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He got it at Jared
I was in NYC last week to participate in a dating and relationship roundtable discussion with several other writers and bloggers. While hanging out during the accompanying photoshoot, we — the three male writers in attendance — were involved in a kind of heated and completely hilarious conversation with a few of the stylists on set. Apparently, the emailboxes of each of these women were full of random wangs — short, tall, long, wrong, etc — and the only thing each of these pics had in common was the fact that none of them were requested.
One woman even told us about a time a year or so ago when she was in the cab back home from a decent first date with a guy. She felt her cell phone buzzing, saw the guy’s number, assumed he was texting to make sure she got home okay, opened the message prepared to see “Hey, just wanted to make sure you made it home ok” or “Had a great time tonight,” but was greeted with a glistening wang with the words “Sneak Preview” attached to it. One’s left to wonder if he carried a bottle of Vaseline in his pocket to always be prepared to send a shiny d*ck pic or if he just had the pic stored on his phone for special occasions.
Although none of us had actually done the unprompted d*ck pic thing ourselves, three possible reasons for this act were brought up.
A) It’s a simple bait for easy chicks. Let’s say you send a d*ck pic to 15 different women. Although most will be disgusted/indifferent (or will at least feign disgust/indifference), there might be a couple who are amused/intrigued/aroused by it, and now you have three new chicks who want to f*ck and all you had to do to cultivate interest was stick an iPhone in your boxers.
B) We occasionally assume that most women are turned on by our bodies in the same way that we’re turned on by theirs. As my homie J-Russ has joked, it doesn’t even take boobs or booty to get us. Sometimes a chick’s shoulder blade or bare ankle is enough to make us all verklempt, and we sometimes forget that women’s arousal can be a bit more, um, complicated than that.
C) Remember lunchtime recess in 3rd grade, when some boys used to flash girls at the swings and then run away laughing when she screamed or blushed? (and by “some” I mean “all”)Â Well, let’s just say that certain parts of some of us never grow up, and many of us will never not enjoy showing our d*cks to random women.
Anyway, the unprompted d*ck pic is just one of the many things many of us continue to do even though — if the women I’ve met are any indication — very, very, very few women actually seem to enjoy it.
Here’s four more.
2. The too soon “I miss you” text/phone call/email message
You know what’s funny? The men who do this are usually completely disingenuous. I mean f*ck, the date just ended 13 minutes ago. There’s no way in hell you miss her Aspergers having ass already. But, many of us send that message just to get some extra points, oblivious to the fact that there’s a 97.9% chance that she’ll think you’re a corny f*cking lame after receiving it.
3. The foreplay ear-tongue play
Guys, raise your hand if you’ve ever stuck your tongue in a woman’s ear while making out. Ladies, raise your hand if you’ve ever had that happen to you. Now, keep those hands up if you’ve ever actually enjoyed that.
Exactly.
4. Asking “how many”Â
Although “how many” does actually matter (that’s another topic for another day), asking the question is an exercise in futility. Why? Well, she’ll either get pissed at you for asking, lie about the number, or tell the truth and make you want to hide under the table. And yes, if you’re the type of guy who’d ask, you’re probably also the type whose feelings would get hurt if her number is higher than D.Wade’s jersey.
5. The plan-less date
I know, I know, I know. We think we’re doing the right thing. We just want to make her happy, we want her to enjoy her time, and, ever since that time two years ago when we accidentally watched a couple scenes from Erin Brockovich, we’re aware of women’s rights and shit.
But, while many of us think that “It’s whatever. I don’t have any preference. Whatever you want to do.” is the optimum way to approach dating in these increasingly androgynous times, there are few things that dry panties quicker than a date without a plan.
Seriously, it doesn’t even have to be a good plan. It could be a bad plan. An awful plan. An egregiously shitty plan on par with “Let’s let the guy who was caught raping a kid in the showers unrestricted access to our locker room.” Shit, you can even change plans. Just make sure to have something, anything in place to let her know you put more than five seconds worth of thought into your evening. Plus, if you allow her to make her own plans you make her accountable for her own happiness, and we all know they don’t want that to happen either. (another topic for another day)
Anyway, people of VSB: Do you agree with my list?
Also, can you think of any thing else that we (men) continue to do even though we know that most women kind of hate it?Â
***Coming tomorrow: “55 Things Women Need To Stop Forever“***
—The Champ
1st?
Staring at another woman or talking about how fine some other woman is. They know they don’t have ish on Halle Berraaay, Halle Berry. They just don’t want to hear it from us (just like we don’t want to know they’d let Michael Jai White all up in their nether regions).
I don’t have a response to this article nor do I understand what Chris J the Genius is getting at or trying to say…
I think he was trying to say guys should stop bragging about other women, particularly hotter women, in front of women.
I don’t like that either, it makes me want to say “chile’ please if you could get Halle Berry, I wouldn’t be sitting here with you, I’d be with Idris (classy fantasy guy or 50 cent (thug fantasy guy) and not with you” lol
im late on this but have to comment, we could easily break them by joining in on the oh i think this guy is hot, but instead we usually dont. I just bow out, if thats what he wants to do.
a lot of times guys need to stop worrying about what celebrity woman is “hot” and worry more about the woman that is in their bed or who is “actually” giving them the time of day.
What’s with the ‘I am not Akata’ name? Is that REALLY necessary?
+1
times 2
Men, please stop strong arming women, whistling, barking or standing directly in front of them in order to holla. It won’t get you a number, it will get you a restraining order
YES
I have recently learned that women enjoy ‘plans’ on dates. Apparently the joy of my company isn’t enough.
I’m currently in date limbo with this one chick…i think i have 24 hrs to have real plans before she curves my ass lol
Tristan do you care if she curves your @$$?! LOL j/k Do you have a plan so far? on a positive note, good luck!
Women like the feeling of being led by a man. They want a symbolic boss, no Rawse-o. That’s something almost no man will understand without being told or shown.
Women love the idea that you have considered us and our feelings thoughtfully when we are not staring in your face. Plans reflect that. Even though it takes approximately 5 minutes to plan dinner and a movie or about 10 minutes to look up events online, the fact that you wouldn’t even take that time usually shows some disinterest or indifference.
Which is what I told a guy yesterday and he quickly got the picture because he’s making plans for the next couple days!
@WIP cosign!
Basically last Friday I got in the car with this guy for a first date and I looked great- when I saw his T-shirt and cargo pants and he said “well I just don’t really have a plan, what should we do?” I said “thanks so much for attempting to make this date but it won’t work out” and got back out of the car. Harsh? Maybe. But the future was clear– he knew for a week we were going out– so ya.
@WIP cosign!
Basically last Friday I got in the car with this guy for a first date and I looked great- when I saw his T-shirt and cargo pants and he said “well I just don’t really have a plan, what should we do?” I said “thanks so much for attempting to make this date but it won’t work out” and got back out of the car. Harsh? Maybe. But the future was clear– he knew for a week we were going out– so ya.
I hate unsolicited d!ck pics!! Although I do know a few women who enjoy them, I’ve just never understood the point of it plus there’s nothing attractive about a random penis standing at attention or relaxed, either way they’re not attractive outside of bedroom (or bathroom, kitchen, couch, etc) activities. I wish all men would understand that and also understand that if they are going to send me a picture of their little friend all willy nilly without regard for my eyes or sanity, I will show said picture to my friends while discussing any shortcomings they may have
couldnt have said it better myself!
(btw…yay! this is my first comment on VSB)
” I wish all men would understand that and also understand that if they are going to send me a picture of their little friend all willy nilly without regard for my eyes or sanity, I will show said picture to my friends while discussing any shortcomings they may have”
Is this a challenge?
My mother and I just had a conversation about the d*ck pic phenomenon and she came up with a brilliant idea. The next time a man sends a penis to my inbox (or asks for a picture of my own caramel goodies) I’m going to send him a picture of a vagina mid child birth.
Reciprocity
Well, I’m not most dudes. That pic would tell me 2 things: 1) I need to wrap it up and 2) I know you can get it in with enough lube. Considering I must find you somewhat attractive if I got your number, I’d text you 2 words in response: “Let’s rock!” I’d then go out to acquire condoms and get it moving from there.
I do that. For me, I hate “Send me a pic” even more than I would dislike the unsolicited dick pic. So I google “diseased penis” and send one of those results. Works every time (aka I never hear from the guy again).
I do that. For me, I hate “Send me a pic” even more than I would dislike the unsolicited dick pic. So I google “diseased penis” and send one of those results. Works every time (aka I never hear from the guy again).
Also, love the picture. He got it at Jared FTW!
say muthafuggin WORD to all 5 things!!!!!!!!
i have nothing to add at this time. good job.
1:00 am? Were your technical difficulties cause by not ‘falling back’ for Daylight savings time?
I’m a random, last minute kind of girl so planned dates don’t really excite me; as long as we both enjoy ourselves (and no one gets arrested and/or left behind somewhere). I must agree on the tongue-in-ear thing; had an ex do that to me once and I just about kicked that fool off of me. I don’t want to feel like some slimy creature is crawling inside my ear, gross.
Had to Google D.Wade’s Jersey number lol.
You hit the hammer on the nail!
1.Although I have never received a peen pic., I hope I never do.
2.This is always an awkward question for me, I hate answering and I feel like no one is really honest, and that might be for the best.
3.Ear to tongue- I hate that and it reminds me of that overzealous dog your neighbor has that licks people in the face.
4.There needs to be a plan, I hate looking lost and all “tourisity” on a date lol. Guys who have a plan get a red mushroom or gold star in the game of dating.
I had to google Wade’s # too…lol
Champ, this seems to be a rehash of a previous post. Anywho, asking a lady “is something wrong?” Seems to also be a complete no no.
1. You’re so on point about this one, Champ. Thus far, I’ve only received one and when it happened, I was initially turned on. However, that feeling faded QUICKLY and my next thought was “IDK WHAT TYPE OF PARTY HE THINKS THIS IS! HE GOT THE WRONG ONE! BOY BYE!!” I was pissed and felt so disrespected. Like really dude?
4. #Confession While I know who D. Wade is, I wasn’t 100% sure what team he played for and was absolutely clueless of his number. #googleshrug
5. I don’t think true-er words were ever spoken.
Guys, please don’t try to make out with us on the first date. Uhmm, NO, you can’t come upstairs either!!
I would say that in addition to the unprompted d!ck pic, requesting that I send some type of revealing pic is a no no as well.
Also, in the same vein as the tongue in ear thing I would say licking me on my face is another one that I could do without. I just wanna say why?
I agree. I get that men are very visual creatures and all that, but we have to be damn close before I’m cool with letting naked pics of myself (or the vag) out of my control.
Also, tongue in ear… I’m not sure where that came from. It is not at all stimulating, IMHO.
#3: nothing wrong with that, as long as their was some lead up and it wasn’t on some sci-fi type ish…shudders…ok maybe u should just leave the tongue around the lobe instead of diving into the canal.
#4: the only “how many” that matters is how many diseases (which hopefully will be 0) and how many babies/baby daddies….not that other how many!
I’d like to add:
*making EVERYTHING some kind of sexual joke. “that what she said” is really not that funny
The ear thing might get you backhanded. Its a natural reaction…but one thing i hate: if i’m asleep and you try to wake me up by poking at me with your penis. I understand midnight horniness. I just don’t enjoy waking up to unsolicited penetration…which is almost as bad as the ever disrespectful ‘dick-cheek slap’ as a request for oral.
An America where “dick cheek slap” comment doesnt end up in moderation, is an America i want to live in.
This. Or unsolicited touching in other areas to try to “ar0use” me I suppose. Man I’m sleep! I suppose he has to try sometimes to see wassup but damn, who wants to be awakened (?) when they’re trying to sleep? When was that sh*t ever cool?
Umm, I”ll sleep when I’m dead. I don’t see why a woman cannot have sex then go to sleep afterwards. But that’s just me.
completely agree with 2. I’ll either think its insincere or you’re displaying type 2 diabetic thirst…
Amen to #5!!!! I love my husband, but he’s clueless to planning anything outside of work. It kills me when I ask him what we’re doing for the weekend and he says, “Uh, I dunno know. Whadda you wanna do?” My mother said he married me because I always have a plan. Every once in a while, I’d like to be in the figurative passenger seat. Sorry, just venting.
No more d*ck pics?
Crap, time to find another icebreaker…
1. Men adjusting the package in public. Images of crotch rot flash through my head when I notice men do this. I get a bit hurlie. Then ya’ll shake hands or wanna touch somebody?!!? Nasty itchies, NASTY!!
2. Brushing the hair…like OCD!! In the car, on the basketball court, grocery shopping, in the bar, in the bank, on the trendmill. WTF?! Most Black men have about 2-3inches of hair on their heads-what are you brushing? Scalp!! 2 brushes a day should do you!!!
If a picture says 1000 words, a picture of some dude’s package says 2-dumb @ss.
That brushing for waves struggle is real tho
so people really still care about waves? really??
“2. Brushing the hair…like OCD!! In the car, on the basketball court, grocery shopping, in the bar, in the bank, on the trendmill. WTF?! Most Black men have about 2-3inches of hair on their heads-what are you brushing? Scalp!! 2 brushes a day should do you!!!”
Have you not met a black man with waves?
The peen pic will always receive an awkward 0_0 especially if it’s randomly sent to my phone. I think guys like sending them because they can zoom in or angle the camera to make their peen look bigger than what it is.
The one thing that kills me about the “how many question†is that most of the time he won’t believe your original number, or he’ll take it and add 3. As long as I haven’t sleep with everyone in your college year book or anyone in your close circle why does it matter?
I don’t mind the man letting me choose once we really get to know each other or been out on a few dates. But its nice to see a man take some initiative. I always give an A for effort especially something that you put time into thinking up.
Plus FELLAs this is a great way for you to control the amount of money u will spend. You can take her to somewhere nice you know you can afford, rather than her pick out a place you know nothing about only to see that you can’t afford anything but the chicken that you both have to split.
Truth on the budgeting aspect, especially around the holidays if u leave it up to me yo ass is getting a movie and ice skating in the park or Netflix n dinner
Don’t knock that though. Plan it right, and it’ll work.
1. With regard to those pics, they have websites for them. Then the women can look at their own leisure and pick out what they like. It’s hard to call it unsolicited when they got looking for them….or so I’ve heard.
2. I never got that either. I usually gave it until at least lunchtime the next day, if not a touch later. That way, they know how they felt, got it through their system and are ready to react one way or another.
3. That shows a certain kind of laziness. Of course ears can be an erogenous zone for a woman, but so can a LOT of spots. Give her body a shot, and she’ll TELL you where that spot is.
4. Never did that either. I care a lot more about how you met these dudes that the sheer number. Also, looking at it that way also gives me an idea of what you think of me. It’s a simple (if not necessarily easy) of figuring out what a woman thinks of you and how she thinks. I’ve known a woman with a low count that I thought was on some ho ish b/c of her thought process. On the flip side, I’ve known a woman whose count was into the hundreds (and I know it was at least that because of the Excel spreadsheet she set up) that I was cool with because I knew her swag. Context matters!
5. The best solution to that is to put dates in locations where there are lots of different things going on. The first few dates are NOT to be in secluded areas. For one, there’s the whole safety aspect. More importantly, if Plan A doesn’t work, you can easily segue into Plan B if Plan B is in easy walking distance.
Not the spreadsheet! LOL
Yes, the spreadsheet. Heck, I even made the upper echelon of it too. LOL Real talk though, her MO was to use guys, have them prove themselves in bed, then become friendly with them after they did. Without putting her on blast, it was definitely odd. That said, her program was out on the open, and it was either be with it or be with the door. The vast majority of dudes respect that. They might not like it, but they’ll respect it.
” I’ve known a woman with a low count that I thought was on some ho ish b/c of her thought process. ”
How is that possible? That would imply she had a whorish imagination but that in reality her numbers were low.
For example, I dated this one woman who, unless an incredible liar, had a count in the single digits. No one could reasonably say she slept around. However, the choices she seemed to make with dudes seemed bizarre. For example, there was the on-going thing with a married dude just for sex because she didn’t really want a relationship, and with married dude, she could just send him on home. Or there was another rich older dude she was pimping for money, with some occassional brain thrown in.
In her defense, she kept these dudes around for years, so her body count was low. However, what she did with these men and how she related to them was on some ho mess. To me, just because you’re doing some ho mess with 2-3 dudes over and over for a number of years, it isn’t different than doing it with a bunch of different dudes a few times over the same period. To me, being a ho is doing stuff sexuality because a woman feels she “has to” for whatever her reasons. The numbers are irrelevant. On the flip side, if a woman knows what she wants, understands the meaning of such and can articulate it clearly, that isn’t being a ho.
But that’s just me.
I understand now. It sounds like she plain didn’t like sex and just used it as a bargaining tool. Sad.
Sadly, a lot of my dating history (as opposed to to just “playing”) is filled with such women. But that’s another story.
I’ve never received a ween pic. But right up there with the rest of the things I’d wish men wouldn’t do.
1) Suggesting to come over and cook for you
2) Suggesting to come over and try whatever you’re cooking
Oh please, I just met you and this tells me you’re trying the slick way of getting in my pants.
This is one of the few times when he just really wants to do the thing he’s actually asking you.
Agreed. Single men are the least non-cookingest ninjas on the planet. Sometimes they ARE just asking for food.
I have never gotten #1 from someone I hadn’t already let in my pants, but I don’t want men to ever stop doing that. If dude has assumptions and expectations, oh well. Thanks for the meal and bon soir!
“Single men are the least non-cookingest ninjas” <<< lmao. This is so true. My guy friends stay looking for a free meal.
I’ve never received a ween pic. But right up there with the rest of the things I’d wish men wouldn’t do.
1) Suggesting to come over and cook for you
2) Suggesting to come over and try whatever you’re cooking
Oh please, I just met you and this tells me you’re trying the slick way of getting in my pants.
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1. The unsolicited peen pic is like the Hail Mary pass…it can be successful, be intercepted, or simply blocked and taunted.
2. Most times this is just the dude doing too much. I’d like to think someone isnt on some The Thirst 48 steez so soon.
3. Someone who’d stick a tongue in a waxy ass ear is someone u should have second thoughts about kissing.
4. I used to ask how many/how many relationships and they lengths simply to try to mathematically guess when i should expect the draws. Eventually my game evolved like Vick outta prison and learned better of it.
5. I’ve gotten better with making plans first then just finding a date for it (its easier to wake up want some breakfast n ask out the first girl who responds to my goodmorning beautiful mass text).
Notable Additions
6. Drunk dialing- Even in my drunkest moments, i cant see myself marvins rooming a chick, it just shows a complete lack of control.
7. Hating- Too many dudes game is based off hating on the next dude/comparing themselves. If u tryna get at a girl im dealing with and only thing u got is why havent i texted her all day…u need help.
Best list ever.
I don’t go out with people who expect me to plan everything.
I don’t care what she told you, but women can’t stand a filthy apartment keeping man–especially the bathroom and kitchen.
I don’t care how often she cleans it, or pretends she doesn’t see it but won’t touch or use it, she hates that ish.
Noted.
Men should stop inviting women to they dirty ass crib, or picking them up in they messy ass car
ROTFLMAO! I had went over a woman’s house that was so dirty, the roaches looked like they were doing the Matrix thing with the computer code on the walls. It’s stuff like that I wouldn’t do now. Back then, I was thirstier than a mother. Now, I know better.
Matrix roaches. I think I’ve heard it all. That’s pretty nasty.
not the codes running across the walls? *eek!*
Oh so true. When I was single, I usually did a good scrub down before having any women over. However, this lady friend decided at the last minute that she wanted to come through, and my place wasn’t at its best. It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t something you’d have guests over without a bit of warning. Next thing you know, after I twist her out and drive her home, she’s talking about she’s gonna come over next time with cleaning supplies. WTF? No one told your ass to surprise me! LOL
“…she’s talking about she’s gonna come over next time with cleaning supplies. WTF?”
But you let her come though right? If homegirl wants to play Merrymaid…
I this case, I didn’t, but that was because of some other dumb crap she did. Suffice to say she was a bit of a chickenhead.
Do you agree with my list?
OMG, #3- A wet tongue in the ear canal is gross. Wet ears are usually gross. Besides a little lobe play, my ears are off limits. There are better uses of your saliva resources.
Also, can you think of any thing else that we (men) continue to do even though we know that most women kind of hate it?
I only have a couple:
1. The lack of home entertaining preparation. Please have more than ice water and left over ribs in the refrigerator. Keep some toiler paper in the bathroom.
2. The excessively sweet Kool-Aid- GD, men make some sweet a.s.s. Kool-Aid. Wassup with that?
That’s all I got. For the most part I like men- when they’re not trying to be slick.
Does anyone know the origin of this ear-tongue thing?
To see that so many other women have experienced this is a lil bit shocking. I thought I was alone…
Men should:
Cease and dissist with skinny jeans. I’m surprised some cats haven’t caught fire while walking due to chaffing.
Wear your pants at your waist where they’re supposed to be! What’s the point of having the belt on and having the pants fastened below your butt?!!
I think the issue with dudes who wear their pants that low is the freedom of not “doing what you’re supposed to do.” I’m all in favor of being yourself and being creative, but at the same time, a man shouldn’t go out of their way to be a jerk.
There’s still a distinction between boys and men. I understand the rebellious phase and the creative phase. Heck I remember wearing two toned jeans!
To paraphrase the Bible, “When I became a man, I put away childish things.” Grown man = grown man swagger
There’s still a distinction between boys and men. I understand the rebellious phase and the creative phase. Heck I remember wearing two toned jeans!
To paraphrase the Bible, “When I became a man, I put away childish things.” Grown man = grown man swagger
women like plans. have a plan. women like to know that you thought enough of them to plan ahead. want to win? have a plan. you’ll be far ahead already.
i’ve never sent an unsolicited d*ck pic. key word is unsolicited. trust me when a woman feels comfortable enough she will hint or ask for one outright. especially if she already has it in her mind that she wants to sleep with you.
other things men should stop forever:
-sagging their skinny jeans. either embrace the skinness of your jeans or buy pants that fit. i prefer you did the latter.
-being really drunk in public. know your limit and stay at least one drink under it.
Tunde appears to be winning on many levels, ladies. IJS. He seems like he gets it. [Did I mention how tall he is?]
Having a plan could get you some unplanned sex!
I literally have an unpublished post entirely on this very subject. Guess I won’t need to finish it now.
Sadly, I have been the recipient of many a d*ck pic. I’ve seen more pictures of male genitalia on my cell phone than I’ve actually seen in real life! It’s ridiculous how many men there are that think I want to see their junk mere days, hours even, after meeting them. It.is.THEE.biggest.turnoff! And I mean, just out of the clear blue sky. I swear I don’t do anything to prompt these pictures.
It always begins with them asking me to “send them a pic.” Fuuuuuu*ck that. After I don’t respond, that’s usually when my eyes are assaulted by unsolicited picture mail. As if showing me yours will then coax me into showing you mine. Nope. And I’m not impressed. [Maybe like 2x have I ever been impressed]
Anyway, I have an entire post dedicated to helping guys plan a date http://sarcasmforbreakfast.wordpress.com/2011/10/24/awesome-first-dates-that-ive-never-been-on/ so I won’t need to go into detail on how much I HATE having to plan a date when the guy asked ME out and not the other way around.
SN: I tried to post this comment no less than 14 times since like 1:00 this morning. [I'm persistent] I miss the old VSB that didn’t give me error messages and let me post my comments with ease. I love you guys, so I hope all the glitches go away soon. Keep being awesome. =)
OH GOD! it is so creepy to be sent a d!ck pic especially because it looks awkward on the camera phone. You either are completely perplexed that they had the nerve to send it to you, or want to LOL at it
YES! And they’re always waiting for a reply. N*gga, what are you expecting me to say right now?? Thumbs up? Smiley face? That’s nice? What??
As I said, I have seriously been impressed a total of 2x, and the pics weren’t a surprise as they went along with the conversations. Even then, I’m still confused about what needs to be said after receiving said pics. I might go ahead and finish that post after all…
I think they wanted you to come over their place or invite them to yours to play with it or they wanted you to say it is huge and purty. lol
All jokes aside, i think unsolicited penus pictures prove the man’s intent.
I like your list…but i mean she gotta be like Jordin Sparks bad for my black ass to try riding a horse tho
Lol. Thanks. I know, horseback riding is a bit far-fetched for a first date, but I would still love it. All my suggestions are for any date, really. I had so many other creative dates I could’ve listed, but they got to be a little bit pricey. The whole point is, the thought really does count. The simplest date can be completely free and still so much fun. Just don’t wing it; have something in mind.
For me, anyhow, if you’re looking for a second date, it would be much easier if I was able to enjoy the first.
I was on a date recently where my date was eating off of my plate. That’s a huge peeve of mine. Please ask before digging in. Also some more peeves that just irritate me:
Asking for a pic – If you are not my man, please don’t ask me to send u any pics from my phone. I have no idea what you are doing with them or who else is looking at them.
Make future plans with me after only 1 date – This is a lil creepy and it makes you look desperate. No, I will not marry you without knowing your last name
Oh, and not having a plan is definitely at the top for me. There have been countless awkward moments for me where after dinner/lunch, the date just kinda ended without any real thought on what comes next. If you invited me out, you shouldn’t ask me what we should do next.
Do you agree with my list?
Yes I do
2. The too soon “I miss you†text/phone call/email message
Some women actually like this. I always thought this was corny and disingenuous. But some women like it.
3. The foreplay ear-tongue play
I’ve never done his and didn’t know men did this often
4. Asking “how manyâ€
Cosign. And plus if you get to know her as a person you can get idea of her sexual habits. Which is more important than her number.
5. The plan-less date
I agree with this totally. This why if she is not on schedule with the plan then she gets left. Women don’t like men not having a plan so they should be prepared for the plan.
Also, can you think of any thing else that we (men) continue to do even though we know that most women kind of hate it?
Touching women they don’t know.
I never understood why some men touch women they’ve never met. I always thought that was a violations of space. I’d hate for a woman i don’t know to touch on me like that so why do some men feel it’s ok? idk.
#4, I want to add talking about sex prematurely. I’d prefer men find out I’m a freak by suprise, but some people want to know ever single tidbit about your sexual past. I’d rather not divulge that info until much later
‘Touching women they don’t know.’
Yeah I don’t get this one either. I never had this happen to me until I moved to NYC. Guys in the club are notorious for this (hence why I stopped going to NYC clubs) Dudes just be grabbing your arm all hard as youre passing by. I asked my SO about this (he used to live in ATL) He said that yeah while it might be a whack move, for every 10 girls you do that to, there’s always those 1 or 2 that will actually respond to it..
Agree with #4 BIGTIME. A woman’s habits is much more important than her number. Granted, her number might be a part of the habits thing, but it’s definitely not the whole story…or even the main part.
Heeey Champ.. Long time! Glad to see you guys finally worked out your site issues. I’ve still been stopping in from time to time but either the sh*t’s been blocked by my job, or I was getting taken to an old post, the site was showing up in plain text format… geesh, IDK… but glad to see youre back! I can get my daily dose of joy again
Annyways, this is a funny topic.. I haven’t been on the market in a while so the only thing I can really think of that annoys the heck outta me is guys that try to be something that they’re not. In other words, they are OVERGAMING or over playing their hand.. They try to come off excessively tough or excessively ‘boughie’ I hate that and its so transparent. Just be yourself.
Another major turnoff is guys with no table manners. I went out to dinner (or ‘diner’ would actually be more apropos) with the guy and he had ordered a burger and cheese fries (yuck to that too – guys you should also be aware if your date is health conscious, vegan, vegetarian, etc. if so ordering the rack of lamb with onion rings will not be a good look) Anyways, dude is eating his fries and kept licking each individual finger after each handful. But was really sitting up there grinning and had the nerve to be smacking his lips on top of that… GROSS!!!!!!
I hear you on this, but why do health conscious people accept dates from people who are not?
There’s an old saying, that the way a man eats his food indicates what type of lover he is. So the slobbering all over his food and smacking may not be a good sign. While I don’t mind a man who enjoys his food, grunting and smacking loudly turns me off.
Nice list. What could I possibly add? Hmmm.
1) the attitude [some] guys get when you reject their advances. How do you go from “Excuse me, Lil Mama, lemme holla atchu” to “Well, f&#k you, den. I ain’t wanna talk to yo ugly arse anyway!” Right, sure you didn’t. You just wasted 5 minutes of what you thought was Grade A game on someone you didn’t want to talk to.
Speaking of which…
2a) Guys, “Ay lil mama!” is NOT how you approach a woman. What’s so wrong with simply saying, “Excuse me, miss, but could I please have a moment of your time?”
2b) Ladies, responding to “ay lil mama,” whether positively or negatively, seems to give the guys permission to continue with the ignorance. Just ignore him and keep walking.
3a) I can’t speak for others, but don’t send or bring me a drink. I’m not going to drink it because a) I don’t know you, and b) there is a slight chance that you could be crazy and trying to drug me. That’s not to say you can’t buy me a drink if you feel the urge to do so. I just need to be there when said drink is ordered, made, and delivered.
3b) Buying me a drink does not mean I am obligated to spend the rest of the evening with you.
I am SO HAPPY with this topic! MEN Pleeeeeeease cut the wretched mess out! We’re (women) not as visual as you are, so don’t send pics of your schlong… if we like you well enough we’ll get there on our own… trust me. We decide pretty early on, for reasons that only we understand (read: random azz reasons), whether or not we WANT to see (or do anything else with) your piece.
LOL @ random azz reasons! It’s funny because it’s true.
Though keeping it real, men MARRY for random azz reasons too. That’s another post though.
3. The foreplay ear-tongue play
Guys, raise your hand if you’ve ever stuck your tongue in a woman’s ear while making out. Ladies, raise your hand if you’ve ever had that happen to you. Now, keep those hands up if you’ve ever actually enjoyed that.
Exactly.
+10 for this. And since there’s pretty much a general consensus from both genders that this act is HORRIBLE both to give and to recieve, WHY do guys still do it? And women, WHY do we continue to act like we like it? LOL.
3. The foreplay ear-tongue play
Guys, raise your hand if you’ve ever stuck your tongue in a woman’s ear while making out. Ladies, raise your hand if you’ve ever had that happen to you. Now, keep those hands up if you’ve ever actually enjoyed that.
Exactly.
+10 for this. And since there’s pretty much a general consensus from both genders that this act is HORRIBLE both to give and to recieve, WHY do guys still do it? And women, WHY do we continue to act like we like it? LOL.
3. The foreplay ear-tongue play
Guys, raise your hand if you’ve ever stuck your tongue in a woman’s ear while making out. Ladies, raise your hand if you’ve ever had that happen to you. Now, keep those hands up if you’ve ever actually enjoyed that.
Exactly.
+10 for this. And since there’s pretty much a general consensus from both genders that this act is HORRIBLE both to give and to recieve, WHY do guys still do it? And women, WHY do we continue to act like we like it? LOL.
good list!
of the handful of times I’ve had a tongue in my ear, I only enjoyed it once… BUT I was really into him so I think it had less to do w/ the act itself. I remember thinking, “Dayumm, he made me LIKE that” lol! Never performed it myself – its pointless, & I value the tip of my tongue
I get them so often and never have asked I think guys just keep them saved on their computers/phones and that grosses me out. If we are not dating and I didn’t ask please stop, just know I’ve showed ALL of my girlfriends and they laugh at you.
Thank God there is at least one man alive who knows that the tongue in the ear thing is not foreplay. There is a God!
It’s especially disappointing when the d*ck pick is a stock photo (which they usually are). I always think, “So nice of you to show me what you looked like when you were thinking of someone else.” Eeeew.
I have never received unsolicited peen pics.
#5 Please!!!
And quit honking at me when I’m walking down the street.
Oh boy. This layout is just beautiful. The text. The justification. Everything. Very clean. Well done. I know it’s off topic, but still.
Definitely love the list! Matter of fact, Love the site! I come here and read it all the time and never take the time to comment. Just wanted to tell you guys, you’re awesome! I definitely send ppl to your blog quite often! Always a great read! Stay up VSB!