itself for carryout. The waitress was like, “Is that all? Just the pie.” “Just the pie ma’am, thanks!” Lol

        • SororSalsa

          You can make your own in less than 30 minutes…I did it for Thanksgiving. No way I’m giving my pie money to Patti.

          • rahshedah

            The deets please. : )

          • pls

            What my aunt patti do to you?

      • BABY!!!

        • Tasha Lawrence?

          Bye!!!

        • miss t-lee

          HA!

    • Byrdjb

      I love Pattie Labelle but her pies are definitely overrated!

    • JBusy

      Last year, as I searched high and low in my uber white town, I couldn’t find a Patti Pie to save my life. The absence of a Patti Pie sobered me and I realized that folks were going crazy over a Wal Mart sweet potato pie…

    • TeeChantel

      Yes, we certainly can add pattie pies to the list. Straight trash.

      • Negro Libre

        It is but black people are buying it or at least that’s what Walmart thinks. No wonder it looked like Walmart bought up almost all the ad-space during the Soul Train Awards.

        • TeeChantel

          Black people are buying it because they don’t have grandma or mama or auntie making it from scratch. They need to do better.

        • KNeale

          Black people are buying it of course. This conversation is funny but untrue. Black folks eat the patti pies. And they’re not “trash” they’re just average. Its like when you get food from the hot bar at the grocery store. Its not the throw down meal you get on thanksgiving but its good enough to eat and the fact that I’m not cooking makes it even better.

          • Negro Libre

            The Big Mac of potato pies basically.

            • Lea Thrace

              the accuracy of this comment!

            • SororSalsa

              That is such an apt description. Patti Pies are just like Big Macs….filled with preservatives and regret.

      • Elissa Malaikah

        Unt uh….and let Glory greens go? That’s an abomination right there

        • TeeChantel

          If you’re buying Glory Greens, I seriously feel bad for you and your toilet.

          • SororSalsa

            #Dead.

        • MilaXX

          I’d rather folks buy Glory greens than those Neiman Marcus rip off greens for $66 a pop.

        • Glory greens should be banned.

        • FeeFee

          Wow! I love Glory greens. That’s the only way I’ll eat them. Ya’ll making me feel bad.

    • NonyaB?

      I don’t eat potato or pumpkin pie but the best thing about the Patti edition is this:
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQRwFn7WPk8

    • Other_guy13

      Yup

  • Jennifer

    This might be the “Get Off My Lawn!”-iest post I’ve ever read on VSB. For that reason alone, I’ll excuse your sweet potato pie slander.

  • L8Comer

    Well, this was provocative.

    I disagree with #8. What if you’re from outer space? That would be so cool. (Do u guys believe in aliens?)

    also, I don’t think the truth, the future, or conversations (with the right people) are overrated.

    Sweet potato pumpkin pie however is my favorite overrated thing here. I def agree.

    • Lea Thrace

      “Sweet potato pumpkin pie” does not compute.

      separately both pies are hot garbage so why would one combine it into one super garbage pie?

      I is confused!

      • L8Comer

        I think he conflated them to say that they’re basically the same thing lol. Which I agree with cuz they taste the same to me.

    • Blueberry01

      “That would be so cool. (Do u guys believe in aliens?)”

      Well Donald Trump is our president…

  • I’d like to add Flat Tummy Tea to the list. ?

    • NonyaB?

      AKA the Sh*t-your-azz-out tea.

      • miss t-lee

        Might as well just drink some smooth move and call it a day.

        • ??

          • miss t-lee

            Just trying to save folks some money.

  • Jennifer

    “8. Being From Somewhere” is the best icebreaker known to man. I had a convo with a Post Item #1 at Dave and Buster’s last night. When we realized he was from Dallas and I was from Houston, it made our interaction so much easier. I know he probably voted for Trump, but I wasn’t trying to get into all of that. I just enjoyed the convo as I consumed my neon-colored drink.

    • FarbissinaPunim

      Wait! This was not a melaninated Texan, I assume. Cuz Black people who voted for Trump only exist on CNN and Fox when they’re faking “objectivity.”

      • Jennifer

        Your assumption is correct. He struck up the convo with me.

    • miss t-lee

      Yup. Knowing someone else is from Texas, when you’re away from Texas is so clutch.

      • MsCee

        Sings *riding thru Texas…ridin’ ridin’ thru Texas)*

        • miss t-lee

          Who dat? Mayne! Who dat talkin’ diine?!

        • RaeRae

          Allllready!

    • Talking to folks from Texas is akin to speaking with Marines or Raiders fans- it will come up sooner or later.

      • Lea Thrace

        facts

      • miss t-lee

        You ain’t lying…lol

      • Maestro G

        As a former Marine who has been in Texas for over twenty-five years, sho you right.

  • cyanic

    Someone hasn’t experience multiples from head.

    • JBusy

      Was thinking the same thing. As a guy, I don’t know if I’ll ever climb that mountain top, so it I’d confirm and agree with #3…I don’t know if the woman who lost count of o’s would feel the same way.

      • miss t-lee

        She wouldn’t.

    • blueevey

      How?!
      (Assuming you meant for guys)

      • cyanic

        Because if someone were to bring him to that place via head he’d have a different opinion. Now most men don’t experience multiples from it anyway but certainly feel they could when it’s good.

        • blueevey

          So how does one get to multiples?

          • cyanic

            Chemistry.

    • TeeChantel

      :-)

  • TJ

    I haven’t argued with a single white person on Facebook in two years. I’m blissful.

    And #3…yes lawd.

  • Dustin John Seibert

    Imma have to ask that you stop throwing all this beej shade.

    When done well – an equitable hand/saliva balance, proper hand placement on the shaft, liberal use of the base of the tongue, an attention to inhaling that rivals Cheech & Chong, NO EFFIN’ TEETH, willingness to swallow and clean what comes out, etc. – dome can definitely exceed the real thing.

    In other words, if you’re deucing on head, someone hasn’t shown you The Light yet.

  • miss t-lee

    “Someone at Team Spleen is stealing paychecks.”

    *cackling*

    “10. Sweet Potato Pumpkin Pie- (I refuse to delineate between the two because they’re the exact same f*cking thing”

    Yeah no.
    They’re not.

    “At its very best, is just a hopeful but inaccurate facsimile of actual vagina.”

    Bless your heart.

  • I will fight someone that says Sweet Potato Pie is the same as Pumpkin.

    And by fight I mean I will question your ability to differentiate flavors and what kind of false reality you willingly live in, but half-heartedly shrug to your opinion (wrong as it is).

    But besides that, all of this is truth. Lmao @ coital Splenda.

    • miss t-lee

      “I will fight someone that says Sweet Potato Pie is the same as Pumpkin.”

      Also, because they’re two very different things.

      • MsCee

        As much as I agree..whats crazy is if you look at a can on Pumpkin Pie mix…there is no actual pumpkin…its all mashed yams. (Yes, I know yams and sweet potatoes are different but still)

        • miss t-lee

          Yeah, I read something similar.
          However, I’ve had pumpkin pies made from fresh pumpkin, and there is most certainly a difference.

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