I used to have a Trapper Keeper. Boy did I love my Trapper Keeper. It kept traps. It was ATL all the way. All white everything. In fact, my trapper keeper thought it was Big Meech.
Now I can’t remember exactly what about it made it so special to me but I loved it until the day it got run over in the streets . Or maybe it got raped in the streets since they rapin’ everybody out here. The main bullet point here is that it was special. Nobody could tell me anything about my binder. It was a keeper. I loved it and hugged it and did all kinds of dreaming about the day that me and my keeper would graduate from college together and get jobs as managers at McDonald’s.
So all of that was a lie.
But what isn’t a lie is that there are different things that each of us look to in order to determine if somebody we’re with is a keeper. It could be a character thing. It could be something physical. It can be mental. Sometimes you don’t even know it until you see it. Despite this, there are some general characteristics that ALL keepers have. Period. Such as? No problem.
1. The female members of the family love him or her
This holds especially true for women. If mom dukes and the overprotective sisters (or is that just me…I have A LOT of sisters) really like a woman – and you will definitely know if moms likes her – then she just might be a keeper. While women often make horrid decisions in men (shots fired) one thing they know is a bad woman when they see one. Men have a little bit of an easier go with this one as most of the men in the family will be fine with him if he’s into sports and isn’t a douche. The women will probably focus more on how he looks and then his resume to figure that he sucks until much later when they’re on dontdatehimgirl.com and see his profile and read about his 17 kids all named &.
And yes, I meant to put the name “&”.
2. They are able to handle stressful situations without making everybody around them worse
You ever been dating somebody and when they get stressed you feel like you did something wrong? No? Just me? I’m convinced that the way people handle stress will let you know everything you need to know. If they shut down and sulk all day. You’re in for a f*cked up life. If they throw things, somebody’s going to jail. If they take a minute to be pissy or worried but then focus on solutions and positivity….KEEP THEM. Contrary to popular belief there are a lot of people out here who can’t handle stress to save their lives. Just like dumb girls get you dead, and dumb guys become CEOs, axe murderers and ugly chipmunks will get you evicted.
Take that to the bank.
3. You feel better about yourself when they’re around
While I recongize that some folks have the self-esteem of Eeyore and therefore feel better when ANYBODY is around, I more mean that person who kicks up your positive energy and makes you want to build sh*t. Heck, I’ve been with a woman who made me want to built log cabins before. So I bought Lincoln Logs. Of course, I ALSO wanted to kick them sh*ts over like 15 minutes AFTER putting them up because of her, but she’s an ex for a reason right? But if somebody actually makes you want to go do something different in the world, like adopt goldfish and hug cacti. Or cactuses.
4. They like Outkast and can say the words “damn damn damn James” at all possible times
5. They read VSB
How’d that get in there?
6. They support you even when you aren’t sure about your own sh*t
I don’t believe in unhealthy relationships unless it involves gluttonous eating at Chipotle and Don Pablo’s. But when you are with somebody who supports even your bad ideas just enough to keep you believing in yourself, well, you can’t just let them go. So what that Icey Hot Toilet Seat didn’t work out, they’re going to use it because it was your idea. Yes you do look fat in those jeans, but you know what, they’re your jeans and we love you in them. And if you want to go the gym, we’ll go too. Because like Lenny Williams, we love you, you keeper you.
Those are a few signs of a surefire keeper, what are others?
And yes, Kool-Aid in the fridge is the universal sign of a keeper.
Run and tell that, homeboy.
-VSB P aka KING JACKSON aka THE ARSONIST aka VITAMIN P aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3
*trips over the hump in Wednesday*
See Cheeks, I wasn’t even gonna do it, but I thought ahhh, go for it stasia!
Alas I am still ^_^
“aka KING JACKSON”
-_-
it was either that or King Beef. Though actually, I should have said King Beef so I could get some chicks to sing out, “GO KING BEEF…GO KING BEEF…”
Well…beef is, after all…what’s for dinner. But, um, I appreciate your discretion, Sir. Folks ain’t ready for that quite yet.
Speak for yourself cheeks
i think a lot of girls out there are ready for a king beef
But, are you ready for Panama’s? Ebert gave it 3 stars.
Panama, I LOVE that you referenced King Beef! Folks forget or either sleep on that character.
“I would love to rock each and every one of your worrrrlds…..But first, I must dance!”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eL-ps2AOCUg
LMAO! We started calling my wanna-be-ladies-man cousin King Beef. In fact, I still call him that.
My friends first car (a bucket, we were in h.s. and atleast she had a car) had loud red, black and white tiger print seat covers. We called them “King Beef” seat covers.
I thought id try!
Delete this, I’m embarrassed.
I think we like Cheekie on top…
That’s what they all say…
Bwahaha Oh Cheekie…
Lol Sometimes I hate (read “love”) reading your posts Panama cause you make me take a long hard look in the mirror at myself. No ‘Confessions’
I stress unnessasarily…think I may need to fix that. I’m tryin to be a keeper
Awesome Post!
nope. let this ring out as a reminder that failure is an option.
Don’t be embarrassed you’re doing great!!!!He He
“Delete this, I’m embarrassed.”
Anastasia, the monotone way in which I read the above gave me kikis.
Mekalekahimekaniniho!
that’s not what anybody said.
Thanks Panama. You’re encouraging me to listen to Antoine Dodson again. HAHA. I can’t get that out of my head. I love the lion pic btw.
Antoine Dodson is my new ring tone. i can’t even lie. every time i hear the auto-tuned “hide your kids, hide your wife” i fall out laughing. i want to share my laughter with others.
i secretly hope i’m in a work meeting and my phone rings so that everybody asks me what the hell that was and i have to tell them and send them to youtube.
btw, i work with white people. old white poeple. like Gerry Atric works here.
“Gerry Atric works here”
That was pretty clever your 3ness.
I was bout to say the samething about the cleverness of Gerry Atric LOL
Maybe I have a different set of female friends, but mine are good enough that I would say female friends should go along with family members in #1. Family loved ex-girlfriends, friends hated them. Friends were right.
This could be an issue if a man has female friends with whom there’s some level of attraction, but outside that I think friends have to like keepers too. I know it’s a rule for me. That hot stove’s not burning me again.
@B. Brown – Maybe I have a different set of female friends, but mine are good enough that I would say female friends should go along with family members in #1. Family loved ex-girlfriends, friends hated them. Friends were right.
you might. i do realize that a lot of women actually have GOOD friends of similar gender, however, i cannot tell you how many women i know that i’d straight up tell not to trust a single thing their homegirls have said to them.
Sharing is a big sign of a keeper for me. Especially if I want to share. I’m pretty bratty, especially with food, so if I’m sharing with the person I must really care about them. Sad? I know. And if they’re sharing with me, I know they’re not greedy and selfish. It’s simple but I’ve yet to meet a lot of people who are willing to share things that matter to them.
@Nicollllleee.
I am a very very giving and selfless person. . . .but when it comes to food…………….
when I’m hungry, I’m greedy and when I’m not hungry, I’m greedy. I love food and very rare do I offer my last unless there are some serious circumstances, no matter who you are.
(I know how fat that sounds, but I’m 5’9” and I maintained 155lbs for a long time and I’m currently at my TEMPORARY max of 204lbs)
i’ve always found sharing to be an interesting gauge of how “quality” a person was. mostly b/c very rarely do you see it on a guys list of must have qualities. i think women attribute willingness to share to a man’s willingness to give of himself to her. it’s more about what a man will sacrifice for a woman than it is about what gets shared.
i’ve seen women go gaga over half a chicken wing b/c “he must like me, he gave me the bone”. women truly are “its the thought” that counts half the time.
so here’s a surefire way to get in a chicks good spirits. next time you’re at a drive thru, and you get some change. give her a penny. tell her some non-sense like, if this was all i had i’d still give it to you.
10 bucks says she frames it.
all this assumes that she actually likes you, btw.
and i dont share food. if you want what i got, you should have ordered it. that’s why i ordered it, cuz i wanted it.
“next time you’re at a drive thru, and you get some change. give her a penny. tell her some non-sense like, if this was all i had i’d still give it to you.”
This is so gayly romantic. *swoons*
first, making love, now handing over pennies w/ one liners like: if this were all I had, I’d still give it to you.
You’re on roll this week.
Cinnabon.
WTF!? ROTFL
sad part is its tru! damn damn damn =/
“and i dont share food. if you want what i got, you should have ordered it. that’s why i ordered it, cuz i wanted it.”
I say this all the time, especially to my coworkers. There is more where I got mine from go get your own.
“next time you’re at a drive thru, and you get some change. give her a penny. tell her some non-sense like, if this was all i had i’d still give it to you.”
————————————————-
my heart just skipped a beat. lol
I was going to make this very same comment…using different words of course….
But I dated a guy who snapped on me because I wanted some of his fries…first time that had ever happened to me…and I vowed that day to never date another guy who wasn’t willing to share his food. I don’t eat that much anyway. But I’m currently seeing a guy who always offers me some of what he’s eating and wouldn’t even snap on me if I said I wanted one fry but took almost all of them. I don’t know…he just might be a keeper….
1. they actually enjoy exercising.
2. they know how to cook really really really well. if you can cook amazing food on demand i’ll eat my emotions anyday and we’d never fight again.
‘hide ya kids, hide ya wife’
thanks lol, just wen i replaced that song replaying over and over in my head with THE most catchiest tune on the planet (which is without a doubt ‘bonita applebum, you gotta put me on’), you’ve gone and stuck that filth right back on replay in my head.
Hide ya husbands because they booty snatch’n errrybody round here!!!!
@santa monica
#2 hilarious, not the “eat your emotions!”
Glad I’m not the only greedy one.
@santa monica – i find your #1 an interesting sign of a keeper. so if a dude wasn’t into exercise, they wouldn’t be a keeper? what if he was just naturally physically fit like jabba the hut or big bird?
jabba the hut is sexy as hell, i love a little belly on a man, but when i think keeper i think that persons for life.
people who exercise regularly when they’re younger, have less problems w. aging. If I’m gonna carry out my plans of being an 89 year old world-traveling food-sampling travel channel host, i need somebody that can keep up with me physically. And even tho u can never predict the future, its more likely that people that dont enjoy exercising now wont be as energetic then
LOL @ “eat my emotions”
I want a tshirt that says, “Out To Lunch. Eating My Emotions. Be Back at 1pm”
make that an edible shirt and i’m in!
Actually, making it edible is genius? Care to be my business pahtna?
haha, on a sort of unrelated note. does anybody know how edible panties taste? are they sugary? or is it like laffy taffy?
i’d like purple/grape in a L please and thanks.
*thinks to self.. my e-wallet is a lot lighter since reading vsb with all these damn tees. i need an e-job!
# 4. Spottieottiedopaliscious Angel
I had a trapper keeper and I loved that joint. It was the one with the three cute puppies on the grassy green background.
Great post and I love the Antoine Dobson references and I sing that song. Matter of fact at work, we break out in song and sing it. That said, my co-worker sent me the picture text of life! She went home to her apartmnent and on the large electric/utility box in front of her apartment someone had tagged up (graffitti writing) “He’s climbing in your windows snatching your people up…Run & tell that, Run & tell that” She sent me the photo and I was like “huh?” until I read the graffitti on the box. I had to forward it immediately! LMAO!
Not to be conceited, but I’m a keeper. Now when will game recognize game?! LOL! * let me have a fun brazen moment
*
@Legitimate_Soul
You’re conceited enough to say you’re a ‘keeper’, yet humble enough to leave out the ‘trapper’.
Not conceited. I’m just good people. But wasn’t it you who posted yesterday” “Gotcha’ B*tch!. Dave Chapelle”
^You be trappin’ em’ too ….and getting wife-beaters in the multi-pack and basketball shorts to do so
^^ zing!
Keisha, you my e-sis fa’ real!
Hey, that basketball shorts and wifebeater tip ya’ll gave me yesterday WORKS. Hell, I’m in the office wearing that shyt right now. Never before have I gotten more compliments from the sistahs and pulled over by the cops twice on my way into work. I dont know, maybe its the cornrows.
Anyway, the love in the office is incredible. One of the sistahs even came up to me as I was at the printer and asked, “Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?” So I simply flashed my gold toofus and said, “B!tch,…you know I aint be gots no weapon!”. Next thing you know, she slipped me her digits and told me to meet her in the copy room in 10 mins. Matter of fact…….brb!
^You’d be sexier with a jherri curl***
*Heyall to the Naw. Whitney Houston. Just funnin’ and going with the scenario.
I want you to leave your keyboard, forever, Just stop, Mr SoBo. A. mess!
woooow…and what world is this Mr Sobo?
u wish! lol
1. Um, yeah, so I’m currently caught up in this situation right now. Ex’s mom still calls and texts me. It’s been a year since the crash&burn of our relationship, a solid 8 mos since I’ve had ANY communication w/ this ninja, but his mama still contacts me like everything’s cool.
She’s nice and all and we were close (given that she was about to be my MIL), but er um, I really wish she would let it die, cause her telling me every detail of his life and how she hates the other slut (her words, not mine) is not going to change anything.
Ooh it crashed AND burned????
Dang homie!
I don’t mean burn literally lol, just that it was Flava Flav ugly in terms of breakups
Flava flav ugly? Daaayuuum!
I had to break up with my ex’s family. I basically told his mom that it wasn’t healthy for me to maintain a relationship with her and everyone else followed suit. I still get an occasional email and I keep my responses short, simple, and sweet. Now she usually doesn’t make comments about him, but when she does I don’t respond to those.
The “other slut,” huh? That sounds like some hatred right there. My ex’s mom can’t even muster the strength to come up with a descriptor so she just calls his whatever-she-is “that woman!”
breaking up with the ex’s fam is the WORSE! my ex’s mom called me at work to guilt trip me, had me cryin and ish outside in the snow (it was winter) because she KNEW i was too good for her son and loved me like a daughter! then his best friend wanted to rent a hotel room and (which i could do the strike through right now) “watch movies”. that showed to me that men can be soooo doggish not only to women, but to their own boys.
@ ATyp- I wish I could just say that politely, but I don’t know how. She’s even let me know that their not as close as they used to be because she won’t accept the other girl.
@Keisha- Dayum! In the snow homie? Head games are a mother (pun intended) aren’t they?
Sorry, I’ll give it a try I’ve been trying to catch up at work today since it’s my first day back after 3 weeks away and I totally missed your response.
It’s really not your problem that ol’ dude and his mom aren’t that close anymore. She can’t possibly think that telling you all his/their business is helping anything. Just tell her you’ve moved on and so should she and if you can’t do that, just stop taking the calls.
@ Keisha Brown – Thanks for the return welcome. My post yesterday was actually from the island, but it’s back to reality now.
@ Miss Keisha,
Emotional black mail is an unfair bish! if she knows you were too good for her son, she KNOWS why.
@legit_soul:
EXACTLY. She prob wanted someone to hurry up and get him the hell outta her house.
this must be the other side of the alleged “shortage” – mom’s attempting to keep the ex’s at arm’s length on the off chance that it can still work out.
and btw, if you don’t want to hear about it…why take the calls. why not tell her, quite explicity, “i do not want to have any more contact, this is weird…”
you all do know that you don’t actually HAVE to continue the relationship right?
@PJ
I didnt continue a relationship. She called me the day after I broke up with her son. I didnt know it was her, as he still lived at home. I thought it was him calling.. soo… *keishashrug
wow. its crazy how a mother will latch on to her son’s gf/ex-gf when she really thinks he’s found (and then lost) a “keeper.” and having seen some of the trollops my guy friends date, i cant blame them.
BUT you’re right, she needs to let it die and let him and her move on to the next. my ex’s mom told me once, after we’d broken up, that she still considered me her future daughter in law. and that even if he were to walk down the aisle with another woman, she’d always consider me his true love. WHOA. i loved her to death, but i stopped calling her on mother’s day because i hated to be thought of in that way when it was clear her son and i were over.
“and how she hates the other slut.”
Be careful IGIAT (you need a shorter name).
She’s a crafty one. Either I’m a conspiracy theorist, or she’s calling you a slut on the sneak tip. That OTHER slut…who is the initial slut?
Lol, Me thinks you are a conspiracy theorist, take off the tin foil hat bruh.
I think in my haste of typing at 12:22 in the a.m. it should have said “that other slut” instead of “the other slut.” Better?
Besides, his mom hates the fact that the other girl is older than him with two very young kids by a married man, so she applies the word freely when talking about her.
That OTHER slut…who is the initial slut?
I was thinking the same thing!
I also would add someone that makes you excited to live life with them, you couldn’t imagine your life without them in it, and they make you a better person to the list…
I love this addition!
i feel this same way about parfaits.
welcome and sh*t, btw (i think)
Hmm. This post didn’t me wanna claw my eyes out. Good job P.
your backhanded compliments are getting better. good job. asshat.
*your
Oh, so no thank you for the correction? I see what you on, P… *adds another reason why I
love youhatechu*You shouldve kept four and five!
I want my next boyfriend to call me his spottieottiedopaliscious angel. lol
I cant lie, if a chick ever told met that Outkast wasn’t dope, I’d seriously consider never speaking to her again. That’s the kind of stuff that makes me judge people.
“I cant lie, if a chick ever told met that Outkast wasn’t dope, I’d seriously consider never speaking to her again.”
That’s real, some groups are universally bomb and if you don’t know it or know why then your presence in my life has to be reconsidered post haste!
Agreed.
GoodTaste in music and movies is one of those litmus tests people don’t pay enough attention to.I had a purple trapper keeper…lol I loved that jump. Keeper? #2 and #6 are on point.
Antoine Dobson???
*Checks youtube*…………..0__o
BHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
I’ll come back in the morning, I have to see this couple more times.
lmao @panama and the whole antonio dodson reference!!!!
Another way to know they are keepers
1.) Can cook their ass off
2.)Enjoyable in the sack AND (notice the “AND”) you dont think about any exes / former jump offs / random celebs while doing it
3.) They actually enjoy your favorite hobby
And my trapper keeper was green. It had a built-in calculator, and i could plan everything on the planner up until 2012. I was in the 3rd grade so #WTF was i gonna plan that far ahead in 1995.
“I was in the 3rd grade so #WTF was i gonna plan that far ahead in 1995.”
LMBO
hilarious. trapper keeper was ahead of its time. literally.
2.)Enjoyable in the sack AND (notice the “AND”) you dont think about any exes / former jump offs / random celebs while doing it
so let me get this right…a dude can be enjoyable in the sack and you STILL might be thinking about (during the act) the time you domed off ochocinco?
@Muze lmao!!
@panama I meant to say bed. For some reason IDK why I put that. Anyways, I had a few female friends and they would say that they would be thinkin about some TO doppelganger imagining that she would be catching his balls. I couldnt believe it! And one jump off told me that she imagined me while she was with her man, because she said we “felt the same”. If a females can distinguish that……
And one jump off told me that she imagined me while she was with her man, because she said we “felt the same”.
Swindle #34567…. In other words, she most likely says it to everybody else.
3.) They actually enjoy your favorite hobby
see, i dont need a man to ENJOY my favorite hobby. hell, one of my fave hobbies is crocheting. if a man liked that? yeah well…. could be problematic.
that said, itd be nice if a man was willing to do things that i like, even if he doesnt like them. for instance, i enjoy outdoor activities–hiking, canoeing, white water rafting, biking, etc–and i would love to do that with the companion in my life. ive dated men who REFUSE to do these things because it’s not “their thing”. does he have to love them and be as enthusiastic about them as me? no. but it would be nice if he offered to accompany me when i do those things every now and then.
@Gem of the Ocean If a man liked crocheting, he is definitely violating Man Law or he has the weirdest form of sexual tension release ever! I think people enjoy if others at least try your hobby instead of liking it too. I know my girlfriend cant play COD: Modern Warfare 2 to save her life but she will play it and kinda gets a kick out of it. And yeah youre right. It would be nice if they would accompany you every now and then. It shows that they are interested in what you like.
Funny, I was just listening to that Lenny Williams joint earlier tonight…
#3 is one of them thangs that you just can’t fake. I’ve been blessed to be in a couple relationships with a woman that makes me feel like I can do anything…Contrary to popular belief, I usually end up not accomplishing sh*t (or at least less sh*t then usual) because I’m caught up feelin’ like I can do anything or I’m tryin’ to do things for her.
that my friend, is the ultimate catch 22.
just do the damn thang! lol!
*Visiting from Lurkerville*
#3 & #6 really are essential to me. You’ve got to be with someone who inspires you to do your best and brings positivity to your situation.
I could never be with a man that didn’t support my goals and vice versa. It’s a drain dealing w/some1 who always focuses on the negative side of things. I want someone to share in my joy, not try to steal it!
As always, good post!
Welcome! *VSB Glitter*
yes yes, welcome and sh*t…ooooothankyouveddymuch.
I’m a talker and I *must* be with a competent talker and listener. I don’t watch a lot of television outside of sports and Hist/Disc Channel – type stuff, so my significant other and I must be able to communicate freely as we most likely won’t be spending every evening in front of the tube.
With that being said, as much as I like to gab about both the trivial and non-trivial, she must also know when not to talk. It sounds simple, and most in this forum have probably mastered this skill/sense, but many of your peers, even the more intelligent, have not unfortunately.
Today while halfway into an hour long drive, 2 mins after my outside thermometer in my truck hit 101, my A/C went out. Then Jordain Spark’s “No Air” came on the radio immediately thereafter. I’m not making this up nor exaggerating. Today was *not* a talking day…
you watch Hist/Disc? that’s cool.
“Cuz”, you must have the same ju-ju on you that I have.
HA! Take it back cuzzin!
It made me think of Nas’ “The World Is Yours”
I’m the young city bandit, hold myself down single-handed
For murder raps, I kick my thoughts alone, get remanded
Born alone, die alone, no crew to keep my crown or throne
I’m deep by sound alone, caved inside in a thousand miles from home
I need a new n—–, for this black cloud to follow
Cause while it’s over me it’s too dark to see tomorrow
I wonder if you’re the Courtney I met this weekend. He didn’t really seem like the documentary type. You’re right that good conversation and intellectual interests are signs of a keeper. If you’re him I’ll let my friend know she might have a keeper, lol.
P.S. It’s HotBox Humpday!
With that being said, as much as I like to gab about both the trivial and non-trivial, she must also know when not to talk. It sounds simple, and most in this forum have probably mastered this skill/sense, but many of your peers, even the more intelligent, have not unfortunately.
you don’t actually believe that most of the women here have mastered the art of knowing when not to talk do you? i’m not firing shots at all of the women here or anything, but um…in the famous words of LL Cool J…”i aint met the motherf*cker that could do that yet…”
shots.fired.
Surely you wouldn’t be implying that there’s many a VSS running around that uh…for lack of better wordage…doesn’t know when to shut up?
Naw. Most certainly not.
*Ducks*
that’s EXACTLY what i’m implying.
lol. truth is stranger than fiction.
Dang, I must’ve said some real questionable ish to be in moderation this long, lol. My bad. I guess humpday brings it out of me?
Anyway, I agree that a good convo is QUITE important in whether the person is a keeper, whether or not you have the premium digital cable package and watch plenty of it. BUT, as my mother said, ANYONE can have a good conversation when they want to. A guy, when he wants you, can put on his best convo game for you and win you over. That better not be the only thing he has going for him.
funny as i realized tonight that the back to school commercials have started. i remember the trapper keeper commercials well. Signified summer ending.
My trapper keeper had a unicorn on it. It was the toast of my suburb. I was a dope youngin from the gate.
I also realize the trapper keeper wasn’t the point of the post.
I was looking for you to say I am so SORRY for assuming you are a man. I don’t know where I got that from! Feel free to punch me in the throat. I replied to your comment late last night from yesterday’s topic.
man, that’s some real apologizing when you ask to get punched in the throat.
awwww @SFG it’s totally ok! I won’t punch you in the throat, though….how about a kick in the nuts? wait, are you a girl too? hehehe
it actually happens a lot. i think/write like a boy sometimes. i dont mean to tho, i’m trying to fix it. i love being a girl, except once a month;)
@B.Collins, For what it’s worth (10 Monopoly $, I went to the currency exchange), I thought you were a dude before I found out otherwise (your blog I think) myself.
i LITERALLY laughed out loud at this @B Collins.
aw Lisa Frank & original Trapper Keepers… better times! =D
on point with all of those points,good ones. i especially agree with #2, stress tends to bring out the worst in people so if he handles it well, well…
i would add;
they are not afraid of expressing themselves honestly and how it makes them look (even to themselves). i’ve seen relationships die because the partners were scared of looking ‘weak’ if they appeared to care more than their boys or home-girls allowed. immature? i think so.
if they are willing to work with/tolerate your flaws and recognize that they have their own flaws.this one should go without saying but it seems too many people seek perfect people so it makes me wonder if they think they are perfect themselves…
B. Brown said it well, add friends to number 1. but i would put it a bit differently, if you like his/her friends (‘like’ as in you get along with them and you might actually hook your buddies up with them) then he/she is a keeper. we are who we hang out with people.
knows who to go to for advice, knows whose advice to actually take seriously and is able to think for himself .
they put you first. they sacrifice for you.
more later.
“knows who to go to for advice, knows whose advice to actually take seriously and is able to think for himself .”
this is VITAL. good list.
YAYER- your two points are great! Definitely signs of a keeper. Perfect? WDDDA?
Like everyone else, I LOVE this post! I generally give Steve Harvey the *side-eye* in mostly everything that he says. However, there is one thing that I will agree with him on. A man is definitely a keeper if he is by your side in your time of need. If he is interested in helping you get through whatever you’re going through rather than “disappearing” until your crisis is over, he’s a keeper. I’m not specifically talking financial either; whatever the problem is. No woman wants to cry on her man’s shoulder and have him asking her “what are YOU gonna do”? I wanna hear “this is what WE’RE gonna do”. And it definitely works both ways. It’s easy to be with someone when times are good. You gotta ride with me through the bad times too because I’m gonna ride with you. ‘Nuff said!
cosign!
Amen to this.
My third year of college i was dating this ninja that i thot we were going to married and sh*t until my mum died and i didnt hear from him he just went silent didnt even call after i told him what i was going thro to check up on me. 3wks later am back in college and he shows at my room to see me like everything was ok. I break up with him there and then. Fast forward 5yrs later(4months ago) married and pregnant and asked me what happened between us! Really. . . ! A man who cant be bothered to be there when you are sad deserves to be alone.
i agree unless your bad times involve bad credit. then i’m like the dude in the commercial singing the song about how he should have gone to credit score dot com and checked ole girl’s stats first.
i cant ride or die thru bad credit.
“cant ride or die thru bad credit.”
Me either, you only get so long to get that ish together with me cuz if a mofo don’t have alot of money then your credit is everything & I’m not tryna be putting everything in my name. No Sir!
@ Panama and TheOpinionated1
Ross got “It’s Deeper than Rap” for me, it’s deeper than credit. That’s the tip of the iceberg. If you can’t spend less than you make, are breaking even–despite having a solid job / grind / hustle I’m Audi 5000. No excuses. Don’t hit me with the, “I’m doing contract work and it’s slow right now.” When you had work out the wazoo you should’ve been banking. Clean up during tax season?, where your scrilla during the 3rd Qtr?
“Supposed to be Big Willy, you’re actin a li’l silly maf*cka!”
#endrant
I’ve had discussions with women about 401ks and have been told, “why should I put all that money away: I want to enjoy it now, while I’m young. I might not even be alive to spend it, later.”
o_0
(I know that stare is patented on here, I defer, but I needed that right there).
As for keeper traits:
Open/honest/forthright communicator – I need you to keep it funky / 100 / gangsta / trill / real with me 25/9. If I can’t think of a topic that I’m unable to broach with you (some things are by their very nature going to be difficult, but as long as I’m willing to bring it up) that’ll get you a Harrier Jet’s worth of cool points.
A genuinely emapthetic soul – if you can feel my pain….nah…..for real…..not on some “poor baby” “woo woo” tip, but be able to truly feel my ups and downs (especially the downs) with me, that’ll get you your choice of prizes from the top tier of the World’s Finest Chocolate fund raiser catalog (y’all remember the impossibillionth section?!) all day.
Holla
The dude in those commercials is FUnny! Specially the old white lady bobbing her head to the song.
Oh, since I’m wirting good points to look at when looking at a potential keeper!
- A.D.
thats sad… my bff was a shopoholic… not cheap ish either ($700 shoes?) she worked, but she had some debt also. that all changed once her hubby came in. lol! Now they got a cute house in the burbs… *shrugs*
not saying ppl should be w/ folks that have terrible credit but… if they are willing to change then…
this post’s pic makes me happy. i love lions. and i love lamp.
seeing as how i havent seriously dated a man worth keeping in my adult life so im not sure i qualify to offer any “he’s a keeper” advice. BUT seeing as how thats never really stopped me before i’ll go ahead and throw out some potential keeper signs…
-makes a suitable spades partner. everybody knows a good spades partner is hard to find. so when you’ve found a mate who can also double as your spades partner who doesnt renig or cause you to want to murder them, thats a WIN WIN!
-lets you practice your [insert school/work related task here] on them. no one really likes to be the audience dummy for subject matter they dont even know how to spell. so if he/she listens to your mock talk on your dissertation on deciduous trees or your term paper on romanian maternity leave laws, they would likely sacrifice their time in just about anything else for you.
-(for ladies) dude shares the food off his plate with you. ive rarely seen this end well. and any man willing to let you take food off his plate, or better yet OFFERS you food from his plate, has reach the point where he wants to be kept by you.
-inquires about the specifics of your job/school work. i have friends who dont even know exactly what im in school for. and ive dated many men who didnt even bother to ask my general topic of study. btw: this annoys me. a potential mate who expresses a genuine interest in the minor details of your professional/scholastic life is genuinely into your whole person. and thats worth keeping, right?
Gotta cosign on the spades partna…that ish can be crucial if you play cards regularly…
As far as sharing food, I’ve never had a problem sharing food off my plate…didn’t realize that it was that big of a deal (guess I’ve always had a communal mindset)…good to know.
you, my friend, are a keeper!
As far as sharing food, I’ve never had a problem sharing food off my plate…didn’t realize that it was that big of a deal (guess I’ve always had a communal mindset)…good to know.
Exactly!
To further verify my (so far empirical) theory, are you on the skinnier side of the fence?
Very good criteria, sista Gem. Willingness to sacrifice is a good basis for keepism.
actually its not all really about sacrifice, though sacrifice is key from both ppl at the appropriate times. i think its more about a willingness to share and connect.
Cosign on everythang…especially them being into what you do or at least being considerate enough to ask.
But above all . I do love lamp and that is all that matters lol
lol yess!! #teamWElovelamp
@Gem (truly truly..)
i approve your sub-list to PJ’s list. kinda reminds me of our date last night.
hahaha that was a GREAT date!!! the perfect verse over a tight beat
@Gem of the ocean – 3 out of 4 on your list were about sacrifice. well the last one wasnt specifically bit in a roundabout way.
y’all dames really care about the sacrifice for you don’t you?
actually, only ONE was about sacrifice. that was #2. as ive said before, the others are about sharing and connecting. the food one isnt really about sacrifice. i know dudes who would rather order women their own plate of food or go get her whatever it is she wanted than give her whats on his own plate. same with his car radio–shes not allowed to touch.
Gem, you spoke to me on the Spades partner tip! I mean, that’s some chemistry like a muhfrickin Periodic Table right there.
lmao indeed!
Did this whole “share your food” thing come from The Brothers?
I just never got what the big deal was? Maybe that’s because I’m the girl lets you order then make my decision with the intention of biting off your plate #shrug
Did this whole “share your food” thing come from The Brothers?
NO. i didnt say “let you have the last piece of [whatever]“. im talking about SHARING food off of HIS plate. most men i know repeatedly vow to make a woman draw back nubs if she reaches into his plate for even the tiniest piece of food to taste. maybe its jsut the men i know but many of them just cant stand the idea of some one reaching into their plate to take their food, especially if she has her own food.
That reminds me of a story. I went on a double date with my boy once some years back. Food comes out, everyone’s eating, having a good time, his date casually reaches for his plate to try some of his food. It may have been a little too familiar because they had only dated a couple of times before then, but it’s a sign of comfort in my book. Anyway, when ol’ boy notices her reaching he slapped her hand Old Mammy style, like a reflex.
>cue 54 second long awkward moment<
Best part is, when we were at the game later on, he tried to call himself cuddling and kissing on her.
#nowinsinhercasa
I STILL clown him for that.
Holla
-(for ladies) dude shares the food off his plate with you. ive rarely seen this end well. and any man willing to let you take food off his plate, or better yet OFFERS you food from his plate, has reach the point where he wants to be kept by you.
I must have been dating really generous dudes then… I have never really encountered that as a problem… Then again, I had a tendency to date on the skinny side of the spectrum…. Might be a correlation? *puts on thinking hat*
While I totally agree with number 6 (supports you always), I also want someone to be real with me and tell me, yes you do look fat in that. I’m not one of those “I love the way you lie” girls who wants a guy to blindly support me all the way to failure because he didn’t want to hurt my feelings!
@Lizzy – you are in the minority. i’ve had a chick tell me straight to my face that i shoud like to her more to make her feel better.
so i told her she was attractive.
hey, she wasn’t my girlfriend.
LOL, I can take being in the minority. But that’s what distinguishes a “keeper” from every other person.
Lizzy- I’m with you. The truth might hurt…but I despise lies.
Co-sign that, just be honest and the lil hurt feelings that may come will heal much quicker than if I found out you’re trying to pacify me. Man up buddy and be real!
“6. They support you even when you aren’t sure about your own sh*t”
^THIS. I agree with everything said but THIS is so big for me.
This has been said many times before but when I can just sit in a room and chill with you. We don’t have to say much, we don’t have to do anything . . . just chill. And I can think of nothing better to do than that. All I want to do at that moment is just be in your presence and that’s all you want to do. You’re a keeper.
@BSQUARED86
you’re beautiful.
@BSQUARED86, “Yaey-Yaey”!
‘Cause many times you womenz, even the ones we really love, be wanting to talk too much.
@cek11
really?for some reason i tend to date guys who simply cannot shut the f*ck up, even and esp while watching a movie…and this p*sses me off because i’m quiet and reserved…
@ YAYER
Dang….so it’s not just me?!
I don’t want to hear a word during the movie. It’s like I’m trying to go into sensory deprivation with the screen and the speakers being the only stimuli: no talking. Funny thing is as much as I hate to be spoken to, the only thing I hate more is going by myself. #conundrum
Streaming HD bootlegs have been a godsend.
I feel lighter.
That’s the primary reason why I go to the movies most of the time ALONE… on sunday mornings or Tuesday evenings… Lol. I do not like people intruding on my movie enjoying time with unrelated blabber and small talk. Lol.
Thank God The Dude is worst than me when it comes to that.
@Yayer; @cek11
That’s the thing, I talk a lot. I always have something to say, lol. That’s why this is so important to me. If I can’t find anything to talk about and I’m not bored with you, lol, then you’re a keeper.
@B|_| <–thats my attempt at a square. lol
i love this addtion – just being able to be.
*sigh.
I like that kinda-sorta-square! lol.
i have a sneaking suspicion that you just remixed ll cool j’s “i need love”, troop’s/jackson 5′s “all i do is think of you” and guy’s “let’s chill” into that one comment.
LMAO that was not my intention but my subconcious knows good music so . . . I’ll take it.
i agree with all your points, esp the last 2!
i mean if someone is really interested in something they want to know everything about it right? even the minute details. but if they are just ‘passing by’ they don’t want to know all that…
^^this was a reply to Gem of the Ocean^^
I should really be asleep right now. I have to be at work in t minus 6 hours. But I read this and I had to comment. My girl is a keeper. For reals My mom likes her and she don’t like nobody. My grandma asked me whe I was going to bring her back for a visit. My cousin’s wife wants us to move next door so her and my girl can be shopping buddies.
I’ll tell you though how I knew for sure she was the one ( not the prototype either but the real deal Holyfield). We were stranded in laguardia airport together for 36 hours. No showers. No bags. Just each other and crappy buddy passes. And it was actually kinda pleasant. Neither of us got stressed (completely ). We were able to laugh about the situation while we were in the situation. And even though we were slightly delirious we still took time to think about each other and do little things lime plug in each others cell phones.
I’m not suggesting that anyone spend a day and a half in a he’ll hole airport to determine if things are for real BUT I’ll be goddam if I didn’t love the young Claire Huxtable just a little bit more by the time we got home and got some sleep.
Yep. I’m sprung. And softer than wet charmin ultra. Wet bread.
Awwwww! May more VSB’s worldwide have the certainty that you have. For real!
Aw…it’s cool that you’re sprung, this is sweet. TIA
most definitely when “auxiliary/secondary” family members like aunts and cousins start asking where your other half is .. you know you got a keeper.
& I’ve also been in a stressful situation in LGA. I think stinky hell hole airports might just be a good relationship stress test.
@Broadway
i. dislike. LGA. with an extreme passion. so kudos for surviving and not getting all jetblue flight attendant on people. lol.
i’m gonna concur. when you can travel thru the hell of airportdelayism with somebody and still be happy about it after the fact, that person might be a keeper.
You might be a 3, but you’re at least a 7 in my book. I wouldn’t mind getting delayed with you.
LOL!
lol…beeeeeeeeeehave!
I’m seriously in e-love with you, lol. Lets get e-married and have little internet babies.
**FYI: Your girl is definitely NOT a keeper if she utters the phrase “internet babies”.
I’m still delirious from last night’s karaoke.
“I’m seriously in e-love with you, lol. Lets get e-married and have little internet babies.”
No.
Why do you hate love? LOL.
“Why do you hate love? LOL.”
*miss t-lee that’s what’s up head nod*
LOL, well-played. I like you, KitKat. Always have. But see, I said ‘no’ not because I hate love in general…it’s just…well…
-_-
*takes off earrings*
Aw! This comment gave me the feeling of a plate of french fries with hot sauce.
In other words, it made me smile.
@Broadway,
Thanks for sharing this! Beautiful!
@ Broadway
“I typed a text to this girl I used to see….”
He chose he-e-errrrrr
>cue horns
Awesome and all the best to y’all
Holla
LOVE IT!!!!
And there is not better test of love/keeper than vacation gone wrong… *LA – October 2009*… Lol.
I’ll add a few….
~She has her own interests, hobbies, and friends. No one wants to date someone who’s too clingy or doesn’t have a life outside of the relationship. I like a woman who has her own things going on…maybe she likes to do interior design in her spare time, or she sings or teaches dance to kids, etc. If I’m dating her, I want to be part of her life, not the focus of her life….that’s too much responsibility.
~Is able to see the trees past the forest. A woman who has the ability to see/recognize the silver lining of a bad situation is a true keeper. Better yet, if she can maintain her sense of humor even in the midst of trials & tribulations , that’s a rare thing indeed (refer to Broadway’s ex. above)
~Stays w/ you when you’re sick. It’s one thing to call someone to check on them when they’re sick….it’s another to stay with/nurse someone back to health…shows a sincere commitment to a person’s well-being.
~If she’s a trained dancer (I like dancers, man…they lithe and sh#t)
Dancers. Are. Keepers! Yes. Ditto errthing else too, DG.
i notarize your whole message.. matter of fact, you prolly stole my comment.. well, except about the dancers part.. well nah, i’d like a dancer too (but in a different way.. some dancehall to my ballet)
i once broke up with someone because he was too clingy.. i was like, “Johnny, don’t yo momma MISS YOU!”
my ex had this tendency too… it’s exhausting!
Great minds think alike…
Clingy folks really are exhausting, tho…it’s like they don’t know how to function w/out you around. Personal space and quality time alone are necessary even within a relationship, but a lot of folks don’t always recognize that. That’s why it’s important to maintain your own set of interests and friends outside of your SO.
i too would appreciate a man with the 1st 3 qualities.
“She has her own interests, hobbies, and friends. No one wants to date someone who’s too clingy or doesn’t have a life outside of the relationship. I like a woman who has her own things going on…maybe she likes to do interior design in her spare time, or she sings or teaches dance to kids, etc. If I’m dating her, I want to be part of her life, not the focus of her life….that’s too much responsibility.”
Take out she and put in He. This is sooo important to me. I’m not the girl that needs to be around people all the time. You know that saying “absence makes the heart grow fonder.” That. right. there. Have your own interests and hobbies or friends or something. I don’t ever want to be someone’s everything. Thats a selfish assignment to give someone and like you said DG, that’s too much responsibility.
A sign a man is a keeper: he tells people about your personality traits (funny, athletic, likes sports, etc) as opposed to describing you as the hired help (a great cook, cleans, watches your 17 kids names &, etc)
*named &
Welllllll…Obviouslyyyyy…Panama got this list right! I just started dating this guy and I will see how he stacks up to this list. I’m hopeful. But I’ont know if I’m going to put him on to VSB. This is my spot!
lol… did you jsut give us the underground rapper treatment when folks only like them if they can keep something to their self and hate them when everybody else gets up on game.
I just told him about the blog post and hesitated when he asked “which blog is this?” But I told him–Viva la VSB!
So that means I’m a keeper right?
Co-sign on the OutKast comment.
If a chick said “yeah my favourite albums are Aquemini & Atliens” I would be ON HER!!
They help aleviate stress not add to it. Then again they may add stress but it’s the good stress like I’m all stressed oun I got to have really good sex w/my baby tonight for like 3-syiiiit they been feeling frisky lately 4 minutes tonight. Oh my God I’m so stressed.
You can take trips with them and still like them when you get home.
and not kick them out of your car in the middle of the I-95.
Word to the wise. Vacations with S/Os are the best way to gauge relationship strengths… throw in a tropical climate or some other crazxy challenge on the trip and you are good.
I used to judge the longevity of my relationship with a guy if we could “potentially” make it on the Amazing Race… Many a dude got bumped.
You won’t find Kool-Aid in my frigidaire, so……
Signs he’s a keeper
1. He hates Michigan athletics, and wouldn’t be caught dead in maize(Maize? really UM?) and blue.
2. He let’s you have the last piece or sip of .
This should say…
2. He let’s you have the last piece or sip of your favorite yummy food or beverage item.
giving you the last chicken wing…aka Morris Chestnut. Keeper!
according to your list, i am not a keeper.
Go Blue!
Gosh darnit, PJ! Not only are you stingy, but you have bad taste in college athletics. And, I would have overlooked your 3-ness, but with this new knowledge, I just, I just can’t.
This makes me sad.
I LOVE how you said frigidaire, NIA. Reminds me of my Grandma.
GO BLUE!
GO BLUE!
thatisall
yeah yeah yeah… get it all out now.
See ya 11/27….
Signs that she is a keeper.
1. She is willing to inconvenience herself or go out of her way to help you out.
I’ve dealt with a few chics that will look out for you at their convenience. They will expect you to sacrifice or go out of their way for you but always have an excuse when you need them. If you ask them to do something which will inconvenience them they give a lame excuse.
2. Has the ability to see the big picture.
i.e. If I spent 5 hours fixing your car when it’s 90 degrees outside and want to go out that night I should get a pass. Yes, I understand that you want to lay on top of me and put me in a sleeper hold and not move for 6 hours tonight while we watch DVDs. But I want to hang with my team. And I did spend 5 hours fixing your car in the heat for free. I even bought the parts.
3. Has her own hobbies and life outside of you.
This has been thoroughly discussed here.
4. She is socially and politically aware.
You don’t have to be Angela Davis or Katrina Vanden Heuvel but when I want to discuss colonialism, 3rd world politics, corporatism, etc. I want somebody that can have an informed conversation and also school me on things I don’t know.
5. Makes an effort to know you and find out what makes you tick
If she makes an honest effort to find out what you like, why you do certain things, and how you became the person you are she is a keeper.
6. She can cook.
If she can throw down in the kitchen a brother doesn’t feel so pressed to load up on take-home plates at cookouts and on holidays. I also wouldn’t be constantly subjected to frozen vegetables. Bachelor life sucks sometimes.
7. Has thorough knowledge and a deep love of hip-hop
If she can appreciate Ice Cube’s “Death Certificate”, argue with me about which Jay-Z is better pre or post “Hard Knock Life”, and is familiar with Dilla, Alchemist, and Xtra-P she is a keeper. I know this one is a stretch. Lol. VSB is the only place where women know about this.
@Humble One
“VSB is the only place where women know about this”
that’s why the VSB bbq MUST happen. lol. Think of all the VSCs (Very Smart Connections) that would happen!!
@Keisha Brown
If they ever have this VSB BBQ us Sub3′s will finally be seen in the flesh. Maybe then y’all will believe that 1.5s and 1.27s comment here.
@HumbleOne
well..since most of us like your online personas..that accounts for at least 2.34 of your total score. Add that to your 1.27 and you have 3.61! Bonus points if your e-personalities match your actual ones and if you dont look like any of Jai’s avis. It aint that hard! lol.
Me likey…I think I fit just about every one of those but I know that I’m a keeper…yea I said it! LOL
I love #1 and #4. I hate “fake” helpers. The ones who make it seem like they’re helping you but it’s really a “since i was there” sort of thing. The ones who go out of their way show how much they care for you. #4 is just plain fact because there is more to life than just text books and you and me…i want someone to share my passion for knowing the world around me.
@Humble_One
1-6, I’m with you. Especially # 5. That is crucial for me. I dealt with this one girl who really didnt inquire much about me(beyond the superficial), and who really didnt want to relinquish any information about herself(beyond the superficial). Yet she remains puzzled as to why I refused to wife her up.
How can I, and why would I entertain the thought of solidifying a relationship with someone who is satisfied with wading in shallow waters?
I require depth in my relationships. I need to know who I am wifing up, and conversely, they need to know me as well. Knowledge of one another(good & bad) builds trust and strengthens the bond in the relationship. You can’t truely be loyal and feel connected to someone you don’t really know.
My #7 would be, has a thorough knowledge and deep love for music that is NOT played on the radio and in clubs. I can’t fcuk with commercial music. A keeper for me has to have tastes that stretch beyond whats currently ‘hot’.
My trapper keeper of choice was the Mead Five Star Notebook. 1993…6th grade…we were the picture perfect image of organization, we were inseparable, that is until someone decided to jack it off of my desk while I was at lunch. My heart dropped a bit when I realized I was got. Moms didn’t replace it either, those jawns were $10. Folders with pockets, for me for the rest of the year
(
Single men find camaraderie amongst their bachelor friends. Knowing one of your homeboys is going to be locked down in a relationship means no more trips to Rio (no west coast productions, well maybe), no more attending every Falcons home game, and even no more having a wing man to keep the ugly friend company while you get at her girl. All that being said, if one of your good friends is like “ninja you better not eff it up with this girl”, she’s probably a keeper.
That was supposed to be a sad face at the end of that first paragraph.
@Tjohn
“Ninja you better not eff it up with this girl”. LOL.
That reminds me of when i first met my ex’s boys. They would do NFL at his boys house, and since I love the sport, I was allowed to come along. Had to state my allegiance to the team and prove it of course. Im sure my boobies helped too. By the end, his boy (dead serious) said: “if you mess this up, and she breaks up with you, we’re kicking you out of the posse.”
Once the breakup happened, the boys wanted me to still come around. I was friends with one of the girls, so attended a bbq. You would have thought I was a damn celebrity when they arrived and saw me there. That was the last event I attended. Just too wierd. Now that I was off the market, they weren’t shy about overtly ogling/flirting with me. smh.
Now that I was off the market, they weren’t shy about overtly ogling/flirting with me. smh
I question the friendships…
All that being said, if one of your good friends is like “ninja you better not eff it up with this girl”, she’s probably a keeper.
real talk.
Loving all the VSB comments today!
they love you too boo.
so this post is GREAT. guess i’ll go vote in the BWAs now. lol. y’all have won me ovaaa.
i’d pick a poignant number, but i think the whole list is pretty vital. this statement though…
“If they shut down and sulk all day. You’re in for a f*cked up life. If they throw things, somebody’s going to jail. If they take a minute to be pissy or worried but then focus on solutions and positivity….KEEP THEM.”
A to the Men, P to the Jay!
i’m big on a partner being supportive because i’m a writer, and that means long hours staring at a computer screen. so when i create something and a man actually takes time to not only read but give me feedback and encouragement even if it isn’t his cup of tea… double bonus points and brownies and all things good.
i was with someone for 6 years who never read one iota of even a sentence i wrote. smh. matter of fact, my last two bfs never read a dang thing i wrote. bastards. lol. you’re right, women suck at picking men. i’m awesome at picking shoes and clothes though. lol.
what else makes a man a keeper… hmmm
he thinks of me throughout the day and let’s me know so… via text, email, IM, etc… if he’s too busy to take five seconds to send a text… no bueno.
he allows me to listen to my 2520 music without thinking i’m trying to commit a 187 on him.
he thinks my corniness is endearing.
my dad and brother like him. well… my dad’s judgment has been off before…lol so i will say my dad and brother don’t actively DISlike him.
he inspires me to be the higher me.
i learn new ish from him.
he will try my new dishes just because i made them. i usually have to cook two separate meals because i like trying out different vegetarian meals… so if he is open-minded about trying… muy bueno.
there’s more but that’s enough. toodles
@muze
LMAO @ picking shoes and clothes.
i’m glad you didnt stay with the dudes that didnt read your writing. if that’s a part of you – no way should settle for someone who doesn’t show interest. why does brown sugar keep re-playing in my head while reading this post?? lol.
why does brown sugar keep re-playing in my head while reading this post?? lol.
That’s exactly the scene I pictured. The basket ball court and his answer: “It was good”… Lol!
I love random “i’m thinking of you” texts filled with naughties. It warms up my day.
Ditto! With or without naughties is fine
Good list, Muze!
c/s!
now, me being a writer myself i have to ask you, why on earth were you with some d-bag (for 6 yrs) who wouldn’t even read your stuff?
Hmmm?
girl no, don’t…
“i was with someone for 6 years who never read one iota of even a sentence i wrote. smh.”
OK, this pissed me off on behalf of you. Reminded me of Brown Sugar (ya’ll watched that last night? admit it, I did too…and loved it for the umpteenth time.) when Kelby didn’t read none of Sidney’s articles and tried to play it off with the “I loved everything about it” line when she asked his opinion of it. He still foine, tho.
Texts and e-mails are great. Bonus points if they are kind of pervy.
2520 music. When they first hear you listening to something “atypical” and the moment you realize they are going to roll with you and the Stones is priceless.
VSB P aka KING JACKSON aka THE ARSONIST aka VITAMIN P aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3
A FEW NEW NICKNAMES ON DECK I SEE….go head PJ LOL
you have no idea how many nicknames i truly have for myself.
LOL I’m sure….Well I got a few new ones for ya.
VSB P aka KING JACKSON aka THE ARSONIST aka VITAMIN P aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3 aka MR CAT LOVER NO PUN INTENDED aka I’M NOT REALLY A THREE I JUST SAY THAT ISH ALL THE TIME
LOL…Yea
you forgot King Beef.
^^^ new name for PJ is KING BEEF yall
Can’t leave that one off!!! I need someone to vouch for you on that one though partna
LOL
they talk about tomorrow. and when i mean talk about it, i mean they speak aspirationally about what the future holds. i can’t stand no man taht wakes up mad that it’s tomorrow.
co-sign.
if they cant evolve and evolve with you.. the anti-keeper. run, do not walk, to the nearest exist. tastes changes, interests come and go. i refuse to stagnate and hope to keep getting better. as i hope my S.O. does too. if the expectation of change scares you. its really not gonna work out, cuz that’s all life does.
co-sign this entire post, good stuff. I’ll also add that he must appreciate my sense of humor because that’s a major part of me. Any guy that won’t laugh with me and make me laugh on occasions is definitely NOT a keeper in my book.
Also, he is a keeper if he puts up with my crazy family, lol. This definitely means that he must definitely talk/play sports.
Cosign! I have a crazy sense of humor. A man has to appreciate it.
^ AND play spades.
@PJ
i like this post.
that is all.
***Side note*** I hate the Internet for making me aware of things called Brian Pumper, Chippie D, and Antoine Dodson #snatchinupyopeeples
Signs that they of keepers.
-Random little things that will make you strangely content- The most stunning vision of Miss Moneypenny I ever saw involved her walking through my door holding a 22 of Bud Light and bag of hot pork skins. Yes, I’m that country.
-She knows when to leave you alone even though it goes against every fiber of her being. – If I’m sick the fact that I wish to be left alone with the remote and my meds.
-We don’t share any of the same hobbies.- For some strange reason I love this. She couldn’t give a damn about the X-Men, The Gamecocks, Bama, or MMA and I love her for it.
We read each other’s emotions. She is full of emotion and I emote like 50 Cent’s character in Get Rich or Die Trying. However we know when to stop pushing and issue with each other.
you know, i dont know if this says more about her or the internet in general, but Chippy D has lost all steam. like nobody gives a sh*t anymore, yet antoine dodson is the #25 song iTunes or something. loll
he has more staying power than a chick in pr0n. ruminate on that.
I actually listened to Chippy D on Rickey Smiley this morning. (Two sins that I need to apologize for.) and I wouldn’t be shocked if she isn’t hitting the pipe (The crack one. Not the meat one.) soon. Morpheus’ little girls sounds like kind of an idiot version of Sasha Grey.
Any advice other than suicide to help me stop thinking about the phrase “Oh and It’s shaved” arbitrarily during the day?
(in Rickey Smiley voice)…you lyin’ to me!
LOL…true..she is a definite air brain (I was done when they kept talking about the hot dog on the back cover LOL).
@Jai
Montana had a “frank” in her mouth.
walking through my door holding a 22 of Bud Light and bag of hot pork skins.
D@mn, you really do have a keeper, folk.
*I’m down w/ you on some X-Men and MMA, but my SEC allegiance is firmly planted in Athens.
@DG
Bulldogs huh? As long as you don’t pull for Clemson we’re cool Hoss.
And yes she’s a keeper!
*shots fired*, my blood runneth orange.
ugh SC and Bama….
Whooooo PIG SOIEE! (yeah you probably have to be from Arkansas to actually care about the Hogs)…
“yeah you probably have to be from Arkansas to actually care about the Hogs)…”
I think you’re right about that. I’ve only met two Hogs fans in my life and they were both Arkansans or Arkansawyers. (Not sure which is correct.)
Panama’s reasons are def for a man regarding a woman. I agree with everything on the list. However sometimes mom may not like you because she has an incest filled fantasy to keep her son single forever so he can be her man instead. Excuse me, I’ve seen it happen.
Since I LOVE love and believe in all that ish, I’d like to add some:
1) I trust you
I know they say never to put your trust in anyone but you just have to if you’re going to give love a chance. I love a man I can feel safe around and can sleep in the passenger seat not fearing he’s driving me to the “spot”. Leave my purse with him while I go to the bathroom. That sort of thing.
2) He genuinely cares about my happiness.
I say a man loves you when it hurts him to see you unhappy in the slightest bit. A guy who will crush the skull of anyone who tries to hurt you is sexy. He goes with you to your friends party even though he hates her because it makes you happy.
3) He’s honest
This goes without saying
4) I can be myself around him
Obviously I’m um…unique and it takes a special man full of energy to be with me. Well, not really but I just love a man that I can be myself around. My fam and friends love him, I can take him to office parties, etc. Just a well rounded guy.
5) He has my back.
We need to be a unified front. If you want to check me in private, that’s fine just as long as it involved a paddle, feathers and icy hotr. Huh? Excuse me. I think it’s a woman’s duty to support her man. We have to be a team.
6)Committment
Like duh
4) I can be myself around him
This is big for me. It’s the worse feeling being around someone you can’t be yourself with.
Oh #1 is golden too. True story, I dated a guy who tried to rob me. Scarred. 4. life. So yes, if I trust you enough to leave my purse with you, you’re a keeper…
…………”True story, I dated a guy who tried to rob me. Scarred. 4. life.”
@ T….. WOW!!! No other comment; just WOW!!!!!!!
Dang T! That’s crazy. I’ve been robbed once and I hate that feeling. You just wanna call a hitman or something. I’m sure that made it tough for the men that followed. I wouldn’t trust anyone after that.
My personal list that says to me that HE is a keeper.
1) My Family & Friends Like Him- I cannot be with a guy that my family doesn’t vibe with…they are too important to me to have to be uncomfortable when me and the boo come over on Xmas. This is a must!!
2) He Actually Really Likes My Personality-If he thinks that my goofiness is funny then that off top is a win because I’m super crazy, goofy, & corny sometimes & I need a dude that can roll with me and enjoy the ride.
3) He Is Funny & I Have Fun When I’m Around Him-I love when a guy is funny…if he can make me laugh then he may just be doing it for life & If I can be around you doing basically nothing like watching youtube vids all day and still enjoy myself, then you may JUST be a keeper.
4) He Is Smart-I cannot stand a dumb guy. He has to be street as well as book smart. Doesn’t have to be a genius by any means but he can’t be asking me what everything means or how to do this or that like he’s a child. Turnoff!
5) He Is Concerned Abt My Thoughts, Feeling, & Opinions-If I had a bad day at work and mention it & he just sits there like I didn’t tell him anything then that is a sign that you don’t give a flying f**k abt me! I have to know that you are interested in me as a whole before you can be a keeper in my eyes.
I know I’m leaving a few off but these are the ones I could think of right now.
So, no one’s gonna list The
MarioSonny Test from “A Bronx Tale?”I haven’t seen that movie in soooo long. That’s the one with Kerry Washington when she had a latin parent right?
no. it’s not. like at all. like not even close. as in kerry washington wasn’t even in this movie. did you just say all black people look alike?
taral hicks was the black chick in this movie.
Oops LOL…well I wonder what the heck am I thinking abt then. IDK what the movie is called that I was thinking abt but I remember that Kerry was a high schooler and she was in the band & got preggers. It was a good movie LOL *shrugs*
I wiki’d it. The movie I am talking about is called “Our Song.” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Our_Song_(film)
How I confused it with that other movie…IDK LOL
Um….no ma’am, That’s not a Bronx Tale…lol. @Cheekie…you’s a fool for that one.
O_O
I vote TheOpinionated1′s comment as the best unintentionally funny comment of the day.
LOL Thanks Cheekie (I guess) *bowing*
It’s so wrong it’s funny!
@Curly Top
Right! LMAO *logs off of VSB for the day*
The Sonny Test is the truth. It’s definitely part of my dating rubric. You don’t even have to lean over, I have automatic locks just push the button.
Prior to that movie coming out I always leaned over to open the door. I did it as a child for my father when he opened my door. It was just natural. Still is.
1. 9 times out of 10 they know you won’t look like that in the morning.
2. They put up with your annoying dog.
3. They put up with your annoying friends.
4. They eat your cooking, even if it sucks.
Yah here dat VSB! Keep ME!
My list that she’s a keeper:
1) She’s honest.
-End-
Being completely honest cause more problems than it solves. Sometimes you have to massage feelings by operating in that grey area between truth and fiction. For me tact is more important.
I stand by my list.
Yeah as much as women claim to want an honest man, men appreciate honesty far more than women. Knowing how to…um…present the truth in a favorable manner is a useful trait in intimate relationships…
@Courtney
i call phooey on that one.
example: bad chex. because men aren’t trying to hear that you aren’t good in bed, or that their superhero duo aint up to standard or fulfillment. hell. early on in my chexual experiences, i thought i’d keep it hot and spicy by getting a kama sutra book, went through it and checked off the positions i’d like to try. he pretty much disregarded it and for a long time thereafter, never spoke up in that regard (usually to my detriment).
while i recognize (since vsb has covered as much) that men can have bad chexual experiences..not even comparable for a woman. y’all need a tight warm spot for (insert # of seconds/minutes here). we need a lil bit more. it’s how we’re built. dont judge us.
so moral of the story..everyone wants to know the truth, presented as nicely as possible as to not get throat punches or shins kicked. everyone has ego and pride.
Wait that’s the only requirement? o_O Senor SoBo you sure you don’t wanna revise this list a bit?
@Yeah…So
It is the most important requirement and the only requirement where no compromise shall be made.
I share a similar comprehensive list of the ‘ keeper attributes’ aforementioned upthread by most respondents. However, if you really analyze these lists from a practical level, these attributes are all subject to varying degrees of compromise depending on the other attributes the individual of interest posesses.
For example, I may ideally want someone with an educational/career level on par with or exceeding my own. However, if the person of interest has not attained the same level of success, but demonstrates self sufficiency, great companionship, growth potential, support of my endeavors, and treats me wonderfully, I may be willing to compromise on that ‘keeper attribute’.
The point is, no one is truely steadfast on their list when ALL attributes the individual embodies are taken into consideration.
That is unless, its honesty. This is thee sole important character trait that will make or break the ‘keeper’ potential of an individual and the one least, if ever, that is compromised on…unless one is a simp or a silly broad.
I stand by my list.
No, I get honesty being a good foundation, I just thought you may wanna add some stuff like being a good communicator… I kinda feel these two would need to go hand-and-hand for either to work.
Well you just keep on standing lol
I use to get a new Trapper Keeper every new school year. Trapper keeper never lasted the school year. My Trapper Keeper would be beat by the end of the year. I’m surprised at all the people saying they had one in the mid 90s. I’m dating myself but I had a Trapper Keepers in elementary school in the mid 80s to early 90s. Back when they first came out they were plain with no designs or pictures on them.
They are able to handle stressful situations without making everybody around them worse.
This is a big keeper. I’ve seen quite a few people fold when life gets rough or hard. You get a moment to self loathe but then you have to KIM. Bringing your misery on others is one of the greatest displays of bitchassness. You aren’t happy so you want to make everyone else unhappy. You want the whole world to stop because things aren’t going right for you. And 9 times out of 10 you caused your own problems. GTFOH
Man, I used to love my Trapper Keeper too. I forget what mine looked like.
I just know I used to love the velcro sound when opening and closing that muthaf*cka. It made me felt madd sophisticated like I was protecting important documents and forms in the different compartments, when all that was in there were stickers and pencils. It was like an attache’ case for kids.
It made me feel proud when the teacher asked the class for homework, and you would hear the ripping velcro sound as I opened up my trapper keeper. That sound let everyone know I DID my homework.
But I didnt stop there. While the other kids had the plain solid color folders, I tricked out my Trapper Keeper with cool folders that had those funky designs and patterns.
And don’t let me get started on the 5 subject notebooks now. A 5 subject notebook and a Trapper Keeper? What?! No one was messing with my organization.
“Man, I used to love my Trapper Keeper too. I forget what mine looked like.”
Well, then, you didn’t love it that much.
#childhoodfail
Yes, Mead (the maker of all these epic school supplies) was the ‘ish! I still get excited over school supplies and stationary. Whut! Plus, when I got to be a tween I got into Lisa Frank, lol!
I want to go buy a marble composition notebook now.
i remember the plain ones.. I had a blue one.. then it got fancy the next year and had an irridescent shine…
you couldn’t tell me ANYTHIN!!
The ability to take a joke is very important to me.
Intimate knowledge of Seinfeld is a shallow criteria, but I often make allusions to the show during casual conversation.
A commitment to fitness is a requirement for long-term relationships. I view a person letting themselves go as a sign of disrespect. As a G, I do not handle disrespect well.
Making good biscuits will get you into my good graces. If I were Hoyt Fortenberry I would have ended my relationship with Jessica after new shawty’s biscuits hit my tongue area.
Funny you mentioned this
Intimate knowledge of Seinfeld is a shallow criteria, but I often make allusions to the show during casual conversation.
I have a cousin who disowned me because I hate Seinfield.
*E-disowns you as well*
The show is pure fishscale level genius.
The only show I probably can casually quote and incorporate into conversation without hesitation more than Seinfeld is Family Guy. However after Michael Richards’ tirade my interests dissipated. I know him being a card carrying member of the Mel Gibson Society of Closeted Racists doesn’t make the show any less genius but I feel some type of way when watching the reruns…couple that with Seinfeld defending Richards’ antics and serving as his character witness to the media I just can’t anymore. Whenever Cosmo comes into a scene I just hear “Ninja!, Ninja!”.
im with you T.. i dont get Seinfeld.
*kanyeshrugs.
Mr. Fortenberry is sprung on virgin vampire poon. He’s not thinking abourt biscuits.
It will be forever tight. That makes Jessica into a keeper as well. After she gets her speed training from Bill down pat she will be an absolute force to be reckoned with in the sack.
It’s good to see Bill actually teaching Jessica how to be a vamp. Mr. Compton was headed toward the Scott Summers school of parenthood for awhile there.
Scott taught Cable all of his warrior skills before he sent him to the future. He was not as horrible considering the circumstances.
He did teach Nathan to be a great warrior. However he taught him to be a raging asshat also. Funny he hasn’t bothered to check on how Rachel is doing in space.
Isn’t Rachel from another time stream and technically not this daughter. I just feel that Scott is not the worst comic book parent Charles Xavier, Magneto, and Batman are much worse.
Rachel is from another time stream but genetically his kid just like Nate Grey is from another time stream but is genetically identical to Cable.
He’s not the worst but he’s not good. Bruce Wayne is borderline insane. Charles Xavier and Magneto are ideolouge blow hards so Legion, Wanda, and Pietro were all going to be screwed by default.
They make Wolverine seem like a good father to X-23. Daken is well just evil.
I appreciate the True Blood reference! Homegirl brought biscuits AND cleaned. I can’t wait until Sunday. Carry on.
All the side stories of Sam, Lafayette, and Jason seem to be finally coming together into something epic. Plus I am certain the new waitress is a witch.
Yeah! She looks creepy!…we’ll see.
She is a witch. if they follow the storyline of the books…but I’m sure they will switch it up a bit as they have with all the other characters.
Sam Merlotte will hire any body. One vampire, a Lafayette Reynolds, whatever the hell Sookie is, Terry’s PTSD having a**, another shifter, and who knows what else.
The food at Merlotte’s must be good.
Your list rocks. (Especially the part about the biscuits.)
Another sign that a person is a potential keeper is when their future plans and major decisions include you. I don’t mean every decision has to be made by committee but you and your thoughts are considered in the making of that decision.Por ejemplo, you’ve been dating for 2 years and she gets a job offer in LA and you both live in Atlanta…and before she takes/forsakes it, ya’ll have a relationship summit to determine if this is the end or a new beginning as opposed to a “Guess what baby? I’m moving at the end of the month.”
Cosign squared.
*nods head.
I don’t know about this one… unless we know for sure that we are a “we” going forward as a “we”… My personal decisions kinda remain mine…
If we’ve never talked of the “future”… If you didn’t know I was applying for a job in LA… then I don’t think deciding to go to LA is that big a deal…
Reading through the comments, thinking of a few more signs…
1) Genuinely concerned about me/my safety. I guess that kinda goes without saying, but I DO know some folks who act like they just don’t give a damn. If I’m dating a guy and I go out of town, I would hope I’d get a call making sure I made it to my destination safely or if we go out & go our separate way at the end of the night, he should check and make sure I made it home. Simple things, but important in my eyes.
2) Respects the relationships I have with my family & friends. Don’t question why I call my mom everyday or why I have 3 hr conversations with my girls when one of them needs to talk. A smart person knows that it’s best to have those family/friends as their advocate. Those are the people who can be your biggest cheerleader, but if you cross them…different story. That’s not to say that fam/friends are going to dictate my relationship, but it would be advantageous to have a good relationship btwn them and my S/O. That type of jealousy is a sign of insecurity. Plus it’s just plain petty! (ie. My friend’s boyfriend [now husband] told her he didn’t want her hanging out w/single women. In my overanalysis of the situation, I concluded that he thought of us as a pack of heauxs strutting the streets trying to find a man. Really?! That was nothing but his insecurity shining through. That just didn’t sit right with me and STILL doesn’t.)
Agreed entirely with these addenda.
On #1 1) Genuinely concerned about me/my safety
Have y’all seen the ESPN clip of the guy who dodged the foul ball at the Astros-Braves game on Monday? If that’s not reason to dump someone, I don’t know what is. Eek!
On#2, my sisters are my best friends. My cousins are like my sisters. My family is extremely tight knit. If a guy can’t comprehend that, we are in serious trouble.
Solid and sweet list…I like.
How about this one:
Not only do you want to build sh*t, but you also just want to be better at everything – like budgeting and eating right and going to the gym and whatever else it is you do that could use improvement.
Because I like to share the things that go through my mind (even some things shouldn’t be shared), I had a thought. Like, if you call a good girl a Trapper Keeper, would you call a girl on some hosh*t a Clapper Keeper?
o_O
Signs that he’s a keeper:
1. He knows how to incorporate movie quotes into daily conversation seamlessly.
2. He can make me laugh until I piss myself. Once he does that even once, I’m his. Hopefully, said piss doesn’t turn him on or anything. ‘Cuz I ain’t into that mess.
3. He passes the Mama Cheekie Death Glare test.
Keeper signs:
1. You don’t actually care what ANYBODY thinks about him or her. Not your Momma, Daddy, baby Daddy, Jesus, jealous ass friends and family, coworkers or whatever. Any happy couple will have to keep the haters at arms length and people that are satisfied with their own damn lives aren’t usually the opinionated ones anyway.
2. The person makes you bend a little. Like you start to like things (at least a little) because they do. They expand your horizons. You find them doing the same.
3. If you were luke warm toward each other at first. Like: “they’re nice, but not all that. Not the best chemistry. Attractive but not sweatin them.” Then after a year (random time to get the KNOW them) they are the hottest person you’ve ever known. You’re blood boils when you hear their voice. You find each other’s nerdiness sexy…Keeper.
4. You can resolve conflict without felonies. Couples have to fight and move on. If you don’t you build up too much baggage and it will get the best of you.
5. If you are early 20′s on again off again friends with benefits and cheat with each other when your BS relationships go south or get boring and don’t even feel the slightest guilt or feel judgement towards each other…you may be a good couple but just too young to do anything about it.
Interesting list.
Interesting is the best way to put it…
Signs that he’s a keeper:
1. He looks at you in a way in which you can see how he feels about you. You know it when you see it.
2. Your father, brother, or homeboys will ask about him in a cool way or ask you to bring him with you.
3. He says what he means, and means what he says. His word is bond.
4. He knows love is a noun and a verb and has enough self-esteem and self-worth to accept the support, consideration and love you give him in return.
5. Talking about anything is enjoyable with him. Anything. Also, you can talk about anything with him. Comics, politics, music, pop culture, b.s., sports, food.
6. He loves music and hip hop in particular, and not only the commercial ‘ish. He knows underground, he knows what isn’t played on the radio. He can watch music documentaries with you, and ya’ll can talk about the musical connections and influence of hip hop, punk, reggae, gospel, and rock.
his word is bond.
word.
*terrorist fist bump
Girl you know if a man is into the same music and we can relate to it it’s a good sign because I love good music and because I come from a west Indian background if he loves reggae then everything is bless.
@Heymaymay..
i’d like to welcome you to the WIM!!
*licks off 2-finger gunshot salute inna di air!
@legitimate….#6. I order a lot of my music from London and when I was talking about this group called Bugz in the Attic and this dude (not the one im seeing now…le sigh) knew who I was talking about and even sung some of their songs definitely moved him up the ladder (he fell off for other reasons) and made my interest go up
@Jai,
Yes, it’s swoon worthy or atleast bonus point worthy. I saw a guy at the grocery store I was absolutely not interested in, but the fact that he had a “Bad Brains” t-shirt on made me want to say “hi” to him and acknowledge him.
7. If the two of you can see something, and give each other the same look and have non-verbal communication and be in tune. Ex1.See something, look at each other and give the “ain’t this some ‘ish” face. Ex2. See something, meet eyes and CTFU laughing. Ex3. See something, look at each other, and reach for each other. Lots of scenarios with this.
8. He’s one of the people you can’t wait to share news with. You can’t wait to tell him something that made you excited and get his response or feedback.
9. Reciprocity. He appreciates it and practices it.
10. Has no problem explaining something he loves to you when you inquire and show an interest in it. He wants to share his love of it with you.
Anybody else notice that the ads by google ads are for civil rights, women rights, and human rights.
i’m not saying that google doesnt read the posts or anything, but i have no mothereffin’ clue how those are the google ad joints for this post.
It was the Antoine Dodson reference. Everything he is fighting for? Is expressed in those Google ads.
this whole post was like deja’vu for me..
i wrote about #2 on Monday matter of fact..
I’m not gonna pander and say that I’m usually the calm one when sh*t gets hectic.. but I know what it’s like to be with someone that flips his lid over uncontrollable things. he made me feel like I’M the one that got the tire flat (on his car)
He’s a keeper if:
– He can give me some competition in Jeopardy.. or at least is willing to watch it and learn a thing or two..
– He understands my musical tastes..
I don’t listen to the radio (don’t even have one in my car), I need him to AT LEAST understand why I like Stephane Pompougnac, or the alternative music of the 90′s.. or why the 80′s was so durn wonderful… or old school hip-hop..
– Can be around me and not say a word..
If we can be at opposite ends of the sofa and not say a thing, you are a keeper..
– Is silly with me
I like jokes, stupid ones, smart ones, ones that climb on rocks. I want you to appreciate that, and be able to keep up..
– Can realize that sometimes the nurturer wants to be nurtured
Nuff said..
– Takes an interest. Muzeness said it, but I don’t think people understand how much this means.
I know someone that claims he likes me (really cares for me) and hasn’t read my blog. That’s the most basic thing, and it means so much to me.. How can YOU NOT read it and claim you care. Not only that, but several of the questions you’re asking me (or signals i’m giving) you’d already know because I wrote about it. my answer to everything he asks me, “I wrote about this, go read it” *Hangs up phone*
I’m sure there’s more… but I’m sick and it took me over 2 hours just to get this down..
Peace and Love..
–
-
Sounds like someone went too hard in the paint this weekend for her birthday…I’m just sayin…
*BTW, I’d whup your a$$ in some Jeopardy (I say this lovingly, of course…but yeah, I really would)
don’t even try it with that Jeopardy business.. they always say they can, then wanna change the channel by the time we come back from the 1st commercial break..
don’t challenge me sweetie.. chek yoself befoe ya wreck yaself..
(I had to)..
although if you did whup my a** in Jeopardy it would be a welcome change.. and give me a goal to aspire to..
and the thing that sucks is that i really didn’t do much for my birthday.. i cleaned a house, went to Sonic (FTW!) and got a drink (1) on south beach with Smart Fox Girl..
I’ve had this migraine since Monday… #FML!
that was a helluva drink though. It was like a bowl! But naw it was a pg night. lol I cosign your list: jeopardy is my ish and I’m a beast, being silly with me warms my heart, but your musical tastes…um..i love foreign exchange…but the bottom part of that cd had me giving my car stereo the side eye. Lmao.
Oh No You Di’NTLol.. ok.. please remember i made that CD for me.. LMAO!! so those songs “take me somewhere”
it was like a bowl.. who had to throw it out on the side of the street.. i just couldn’t deal with it anymore..
OH!! WHAT was the name that you called the ugly people when we were driving? i’ve been trying to remember it all week..!
“Let’s get it flappin!”
Lmao. It did tell me alot about you…i was like awwwww she so diverse! lol I had to throw it out, that drink was trying to kill me…and it’s boogawolfs. I stole it from someone on here. “We gotta get it flappin!” again.
LMAO!!! the minute I read “boogawolfs” I bust out!!
Oh my goodness!!
Yeah, yeah, yeah…mama say mama saa ma ma coo sa…a Jeopardy a$$ whoopin is waiting 4 you.
I was down in your neck of the woods this weekend. I was in S. Beach myself…may have seen you and SFG out and just didn’t realize it.
and THAT’S the rudest thing I’ve read all day!!
we met up with another commenter who was in town..
we were the ones that were fanning themselves.. it was hot, even for us! better yet, I was the one standing underneath the fan on the sidewalk..
WAIT A MINUTE!! weren’t you on here asking about places to take that “man trip” or something (if i remember correctly).. you picked Florida and ain’t say ish!?
that puts you at -2,000 before the game even starts…
You’re right. I’m sorry…I have no excuse…next time I will def. hit you all up before hand (cuz the chance to meet ya’ll at the oft-mentioned VSB BBQ looks pretty slim)
If ya’ll were standing on the corner somewhere, we prob did cross paths…me and my boy were down there all weekend…all up and down ocean drive. Now that I think about it, I hope I wasn’t one of the boogawolfs that ya’ll saw (SFG may have used my own term to describe me)…lol
and THAT’S the 2nd best thing I read today..
you DEFINITELY owe me a Jeopardy game now…
we were up and down Ocean on Saturday.. I probably fussed you out for not getting out of my way.. (that sounds about right..)
and YES! for being the point of origin for “boogawolfs..” C.L.A.S.S.I.C.!
Oh it was DG I got it from! But I’m not talking to him for coming down and not saying anything. I’ll speak to him when I recover from that let down. Can you tell DG for me? Thanks.
while i do love todays post like i love free lunch…
question to all..
how long do you generally give before establishing if said person is a keeper? some of these traits/attributes probably take a while to come out (you aren’t taking road trips, being stuck in airports within the 1st week of dating).
I’m not looking for a 90 day number persay, but more a general timeline. Im interested in seeing if men wait longer to call his girl a keeper before the ladies.
Girl after yesterday…NO MORE 90 DAY RULES!!! Lmao. I had major stones thrown at me. Let’s just say that you will know when you start to fall for them. It hits you. It’s not necessarily a time period but more like a strong feeling. I would say it helps to be able to determine the difference between lust and love. Btw, I was being lazy but edap for your comment on the difference between honesty upthread.
@sfg:
this aint the middle east. no stoning here. *glares and shakes menascing fist at those who dare mess wit my e-fam..
but yeah, i figure everything runs on ones own personal schedule, but i was guessing the dudes take longer to take..she’s a keeper than us females.
alas.
thanks for the e-dap!
good list though I would like to change the last bullet point.
I would rather the person be able to gently point out why the idea is not that great without making me feel bad. Now Thats a keeper!!!
I dont know aobut that family approval one…but then my hubbys family was not gung ho about me so I am definitely biased; though i do recognize that it is the optimal situation…
Signs He is a keeper (in no order):
1. My dad liking a guy I am dating has always been number 1. While I may be blind to some things about a person, my dad is not. He has known me longer than any man and so I think he knows me best. He also is a man and knows how men think. I trust he has my best interest in mind.
2. The cats. Yes the cats, because until they die, they will always be around. If the cats aren’t a fan, then he should keep it moving. Sadly the cats are charmed by being fed in the morning and throwing some balls every now and then.
3. If he can deal with my occasional out of nowhere mood swings, then he is DEFINITELY a keeper. it takes a lot to accept the negative personality traits someone has. It takes time, love and commitment to even try.
I don’t rely on my friends too much because they can be bias due to their own situation, likes and interests. While I would prefer that my friends like m y SO, it isn’t a must unless they have strong valid reasons (he’s a cheater, he’s gay..).
@Ivy
him being gay is a great reason to not like your boyfriend. lol.
Yes it is, but you’d be surprised how man women are dating men that are CLEARLY gay.
it hurts my heart…i want to tell them sometimes but don’t want to get throat punched.
and the more I think about it..
I think its a total myth that you need to be friends with the family.
It really has no bearings on a lot of things as long as the fam doesnt HATE you.
I have never been one to friend the family. I am respectful but i got my own mother and sisters I am looking for a relationship with you… not your family
Its worked to my benefit especially when it came to breaking them out of the “momma’s boy” syndrome
OH!
– His ability to remember the important things..
Not poo poo stuff like “my favorite color is midnight blue” etc.. but big things..
i tell everyone upfront not to stroke my hair while i’m asleep (bad experience) and what did my guy do? Yeah, that’s right.. he woke me up by stroking my hair, then got upset when i got upset.. #WDDDA
If a man doesn’t touch my food he is a kepper nah joking if a man respects his mother and the women in his family and would do anything for them
I believe all of the obvious ones have been stated, but I will still include my 3 cents…
Does not judge you by your past….if you had a fcuked up past that would cause others not to deal with your or deal with you with their guard up(if you were a cheater, azzhole,
felonused poor judgment, etc).Does not judge you by your family…maybe its just me, but my fam is dysfunctional as hell, but I luvem
Will be your ROCK whether your right or wrong, they got your back and when times get hard, they are right by your side
There for you when your sick…Im not just talking heating up some soup when your sick, but rubbing your back while your kissing the porcelain toilet and they help clean that stuff up. Will take you to the hospital AND stay with you.
You can be yourself around them (good and bad)…from being able to play solitaire or chess online (dont judge me), or watching the Golden Girls marathon to being able to let one loose (trust me…women do it to) and not have him look at you like WTF but instead laugh and clown you on your gassey azz
These are good ones!! I can’t stand judgemental people. I will admit that knowing someone’s past does help in getting to know the person however I have met so many people who have changed or grown up from their past experiences so it’s not so good to judge. As long as fam biz doesn’t spill over into relationship biz where you and buddy are arguing and coming inbetween ya’ll. (d@mn I sound country right now) And being there when I’m sick will put a man in my heart!
Ok, first of all I ALWAYS wanted a Trapper Keeper and my evil mother would never buy me one….just had to get that off of my chest, baggage I didn’t even know I had, LOL!!! This was a sweet post though. Made me smile, and I agree with all of the points as they are true. And in these recessionary times, maybe I should give the Kool Aid another look next time I hit Ralphs…….
Bed Intruder Song- Best. Thing. Ever.
He is a keeper if he is respects all women and not just the one he’s currently seeing.
He is a keeper if he likes to dance (or boogie if he’s gansta)
AND, he is definitely a keeper if he is a Very Smart Brotha in real life. Not just on paper.
ur right, sadly though it takes YEARS for ppl to actually get this message and use it for finding a mate… =/
Out of all of them, I’ve only encountered the last one. And even then some the chicks are hot-cold about supporting a man. But if it is one thing I’ve noticed, mostly with just my generation of women, is that they all put on the front and talk the game of a Keeper but don’t have ANY follow-through; like the ninjas spitting game to a woman outside his rank.
As an avid reader and first time commenter, I have to go ahead and agree with the above points.
I’d like to add one to the list:
A guy is a keeper if he is functional around children. Note, I did not say he’s all cuddles and bunnies and ish around a child; not all men are meant to have children. However, if a man can’t hold his own against the wiles of a child (i.e. my cute faced 3 year old niece) then he’s an idiot, and by virtue of that is no ‘Keeper’ for me. Just like I like a man who is quick and witty, that wit should be just as prevalent when wielded against the charms of a small child.
Keep up the good work, I ran through all 4 podcasts this weekend and basically laughed my butt off through the whole thing.
Man, I wish a mf would get mad b/c I asked for something off his plate – it would be over, lol. That’s just such a dumb thing to get mad over, & I share all the time. If he’s selfish like that, he probably is in other ways too.
I totally agree…dated someone like that…he’s now an ex….selfishness (strike one) and getting mad over dumb stuff (strike two)…
I wish a mf would get mad b/c I asked for something off his plate – it would be over, lol. That’s just such a dumb thing to get mad over, & I share all the time. If he’s selfish like that, he probably is in other ways too.
“Or maybe it got raped in the streets since they rapin’ everybody out here.” *DEAD*
I can’t take yall today….LMFAO
ok definitely had to take a moment to properly LMAO at kids named ampersand. I just glossed over the rest so i’m assuming its funny/decent too….but KIDS NAMED “AMPERSAND…aka &” done and done!
and the signs of a creeper are…?
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