while its extremely difficult to define what exactly constitutes a “ho”, like good point guards and bad weave, we can all confidently say that we know one when we see one.
with this in mind, and keeping with vsb.com’s commitment to fight crime, i’ve decided to bless the vsb pulpit today with the twelve biggest ho’s in human history. enjoy
***btw, breath easy overit and redbeanz. i edited the list down from “14″, so your names didn’t make the cut***
with over 888 recorded offspring (the most in world history), moulay the bloodthirsty laid more raw pipe than bob vila. if boning indiscriminately was bad hair, he’d be tameka cottle.
jenny curran
when you consider the fact that jenny lived during the most promiscuous era in american history, and was (chronologically) a southern college student, a playboy playmate, a stripper, a hippie, a rock rodie, and a black panther groupie, and
was probably the first hiv positive hetero white female in the country, the over/under on how many people she slept with has to be at 500.
karrine “supahead” steffans
question: when supahead’s son is teased in school about his mother’s nickname and exploits, do you think he gets pissed, cries, or just says “f*ck it” and shrugs it off?
or (and this is my favorite theory), do you think he rips on her first, a preemptive roasting strategically done to quell outside attacks, like steve martin in “roxanne”?
magic johnson
put it this way: anyone who (according to the rumors) used to grab a skittles bag thrice per week, pour out the contents, and bone whatever color came out the bag (for instance, if two yellows, a red, and a purple dropped out, he’d sleep with two asians, an indian chick, and a sista that night) deserves placement on the list
better known as odeipus rex’s mother and eventual wife, the queen also makes the cut on my top ten “least likely to be invited to any more family picnic’s” list
prince charles
makes the list solely for bagging the ugliest mistress the world has ever seen.
travis henry
do you realize how hard you have to work to have eleven kids by ten different women in nine different states? i mean, when you consider this, as well as the facts that he was a habitual weed smoker and nfl running back (two activities proven to kill sperm cells), you can make the argument that henry’s spunk is stronger than kimbo slice.
honestly, they need to redo that chuck norris site and just have “travis henry’s spunk facts” (ie: “travis henry’s spunk doesn’t read books. it stares them down until it gets the information it needs” and “there is no theory of evolution. just a list of animals travis henry’s spunk allows to live”)
erykah badu
for those surprised with her name on the list, name another never married 30-something multi-millionaire woman with three kids by three different men.
take your time. i’ll be here a while…and so will you.
wilt chamberlain
forget the fact that he slept with 20,000 women. dude was seven feet tall, 300 pounds, wore a size 20 shoe, and reportedly had hands that measured 14 inches (!!!) from the palm of his hand to the tip of his middle finger.
i’m more amazed that there were 20,000 different women in the country with the sexual ability to sleep with him without giving themselves a hysterectomy.
bill clinton
of all the clinton concubines, were any of them (including his wife) even above a 4.5? it never made any sense to me. you’re the most powerful man in the world, and the best you could do were construction clerks and waffle house waitresses?
tonya cooley
the lebron james of reality show sluts, tonya’s the gold standard, the perpetually bent over bicycle benchmark in a genre defined by hotivity. she’s to fuzzy screen “they’re not having sex in there, are they?” sex what zoe saldana is to movie tokenism.
helen of troy
lemme get this straight: she single-handedly caused the deaths of hundreds of thousands of men killed in the trojan war, as well as the demise of millions of schoolchildren around the world, dead from boredom after being forced to read her tale in class…all because she couldn’t keep her hot ass panties on???
helen of troy, f*ck you.
that’s it from me. did i miss anyone?
—the champ
lawd.
@Liz, for sure!!! as for the wilt chamberlain of it…. i had no idea who he was, so off to wikipedia i skipped, and…CRIKEY!!! i don’t believe him tho…
poor prince charles, ha ha ha, you know it MUST be love.
as for the helen of troy hatred – no no no, she’s so misunderstood! stop the hatred, champie! all she did was fall in lurve! with the wrong guy, alas!
happy friday! and congratulations again to the Pharoahs for their stunning victory over reigning confederations cup champs italy! (yes, i’m football obssessed, it’s going to go on till the 28th June – deal with it!)
@superwoman,
as for the helen of troy hatred – no no no, she’s so misunderstood!
so was hitler
@The Champ, and Rasheed Wallace.
@The Champ, sweetheart, don’t be that way!! hitler WILFULLY killed millions…
with helen,it was an….er…. by-product of her emotions! it’s all those silly mens fault, in the first place, for going to war over such frivolities as ‘misplaced affections’.
I’m both elated and saddened by my being a primary responder at 5 past midnight. Anyway…
We cannot forget:
Felicia.
She was fookin Debo, too.
Caitlin Bree.
She was marrying an asian drum major, cheated constantly on Dante, and inadvertently drove men to deviant lifestyles. If there had been a reality show about Jersey back then, not only would it have sucked… SHE would have sucked too. On camera. With a dead guy.
Gracie Law.
Yeah, I know her real name is Kim Cattrall.But do you really think I’m gonna A) Call her by Mannequin? or B) Admit I ever saw an episode of Sex and the City? No. So I’ll preserve manhood by calling her by her characters name in a real man’s movie. Even though I’m putting her on this list because of the role she played on Sex and the City. Shut your mouth. Empowerment my ass… She was fookin whenever. Some dig sitches, the other kind get dug out. She was the latter. Duh.
Liz Taylor.
She even gave Tito’s lil bro a go.
Marilyn Monroe.
Yup.
I could go on, but I’m noticing an abundance of 2520s in this list. I’ll regroup and return on the morrow with more sistas.
And I won’t just go for a walk outside and start naming names, even though that would be easy as heezy.
@DanteA, i heart you for the Clerks reference… *single tear*
@Naturally Alise,
me too. (although im gonna substitute a more masculine synonym for “heart”)
@DanteA,
I am cracking up that you called Mannequin a real man’s movie.
@iloVEGrits,
Ah, see… there is where you’re wrong.
I called “Big Trouble In Little China” a Man’s Movie.
That was an off the cuff reference to an 80′s cult classic, and the impetus behind the creation of several Mortal Kombat characters.
C’mon now… Mannequin???
@Dante_Alexander,
“Big Trouble In Little China”
My brother used to love this movie…I can’t even remember how many times we watched this as kids…lol
@miss t-lee,
I loved it as a kid too. My cousin and I used to watch it regularly.
@Voiceofreason,
yea and the “golden child” lol
@BLUNT,
Damn, Asians were so cool back in the 80s.
@Dante_Alexander,
haha. Yes, a 10 year old man’s movie!
*Shines green light through orifices*
@Me fail english?,
Oh Pish Tosh.
You all have your “Notebook”s and your “Dirty Dancing”s…
Leave us be with dudes with control over lighting, demons, Lands of a thousand H3lls, green eyed Chinese Girls and David Lo Pan. Plus, crap gets exploded all nice and green-like.
@Dante_Alexander,
No Sir! I actually hated the Notebore and merely tolerate Dirty D-List Dancing.
*Pricks your finger with long needle*
*Levitates in heavy makeup*
*Angrily swells until explosion*
I am a 10 year old boy
@Me fail english?,
you were so e-cool to me until you dissed The Notebook and Dirty Dancing. but then i remembered….
…you’re a new yorker. so carry on….
@DanteA,
Don’t be talmbout about my Liz Taylor like that! she was also misunderstood lol. I mean anybody could get married 8 times, and to her credit it was only with 7 different men, and the first one was abusive so they had to get divorced and the third one died in a horrible plane crash (although after mike todd died she did steal her best friend’s husband, but that’s neither here nor there, everyone makes mistakes) and you couldn’t expect her to spend the rest of her days alone, so by my count that’s really only 5 men…her icon status just makes it seem like more lol!
@PrincesMo, if she was from the ‘hood, she’d be the neighborhood ho.
speaking of such a chick, my boy tried turn one into a housewife. it didn’t work and he ended up in jail.
she also took his bike. like his actual bicycle.
he loved that bike.
no Friday.
@Panama Jackson,
It was hollywood and it was the 60′s everybody was doing it, cut her some slack lol.
and i’m sorry about your friend…and his bike, but he shoulda know better than to try and wife a ho, hotivity and wifedom are mutually exclusive entities and and like someone with ibs who just went to chipotle, its bound to blow.
@Panama Jackson,
lol@ a ho asz bike thief.
My ex’s ex stole his baby pictures along with keepsakes from his dead mother.
Another ex of that same ex stole cigarettes outta his new girl’s bag at a BBQ.
I have no point, just thought I’d share.
@Me fail english?
No, I think we got your point . . . all your ex’s ex’s are crazy @ss bytches.
@An Island,
my ex stole my ugk double cd I was pissed but i jus bought a new one. smh tryna hold ugk hostage like “you want it come and get it” naw ill cop a new one.
@BLUNT,
lol! She’s either dumb as rocks or thinks you’re broke as hell . Probably the first one to hold a $15 cd for “ransom”.
@Island,
Those girls both belong to the same ex. Only one of my ex’s digs crazy betches!
@Me fail english?,
“Only one of my ex’s digs crazy betches!”
T-shirt!!
@ Bluntblazer
Pretty sure a girl a dated stole some of my clothes. Guess she needed to shred them in peace somewhere else, or she’s making her new guy play dress up with stolen hand me downs.
@ Me Fail
I stand corrected. Only one of your ex’s only dates crazy bytches. My bad.
@An Island,
I take it shots are being fired at me here. But since I only respond to the funny ones, I’ll just move on.
@An Island
Don’t pout, love. It’s all just a joke. Unless it’s true.
@An Island,
No pouting at all. But since you made the joke twice I figured you were waiting for a “Gee Island, that sure was clever”.
Here I am.
You’re welcome.
@Me fail english?,
Another ex of that same ex stole cigarettes outta his new girl’s bag at a BBQ. .
This was so random, but oh so funny!
@V Renee,
True Life: I’m being followed…
That chick (the loosey thief) stalked me for a little while and everything.
@PrincesMo,
LMAO @ the Liz logic.
I do fuzzy math like that too for Mya, Halle and J Lo.
@Me fail english?,
I mean you gotta do what you gotta do in the name of standom lol.
@DanteA, Was Kim an empowered ho? LOL
oh u missed that dude who has 29 kids and he’s 25 years old. Or is he 25 years old with 29 kids?
Let’s play, Guess The Race?
@Liz, Lol. Liz I got you. (see below)
@Liz, I was thinking of this clown too!!!
@Liz,
That fool was not tryna support Trojan’s cash flow in any way, lol.
@Liz,
I was just coming to mention this… idiot. I still don’t think he should be called a person. He’s 29 with 21 kids. Anyways, I wrote about him here:
http://hunnybeezhive.blogspot.com/2009/05/thats-just-everyones-baby-daddy.html
@Beez,
hahah. I just mentioned him in my comment below.
@Liz,
Let’s play, Guess The Race?
i’d rather play “guess the region”
@Liz,
I’d like to nominate babymamas 3-19 as well for the gift basket. For all I know they coulda been virgins when they met him, but raw dog chex with the head fry cook MUST count for smthg!
@Me fail english?,
*hanging head in shame for family*
this dude ain’t my family, but i DO have a family member who knocked up a chick who had 4 kids by 3 different babydaddy’s.
and…he married her.
FAIL.
@Panama Jackson,
’tis Love.
@Panama Jackson,
Kenyon Martin is your cousin?!
@Liz,
I refuse to believe this is true. If it is…I quit Earth.
@Cheekie,
Well prepare for launch!
I think the babymamas was mad cuz the one who gets the most in support gets like $1.38 a month. HAHAHAHA!
I should probably feel bad…but I don’t.
@Me fail english?,
LMAO!
Omg, where am I gonna live?
Naturally I’d include a Mr. Desmond Hatchett. His exact body count remains unknown however, said pipe layer has bedded at least 11 women that spawned 29 tax write-offs. Insanely trifling? Yes. Wreckless? Good Gawd Yes. When I say Hoe bag, you say Des. Hoe Bag, Des. Hoe Bag, Des. Hoe Bag Hoe Bag, Des Des… (a la School Daze).
@Frederico Savage,
lol, dudes name sounds almost too high society to be a breeder. tyrell jenkins would fit much better
@The Champ,
That is how he was getting them… They said Desmond Hatchett…oh he must be something I’m gon start making his babies!
@Ms. T,
“making his babies”
Like they were factories LOL.
@Ashley Neicole,
They were when they started producing 3 and 4! LOL
@Ms. T,
lol, basically
Aww hell… I forgot all about naming dudes. I’m so sexist. My bad.
Shawn Kemp
Antoine Walker
King Solomon
Dude. You really need ALL that tang? EVERY day? At your disposal… Smart man.
Henry the VIII
Cmon, he INVENTED divorce so he could bone in peace.
Any of my relatives from Alabama. No offense, but apparently there’s just NOTHING to do out that way, eh Unc? What’s that make, 17? Damn.
@DanteA, Can we give Lil Wayne honorable mention for having about 3 babies on the way @ once? The upside is we can say he’s goal oriented, because he’s literally trying to “F*ck Every Girl in the world”. =/
@Frederico Savage, This is truth.
@Frederico Savage, I was just about to add Lil Wayne. How he gets all these women is beyond me.
@Frederico Savage,
Is that ho-dom, or efficiency?
Cuz, truth be told, if we all bedded the folks we wanted to, we’d be of the same moniker. but we don’t… not because we don’t want to, but because our batting averages are 40-year old non steroided out major leaguer types, while some of the folks mentioned (Lil Wayne especially) are batting like We did in Police Athletic League baseball… If not better.
I’m just saying…
@Dante_Alexander,
so you’re saying that male hotivity is all about access?
@The Champ,
Is that even in question for someone of Lil Wayne’s age?
Most women I know seem to hit the “I can get into a relationship now” mode by 25 or so. I would venture to think that’s about on par with our group of intelligent folks here at VSB.
Most dudes I know are like “Huh? What? Yeah, I got a girl… but I still do my thang” or some mess… Until something clicks and they begin to be on the same page as the females.
Anyway, if given the option, most pre-I can rent a car without paying the extra daily charge-dudes are more than willing to at least ATTEMPT to bone every fine thing in sight.
Wayne has that option, apparently. And Sometimes… SOMETIMES, the one you with is just TOO GOOD to PULL OUT.
Of course, that last statement only applies to Lauren. I can’t imagine any of the others look half as good. I mean… it IS Mr. Roach himself…
@Dante_Alexander, yeah…hate to say it but I agree with you. plus, I mean its Lauren London. she’s been on every dude’s list for years at this point.
Lil Wayne might be a ho, but he’s the kind you aspire towards. LOL.
@Dante_Alexander,
I assume most men of enviable power/wealth have “access” and most probably take advantage, but I don’t think of them all as hoes. For instance, Jamie Foxx is an actor, and thus bangs a much higher caliber groupie much more often, but I don’t see “ho” when I see him.
Wayne on the other hand sings about “I’d love you if you were prostitute…”, admitted to having a rel’ship with Superhead and gets mad chicks pregnant. *Blows whistle* Flagrant hoti-v-i-t-y!
@Me fail english?, hm. getting mad chicks pregnant doesn’t make him a ho. it makes him uncautionistic. i mean, say he’d only slept with 4 chicks total, and got them all preggers? would he be a ho or just overly potent.
on the other hand the fact that he’s Lil Wayne and is probably banging chicks from New York to North Kak to Compton makes him the ho.
once again, though, Lauren London. lol.
@Panama Jackson,
“say he’d only slept with 4 chicks total, and got them all preggers? would he be a ho or just overly potent.”
No. He’d be overly stupid for freaking them all raw. His Herp game was probably on 10!
@Panama Jackson,
I’d tend to think that the reckless-ness of barebacking with people certainly ups the ho ante. Or even the fact that he’s not discriminatory enough to sleep with the type of girl to use birth control contributes to the ho score.
Who’s more of a ho? The guy who sleeps sfaely with 20 chicks a month or the guy who sleeps with 4 hoodrats his whole life and never bothered with condoms. I’d say they’re evenly matched .
@Panama Jackson,
Wayne is livin the life most nigs wish come on nu-nu and nivea
@Me fail english?,
For instance, Jamie Foxx is an actor, and thus bangs a much higher caliber groupie much more often, but I don’t see “ho” when I see him. .
I def. think Jamie GETS IT IN!!! Male and female.
@V Renee,
“I def. think Jamie GETS IT IN!!! Male and female.”
Yep, me too cause I’ve seen way to many photos of him looking suspect, lol.
@Me fail english?,
If J. Foxx is banging a different chick every night then he a ho too for slanging that meat to whomever (high caliber or not) want to jump on it! A high caliber chick does not exclude anyone from hotivity and she a ho too if she is just trying to bone celebrities cause of their money.Just cause he don’t get someone preggers on the regular do not make him not be a ho, not that I am calling Jamie a ho cause I don’t know his f**king antics! He can just be a lo-key ho. Just a thought???
@Ms. T, A high caliber chick does not exclude anyone from hotivity and she a ho too
Agreed. Just because people clean up well doesn’t mean they are spared. A “high caliber” chick that sleeps around but uses birth control, the day after pill, or abortions is to keep herself looking spotless is just as accountable as a “hoodrat” who choose to have her kids.
@Ms. T,
I agree, but for that matter, pretty much every man in Hollywood would be a ho…and that doesn’t make for an interesting list.
I’m talking about the all-time champs of this ish. The ones who walk by and you can just smell the ho ish wafting off of them. I get a good wiff off Wayne. Not so much Jamie.
@pgh muse
“Agreed. Just because people clean up well doesn’t mean they are spared”
hmmm. interesting take considering your comments down thread about e. badu
@Frederico Savage,
“Can we give Lil Wayne honorable mention for having about 3 babies on the way @ once? ”
Yessir! Yeah, I know you got A Milli…a milli baby-makers. Put it away, Weez.
@DanteA,
Henry the VIII
Cmon, he INVENTED divorce so he could bone in peace.
good ole Henry was boning everything even before his divorce. but then he decided divorce was just too messy of an affair, so he just started killing women so he could ho around and not worry about his wife objecting…hard to cause trouble for the king when you’re dead…crazy!!
@N.I.A. naturally….,
lol, talk about some killa p*ssy
@DanteA, btw
“i’m so sexist”
is a tshirt, if i’ve ever seen one.
@Panama Jackson,
I already own it.
Along with another that says: “If I’m a 3, you’re a feminist.”
Zazzle is the best invention EVER.
@Dante_Alexander,
“If I’m a 3, you’re a feminist.”
Baaahhhhhh!!!
Can we include friends, people from college and work, loved ones, and acquaintances on this list?
@Humble One,
Who are you trying to put on blast on the interwebs?
@Humble One, LMAO.
@Humble One,
LOL!! I was thinking the same thing. There are a few friends and a cousin or 2 who should be on this list.
@Humble One,
This would be the longest post with the most comments EVER if we did that.
@Humble One,
sure. why not?
@The Champ,
Yay!! Not one to gossip, but I have to add my tenant to this list as she has 5 kids with different brothers so siblings are cousins and fathers are uncles and mothers are aunts… I always get the a”I’m my own grandpaw” song stuck in my mind when hassling her for my rent check…
@Wanjiru, this is either the Blackest or most Appalachian comment I’ve ever read in my life.
@Wanjiru,
I wanna give a shot out to my Uncle Dad!
@Humble One,
yes please. To paraphrase the world is filled with peemps and h0s, why can’t we talk about the ones we know?
The biggest ho in history was Zeus, king of the Gods. HANDS DOWN!!! Zeus slept with his wife & married her. Dude used to change forms so he could come to earth to bang other mere non-Gods. Dude slept w/ ERRONE! Thats why Hades hated on him. That was the original Hater.
Mount Olympus was nothing but his brothel in the sky. And he used Earth as the attic he took the jump offs.
ZEUS: Biggest Ho that ever Hoed!
*Sigh* I love Greek Mythology.
@Thuggie Luvvie,
I meant slept with his sister and married her, btw
@Thuggie Luvvie, Round of Applause, only you would take it to Greek Mythology…. “A Brothel in the sky”……
Your one of a kind.
@JamaicanGirl,
Greek Mythology was full of nothing BUT hosh*t. Soap operas follow storylines from Zeus and his troop of trifling trollops. Reality TV on Mount Olympus woulda been a GREAT show, talm bout “You’ve been smited. Your chance ends here” and the loser gets a leaf crown taken from them.
AWE.SOME.
@Thuggie Luvvie, and they’ll be getting drunk on Ambrosia Martini’s and shyt… nice.
@Naturally Alise,
Not Ambrosia martinis!
@Thuggie Luvvie,
Deceased @ “you’ve been smited…” Only you could come up with something that funny! LMAO!
As a matter of fact, I think that might just be a t-shirt in the making!
@Thuggie Luvvie,
I would so TiVo a reality show in Mount Olympus!
“Mount Olympus: where Ambrosia and Godliness don’t mix!”
@Ms. Sula,
Lmao
I bet you Zeus had some dope pickup lines. I imagine they’d be:
*”I rule the world. Let’s bone”
*”I’m Zeus. Let’s bone”
*”Bone me, lest you want to feel my rage and be smited”
Ladies: *giggle* “Zeus, you so crazy.” *drop toga*
He was indeed, the original Player (not from the Himalayas though).
@Thuggie Luvvie,
Ladies: Is that a lightening bolt in your toga or are you happy to see me? rawr…
@Naturally Alise,
Zeus: Actually, yes it is a lightening bolt. I’ve been looking all over the place for that. But I AM happy to see you still! So… we boning or what?
@Thuggie Luvvie,
If you are boning a God it brings new meaning to “Oh My God!”?
@Naturally Alise,
or should it turn into “Oh! you’re a god?”
@Thuggie Luvvie,
Gosh! I’m in awe…
@Wanjiru,
Whatcha in awe of, Wanjiru?
@Thuggie Luvvie, you ninjas read too much.
@Panama Jackson,
Hmm, I see you’re a student of the Kanye West School of (non) thought. That negro actually hated on BOOKS! iCan’t.
@Thuggie Luvvie, he did hate on books. which is a damn shame of epic proportions. but was anybody really surprised?
kanye doesnt look like he reads.
@Panama Jackson,
“kanye doesnt look like he reads”
As of late, Kanye doesn’t even look like he washes.
@RedBeanzNRice w/Cornbread,
Right? I bet he and Amber just lay up in their mayo-scented sweat and spray cologne on themselves when it’s time to go out.
“mayo-scented sweat and spray cologne on themselves when it’s time to go out.”
*dry heave*
Coming to a blog near you (MINE):
“Greek Mythology HoSh*t”
Will write it this wknd and post it next week. Be on that lookout for that EXCLUSIVE JURNT (not joint, but jurnt)!
*DEAD*
like seriously. I’m dead. Like I just read this whole post to my friend over the phone. We laughed.
Then when I explained what this site is all about he asked, “Why are they putting all the men’s secrets on the internet? That’s not smart” ……… all i could do was laugh. LOL
@Selah,
My SO keeps saying the same thing. Except he co-signs all the The Wire references (which I have still never seen… pure laziness at this point.)
@Ms. Sula, I’ve yet to see the Wire either (don’t hate me Champ!) but it’s because my mom never paid for HBO, and ah’s jus a broke college student who caint ‘ford no dvd boxset! LOL
@Selah,
netflix solves ALL of these problems. use their FREE trial to at least watch Season 1 for cryin out loud!!!!!
@Ms. Sula,
You and Selah both need to get thee to the nearest movie rental establishment and start renting season DVD’s (in order) to get caught up…STAT!
@luvtheshoes,
yeah. there’s really no excuse at this point. not watching the wire is failing as an american
@The Champ, and at life.
failing as an american and at life? it’s like your George Bush.
@Panama Jackson,
peej, you’ve been on a roll lately. good job. wayta get back in the vsb game
@Gem
thanks. i do what i can. for a minute i think folks forgot about PJ.
@Panama Jackson, ouccchh. lol
@The Champ,
I know, I know… I’ve been put on notice… But I am so lazy… and everybody already knows the plot… It would be so un-original.
*pouts*
@Sula, don’t trip. just “get thee” to a dvd rental store, too. lololol….now if only I could find someone to let me borrow their blockbuster card….
@The Champ,
I’ve never seen a Wire show lol
dont have cable lol
@BLUNTBLAZER, well d*mn. Not even cable? at least get you some DirecTV lol
i’m not sure what to do/feel with this post. at all. lol.
and since danteA called out my girl marilyn up top and champ shouted out bill, go on ahead and add jfk to the list.
oh and I don’t know why but this post made me think of that scene in the brothers where jenifer lewis’ ex husband came in with that black french chick at the party and jl started calling her all kinds of ho3s while they pulled her away.lol
@SouthernGirl,
i’m not sure what to do/feel with this post
lol, just be happy you weren’t on it
@The Champ,
*shock and awe*
*side eye*
don’t make me cut you champ.
@The Champ, hey!
@SouthernGirl,
stank hu?? no, stank HO lmao
Paris Hilton, Angelina Jolie, Eddie Murphy, The Kardashians, any cast member on a VH1 dating show, and um let’s throw Amber Rose in for good measure. And Lil Wayne get a dishonorable mention. All these kids from a dude who rapped “better use that latex cause you don’t want that late ex”? Oh and I almost forgot Russell Simmons.
@Nola Darling,
I already talked bout how I’ont understand why Lil Wayne gets play. But Russell Simmons? He looks like Drake if u fast forward by 40 years. He got a bad case of the “candle face”. Looks like it’s melting. And his lips look like they feel the weight of the world. All downtrodden and dragging (Do ur lips hang low, do they wobble to and fro. Can u tie em in a knot, Can you tie em in a bow…). THAT is one web of oppression I am not willing to get tangled with.
*Reads what I just said*
Oh lawd I need to pray and repent my sins. I think St. Peters just crossed my name off his VIP list to get into them Golden Gates of Glory. Favva, forgive me for I have IGed…
I’mo have to CC Allah, Yahweh, Buddah AND Vishnu on that one. I’mo need the backup.
@Thuggie Luvvie,
*Slap-boxes with Wolverine* (in other words *DEAD*)
@Thuggie Luvvie, *MUERTE*
I refuse!
*bolts into rabbit hole… hysterical laughter floats up*
@Thuggie Luvvie,
*flatline*
@Thuggie Luvvie, ****running around office screaming laughter, doing Arsenio Hall whoop whoop gesture with one hand, while the other hand is in a “mike holding” position over the mouth. ***
You are Ka-LOWING this morning. lol
@Thuggie Luvvie,
______________________ ….time of death: 8:21am.
@Thuggie Luvvie, wow, Thuggin’ Luv…that might be one of the funniest things I’ve read since at least 8am this morning.
candle face? that so aptly describes Drake’s face, i’m in awe.
you are my hero…or would be if Plies wasn’t already my hero.
@Thuggie Luvvie,
You are SPOT-ON. That IS how Drake is gonna look. You are psychic my dear, Luvvie the thug. Psychic.
@Nola Darling, not to be a stickler for lyrical accuracy or anything…but errum…the actual end to that quote is:
“…you don’t want that late TEXT, that I think I’m late TEXT” not “late ex”
not to be a stickler or anything.
@Panama Jackson, lmao, i can be that way too. that was a great line though, worthy of making clear.
he still a roach, ok i was just going to make a joke including texas, lil wayne, latinos, and RAIIIIID, but…i just need more food.
Champale? The hell? Don’t get mad at me cause you tried to take every last one of them hos home (including the dudes) to meet the folks as your S.O. I’m nowhere near being on that list cause I keeps my knees bolted – something you clearly can’t do – ole bow-legged, bucket-headed self.
BTW –edit deez.
To add:
Paris Hilton (already mentioned). But she’s not only a ho – she’s a ho that comes bearing gifts! (see:Valtrex)
Pamela Anderson. She’s another gift bearer who LOVES to share her wealth with the masses. (see:Hep. C.)
What continues to puzzle me is why on Earth these dudes keep running up in them chicks when they know good and well they’re gonna catch something sooner or later.
@RedBeanzNRice w/Cornbread,
What continues to puzzle me is why on Earth these dudes keep running up in them chicks when they know good and well they’re gonna catch something sooner or later
well, for most of them, they’d just be “sharing” sh*t
@The Champ,
“well, for most of them, they’d just be “sharing” sh*t”
Yep, gonorrhea, crustaceans, the herp, chlamydia – you name it. It’s a cornucopia of contamination.
@RedBeanzNRice w/Cornbread,
Gaby Union comes to mind lol I think half of black hollywood hit that
@RedBeanzNRice w/Cornbread,
“these dudes keep running up in them chicks when they know good and well they’re gonna catch something sooner or later.”
Reminds me of lay-a-way, buy now and pay later!
Eazy E
BTW, I love the names the commentators are throwing out.
VSB: Where Greek Mythology Lives
@Hostess,
i forgot about ol eric wright.
@Hostess,
“Eazy E”
I ain’t the one to gossip but I give ANY man who had AIDS in the early 90s the *Ne-Yo side-eye*. Means they contracted the virus since the early-mid 80s, when it truly was still seen mainly in gay men.
I ain’t tryna stir the pot. I may just flip it over.
@Thuggie Luvvie,
You are on it today! Calling everyone one of them ninjas out! LOL
@Thuggie Luvvie, Oh how I luv thee!!!! I ain’t one to gossip…but…
@Thuggie Luvvie,
Oooh, scandal.
Hmm…things that make ya go hmm.
@Thuggie Luvvie,
i have my own conspiracy therory on easy e him gettin aids, drugs, nwa and the riots but its to early
Oh yeah, and if we’re talking reality show hos – let’s not forget Tila Tequila. That chick didn’t care who got the goods – male or female, as long as they got the job done.
@RedBeanzNRice w/Cornbread,
Oooh, good one. She got ho face.
@Cheekie,
“She got ho face.”
Girl, her whole inner sanctum is on some ho sh*t.
@RedBeanzNRice w/Cornbread,
*snort*
Too true.
@Cheekie,
heard she was bangin souja boy
lol
@BLUNTBLAZER,
Ugh. And everytime someone mentions Soulja Boy, I experience the pure pain felt when I realized we shared a birfday. *cries*
@Cheekie,
LOL! Don’t worry girl. I was born the same day as Obama, but I don’t see me making it to the Oval Office no time soon, haha.
But don’t 50 Cent and Dubya share a bday too?
@BLUNTBLAZER,
“heard she was bangin souja boy”
Well then they’re a match made in “heaven” cause both of they lil overrated butts need to go sit down somewhere and just fade to black. Yes, please and thank you.
Regine from Living Single was on #hosh*t of epic proportions, and on the golddigging tip to boot…
Blanche Devereaux was a lifetime hosh*t perpetuator, she was on her :
AARP Social SecurityHosh*t
Like Ol’ Folks Pissin’ It All Depends Though Hosh*t
Cashed in 401K Hosh*t
OG Hosh*t
Meno-pause.. naw just stop Hosh*t
She is something of legend…..
@Naturally Alise,
Blanche Devereaux was on that
Geritol Hosh*t
Lay in my Bosom Hosh*t
Hip Replacement Hosh*t
Sofia used to CLOWN her too. Like the ep when she was going to join the convent.
Sofia (to Rose): “Aw Rose, you’re so sweet. I’m gonna miss you.” *turns and looks at Blanche* “Blanche *pause* you’re a slut”
iDied!
@Thuggie Luvvie,
Freakum HouseDress Hosh*t
I Ain’t Too Ensure About This Hosh*t
@Naturally Alise,
Hypoglycemia HoSh*t
One-A-Day (and sometimes twice) Hosh*t
Floral floor length negligee HoSh*t
@Thuggie Luvvie,
Diabeetus Hosh*t
Da Suga Hosh*t
Do Get That In My Cataract Eye Hosh*t
@Naturally Alise,
Glaucoma HoSh*t
Macular Degeneration HoSh*t
The Gout HoSh*t
Ben Gay Eau de Toilette HoSh*t
…
@Thuggie Luvvie,
Ya’ll are too much!!! Have me convulsing over here at my desk, but i loved blanche-the original samantha, on that thanks for the medicare blue cross and blue sheild a hip that finally healed hosh*t lol!
@The “Thuggie Luvvie and Naturally Alise” Revue,
*DEAD*
I can’t STAND ya’ll, got my tummy hurtin’ from crackin’ up and mess.
@Naturally Alise,
How can I forget my favorite ho of them all? Blanche Devereaux was on some next Miami 60+ hosh*t like none before. Bwoy, and she did it all so gracefully.
@Naturally Alise,
LOL!! Blanche was on some other type of ho shyt. that girl wore red at her wedding….
@N.I.A. naturally….,
If Blanche was to get married, her dress had to be the color of dirty hot dog water that had cheetos thrown in. She’d get struck down if she even LOOKED at a white or ivory dress.
Im just suprised so many people are commenting and not pulling the “i dont judge other people or actions” that comes up in most of these ho shyt style posts…….
@Shay_d_lady,
If you write it, the Wet Blanketers will come. Just you wait… it’s gon b dank and murky blankets all up thru here by noon.
@Thuggie Luvvie,
nah the wettest of blankets won’t comment until after 5, cuz they are all diligently working at their lpaces of employment and certainly NOT lollygagging on the internet! (GASP) certainly not!
@Shay_d_lady,
““i dont judge other people or actions””
I don’t judge other people or actions. Thank you.
@Shay_d_lady,
EFF DEM… ho-sh1t RAWKS! lol
@Shay_d_lady, LMAO, that’s what i was thinking. personally, i love discussing the many forms of holistic living, hofessionals need love too.
***btw, breath easy overit and redbeanz. i edited the list down from “14?, so your names didn’t make the cut***
ha.ha.ha. realizing “cut deez” might not be a wise response…i’ll be back when i have my bagel.
happy friday people!!!
@Shay_d_lady,
I do wonder…is calling someone a “ho” really judging, or is it just calling them what Webster dictionary says? Which makes it a fact, not an opinion. lol It’s like someone calling me a person and me responding, “STOP judging me!!”
*Anna Nicole Smith. Dude she married was like 250 years old & I am sure had worms (Not sure what that means but my Auntie used to say it about old men LOL).
*Hugh Heffner. I think that him running behind all those young girls is gross. I am sure he has worms too.
*My Grandma Sarah (RIP Gma!!) She had 9 kids by 9 different dudes. I love my family but I swear none of us look alike. It’s like a chocolate rainbow when we get together!!
@Yaa,
*My Grandma Sarah (RIP Gma!!) She had 9 kids by 9 different dudes. I love my family but I swear none of us look alike. It’s like a chocolate rainbow when we get together!!
I bet they got the internet in heaven…or hell…or wherever ur Nana ended up! lol…she gwon haunt ur @ss for this one!! “chocolate rainbow” CLASSIC!
@Yaa,
OH NOOO!! Not GMa Sarah on the HoSh*t list! LMAO!!! Yall VSBers are killing me not so softly 2nite. BWAAHAHAHA
@Yaa,
Dayum…you called out your G-Ma?
*giggling*
@miss t-lee,
Word! I feel entirely uncomfy commenting on that.
But like my Daddy always says “Somebody mama was a ho…”
Wise words from a wise man.
@Me fail english?,
But like my Daddy always says “Somebody mama was a ho…”
lol
@Me fail english?, What…I just stated a fact LOL! I loved that woman she was funny as hell & shared many of her life stories & ideologies with me none of which involve baking cookies or anything like that LOL! She was a different kind of Big Mama.
@Yaa,
Far be it for me to hate on Grandma Sarah. I like feisty chicks! And I’ve got some “less than conservative” ladies in my family too.
@Yaa,
LMAO!! Dang Grandma Sarah…
I wonder if she’s in heaven getting it in?@N.I.A. naturally….,
It wouldn’t be heaven if she wasn’t.
@N.I.A. naturally….,
lmao spel sis ihatechu
@Yaa,
*My Grandma Sarah (RIP Gma!!) She had 9 kids by 9 different dudes. I love my family but I swear none of us look alike. It’s like a chocolate rainbow when we get together!!
wow. so basically ya’ll just rent out the superdome for family reunions, huh?
@The Champ, Uhmmmm I didnt say 9 dudes that actually claim their kids LMAO!! Like I said…she was a different type of Big Mama.
@Yaa,
All I can think about is Tupac’s song “I get around”
@Yaa,
I can’t BELIEVE you called out the granny. I love this place.
In random news, please look at something that is funner than Champ’s hairline and Luvvie’s false sense of pride: http://tinyurl.com/nrm7rx … prepare to cackle.
@Naturally Alise,
See?? I aint e’en say nuthin to ur bald-head skittle dittle self (yes, call me POT). Must u mess w/ me? Whyyyy????
Anywho, Google’s representation of “Diabeetus” has SLAYED ME! Esp. the old man in the “b*tches dont know bout my diabeetus” shirt.
@Naturally Alise,
I swear those commercials are the best reason to watch “The Price Is Right” besides Plinko and the yodeler game. You ever see Family Guy’s take on it?
Laughing at and memorizing that and those Cancer Treatment Center commercials are giving me tickets on the bullet train to hell. It’s not what Phyllith Ellith says, it’s how she says it.
@Beez,
“memorizing that and those Cancer Treatment Center commercials”
But how could you not? They play them thangs over a hunnid times a day. As soon as I hear the music in the beginning, the mute button goes on. My least favorite one is the bulldagger sitting there talm bout how the doctor said “I didn’t see an expiration date on the bottom of your foot….”
The hell kind of medical school did that fool go to that told him to look on somebody’s foot for an expiration date?
@RedBeanzNRice w/Cornbread,
After Phyllith Ellith, I can’t help but titter at the guy who says “this big, burly doctor” repeatedly. Let’s just say he ain’t all that dainty, himself.
@Beez,
“Let’s just say he ain’t all that dainty, himself.”
LMAO! Clearly he has those funhouse mirrors in his house! *secretly wishing I could have one too*
@RedBeanzNRice w/Cornbread,
But how could you not? They play them thangs over a hunnid times a day. As soon as I hear the music in the beginning, the mute button goes on. My least favorite one is the bulldagger sitting there talm bout how the doctor said “I didn’t see an expiration date on the bottom of your foot….”
this comment is funny as hell. but yo a*s ain’t right. lol.
@Naturally Alise,
I fell out my chair.
@Champ. I will step up to your challenge regarding Erykah Badou. Ummmmmmmmm, can you say Diddy? I think he meets the critera 3 baby mammas, never been maried and a multi millionaire. WTF? Just when I thought you were being fair. SMH
@El,
I got a multi hundred-aire to add to the list: Flavor Flav. No way he’s got sebun kids. These women must be blind or something! Then again, he looks like his breath has powers that’ll make the blind see again. On some ol miraculous type mess.
@Beez, Good job Beez. I always forget about the ugly people. LOL. Yeah, I can only imagine what his breath smells like. It probablylly smells worse than the back of a sweaty thong. LMAO. EARLY!
@El,
lmao @ “I always forget about the ugly people”
@Gem…BeThatAsItMay,
That made me giggle too
@Gem…BeThatAsItMay, Sorry but it’s true. You know it is funny but true. This ugly girl came up to me the other day and I had no clue who she was. She said she knew me from high school I was like, “oh, okay!” LMAO I know it’s bad, they are just easier to forget. Js (just saying)
@Beez,
“Then again, he looks like his breath has powers that’ll make the blind see again.”
*deceased and speaking through a medium*
I don’t even know how I missed that comment! LMAO! Bref so bad it makes ya lips melt tryna kiss that fool.
I had a classmate in high school that I used to sit behind, and I swear her bref smelled like hot garbage in a NY city sewer in July. But damn, how you gonna talk, and your bref flows BEHIND you to assault my nose hairs? *sighs* We need some laws in this country!
@El,
that’s easy suga.. DIDDY’s a ho3 too! POW! problem solved!
@GOODENess, Diddy is the biggest ho!
@El,
“Diddy is the biggest ho!”
…wit’ dudes possibly on his list of conquests too.
@El, “Diddy is the biggest ho!”
I co-sign!
@El,
I think he meets the critera 3 baby mammas, never been maried and a multi millionaire
lol, this is true.
now name another woman.
@The Champ,
yeah there are tons of multimillionaire male hos… scour the rosters of any professional athletic team and there’s bound to be one on there
@The Champ, ummm, I’ll take Kim Porter for 300 alex. LOL!
@El, not sure how much money he made and um, bless the dead, and all…but ODB had something like 13 kids or so.
doesn’t really fit here, but i just wanted to shout out ODB since he gave us the rawdogg anthem…
“…ooh baby i like it raw…yeah baby i like it raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw…”
sidenote: wondering why there’s not a rapper out there named Rawdogg
@Panama Jackson, LMAO! Please don’t give anybody permission to rap under the name raw dawg
@El,
Yeah, Diddles is most def a slore. And I hate him with the fire of a thousand million suns.
@Cheekie, Wow Cheekie. I can’t back you on that. Diddy is about the only person that can draw me to the club. Diddy all white party… pricess. Don’t hate the hussler please. I love Diddy!
@El,
I don’t hate the hussler, I hate the no-dancing, egocentric, sending-folks-for-cheesecake-just-to-front, have-to-be-everywhere, song-stalking man behind the hussler.
I’d still go to his parties, though. Mama didn’t raise no fool.
@Cheekie, oh okay. Then we cool. I don’t like everything about the man, but I do love the term b*tchassness that he gave my community to abuse. LOL !
@El,
Oh, I hate that term. Probably because he reeks of it himself. lol
So, it’s not necessarily the term, but again..the man behind it.
I’d like to add Sandra Clark (and possibly in real life, Jackee too, she seemed to have those tendencies) to the list.
Exhibit A:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M3H1w4MFBgM
@Beez,
lol, watching 227 as a youngster actually made me want to live in an apartment building, just for the chance to have a slutty neighbor like sandra clark
@The Champ,
i still have a crush on her she was celibate for a while tho huh?
@BLUNTBLAZER,
“she was celibate for a while tho huh?”
A recycled ho is still a ho.
@RedBeanzNRice w/Cornbread, LMAO!!!
First of all, I am mad that I am up this late doing actual work… work I tell ya. Hmmph! If it weren’t for these TETs….
Secondly, that entry was HILARIOUS (or am I delirious for lack of sleep)… but I agree queen josaca, helen of troy and moulay ismail were on some serious history transcendental hosh*t!!
In conclusion, I think an honorary mention should go to that blonde girl in the real world Las Vegas (forgot her name)… She really made that season (the last for me) entertaining and memorable.
Good job, Champie poo poo… (come on, it’s quite becoming
)
@Ms. Sula,
“Good job, Champie poo poo… (come on, it’s quite becoming”
But it really isn’t, lol.
@Ms. Sula, Girl was it Trishelle? cause if not she definitely goes down in the reality tv hall of hoedom….
@shay_d_lady,
Yup! Trishelle was the name!
you’re not gonna like it…but I gotta type it…
Martin Luther (the) King, Jr.
not documented…but well known…he had a dream…a wet one…
@GOODENess,
I only have one problem with that post… it’s Martin Loofa Da Kaing… that is all.
@GOODENess,
Here lies Luvvie. She was too young. It was too soon.
My ghost shall haunt u from behind the veil b/c u CLEARLY jus did me in!
WHY MUST I CRY??? *wall slide*
@Thuggie Luvvie,
*sad trumpet sound*
@GOODENess,
he had a dream…a wet one…
back to the corner!!!
@The Champ,
Goodie ain’t supposed to have left it. We hired WuDaMan as the bouncer for the corner but Goodie bribed him w/ some Salmon Bacon and he let her out.
@GOODENess,
“not documented…but well known…he had a dream…a wet one…”
*GASP*
OMG, January and February will NEVA H be the same again. THANKS, GOODENess. Thanks.
@Cheekie,
So sad, yet so true.
*cueing up some music*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ytCEuuW2_A
@miss t-lee,
Omg, NO. LMFAO…ROFL.
I LOATHE you. The loathing, it is so, so strong and firm.
@Cheekie,
Thanks…I think?
*giggling*
@miss t-lee,
LOL! You’re welcome.
I wish this post was “People who think poppin’ out babies is cute”…
Because not only would Badu, Lauryn Hill, Travis Henry, Eazy, Shawn Kemp and them be on the wall of shame…
But I’d be happy to panther swipe Nadya Suleman and the Duggars. People who equate making babies to collecting trophies disgust me.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
“People who equate making babies to collecting trophies disgust me.”
How can you say that’s what Erykah and Lauryn were actually doing? I mean yeah, they hooked up with some famous dudes, but they were famous too, so I can’t say it was like a “look who my baby’s daddy is” type of thing.
Maybe they just had babies with the dudes because they loved each other before their relationships went south.
@RedBeanzNRice w/Cornbread, Maybe they just had babies with the dudes because they loved each other before their relationships went south.
In my experience hoes fall in love easily..hence the problem…LMAO
aww dayum… I bet this is the one….
@shay_d_lady,
“In my experience hoes fall in love easily..hence the problem…LMAO”
In YOUR experience? Girl, are you a ho too? Wait, ok, you must mean you’ve witnessed hos falling in love that way, lol.
But you know what, I don’t think they really do. See, hos are just that – HOES. They know it’s all about a f*ck thang, so their emotional defenses are up. Sure they want to fall in love, but TRUE hos know exactly what they are, and they know their place. Bottom or top – no love involved, lol.
@shay_d_lady,
In my experience hoes fall in love easily..hence the problem…LMAO
LOL
@RedBeanzNRice w/Cornbread,
Yeah I don’t think Lauryn or Nadya belong anywhere near a ho list. Lauryn stayed with a dude that she prob shouldn’t have and do we have proof that Nadya’s ever even had sex???
@Me fail english?,
i dont know if nadya makes the ho list, but she definitely makes the “biggest freaks” cut
With me, it’s like one can look like they’re just on a poppin’ out babies mission, as if it’s a hobby. You don’t have to be a ho to look a little off doing that sort of thing. Reminds me of hoarding. It’s borderline sociopathic (in the case of Suleman and the Duggars).
And @ The Champ, Suleman might have been a freak worth getting it in with…when she was 18…before her factory was up and running….
aww he.ll yall have named all the hoes!!!!
I gotta go old school
Apollonia.. not only was she extra quick to purify herself in them waters..she also got with his rival with no remorse…
cold…bloooded…
which brings me to Mr Im Rick James Biatch!
Rick was a ho of epic proportions.. and that was before he resulted to kidnappin bishes and burnin em with cigarettes!
Brandy…Wanya (?), Mase, Kobe, old boy you lied about being married too.. but really though Mase? Sittin on top of the world, top of the world….sittin on top of the world
and of course
Prince… but to his credit he at least got you a lil bit of fame or a single when he put you on….LOL
@shay_d_lady,
“Rick was a ho of epic proportions”
And if he were alive right now, I guarantee he would STILL be a ho of epic proportions.
*singin’* Doo-doo-doo-doo – Mary Jay-hain!
@RedBeanzNRice w/Cornbread, dayum, now you know I am not going to be able to get that song out of my head now. What a mess you started.
@El,
Rick james used to go to the hoe stroll instead of tha grocery sto “do-ya. do-ya, do-ya, do-ya now do-ya think you can love me maaaaary jane, dont you play no games” yesssssssssssss
@RedBeanzNRice w/Cornbread,
he had the “she was only 17″ song tooo lolol
@shay_d_lady,
cigarette my arse! Girl, that was a crackpipe! Mr. James got to that next level!
And I know Karrine is a ho, but dang, can you at least spell her name right? In the words of Houdini – “You can say what ya want, but spell my name right”, lol. It’s Steffans. ; )
@RedBeanzNRice w/Cornbread,
thanks and sh*t. although you almost made the cut, i’ll still invite you to the vsb bbq
@The Champ,
Yer welcome an sh*t – buster.
@RedBeanzNRice w/Cornbread, you know, speaking of karrine steffans…how does one pick one particular pr0n star over others? i mean she’s become famous for it, but there are lots of other pr0n chicks working as hard if not harder at being bigger hoes than ole Superhead.
she’s just the most literate.
@Panama Jackson,
Superhead gets a special nod cuz she didn’t always get a check for her exploits. Extra credit, “head” of the class ho ish.
I think in her book she said she had to go back to stripping and even prostituting and sleepin in a car. Im sure black p*rn chicks dont command the same loot as their white counterparts but…damn.
“Jeebs be a local 99 p*rn union” ho ish.
@Panama Jackson,
“she’s just the most literate.”
And that’s why she gets all the props. Tricks love a hoe that can read ‘em a good betime story after giving vicious brain. Well that, and a cup of hot chocolate.
@RedBeanzNRice w/Cornbread,
“and a cup of hot chocolate.”
With toast and pancakes. Nuff said.
Have to disagree on that Erykah Badu one. Three kids with three different men def throws up the ho3-ish red flag, but were her intentions ho3-ish? I dont think so. I think she truly loved each man she had a child with. And as previously explained, ho3s not out here tryin to fall in love and ish.
@Ashley Neicole, hmmmmmmmmm, you made a good point. However, the fact that she had 3 kids by 3 men makes me question her morals and judement. Yes, I am juding the hell out of her. AND, when I see sh!t like that I ask myself… Why wouldn’t the man marry her? Seriously, 3 men didn’t think to marry you though he loved you and you had his kid. WOW! I mean they all were in love with her when she carried their baby to term. She is just a Texas hood rat (at heart) who lacks sense. Therefore, I too, conclude that she’s a ho………. ho! She’s a ho….. ho, I know that she’s a ho. (sorry for bringing back the old club song ya’ll but I couldn’t resist)
@El,
Not that this makes her any less of a ho or hoodrat, but it’s very possible that she aint wanna get married to them. That Baduism cooch makes dudes change religion. Im thinking if she wanted it they woulda been down.
@Me fail english?,
yea i think she got that super good good fuq club wet she pacific ocean status
@BLUNTBLAZER,
LOL! I’m still mad @ u for “Club WetWet”!
@El, She is just a Texas hood rat (at heart) who lacks sense
Eh. I don’t see E, Badu as a ho. Hood chick at heart maybe, but I wouldn’t call her a ho. And I wouldn’t say that she lacks sense either. Just because she chose to have kids by three different men doesn’t mean she doesn’t have sense. From the outside looking in maybe that’s what it looks like, but she’s not in poverty. She has plenty of means to care for her children as she pleases. The men she had them babies by were prolly down wit it. Men want trophy baby mama’s too. And she’s rich and seems to be a good mother so it’s a win/win for the man. He can have a seed w/ E. Badu – doesn’t really HAVE to pay child support and doesn’t have to worry about his kids getting picked up by the people cause she’s handling her business as a mommy. Some women like having children and don’t see it as curse or only to be done within the confines of marriage.
@pgh muse,
From the outside looking in maybe that’s what it looks like
lol, and since none of us actually know her personally, thats all we can go by. again, and i love e.badu, but if she was a regular ole texas project chick with three different baby daddies, everyone would assume that she’s not unfamiliar with hotivity.
famous and talented or not, sometimes you gotta call a spade a spade
@The Champ, But there is a BIG difference Champ. A marriage at its foundation in all of history is an economic arraingement (sp?)… in current times in America (where there is the possibility of plenty) we throw in love and all of that. But love can fade. How many people stay in unhappy relationships for the sake of the children because they feel that there is no other way (it’s cheaper to keep her)? She doesn’t have that problem, she’s rich. If you are a woman who has the means to provide for your children comfortably, there is really no NEED to get married. A lot of people see marriage as a moral thing and it is in the sense that for economic reasons mostly, it’s the best sitch for kids. If she was a regular Tx project chick, she would have a whole lot of other problems that prohibit her from being a good mother, providing for her seeds at the top of that list. But she doesn’t have those problems. So one can’t really compare her to a project chick, because she’s far from being in the projects.
@pgh muse,
you’re right. there’s no financial need for her to get married, but there is a bit of a need to have some continuity in your household.
what actually separates badu from the typical hood chick is the fact that she’s obviously been out of the hood, is obviously intelligent, is obviously rich, and should obviously know better, especially since she’s pushing 40.
also, i’m not implying that she’s not a good mother/provider. you can be a great mother and provider and still be a ho, lol. they aint mutually exclusive
@pgh muse, hmmmm, so are you saying if you can afford to have 10 babies by 10 men, go ahead? GTFOH. Erykah’s a ho, Diddy’s a ho, Kim’s a ho, etc. Mutiple kids buy more than 2 different people = ho. The end. Slamming the door in all ya’ll faces.
@El,
What if you live till you are in your 90′s and you get married 3 times? Still a ho?
Mayyyyyyyyne!
@Sula, um no. Marriage is the keyword. Hell, you can be married 5 times and have babies all five times and not be a ho in my opinion.
@El,
I recently read a rant she put up on this website called Okay Player. It’s from a while ago, back in Feb when it was first announced that she was with child again. She went off about people judging her and calling her names because of having 3 children out of wedlock, but the point she made was that it doesn’t matter that she isn’t married to any of her children’s fathers…her children are loved and they are well taken care of. She may have some of that hoodrat-ishness in her, but the woman is out here taking care of business. I think the only “bad” publicity Ms. Badu has gotten was surrounding the 3 children and no wedding ring issue. She is true to self and at least from what we can tell, she isn’t out here giving up the cooch to Tom, D*ck, Harry and Tyrone. She is still very good friends with all of her baby daddies. If she is a ho3, which I continue to say she isn’t, she’s one of the classiest I’ve seen.
@Ashley Neicole,
Classy h*e?
This is the best oxymoron ever.
@Ashley Neicole, I agree completely. I would hardly classify Erykah Badu as a ho. Now if she was out f**king for money or fun, had 3 kids by different daddies already, and popped up pregnant again and had no means to adequately care for herself and her babies that’s something else.
@Ashley Neicole,
Money issues aside, it’s still major risk in having three baby daddies. I can only imagine if one dad isn’t around as much as the other two.. Or she has a better friendship with one of the dads…or something else that can develop into an impropriety between the babies, what kinda emotional issues may that child have?
I heard on tv (or maybe in a book) some dude said it is inevitable that all parents WILL scar their children. But can’t we try to mitigate the more controllable ish??
@Ashley Neicole, ruk? Seriously, first off the whole “She is true to self and at least from what we can tell” is a lie. Do you not remember that heffa cutting off all her hair because she was rocking fake dreds? Please! There aint nothing classy about her at all. Love her music but would never raise my (future) daughter to follow her foot steps.
@El,
That Luda song was the ish! LOL
@Ms. T, you already know. Looking for my mix tape as we speak. Whew… good times. Shout out to the FAMUANS!!!!! :p
@El, I have to always represent when there’s a FAMU shout out… Go Rattlers!
@Ashley Neicole,
the road to ho is paved with good intentions.
that little white girl that had the affair with joey buddafuko**. If the alyssa milano movie is completely accurate–big “if,” I know–she crossed the line from being a helpless, statutorily raped young girl to just a big ol’ killer slut.
and then there’s kyle from college hill.
**if that spellling is wrong, I don’t want to be right.
@charli skipper,
PSST! *Leans in conspicuously* Kyle is boning Chris! Pass it on!
@Me fail english?,
“Kyle is boning Chris! Pass it on!”
*whispers to the next* Plies is deboning fish! Pass it on!
@RedBeanzNRice w/Cornbread,
Flies are on the bish! LOL
HAHAA, It’s funny how messages always get screwed up!
Ties are on the wish! LOL
@Ms. T,
Tiger’s bonin Rich?
@Me fail english?,
“Tiger’s bonin Rich?”
Naw Girl, she said “Reverend” Wright needs to be stabbed in the jugular with a number 2 pencil. Damn we need our hearing checked.
@RedBeanz,
LMAO!!! WTF?! This is how rumors get started…(and revolutions are born)…
@Me fail english?, I SO agree with this! That dude is SUSPECT as hell!
@charli skipper,
“that little white girl that had the affair with joey buddafuko**.”
Amy Fisher
LMAO @ this whole post & the comments as a whole but if ever there was any doubt it’s now confirmed that Luvvie’s a fawkin fool!
James Bond is quite the digging tool too.The fact that he’s smooth about it doesn’t absolve him-he ain’t that slick!
@YGB,
James Bond is quite the digging tool too
good point. and austin powers. and, i’m sure once darth vader was done grieving his chick, he was knee-deep in darkside coochie
@YGB,
Yes! James Bond probably is in the running for champion ho. He even has a ho line: “Bond. James Bond”. That is a panty-dropper if I ever heard one.
Well I do know this one…ahem…ho, who has one kid for each ethnicity. Her being white, shes got 2 half black, 1 asian, 1 hispanic, 1 hawaiian, 1 irish (the red haired one) & 1 caucasian.
Whats more amazing is that some sucker married her and helped her pop out one more child…which makes 3 half black.
We know her as the U.N.
@Mr. Mister,
lol. He has low self-esteem. But where the hell did she find a Hawaiian?! I thought they were extinct like the Dodo bird. Props to her on that. lol
@Me fail english?, I had to give her diversity points too.
She resembles a fatter, sloppier, uglier version of Kathy Bates btw…
@Mr. Mister,
I wouldnt expect anything less lol. and leave it to that fool ninja to wife her up…ninjas *smh*
@Mr. Mister,
“She resembles a fatter, sloppier, uglier version of Kathy Bates btw”
Umm… I thought Kathy Bates WAS the…
You know what? I’mo leave that alone. I just got my express ticket to Dereon Hades in the mail this morn. I dont need to be upgraded to the Penthouse Suite right next to Mama Tina (and her hot glue guns) & Lucifer
@Thuggie Luvvie,
“Umm… I thought Kathy Bates WAS the…”
Hee! I thought the same thing. So, naturally, I’m wondering what type of creature IS this…
@Mr. Mister,
OMG….my mouth is dropped open yet I’m not surprised at all. Ninjas…my people, my people…
@Mr. Mister,
lol. I aint wanna say it, but I’m not surprised one of the black dudes was the one to wife it. Yup…”it”.
@Me fail english?,
“But where the hell did she find a Hawaiian?! I thought they were extinct like the Dodo bird. Props to her on that. lol”
Um, there’s a whole STATE full of em. It’s called Hawaii.
@RedBeanzNRice w/Cornbread,
Nah… real hawaiians is like Kalel or Mork from Ort or ALF… They left dying planets to mate with Earthlings.
She found like the last missing link…
@RedBeanzNRice w/Cornbread,
I think he meant native Hawaiians. And a full-blooded Hawaiian is rare even over there. (It’s mostly Asian and white). God smote them
@Me fail english?,
“(It’s mostly Asian and white). God smote them”
Hmm. Well, you learn something new every day. Cause I could have sworn Hawaii was full of REAL Hawaiians – not implants.
But see, you can’t go by me, cause I thought all the extras on Fantasy Island were real Hawaiians.
@RedBeanzNRice w/Cornbread,
Girl, they just put some Filipinos in grass skirts.
(haha, I made this up but it’s probably true)
@RedBeanzNRice w/Cornbread,
Bay Area got Hawaiians dam sucks for yall
@RedBeanzNRice w/Cornbread,
“Bay Area got Hawaiians dam sucks for yall”
Nope – the Yay got Tongans, Samoans and Filipinos! And I don’t care what Me fail english says, those were REAL Hawaiians, lol.
*refusing to let her mess up my Fantasy Island memories* lol.
@Mr. Mister,
Her family photos probably look like a Benneton ad.
@Mr. Mister, OMG if she lives in Chicago, I know this woman…
@Mr. Mister,
you see ho, i see multiculturalism specialist.
I had never heard that Magic Johnson Skittles story before now. No freakin’ wonder!
Thanks for calling out Erykah. I was on another board a few months back after her daughter was born and everyone didn’t seem to think anything was wrong…lol
I love the movie Roxanne.
The thing about Camilla Parker-Bowles is that I saw one Prince Charles documentary and that woman has never been cute a day in her life. I figured when they showed the earlier photos of them in college, she’d at least be pretty. I was wrong.
This person isn’t famous, but what about that dude who has 21 kids that was in the news recently? He should make the cut.
Oh yeah, Happy Juneteenth ya’ll!!!
@miss t-lee,
I had never heard that Magic Johnson Skittles story before now. No freakin’ wonder!
yea. magic was apparent f*cked half of the state of california in the 80′s.
@miss t-lee,
“I had never heard that Magic Johnson Skittles story before now. No freakin’ wonder!”
Me either! And Skittles is my favorite candy. In fact, my childhood nickname is Skittles. Damn you to hell, Champ for tarnishing Skittles for me forever.
*puke*
@Cheekie,
And why black chicks gotta be purple? And what does he do when he gets green?
@Me fail english?,
“And why black chicks gotta be purple?”
I know! Like we Flava Flav or somethin’. Why can’t we be a hot fiery color like red? lol
“And what does he do when he gets green?”
Effs Kermit?
@Cheekie,
“Effs Kermit?”
And I hear he’s got that nasty woman’s disease…which would explain Magic’s “situation”
ba-dun-dun
Ok, that may have been in poor taste.
@Me fail english?,
*thud*
You are too much. I love it.
Hmm, biggest hoes in history? I’ma have to think about this one for a bit.
If memory serves me correct (as if I was around back then) Cleopatra used to get down with the get down quite a bit. Julius Caesar and all them n*ggas would probably fall in the same hoedom category.
Just off of GP, I would add Dr. Ruth and the “Sex Lady” into the mix. Them old geezers seem to know a whole lot of shyt and all that doesn’t come from a book.
Does the “Sex Lady” still come on??
@Monk,
You talking about Sue? I’m sure since I don’t subscribe to cable anymore, but she knew toooo much.
@Monk,
“Cleopatra used to get down with the get down quite a bit.”
Yeah, she mighta been the Queen of Egypt, but she was the Empress of Hoedom.
Nas is a ho…that’s probably why he can’t keep a woman to save his life.
Angelina is most def a ho. I don’t care how many marriages she’s had or broken up. Tonguing down your brother is some ho ish!
That decrepit old model chick, Janice Dickinson is a stale, rotting ho.
Jesse Jackson is a ho.
I heard Mya is a ho but I don’t believe it!! *plugs ears* Lalalalalalala….
Pretty Ricky’s dad is a ho.
@Me fail english?,
That decrepit old model chick, Janice Dickinson is a stale, rotting ho.
she scares me, like literally. i have to turn my head when she’s on screen.
@Me fail english?, Jesse Jackson is a good one.
shucks, Bill Cosby too for that matter. all these cats got illegitimate kids all over. which is interesting if you consider all the “good points” these ninjas get.
power breeds potential p*ssy. i guess sometimes you just cant say no.
@Panama Jackson,
power breeds potential p*ssy.
My preacher’s wife said that, but not in those words! heehee!
@Me fail english?,
“Pretty Ricky’s dad is a ho.”
He’s less of a ho and more of a traitor to Black folks for inseminating someone with sperms that would later grow up to be that band of brothers who specialize in buffonery and bullsh*t.
@Thuggie Luvvie,
On a separate note, I keep hearing “No mo’ oatmeal. Nuts of grape…” [/ol' Black church guy voice] on loop in my head and it’s all your fault.
How I wish I could un-hear that ish.
@Me fail english?,
You know my homegirl made me a ringtone of that…I love it.
It says “no mo’ bacon” on a loop.
I love my friends. lol
@Me fail english?,
“How I wish I could un-hear that ish.”
VSB: Where earplugs are necessary to read.
@RedBeanzNRice w/Cornbread,
Nah, she put up a link from Youtube. It had sound.
@Me fail english?,
repeat:
VSB: Where earplugs are necessary to read.
@RedBeanz,
Huh?
Translation: You don’t read Youtube. You see it with eyes and hear it with your ears!
I’ll show ya how someday
@Me fail english?,
“Tonguing down your brother is some ho ish!”
SHOLL is. I don’t care if she has a matronly ambassador aura about her now…she’s just a matronly ambassador ho. Which brings a totally different meaing to ambassador.
Oh, it’s like that VSB? I must be the only one whose h*e list couldn’t make it past moderation.
*Kicks over computer chair*
@Me fail english?,
nah…mine got moderated too.
I have nary a curse word in mine and it still got hijacked…lol
@Me fail english?,
Probably because the list itself was filthy. hehe
@Cheekie,
lol. Yes the list had AIDS and died
@Me fail english?,
Ok, you’ve brought me to this. The following clip is NOT FUNNY AT ALL:
http://www.hulu.com/watch/5547/family-guy-you-have-aids
If you have seen it, you know what I mean. *bursts into uncontrollable going-to-hell-with-gasoline-panties laughter*
@Cheekie,
LMFAO@ “You’ve got the AIDS….Not HIV but really, full-blown AIDS!”
Do you have a Family Guy clip that relates to everything I type?! lol!
@Me fail english?,
Yes. It is almost in the same vein as how The Color Purple relates to everything said and done in the world. Except in animated form.
Wait…I just had this brilliant idea. What if there was a Color Purple animated film? Even better…claymation. Copyrighted.
Oh snap! They could make little gray play-do balls for Mister’s peasy hair. I’d soooo watch.
@Me fail english?,
“They could make little gray play-do balls for Mister’s peasy hair.”
I hate that you made my tear ducts go into production. LMAO! And I’m mad at you for wanting to watch, lol
@Red Beanz,
It would be just like Gumby but with more beatings!
Lil kim
Trina
Professional athletes
And IN GENERAL, men with “options”
Reading the other comments led me to a question. Sooo, having chex because you wnted have chex and not based on emotions or future lifemate potential is an automatic admittance to the category of ho*dom? If so, this list will be almost every 17+ non virgin(for at least one bang session that wasn’t about love)! Or perhaps just the majority of folks I know.
@treble,
“Sooo, having chex because you wnted have chex and not based on emotions or future lifemate potential is an automatic admittance to the category of ho*dom? ”
I think making a habit of this is MOST DEFINITELY “Why must it burn?!!?!?” ho ish
@Me fail english?, I agree. Eventually you have to listen to more than just your flesh.
@treble,
“If so, this list will be almost every 17+ non virgin(for at least one bang session that wasn’t about love)! ”
…and we’re off…
@treble,
I was waiting for Kim and Trina to hit the list… Especially since Kim was talking bout sprite cans disappearing in her mouth and ish!
I’d add my father, the retired hooper, but he says he loved all his ho3s! Lmao!!!
Hate to say this, but Cassie may be approaching my list soon.
I don’t believe anybody as young and pretty as her would bone Diddy OR Ryan Les unless they were humping for tracks.
Christina Milian too. How can all your boyfriends of note also be coworkers? She did the movie with Nick Cannon, and got tracks produced by Cool (or Dre…whichever busted Rican she was slobbin) and Dream the No-Neck Wookie.
Nivea has to be a h* too. No way she’d take all this crap from Wayne unless she was fcuking for weave money.
@Me fail english?,
“Hate to say this, but Cassie may be approaching my list soon.”
She’s already on mine. So is Mya.
@Me fail english?, as much as i used to love Christina Milian…you’re right. she’s stays dealing with co-workers and people who can advance her career.
she’s like the 2005-2009 version of 1991-1996 tyra.
@Me fail english?,
“Dream the No-Neck Wookie.”
That description just made my whole afternoon happier! LOL!
@RedBeanzNRice w/Cornbread,
lol, I meant Ewok. I always get them mixed up.
@Me fail english?,
lmbaoffffffffffffff dayum gurl lolololol tha ninja prolly was one of those ewoks back in tha day lol
just grew up and got a haircut. lol. dam child actors.
@BLUNTBLAZER,
*DEAD*
@Me fail english?,
“lol, I meant Ewok. I always get them mixed up.”
Me too, cause I mean damn – ain’t they cousins or some sh*t?
They’re both furry with no necks. My dude corrects my sh*t on that too (sci-fi & comic book nerd, but I love him, lol) if I make no mistake he said Chewbaca (sp?) is a Wookie, and the Ewoks are the furry little cousins that appeared later in the movie series.
@RedBeanzNRice w/Cornbread,
Yup. I didn’t know they was cousins! Somebody’s Grandpap was on some intergalactic ho ish/
@Me fail english?,
“Somebody’s Grandpap was on some intergalactic ho ish/”
Yep, and hittin’ it OFTEN, cause I’m sayin’ there was like 3000 of them lil muhf*kkas runnin’ around, lol.
J Lo
Diddy
Paris Hilton
Lil Wayne
Lil Kim
Russell Simmons
Madonna
@Leila, I’ll also add one of my friend’s father-in-law. He’s in his upper 40s, very well-off, and has 10 kids by 3 women and has never been married. He’s still running around with different women in 3 different countries.
@Leila,
A man in his upper forties who is already a father-in-law? Boy, were my parents late bloomers or what?
@Leila,
Cosign on J lo…she bounces from man to man and broke up mark anthony’s marriage to his first wife–ho for sure, but that is to be expected as she is latina lol, i kid i kid (maybe not)
That father from Brothers 2 Brutha was a ho of epic proportions. ‘Cept he did it with an S-Curl…I guess I should give him props on that.
@Me fail english?,
HAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA. That ep with the two baby mamas confronting him was epic.
@Cheekie,
Yo that was the craziest ish ever!!
Her: I was in jail, covered in your blood.
Him: But you aint had to stab me like that…
Her: You kidnapped me my ni**a!
Him: Oh yeah…that is true.
Me Fail: WTF?!?!
@Me fail english?,
HAHAHAHA! Memories. Is that show even gonna return? lol
@Cheekie,
I dont think that album did well enough to warrant Season 2…although I thought the show was a hit! I guess they got a few more years of living 7 deep in a 3 bedroom.
@Me fail english?,
Aw. I loved that show, too! Remember they huge blown-up fight over a dance move? Something about how it looked “gay”. It went too far. lol
@Cheekie,
LOL! That guy did look suspect til I find out he got dumped by his BM for being on some ho ish. The best was the damn-near fistfight when they were playing Concentration or sum ish! How you gon’ fight on family fun night?!
where to start… Sani Abacha (died in flagrante with 4 h0s), idi amin, king mswati, Kenyatta, Zuma, Kibaki, “king” Gaddafi, king mswati, the Liberian minister – Bubbles something or the other, Mobutu kuku Ngbendu wa Za Banga “the c.0.ck who covers all hens”….. Jai h0s…
@Wanjiru,
“king mswati”
Heh, did you list him twice on purpose?
…and there was a ruler named “Bubbles”?
…and he got asz?
@Me fail english?,
Oh, my bad. He’s actually called Willie Knuckles (not Bubbles). Googling him is NSFW as Privacy/ HIPAA is not hot in Liberia.
@Wanjiru, Jai h0s…
*Dead*
@Wanjiru, ha ha ha, i love it!! read my comment above re: the african ones…
@Wanjiru,
Abacha was on that Dictatorship HoSh*t. Dude puled the women. Bet his pickup line was: *Naija accent* “Ehm escuse me, madame. You look sweet like ‘oney. I run Nigeria. Soooo… let us get jiggy wit it o!”
Ladies: “You dis man. You are funny o!” *drop trou*
@Thuggie Luvvie,
“I run Nigeria. Soooo… let us get jiggy wit it o!”
*croaked*
@Me fail english?,
lmao at you “motha-suckas” lol
and of course Brooke from Bold and beautiful for making her keety a family owned business.
@Wanjiru, ha ha ha ha ha, please stop!!!! so true, though! once went to visit one of my grannie/aunties, and found her watching ‘the bold’ – so i asked ‘oh, so what’s the latest on the show? and she replies (in sesotho, so you KNOW it’s extra vulgar!)
– oh, just more whoring around from brooke and company!
i was DEAD!!
LMFAO @ Helen of Troy! You cant forget she started a war so infamous that thousands of years later a line of condoms were named after it. That’s some powerful Ho Sh*t!
I’d also like to add Soon-Yi Previn, Woody Allen’s wife, to the list. A h* with a ring, hanging tough after twenty years, but still a h* nonetheless.
@Dom,
YES! THAT is some Historical HoSh*t. Her legacy will never die b/c the Power of her P-U-S-S… is now immortalized in birth control. THAT is some HoSh*t to aspire to. If you gon be a ho, be the BEST there ever was! Don’t be no lackdaisical half-*assed ho (no pun intended). Like the Army, be all you can be!
BTW, folks. Trojan is giving away FREE CONDOMS if you take a pledge to wrap it up every time. Get urs, so you can GET URS!
Giggity giggity
@Thuggie Luvvie,
“Giggity giggity”
Loveliness.
at the risk of getting ostracized by my southern african community…. a few years ago, someone threw a ‘pimps and hoe’s’ party, and one of the guests arrived as the king of swaziland, who has about 11 wives, and keeps stacking them up….
context: one of the traditional ways that nguni royals choose wives is at the reed dance ceremony – a gorgeous gathering of the nations young girls who dance in celebration of their beauty…. at this ceremony, the king’s allowed to choose a wife.
in the last 10 years or so, a guy with a cam corder’s been dispatched to record the beauties in attendance and the monarch apparently watches at his leisure, picks a girl, and has the retainers go and find her….
wonder where he’d fit in on this list….
Historical Hos:
1. Barbie – This stank ho dumped Ken and then went on to Blair like in 2 days. She didn’t even give a 2-week cooling period. And I think he is much younger than her (Like Skipper and nem young) so she’s a cougar ho. A cougar ho with 458 jobs. Even in the recession. Envious.
2. Cinderella – what kind of pathetic slore marries a man she just met yesterday only because her shoe fit? Desperate!
3. Johnny Appleseed – Don’t his name just reeks of ho-dom? Apple-SEED. I bet he planted that mess amongst every garden of yore. Nasty.
4. Mickey Mouse – If sluttiness were a dance, he’d be a hodown. This mofo plants his name and face on everything selling. And I bet he’s cheating on Minnie Mouse with Daisy Duck. Just wait…US Weekly will be on top of that ish. Whew.
5. The Kool-Aid Man – That devious smile he uses to seduce Black folks across the planet? And the way he says “Ohh Yeaaahhh” screams pedophile. Ugh.
@Cheekie,
BLAIR?? WHO THE EFF IS BLAIR??!!
@Me fail english?,
Ooops…in all my rage, I managed to misspell the poor man’s name. It’s Blake. My silly arse said Blair. Like Facts of Life lookin mess. Sowwy. Heh.
@Cheekie,
Haha! I still aint hearda Blake. I ride with Ken all day!
@Me fail english?,
He’s way new. Some new generation ish.
@Cheekie,
Mattel ain’t even give Barbie a Love Pocket & she somehow managed to be a ho. Being a ho against ALL odds. THAT is impressive.
@Thuggie Luvvie,
Madd impressive.
@Cheekie,
I am so hating you today! LOL Too funny… but yes ol’ Cindi Cin was pressed for a husband! LOL
@Ms. T,
I honestly think Cindy was just tryna get outta her wack home situation. Free slavery to yo stepmama and manlike stepsisters? I would’ve gotten out ASAPtually too! Bonus points to her for getting a prince, I says.
@Beez,
Yeah, you’re probably right. She probably left to get outta there and is currently giving the prince NONE. Semi-redacted.
@Beez,
See but I still think the Prince rode in like Captain Save a ho! But I may be wrong.
@Cheekie,
“1. Barbie -”
And she’s an EXTRA impressive ho, cause she’s not even anatomically correct! She’s on some polymer ho sh*t.
@Cheekie,
“2. Cinderella – what kind of pathetic slore marries a man she just met yesterday only because her shoe fit? Desperate!”
Who doesn’t want to trade up out of the ghetto of their life? And how her stepmom and stepsisters were, I bet she wanna whoop her dad’s arse for not seeing the signs.
Did anyone name off the ho every man wants to be….RON JEREMY?
Guy looks like the p*rno version of Mario, but got more skins than every 19th-century fur trapper combined! Even when his gut was the size of a frozen turkey.
Shouted out in records, mad appearances on TV and in regular movies, and could give a damn about getting in shape. He’s living the life.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
*snickering*
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
Ron Jeremy looks real dirty, like he smells like the inside of a fake leg. iCan’t.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
Yeah, that pronstache ho. He looks completely filthy with his perv eyes.
@Cheekie & Thuggie Luvvie,
Yeah, he probably drinks ripple for breakfast before engaging in bumfights with his junk, but he’s still America’s sweetheart.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
“…ripple for breakfast…”
Dang, he can’t even get no Cold Duck? I never understood the fixation with Ron, cause John Holmes was just as “big”, way more attractive, and in much better shape. Ron looks like a cross between a partially waxed grizzly bear and the pillsbury dough boy, but muhf*kkas stay jockin’ him.
I guess it depends on what ur definition of the word ‘ho-sh!t’ is.
For trifling homewrecking heffer I’d nominate Rocsi from 106 n Park, she hopped skipped n jumped on2 lisa raye’s mans princly penis with no fears of backhands and bitemarks.
For indiscriminate looseness for career purposes I’d choose any one working under diddy and chris stokes. Also shout outs 2 mya, milian, kim, and whoever gave up the cooch 4 a closeup.
For manwhore extrodinare other than da names previously listed I’d probably go for any gay rapper, who disgustingly double dip in the groupie population. As well as uncle luke, he never met a stripper he prolly didn’t tootsie roll himself.
Rocsi gets the ho tag simply on the strength of the supposed policy of only dating ball players. The mission one is on with that restriction in effect could ONLY be ho-ish.
And
@ Chris Stokes…I don’t follow industry gossip to know what female act he ever had involvement with…so I shudder at what logic points to.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
Yeah Chris Stokes is actually a pedophile. He been tearin asxes since you was doin the runnin man (c) TI
@Me fail english?,
Yeah, that’s a nasty sumbish. Ugh, he’s so foul.
@Cheekie,
And that ignant ahole from B2K (the brown-skinned un-Omarion one) tried to throw the big-lipped one under the bus after he made an accusation against Chris Stokes. Like “Oh you’s a homo if you was screwin Chris”
Dumbass! A boy that age can consent to buttchex with grown men. He was raped! (if it’s true)
@Me fail english?,
BS all them boy bands is suspect fuqum all except new eddition lol
@Me fail english?,
Yeah, that a-hole feeds off of little kids and manipulates them…zero respect for that triflin’ ho.
Some if the biggest ho’s in history
Kelly Bundy from Married with Children
My boy “D” from college
(When there are 6 girls in a class of 14 and you have banged 4 of the 6 you belong on this list. Especially when that is just a small fraction of your resume in college that year)
My ex’s sister
When you have banged 4 of my homeboys and 2 other dudes i’m cool with you belong on this list.
The Fonz on Happy Days
@Humble_One,
I forgot about Kelly Bundy. Damn. I loved me some Kelly Bundy back in the day.
Oh, don’t forget Ron Johnson from A Different World.
And, truthfully, Jerry Freaking Seinfeld on the show. He had a different chick EVERY episode. I don’t think we really notice that too much…
@Dante_Alexander,
I forgot about Ron Johnson. He did get it in. I wonder why they made the light-skinned playboy on the show be from Detroit. Between him Dean Big Brother Almighty from School Daze I think there was a conspiracy to stereotype Detroit men.
@Humble_One,
Because we wear Stink Pink Gators and are all Players in the minds of the unsuspecting populace.
Tell em next time they almost all correct, but don’t have the next stereotype look like he put half a football on his head and just razor shaved whatever hair came out the bottom no mo, tho, mmkay?
@Dante_Alexander,
Dude did have a fierce timmy going on didn’t he?
@Humble_One,
Jeebus Cripes, cuh!
You said “Timmy” and I tried to hold it in. Snot bubbles and scratched throats (like you get when you hold in a sneeze) ensued.
I ain’t hear that since I left home! GNR!
@Humble_One, i have a friend from college like your friend “D”.
this dude was a one man wrecking machine. we were the same major and took all of our classes together. there was never a class with a gang of chicks where he hadn’t hit off at least 2. i was amazed.
this fool came to a study session, where we started talking about banging spelman chicks, he calls one up, literally says “im trynna get up right now”
he put her on speaker phone:
“cool. i’ll be undressed when you get here.”
LOL. we died.
he left. hit. and came back to the study group.
he’s also my hero.
@Panama Jackson,
My boy “D” was unbelievable. From Michigan State to University of Detroit to University of Michigan he got down. With no effort at that. And they were all 7′s and up. It’s not like he chased after women. He made me realize how much of an averge mere mortal I am.
@Humble_One,
I know D.
In fact, I probably know YOU.
Detroit is the smallest Big City on Earth.
Especially with how many dudes are “bumping heads”… Pun intended, but in the least homo way allowed by law.
@Dante_Alexander,
My homie J-Cash did the tightest thang on one hot summer day in the 90′s he banged 8 diff chick the same day in the same bed with the same sheets and kept all they panties as proof. That record has never been broken as of yet.
@BLUNTBLAZER,
And none of the girls noticed his damp, crusty sheets? Further, I’m sure he didn’t make the bed over again, they were all down to screw in his dirty room? (unmade bed=dirty bedroom=disrespect IMHO)
FAIL! @ those ladies
OMG. I died like 15 times reading this post!
I don’t even have anything remotely articulate or snarky to say. Good one, Champ.
Ok, let me see…
Serena Williams…she’s been linked with some randoms, and her relationship w/ Common lasted about 2 seconds. I just feel like she gets around….
Notorious B.I.G.–yeah I said it…
Debbie–don’t really know anything about her, but it’s been said she “did” Dallas
@N.I.A. naturally….,
“Notorious B.I.G.–yeah I said it…”
Shoooot, say it again. This is trueness.
Eff yo couch circa 2001-2005. Ask about me …
@eff yo couch,
Way to keep it real…lol
Is your jersey in the rafters?
Off-topic but not really:
This Chi-town weather is a HO. It is PITCH BLACK in the Loop right now. Like it looks like nightlife right now. The Chicago Theatre has turned on its lights. Damn apocalypse.
@Cheekie,
I forgot that you’re in Chicago. Do you know I’m having a meetup at a lounge 2moro? You should come!!! Email me if you want details!
My IG will be LIVE & in full color. I may even demonstrate what it looks like to *wall slide*
@Thuggie Luvvie,
Oh right…you sure are! Aiight, I gotta see if I can come. I’ll email ya soon.
And I desperately wanna see a wall slide in live action.
Sharon Newman from the Young & the Restless. She pregnant and there are 3 possible fathers. One is her ex husband. the second guy is her newly ex-husband and the third guy is the brother to her newly ex-husband.
@eff yo couch,
lol@ this entry coming from a man.
@Me fail english?, I remember one of my cousins and one of the homies (who never met) used to follow One Life To Live. A lot of baseball players watch soaps too.
Hell, wrestling, comic books, and soaps basically follow the same blueprint.
@Me fail english?,
It’s called compromise. I get to watch sports and gets to watch BS reality TV and soaps.
@eff yo couch,
At my crib, it’s called . . . we own another TV. It’s okay if you like it we’re not here to judge. *giggles and judges*
I’m sure someone got to Jennifer Hopez….
On that Grammy dress alone (which even ya mama would get the business in by the way), it’s a worthy call. But my take is she’s America’s most famous carhopper.
Since she’s settled with Mark Anthony for so long since, we’ve come to plumb forget. But prior to that, she was rotating Lazy Susan-style. Ben AFLAC!, Puffy singing songs about her *ss, that dancer dude no one remembers, some other cat from the DMV not worth naming….
Only thing is when you’re in Hollywood, they don’t call it being a ho, they call it being “romantically linked to” someone. As if aromatherapy candles and rose petal milk baths are always involved. As opposed to pungent gin breath and little else at 2am.
This is how Timberlake got away without his reputation sullied.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
I waver on the J. Lo thing. On the one hand she had a lot of relationships, but they were just that…relationships. She got rings from 4 of those dudes. And most lasted at least a year.
And what dude from the DMV? I know you’re not talking about the waiter since he’s from Miami…
and that grammy dress was bad. Just wait til I get some Versace dough. I’ll be a ho too!
OK, maybe it wasn’t the DMV but when she went to pay her cable bill…
Damn, folks is battin’ cleanup extra hard today….
I’m callin’ it on how quickly she seemed to rebound every single time. And we probably wouldn’t give two turds but for 7:30 entertainment shows breaking it down like football plays.
This post reminds me of the Boondocks episode when everyone knew ol’ girl was a ho except for grandad! LOL “The fam not even getting cheddar biscuits but this random broad can get cheddar biscuits….. Don’t feed her the ched-dar biscuits!” LMAO!!!!
Yall might hate my list but who cares its friday
1) Octomom- anyone that has 14 kids in less than 4-5 years is a super duper ho
2) Kim Porter/Puffy- Puff is a super hoe he got hella kids and Porter is a dum hoe but she paid
3) Mos Def- I heard he had like 8+ kids or something
4)Shawn Kemp- he fuqed himself out of shape and the NBA
5)Bob Marley- Sorry rastafai Ja Kno. how many kids did dude have anyways?
6)Ray J- sorry dog yousa hoe if you banged Whitney not tha old skoo whit but the cracked out whit yousa hoe
@BLUNTBLAZER,
“1) Octomom- anyone that has 14 kids in less than 4-5 years is a super duper ho”
I’m surprised nobody named her before now! Yeah, she’s on some “havin’ babies for the welfare” ho sh*t for real. And have you listened to her talk? That broad is a sammich short of a picnic.
@BLUNTBLAZER,
“1) Octomom- anyone that has 14 kids in less than 4-5 years is a super duper ho”
Oh shoot. This gets top prize for “Why didn’t I think of that?”. Ol’ leech ho.
@BLUNTBLAZER,
I don’t understand how OctoMom is a h*e. All of those kids were through IVF.
@miss t-lee,
lol. I was gonna re-state the obvious, but I already did that once upthread.
Most of us agree there’s gotta be proof that you at least had to have sex with one other living being to be labeled a “ho”.
@Me fail english?,
So as long as we’re on the same page. LOL!!
@Me fail english?,
I dont agree if you take nigg’s seeds and knockin ya self up yousa hoe. If you force yaself to have 8 at one time then yousahoe pluss no babydaddy=yousahoe
@BLUNTBLAZER,
No.
@BLUNTBLAZER,
…if you eat hamburgers without ketchup yousahoe…lol
Ok, Agree to disagree
@BLUNTBLAZER,
“I dont agree if you take nigg’s seeds and knockin ya self up yousa hoe.”
Like Champale said, “while its extremely difficult to define what exactly constitutes a “ho”, like good point guards and bad weave, we can all confidently say that we know one when we see one. ”
And she is definitely on some ho sh*t. IVF or not.
@RedBeanzNRice w/Cornbread,
Meh, there’s still certain criteria that gotta be involved. Like the point guard actually has to play basketball and the weave can’t actually be your own bad hair.
@RedBeanzNRice w/Cornbread,
“Meh, there’s still certain criteria that gotta be involved.”
She’s on some “havin’ babies for the welfare” ho sh*t, so she fits the build – regardless of whether or not the punjab went in. You don’t have to be a “spread eagle” ho to be considered a ho. That’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it, lol.
@BLUNTBLAZER,
No… That makes you selfish! Now if you take dude seed unknowingly and try to make him take care of the babies that you have then that’s hoish!
@Me fail english?,
Ooops, wait, are we just talkin about sexxy time hos? Because if O-mom is a ho of anything, it’s fame and money. Otherwise then no, all her kids got the same baby daddy: Invitro, last name Fertilization.
@Cheekie,
Yeah, she’s most def an affection-turnt-attention whore. I can’t even say money, cuz if she woulda had 8 more separate births she’d still be living in her parent’s house making no bread
@BLUNTBLAZER,
Ray J leaks of nastiness to me. His rap sheet is just nasty:
* Lil Kim
* Crackhead Whitney
* Kim K.
* Telia Tequila
* Chick from 702
* Karrine aka superhead
* Danger (who smashed the homie)
* Cocktail
* Other random creatures
@V Renee,
Oh yeah, Ray J. That’s one pop-eyed ho.
@BLUNTBLAZER, Yes Bob Marley did his share of seed spreading….
Cartman’s mom off of Southpark
@eff yo couch,
LOL!! so true. did she ever find out who’s the father? She would be a good guest on Maury….
@N.I.A. naturally….,
lol. Didn’t it turn out she was the father?
@Me fail english?,
LOL!! I can’t remember. but I wouldn’t be surprised if SouthPark did something crazy like that…
@N.I.A. naturally….,
I think so! Lol@ the music they played everytime she hooked up a with a dude in the flashbacks
Theeeaah… you ahhhh…[something] on meee…
@Me fail english?,
Yep, she was the father. I saw this episode and cracked. From Wikipedia:
“The answer: Mrs. Cartman. The group is shocked upon hearing this. Mrs. Cartman is an intersex person/hermaphrodite, meaning she has both male and female genitals. She actually ended up getting another woman pregnant, who gave birth to Eric, which prompts the narrator’s final question: Who is Cartman’s mother? Cartman, however, exasperated by the events of this episode, refuses to pursue the issue further and moves on with his life.”
@Beez,
LMAO!!! how ridiculous is that! I love Southpark!!!
My 3 x’x great Uncle Rogelio (not his name, because I can not remember his name) is a ho of Majestic proportions…
according to family folklore he sired 65 children. The first was the result of my 4 x’s great grandmother obtaining a tutor (from the monestary) one, sister Maria Ignacia (not her real name, because I was never told her real name). According to the tale my dad tells Rogelio turned Sister Maria Ignacia out and fathered a child with this virgin nun while he was the ripe old age of 13.
He then continued to spread his seed accross southern Mexico. One of his many grand Children was a dude named Antonio who fathered Pepe Aguilar a famous Mexican singer (who looks like every man in my family sans sequined jacket https://sites.google.com/a/madisonmustangs.com/espanol-1/_/rsrc/1221010595989/Home/pepe%20aguilar%20043.JPG?height=277&width=369) (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pepe_Aguilar)
that is my ho story and Im sticking with it
@Intellectual Hedonist,
wow. i wonder at what age did he sire the baby of the bunch…
@Intellectual Hedonist,
I always like the name Rogelio, but you’ve ruined it for me now cause you can’t remember his real name, lol. Thanks IH!! But damn, 13? That’s madness!
@Intellectual Hedonist, man I didn’t know we could call out fam. My brother wanted to sue somebody because “hos in different area codes” was his five year mission….speaking of which….
Captain James T. Kirk. Star Ho
did anyone mention Shawn Kemp ( I see Bluntblazer did) or Smurfette? Oh and the Godfather Of Soul, James Brown? Get down!
@T. Troy Stewart,
LMAO! Smurfette was pure as the driven snow!
@Me fail english?,
“Smurfette was pure as the driven snow!”
Yeah, if the snow was driven with a snow plow through a mud gully.
@T. Troy Stewart,
HAHAHA! Smurfette. Then again, it makes me wince due to folks I know tarnishing Smurfs forever talm bout she was involved in a bang of gangs. (See, I can’t even put the actual word there…but ya’ll know what I mean….hopefully)
*shudder*
@Cheekie, yep, Smurffette and Jem, too. and I know they weren’t technically real, but them Holograms were the ones who started spreading viruses on the internet. True story.
@T. Troy Stewart,
If Jem was a ho, wut were the Misfits?!
@Me fail english?, the Misfits were haters
@T. Troy Stewart,
Maybe Pizazz and Roxy, but you mustn’t talk that way about Storm and Clash!!
smh@ my mama givin us Misfits for Christmas ‘stead of the Jem dolls we asked for. Apparently, rainbow colored hair makes you more ethnic and acceptable for black girls to play with. smh.
@Me fail english?
“smh@ my mama givin us Misfits for Christmas ’stead of the Jem dolls we asked for.”
Darn, your parents just march to the beat of their own drum, daddy getting mama a laundry basket, mama getting y’all what she want and not what y’all asked for! Man! LOL
yeah, Jenny was a garden tool….
Beowulf, Hamlet, and Macbeth. All ho-eths.
I’m sorta surprised nobody mentioned Ray Charles..12 chillen by 9 women? sounds a little h03-ish to me…. AND he was blind! lol
@Happy Meal
That’s because his senses were extra heightened so he knew good P**** when he smelled it.
LMAO
@V Renee,
LOL! The above is why I think him feelin’ on women’s wrists to tell if they’re f*ckable was that BS. He smelt it.
im gonna follow up on Luvvies greek theme.
Hermes. If your the gods messenger and can move that fast your prolly baggin em at light speed.
Apollo. Playing that harp and being able to cause the sun to set for chex at will would prolly get all the vajinapanties droppin. and making the sun rise when its time for her to get the Hades out? Priceless.
Possiden. If i can control all water and im god of the sea that means i can get it ready without you being in the mood or ready and turn any unheated pool into a hot tub at will.
all the greek gods were on some super powerful ho-ish.
LMAO @ all these comments!
I have nothing to add at this time except the following correction: Barbie’s new bf is BLAINE (only Spectacular looks/is more suspect than this doll).
Will return to contribute somehow.
@rainebeaux,
lol. Poor sexy Spec
But wuz good with them replacing Ken? Wut makes Blaine so hot? Does he have a penix?
@Me fail english?,
Maybe he wears skinny jeans and skittle colored outfits?
@rainebeaux,
OMG, thank you. There was something suspiciously off about my second correction. It didn’t sit right with me all day for some reason. Thanks so much! I am indebted…
That contribution was the best today.
Anyway, yeah, he’s of the younger bunch.
Not sure if this was already covered but I’m gonna throw Octomom out as “queen artificial insemination” h*!
Ebony was a h*e…and Lil Man was gon’ tell Dolla Bill!