Lists, Pop Culture

The Shit List: The Five Worst Movies I’ve Ever Seen

***Posted in anticipation of “Madea Witness Protection” hitting theaters today, and possibly getting a spot on the list***

I don't believe you, unemployed cop, you need more people

While watching “Why Did I Get Married Too”  the other night, I was overcome with a smorgasbord of different feelings and emotions (amazement, itchiness, pride, embarrassment, and hunger to name a few), but one was a bit more prominent than the rest: regret.

You see, since I don’t really go to the theater that often, millions of people had already seen it by the time I got around to seeing it on cable. And this (“millions of people had probably already watched it“) meant that all of the snarky comments and critiques I had about the hilariously contrived characters, the awkward attempts at “real male dialogue,“ the fisher-price plot twists, Lou Gossett Jr.’s schizophrenic island accent, and Tyler Perry’s airport man switch had probably been discussed, written, tweeted, and blogged about already (case in point), and I regretted that I hadn’t watched the movie sooner so I could have been in on all the fun.

How bad was this movie? Let me put it this way: Being coerced into watching Why Did I Get Married Too is the best get out of jail free card a man could ever have. Like, if you watched it with your girl yesterday and your girl’s birthday was next week but you completely forgot about it because you had been too busy helping your ex-girlfriend paint her kitchen, you could just say “I guess we’re even now” and you would be.

While Why Did I Get Married Too was definitely bad, was it bad enough to crack my list of the five worst movies ever? Lets see.

***For clarity’s sake, in order to make this list, the movie has to have had some sort of expectation of quality. For instance, although I Got the Hook Up and Glitter were definitely terrible movies, they don’t qualify because nobody in their right mind thought they’d be any good. I’ve named this the “Shannon Tweed Tenet”***

Vanilla Sky

Principals: Tom Cruise, Penelope Cruz, Cameron Crowe, Cameron Diaz

Plot: I’ve seen it three times and I still have no f*cking clue.

Why it makes the cut: Not only is Vanilla Sky the worst movie ever made (Yes. It is. Any other movie you’d put in its place would be wrong. Accept this and move on.), it might be single worst thing ever done in any context. It’s worse than the Potato Famine, the Rodney King verdict, Paul Pierce’s beard, medium rare chicken nuggets, the Tuskegee experiment, Warren G. Harding’s presidency, and the projected future of Antonio Cromartie’s kids. There are plagues with more positive attributes than Vanilla Sky. There are albino cockroaches with more redeeming qualities. Calling it a shitty movie would be an insult to turds everywhere. An aardvark rapes a puppy every time this movie is watched.

Bad Santa

Principals: Billy Bob Thornton, Tony Cox, Lauren Graham, Bernie Mack, Brett Kelly

Plot: Billy Bob Thornton–Santa Claus, a con man, and an asshole–meets the dumbest eight year old on the planet.

Why it makes the cut: There have been worse movies, but Bad Santa deserves special recognition for the potential of what it could have been. There’s no reason in hell why a movie with such a funny and entertaining premise (and funny and entertaining actors) should be so unfunny and aggressively unentertaining.

And, while I’m usually a fan of vulgarity, watching this was like watching a kindergarten choir recite the lyrics to “Put it in Ya Mouth.” Actually, it was worse. It was like watching a kindergarten choir recite the lyrics to “Put it in Ya Mouth” while the 2nd grade student aid is breaking the teacher’s back on the piano.

The Matrix Revolutions

Principals: Keanu Reeves, Carrie-Anne Moss, Laurence Fishburne, The Wachowski Brothers, Hugo Weaving

Plot: Neo is an unstoppable combination of Jesus, Beatrix Kiddo, and Clyde Drexler. Wait, no he isn’t. Wait, yes he is. (For real this time)

Why it makes the cut: While the series had a great beginning, it ended with two and a half hours of preachy and overproduced pseudo-intellectual pretentiousness. Basically, it was exactly like a Lupe Fiasco album.

Transformers 2

Principals: Michael Bay, robots, and some other motherf*ckers

Plot: Good and evil robots stage a bunch of battles on Earth to see how many different ways sweat can drip off of Megan Fox’s slow-motion bouncing boobs

Why it makes the cut: Along with being completely incomprehensible (During the fight scenes, you couldn’t tell which robots you were supposed to be rooting for, and once you figured that out you couldn’t tell if they were winning. Couldn’t they just have gone shirts and skins or something?) and surprisingly racist, this remains the only movie I’ve ever seen that actually induced physical pain. I left the theater with a migraine, an earache, burning eyes, a bloody nose, and somehow even managed to grow a genital wart.

Why Did I Get Married Too

Principals: A bunch of n*ggas you already know

Plot: …………..

Why it makes the cut: Should have been marketed as a science-fiction flick because it contained at least 25 major scenes and plot points that could have never, ever, ever, ever happened on this Earth we currently inhabit. For the sake of time, I’ll only name three two.

1. Troy’s inability to find a job, despite the fact that he was a f*cking 6’4” black police officer…in Atlanta…with experience!!! Recession or not, do you know how many d*cks a big city chief of police would suck if he knew he could hire a 35 year old 6 foot 4 black cop with experience? Let me answer that for you. seven. Trust me, if you live in a big city, your chief of police and your mayor would definitely suck seven d*cks each to get a person like Troy on their police force. I hope that helps you sleep better tonight.

2. Gavin dying after his $100,000, “specifically built for the race track” car was hit on the passenger side by a truck going 13 miles per hour.

3. The entire subplot around the cellphone password, despite the fact that cellphones don’t have f*cking passwords. While you may need to enter a password if you’re trying to check your voicemail from another line, if you actually physically have the phone, all you have to do is touch it. It’s like sitting on someone’s porch while their door is wide open but begging them for a key. Or something like that.

Anyway, people of VSB, any additions? What are the worst movies you’ve ever seen?

— Damon Young (aka The Champ)

Hey VSBers, your help is needed. Some of my friends at Bohemian Caverns in DC have asked for my help to get the word out. I used to manage at this spot and it’s a second home for me. So when they asked for my help, I couldn’t say no even if I wanted too. So peep game. If you could kindly go and vote for Bohemian Caverns for me, it would be greatly appreciated. The hope here is to help procure a grant to raise money. Voting just keeps Bohemian Caverns in contention to be one of the small businesses that gets a chance to compete for the grant. There’s no obligation or anything aside from the short time it takes to click the link. Thanks in advance. And if you can’t do it, thanks for reading anyway. – VSB P aka Panama Jackson aka Giiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirl He A 3

https://www.missionsmallbusiness.com/

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Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a contributing editor for EBONY.com. He resides in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes.

  • Breezy

    FIRST!

    • Breezy

      Anyway, people of VSB, any additions? What are the worst movies you’ve ever seen?

      1. Mr. Deeds – Tyler Perry
      2. Glitter – Mariah Carey
      3. The Fighting Temptations – Beyoundshea
      4. Radio – Cuba Gooding Jr.

      • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com Val

        I think pretty much everything Cuba has been in since he won his Oscar has been bad, with the exception of Shadowboxer.

        • MsPackyetti

          And with the inclusion of Red Tails.

          I’m still mad that movie sucked, I hyped the hell out of it, just to have my critics’ credibility shot.

      • Beautifullyhuman

        Wow…nice photo! I just got excited because I didn’t see the flower…lol. :-)

        • Breezy

          Ha..thanks! The flower will be back in a few minutes…

      • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com/ Perverted Alchemist

        “Radio” was good- sappy, buy good. Cuba should have been shot for “Boat Trip”, LMAO!!

        • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com Val

          I’m actually surprised Cuba didn’t get an Academy Award nom for that role. Not because it was a good film or because he was good but because Hollywood likes Black roles like that one. Think Blindside.

          • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com/ Perverted Alchemist

            or “The Green Mile”- Hollywood loves retarded Negroes. I guess that’s why Tyler Perry still has a career, LMAO!!!

            • Breezy

              PA!!!!!!!!!!!!

              • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com/ Perverted Alchemist

                I know- the corner…

    • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com Val

      Congratulations on being first. :-)

      • Breezy

        *walks to mic to give speech* I would like to thank my internet company, my wireless mouse and Netflix for making this possible.

        • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com Val

          You forgot to thank Jesus. Lol! It’s not a proper acceptance speech by a Black person if Jesus is not thanked. Even rappers thank Him.

          • Breezy

            Ha ha ha….shame on me….lol!

    • naturalista88

      Cute avi.

      • Breezy

        Thank you!

    • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

      Looook @ my Breeezy Baby, looooking all types of pweety and sooo cheeky and repping for us silly chicks(QUEEEEEN) with that avi!!!!! YESSSSSSSSSSSSS.

      Now, you have confirmed for me that you are not (a)Australian, (b) white!
      Breezy Baby,all along you were a white Australian chick living in the burbs of oh mi gosh, iunno Carnberra, with a lot of sistalihood in her. Yeah! This by the way goes back to when I first met you on Clutch!

      • Breezy

        LOLOLOL…Mami you are too much. Thank you QUEEEN!

      • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com Val

        Hiya, AM! :-)

        • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

          Val darling!!!

          Heeeeey!!! Making a stop over @ your crib, later on today!!! Smooches and goodnight mama!!

    • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

      A pic!

    • demondog06

      ok there we go cool breeze i can now place a face to your words…
      i approve of this avi

      my work here is done……….

    • b sweet

      Hey cutie patootie!! And feisty. Kind of like I imagined

      • Medium Meech

        *Jogs into Breezy’s comment thread* Sorry I’m late. Did I miss anything? *Reads comments*. What the what? I missed the reveal? *Drops glass of Laphroaig QC and storms off* This is your fault b sweet, you kept me up entirely too late.

        • Aly

          You missed out, she’s a cutie!! Too bad for you. So when’s your big reveal?

          • Medium Meech

            Didn’t you already find me? I get a pass because my image is technically somewhere on the website at all times.

            • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

              Meech, if it is you, then I KNOW you!!!

              hehehehehehehehehehehehe

              I never did connect the dots. I thought you were somebody else…oh well!

              • Medium Meech

                Biblically? And how would you know which person was me?

                • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

                  I only saw one dude….loool! So, I’m assuming it is you. If there was more, then I definitely paid attention to that one.

                  • Medium Meech

                    Well, text/email me to see if you’re right.

                    • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

                      nah, Breezy and/or B-Sweet, will handle that on my behalf!

                    • Medium Meech

                      Sigh, I thought you knew me in real life.

                    • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

                      if I did, I would never make it known.

            • Aly

              Booo! That doesn’t count. I looked at that video and there are like 5 guys who aren’t PJ and Champ. At least give a clue to which one you are.

              • Medium Meech

                Don’t be Blue.

                • Aly

                  Well, well, well. Definitely NOT blue ;)

        • b sweet

          She’s gorgeous Meech, but you saw that after you took out your IV, drank your gatorade and knocked on her door this morning.
          Ill text you tonight at about 1:47. It’s the weekend so we’ll order brunch and sleep in. bring your itouch charger. You’ll need it.

          • Breezy

            LMBO…b sweet you have me wondering if you have had one of this e-menage’s before. Not the iTouch charger doe….LOLOL!

            • Medium Meech

              Really??? you want to get on her about the charger? You’re the one with the blindfolds and the car battery with electrodes under you pile of limited edition Gem and the holograms plushy collection. Even if I wasn’t blindfolded I probably wouldn’t remember anything because someone doesn’t respect safety words when it comes to the voltage. And is that gimp union? Just because he(she?) saves money because you have your own industrial grade latex machine is no reason not to support organized labor.

              • Breezy

                *gasps, clutches whip and plugs in car battery charger for Saturday when Meech comes over* Hey hey hey, it was you who decided the safety word should be “more”…the momentary confusion is not my fault.

            • b sweet

              Never. This is my first, my best and my only. I’m new to this you are true to this Breezy with the whip, safety word and what not.
              Meech I anticipate being ready before 1:47 can you pick me up on U St.?

              • Medium Meech

                *Looks at Chinatown bus schedule* Looks like I better leave before 11.

        • Breezy

          *calms Meechy down by rubbing his head and giving him a kiss on the forehead*

          It’s ok Meechy Boo Baby Buttercup…when you get done at b sweet on Saturday, just come next door. The lights will stay on all night so you can see all of me…ok?!? I have all the ingredients for your favorite sandwich plus there is this new body oil we need to try.

    • mena

      You caved to the man!!! :-)

      Very cute pic!!

      • Breezy

        Thanks everyone!

        Now resuming my regularly scheduled program….its back to my flower.

        Mena: I hate leaving a man unsatisfied…..ROTFLMBO!!!

        • demondog06

          you’re a tease……

        • mena

          Understandable!! :-)

      • demondog06

        now it’s your turn mena…..come to the darkside….

        • mena

          !!!NEVER!!!

          • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

            Mena!!! C’mon!!!!!!!

            • Meisarebel

              Says Mami…

              • mena

                :-) I wasn’t going to say anything. LOL.

  • nichelle cns

    My cellphone has a password.. i have to enter a password if its idle for too long.

    • nichelle cns

      What movies have you produced so we can watch those and critique? I am off this weekend would love to watch and give you feedback.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        do cellphone sex tapes count?

        • http://twitter.com/itztrizz617 Tristan

          well played *golf claps*

    • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

      LOL, same. I kept wondering if this joint was out when iPhones were out. Were they? Because EVERYone with an iPhone definitely has a passcode if they know what’s good for ‘em. All them dayum apps with their info?? Sheeeeeeeeeeeeit. LET someone steal that joint.

      • BeautifullyHuman

        O-kay! I have to enter my password at minimum 30 times a day.

        • http://uphereoncloud9.wordpress.com/ Wu Young, Agent of M.E.

          The firm I work with requires a password if you have a work e-mail account on your smartphone.

        • http://www.becauseimwrite.com Muze

          i don’t have an iphone and mine has a pw if it sits past 10 minutes. i have to enter that thing allllll day. learned my lesson the last time i lost a phone. smh.

  • dalia

    Uh, my cell phone has a password.

    • Royale W. Cheese

      …it’s o-s-c-a-r.
      My cell phone has a second code, it’s m-a-y-e-r

      Sorry. Just being silly and showing my age.

  • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com Val

    Here’s the problem; I can usually sniff out a bad film without having to see it. The trailers are usually enough to keep me away from bad films.

    There is one glaring exception however; She Hate Me. Somehow I managed to see that film. Maybe it was because Spike generally makes films that are at least decent. So I was going on his rep alone.

    She Hate Me is the worst film I’ve ever seen. It was totally stupid. The plot horrifically bad. And to make it worse that film counts as one of the biggest wastes of talent in film history. How Spike got those actors to be in this stinker I’ll never know. I know it wasn’t money. Maybe they too fell for Spike’s rep.

    • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com/ Perverted Alchemist

      I’m still trying to figure out how this movie got greenlighted bny Sony Pictures. I mean, they passed on his other film “25th Hour”, but accepted this one?!

      • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com Val

        Maybe Sony needed a write-off that year?

        • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com/ Perverted Alchemist

          That would probably explain Sony’s quick release to video for the movie “Stealth” shortly after “She Hate Me”. That movie was so bad that Jamie Foxx clowned it- and he was one of the actors in it!!!!

          If you don’t believe me, take a look for yourself:

          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-PPH_X46Us&feature=mv_sr

          • http://www.twitter.com/Bmorebmw Tentpole

            Thank You PA. I forgot about Stealth and I actually saw it in the theater. All time worst movie for me.

    • kid video

      @Val
      She Hate Me is the worst film I’ve ever seen.

      Seeing Kerry Washington in a lezzie sex scene/ wearing garter belt w/ stockings was worth the price of admission.

    • Cali

      AGREED, it was a tragedy. Spike be trippin’ sometimes…

    • Mrs. O

      I agree. If the trailer is awful, I’m pretty sure the movie is worst. Think Snoop Dogg “Car Wash” the trailer was so bad I didn’t even bother to go see it.

      • CNotes

        Car Wash was an ignant movie….but funnnnyyyyy!!!

      • Cali

        Snoop’s load of crap was “THE Wash”… “Car Wash” was GOOD!!

  • http://panamaenrique.wordpress.com Malik

    I don’t remember bad movies. I never understood how or why people would keep the limited space of their memories full of things they hate.

    • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com Val

      Sometimes something is so bad you just can’t get it out of your head. You know like a song by Soulja Boy.

      • Keisha

        …or the movie Soul Plane. :-/

    • http://www.iamyourpeople.com I Am Your People

      It’s the bad stuff that i can’t un-remember or un-see, unfortunately. This is why I never watched “2 girls, 1 cup” or Rick Ross’ s3x tape

      • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com/ Perverted Alchemist

        *posts link of “2 Girls 1 Cup” while I Am Your People isn’t looking*

    • YeahSo

      I second that.

    • http://wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

      This is me 100% I have to strain hard to remember a movie I hated. Can’t think of one. I forget things I don’t like. It’s a nice trick.

      • nillalatte

        With WC and Malik on this one. I don’t remember bad movies until they actually come on television again and then I remember… damn, that was a bad movie. Snakes on a plane comes to mind now just because they are running it again… and again… and again. Ugh.

    • demondog06

      it’s like teh smell of chitlins or walking in on your 80 yr old grand parents having hot hot buttered monkey love. some things get ingrained into the very fabric of your being.

      it’s like witnessing and commemorating an atrocity like a genocide or some great injustice
      you keep it in memory lest you fall victim to it again….make sense?

      • http://wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

        No cause remembering bad things don’t prevent them from happening.

        • demondog06

          so you burn your hand on the stove or scorch your retinas looking at the sun so what? you do it again?

          If that didn’t make sense, then i take it that you’re a glutton for punishment. You
          humans as a civilization has a bad habit of not learning from your mistakes, but a reasonably intelligent individual will say ” i know from the last time that if i drink this bleach, that will be terribly unpleasant”

      • http://panamaenrique.wordpress.com Malik

        I mean things like movies, music, and tv shows. Things in that vein.

        • demondog06

          yeah i know i was just being dramatic.
          but this kinda applies with entertainment too
          for instance i only needed to hear gucci mane, drake, soldier boy or any number of today’s cRAPPers 1nce to know not to ever expose my eardrums to that type of rapery ever again!

  • http://Www.pyersedandridge.com Pyerse

    I would add Norbit, Batman and Robin, and Hulk 2002

  • https://twitter.com/#!/cnote220 Cheech

    Good Burger- I enjoyed it as a kid but as an adult it seemed extra stupid
    The Last Airbender- M. Night Shymalan ruined a good franchise
    Madea Goes to Jail- Tyler Perry
    Pineapple Express- Hated it because I was the only person in the theater not high
    Saw 4- I never did get the reason why it was made

    • NYCgyal

      I like to forget that the Last Airbender was even made.

      • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com/ Perverted Alchemist

        Who in the holy hell thought it was a good idea for M. Night Shyamalan to direct a kids’ film? I watched the movie on Netflix just to see if he was going to put his trademark surprise endings in that one, LMAO!!

        • NYCgyal

          That’s hilarious because I did the same thing. I only made it to ~33 minutes in though. So horrible.

          I wish they would just start over with someone else directing it. So much potential from a great source material just wasted SMH.

      • kaname

        I *knew* that movie was bad as *soon* as I saw the casting decisions. *sends a squad of ninjas to dropkick M.Knight again*

        • NYCgyal

          Yeah, me too. That doofus from Twilight as Sokka??? C’mon son, let’s be serious.

          Same thing happened with Dragonball: Evolution and that kid from American Shameless.

        • http://twitter.com/think2inspire Think2Inspire

          My brother and I watched it on DVD after hearing all the terrible reviews. We kept hoping the movie would get betterbut it just stayed terrible. F*CK yo mama M. Night Shamalamadingdong! My brother tried to break the DVD after it ended. Don’t even get me started on that last Drangon Ball Z -_- Once I saw who they casted as Bulma and Chichi I knew it was doomed, oh and white Goku *throws desk across room*

      • whatupdoe

        The fact that a little kid in the movie theater yelled “That sucked!” as soon as the credits hit solidifies The Last Airbender as a terrible movie.

    • naturalista88

      I like “Pineapple Express” and I don’t even smoke. Now I feel sad :(

      • kaname

        I blame Seth Rogen for that. He ruined the Green Hornet for me >_<

        • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com/ Perverted Alchemist

          That movie was all kinds of jacked up. You had Seth Rogen and his partner Evan Goldberg writing the script and Michel Gondry directing the film. Whose bright idea was it to have an arthouse film and music video director in charge of an action film?

    • Fivegirl

      The last airbender made me cry. That was my FAAAAVORITE cartoon of the past 10 years. The movie was so bad I was actually angry, and I snuck into the theater so I hadn’t even paid for it.

    • Guenther

      I made the mistake of seeing Avatar in the theater with my brother. I absolutely loved the cartoon. The movie complete garbage.

      Pineapple Express just didn’t work at all. It wasn’t funny or entertaining.

  • http://www.iamyourpeople.com I Am Your People

    The worst movie I have ever seen is Dangerous Ground with Ice Cube and Elizabeth Hurley. It actually wasn’t a terrible movie, it’s that it could have been so much better.

    Here’s the set up: In apartheid-era South Africa, a pre-teen Ice Cube is an active anti-apartheid activist. A cop leads him out to a field, points a gun to his head, then inexplicably lets him go. His mom freaks out and sends him to live with family in California. About 15 years later his father dies, so he returns to bury him. So he left as an African, but was returning as an American, and seeing post-apartheid South Africa for the first time.

    Sounds deep, right? Wrong.

    When he gets to South Africa, he finds out that his baby brother has gotten tangled with a drug lord, and Cube his trying to bet him out of gang life. It’s basically a crack-in-the-hood movie, but in Africa.

    • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com Val

      Ice Cube has only been in two good films; Friday and Barbershop. Everything else was terrible unless I’m forgetting something.

      • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com/ Perverted Alchemist

        What? No love for “The Glass Shield”, huh Val?

        • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com Val

          @PA

          Lol Stop it!

      • Third Of August

        Three Kings was OK….but barely. lol

        • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com Val

          Oh yeah, I saw that. It was watchable, sort of. It was also an amazing waste of talent.

      • bhillboy

        You are missing Boyz N the Hood, 3 Kings, and Friday After Next.
        Friday After Next is the kind of movie you have to watch a couple of times to get all of the jokes. There are some jokes that will have you falling on the floor laughing the second time you hear them.

        • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com Val

          Oh yeah, Boyz is a classic. How’d I forget that. And I can’t remember what Friday After Next was about.

      • http://www.twitter.com/Bmorebmw Tentpole

        “Are we there yet” is one you missed

      • demondog06

        three kings was decent….

    • LeonieUK

      Shyte movie had one of those funny quotes you always remember

      ” I don’t pay for 2 things pussy and water”

  • NYCgyal

    Bratz and House of the Dead are the worst movies I’ve ever seen, but then, I didn’t expect them to be masterpieces. I don’t really have movies that I hate, just movies that I thougt were overrated like A Clockwork Orange and Trainspotters.

    • demondog06

      a clockwork orange was one of those movies that was kinda controversial at the time of it’s release. in the 70’s they had to actually ban the movie because of all the anarchists that popped up trying to copycat. to really get it you have to read the book

  • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com Val

    Shouldn’t all Tyler Perry films be excluded from this list if to be on it there was/ is an expectation that it was going to be a good film?

    • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com/ Perverted Alchemist

      All with the exception of “The Family That Preys”- that one was actually good…and this is coming from someone who hopes Tyler Perry gets struck by lightning one day, LOL!

      • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com Val

        Yeah a lot of people say that was a good film but I took an oath that I would never see any Tyler Perry film. So I haven’t and never will see it.

        • Beautifullyhuman

          It s*cked. Don’t waste your time.

        • http://wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

          You seem to have a personal vendetta. The hatred for Perry seems to boil and you repeat it at every opportunity. Even when he’s not the subject and were not talking about movies. It’s like you’re on a personal eternal hate Tyler Perry campaign.

          Where do you get so much hate energy? I mean, to me, at some point you’d get bored with it or find something new….I really want to know. Did Tyler Perry kill your puppy? He just makes movies. Most of them mediocre. What’s with the seething white-hot hate?

          • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com Val

            For those of us who dislike Tyler Perry films the reasons are obvious. So if you like his films there’s no reason to try to explain why so many people think he’s a vile and talentless person.

      • Breezy

        CORNER!

        • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com/ Perverted Alchemist

          Oh come on Breezy, you’d say the exact same thing about him, LOL!

          • Breezy

            Face the wall and pass me the keys to your scooter!!!!

            • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com/ Perverted Alchemist

              For the last time Breezy, it’s a motorcycle. When was the last time you’ve seen a scooter go 140 MPH? LOL!

              • Breezy

                LMBO…I kid I kid.

      • Beautifullyhuman

        My comment is in moderation, but this is one of the two movies I listed as my worst…lol. This film was whack!

        • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com/ Perverted Alchemist

          I hate dude with the fury of a thousand sons, but I’ll give him credit for that one.

          • http://wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

            You too…..I worry about you people. I really do. He doesn’t merit so much energy.

            • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com/ Perverted Alchemist

              It’s real simple- he’s a terrible actor, screenwriter and film director. His fanbase- or stans, as it were- hold him up as some kind of creative genius along the lines of Sam Peckinpah or Sidney Lumet. In my eyes, he’s the R. Kelly of filmmaking- getting a lot of press for excessive mediocrity. Why do they do that? From what I hear from them, they support him because he came from nothing to something.

              As a longtime film buff, I don’t see anything special or memorable about his films except they have overtones of the Christian faith woven in the film from time to time (People who know me know how I feel about the Christian faith). In a nutshell, I respect him as a man but he’s a terrible filmmaker- there’s no blinding hate, no disrespect. I feel he just should have stuck to plays- filmmaking clearly is not his strong suit.

              • http://wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

                So…..some people like his movies……and you don’t. That’s it? That’s the reason for your thousand suns hate?

                • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com/ Perverted Alchemist

                  No- it’s the case of mediocrity being passed off as greatness. As a serious music and film buff, I find this to be utterly annoying. My dislike for Tyler is the same as my dislike of Michael Bay, Uwe Boll, Garry Marshall and Peter Hyams. The problem with Tyler Perry fanatics is they insist that he’s a savior of modern day filmmaking, when he’s really nothing more than an playwright who got lucky turning his Chitlin Cirucit plays into mediocre films. In any case, he should have stuck to writing plays- that’s his strong suit. Besides, when it comes to playwrights turned filmmakers, David Mamet runs circles around Tyler Perry.

                  • Innovative21

                    “The problem with Tyler Perry fanatics is they insist that he’s a savior of modern day filmmaking…”

                    Whaaaaaa??? …who do you surround yourself with, maybe that’s the real problem. You’re paying too much attention to those you prob already know you don’t care for, because I AINT NEVA hearda Dat! NOT-A-ONCE!

                    • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com/ Perverted Alchemist

                      You should get out more…they are out and about, trust me.

      • That Ugly Kid

        +1 The Family That Preys is the only Tyler Perry film I thoroughly enjoy. That and Daddy’s Little Girls.

        • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com/ Perverted Alchemist

          I was recommended to see “Daddy’s Little Girls” once, but the movie looked like it was going to be sappy on Garry Marshall/Nora Ephron levels.

          • Keisha

            Daddy’s Little Girls was actually okay…

        • demondog06

          i don’t like most of his movies. but black people really gat it bad for shidding on other black people.
          you gotta respect this dudes game
          black owned film company
          distribution
          he actually put black actors to work
          dresses to much in drag for my taste but thats neither here nor there

          like i said i’m not a big fan of his movies but at the same time his movies are crap because he caters to those that actually support him….black churchy women!

          he actually made a decent film portraying a black man in a decent light…and hardly anyone supported it. daddy’s girls was actually alright.

          i respect his gangsta because he doesn’t abide by hollywoods rules!
          end of the day he knows who his supporters are and will continue to make movies for them. crappy or not. it’s just like with these dumbass reality shows. when negroes start demanding better and watching better a better product will emerge. until then stop tearin this brotha down

          • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

            Catering to an audience isn’t a sin; it’s business. I would categorize his movies like Will Ferrell and Adam Sandler- not as comedies but as movies where I generally know what to expect- and I’m still entertained.

          • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com/ Perverted Alchemist

            Here’s the thing though: If his films were actually good, I’d have no problem whatsoever supposrting him. That’s the reason why I won’t clown John Singleton, Spike Lee, Rick Famuyiwa, Malcolm D. Lee, Charles Stone III, Reggie Rock Bythewood, Kasi Lemmons or Thomas Carter. All of them are Black filmmakers and all of them have delivered quality product for most of their careers. This is something i have yet to see in Tyler Perry.

            • http://wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

              Three words. Get. Over. It.

    • Cali

      THAT is an excellent point!