The Whitest Thing We’ve Seen This Week: The Palin Family Snow Mobile Party Brawl
Sarah Palin (Justin Sullivan/Getty Images)
We’re equal opportunity assholes at VSB. So while we’ll continue to recognize lovely examples of peak Blackness, peak Whiteness deserves some love as well. And this story about the Palin family getting into a brawl — first alerted to us by
@MsElleAyeGee — easily qualifies.
1. Sarah Palin, easily one of the six or seven Whitest women of all time, was involved.
2. The Palin family, which includes actual people actually named Track, Bristol, Willow, and Piper was involved.
3. It happened in Alaska, which was the second Whitest state in America for a two decades (Maine is first), and became the single Whitest after Mario Chambers graduated high school.
4. It happened at a motherfucking Snowmobile party. Which, admittedly, sounds like the awesomest party ever. I want my next birthday party to be a motherfucking Snowmobile party. But, it’s still some White people shit.
5. It was alcohol-fueled. Now, as anyone who’s ever been fortunate enough to drink with White people knows, they tend to be very generous — basically, very non-African-Americanly — with the spirits. It’s almost like “getting you drunk as hell” becomes their own personal edict, a mission pursued with the same vigor as Henry Jones searching for the Holy Grail.
But, one negative is that, occasionally, they will fight. And it will be the best fight you’ve ever witnessed in your life. And no one ever seems to get seriously injured (or shot).
6. The Whitest thing of all? No one got arrested.