The #vsblockout Is Over (We Think)

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They love me. They love me not.

Hi.

My name is Panama Jackson. You may remember from such websites as VSB BP (before pr0n) or VSB BTSSFU (before the site started f*cking up). I have a partner named Champ and a bawse named Liz. We write ’bouts relationships. race, pop culture…you know, the usual.

Enough of the intros. It feels good to be home. You may be wondering, just what the f*ck happened to the site, and what’s with all of the issues we’ve been having around here? Or you may have left a comment saying “VSB used to be dope. It ain’t what it used to be around here.”

Boo hoo ni**a.

Let’s rap a taste. So what was Gucci my ninja? Well it turns out we got robbed. Actually we got hacked. Some big evil bad man (think Dr. Evil with an afro wig and some chopsticks) came into our lifespace and f*cked our site the f*ck up. Got real belligerent and ignant. Just disrespectful. The site got overloaded and crashed multiple times. Every time we thought it was fixed (due to some handy work by Liz) we got inundated with more f*cksh*t. It’s like we were fat because we couldn’t stop eating, and we couldn’t stop eating because we were fat. I love lamp.

The thing that was most annoying for us was that we knew that folks were getting pissed and frustrated. And so were we. Champ and I nearly drove Liz to a permanent retirement no less that 5 times. Liz personally told me to go f*ck myself at least 78 times. And that was in one convo. Plus, everybody kept telling us on Twitter, email, real life (for real, somebody stopped me in the street and was like “yo, your site keeps messing up P”) and on Facebook. Trust me, we knew. Thing is, we couldn’t really take the site down because then we couldn’t make sure our fixes were working. Again, fat = eating, eating = fat.

Not to mention that the site was giving some folks viruses and sending OTHER people to pr0n sites. Unintentionally. Thing is, we all like some pr0n around here. We just want to view it because we want to…which means on our own time.

Raise your hand if you got sent to pr0n at work?

*raises hand*

Le sigh.

We even had to bring in somebody else to help out who may have unlocked the key to the chastity belt to the stars. So hopefully we’re all to the good right now. Of course, we’re monitoring the site to make sure things are running. But we just wanted to let everybody know that…

…a muthaf*cka apologize. DAAAAAAMN.

So what exactly were we doing during the #vsb lockout? Allow me to inform you:

Panama started the world’s first for-profit non-profit, dedicated to selling NFL apparel to help pay the bills of NBA players. He’s gangbusters right now. He also got into that sh*t that George Harrison was on when he wrote “Here Comes The Sun” and “Something”. He also started a support group for people that cannot believe Taylor Swift won the AMA for Artist of the Year, co-founded with Taylor Swift.

Champ. Oh Champ. Champ became angry, bitter, disjointed, and quite crotchety. He bought a bunch of Bill Cosby sweaters and started watching Reed Between The Lines and rocking back and forth in a rocking chair lamenting the old days. He could be heard yelling “f*ck Theo” a lot. He also started an onion garden because onions have layers like Shrek.

Liz. Well, last I heard Liz joined a convent for a day after witnessing a murder in Reno. She quit though when they told her that she couldn’t Tweet all day. Liz then decided to shut up Panama and The Champ by fixing the site and telling them to kick rocks or she’d erase the entire archives. She’d do, she’d do it, yeah we know she’d do it, cuz she’s a te-te-te-tech junkiiiiiiiiiie.

Anyway, we’ve all given up our other lives and come back to dust off VSB and hopefully kick things into high gear. Thanks for sleepwalking with the kids, and we should be back in effect mode like Al B. Sure.

RIP Heavy D.

Welcome back, again. Hopefully we don’t have too many more issues.

So…what did you do during the #vsblockout?

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. BACK LIKE COOKED CRACK aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

 

199 thoughts on “The #vsblockout Is Over (We Think)”

  6. LMFAO Panama, I just….lol luv you

    But yay to the site being back up! I never got sent to a pr0n site or a virus but I could never get the page to load. I was getting antsy too! Not being able to lurk was depressing me (mostly because with the absence of that activity I realized just how much I lay around and do jack shit.) Ehhh….

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  8. “Raise your hand if you got sent to pr0n at work?”

    \(._.) Ya’ll don’t know HOW frantic and quickly I clicked that X, because knowing my luck, my bossman woulda came around the corner at that VERY moment.

    “So…what did you do during the #vsblockout?”

    What did I do? You, Panama. I feel dirty and used. Hmm, well, after shaking in the corner of the corner for a few days, I decided to go to VSB Rehab With Dr. Drew Deez (this is Dr. Drew’s second cousin removed), which will premiere on TVOne next year in the spring (#axeaboutme) and it features several over VSBs/VSSs. Then after I wrapped up that series, I got my own spin-off reality show picked up by a major network called, “The Cheeks Come Out At Night.” We’re filming that now…

    Welcome back, Kotter(s).

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  9. I’m embarrassed to say that I checked back frequently for updates while battling pesky Haitian mosquitoes and dodging overzealous missionaries.

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  14. Sorry, random sidebar, but is it possible to have the posts numbered again? It’s freaking me out. I keep looking for it, but it’s never there. :(

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  15. For the nerds in the house, we were experiencing a mild denial of service attack for who knows how long. it was mild enough not to be an obvious DoS, but strong enough to be annoying. i thought once fixing the pr0n hack it was fixed, but it wasn’t. smh. anyways, we have a new server all for ourselves to be on.

    hopefully nothing goes down anytime soon. i’ve grown tired of cursing out P and damon every time they complained to me about the site.

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  16. I tried being a productive member of society, but that didn’t work out too well *lol*. Glad you guys are back so now I can go back to being a lazy bum \(^_^)/

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  17. …a muthaf*cka apologize. DAAAAAAMN.<– A Thin Line Between Love & Hate?

    During the VSB lockout, I just kept checking randomly with high hopes that things were back on track. I work overnight so this blog definitely helps me get through the night. Its been tough lately w/o VSB.

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  18. Happy to see you guys are back. Though I didn’t know about the free pr0n. Why am I the last to hear of such things? lol #IKeedIKeed Seriously glad you’re back.

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  19. I was wondering what happened. I was like “…*confused blink* maybe it was just a bad week for everyone…”. Glad to have yall back!

    What did I do during the #vsblockout?? I joined the rest of the world on Twitter. Smh, peer pressure. I’ll be looking out for some of yall! :)

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  20. *does Welcome Back shimmy* I’m so happy that the site is back up and running. I checked back 50-leven times everyday to see if it was working, and was mildly depressed every time I could read a post and was unable to comment. Unless I made no less than 8 attempts.

    But today I can celebrate! I LUUUUUH Y’ALL! Keep being awesome. While it was down I actually think I tweeted less, and I was able to catch up on all the work I normally put off on a regular day. So I guess it was good that I got a break from you guys. My boss probably appreciated it.

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  21. “So…what did you do during the #vsblockout?”

    I joined a cult, but decided that I couldn’t handle the brain washing tactics. I decided to join Occupy Wall Street, but they can’t really decide what the heck their demands are so I left that group. I remembered someone’s post about Kim K’s sex video and finally decided to watch that to see what the hype was about. RayJ’s performance was truly disappointing and it only confirmed what I thought about him before — just eye candy.

    I never got the free p0rn site just couldn’t get the site up at all. Which then made me think that getting it up might be hard for the fellas at VSB. LOL… JK ;)

    DoS is a very annoying tactic. Hope you all are able to continue the entertainment for more than 72 hours, again. :) Peace.

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  23. What did I do during the #VSBLockout?
    I discovered that there’s this thing called “reality”. Yeah. it’s really cool. You can like touch and talk to people. O_O

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  24. Liz, be honest. Hermain Cain and Jim Jones joined forces to crash the site didn’t they?

    What did I do while VSB was away:
    -Grew a kick-a** beard.
    -Read blogs on other VSB/VSSers sites.
    -Thanked the all mighty that my pc at work didn’t get flooded with the porn that Cain and Jones infected VSB with. This would have escalated an ongoing war with my firm’s new IT director.
    -Formed a jam band with Gemmie and miss t-lee called Arian Foster’s Jacket.
    -And I went shopping for a pair of eating pants for Thanksgiving.

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  25. While y’all were down I: freed all my sons, cured 3 types of cancer, made lace fronts illegal, ended the NBA lockout – profits will now be split 33/33/33- that last 33 is for the fans, pepper sprayed UC Davis campus police, and convinced Herman Cain to fess up.

    Now that y’all are back I’m pretty sure all my good works shall automatically disappear.

    Welcome back!

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  26. Hey, while you were having issues, I kept the dream ALIVE! Plus I checked out Chunk’s blog more and followed the fam on Twitter. Also, I started P90X. Yeah, I copped the bootleg, but it’s fun. :)

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  27. While VSB was on hiatus, I had a come to Jesus meeting with Kris Kringle, Mrs. Santa and the elves, then told the Thanksgiving turkey to keep eating good. Caught some more episodes of Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations, hugged my favorite Navy soldier, flirted with my favorite Black man, and ate the big piece of chicken.

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  29. “So…what did you do during the #vsblockout?”

    1. Actually did some work My boss may have been the hacker.
    2. Learned accounting
    3. Consolidated my student loans
    4. Started using Google feed
    5. Ate Mike & Ike’s

    If only I was joking…
    good to have you back.

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  33. During the VSB lockout:

    1. I discovered two new blogs
    2. I tried extremely hard to like Take Care
    3. I rejoiced at Tyler Perry’s generic black sitcoms being given the Friday Night death slot
    4. I joined #occupyboston but then it got cold
    5. I hit the gym and lost 15…..twitter followers
    6. I joined blackpeoplemeet.com just to see how many profiles has “i’m not for drama or games” in their profile
    7. I made a blog…i just havent made a title, post, or layout
    8. I learned why so many grown men are digging peach flavored vodka
    9. I’ve watched full NBA 2k12 games of the computer playing eachother
    10. I never got pron here but Facebook happily obliged me -__-

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  34. Welp, I was so frustrated about not being able to comment, (lurking is like drinking decaf, what’s the point) that I went on a rampage, terrorizing other blogs with my obnoxiousness-ness. They very much appreciated my “share the love” campaign. So much so, I’m sure SBM writers are in their war room right now planning to bomb my house. *snickers* Those poor chil’ren didn’t know what hit em.

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  36. It was like a right of passage for the page 2 come up and to be able to post.

    Ever since we had that brush with the Gucci Little Piggy clan things went left……..coincidence??????

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  37. MANE.

    Since the #vsblockout, i’ve:

    gotten fired for trying to go to VSB at work and a pr0n site popped up (JOKING)

    Actually gotten some work done, cuz im not reading all 572 comments on this bish

    Watched the entire season of Awkward Black Girl (Mane, i think Issa Rae is FLY)

    Gotten my daily dose of grown man humor/thought from Phonte’s Charity Starts At Home (A dope ALBUM)

    Watched Reed Between the Lines (i know ppl been hating, but just seeing a halfway functional black family on tv keeps me believin there’s still hope)

    Did a mini spoken word tour in Lousiana and Arkansas

    Listened to Andre 3000′s verse on Drake’s album about 2,543,356 times

    Joined a flag football team

    found a cure for cancer

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  38. “He also started a support group for people that cannot believe Taylor Swift won the AMA for Artist of the Year, co-founded with Taylor Swift.” DEAD.

    Welcome back!

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  40. Since the VSB Lockout, I have:

    Registered for a certification class to become a Zumba instructor. Helps me stay in shape; so why not help others do the same (and get paid to do it!).

    Fallen even more madly in LOVE with Slakah the Beatchild. His music is my cure!

    Planned my New Year’s Eve trip to NYC!

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  41. Glad to see that the site is back up. Why would someone hack this site? Is this a case of the “non-bougie negroes” striking back?

    So…what did you do during the #vsblockout?

    Absolutely Nothing.

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  42. Welcome back guys! But I wish I had gotten the memo about free p0rn *sigh*

    Anyway so what did I do?
    Studied more and am finally acing accounting
    read guyspeak through my phone
    Discovered one of my fav blogs I used to read moved to a new site and now frequent there ever so often
    Still trying to figure out what pineapples mean
    and finally maintaining my status as a proud skins fan *ducking tomatoes*

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    • i’m a Skins fan too. thing is, its way funner being a Skins fan than any other squad. here’s why. we know we suck. and dont really expect to win. if we do…celebrate. if we don’t, at least we didnt expect it. there’s no pressure as a skins fan. AND we’re visibly racist. its a win win.

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    • “pineapples” is from Kevin Hart’s Laugh at my Pain movie. That’s my favorite part! Welcome back VSB!!! I’ve missed lurking ;) btw I loved the book and bought it within the first week of knowing about the site around June (lol slow claps for me). Seriously, good to have you all back! woo hoo!

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    • Still trying to figure out what pineapples mean

      I’m assuming that you’re referring to Kevin Hart’s S&M safe word. Or maybe not, since you didn’t know what it meant. =/ So yeah, that’s what it is.

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  43. I seriously was just about to leave a comment asking what was going on. I never got sent to pr0n, thank GOD! (since I only look at this site at work), but I kept thinking I was in the twilight zone seeing comments in the 30s, no pics, complete design change, and sometimes looking like y’all hadn’t posted since 1962. So I’m glad you’re back, because you inject the most humor into conversations that tend to be a bit tight on other site. It’s helpful. And I clearly can’t just WORK at work, so you guys HAVE to exist. Welcome back, yourselves. :)

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    • I clearly can’t just WORK at work, so you guys HAVE to exist.

      Okay?? These have been the most productive yet frustrating few weeks during the workday…

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  44. (Totally posted on the wrong post. Trying this again)

    Was really missing you guys! But, the break did allow me to totally focus on my coursework more than I had been. Now let’s see if I can maintain that same concentration now that you boys are back in the building… (doubt it, doubt it).

    Hello Everyone! :)

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  45. During the VSB Lockout I:

    -Complained bitterly about getting 500′ed on every post I tried to make
    -Started lurking my old msg board
    -Started posting more on VSB/VSS individual blogs (S/O to Cheekie for ratchet topics, Wu for the Penn State convo, Gem for the NFL recap, and Muze about blogging back when it was pure)
    -Focused on Tweet Game, still feeling like the JaMarcus Russell of Twitter
    -Met real life VSB/VSS (S/O to Gem, Panama, Ms Jaime, Nick, LoveLibra, TWisM)

    “for real, somebody stopped me in the street and was like “yo, your site keeps messing up P”

    Ok – technically we were all at a bar when I said that, not in the streets. Besides I thought you were kidding about you and Liz cussing each other out about the site. I guess you were serious LOL.

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    • “Met real life VSB/VSS (S/O to Gem, Panama, Ms Jaime, Nick, LoveLibra, TWisM)”

      When did all this meet and greet business happen?? #undercoverhating

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    • Thanks for the love DQ! I definitely get the residual hits from the VSB fam. I am so appreciative. Well, I thank Champ and Liz because Panama’s ego is too big and too wide. It has a difficult time fitting. Yeah, thats what she said.

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      • Well since we’re doing marketing for Cheekie, let me suggest to anyone reading this, If you have a problem being amused, if no one else can help, and if you can find her, maybe you can follow the Cheek Team *Insert A-Team Theme music here*

        She may not tweet you back all the time (AHEM) but she’ll make up for it by making you spit out whatever beverage you’re drinking when you read her tweets.

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        • -_- @ not tweeting back all the time. HEY! I don’t get tweeted back alla’time either! Hmph.

          but yes, I do tries to provide the entertainment. Thank you kind sir. Your check is in the mail. It’s an actual check mark, not a check you can cash.

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  46. I’m a recent lurker, as in I started lurking shortly before the hacking. I got really sad because I thought I’d never be able to stop lurking and finally comment. Can you say TRAGIC?! While VSB was messing up my procrastination, I went back to taking naps. Do I get glitter now or something?

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  48. 1. I started small time dope game cocaine. Pushing rocks on the block of 127th & St. Nicholas in Harlem. I mean there really wasn’t anything else to do at 12 a.m. since y’all was on one.

    2. Masturb8ed a few times
    3. Then decided give bible a good read thru.

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  49. So…what did you do during the #vsblockout?

    With my new-found free time I opted to actually get some work done. I had a realization of “Oh, that’s right, THIS is what I’m being paid to do.”

    I realized how much of a fiend I had become when I walked into the IT guy’s office to inform him of how everytime I tried to visit a “certain” website I was being redirected to some site about “10 Famous Celebrity Sex Scandals”, etc. He asked me what site was I trying to visit and I only paused slightly before proclaiming “VerySmartBrothas”. He responded, “Oh yeah, I noticed you go to that site alot.”

    During the hiatus I managed to get into three motor vehicle accidents within a span of 4 weeks. MVA1: Got rear-ended in bumper-to-bumper stop-and-go traffic. Minor puncture to back bumper from license plate bolt; no claim filed. MVA2: Got rear-ended on the freeway while stopped to wait for traffic to clear. She was texting. My car was totalled. I’ve bought a new one. MVA3: Wrecked the fire truck into a tree while backing into a church parking lot for a public relations event. Got a 15-day suspension from driving department apparatus which ended yesterday.

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  50. i can also say during the lay-off i spent most of my freetime sh*t talking on modern warfare 3….(((hiding the pizza boxes and beer cans)))) …and my beard grew out rediculously

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  51. I got to know my F5 key better. Also got some work done. Revisited The Twittuh and other blogs I like less. Opened more e-mails than usual. Found a place to volunteer. Waited impatiently.

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  52. suuuper glad the site is back. i had to abandon yall for a minute. Dellicious can’t take viruses.lol

    during the vsblockout… i … actually got a lot of work done. pow.

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  53. Once the shakes wore off, I admitted to myself that maybe I *do* have a VSB problem.
    I was going to do something about it, but now I don’t have to.

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  56. Why is Wild Cougar the only one keeping it real?!?

    A good majority of us were either commenting or (possibly) lurking on SBM. Point.Blank.Period.

    I also did some work, and paid more attention to the children that came into the library.

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  57. Champ, you are VERY Guyanese for this “…, and quite crotchety.” I repeated that sentence with my accent. Thank you for that. Glad the site is back. YEAH!

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