Lists, Theory & Essay

the sad tale of the BAB: three signs that you might be a bitter-a** bastard

the official drink of the BAB

the official drink of the BAB

from the real world’s BBC (big breasted coral) to omarosa manigault-stallworth, the image of the “angry educated black woman” has become a fixture in modern day american culture. studied, discussed, debated, and caricatured, you almost can’t escape a day without reading some blog or watching some special focused on angry educated black women’s views on dating, racism, sexism or kim kardashian.

thing is, the non-stop attention paid to these belligerent and bookish broads has caused us to overlook and ignore a growing contingent in our communities, a group thats still growing like chinese gymnasts and spreading like the legs of vsb.com groupies california wildfires, the bitter-a** bastard.

acrimonious men who have allowed a few real or perceived minor slights to vindicate their displeasure with womanhood in general, there are bitter-a** bastards walking among us and angrily insisting dutch first dates as we speak, and and its our duty to locate and brand them before they continue to poison the already misty dating pool

so, without further ado, here’s three signs that you might be a bitter-a** bastard (BAB)

1. you’re proudly unchivalrous.

there’s nothing else that screams “i’m a bitter a** bastard” louder than a grown ass man who’s practically excited to get the opportunity to let everyone else know all the simple-ass sh*t they’d never do for a woman.

“pay for dinner??? trick, please. what i look like buying you appetizers and water and sh*t when you don’t even swallow??? plus, you make like 31g’s a year!!! you’re telling me you can’t afford to buy your own damn ice tea???”

look, i understand that it’s 2008 and that acf (annoyingly convenient feminism) combined with the gains women have made in the workforce has made male and female interaction increasingly complex. plus, with all the diseased free panties running the streets nowadays, why walk the extra mile for some “undeserving” chick when you can run a train in your basement?

yet, despite whatever argument you conceive, there’s still no justifiable explanation being this way. part of being a grown-up man is doing the right thing without any expectation of acknowledgment or reward, but a typical BAB will voluntarily and happliy relinquish a crucial component of his own manhood just because some janky broad or two didn’t immediately fellate him when he gave up his seat for her on the train seven years ago.

2. scapegoating is your friend

BABs love scapegoating and pigeonholing more than crackheads love home depot. words such as “all” and “every” always seem to find a way into their sentences when speaking negatively about the opposite sex, a common practice used by folks so blinded by bitterness that they can’t see how foolish a statement such as “all black women with master’s degrees give terrible bj’s” really is. ****editors note: although, with this example, he might have a point****

3. bitter? me? hell no!!! not at all. I’m just a little more practical now, thats all”

theres nothing a BAB loathes more than actually admitting that he’s a BAB, a phenomenon which produces some of the most hilariously misguided attempts of synonym use known to man. from “practical” and “prudent” to “rational” and “realistic”, a typical BAB will have an endless supply of words and euphemisms that make his BAB-ness sound much less harsh

“i’m not bitter. far from it. i just tend to look at the entire idea of womankind in a perpetually jaundiced light, thats all.”

the first step in any type of healing process is acknowledging the fact that you actually do have a problem, but because BAB’s are typically reluctant to do this, its our patriotic duty to alert them ourselves. good people of vsb.com, its in your hands now.

i challenge you all to find one BAB today, look him dead in his beady eyes, and tell him to “man the hell up!!”. don’t let your country or your champ down.

–the champ

Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a contributing editor for EBONY.com. He resides in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes.

  • http://lizburr.com Liz

    Umm, I know I have seen some BAB-esque comments here on VSB.com before! Come out come out wherever you are….

    • ForReal

      ***looking around to see who is going to bite first, because i know i’ve seen those comments too!!***

    • miss t-lee

      Way to call ‘em out Liz.
      Way to go!!! :)

    • http://www.goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

      LIZ…I was laughing and reading because several of VSB(AB’s) came to mind…this is either going to be a super-krunk day in the bloggerhood or there will be tumbleweeds blowing over our keyboards…LOL

      • http://lizburr.com Liz

        ok? it’s mighty quiet around here. *mmhmm*

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        “LIZ…I was laughing and reading because several of VSB(AB’s) came to mind”

        you know what, i don’t think we have too many BAB’s here, if any at all.

        i could be wrong though. i havent been before, but, yanno, anything can happen

    • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor Miss Patterson

      I thought the original name for this site -before real man whores- was Bitter-Ass Bastards. no?

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        “I thought the original name for this site -before real man whores- was Bitter-Ass Bastards. no?”

        this was almost funny

  • http://www.sheliagoss.com/blog Shelia

    I’m sending this link to a few BABs I know. Sad part about it, they won’t think the post is about them (see your#3)…lol

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “I’m sending this link to a few BABs I know”

      good job

  • Kamilah

    “I challenge you all to find one BAB today, look him dead in his beady eyes, and tell him to “man the f**k up“. don’t let your country or your champ down.”

    I called to leave a message but his vm said, “Yo, you’ve reached BAB. If you think I’m gonna buy you dinner because you’ve got a career, but aren’t puttin it down tonight just hang up…you’re part of the masses. And don’t hate…I ain’t bitter, just better! One!”

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “I ain’t bitter, just better!”

      this actually would be a great t-shirt

    • http://www.goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

      I ain’t bitter, just better!

      I say this ALL THE TIME…he may be a BAB…but the brother has a way with words, no? lol…

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        I ain’t bitter, just better!

        this is like the angry person mantra.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          “I ain’t bitter, just better!

          this is like the angry person mantra.”

          especially if they add “b*tch” to the end of it

          • http://www.goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

            and I do…I add b*tch to the end of everything!! b*tch… LMAO

            • shay-d-lady

              LMAO I do too….

  • http://threewaystotakeit.wordpress.com Slim Jackson

    This is pretty effin funny, and true. I think I teter on the line of BAB. I try to pass my reluctance to be chivalrous on “equal opportunity”. “You want my seat on the train lil lady? No! Equal opportunity!”
    “You want me to cover this whole dinner when it was your idea to go out for food? Cover half! Equal opportunity!”
    “I’m tired of bein on top! Equal opportunity!”

    • Shay-d-lady

      LMAO not equal opportunity!!! Well at least now you know and knowing is half the battle…..

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “You want my seat on the train lil lady? No! Equal opportunity!”

      lol…this made me choke on my toast

    • miss t-lee

      “You want my seat on the train lil lady? No! Equal opportunity!”

      Wow. You should be proud of yourself.
      ::full sarcasm intended::

    • http://www.goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

      ok…I ain’t mad at you Slim…lol…you should give up the seat on the train…and be clear about who’s paying before you hit the door…but the “on top”-ness…hell nah! she’s just being lazy! Women’s Lib and sh*t…do you know how long women had to be on the bottom? Now when they finally get a chance to saddle up, they get “tired”…our for-mothers got rode hard and hung up wet…now it’s our turn to mount up, put an arch in your back, and make him say your name!!! THAT is the kind of feminism a sister can get behind…LOL

      ***joking (but only a little) lighten up and sh*t***

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        “our for-mothers got rode hard and hung up wet”

        i never understood the meaning of this saying. can somebody please break it down for me?

        • miss t-lee

          It’s an old saddle term.
          Better yet…here ya go.
          http://www.phrases.org.uk/bulletin_board/7/messages/597.html

        • miss t-lee

          old horse saying.

          here’s what I found for ya…
          : What does this mean and where did it come from? Please settle this argument.

          : Rode hard and put up wet. It refers to riding a horse “hard” to exhaustion and putting him up “wet,” rather than brushing him off and cooling him down. Or whatever one does with a sweaty horse.

          We’ll, that’s exactly what one does with a horse that has been “rode hard.” See to the horse’s needs before one’s own needs. The phrase implies that an emergency occurred, and that once the horse had responded beyond normal expectations, it was abandoned.

          As currently used, it means that something was used very hard to accomplish an objective, and then thrown aside because it was no longer immediately useful

  • http://www.idatewhite.com Eathan

    haha.. This is funny. I’ve been unchivalrous before. Of course, that’s been years ago. I retired my BAB membership long ago!

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “I retired my BAB membership long ago!”

      do you still pay membership dues?

  • Shay-d-lady

    LOL that’s funny at first I thought you were going to write a post on the BAB (!tch) so I am glad to see this topic being addressed. I have come across a few of these dudes in my day. I came across a whole lot of these guys when I had that virginitis. I mean do you really think I waited all this time to drop it off because you walked me home from the cafe or let me use your card to get a stale a$$ little ceaser personal pizza ? I digress…now that I am married I hear it more than I experience it and whats suprising is that the majority of these men are married. I know at least 80% of these dudes are flog at large but man I feel sorry for the women that deal with that 20%

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      virginitis?

      • http://www.goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

        you ain’t never heard of virginitis? a severe deficiency of vitamin “D”…

        • miss t-lee

          deficiency…lol

        • Intellectual Hedonist

          vitamin D Muther Frogger D!!! LMAO

    • genius khan

      Shade takes a load off:

      “LOL that’s funny at first I thought you were going to write a post on the BAB(!tch)”

      morning luv. i can feel u saying “whew!”

      …and if by “(!tch)” you mean “Bitter As*ed B*tches/women”, you are absolutely right. i don’t think Chuamp intended to right about “Bitter As*sed” women.

      Shayd it wasn’t hard for you to feel the true essence of the piece and feel some relief that his post was NOT really about Bitter As*ed Women.

      Champu sir i don’t think u were willing to man up to ur truer feelings and place ur expression fully and flatly there. why not fella?

      u start out adressing “Bitter ass Women” too, as i feel, a “Bitter As*ed “attempt to mask ur true agenda. it was a thinly veiled attempt to appear even handed, fair and balance etc. etc.

      no doubt some including Champ himself might argure to the contrary. ladies and gentlemen of the court i direct you to the 600 or so words devoted to men who are Bitter as*ed bastards versus the 100 or so mentioned about the “Bitter ass Bi*ch [es].” hmmmm. …and if that’s not enuf notice the pointed accusations that might make men “Bitter as*ed Bastards if:

      1. “you’re proudly unchivalrous.”

      3. “bitter? me? hell no!!! not at all. I’m just a little more practical now, thats all”

      no such pointed examples are given of the “Bitter” women

      …and Chaumps call to action. why?

      “i challenge you all to find one BAB today, look him dead in his beady eyes, and tell him to “man the f**k up“. don’t let your country or your champ down.”

      such strong talk (passion i luv it!) in ur call for action. however the 1st part of ur piece was “wanna be deceptive and easily detectable. VSB is NOT Fox News and you’re not Bill O’Reilly or Sean Hannity. i can see thru their bollix as well.

      u sir should man thefu*kup and say what u really mean not cloaked in a very transluscent membrane of gelatinous piss. Take ur own advice and recognize:

      “the first step in any type of healing process is acknowledging the fact that you actually do have a problem

      u watered down the strength of a potentially more powerful piece by appearing to confuse and compromise ur truer thoughts with subterfuge, sullied with ruse and cheap tricks.

      i challenge u sir to be more true to urself and quit being so douche-lamatic. this was true house nicca behavior and i sir am a field negro. if you’re gonna try ur hand at being or appearing balanced this was a feeble attempt. ur real slant screamed thru. come on dude. ur passions sold u out on this one.

      u know how people like to play with screen names here and I’d hate to have people take the “a” out of ur alias and replace it with a “u”.

      • http://www.goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

        u sir should man thefu*kup and say what u really mean not cloaked in a very transluscent membrane of gelatinous piss.

        u watered down the strength of a potentially more powerful piece by appearing to confuse and compromise ur truer thoughts with subterfuge, sullied with ruse and cheap tricks.

        u know how people like to play with screen names here and I’d hate to have people take the “a” out of ur alias and replace it with a “u”.

        GK.. I read this with my mouth hanging wide open…I am in shock and awe…this was the most scathing, un-profane, “hit duck quacking” rant I have ever read…and yet, as lingua-phile, I am aroused by your usage, word selection, imagery and phrasing. When I read this post, I “thunk” of you…won’t lie about it…but oddly enough, I don’t consider you a BAB…not sure why or why not…but I had to put that out there…because it felt a little personal to me…still e-love you genie…speak easy…

        • miss t-lee

          u sir should man thefu*kup and say what u really mean not cloaked in a very transluscent membrane of gelatinous piss.

          *Claps hands like a casino dealer*
          I’m done…no mas…
          this is funny!!!! :)

          “gelatinous piss”
          This would be a great band name.

      • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor Miss Patterson

        so are you saying this whole post is the equivalent of The Champ putting on a crocheted skull cap and singing a hip hop ballad like Common in The Light…was this just a post he wrote to please the b*tches? say it ain’t so…

        • genius khan

          Patt surmises:

          “[am i saying] …this whole post is the equivalent of The Champ putting on a crocheted skull cap and singing a hip hop ballad like Common in The Light…was this just a post he wrote to please the b*tches?

          no not really, u raised the question. i’m saying that he perhaps should have said what he meant without the attempt at even-handedness when i doubt that even handedness was his more genuine felling to express.

          however ur (Miss Pattersons’) observation is interesting. [that Chaump may be pandering to the ladies] nothing wrong with that necessarily. fox news like Champu knows his audience and is of the train of thought that he caters to in some instances. if ur gonna do that get to it. it’s mostly anonymous here. no ones gonna get fired for speaking their true feelings. (no faces, no real names unless u choose to reveal.)

          in the effort to understand one another [male to female] we here at vsb can speak directly but if you wanna play fair and balanced do a better job […and Chuamp is more than capable] this was easy to see thru like house nicca behavior.

          laugh with me now.

          heh, heh, heh, (inhales) whooooo!

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        i figured i’d get a comment or ten today from some who felt that i was being unproportionally harsh on us (men) with this entry. to that i present the following:

        http://www.verysmartbrothas.com/get-off-the-wagon/

        http://www.verysmartbrothas.com/the-v-test/

        http://www.verysmartbrothas.com/ms-masochistic-part-2/

        http://www.verysmartbrothas.com/ms-masochistic/

        http://www.verysmartbrothas.com/ebs-the-human-body-snatchers/

        i’m agenda-less here, and will give it to both sexes (no homo, lol) if need be. as you can see, my resume speaks for itself. this is part of what makes me, and noone else, the champ.

        • genius khan

          i’m not saying that you haven’t ever given it to both sides just as hard. (wow that sounded gay/bi but not intended to be) LOL! yes you are more than capable. …but the thinly veiled attempt today could have been left out all together to make for a more poignant piece.

          it was easy to tell that you didn’t genuinely want to express the female Bitter B*tches story. (nothing wrong with that) don’t stifle urself homey let it flow and dam who don’t like it. apathy is ur enemy not hate. if your gonna assume the position of fair and balanced reporter, do a better job.

          as u see some didn’t even notice the 1st part and others were relieved that u didn’t continue with the 1st part. let it be what it is. it was a great provocative post, sure to compell vigorous trading but it got watered down with the first part.

          disingenuous

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            “it was easy to tell that you didn’t genuinely want to express the female Bitter B*tches story.”

            hmmm. two things

            1. i included the piece about angry black chicks not because i was “teasing” or trying to make a subtle point…but because it was 1:00am and i couldnt think of another intro to segue into the main point. the first two paragrpahs were actually the last things i wrote before i hit “publish”

            2. even if i did want to expound, i already covered it here…

            http://www.verysmartbrothas.com/ebs-the-human-body-snatchers/

            …making another entire entry devoted to that topic redundant

            with that being said, i do appreciate your attempt at constructive criticism. you get a b for effort, at least

        • ForReal

          LMAO at the inclusion of ‘no homo’.

      • JBoogie

        dude, i still e-love you too, but dayum that was harsh. i personally believe champ was ON POINT with this post…because these men DO exist, trust me. or ask any of my sistas on here that have dealt with them…they are REAL!

        • ForReal

          I think Champ did his thing. I saw the inclusion of a few lines about BAB*tches as an appropriate set up for his post: everybody talks about BAB*tches, well i’m about to talk about BAB*stards.
          Nothing about it felt like a cop-out to me…it was clear from the jump that he was here to talk about the fellas today, not the ladies.

        • Genius Khan

          j boogz I’m not saying these men don’t exist I’m calling into question Champs half hearted attempt at even handedness. He hasn’t felt he NEEDED to do it before and when he has he did a much better (genuine) job.

        • Leila

          “these men DO exist, trust me. or ask any of my sistas on here that have dealt with them”

          *Nodding head in agreement* I’ve been very fortunate not to deal with these guys, but my sister and friends have. I hear the stories all of the time. The Champ was on point with this post!

  • V.E.G.

    So…I’ve heard horror stories about these types of guys but I’ve actually been extremely lucky NOT to have run across one in my personal life. Those of you who have dealt with BABs should be canonized. My hats off to you.

    • southernabelle

      ..be glad you haven’t come across one- I have…and lets just say they take some years off your game..BAN ( Bitter Azz Nuccas) …man up or go lay in yo’ mamas lap !

  • V.E.G.

    “all black women with master’s degrees give terrible bj’s” really is. ****editors note: although, with this example, he might have a point****”

    As a black woman with a master’s degree, I can tell you…this fictional he ain’t got a point.

    • sisanda

      Point Taken!

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “As a black woman with a master’s degree, I can tell you…this fictional he ain’t got a point.”

      “i dont believe you/you need more people”

      • V.E.G.

        Champ: Your reply made me choke on my pancakes.

        I can only speak for myself; can’t vouch for the other black women with master’s degrees. But, I have received many cheers and no complaints. You’ll need to take my word on this one, lol.

      • V Renee

        Not only do I have a MBA but also a MBJ (Masters of Blow Jobs). True Story!

        • V.E.G.

          That title was also bestowed on me by one appreciative individual. :)

        • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

          LMAO @ ur MBJ! Just chocked on my gummy flintstone vitamins.

          • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

            LMAO! flinstone vitamins rule! and yeah, a little apple juice almost came out my nose on that MBJ title too. so, what happens when we get a doctorate??

      • shay

        well i’ll be graduating with my BA next year, and i have had no complaints whatsoever. should i expect my game to decline once I hit grad school? i need answers.

        • JBoogie

          Well heck, I’m in the process of getting the masters now…and my game was tight long before I got the BS. It DOESN’T decline, girl…

      • http://lizburr.com Liz

        They call it Brain for a reason Champ.

        <—dusts off her master’s degree.

        • V.E.G.

          And the point goes to Liz.

          Good one!

          • ForReal

            Sounds like a t-shirt to me!

        • http://www.goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

          LIZ…THANK YOU…I was thinking the same thing!!
          you can’t get bad brains from a smart b*tch…it’s a contradiction in terms!

          • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

            “you can’t get bad brains from a smart b*tch…it’s a contradiction in terms”

            LOL knowing how to read is mutually exclusive from knowing how to SUPERhead.

            I think us SMART VeeEssBeeians are just well-rounded like that so we can be both BRAINS that give good BRAINS.

            • V.E.G.

              lol

          • miss t-lee

            C’mon ladies. We all know if it’s good, you don’t need to brag.
            Degrees have nothing to do with skills.
            Either you have it, or you don’t.

            • V.E.G.

              Wasn’t bragging. I just don’t want dudes going around thinking “oh. she went to school. She gives bad brain.”

              lol.

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            “you can’t get bad brains from a smart b*tch…it’s a contradiction in terms!”

            lol…although this statement is completely inaccurate, it still made me cough up my beer-battered shrimp

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          “They call it Brain for a reason Champ.”

          as in some of y’all can use it…not do it?

        • Leila

          “They call it Brain for a reason Champ”

          Good one Liz!

      • shay-d-lady

        I must admit that this is not my forte at all……

    • http://www.singleblackmale.net Single Black Male

      I’m sorry … and don’t take this as my inner BAB showing … but Champ has a point.

      When your younger and “uncultured” you attack such tasks with veracity and reckless abandonment.

      One the master’s is bestowed its suddenly “stop grabbing my hair” and “done yet”. In addition to “my knees … thats degrading!”.

      But don’t let me deter any educational pursuits. Small price to pay I say!

      • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

        ROTF @ ““my knees … thats degrading!”.”

  • http://www.myspace.com/Elendak Elenda

    **Standing Ovation** Thank you Champ for writing this.

    I always knew there were some bitter men out there I just never had a name for them.

    This blog was written because men are more sensitive than women. Once they get hurt or preceive that they have been taken advantage of, they turn into BAB. When this happens to female, they tell all their girls to vent and move on, not men! Men shut down, put up the wall and change their entire way of dating to assure that they never feel the hurt again. Show me a BAB and I’ll show you his bi**cha**ness. :-) Thanks again for writing this. You guys always make me so proud :P

    • ForReal

      “Men shut down, put up the wall and change their entire way of dating to assure that they never feel the hurt again”
      Speak that truth girl!!! BAB’s need to realize everyone gets hurt sometimes, you just need to accept it and try to minimize it by dating smart and choosing wisely WITHOUT turning into a BAB. It can be done…ask a woman! (okay, okay not any woman, but the right ones).

      • http://www.myspace.com/Elendak Elenda

        Thanks chica!

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “This blog was written because men are more sensitive than women.”

      eh, i wouldnt say this.

      • http://insidethemindofadeviant.wordpress.com Deviant

        really. You gotta ask what kind of men fit this criteria…then you have to ask are they really men. Men are sensitive to some things but more sensitive than women on a whole?…naw

        • genius khan

          Deev’s is cogent:

          “Men are sensitive to some things but more sensitive than women on a whole?…naw”

          Salute!

      • Ivy St.

        Men are sensitive to the big picture it seems. Women come off as being more sensitive than men because they focus on all the little things. Women get their heart broken, cry and keep it moving. They also continue to date the same a**hole type wondering why things aren’t different. Men get their heart broken and they change their lifestyle, the type they date, etc. Now who is really sensitive?!?!?!

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          Women get their heart broken, cry and keep it moving. They also continue to date the same a**hole type wondering why things aren’t different. Men get their heart broken and they change their lifestyle, the type they date, etc. Now who is really sensitive?!?!?!

          based on what you’re saying, it sounds like men are smart…and women are…insane?

          isn’t the definition of insanity doing shit OVER AND OVER expecting different results?

          and i also don’t think women necessarily “keep it moving”. not to say its all women, but quite a few women manage to never quite get over shit…e.v.e.r.

          • V.E.G.

            “based on what you’re saying, it sounds like men are smart…and women are…insane?”

            This produced a very loud laugh that started deep in my gut.

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            “based on what you’re saying, it sounds like men are smart…and women are…insane?

            isn’t the definition of insanity doing shit OVER AND OVER expecting different results?”

            hmmm, ms ivy, i think p got you on this one.

          • Ivy St.

            I don’t think that men are smarter and women are insane. There are other underling factors here that aren’t being addressed. In that the self-esteem issues that many women have, men don’t have as a result of nurturing environment, up bringing, society, gender roles… the list goes on and on. So the fact that guys may see the larger picture could be that they lack the ability to see the importance of the little things and as a result treat everything the same. So when a different scenerio arises that may be similar to previous scenerios, they aren’t able to weed out the fine points in order to make a new decision at a new distant time. This idea may need a little more thought. I thought I’d throw it out there while I take a break from thnking about… the little things.

          • http://www.singleblackmale.net Single Black Male

            Panama … I think that is the definition.

            And I agree, they don’t just “move on”. The next man will hear about how all guys are not B**ch A$$ N****s as a result of this one guy.

        • http://www.myspace.com/Elendak Elenda

          @Ivy. PREACH sistah :-)

        • http://www.myspace.com/wudaman19 WuDaMan

          & even still Ivy st. women; multiple same relationship & break up men; one relationship and break up men<women emotionally speaking

      • http://www.myspace.com/Elendak Elenda

        Ummm, I would and I did :-)

    • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com Naturally Alise

      show me a BAB and I’ll show you a jerk with misdirected anger…. and there are lots out there!

      • http://www.myspace.com/wudaman19 WuDaMan

        **stigmata** but you sound a lil like their female counterpart. (with the blanket statement) @ the same token they may be men w/ low emotional iq… or even emotionally lazy.

    • V.E.G.

      Having two brothers, I definitely do not think men are more sensitive than women. But, I have witnessed first hand just how bad one chick can mess a guy up. Maybe women are gluttons for punishment and thrive on pain, but some of us seem to be able to maintain some level of faith that “the next one” will work out. Guys take a bit longer to get serious again after a ‘substantial’ relationship bites the dust.

      • miss t-lee

        I have 2 brothers as well, and they are far from sensitive.
        They are on the other side of the spectrum bordering on pure d. azzholeishness.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        yeah i tend to agree with what you’re saying V.E.G. i’ve been done grimey by a chick or two, and it turned me into straight SuperHo. i turned asshole on some no feelings type sh*t.

        • V.E.G.

          Yeah. A guy gets out of a 2 year relationship that ended badly for him. He spends the next 2 years “getting his stroke back” with random, nameless chicks.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        “Guys take a bit longer to get serious again after a ’substantial’ relationship bites the dust”

        this is true, but theres a distinct difference between “licking your wounds” and “being a bitter ass bastard”.

    • V Renee

      Men are WAAYYYY more sensitive than women. I say it all the time – Men could NOT endure half of the shyt that women go through – from the tweezing/waxing of eyebrows, to childbirth, to rejection, to Braizilian waxes, to being hit on by trollops. Pretty much any and everything :)

      • V.E.G.

        Now THAT I agree with. When I want someone to get tough, I say WOMAN up…it takes real strength to bleed 3-7 days (depending on your cycle) each month for years on end, have children and all the other stuff that comes with being female. Most men would assume the fetal positions if they had to go through what we go through.

        • http://vodkaandmilk.wordpress.com Vodka&Milk

          Amen!

        • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

          Men b*tch and moan when they have a damn COLD! There is a reason why women are the ones who go thru childbirth. Humankind would b EXTINCT right now if it were men’s responsibility.

          • V.E.G.

            So true. Lol.

            Interesting thing I’ve noticed: a man will whine and complain while he is sick, be unable to do ANYTHING, including clean up his own vomit, but will still try to freak you down. lol.

            • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

              “a man will whine and complain while he is sick, be unable to do ANYTHING, including clean up his own vomit, but will still try to freak you down. lol.”

              Yeah a snotty nose and red eyes is NOT sexy. Recover first, FREAK later.

              • http://www.myspace.com/wudaman19 WuDaMan

                you mean you never had a zombee ceks fantasy lol they love brain lol

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        hm…not to be nitpicky…but what does ANY of that have to do with being sensitive so much as its a higher threshold of pain?

        and i’d also like to mention that short of childbirth and menstruation, all of that other shit is largely of your own doing…

        and being hit on by trollops? shucks…me and the champ get hit on by trollops at least 8.3 times a day.

        we VSB!

        • V.E.G.

          True…we CHOOSE to allow some old Russian lady to bend us over, pour hot wax down our butt cracks and yank out the hair.

          But I don’t hear y’all complaining when we get it done. And some of y’all get pi$$y when we miss an appointment. Men helped create the (now hairless) monsters that you call modern-day women.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          “hm…not to be nitpicky…but what does ANY of that have to do with being sensitive so much as its a higher threshold of pain?

          and i’d also like to mention that short of childbirth and menstruation, all of that other shit is largely of your own doing…

          and being hit on by trollops? shucks…me and the champ get hit on by trollops at least 8.3 times a day.

          we VSB!”

          and to add on to p’s statement, we deal with rejection much, much, much better than you all ever do.

          • http://www.myspace.com/Elendak Elenda

            @Champ. I disagree. The man ego is a serious thing and men cannot deal with rejection. Hence, when anything happens causes the rejection a man will change his entire process or way of thinking to make sure he never feels that rejection again. Men are scared of rejection. Hell, since we are are bashing men today let me just put it out there. Men are truly wimps and fear pain and rejection.

            I agree that men could never endure the pains a female encounters. Hence why they are men.

            • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com Alise

              I disagree kinda with your statement…. I think most humans in general can’t handle rejection, how you cope is what makes the difference in your degree of BAB-ness, I mean a lot of us women don’t deal with it particularly well I must admit

            • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

              “I disagree. The man ego is a serious thing and men cannot deal with rejection. Hence, when anything happens causes the rejection a man will change his entire process or way of thinking to make sure he never feels that rejection again. Men are scared of rejection”

              if men were scared of rejection, then women would never get approached, we’d never ask for numbers, we’d never call after getting said number, we’d never make date plans, we’d never pay for said outing, we’d never invite women to our cribs so they cant see our “collection of exotic hangers” in person, we’d never attempt to bone said woman while in said apartment, and, since this is the exact scenario that accounts for at least 62 percent of all pregnancies, life on earth would cease to exist.

              in summary: we deal with potential rejection on a daily basis because without it, we’d all be dead.

              • shay

                i hate to admit it, but the mans got a point.

          • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

            i think the champ has got a point…men are constantly turned down by women and they still walk right up and talk to that next one. i gotta admire that!

    • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor Miss Patterson

      “Once they get hurt or perceive that they have been taken advantage of, they turn into BAB.”

      I agree with this statement Elenda. We (women) are much more likely to put our heart on the line again (and repeatedly) than a man who has been hurt. we have our special way of processing old hurt/baggage but we’ll still love again, but most men i know become instant BABs after they’ve been shot in the heart… i can think of about 10 brothas right off the top of my head that qualify for this title.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        “we have our special way of processing old hurt/baggage but we’ll still love again, but most men i know become instant BABs after they’ve been shot in the heart… i can think of about 10 brothas right off the top of my head that qualify for this title.”

        thing is (to our own credit), while women might take these issues into relationship after relationship, a scorned dude isn’t gonna do that. he’ll continue to fly solo (sans for occasional back-breaking) until he knows he’s ready to put himself out there again.

        the main difference between a BABastard and a BAB*tch is that at least the bastard has the decency not to try to have any serious committments with anyone.

        • V.E.G.

          “the main difference between a BABastard and a BAB*tch is that at least the bastard has the decency not to try to have any serious committments with anyone.”

          I will give you that one, Champ.

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            “I will give you that one, Champ.

            give? ha. i took that sh*t, lol

      • http://www.myspace.com/Elendak Elenda

        @Miss P. As soon as men admit they do this they will be better off. Self reflection truly works!

    • http://www.myspace.com/ka6sp9er Don Giovanni

      LOL!! Even though men are sensitive creatures, I wouldn’t say that men are more sensitive than women , but with anything that has developed a deep emotional involvement (friendship or romantic relationship), it is hard to let go, especially when you allowed someone to have a part of you that they kept asking for and you weren’t ready to give and they refused to reciprocate. Plus, we aren’t going to sit over to another guys house and cry on their shoulders while drinking Rieslings and deleting old photos!! It may take a minute or two, but we move on!!

      As for me and my recent breakup, there are unanswered questions that I had and still have that I know will never be answered because if she was dishonest and secretive during the relationship, then she will be the same evasive person afterward, if not more. I wrote my release, said my goodbyes and moved on!!

      And as usual, the only side to the story that is shared is the version of the person who tells it. The truth is nowhere involved!! Now the characteristics mentioned above have never been displayed by me and never will!! I look forward to the next opportunity for love, but you know I am all about the lust!! Besides, if all my relationships went smoothly, what would I have to write about?? ;-)

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        “Besides, if all my relationships went smoothly, what would I have to write about??”

        right. and we’d be out of business

  • http://www.blackfemmefatale.wordpress.com Jolie Fatale

    Does anyone know how to leave a GROUP VOICEMAIL? i have at least 10 people I need to tell today to “man the fugg up”! Oh and women with master’s degrees .. give great lollies. thank you very much!

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “Does anyone know how to leave a GROUP VOICEMAIL?”

      ask liz. shes the conference call ho, so she should know

      • http://www.myspace.com/circa1908 Intellectual Hedonist

        why she got to be a ho? can’t she be the conference call PIMP? I mean really a ho?

        **SMH**

        • genius khan

          Hedo men can be ho’s too. don’t be so sensitive. it’s like saying mankind, it includes women too.

          he was just using a pop culture cliche like:

          “clothes ho/w*ore”

          although maybe first inspired by a woman but also used to describe a man with a fetish for clothes.

          try it sometime u may like it.

          snarky but i likes it!

          • http://www.myspace.com/Elendak Elenda

            @Genius. I agree. Women and black people get so damns sentitive when it comes to being a called B***, Ho** and N****s. JS

          • Intellectual Hedonist

            Genius love, I wasn’t being sensitive.

            I totally agree with you about the gender neutrality of those terms, however my girl Liz is a woman and therefore was questioning the bottom status he gave her, I mean I know Liz and if anything she prolly the conference call pimp and not a b*tch at all.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          “why she got to be a ho? can’t she be the conference call PIMP? I mean really a ho?

          **SMH**”

          lol…ask her yourself. she knows why.

          • http://lizburr.com LIZ

            ROFL!!!!

            IH: Unbeknownst to you, The Champ calls me “the conference call whore” because I am ALWAYS on a conference call LOL. I can’t help it, I stay busy.

      • http://www.goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

        aaaaaaaaah! not the conference call ho!! WOW! that was just wrong! LMAO