Dating, Relationships, & Sex, Lists, Pop Culture, Theory & Essay

just don’t do it (three of the most common relationship mistakes women make)

tip-tiny-sent1

as t.i. and tiny continue to prove, romantic relationships aren’t a continual loop of milkshakes, bliss, burps, and glee. sometimes you’re gonna hafta hide your mans gats in your purse, and sometimes you’re gonna need to remind your girl that its probably not the best idea to tell her stylist, “you know what? i’m going to court today, and i wanna look a damn fool. can you make me look like a damn fool”

with this in mind, arguments will occasionally occur. armed with the knowledge that “he aint gonna hit me“, though, some women occasionally break the implied geneva relationship disagreement concordance, boldly crossing the line and committing war crimes by conveniently forgetting about the “untouchables”.

the 4 f’s of fair relationship fighting, each of these subjects have the power to irrevocably damage an otherwise happy coupling, and each need to be avoided at all costs, like e coli…

unique

…and women who remind you of her.

a) fists (since we’re not allowed to hit, any negative discourse about our fighting prowess should be off the table¹.)

b) family (we already know that one of our aunts looks like rick ross. no need for you to bring it up)

c) f*cking (nnte²)

d) funds (trust me.)

in keeping with vsb’s commitment to combat crime, i’ve decided to name two more damaging relationship mistakes women occasionally make.

being bob costas.

arguably the best play-by-play man in television history, costas combines a panoramic knowledge of sports with a keen eye for detail and extensive vocabulary, qualities ensuring that the viewers know exactly whats going on at all times. he misses nothing. no detail or occurrence is too minute or insignificant to share…a fact also making him the patron saint of annoying girlfriends.

while we understand that women generally need avenues to verbally emote, there’s a fine line between “fishing for innocent feedback” and “scooping the salon with every salacious relationship specific like sandra rose.

your moms doesn’t need to know about his strange weekend “dusk slobbers” and every minute disagreement you’ve ever had, and, if you actually want to keep your man from eventually f*cking one of your friends, your lonely ass girls don’t need to be briefed with every bottom-line banality of your bi-weekly bedroom back-breakings

you’re in a relationship with one person…not one-third of your blackberry’s address book, and every bit of publicly shared “tmi” slowly tears away from your foundation like club mist and cvs eyeliner

disturbing the peace

we lie.

daily.

hourly even. i will not deny this. sh*t, i’m texting a pseudo-lie to three separate people while i’m writing this sentence³.

despite these admittedly troubling facts, our white lies are our most chivalrous act, our way of protecting you all from windmills, waterfalls, white women, and our burgeoning p*rn addictions, and its a relationship death knell to worry yourself over every minor inconsistency. i mean, think about it: do you really want us to tell you the truth about everything?

everything?

do you really need to know that last weekend’s slightly sprained ankle came from stupidly walking into an in ground waterfall when double taking too long at a zoe saldana doppleganger downtown…and not from winning an impromptu dunk contest on a 8 foot rim at the park? is it really paramount for you to know that the missed call you “accidentally” noticed on his iphone last month is from his crazy-ass ex randomly drunk dialing him at 5pm…not his nephew?

nah. i didnt think so.

i could name a few dozen more, but i’m not contractually obligated to reveal anymore until the geneva relationship disagreement concordance is amended.

until then, any additions?

¹unless your name is “shad moss”
²”no need to expound”
³i’m lying

—the champ


Filed Under: , , ,
Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a contributing editor for EBONY.com. He resides in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes.

  • RedBeanzNRice

    But what? Is this post complete, Champers? I’m feeling like I’m dangling over here.

    And YES we want the truth, but you can’t handle the truth.

    • http://mimi-theresno1likeme.blogspot.com/ Mimi

      @RedBeanzNRice,

      I thought I was the only one. I feel like the post isn’t complete! LOL

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @Mimi,

        still?

  • iloVEGrits

    Maybe I’m too early cuz this doesn’t seem finished yet.

    • Gem-nasty

      LMAO i’m thinkin the same thing girlfriend

    • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

      @iloVEGrits,

      Womp. Leave it to the Vampire crew to call Champ out on his unhemmed post.

      But Champie, you do know we are your focus group. We get the UnCut version (No Tip Drill)

      • overit

        @Luvvie, yes. a focus group representing the diverse cross sections of IG.

        • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

          @overit,

          We got VEG – Southern Belle IG. She be ackin like she got sense but we all know the REAL TROOF. The chile is FOOLISH!

          Overit – East African IG. Your IGnificence aint even disguised. It’s all up through ur hijab & Dereon duffle

          Luvvie – Naija IG. The most SENSIBLE of the IGs. She is oftentimes the voice of reason. *curtsies*

          • iloVEGrits

            @Luvvie,

            Luvvie also is delusion and lies. Proof:

            “Luvvie – Naija IG. The most SENSIBLE of the IGs. She is oftentimes the voice of reason.”

          • overit

            @Luvvie, Luvvie – Naija IG. The most SENSIBLE of the IGs. She is oftentimes the voice of reason. *curtsies*

            whew, good thing morris chestnut was here, if he wasn’t, ida choked on my water at that.

            sensible? really? *dream sequence of all of luvvie’s IGNORANT WAYS i am too tired to document, ya’ll have long term memorys”*

            i do rep the east siiiiiiiide though. holla! i got some anjera for ya’ll, veg brought some jambalaya, luvvie got some rice lmao.

            and for the record, my dereon duffle’s zipper broke the day my pleather dereon pants did. da*ntheywrong!

            • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

              @overit,

              I’m REALLY mad at u for mentioning pleather Dereon pants. You know there’s prolly a Dereon Spy amongst us. This is gon be on their Fall 2009 collection. And I will blame you wholeheartedly.

          • shay_d_lady

            @Luvvie, aww so you just gone leave me and Shatani by the wayside huh? what about me, Harpo? what about me…….

            • overit

              @shay_d_lady, LMAO! ya’ll know the vs-perience would not be complete without your wild stories and shatani’s hilarious commentary.

            • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

              @shay_d_lady,

              Aw naw!!! Yall kno I’s senile! I only listed the folks that were here. Hell, I almost forgot myself. Thats why I was last. lol

  • RedBeanzNRice

    I gotta say – one relationship no-no is snooping. Yours truly has played Super-Sleuth Sherlock on quite a few occasions, but to be fair, had he TOLD THE TRUTH in the first place, there would be no need for the snooping.

    Still, all in all, snooping is a BIG relationship mistake.

    • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

      @RedBeanzNRice,

      Yup! When you go looking, you WILL find something. Forget you know his passwords. Just let things BE!

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @Luvvie,

        Forget you know his passwords.

        lol…i dont think this is possible. i think you’d literally hafta give a woman one of those men in black flash things in order to mentally erase an account password

        • http://freetherapyorelse.blogspot.com Sula

          @The Champ,

          Or just nicely ask him to change them.

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            @Sula,

            Or just nicely ask him to change them.

            so basically say

            “hey honeybun, can you do me a favor? since you lended me your gmail account password a couple months ago, i havent been able to resist the urge to ravage through your inbox like the zombies in 28 days later. i know this is a latent sign of distrust, but…i dont know, i love you so much. would you mind changing it for me, pretty please?”

            • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

              @The Champ,

              Pretty much. You could add “with a cherry on top” for extra effect

            • http://freetherapyorelse.blogspot.com Sula

              @The Champ,

              Yup. Luvvie, got it right. The cherry on top will be a very nice addition. :)

        • Me fail english?

          @The Champ,

          It’s possible. You just need a whooooole lotta self-control…which most people don’t have…nevermind

    • Gem-nasty

      LOL i’ve done this too. but deep down i didn’t need to see the proof, my 3rd eye and 6th sense already told me trouble was brewing. but nooooo i just had to go and look. but even after i printed the emails that negro still tried to LIE!!!!!!

      men. *smh*

      • Me fail english?

        @Gem-nasty,

        lol. That’s what really grinds my gears. not the fact that you’re lying. But the fact that you’re telling a stupid lie that insults BOTH of our intelligence…and I have the receipts right here, Whit!

        • Gem-nasty

          LMAO @ the receipts.

          “show me the receipts!!” if i ever saw a receipt for a crack transaction i’d DIE.

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            @Gem-nasty,

            i bet shamrock made receipts

    • Reci

      @RedBeanzNRice,
      I’ve suffered from this also in the past.. It’s not my fault that he made his passwords so freakin’ easy to guess. Or that one time he gave me his MySpace password because he didn’t know how to change his profile song, I just happened to remember it. I’ve had access to phone records, e-mails, Facebook messages, etc.

      Yes, I’m Reci, and I was once a crazy psycho as.s girlfriend in my past life.

      • IDaHoe

        @Reci,
        Simply breathtaking…..

        Question (1) What would warrant this type of behavior?

        Also provide a response to this analogy. I lock ALL of my passwords into my computer. [While pursuing this analogy, assume that I had done NOTHING to make you suspect that there was any foul play]. If you had to use my computer and I was in the next room or had stepped out of the crib for a minute, would you read my emails?

        Also would you do this to someone that you are merely dating or would reserve this behavior for only the more serious relationships? I guess what I am asking is if there is some type of sliding scale that you use to determine “who” you will spy on or do you do it indiscriminately?

        Thats why i like gmail… b/c it tells you when these type of shenanigans have been perpetrated against you.

        • tbird

          @IDaHoe,
          Thats why i like gmail… b/c it tells you when these type of shenanigans have been perpetrated against you.

          how do you turn this on?

          • IDaHoe

            @tbird,

            As soon as you log on the following appears at the bottom of the page:

            You are currently using 0 MB (0%) of your 7318 MB.

            Last account activity: 1 day ago on this computer. Details

        • Reci

          @IDaHoe,

          To answer all of your questions…

          Question (1) What would warrant this type of behavior?

          Insecurities, trust issues that I had in the relationship, not trusting my own intuition and needing concrete evidence to support what I’m feeling.

          (2) so provide a response to this analogy. I lock ALL of my passwords into my computer. [While pursuing this analogy, assume that I had done NOTHING to make you suspect that there was any foul play]. If you had to use my computer and I was in the next room or had stepped out of the crib for a minute, would you read my emails?

          If you have never given me any reason to believe there was anything foul going on. Well, no, I would not impose on your privacy if I used your computer.

          (3) Also would you do this to someone that you are merely dating or would reserve this behavior for only the more serious relationships? I guess what I am asking is if there is some type of sliding scale that you use to determine “who” you will spy on or do you do it indiscriminately?

          It would definitely have to be a serious relationship in which there was a breach of trust in the first place.

          I no longer do this. Everything I have ever discovered was things I already knew intuitively. However, I have had girlfriends where breaking their boyfriend/husband’s privacy for no reason at all has unveiled all types of things they would have never known or wanted to know.

          (3)Also would you do this to someone that you are merely dating or would reserve this behavior for only the more serious relationships? I guess what I am asking is if there is some type of sliding scale that you use to determine “who” you will spy on or do you do it indiscriminately?

          • IDaHoe

            @Reci,

            Thanks for addressing my inquiries in such a methodical fashion.

            I’m not real big on titles, but when I have been in relationships, I NEVER did anything like that. I know guys whose insecurities (in themselves as well as the females they are dating) drive them crazy. In the words of the late, great Gerald Levert, “I Aint no Casanova.” However, I have too much pride to allow myself to perform covert operations and such.

            I respect you for acknowledging your own insecurities and I am glad that you have overcome them.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @Reci,

        Yes, I’m Reci, and I was once a crazy psycho as.s girlfriend in my past life

        past life?

        • Reci

          @The Champ,

          Yes, I have certainly calmed down from my old self.

      • miss t-lee

        @Reci,
        “Or that one time he gave me his MySpace password because he didn’t know how to change his profile song, I just happened to remember it.”

        Suuuuure….lol
        We’re all family here, you ain’t gots to lie chick…
        *giggling*

  • Gem-nasty

    were you going to put up footnotes for your subscripts?? or is your 3-person-text-lie taking up too much of your time to be bothered with details involving VSB??

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @Gem-nasty,

      footnote deez

  • iloVEGrits

    First, love the being Bob Costas one. I tell the women folk all the time no man wants to hear all about your day. They don’t want the play by play. lol. Just give ‘em the highlights.

    I’d add:

    1. Expecting your man to fulfill all of your needs all the time to the list. Both women and men do this, actually. No one is perfect on any given day…if there isn’t a consistent pattern of neglect on your partner’s part, some of the things they overlook should be given a pass.

    1a. Expecting someone to carry your cross for you. You lost a job, your mom is sick…yes your partner is supposed to be there for you BUT everyone has their own burdens and breaking points. You have to be realistic about what you expect from someone during your difficult times.

    1b. Expecting your man to respond/act in the way your girlfriend would. First of all, he’s your man…not your girlfriend. If you wanted him to react the way she would, you should have told her first. You have to let people be who they are in the moment. Over time, they will get to know what you need better and attempt to temper their responses/reactions to your needs. But blowing up at him cuz he didn’t respond how Susie did? Not a good look.

    2. Being delusional about what you bring to the relationship, i.e. the ‘alpha female’ complex. It is these attitudes, delusional ones, that I think have a lot of chicks wondering why their stables are empty. Nothing about anyone is 100 percent great. We are all hopelessly flawed and we need to own up to those.

    3. Trying to be what you are not. If you are a mush bucket, do not try to be a hard ass. If you are conservative, do not try to act like a freak. If you want a relationship, do not try to “kick it”. Doing what you think the man wants most often results in you sitting with a cracked face, alone.

    • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

      @iloVEGrits,

      **Jesus is Christ the King and will Wrap me in His Arms Always Faith Tabernacle Church of God Pentecostal Baptist**

      *scoots in the aisles until Ushers tell me to go Sat Down*

      • shay_d_lady

        oh my, she said that!…

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @iloVEGrits,

      1a. Expecting someone to carry your cross for you. You lost a job, your mom is sick…yes your partner is supposed to be there for you BUT everyone has their own burdens and breaking points. You have to be realistic about what you expect from someone during your difficult times.

      good point and sh*t

    • A Plus

      @iloVEGrits, Doing what you think the man wants most often results in you sitting with a cracked face, alone.

      this.is.the.TROOF!!!

    • SouthernGirl

      @iloVEGrits,

      *shooting gold stars* all up and through this….

  • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

    Another relationship mistake: Using Sex & the City or any other romantic comedy as your Bible. You will end up with 15 cats wondering why you didnt get your Mr. Big.

    P.S. Carrie used to walk down the streets of Manhattan in 4 inch Manolos. Jeebs be some knee reconstruction surgery for her by the time she 50. That just aint healthy

    • iloVEGrits

      @Luvvie,

      “Using Sex & the City or any other romantic comedy as your Bible. ”

      BUT most women think/dream in these unrealistic relationship terms. I think pop culture caters to the delusion not creates it.

      • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

        @iloVEGrits,

        Gurl hell yeah. It woulda been ONE had I been embarASSED like that. And if I DID end up marrying you, betta believe you gon spend a long minute being reminded of it.

        Me: “You’ont wana go visit my family? Well, guess I shouldnt expect much from the man that left me to stand before God BY MYSELF.” lol

        • iloVEGrits

          @Luvvie,

          LMAO. For everyone else: I edited my comment but I had written: I don’t know one chica who would marry a dude who left her standing at the altar (for the mens: referring to SATC, the movie).

          lmao Luvs.

          • Me fail english?

            @iloVEGrits,

            Yes. This is where the movie lost me. It went from being light-hearted, funny and semi-sad to a total “RuuurF?” Scooby Doo-face.

            They might as well have had Carrie sprout wings and fly to the moon after that dumb ish.

            • iloV.E.G.rits

              @Me fail english?,

              I would have kicked him in the nads when he got down on his knee to propose again.

              It would be one thing if he backed out and there wasn’t the history of her being strung along.

              After all those years of drama I do not know one woman who say ‘ok. I trust you THIS time.’

              I wonder if he cheats on her in the sequel. lol.

            • Me fail english?

              @iloV.E.G.rits,

              You know he’ll cheat in the sequel!

              Now that Charlotte and Miranda are all boring and coupled up with predictable men and Samantha hit 50, what else can happen?

              What were the writers thinking? Big slept with the first wife’s best friend, cheated on the second wife with Carrie and now the audience is supposed to jump for joy that he finally gave in to marrying Carrie? I can’t think of a less romantic ending.

            • V Renee

              @Me fail english?

              I was so rooting for Aidan. Now he’s wifed up with his Tater and I can’t see Carrie playing step-mommy if Aidan had suprisingly become un-married.

              Damn Gina!

            • Me fail english?

              I was also rooting for Aidan. I mean, no matter how nice a guy is, if you aint feelin him you gotta move on. But I got the feeling Carrie was really into him but just stuck on the foolishness with Big’s ol’ geriatric ass.

              Don’t the SATC writers know how that movie ends? Candace Bushnell did NOT get to keep her Big.

          • 8th Wonder

            @iloVEGrits,

            You have a point, but I dunno, if Carrie hadn’t been so focused on what SHE wanted and totally ignored Big’s wants, her ass woulda been married the first go-round. So I think she was able to acknowledge that, and that’s why she was able to say yes when he asked her to marry him again.

            Yeah, I just commented on these folks like they’re real. I LOVE Sex and the City, lmao!

            • http://freetherapyorelse.blogspot.com Sula

              @8th Wonder,

              Thank you, Wonderful Wonder. :)

          • Peyso

            @iloVEGrits, Pause my whole comment. But I saw SATC w/o my gf (It’s been on HBO) and I think he deserved to marry the jawn. She was playing him by worrying about the wedding more than she worried about him and you can see that he knew he made a mistake and was turning around to come and see her. Yea she was embarrassed but I mean everyone was still in the church, they coulda had a 5 min convo and then went and got married. Its her and the pregnant jawns fault she aint get married

            • Me fail english?

              @Peyso,

              Really? So if you and your boys were waiting in the church for your bride to come in and she hit you on the celly like “Nah I aint comin thru. Tell everybody it’s off”. You’d just be cool with her coming thru 15 mins later like “ok, I change my mind”? You wouldn’t be humiliated, hurt, pissed or anything? I call B.S.

              And if “you’re into the wedding too much” is a reason to not marry you, trust me, she really just didn’t wanna marry yo ass. Marriage is hard enough when both people wanna be married. Why settle for someone who’s willing to drop ur ass as soon as you take too much interest in flowers or some ish?

              I never understood how people could be okay settling down with someone long-term who’s not sure they even want you.

            • Peyso

              @Peyso, I would be hurt. But not so hurt that I aint gonna talk to the jawn to find out why she aint show up. Not hurt enough to run away. Being embarrassed aint the end of the world. It happens get over it.

              But also, she aint never considered what he wanted in the wedding. I understand that its a women’s day and what not but its his wedding too. I think the fact that she was so into the wedding should shed insight into how she is going to act during the marriage. Her way or the highway. The man got nervous and tried to came back. Realized that he made a mistake and tried to come back, I think thats a honorable thing. Of course its his fault, she did nothing wrong I guess.

            • miss t-lee

              @Peyso,
              If you watched the series you would know that BIG was always stringing Carrie along on some BS, so for him to back out of the wedding was predictable.
              In the series, he kept acting like he didn’t wanna get married at all, since his first marriage failed. So Carrie was cool with that, then he turned around and married Natasha all willy nilly.
              I remember watching the movie, like dayum Carrie, you let him screw you again. LOL

            • Me fail english?

              @Peyso,

              I think you’re being facetious but I really don’t think she did anything wrong. You can’t complain about a woman commandeering your wedding when you weren’t giving her any input. If I remember the movie right, he was doing much communicating with Carrie at all.

              Also, there are a million valid reasons for backing out of an engagement, but leaving someone at the altar is straight disrespectful. Esp. if the extent of the talking to her you did was “Is it really gonna be us?” Huh? lol.

              Maybe Miss T-Lee is right and you had to see the series to get the significance of this. But Big stayed embarassing this girl, dropping her ass, etc. and comin up with little wack excuses a la “you read too many wedding books. I no longer want to spend the rest of my life with you.” A ten year rel’ship and you use the few months leading up to the wedding to judge what she’s gonna be like? I still don’t believe he was feeling her that much. Which is why I, like many women, nearly lost our lunches when they got married at the end. It made Carrie seem all sad and desperate :(

            • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

              @Peyso,

              But I saw SATC w/o my gf (It’s been on HBO)

              lol, way to justify it

            • V Renee

              @Peyso,

              I was so torn on Big and Carrie. I like fairy tale wrapped in a bow endings, but at the same time he played her WAY too many times over the past decade. It was almost like he finally was like awwww phuck it, we aint getting no younger and she been my bottom biatch, I guess I should go ahead and wife her. I’m done playing, biatch me at the altar. Wait a minute on second thought, maybe I aint ready.

              Sidenote: When Smith and Samantha bought in the New Year with matching blinged out robes, I thought that was soooooo secksy. That’s on my bucket list of things to do.

              (I love SATC talk!!!!)

            • http://freetherapyorelse.blogspot.com Sula

              @Peyso,

              I agree with you Peyso. Carrie went over her head forgetting who she was freaking getting married to. You know your dude, so you best act accordingly…

              How you going to have a grand New York wedding, when your dude is getting married for the friggin’ 3rd time. Ole inconsiderate lookin’ girl!

        • iloVEGrits

          @Luvvie,

          “betta believe you gon spend a long minute being reminded of it.”

          another relationship mistake men and women make.

          It is one of my biggest, biggest pet peeves to hear about some ish that happened weeks ago. I realize folks need time to process but if you are reminding me about something a month down the line…we got problems.

          • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

            @iloVEGrits,

            LOL yea yeah yeah. But being left at the altar breaks that rule. DAMnat. i’mo remind you of it at random times too. We be driving down the street talm bout cartoon and I’d be like “HAhaha! *serious face* Remember when you left me at the altar? That was jacked!”

            LMAO Then he gon shake his head and be like “Why did I get married?” and we’d go home and watch the Tyler Perry movie.

            • overit

              @Luvvie, right after making reservations for a couples only retreat in the woods.

            • iloVEGrits

              @Luvvie,

              LMAO. I can see you doing this.

              Yes…your are right. Getting stood up at the altar nullifies the ‘don’t be the dead horse’ rule.

            • iloVEGrits

              @Luvvie,

              that should read “don’t beat the dead horse”

              “don’t be a dead horse” is the bedroom rule.

            • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

              @iloVEGrits

              “don’t be a dead horse” is the bedroom rule.,

              LMAO! Sooo right.

            • V Renee

              @IloVEGrits

              ““don’t be a dead horse” is the bedroom rule., ”

              HILARIOUS

          • http://freetherapyorelse.blogspot.com Sula

            @iloVEGrits,
            It is one of my biggest, biggest pet peeves to hear about some ish that happened weeks ago

            Word.Life.

            If it happened, let’s talk it out and MOVE the hell on… Can’t be harping on the same stuff over and over, it gets ridiculous.

      • A Plus

        @iloVEGrits, one of my dear friends thought that she was carrie bradshaw and every encounter she had with a member of the opposite sex read like a sex and the city episode. it was sad.

        • AkShone

          …d@mn, I think I might have dated her…and it was sad.

        • V Renee

          @A Plus,

          Example????

    • iloVEGrits

      @Luvvie,

      Also: I see nothing wrong with this: “Carrie used to walk down the streets of Manhattan in 4 inch Manolos”

      A girl who’s always in heels is a popular girl. :) Plus your walk is automatically sexier and your booty toots out. Both good things.

      I kid…but only slightly so.

      • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

        @iloVEGrits,

        True but 4 inch STILETTOS 24/7? Psht. You know I STAN for shoes of the FIERCE variety. But how you gon booty toot when you 50 and your knees all wonky? Oh I SAW the Maury show w/ folks who were 45 using canes. mmhmm.

        • overit

          @Luvvie, i love me some fierce shoes but more often than not, i’m not in no stilettos lol.

          that still don’t stop my party, hayyyy! always the baaangles, dahling.

        • iloVEGrits

          @Luvvie,

          Well, that was fantasy. The real woman should stick to 2″ and 3″ and switch up the shoes often. Regular foot massages and pedicures, combined with yoga and weight lifting (quadricep exercises) will strengthen the muscles around the knee, making them less susceptible to injury.

          As you can see, I am an advocate for wearing heels daily. I’d wear a flip flop now and then but I’d die before I am caught outside the gym or track in sneakers. And definitely not a ballet slipper (which is bad for the arches).

          • overit

            @iloVEGrits, lmao! we are so on opposite sides of the track, meet me 1/2 way…well i’ll come more than 1/2, i got my dunks on lol.

          • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

            @iloVEGrits,

            I agree. 2-3 inches regularly ain’t bad. And mix them up. One day, rock a wedge so you’re not walking on a pencil. The next, rock a boot with a slightly chunky heel. Carrie had ONE type of shoe. Stiletto. *shakes head*

            • iloVEGrits

              @Luvvie

              Not regularly. Daily. Daily. Daily.

        • shay_d_lady

          @Luvvie, I rocks the 4 inch on a regular to work.. but then I am 5’2 or 3 depending on who you ask….I try to mix it up with a wedge, or aplatform but I dont do a midlevel heel….

          • iloVEGrits

            @shay_d_lady,

            This is why I like you. :)

          • SouthernGirl

            @shay_d_lady,

            i too am of the short variety. i tend to mix it up with all kinds of shoes (heels, cute sneakers, etc) but my heels be hiiiiiiiiigh. 2-3 is like a flip flop to me.

          • http://freetherapyorelse.blogspot.com Sula

            @shay_d_lady,

            Midlevel heels are the worst… Although they do work for slingbacks. :)

            • http://headedintherightdirection.blogspot.com Liryc

              @SoutherGirl

              I love love love the height gained by heels… the higher the better, (though Carrie was model road kill when she fell off hers) Cute 4 1/2 inch heels.. gives the gams an extra length to them.. though daily I’m in flats! I gotta run around a lot! got to be able to move quick!

        • Resident GRitS

          @Luvvie,

          LOL @ “knees all wonky”…I really had an outburst.

    • http://ranting-auntie.blogspot.com/ Bajan Girl

      @Luvvie,

      TV should never be your guide… NEVER…
      Just because it worked for so and so on (insert relevant television show here) doesn’t mean it will happen that way in REAL life and that you should go and try it on your SO. doing that is often followed in the re-telling by “and then the fight started”…

    • http://headedintherightdirection.blogspot.com Liryc

      @Luvvie, damn I’m mad that I’m just reading this hole satc convo.. UGH, darn work

      But I think @ the end **here comes the eye rolls from some off yall** love conquers all.. I know some of you would say that they didn’t get married for love but for convenience but I think that isn’t the truth. Because despite it all Big loved Carrie and Carrie loved Big, which is why she got pissed @ Miranda when she found out that Miranda had spoken to big PRIOR to the wedding cause Miranda is a two bit OH cuz her hubby cheated cuz she wasn’t givin him none!

      Big put Carrie through a lot during the series, from whats her face (his second wife) to her cheating on Aiden with him (then wanting to be friends) I think he knew she was the one but like a lot of men who refuse to admit the obvious didn’t want to say that she was cause he was scared.

      Tell me some of you weren’t happy that she left the russian? I know I was, though I kinda like Petrovsky.. as for Aiden, tall drink of water he was, but to me he was a flake, kinda corny.. Big was the Milk in her cereal… remember when she needed a loan, who did she go to?? BIG!!

      Tell you.. LOVE CONQUERS ALL (well sometimes)

      **I rest my case your honor**

      • http://freetherapyorelse.blogspot.com Sula

        @Liryc,

        *case well made, counselor*

  • iloVEGrits

    4. Assuming/making up all these feelings your man is having.

    Women love, love to sit around and discuss what they think a man is feeling. I have these convos with my friends a lot. I NEVER listen to their advice. lol.

    Stuff like: “Girl, he likes you. He’s just scared. You should talk to him” or “He’s been hurt in the past and is afraid of commitment that’s why he can’t settle down yet”.

    90% of the time y’all is wrong. Word.

    • overit

      @iloVEGrits, that’s basically the main point of that movie “He’s Just Not That Into You”. Girlfriends go to any length to make you feel better..by setting you up lol.

      “Honey, he ran the other way because he was overwhelmed by your hotness, hello! have you seen yourself?”

      you know what though, guys do the same thing. i’ve had plenty of guys think i like them cause i was my effervescent self. being thoughtful seems to be something reserved for people you have feelings for, who knew?

      • iloVEGrits

        @overit,

        “i’ve had plenty of guys think i like them cause i was my effervescent self. ”

        Yeah. I was raised to be polite and I can be charming to most people for 15 minutes. lol. How some men take that to mean I want to jump their bones, I am not sure.

        Years ago, I was talking to a guy who was standing next to me at a bar. The guy told a joke, I laughed and gave him my comeback. My then-boyfriend thought I was flirting. Nooo. Making conversation.

        • V Renee

          @iloVEGrits,

          Perhaps the guy was flirting with you……. :)

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @overit,

        “Honey, he ran the other way because he was overwhelmed by your hotness, hello! have you seen yourself?”

        LOL

      • SouthernGirl

        @overit,

        *snicker* @ “Honey, he ran the other way because he was overwhelmed by your hotness, hello! have you seen yourself?”

        I am sooooo not that friend. lol.

        • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com/ blackberry molasses

          @SouthernGirl,

          because that’s not a friend. that’s a dirty, rotten scoundrel h*ll bent on your self destruction. they should be pelted with old fruit and shoelaces

    • shay_d_lady

      @iloVEGrits, girl aint it.. stop guessing and just ask.. they men not deaf/mutes……

    • Gem-nasty

      LOL this hasn’t happened to me since high school. my friends who i do talk to about my guy issues typically give sound advice and encourage me not to act like a “chick”.

    • RedBeanzNRice

      @iloVEGrits,

      “4. Assuming/making up all these feelings your man is having…90% of the time y’all is wrong. Word.”

      Exactly! Everyone knows men don’t have feelings – DUH. The only feelings they have are because of “nerve endings”, and it’s not hard to guess exactly which ones I’m talking about. Can I get a witness?

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @RedBeanzNRice,

        Can I get a witness?

        no

    • http://freetherapyorelse.blogspot.com Sula

      @iloVEGrits,

      Agreed.

  • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

    For my unrelated post of the day, I got F My Life streaming through my Google Reader and lawd, that thing is ridiculous. I got 55 F MY Life entries to read. But I shall share one bout ‘relationships.

    “Today, I asked my boyfriend what he thinks about long term relationships. He said, “Our relationship is kinda like having a dog. Chances are, your dog is going to die pretty quickly, before you do. Dogs and humans just aren’t meant to be together forever.” He compared me to a dying dog. FML”

    D*mn, just… d*mn

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @Luvvie,

      lol, i think these are a bit worse:

      Today, I found out that the girl I’ve been in love with for a long while got back together with her ex boyfriend because he had confessed his true feelings to her through a note in her locker. It was my note. FML

      Today, I found out that I’m pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

    • RedBeanzNRice

      @Luvvie,

      But on the bright side, he won’t have to spend the rest of his life buying kibble. : )

  • overit

    luvvie, you need help! lmao, i’m so surprised u aint grab my mac and type in FML’s url when i was indoctrinating…i mean showing u bscott videos in chi.

  • shay_d_lady

    I dont really have anything to add since veg stole them all…but I really wanna stress everybody has a limit and a breaking point dont push those boundaries unless you really ready to deal with the consequences………..

    • overit

      @shay_d_lady, that’s basically it, shay. it all comes down to respecting the other.

    • iloVEGrits

      @shay_d_lady,

      “dont push those boundaries’

      So many women are the queens of pushing boundaries, even when they think they don’t, they do.

      • http://verysmartbrothas simplyunique

        @iloVEGrits, you wanna provide an example?