Lists, Theory & Essay

The Trials and Tribulations of the Male Relationship Blogger

Man, I hope she doesn't read this.

The homey Max wrote a post last Thursday entitled, “The Trials and Tribulations of the Female Sex Blogger”. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. It was a splendiferous account of the travails of going all full monty for the masses on a daily basis. Kudos, Max. Kudos.

Similarly, we here of the schlong have similar trials and tribulations. While this here blog doesn’t focus on the ole yum yum, bouncy bounce but more of the relationshipinal relationship between the gods and earfs, we still manage to have our own sets of trials and tribulations. And trust me, they are a plenty.

Such as?

Such as…

1. We actually have relationships that we have to protect.

Quite a few male relationship bloggers are actually in relationships. What that means is that unless you managed to convince her that the blog is offlimits, wifeyboo is going to be all up in the posts, just like everybody else. What THAT means is that you’re personally accountable for anything that you say on the blog…at home. While I’m not in a relationship right now, I have been for the majority of the time VSB has been in existence. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve gotten into full blown arguments because of things I’ve written on this blog or had to explain myself further because of my particular word choices, etc. Shucks, if you all could be privy to some of the IM convos The Champ and I have had about who could and could not write about certain things because of our relationships…let’s just say, there are a lot more topics left on the table that neither one of us was ready to discuss at home. Blogs are great, but you always have to take care of home first. Trust me.

2. Men who are funny, witty, and can read = lofty expectations.

While generally this is a good problem to have, expectations that cannot ever be met are a pain in the derriere. Oochie coochie, la la la. While this has never happened to me (as far as I know), I’m fully aware of a few male blog cats who were placed on this curious pedestal online, but when coming into contact with actual people, their profiles fell faster than bikini tops at a BangBros pool party.

3. Possible to burn a lot of bridges.

This plays back into #1, but even as a single man, there lots of topics I’d love to touch on that I just won’t because I don’t want to put anybody out there like that. Even if nobody would ever know who I’m talking about, it just doesn’t seem right, because that one person would know. And really, I don’t know if they’re reading or not, but some things just ain’t right. Plus, I know my daddy so its better to err on the side of caution. It’s never nice to hurt people’s feelings. Unless of course you hurt EVERYBODY’s feelings at once, then its okay. Let’s just say, practicing restraint can be very difficult.

4. People assume that you know better than to make mistakes.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve made a mistake of some sort and I’ve been hit with, “you write about this stuff. Come on, dude. I KNOW you know better.” Truth is, everybody should know better about myriad things we all f*ck up on, but we don’t. I’m only human. I’m flesh and blood. A man. It’s assumed that we’d always know how to see situations upfront or figure out how to get out of any situation because we write about these things. It’s like Economics, we’re writing about it all ceteris peribus. Writing is objective, real life comes with all kinds of extra variables and emotions, etc. You’d be surprised at how often its presumed that despite all of our explanations of our mistakes, we’ll never make them again. It’s like good girl problems…when they do f*ck up, it looks that much worse.

5. Women have better memories than we do.

As a writer, you’re accountable for everything that you write. Understood. Thing is, men’s recall is generally much slower and much more recent in general than women’s. If you start dating a woman who reads your site, she will be more than happy to quote you contradicting some stance you took on voyeurism or politics. You’ll find yourself in an argument with a woman who will use a post you wrote against you and what can you say? You wrote it. And do you know where this shoots men in the arse? Platonic friends. Let’s just say, if you ever tell a woman that you have female friends, make sure that you DIDN’T write that you don’t believe in platonic friendships.

6. People really do think they know you.

This is an across the board “personal” blog problem but there are people out there who actually do not like me because of this blog. I find that almost comical. Mostly because I don’t give a sh*t, but generally because I get so far away from personal (down to the refusal to let anybody know my real name) on this here blog that its impossible to really know who I am from this blog. I’m a complicated man. Nobody understands me but my mother. Heck, at some of these happy hours, some folks have told me, to my face, that they don’t really f*ck me with like that and prefer Champ. Which is cool with me, but blow me. I didn’t ask for that unsolicited information. But oh well, I can take so let’s take shotshotshots, shotsshots, shotshotsshotsshosts.

Anyway, those are just some of the issues that come along with blogging, and being a male relationship blogger. I just felt like sharing. Does any of this make sense or am I just full of sh*t? Male bloggers, what else do you think? Heck, some of you commenters have had similar experiences…what are your trials and tribulations?

Do tell.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka 21 KOOKAROO GANGSTA aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

Panama Jackson

Panama Jackson is pretty fly for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future.

More Like This