Dating, Relationships, & Sex, Pop Culture, Theory & Essay

The Unspoken But Expected Reciprocation Of Giving (And Receiving) Head

Despite the fact that it first aired a few months ago, I’m just now getting around to watching the current season of “Louie.” I’m up to episode four, but something that occurred in episode two addresses an unspoken bit of dating decorum that, well, has remained unspoken for obvious reasons.

Louie’s friend arranges for the newly single Louie to meet someone. They don’t initially hit it off, but after heading to a bar, having a couple drinks, and donning some beer goggles, they start to warm up to each other. They leave in her truck, and after a couple blocks she pulls over in an alley, tells him to whip it out, and starts giving him head. When finished (and yes, she swallows), she sits back up and asks him to return the favor. He refuses, saying that he considers that to be too intimate of an act to do when first meeting someone.

This (predictably) starts an argument where she basically says that reciprocation is expected, and, if he wasn’t prepared to go down on her, he shouldn’t have allowed her to give him a bj. He replied that just because she doesn’t consider that to be too intimate doesn’t mean that he should feel the same way. 

The scene ends with her basically raping him into giving her head (you have to see it to believe it), but it stayed with me because of the issue it brings up. Much of our dating/relationship lives are governed by certain unspoken but expected reciprocations —  some as small as “If you accept this drink, you’re also accepting (at least) two songs worth of conversation” and others as potentially life-changing as “If I’m monogamous, I expect you to be monogamous too.” And, since these things are largely unspoken, there always remains the possibility that miscommunications such as the one that occurred with Louie will end up with a p*ssy forcefully placed in your mouth.

I guess the easy solution would be to just make certain everything is always explicitly communicated, but life doesn’t always work that way. Sometimes we assume that people we’re dating share the same sense of decorum. Sometimes we don’t make that assumption, but don’t actually think to bring up the subject until it smacks you in the face. And, sometimes we want to bring stuff up, but worry about offending and/or ruining the mood. Basically, assumed social mores has a tendency to make us a bunch of p*ssies. (If it seems like I’m enjoying typing “p*ssy’ too much, it’s because I totally am. P*ssy, P*ssy, P*ssy, P*ssy, P*ssy!!!)

Oh, and as far as oral sex decorum, I’m not sure if there’s a right answer to Louie’s situation. Personally, I haven’t gone down on everyone who’s gone down on me (Is it an damning indictment of my sexual past if just the mere thought of possibly eating out some of the woman who’ve given me head gives me chills and cold sweats? Nevermind. Don’t answer that question.), and I’ve never given head in anticipation of reciprocation either. If I did it, I did it because I wanted to do it, not because I wanted them to do something in return.

Also, Louie was right. Just because a person is ready to suck off and/or eat out anyone who smells good and smiles at them doesn’t mean that the person receiving the head will feel the same way. For some people, going down on someone is only reserved for “special” people. (ie: future wives, former presidents, Nicole Beharie, women who you’re trying to trick into letting you hit, etc) Yes, it’s somewhat hypocritical to accept head from someone knowing that you’d never, ever, ever, ever return the favor, but “hypocritical” doesn’t mean “wrong.”

At the same time, I also do think that Louie’s date had a valid point. I mean, after a certain point in your life (and by “after a certain point in your life” I mean “after your 21st birthday”), you probably shouldn’t be receiving head from someone you’d never, ever, ever — for moral, biological, or “you disgust the ever-living shit out of me” reasons — give head to. At that point, returning the act isn’t so much about the act itself as much as it’s about the principle. This — giving head — is something adults do, and if you’re ready to receive, your ass needs to be ready to give as well.

Anyway, people of VSB.com, what do you think? If you go down on someone, do you expect them to go down on you too? If so, why, and if not, why not?

Also, do you consider oral sex to be more intimate than just plain ole f*ckin?

—Damon Young (aka “The Champ”)

for those folks in the DMV, this Saturday, October 6 is another edition of Reminisce, our all 90s everything hip-hop/r&b/dancehall party at Liv Nightclub in Washington, DC. It’s free before 11pm with RSVP (http://reminiscedc.eventbrite.com) and there’s an open bar from 930-1030pm with no dress code. Come to party, leave to remember. Reminisce. Peep the flyer and FB invite: http://www.facebook.com/events/325601340869364/

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Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a contributing editor for EBONY.com. He resides in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes.

  • Boing

    It’s better to give than receive & I’m sticking to it

    • http://voodoochile88.tumblr.com Craig and Dem

      That’s so true though

    • Rewind

      Until you get your mustache sticky. Then I have to wonder how much of my giving really changed anything besides the texture of my beard and the dampness of my sheets.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “It’s better to give than receive & I’m sticking to it”

      this is true for head. bacon, on the other hand, is a different story

  • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com Tristan

    Meh. I’m not too big on receiving, chicks aren’t as Karrine Steffans as they like to believe

    • Rewind

      buahahahahha

      If that aint the damn truth.

      But then again, we need to stop putting porn star limitations on regular chicks.

      • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

        Yes!! I feel like I do a good job, but the stuff I’ve seen in videos..I just can’t imagine myself doing many things.

        • Rewind

          And you shouldn’t have to because when you haven’t run past the 120 peen benchmark, it shouldn’t exactly be expected of you to pull off what they can. But porn is trippy like that.

          • http://www.twitter.com/black_yoda Black Yoda

            Whoa….hey now…ixnay on the you shouldn’t have to….ay. Let’s not lose our head here :-) Education is a life (sch)long journey. :-)

            • Rewind

              Buahahaha I’m all for the journey of natural progression. I just don’t want to set unrealistic goals on someone who clearly isn’t anywhere near touching it. I remember what that felt like when it was done to me, so I take that into consideration.

              Plus, I heard this podcast from Dan Savage, featuring the owner of this site called MakeLoveNotPorn.com. I never realized how many women feel jaded by the porn acts their men want them to perform.

        • Kema

          I dont feel very chexy gagging

          • Rewind

            It’s not sexy. It is bad.

            But it is sexy to see it all in your mouth. Only if you can do it though.

      • longdong

        There are three types of people in the world, givers, takers and takers who think they are givers. I know I am a giver, if a woman wants to be a pillow princess, lay back and let me pleasure her but she is too proud to get on her knees and take care of my wants and needs- I know she is not a giver. She has to go. I remember the first time I was with a white chick back when I was a teenager and she did it right from jump and acted like she enjoyed it when she did it unlike my sisters- who I had to plead and cave conversations about it before they would..

        • Rewind

          That was my experience too. White girl slopped it up without hesitation, but black girl needs motivation. And since I’m a giver, I gave GREAT reasons to be an equal oppurtunist but not everyone is ready to take a stand.

        • Ms. Bridget

          Is this narrative still alive? Smdh…

    • b sweet

      Interesting. Expound

      • Demondog06

        Simple really…
        For example, I “dated” this aka back in college who was an anomaly in that she was a black girl that loved givin Becky, did’nt have to campaign or negotiate or nuffin’!
        The only catch….
        Her head game was horrendous, in fact it was painful…but a Nygga would’nt say anything because, well….she’s given me dome eagerly and hassle free.
        Point is she would brag to me about how she had me moanin’ I jus didn’t have the heart to tell her why…..

        • b sweet

          Hey!! Stop putting AKAs out there like that. We’re perfect in every way!

          You didn’t tell her how to please you-you brought it on yourself bruh.

        • DMichelle

          At least she was a willing giver!! When I first started doing it in college I always asked my guy afterwards what did you like?? Hell I was new at this I needed to know what to do or not to do from the person that could give me the best review!!

        • DMichelle

          At least she was a willing giver!! When I first started doing it in college I always asked my guy afterwards what did you like?? Hell I was new at this I needed to know what to do or not to do from the person that could give me the best review!! I still ask to this day because every man is different :)

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

      *shots fired like two cannons during the Civil War*

      I could say a lot on this, but I won’t…

      • Rewind

        Can we wear beards and swords for this analogy?

    • http://www.co3studio.com Cadet

      This is my rule: If you aren’t comfortable communicating about it with them, you shouldn’t be doing it with them.

      I love myself too much to sacrifice my health and well being for a quick nut. Whether it’s through oral sex or intercourse, it doesn’t matter.

      • http://www.co3studio.com Cadet

        okay, my bad, that wasn’t meant to be a reply to this comment, haha

        • almightyrio

          I agree. If I cant talk to you about it then we aren’t doing it

    • King Drew

      Yeah.
      I get clowned or at least looked at funny when I say I’ll take a hand job over getting head any day or night.

      • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

        Where are these women who give great handjobs? I’m not saying I haven’t met a few, but a bad handjob is waaaaay worse than bad head. I’ve had to remind women that my peen is attached to a living, breathing human being too often for my tastes. Nuh suh!

        • Rewind

          What is a good handjob? I’ve never experienced such a thing.

    • http://theothersideofphlyy.blogspot.com Phlyy Girl

      You know, once upon a time….
      I had a friend who once told me that the best reasons for dating her were that she cooked, cleaned and gave exceptional head.
      Alls I know is, she made someone cry tears of joy so maybe Karrine could learn from her?

      • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

        Ya know what? Unless she was an incredible B or liked to get her Chris Brown on (and I don’t mean dancing to the songs), that would be a nice base to start with. I like cooking and cleaning, but you mean I don’t have to do that AND I get regular head? #win

        • http://theothersideofphlyy.blogspot.com Phlyy Girl

          That’s what I, I mean SHE was saying. Everything else (personality, morals, etc) could only be a boost from that starting point.

      • Rewind

        Was it just for that one guy though? Can she say that’s her whole track record?

      • mdub`

        Your friend is a saint and should be treated with the utmost respect

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “Meh. I’m not too big on receiving, chicks aren’t as Karrine Steffans as they like to believe”

      even with supahead head, it’s still not preferable to actual sex. i mean, it’s good and all, but it’s like an appetizer to the main course. some buttered bread before the salmon.

      • DMichelle

        No way could I compare to Supahead or even think that I’m close but I go in and give the best appetizer I can give(everybody can’t deep throat LOL). I want the main course more …hopefully we both want the main entree!!

    • Brother Mouzone

      Sooooo f*cking true! 89.4% don’t have anything even CLOSE to supahead skillz.

    • Marshal

      Tossing out the Superhead card I see, nicely played.

      Oral has its moments and merits, but in no way is it an obligation, at least to me it isn’t

  • Third Of August

    I don’t know what to say on this one.

    Mixed feelings on several fronts….

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      expound and shit

      • Third Of August

        Well, it’s hard to accurately comment on something that I know (almost) nothing about.

    • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5FR1LGsT7E TheAnti-Cool

      Neither do I.

      • Rewind

        Say what?????

  • http://testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

    I…hmm…I think it comes down to a major relationship component that a lot of folks lack which is communication before copulation. If you talk about things before (and sometimes after) they occur, go over likes, dislikes and expectations, you could avoid what seems to be a really awkward standoff.

    *yawns and goes to bed*

    • Rewind

      In relationships…sure.

      This seems to stick to the issue of “dating” or random hook ups, where you will never…EVER…have that conversation and are left to assumptions because people never grow the balls/ovaries to have this difficult discussion on the first night, even though they should do it every night.

      • b sweet

        Tes-true dat.
        Rewind-true dat

      • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

        Pretty much. And although most of the VSS are virtuous and chaste, I’m one of those who hasn’t made the smartest decision in the past. I’m able to laugh about it now and wonder what the hell I was thinking.

        • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

          VSS VSP

        • Rewind

          Because there’s nothing wrong with knowing you made a mistake, and making sure it doesn’t happen again. Being embarassed about the past can only make sense but for so long.

      • http://testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

        I’m not a hook-up girl O_O I have no idea what kind of etiquette goes on there. But I think anyone you’re willing to sleep with, you should at the very least be willing to have a serious conversation with. *shrugs*

        • Rewind

          As do I. But most people don’t. Hence rampant STDS and Ooops! babies.

          Wish it was simplier, but I guess that’s why me and you prefer relationships.

          • http://testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

            Being a relationship person in a hook-up crazed world is tough >.<

            • Rewind

              Sure is. But sans kids, STDS, and stalkers outside my window.

              I’m living the dream life with the woman that drives me to drink.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      *yawns and goes to bed*

      thank you for treating this entry the same way my cat would

      • http://testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

        That’s all I had to add Uncle Champ. I don’t have much experience in that area and whatnot…

      • legitimate_soul

        “*yawns and goes to bed*

        thank you for treating this entry the same way my cat would”

        ^Hey, Champ:) So cat-sitting has been officially upgraded to “yo cat”? I would still love to hear how you became “a ni@@a with a cat”.

  • Seaba

    Ive been reading this blog (and the thread of responses that follow) for months, and finally decided to leave a comment :) My husband and I obviously give because we know one another enjoys it, without any expectations of reciprocity…but IMO in the dating world, its nearly insulting to receive from someone who you’d never consider giving to.

    • Iceprincess

      Nuh-uh. Listen, everyone’s a sucker for head (see what i did there lol), so most ppl are gonna be greedy when it comes to receiving; morals be damned. Especially if i dont know you like that, like in the louie example. I literally dont owe you anything. Now i’ll admit, sex is usually better when there IS reciprocation, but nowhere in the rule book does it say it’s a must.

      • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

        “Now i’ll admit, sex is usually better when there IS reciprocation, but nowhere in the rule book does it say it’s a must.”

        See the Perverted Alchemist’s book on Sexual Gratification Between Two Parties- Chapter 2, Page 69…heh heh heh…

      • Tx10inch

        @Iceprincess

        Co sign dat ALL DAY. Especially if I don’t know you.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        “Now i’ll admit, sex is usually better when there IS reciprocation, but nowhere in the rule book does it say it’s a must.”

        hmmm. “the reciprocation rule book” sounds like a good idea for an entry

  • Cheech

    All I know is….I’m not going first because if i munch then I would expect reciprocation because i feel that that’s the only fair way to do it

    • nillalatte

      That’s why they call it “69″ dear. Just sayin

      • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

        But someone’s lips will end up touching someone’s genitalia first, unless you’re doing synchronized head. LOL

        • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

          And whoever is the most inebriated- or the most freaky- will be the first do do so…not that I know, of course…

        • Asiyah

          True, but that doesn’t matter because if you notice that you are the first to put your lips on the unmentionables and that s/he has not returned, you can stop before it goes too far. Plus, it’d be a perfect time to ask the man if he is not engaging because she is not edible. Some girls don’t know…

      • Around the Way Girl

        Do you actually like 69? I’m not a fan…the angles are strange and it’s hard to focus.

        • nillalatte

          Um, well, it’s a mutual position. We both know what we’re there for. I’ve had no problems with angles, but focus, yeah. I can remember a time that the ex and I were into it and I had him near climax, apparently too soon for his liking. He pinned me with his legs and proceeded to bring me damn close to heart failure.

        • Sweet GA Brown

          +1 It is hard to focus and…..damm!t its just hard to get off. Ifyaknowwhatimean.

          • Michelle

            +2

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “All I know is….I’m not going first because if i munch then I would expect reciprocation because i feel that that’s the only fair way to do it”

      with me, it’s all dependent on how much I like someone.

      • SweetSass

        Why are you putting your penis in the mouth of someone you don’t like/trust?

  • http://www.twitter.com/black_yoda Black Yoda

    This season of Louie has been terrible. I liked the first two seasons, but I don’t know what to make of this season. It’s like he’s trying to be Avant-garde or something. It just isn’t working for the most part. Be careful, Champ. You sound like you’re being dismissive of Louie’s “legitimate rape.” You sound like you’re making excuses for abuses again. :-) Maybe the fellas should shame and shout you into submission this time. Oh wait, nobody gave a sh!t about the portrayal of rape when the episode aired so why would they now? Nevermind then.

    • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

      Excellent job. Seriously though, forcing me into head will force me to call the police, and if the police don’t want to take a report on that, they’ll take a report on how I beat a chick into a coma. Sexual assault is sexual assault, ya know?

      • Kema

        Todd, could a woman actually force you?

        • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

          Kema, does this look like “Press Your Luck”? I’m not looking for whammies, thanks. A brother isn’t trying to find that out.

        • Rewind

          Yes they can. Never…EVER…downplay the power of women. Yall can be scary as fawk when your minds are focused and have strict tunnel vision.

          It could be pills. Maybe she poisons his drink. Maybe she seduces him and ties him to a bed, convincing him something great is about to happen. And then BAM! Head crab.

          • Kema

            What if she is just pushy and you finally give in? Is that considered sexual assault?

            • http://testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

              Would it be assault if it was a woman in the same situation?

              Consider if the same things were happening to you. Would you report it as assault or no? Whatever is unacceptable for you, assume it would be unacceptable to any other person, regardless of gender unless otherwise stated by that individual person.

              • Brother Mouzone

                +1million….I like the way you gender-flipped that situation Tess..Now just admit it, you’re a cyborg, right?

                • http://testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

                  Not a cyborg… Although I suppose that would be something a cyborg would say… In any case, no, I’m just a woman :)

                  • Demondog06

                    Android……..

                    • http://testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

                      I don’t even have an Android phone…can’t be an Android without an Android phone…

                      Why’s it so hard to believe I’m a real girl no Pinocchio lol

              • Kema

                I wouldnt consider it assault if he didnt physically force me. So no…. But I was wondering what others thought.

                • http://testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

                  I agree with you, but I’m a strong willed sort of person, so if I say no, regardless of how many times you ask me or try to coerce me it would still be no.

            • Rewind

              Technically it should be, when vice versa, a woman can go to the police with those claims.

              But that’s the problem. No one believes a man when he says a woman has sexually abused him. Unless there is clear evidence, it is just hard for the general public to believe that a woman smaller and shorter than a man could actually have that kind of physical power over him.

    • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

      Since I can’t really watch the clip to remind myself of what happened, I agree it was suspect but probably assault at most. Didn;t she push his head down, jump on him? She wasn’t a linebacker though, if he wanted to get away, he could have tossed her off of him. Perhaps that’s more of a legal issue though- she assaulted him and he gave in…ya I guess that could be r@pe.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “This season of Louie has been terrible. I liked the first two seasons, but I don’t know what to make of this season. It’s like he’s trying to be Avant-garde or something. It just isn’t working for the most part. ”

      I won’t say that it’s been terrible, but I haven’t enjoyed it as much as I did previous seasons. And yeah, if the common definitions for rape go both ways, then he was definitely raped. men being raped, though, is frequently used as a comedic device — every time you make a “don’t drop the soap” joke in reference to prison or showers, you’re telling a rape joke — so Louie’s skit isn’t doesn’t seem that uncomfortable because we’re used to that being funny

  • African Mami

    WOAH! This is a topic reserved for WC and TUK. I think they both will do a great job in deconstructing the myths associated with this subject matter.

    Imma have me some several seats, actually I’m currently occupying the whole of the Olympic stadium, as I am an African and this is a TABOO subject.

    On the aside, I am reading an article about a dude who worked in the nrop industry, not as an actor though. He is giving an exclusive look into the operatives of that industry. If anybody is interested, find me at the Olympic Stadium and I’ll be happy to link. Jah Bless!

    • Third Of August

      I agree. I can’t add anything to this topic. =/

    • http://www.facebook.com/RandGAreZombies?ref=hl The Other Jerome

      SMDH, i had to google “NROP” like “What the hell is this woman talking about…. ohhhhhh”

      • African Mami

        LMAO!!

        I really laughed hard at what you wrote. Almost choked on my popeye’s chicken and fries, at night. Oh mi gosh!! So damn delish.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        “SMDH, i had to google “NROP” like “What the hell is this woman talking about…. ohhhhhh”

        I didn’t catch it until this morning

    • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

      Tweet me a link by clicking on my name Mami! :)

  • http://Obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

    “She watch Channel Zero…”
    -Public Enemy

    Good morning champ,
    While i have heard of the tv show “louie” ive yet to actually view it, nor do i think its likely as im not particularly fond of watching much tv at all. However, i do think there are a number of useful lessons to be gleaned from the particular episode you mention for today’s young princes out there on the open “meet market”.

    1. NEVER do blind dates. If ever there was a neon sign as to the state of your game-or the woeful, pathetic lack thereof-going out on a blind date is it. Think about it-nothing could be a bigger tell as to your smv. A prince should ALWAYS be able to score his own lays, unaided by “hookups” from his friends etc. Remember lads, the Game, is wherever YOU are-and your skills in the Venusian Arts should be practiced, studied and refined enough for you to be able to apply it no matter whatever environment you find yourself in. Blind dating is an epic, colossal, catastrophic FAIL. Dont do that again.

    2. No Booze Rule is in full effect-only chumps and cowards rely on the firewater for some “liquid courage”-studied seducers never have to go that route. Aside from the inherent dangers of imbibing the wine and spirits, getting yourself (and your target) drunk deprives you both of the sublime experience of the seduction. What better bliss is there in knowing that the lady chose you for the evening, in full control of her faculties, sound in mind and body, hmm? You (and her for that matter) can hold your head up high the morning after, for you have bagged a legitimate catch. Beer goggles dont ever cut it-and keep in mind, that a woman who was drunk outta her mind the night before has grounds to charge you with rape-a big no no.

    3. Beware of Fool’s Mate: again, only AFCs (Average Frustrated Chumps) and rank newibies of the Seduction Arts seek to get a hasty ONS (One Night Stand); seasoned Gamesmen always wait at least a day or two. Why?

    Because we like to run Solid Game, which marks the difference between us and the rest of the pitiful male masses out there. For in their haste to get at the cookie, they reveal themselves to be men/boys of much lower value-a serious lady boner killer. An evening with you should be a treat and a privilege for any lady; if she can just whip you around the corner for “some” what does that really say about you? Hmm? Men who take the time to run stron, Solid Game, are men of formidably high value-which is catnip for the ladies. An evening with you should be one that is earned, not freely given away. Let her work for it-it is what she truly wants, after all.

    Follow these three simple rules and watch your love life change for the better; if not, and you will condemn yourself to feverishly working it out with the hand…

    …Yours.

    Here then is the end of todays lesson, lads. Any questions?

    Now adjourn your arses…

    O.

    • Hawaii

      I liked this.

      This is the first time I have been able to read all, understand AND agree with O’s comment. I don’t know what this means… … …doesn’t matter, I have to go complete a paper and read The Scarlet Letter for the second time in my life. *cries*

      • http://Fourpageletter.wordpress.com Keisha Brown

        Dies at this comment

    • Manny

      ” I don’t watch t.v.”….Hipster sayings.

    • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

      Good words. And even when I was bigger in the AFC game than the Lamar Hunt trophy, I rolled with the first 2 pieces of advice. No rape charges for the kid, thanks, and besides, booze numbs me down there. If a woman wants it, she should be bold enough to get loose off of orange juice. Great post. :)

      • legitimate_soul

        “get loose off of orange juice”
        ^I like the Tribe Called Quest reference there. “Phony Rappers” FTW!

        • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

          Glad you caught it. I was wondering if someone would pick it up. :)

    • http://taterwithak.blogspot.com K. Marie

      Strike up the band and shoot your pistols in the air….I actually agree with O’s commentary!

      *1,000,000 on alcohol-flavored seduction.I can be seductive and charming without a shot of Grey Goose. In fact, if you have to have some “likka” to let go, I question your sexual prowess, period.

      SN: When I’m drunk, I start thinking I’m Gabby Douglas and I can put together the most amazing floor routines you’ve ever seen. But I’m not, so I usually end up with a bruise (or four) the next day.

      • Rewind

        Awww I bet you’re all cute when you try to do splits and can’t put your legs back together.

    • http://theothersideofphlyy.blogspot.com Phlyy Girl

      “This is the first time I have been able to read all, understand AND agree with O’s comment. I don’t know what this means…”

      Did lightening strike the boards or something?!?!? I actually want to go presidential and approve this message

    • Rewind

      Good point. I’ve felt for a long time now that men should hold themselves to high regard just like women do when it comes to dating. If it’s that easy to get in your pants, then people are allowed to paint you in any color they want. It’s supposed to be our job to define ourselves.

      • Kema

        *slides a drink in front of you to make you easier*

        • Rewind

          Kema, how did you know alcohol was the quickest way to my heart?

      • Ms. Bridget

        I felt this point too. I always wondered why some men were so free with their willys. I assumed the persona value of their bodies was not as strong as their desire for chex.

        • Rewind

          It’s that idea that a man can do whatever he wants with little consequence. But then reality has shown, that isn’t true at all. And especially because women demand equal treatment nowadays, it forces us to really go over the rule book and point out what doesn’t make sense.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “No Booze Rule is in full effect-only chumps and cowards rely on the firewater for some “liquid courage”-studied seducers never have to go that route.”

      Hmm. I agree with everything you said except this. Getting you and some woman drunk is one thing, but I don’t see a problem with having a drink to loosen up a little.

      • Rewind

        Booze helps. In moderation. As with anything else in life, because too much of anything is bad.

        Until you wake up with draws on the floor, bra on the ceiling fan, a head cover by a sheet with a naked butt sticking out and a 7 hour gap between your black out and your current position that proves time travel is not just a theory.

        We call that “awesome” where I’m from.

    • Third Of August

      In agreement with all of this. Especially the No Blind Dates and the No Booze rules.

    • http://www.minoritymenshow.com Mr SoBo – www.MinorityMenShow.com

      The black rock himself, Obsidian.

      I’m with you for the most part, but I’m not fully on board with your rationale on #3. I can agree that seeking hastily & oftentimes desperately to get a one night stand is the mark of a true lame. I don’t suppor that. However, I don’t think there is anything wrong should a man decide to test the possibility if the chemistry and vibe is there.
      Afterall, how else will he know the type of person he will be potentially dealing with if he doesn’t place the individual in situations that will guage and potentially reveal elements of their character?

      “…if she can just whip you around the corner for “some” what does that really say about you? Hmm?”
      It says that he is a man that opens the door when opportunity knocks loudly. The only bad p*ssy is wasted p*ssy. Just joking.

      “An evening with you should be one that is earned, not freely given away.”
      Agreed, but to a point….

      “Let her work for it-it is what she truly wants, after all.”
      If she is willing to indulge in the moment and relinquish the cookie, it would be silly to starve her as a result of an adherence to some arbitrary concept of her earning one’s magnificent manmeat. To deny a ‘cookie-in-the-bag’ for the sole purposes of making oneself feel desired and worshipped for a few more days is really -lets call it for what it is- narcissisim.

      • Demondog06

        Alladis

  • Pierre

    No whether you’re in a relationship or not if you voluntarily decide to go down on someone, you shouldn’t expect it back they didn’t ask for it. And if you’re in a relationship you should do it cause you want to please your man/woman and not expect it back at least right away cause he or she will return the favor unless she stingy. Coming from a person who never gives nor receive head O_O

    • chameleonic

      >> we are <<

      but lol @ never giving or receiving. my comment was made from a prude perspective but someone this sounds right! =p

      • chameleonic

        somehow*

    • jojee

      wait…never??
      *never* gives nor receives?


      i do not at all mean this sarcastically, but…you poor thang. :(

      • Pierre

        Lol its ok I get it all the times from friends and family, when the subject of oral sex and they realize I have not give or received they all say “aaaww you poor thang” i’m use to it

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “Coming from a person who never gives nor receive head O_O”

      Care to share why?

      • Brother Mouzone

        Yes..please elaborate.

      • Pierre

        The thought of giving head freaks me out I don’t know why. And walking in on your roommate doing 69 with C*m all in her chin mouth area doesn’t make it easy . And as far of receiving I never really had the urge to receive it. I hear its a great feeling my roommate told me and if I ever want to experience it she won’t mind doing it for me.

        • Brother Mouzone

          And as far of receiving I never really had the urge to receive it. I hear its a great feeling my roommate told me and if I ever want to experience it she won’t mind doing it for me.

          Can I watch? Sorry, I couldn’t resist…..

    • GirlSixx

      “Coming from a person who never gives nor receive head O_O”

      Woww!!! #ThisCan’tBeLife

      • Pierre

        Lol Yes this is life

        • b sweet

          How old are you Pierre?