Dating, Relationships, & Sex, Lists, Pop Culture, Theory & Essay

just don’t do it (three of the most common relationship mistakes women make)

tip-tiny-sent1

as t.i. and tiny continue to prove, romantic relationships aren’t a continual loop of milkshakes, bliss, burps, and glee. sometimes you’re gonna hafta hide your mans gats in your purse, and sometimes you’re gonna need to remind your girl that its probably not the best idea to tell her stylist, “you know what? i’m going to court today, and i wanna look a damn fool. can you make me look like a damn fool”

with this in mind, arguments will occasionally occur. armed with the knowledge that “he aint gonna hit me“, though, some women occasionally break the implied geneva relationship disagreement concordance, boldly crossing the line and committing war crimes by conveniently forgetting about the “untouchables”.

the 4 f’s of fair relationship fighting, each of these subjects have the power to irrevocably damage an otherwise happy coupling, and each need to be avoided at all costs, like e coli…

unique

…and women who remind you of her.

a) fists (since we’re not allowed to hit, any negative discourse about our fighting prowess should be off the table¹.)

b) family (we already know that one of our aunts looks like rick ross. no need for you to bring it up)

c) f*cking (nnte²)

d) funds (trust me.)

in keeping with vsb’s commitment to combat crime, i’ve decided to name two more damaging relationship mistakes women occasionally make.

being bob costas.

arguably the best play-by-play man in television history, costas combines a panoramic knowledge of sports with a keen eye for detail and extensive vocabulary, qualities ensuring that the viewers know exactly whats going on at all times. he misses nothing. no detail or occurrence is too minute or insignificant to share…a fact also making him the patron saint of annoying girlfriends.

while we understand that women generally need avenues to verbally emote, there’s a fine line between “fishing for innocent feedback” and “scooping the salon with every salacious relationship specific like sandra rose.

your moms doesn’t need to know about his strange weekend “dusk slobbers” and every minute disagreement you’ve ever had, and, if you actually want to keep your man from eventually f*cking one of your friends, your lonely ass girls don’t need to be briefed with every bottom-line banality of your bi-weekly bedroom back-breakings

you’re in a relationship with one person…not one-third of your blackberry’s address book, and every bit of publicly shared “tmi” slowly tears away from your foundation like club mist and cvs eyeliner

disturbing the peace

we lie.

daily.

hourly even. i will not deny this. sh*t, i’m texting a pseudo-lie to three separate people while i’m writing this sentence³.

despite these admittedly troubling facts, our white lies are our most chivalrous act, our way of protecting you all from windmills, waterfalls, white women, and our burgeoning p*rn addictions, and its a relationship death knell to worry yourself over every minor inconsistency. i mean, think about it: do you really want us to tell you the truth about everything?

everything?

do you really need to know that last weekend’s slightly sprained ankle came from stupidly walking into an in ground waterfall when double taking too long at a zoe saldana doppleganger downtown…and not from winning an impromptu dunk contest on a 8 foot rim at the park? is it really paramount for you to know that the missed call you “accidentally” noticed on his iphone last month is from his crazy-ass ex randomly drunk dialing him at 5pm…not his nephew?

nah. i didnt think so.

i could name a few dozen more, but i’m not contractually obligated to reveal anymore until the geneva relationship disagreement concordance is amended.

until then, any additions?

¹unless your name is “shad moss”
²”no need to expound”
³i’m lying

—the champ


Filed Under: , , ,
Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a contributing editor for EBONY.com. He resides in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes.

Previously

the condition

Next

title nine

  • RedBeanzNRice

    But what? Is this post complete, Champers? I’m feeling like I’m dangling over here.

    And YES we want the truth, but you can’t handle the truth.

    • http://mimi-theresno1likeme.blogspot.com/ Mimi

      @RedBeanzNRice,

      I thought I was the only one. I feel like the post isn’t complete! LOL

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @Mimi,

        still?

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @Mimi,

        still?

    • http://mimi-theresno1likeme.blogspot.com/ Mimi

      @RedBeanzNRice,

      I thought I was the only one. I feel like the post isn’t complete! LOL

  • RedBeanzNRice

    But what? Is this post complete, Champers? I’m feeling like I’m dangling over here.

    And YES we want the truth, but you can’t handle the truth.

  • iloVEGrits

    Maybe I’m too early cuz this doesn’t seem finished yet.

    • Gem-nasty

      LMAO i’m thinkin the same thing girlfriend

    • Gem-nasty

      LMAO i’m thinkin the same thing girlfriend

    • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

      @iloVEGrits,

      Womp. Leave it to the Vampire crew to call Champ out on his unhemmed post.

      But Champie, you do know we are your focus group. We get the UnCut version (No Tip Drill)

      • overit

        @Luvvie, yes. a focus group representing the diverse cross sections of IG.

        • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

          @overit,

          We got VEG – Southern Belle IG. She be ackin like she got sense but we all know the REAL TROOF. The chile is FOOLISH!

          Overit – East African IG. Your IGnificence aint even disguised. It’s all up through ur hijab & Dereon duffle

          Luvvie – Naija IG. The most SENSIBLE of the IGs. She is oftentimes the voice of reason. *curtsies*

          • iloVEGrits

            @Luvvie,

            Luvvie also is delusion and lies. Proof:

            “Luvvie – Naija IG. The most SENSIBLE of the IGs. She is oftentimes the voice of reason.”

          • iloVEGrits

            @Luvvie,

            Luvvie also is delusion and lies. Proof:

            “Luvvie – Naija IG. The most SENSIBLE of the IGs. She is oftentimes the voice of reason.”

          • overit

            @Luvvie, Luvvie – Naija IG. The most SENSIBLE of the IGs. She is oftentimes the voice of reason. *curtsies*

            whew, good thing morris chestnut was here, if he wasn’t, ida choked on my water at that.

            sensible? really? *dream sequence of all of luvvie’s IGNORANT WAYS i am too tired to document, ya’ll have long term memorys”*

            i do rep the east siiiiiiiide though. holla! i got some anjera for ya’ll, veg brought some jambalaya, luvvie got some rice lmao.

            and for the record, my dereon duffle’s zipper broke the day my pleather dereon pants did. da*ntheywrong!

            • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

              @overit,

              I’m REALLY mad at u for mentioning pleather Dereon pants. You know there’s prolly a Dereon Spy amongst us. This is gon be on their Fall 2009 collection. And I will blame you wholeheartedly.

            • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

              @overit,

              I’m REALLY mad at u for mentioning pleather Dereon pants. You know there’s prolly a Dereon Spy amongst us. This is gon be on their Fall 2009 collection. And I will blame you wholeheartedly.

          • overit

            @Luvvie, Luvvie – Naija IG. The most SENSIBLE of the IGs. She is oftentimes the voice of reason. *curtsies*

            whew, good thing morris chestnut was here, if he wasn’t, ida choked on my water at that.

            sensible? really? *dream sequence of all of luvvie’s IGNORANT WAYS i am too tired to document, ya’ll have long term memorys”*

            i do rep the east siiiiiiiide though. holla! i got some anjera for ya’ll, veg brought some jambalaya, luvvie got some rice lmao.

            and for the record, my dereon duffle’s zipper broke the day my pleather dereon pants did. da*ntheywrong!

          • shay_d_lady

            @Luvvie, aww so you just gone leave me and Shatani by the wayside huh? what about me, Harpo? what about me…….

            • overit

              @shay_d_lady, LMAO! ya’ll know the vs-perience would not be complete without your wild stories and shatani’s hilarious commentary.

            • overit

              @shay_d_lady, LMAO! ya’ll know the vs-perience would not be complete without your wild stories and shatani’s hilarious commentary.

            • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

              @shay_d_lady,

              Aw naw!!! Yall kno I’s senile! I only listed the folks that were here. Hell, I almost forgot myself. Thats why I was last. lol

            • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

              @shay_d_lady,

              Aw naw!!! Yall kno I’s senile! I only listed the folks that were here. Hell, I almost forgot myself. Thats why I was last. lol

          • shay_d_lady

            @Luvvie, aww so you just gone leave me and Shatani by the wayside huh? what about me, Harpo? what about me…….

        • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

          @overit,

          We got VEG – Southern Belle IG. She be ackin like she got sense but we all know the REAL TROOF. The chile is FOOLISH!

          Overit – East African IG. Your IGnificence aint even disguised. It’s all up through ur hijab & Dereon duffle

          Luvvie – Naija IG. The most SENSIBLE of the IGs. She is oftentimes the voice of reason. *curtsies*

      • overit

        @Luvvie, yes. a focus group representing the diverse cross sections of IG.

    • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

      @iloVEGrits,

      Womp. Leave it to the Vampire crew to call Champ out on his unhemmed post.

      But Champie, you do know we are your focus group. We get the UnCut version (No Tip Drill)

  • iloVEGrits

    Maybe I’m too early cuz this doesn’t seem finished yet.

  • RedBeanzNRice

    I gotta say – one relationship no-no is snooping. Yours truly has played Super-Sleuth Sherlock on quite a few occasions, but to be fair, had he TOLD THE TRUTH in the first place, there would be no need for the snooping.

    Still, all in all, snooping is a BIG relationship mistake.

    • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

      @RedBeanzNRice,

      Yup! When you go looking, you WILL find something. Forget you know his passwords. Just let things BE!

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @Luvvie,

        Forget you know his passwords.

        lol…i dont think this is possible. i think you’d literally hafta give a woman one of those men in black flash things in order to mentally erase an account password

        • http://freetherapyorelse.blogspot.com Sula

          @The Champ,

          Or just nicely ask him to change them.

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            @Sula,

            Or just nicely ask him to change them.

            so basically say

            “hey honeybun, can you do me a favor? since you lended me your gmail account password a couple months ago, i havent been able to resist the urge to ravage through your inbox like the zombies in 28 days later. i know this is a latent sign of distrust, but…i dont know, i love you so much. would you mind changing it for me, pretty please?”

            • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

              @The Champ,

              Pretty much. You could add “with a cherry on top” for extra effect

            • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

              @The Champ,

              Pretty much. You could add “with a cherry on top” for extra effect

            • http://freetherapyorelse.blogspot.com Sula

              @The Champ,

              Yup. Luvvie, got it right. The cherry on top will be a very nice addition. :)

            • http://freetherapyorelse.blogspot.com Sula

              @The Champ,

              Yup. Luvvie, got it right. The cherry on top will be a very nice addition. :)

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            @Sula,

            Or just nicely ask him to change them.

            so basically say

            “hey honeybun, can you do me a favor? since you lended me your gmail account password a couple months ago, i havent been able to resist the urge to ravage through your inbox like the zombies in 28 days later. i know this is a latent sign of distrust, but…i dont know, i love you so much. would you mind changing it for me, pretty please?”

        • http://freetherapyorelse.blogspot.com Sula

          @The Champ,

          Or just nicely ask him to change them.

        • Me fail english?

          @The Champ,

          It’s possible. You just need a whooooole lotta self-control…which most people don’t have…nevermind

        • Me fail english?

          @The Champ,

          It’s possible. You just need a whooooole lotta self-control…which most people don’t have…nevermind

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @Luvvie,

        Forget you know his passwords.

        lol…i dont think this is possible. i think you’d literally hafta give a woman one of those men in black flash things in order to mentally erase an account password

    • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

      @RedBeanzNRice,

      Yup! When you go looking, you WILL find something. Forget you know his passwords. Just let things BE!

    • Gem-nasty

      LOL i’ve done this too. but deep down i didn’t need to see the proof, my 3rd eye and 6th sense already told me trouble was brewing. but nooooo i just had to go and look. but even after i printed the emails that negro still tried to LIE!!!!!!

      men. *smh*

      • Me fail english?

        @Gem-nasty,

        lol. That’s what really grinds my gears. not the fact that you’re lying. But the fact that you’re telling a stupid lie that insults BOTH of our intelligence…and I have the receipts right here, Whit!

        • Gem-nasty

          LMAO @ the receipts.

          “show me the receipts!!” if i ever saw a receipt for a crack transaction i’d DIE.

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            @Gem-nasty,

            i bet shamrock made receipts

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            @Gem-nasty,

            i bet shamrock made receipts

        • Gem-nasty

          LMAO @ the receipts.

          “show me the receipts!!” if i ever saw a receipt for a crack transaction i’d DIE.

      • Me fail english?

        @Gem-nasty,

        lol. That’s what really grinds my gears. not the fact that you’re lying. But the fact that you’re telling a stupid lie that insults BOTH of our intelligence…and I have the receipts right here, Whit!

    • Gem-nasty

      LOL i’ve done this too. but deep down i didn’t need to see the proof, my 3rd eye and 6th sense already told me trouble was brewing. but nooooo i just had to go and look. but even after i printed the emails that negro still tried to LIE!!!!!!

      men. *smh*

    • Reci

      @RedBeanzNRice,
      I’ve suffered from this also in the past.. It’s not my fault that he made his passwords so freakin’ easy to guess. Or that one time he gave me his MySpace password because he didn’t know how to change his profile song, I just happened to remember it. I’ve had access to phone records, e-mails, Facebook messages, etc.

      Yes, I’m Reci, and I was once a crazy psycho as.s girlfriend in my past life.

      • IDaHoe

        @Reci,
        Simply breathtaking…..

        Question (1) What would warrant this type of behavior?

        Also provide a response to this analogy. I lock ALL of my passwords into my computer. [While pursuing this analogy, assume that I had done NOTHING to make you suspect that there was any foul play]. If you had to use my computer and I was in the next room or had stepped out of the crib for a minute, would you read my emails?

        Also would you do this to someone that you are merely dating or would reserve this behavior for only the more serious relationships? I guess what I am asking is if there is some type of sliding scale that you use to determine “who” you will spy on or do you do it indiscriminately?

        Thats why i like gmail… b/c it tells you when these type of shenanigans have been perpetrated against you.

        • tbird

          @IDaHoe,
          Thats why i like gmail… b/c it tells you when these type of shenanigans have been perpetrated against you.

          how do you turn this on?

          • IDaHoe

            @tbird,

            As soon as you log on the following appears at the bottom of the page:

            You are currently using 0 MB (0%) of your 7318 MB.

            Last account activity: 1 day ago on this computer. Details

          • IDaHoe

            @tbird,

            As soon as you log on the following appears at the bottom of the page:

            You are currently using 0 MB (0%) of your 7318 MB.

            Last account activity: 1 day ago on this computer. Details

        • tbird

          @IDaHoe,
          Thats why i like gmail… b/c it tells you when these type of shenanigans have been perpetrated against you.

          how do you turn this on?

        • Reci

          @IDaHoe,

          To answer all of your questions…

          Question (1) What would warrant this type of behavior?

          Insecurities, trust issues that I had in the relationship, not trusting my own intuition and needing concrete evidence to support what I’m feeling.

          (2) so provide a response to this analogy. I lock ALL of my passwords into my computer. [While pursuing this analogy, assume that I had done NOTHING to make you suspect that there was any foul play]. If you had to use my computer and I was in the next room or had stepped out of the crib for a minute, would you read my emails?

          If you have never given me any reason to believe there was anything foul going on. Well, no, I would not impose on your privacy if I used your computer.

          (3) Also would you do this to someone that you are merely dating or would reserve this behavior for only the more serious relationships? I guess what I am asking is if there is some type of sliding scale that you use to determine “who” you will spy on or do you do it indiscriminately?

          It would definitely have to be a serious relationship in which there was a breach of trust in the first place.

          I no longer do this. Everything I have ever discovered was things I already knew intuitively. However, I have had girlfriends where breaking their boyfriend/husband’s privacy for no reason at all has unveiled all types of things they would have never known or wanted to know.

          (3)Also would you do this to someone that you are merely dating or would reserve this behavior for only the more serious relationships? I guess what I am asking is if there is some type of sliding scale that you use to determine “who” you will spy on or do you do it indiscriminately?

          • IDaHoe

            @Reci,

            Thanks for addressing my inquiries in such a methodical fashion.

            I’m not real big on titles, but when I have been in relationships, I NEVER did anything like that. I know guys whose insecurities (in themselves as well as the females they are dating) drive them crazy. In the words of the late, great Gerald Levert, “I Aint no Casanova.” However, I have too much pride to allow myself to perform covert operations and such.

            I respect you for acknowledging your own insecurities and I am glad that you have overcome them.

          • IDaHoe

            @Reci,

            Thanks for addressing my inquiries in such a methodical fashion.

            I’m not real big on titles, but when I have been in relationships, I NEVER did anything like that. I know guys whose insecurities (in themselves as well as the females they are dating) drive them crazy. In the words of the late, great Gerald Levert, “I Aint no Casanova.” However, I have too much pride to allow myself to perform covert operations and such.

            I respect you for acknowledging your own insecurities and I am glad that you have overcome them.

        • Reci

          @IDaHoe,

          To answer all of your questions…

          Question (1) What would warrant this type of behavior?

          Insecurities, trust issues that I had in the relationship, not trusting my own intuition and needing concrete evidence to support what I’m feeling.

          (2) so provide a response to this analogy. I lock ALL of my passwords into my computer. [While pursuing this analogy, assume that I had done NOTHING to make you suspect that there was any foul play]. If you had to use my computer and I was in the next room or had stepped out of the crib for a minute, would you read my emails?

          If you have never given me any reason to believe there was anything foul going on. Well, no, I would not impose on your privacy if I used your computer.

          (3) Also would you do this to someone that you are merely dating or would reserve this behavior for only the more serious relationships? I guess what I am asking is if there is some type of sliding scale that you use to determine “who” you will spy on or do you do it indiscriminately?

          It would definitely have to be a serious relationship in which there was a breach of trust in the first place.

          I no longer do this. Everything I have ever discovered was things I already knew intuitively. However, I have had girlfriends where breaking their boyfriend/husband’s privacy for no reason at all has unveiled all types of things they would have never known or wanted to know.

          (3)Also would you do this to someone that you are merely dating or would reserve this behavior for only the more serious relationships? I guess what I am asking is if there is some type of sliding scale that you use to determine “who” you will spy on or do you do it indiscriminately?

      • IDaHoe

        @Reci,
        Simply breathtaking…..

        Question (1) What would warrant this type of behavior?

        Also provide a response to this analogy. I lock ALL of my passwords into my computer. [While pursuing this analogy, assume that I had done NOTHING to make you suspect that there was any foul play]. If you had to use my computer and I was in the next room or had stepped out of the crib for a minute, would you read my emails?

        Also would you do this to someone that you are merely dating or would reserve this behavior for only the more serious relationships? I guess what I am asking is if there is some type of sliding scale that you use to determine “who” you will spy on or do you do it indiscriminately?

        Thats why i like gmail… b/c it tells you when these type of shenanigans have been perpetrated against you.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @Reci,

        Yes, I’m Reci, and I was once a crazy psycho as.s girlfriend in my past life

        past life?

        • Reci

          @The Champ,

          Yes, I have certainly calmed down from my old self.

        • Reci

          @The Champ,

          Yes, I have certainly calmed down from my old self.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @Reci,

        Yes, I’m Reci, and I was once a crazy psycho as.s girlfriend in my past life

        past life?

      • miss t-lee

        @Reci,
        “Or that one time he gave me his MySpace password because he didn’t know how to change his profile song, I just happened to remember it.”

        Suuuuure….lol
        We’re all family here, you ain’t gots to lie chick…
        *giggling*

      • miss t-lee

        @Reci,
        “Or that one time he gave me his MySpace password because he didn’t know how to change his profile song, I just happened to remember it.”

        Suuuuure….lol
        We’re all family here, you ain’t gots to lie chick…
        *giggling*

    • Reci

      @RedBeanzNRice,
      I’ve suffered from this also in the past.. It’s not my fault that he made his passwords so freakin’ easy to guess. Or that one time he gave me his MySpace password because he didn’t know how to change his profile song, I just happened to remember it. I’ve had access to phone records, e-mails, Facebook messages, etc.

      Yes, I’m Reci, and I was once a crazy psycho as.s girlfriend in my past life.

  • RedBeanzNRice

    I gotta say – one relationship no-no is snooping. Yours truly has played Super-Sleuth Sherlock on quite a few occasions, but to be fair, had he TOLD THE TRUTH in the first place, there would be no need for the snooping.

    Still, all in all, snooping is a BIG relationship mistake.

  • Gem-nasty

    were you going to put up footnotes for your subscripts?? or is your 3-person-text-lie taking up too much of your time to be bothered with details involving VSB??

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @Gem-nasty,

      footnote deez

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @Gem-nasty,

      footnote deez

  • Gem-nasty

    were you going to put up footnotes for your subscripts?? or is your 3-person-text-lie taking up too much of your time to be bothered with details involving VSB??

  • iloVEGrits

    First, love the being Bob Costas one. I tell the women folk all the time no man wants to hear all about your day. They don’t want the play by play. lol. Just give ’em the highlights.

    I’d add:

    1. Expecting your man to fulfill all of your needs all the time to the list. Both women and men do this, actually. No one is perfect on any given day…if there isn’t a consistent pattern of neglect on your partner’s part, some of the things they overlook should be given a pass.

    1a. Expecting someone to carry your cross for you. You lost a job, your mom is sick…yes your partner is supposed to be there for you BUT everyone has their own burdens and breaking points. You have to be realistic about what you expect from someone during your difficult times.

    1b. Expecting your man to respond/act in the way your girlfriend would. First of all, he’s your man…not your girlfriend. If you wanted him to react the way she would, you should have told her first. You have to let people be who they are in the moment. Over time, they will get to know what you need better and attempt to temper their responses/reactions to your needs. But blowing up at him cuz he didn’t respond how Susie did? Not a good look.

    2. Being delusional about what you bring to the relationship, i.e. the ‘alpha female’ complex. It is these attitudes, delusional ones, that I think have a lot of chicks wondering why their stables are empty. Nothing about anyone is 100 percent great. We are all hopelessly flawed and we need to own up to those.

    3. Trying to be what you are not. If you are a mush bucket, do not try to be a hard ass. If you are conservative, do not try to act like a freak. If you want a relationship, do not try to “kick it”. Doing what you think the man wants most often results in you sitting with a cracked face, alone.

    • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

      @iloVEGrits,

      **Jesus is Christ the King and will Wrap me in His Arms Always Faith Tabernacle Church of God Pentecostal Baptist**

      *scoots in the aisles until Ushers tell me to go Sat Down*

      • shay_d_lady

        oh my, she said that!…

      • shay_d_lady

        oh my, she said that!…

    • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

      @iloVEGrits,

      **Jesus is Christ the King and will Wrap me in His Arms Always Faith Tabernacle Church of God Pentecostal Baptist**

      *scoots in the aisles until Ushers tell me to go Sat Down*

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @iloVEGrits,

      1a. Expecting someone to carry your cross for you. You lost a job, your mom is sick…yes your partner is supposed to be there for you BUT everyone has their own burdens and breaking points. You have to be realistic about what you expect from someone during your difficult times.

      good point and sh*t

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @iloVEGrits,

      1a. Expecting someone to carry your cross for you. You lost a job, your mom is sick…yes your partner is supposed to be there for you BUT everyone has their own burdens and breaking points. You have to be realistic about what you expect from someone during your difficult times.

      good point and sh*t

    • A Plus

      @iloVEGrits, Doing what you think the man wants most often results in you sitting with a cracked face, alone.

      this.is.the.TROOF!!!

    • A Plus

      @iloVEGrits, Doing what you think the man wants most often results in you sitting with a cracked face, alone.

      this.is.the.TROOF!!!

    • SouthernGirl

      @iloVEGrits,

      *shooting gold stars* all up and through this….

    • SouthernGirl

      @iloVEGrits,

      *shooting gold stars* all up and through this….

  • iloVEGrits

    First, love the being Bob Costas one. I tell the women folk all the time no man wants to hear all about your day. They don’t want the play by play. lol. Just give ’em the highlights.

    I’d add:

    1. Expecting your man to fulfill all of your needs all the time to the list. Both women and men do this, actually. No one is perfect on any given day…if there isn’t a consistent pattern of neglect on your partner’s part, some of the things they overlook should be given a pass.

    1a. Expecting someone to carry your cross for you. You lost a job, your mom is sick…yes your partner is supposed to be there for you BUT everyone has their own burdens and breaking points. You have to be realistic about what you expect from someone during your difficult times.

    1b. Expecting your man to respond/act in the way your girlfriend would. First of all, he’s your man…not your girlfriend. If you wanted him to react the way she would, you should have told her first. You have to let people be who they are in the moment. Over time, they will get to know what you need better and attempt to temper their responses/reactions to your needs. But blowing up at him cuz he didn’t respond how Susie did? Not a good look.

    2. Being delusional about what you bring to the relationship, i.e. the ‘alpha female’ complex. It is these attitudes, delusional ones, that I think have a lot of chicks wondering why their stables are empty. Nothing about anyone is 100 percent great. We are all hopelessly flawed and we need to own up to those.

    3. Trying to be what you are not. If you are a mush bucket, do not try to be a hard ass. If you are conservative, do not try to act like a freak. If you want a relationship, do not try to “kick it”. Doing what you think the man wants most often results in you sitting with a cracked face, alone.

More Like This