The World’s 10 Greatest Enunciating-Ass Negroes, Ranked » VSB

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The World’s 10 Greatest Enunciating-Ass Negroes, Ranked

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10. Pusha T

No one has ever made crack speak so crisp. You listen to him say “Arm & Hammer and a Mason jar, that’s my dinner date” and you want to diagram a sentence.

9. Tika Sumpter

Perhaps the world’s most underrated enunciator. She’s the Paul Millsap of enunciation.

8. Phylicia Rashad

I heard her speak on a panel at the August Wilson Center for African American culture once, and every word she spoke sounded like money. Like, she’d say “May I have a pretzel, please?” and I’d hear “there’s 50 years of training and 30 million dollars behind this vowel sound.”

7. Mike Colter 

Enunciates on screen like someone who thinks they’re doing a voiceover and hasn’t yet realized we can see him too.

6. Michelle Obama

When they go low, we pronounce every damn letter in “high.”

5. Viola Davis

Has perfected the enunciation of shame. She can enunciate a word and make you reevaluate your life and question your entire reason for living. When she enunciates, niggas find God.

4. Micheal Eric Dyson

Is easily the Guinness world record holder in fully articulated syllables per second.

3. Joe Morton

Regularly makes syllables his bitch. Like, syllables see Joe Morton coming and they avert their eyes and cross the street. He treats syllables like they were talking shit about him in a GroupMe chat and he just found out about it.

2. Courtney B. Vance

I’d love to be a fly on the wall in the Vance/Bassett household, just to hear Courtney say “we ran out of toilet paper” or “pass me my gout ointment and a straw” and make it sound profound as fuck.

1. Angela Bassett

This is why she still looks so good. All of that stretching and straining from enunciating is keeping her in great shape.

Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a columnist for GQ.com And he's working on a book of essays to be published by Ecco (HarperCollins). Damon is busy. He lives in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes. Reach him at damon@verysmartbrothas.com. Or don't. Whatever.

  • Rashard Leonard

    Y’all realy gon leave out my boy TI?

    • LadySiriboe

      Good nite.

    • Sweet Potato Kai ?

      And Drake!

      • LadySiriboe

        He used to articulate real good until he moved over to them non bathing azz folks records.

    • Tam

      Might as well add Fiddy

    • she

      Clifford Harris hahaha

    • Val

      Yes.

    • Brother Mouzone

      This list had a height requirement.

  • Looking4Treble

    #4 is right on point. He11, they all are. Ever hear Michael Eric Dyson say the word ‘particular’?

  • Yahmo Bethere

    CCH Pounder!

  • Willa Francine Carter

    Yes, you did neglect to add Mr. Freeman and Mr. Jones although I cannot lie, I DO LIVE for a Joe Morton soliloquy on Scandal!!

  • See. Until you recognize THE Sheryl Lee Ralph, you ain’t about this enunciation life!

    • Darkchloe144

      How soon we forget.

  • siante

    I really like the way Killa Cam enunciates his words/lyrics– most ny mixtape rappers from that era….. most ny cats for the matter- I get a kick out of the accent. oh & Andre 3000.

  • Wanna get your feelings hurt? Listen to Ms Jessye Norman !

    • “M”

      DIVA

  • porqpai

    Waymint, we just gonna ignore the King of the Reading Rainbow? Where is the love for Levar Burton?

    • LMNOP

      Reading Rainbow! That was my show. Kids these days if you put on Reading Rainbow they’re like “really??? This guys just going to read me a story? Where are the high energy singing and dancing animated animals? You call this TV?!?”

      • miss t-lee

        You know he has a new podcast right?

        • LMNOP

          No I had no idea. I never really listen to podcasts, but I’ll have to check that out.

          • miss t-lee
            • LMNOP

              Oh wow, it’s just him reading stories? This is the best thing ever.

              • miss t-lee

                Indeed.

              • Mary Burrell

                I listen to audio books i love Audible.

            • Mary Burrell

              It’s great i love i can’t stop talking about it.

            • “M”

              I need this in my life
              :D

          • Mary Burrell

            I am so hooked on them i listen to them more than i watch televison now.

        • SororSalsa

          He was on The Read last week. It was nice to hear Crissle & Kid Fury stan about someone other than Beyonce.

          • Mary Burrell

            I love The Read and it was a great interview Crissle and Kid Fury did with him.

            • SororSalsa

              Girl, me too! I also loved their interview with Issa Rae.

              • Mary Burrell

                They are so ffun to listen to.

          • miss t-lee

            Oh word?
            I can’t do the Read. I’ve loved Fury since way back. his co-host,not. so much.

            • SororSalsa

              The unreal amount of Beyonce stanning makes my teeth itch, but otherwise it’s one of my favorite podcasts.

              • miss t-lee

                Yeah…I can’t with all of the stanning.

              • Mary Burrell

                That Beyoncé worship is annoying I do hate that.

            • I don’t like them. Just too over the top. Didn’t know who she was until she rustled the wrong blogger’s jimmies and he returned fire with personal information.

              • miss t-lee

                I remember that. Those receipts… Ooh wee ?
                I followed Kid Fury back during his YouTube days,,I’m happy at how far he’s come.

      • Mary Burrell

        I love his podcast Levar Burton Reads: Short Stories Just For You. He’s excellent.

    • cysinblack

      I can do anything. It’s in a book come take a look a reading rainbow.

    • GenevaGirl

      He does audiobooks. He read The Watsons Go to Birmingham, 1963 and he was wonderful. My family loved it. Great book to listen in the car on long road trips with the kids. Can’t recommend it highly enough.

    • truthseeker2436577@yahoo.com

      Reading Rainbow was a great show. I watched it as a child. That show was filed with exciting, learning, and a diverse amount of traveling too.

  • Glo

    Kerry Washington over-encunicates on Scandal, and (much as I love her) it drives me slightly crazy.

    Joe Morton also over-enunciates, but the content of his monologues make him well worth listening to.

  • Aintnuthinwrongwitcornbread

    Keith David? President Palmer (Dennis Haysbert no longer exists)?

    • Keith David is another a$$hole celebrity … he likes white chicks too… He tried to blow us off when we said hello… we weren’t asking for an autograph or picture just saying hello because we were all standing in the same confined space.. he rolled his eyes and grabbed his white girl tighter..

      I said, “Niqqa please.. NOBODY EVEN KNOWS YOUR NAME… You are only known as the niqqa from ‘Dead Presidents’! ”

      My sister went to her knees laughing so hard.. She was like, “I can’t take your ignant ayus nowhere!”

      We still crack up about that!

      • Val

        Lol

      • Aintnuthinwrongwitcornbread

        I only know him cuz he voiced Goliath from the Gargoyles cartoon.

        Dayum you went in!

        • If you could see how he looked at us…. he is lucky I didn’t talk about his mama. He, legit, looked disgusted when we literally said, “Hey..how are you?”

          FOH

      • cysinblack

        I love you so much.

        • I love you right back!! When I wrote that.. I laughed all over again.. that will never NOT be funny!!!!

      • grownandsexy2

        Lololol with his fugly ayus

        • RIGHT!!! Like Niqqa nobody knows your IMDB.. sitchoassdownsomewhere!

      • Seymore Cases

        Okay we need more celebrity updates. Like who’s cool in person, who are the d**ches, who’s really energetic etc?

        • Charlito Brown

          They say never meet your “heroes” in real life lol.

          • cysinblack

            I met David Lynch and I think I disappointed him.

            • lmao!

            • grownandsexy2

              Why?

              • cysinblack

                I snuck took a picture with him where the rules of the autograph signing was no pictures.

        • Tom Hanks was REALLY NICE! He offered us his chairs and asked if we were having a good time.

        • Redman is hilarious… We met him at Freaknik in like 93 or 94… He had on a puffy vest and a hoodie… it was 182 degrees olut and he liked my cousin who was like 6 feet and a pear shape… he made a joke about her height and she clowned his attire… he was cool af.

          • cysinblack

            Redman is the ultimate east coast thug light skin.

          • what were you doing at Freaknik in 93 and 94

            • Nothing. absolutely NADA.. I had a boyfriend… he met me down there. lol

            • Brother Mouzone

              I was thinking that same thang..lol.

          • Seymore Cases

            Always wondered how Redman was in person. It was hard to tell based on just watching TV and hearing the music. That’s good to know. Feel like he has no problem flirtin’ and mackin when the mood suits him.

        • grownandsexy2

          Lynn Whitfield is a sweetheart, very personable. Met her in the French quarter during Essence one year

          • Seymore Cases

            I will always confuse Lynn Whitfield and Alfre Woodard…not sure why though.

            • grownandsexy2

              Yeah, they look very different

        • grownandsexy2

          Met the O’jays after I beeped the hayle outta the horn going across the Jersey bridge. They rolled down the window. I hollered “pull over at the next exit.” lol They actually pulled over. They were here for a concert which I had tickets for. They were cool as hayle. Told them I was their biggest fan.

        • miss t-lee

          All super cool and nice in person: Bun B, Scarface, Slim Thug, Vince Young, George Gervin, David Banner, Cee-Lo, Big Gipp, Kid Capri, Neil DeGrasse Tyson.

          My sister met Beyonce back during her DC days, and said she was really sweet.

          • Lea Thrace

            Seconding NDTyson. Still one of my top fave celebs to meet. Lady Gaga is bout the sweetest person you will ever meet. As is The Rock.

          • Seymore Cases

            TX hospitality.

            • miss t-lee

              That could have a lot to do with it.

        • Val

          I saw Bill Cosby at JFK airport once…nevermind.

          • grownandsexy2

            Bill is cool if no drinks are in the area.

          • Seymore Cases

            You should have offered HiM a drink ;-)

        • VeronicaMars

          I met a lot during my hospitality days. The first black card I touched was by a great NFL player. He was pretty cool with his then fiancee.
          Mr. Olmos was a cool guy.
          I don’t think I’ve ever came across a mean celebrity. During the Casey Anthony trial, the big name news reporters were rude at times. Ryan was the coolest. And Geraldo was cool.

          • Cheech

            Wait — there are actual black cards?

            • VeronicaMars

              AmEx black card.

              • Cheech

                I figured. I was just funnin.

          • Seymore Cases

            Edward James Olmos always seemed down. I didn’t know he was helping LA clean up the city after the riots until I watched some CNN documentary on the 90’s.

        • Cheech

          In person, Will Smith is really funny. I’m always surprised that people are not surprised by this.

          • grownandsexy2

            And really friendly.

            • Cheech

              Yup.

            • Seymore Cases

              He seems really friendly. Not quite cocky, but very confident yet not a d-bag.

              • grownandsexy2

                Yep, everything you said. A friend of mine likes to brag that she babysat for Will when he was a toddler. Another friend closed a real estate deal for Will’s mom some years ago and Will flew him out to Vegas to help celebrate her birthday. Friend said everything was first-class, airline tickets, limo at the airport, the suite he stayed. He said the party was lit.

        • Diana Ross, Alex English, and Aaron McGruder were nice. Judge Joe Brown likes to hear his own voice.

      • Kas

        I had to Google Keith David. Never trust someone with two first names.

        • Google “Dude from Dead Presidents”

          That’s how I found out his name! ????

        • Mary Burrell

          Greenleaf

      • Brown Rose

        Don’t know who he was either. Just remember NBUSHE Wright.

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