“i don’t understand it, champ,” a friend said to me over a plate of undercooked cajun wings. “why does everyone assume i’m a vegetarian? it’s my hair, isn’t it?”
my reply –i explained that her aura (think lisa bonet in high fidelity) suggests certain personality traits– sparked a discussion about the inherent unfairness (and importance) involved with stereotyping. while its probably not fair to make immediate judgments based on ones appearance, we do it to protect ourselves; synthesizing past experiences to have an idea of what to expect from certain types of people.
this is extremely prevalent in the dating game. holleration is more parts science than art, and which women men choose to approach and how we choose to approach them is (usually) based on the same profiling protested in arizona now. there’s a reason most women claim they tend to get approached by “the same guy” over and over again.
anyway, (by my estimation) there are a dozen or so different “types” of black women. as a service from verysmartbrothas.com, here’s what a typical vsb usually assumes when he sees four of them.
probable interests: music made by rappers named with an intentional misspelling of “young”. red lobster. forever 21. tyler perry movies. professional sports. clubbing. fighting and/or f*cking in and/or after the club. orange soda.
best time to approach: at the club, during the second chorus of “bedrock“. while behind her in line at baby foot locker.
best compliment you can give her: “your daughters name is cute.”
best pick-up line: “what chu drinkin?”
probable interests: organizing book clubs with other, well-coiffed women, and spending the entire time at said book club discussing best ways to have sex without ruining weave. being seen at tyler perry movie premieres. vacations. vodka. the idea of beyonce.
best times to approach: during kenny latimore concert afterparty at essence festival. after being seen driving a maserati quattroporte.
best compliment you can give her: “that was the best p*ssy i’ve ever had.”
best pick-up line: “who’s your dentist?”
probable interests: sashimi. founding wittily titled groups on facebook. ex-boyfriends who happen to be dating white women. writing scathing letters to tyler perry. thinking of genius ways to stretch unemployment compensation. wishing hill harper was a bit taller and was able to clone himself like agent smith in the matrix
best time to approach: after she’s left a comment on your blog. while interviewing her for volunteer mentorship position
best compliment you can give her: “you should teach an art class.”
best pick up line: “have you read “the broke diaries”?”
probable interests: michelle obama. the food network. orphaned dachshunds. arguing in favor of the positive effect tyler perry has on black businesses. moving to cities with high suicide rates. ann taylor. making more money than every man she’ll ever date and/or marry. kickboxing.
best time to approach: while she’s standing next to charlie rangel at urban league happy hour. after hitting her prius with your shopping cart in trader joes parking lot.
best compliment you can give her: “you have the perfect handshake.”
best pick up line: “where can i find some efficient hiking gear?”
anyway, people of vsb.com: do you assign assumed characteristics to certain looks, and have you ever been a victim of dating profiling yourself?
also, do you tend to find yourself drawn to the same peripheral “type”? if so, why? if not, stop lying.
—the champ
***editors note. after reading a few of the comments (and seeing several of the vss’s trying to figure where exactly they fit) I think I need to make something clear. I’m not suggesting that the “looks” listed are the ONLY types of looks, lol. there are dozens of them, I just happened to list four random examples, and the assumptions that go along with them***
Can I look like I’m first?
You are as of 9:12 pm (PST)
I’m soooo curious to find out which of these I’d be profiled into.
Same here! I’m not sure if I fit into any of these. The last guy that I dated said that I was confusing to stereotype because he said that I was mix of a party girl and outdoorsy type.
People always try to stereotype me but they never get it right.. My Cousin once described me to a guy she was trying to hook me up with as ” The boujie(sp) girl who listens to dance-hall and Lil Wayne while working doing background investigations for the gov” lol
Lol!
that would be me too!
Same here. My brow is crinkled like a mofo tryin’ to pigeonhole myself into one of these categories. I have at least one quality in each one. lol
*reads*
*starts clapping slowly*
*starts clapping vigorously*
STANDING OVATION.
This is possibly one of the greatest posts you’ve ever written.
And Ladies, if you have to ask which slot you fit into, stop lying to yourself, you’re #4, and maybe #3 on a good day.
Well… that’s general.
*reads*
*starts clapping slowly*
*starts clapping vigorously*
STANDING OVATION.
This is possibly one of the greatest posts you’ve ever written.
thanks and sh*t. i always appreciate 80′s movie applause.
I’m always profiled as being mean and/or stuck-up, which I think is hilarious. Once they get past the initial ice grill it’s always “you’re actually quite nice.” Um…thank you? LMAO. I know I profile dudes all the time. Cornrows-hoodtastic ,pretty boys-oh no!, quiet dudes-possible freak, dj’s/singers/rappers- super slores. Just a few off the top of my head.
I’m always profiled as being mean and/or stuck-up, which I think is hilarious. Once they get past the initial ice grill it’s always “you’re actually quite nice.” Um…thank you? LMAO. I know I profile dudes all the time. Cornrows-hoodtastic ,pretty boys-oh no!, quiet dudes-possible freak, dj’s/singers/rappers- super slores. Just a few off the top of my head.
________________________________________________
Agreed…I’d like to know the association for athletes, loud fellas, goofy/nerdy types, and the businessman….
Yep, these make sense.
“Cornrows-hoodtastic ,pretty boys-oh no!, quiet dudes-possible freak, dj’s/singers/rappers- super slores.”
Plea deal, please?
…because I’m guilty of this too, especially, about the cornrows and the rappers.
Sounds like you are me and I am she!!! It’s amazing how many
peoplemen think that because you’re not grinning ear2ear, you’re mean. Because you’re fairly composed, your aloof. Then because they actually engage in convo with you, it’s bygones. Most often, my demeanor really makes sense when they find out I’m a NYer. My dude compartments pretty much mirror yours too.And I’m definitely the author of the scathing TP letter written while mixin’ it up with Charlie Rangel. The best compliment would probably be about my wit…
if I see a girl looking mean what else am I suppsoed to think if I dont know her?
“if I see a girl looking mean what else am I suppsoed to think if I dont know her?”
that she likes jello? i don’t know. i’m clueless about this as well
“if I see a girl looking mean what else am I suppsoed to think if I dont know her?”
That she just may be having a bad day? Don’t always assume the worst in people; you’ll miss he eff out. Now, if you see her everyday and she always looks like that, I say it’s fair to assume she’s mean. lol
Well, if you don’t know her, then you know she’s not mad at you… UNLESS, you are known for many nights of drunkenness and debauchery, and you can’t remember defiling her and leaving that $20 on her nightstand without a word before creeping out; in that case, that gas face may be just for you. If not, go ahead and make her day by lying and saying something like you would pay to see her smile or some other corny line.
Seriously though, it’s a risk to approach us when we’re flashing the ice grill, but I would say 7 to 8 times out of 10, saying something will be well received, and could almost make you ‘Super Man coming to save the day’ if you really say the right thing.
@Deviant,
We are profiling here, so…I get it…lol
I have never heard the word ‘aloof’ actually used in everyday conversation more than I have since I started following Black relationship blogs. What is up with the brothas and their use of that bottom level SAT word? That chick is not ‘aloof’… just quit being a punk and go talk to her!
“What is up with the brothas and their use of that bottom level SAT word? ”
LMAO!!!!!!!! I don’t know you yet, but I like your style.
@miss t-lee
But you’re feeling me though, right? I can’t stand brothas describing a sista as ‘aloof’. So am I suppose to be punished because I’m daydreaming about ‘get rich quick’ schemes such as pimpin’ AVON/Mary Kay, selling non-bake cheesecakes at indoor flea markets, or moonlighting as a pole dancer, so I can have the bread to get my hair done, my nails done, my bikini line done, and buy low-cut dresses and expensive, uncomfortable azz stilettos, all so I will be ready at the very second, the very moment a brotha in PITTSBURGH comes over and says “Hi, my name is…” See, I just have a lot on my mind… but then again, my mind wouldn’t be so cluttered if you would have just holla’d at my ‘aloof’ azz on the PAT bus.
“I’m always profiled as being mean and/or stuck-up, which I think is hilarious”
i think this has more to do with the throat punching than the ice grill
LOL!!! You could be right.
I gotta say, Champ sir, this is pretty doggone accurate! One of my BFFs is a prototype of #4….the other is a straight #1 (same outfit and all)….MAN, this is gonna make for some teasin’….
@MsPW. Athletes~dim until proven otherwise, loud fellas~ normally all talk, goofy/nerdy types~stealthy, business man~cocky. Of course these are only “profiles”…lol
@miss t-lee,
“Athletes~dim until proven otherwise, loud fellas~ normally all talk, goofy/nerdy types~stealthy, business man~cocky. Of course these are only “profiles”…lol”
^Agreed. In my “profile” Athletes are also slores, have a lot of groupies, 50/11 kids, possibly rife with disease, and have a sense of entitlement. I know, I’m cold. See, the cool thing with me profiling if that I can be critical of myself and laugh when I’m being really biased. But until they prove otherwise…..I kid! LOL!
Athletes are also slores, have a lot of groupies, 50/11 kids, possibly rife with disease, and have a sense of entitlement
hey! i take offense to that!!! (unless you’re referring to professional athletes only, and not college. in that case, carry on and sh*t)
@Champ, No offense intended. I said “I kid!”. Yes, I know more than a few athletes who are good dudes and none of the above. College and Professional, included.
“unless you’re referring to professional athletes only, and not college. in that case, carry on and sh*t”
Champie, playing college-level hopscotch doesn’t really make you an athlete.
WTF, how did “champ” get up there as my name. I swear I typed Cheekie. Guess karma is a bish, huh. Hmph..
Co-sign completely on the stealthy nature of the nerdy good-on-paper types…
And may I add greeks to the slore heading under athletes (pro AND college, sorry Champ) and musicians?
And may I add greeks to the slore heading under athletes (pro AND college, sorry Champ) and musicians?
_______________________________________________
Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa on the addition to the musical slores….could we talk about this addition first? I don’t see it! I mean, I’m there with you as far as (most) Greeks (even if they are Iotas) but musicians? I can’t make the connection…
Lol@ the Iota reference! We had ONE little sad Iota at my school. He didn’t even go to class, he stayed so busy trying to recruit…
As to musician’s being on the list- that was miss t-lee’s addition, but I would imagine that any guy who gets a lot of shine (for whatever reason) will attract a lot of doing-the-most type chicks. And she didn’t actually say all musicians- that was my paraphrasing, so maybe this doesn’t apply to bass players,flautists and the like…although I feel like you probably couldn’t trust a man who played the flute for other reasons…
“As to musician’s being on the list- that was miss t-lee’s addition”
Oh no no!!
I said “dj’s/rappers/singers”, I think musicians should be in another category. Those kats are more stealthy too…lol
Somewhere a man who plays the viola is crying.
Yeah, musicians are pretty slew….their talent and charm earns them points 4 beating down jointz…I’ve seen it take place in the wild #bootyassasins
points 4 jointz….nice
I think it should be interjected that it completely depends on the instrument/genre. a frontman in an R&B band is going to get innumerably more panty slingshots whilst on stage (and backstage) than the 2nd viola in the philharmonic. it’s just the way of the world.
im not understanding the 3rd stereotype. you see natural hair and assume she’s unemployed and artsy?
“you see natural hair and assume she’s unemployed and artsy?”
those weren’t meant to be taken literally. but, if i walked into a club and saw someone that looked like her, i’d assume she was into writing and sh*t, and probably worked in education, the arts, or a non-profit.
haha, why is the dark skinned one the baby mama and the light skinned one the sister that hates tyler perry? when you said profile, i thought you meant an original take on an old idea
haha, why is the dark skinned one the baby mama and the light skinned one the sister that hates tyler perry? when you said profile, i thought you meant an original take on an old idea
because i’m colorstruck. duh. welcome and sh*t, btw
I can say for sure I’m initially deemed snooty/high-maintenance & that couldn’t be further from the truth. Ppl have also assumed right off bat that I’m very smart- also false. I am a SSS (Slighty Smart Sista/Sorta Smart Sista… take your pick). LOL.
Oh. Along w/ the previously mentioned two, quite a few guys have thought that I’m not into comedy or if I am it has to PG. No Sir! You can be as mean & crass as you wanna be (to a small extent). I didn’t care if the grape lady might’ve been hurt, I cracked up. If it’s funny… I’ma laughin!
I have to think about how I’ve stereotyped ppl….
“You can be as mean & crass as you wanna be (to a small extent)”:
lol, i smell a contradiction here
I tend to do that more than I’d like to admit.
Champ, I DO NOT wish Hill Harper was taller! Darker maybe… wait what? Oh u weren’t talmbout me? I mean, I felt like u were.
*walks out*
*walks back in*
What was your favorite part in the “Broke Diaries?” Mine was when she went to the poetry set. REVOLUTION! Yeah. And when she found 1 grit in her cabinet. Yes, 1 GRIT.
Oh yeah… I forgot. This ain’t bout me.
Mine was when she used the cat dish to make food for the work pot luck. Lol
Mine was both the open-mic night REVOLUTION! and the check cashing joint. Her description of the old lady wheezing in intervals and the big dude trying to talk to her will forever have me dying!!!
“What was your favorite part in the “Broke Diaries?” Mine was when she went to the poetry set. REVOLUTION! Yeah. And when she found 1 grit in her cabinet. Yes, 1 GRIT”
mine is the new years eve chapter, when she’s out with the guy who has a crush on her
Everybody and their grandpa was telling me about this book, and interestingly enough, a couple days ago, I had planned to go to Borders to pick it up today. I’m tryin’ to use this 40% coupon. #thriftynotcheap
Anyhow, that damn book ain’t in NO Borders stores, so I’mma ask them can they get it offsite and deliver it to the store.
I think we may have talked about this on here before, but I feel ya on using those Borders coupons you get in your email. I am trying to figure what I want to cop on Blu-Ray with mine.
Yeah man…I was just trying to think of a book I want to read…40%…that’s ALMOST half off,lol
@LaBakir,
It’s off ANY one item so if you can’t think of a book, get a movie or CD! I know it don’t work on magazines.
@ComicBookGuy,
I know, right? I don’t play when I get those 30%, 33%, and LOVELY 40% coupons. I just ordered The Broke Diaries to ship to the store and I got it for 6 bucks. Boomboompow.
@Cheekie,
That’s what I am talking about. Those coupons have really helped the Blu-Ray collection grow.
@ Cheekie
I don’t blame ya girl, I don’t set foot up in Border’s without that 40% off. Thifty FTW.
@Cheekie, LaBakir, and ComicBookGuy
I’m glad you all mentioned this coupon. I checked my email and had one also. It’s funny because I’ve been waiting on a coupon from them all week. I rarely go to Borders without a coupon.
So you say the Broke Diaries isn’t in Borders? Can they get it? I’m looking for 2 more books to read and I think this might be one of them. If no one is using their coupon send it to me. I want to get a DVD too.
Yeah, only going to Borders if I have a coupon is my damn trademark. My sister always makes fun of me for it, but I have the last laugh. A 10 dollar book for 6 bucks! You ain’t fresh azimiz!
@Humble_One,
“So you say the Broke Diaries isn’t in Borders? Can they get it? I’m looking for 2 more books to read and I think this might be one of them. If no one is using their coupon send it to me. I want to get a DVD too.”
It’s basically out of stock in every Chicago Borders, not sure about your city. But it IS online so they DO have it in general. You can get it shipped to the store if it’s not in-store for no shipping charges. I’ve ordered mine (6 bucks!! whoop there it is) and it should be at the store soon. Can’t wait to read it during my train commutes!
Lol @ luvvie!!!
My fav part was whe she fought the cat over that last bowl of grits!!
so i just about keeled over in laughter at the fact that my hair looks like numero 3 and i had an interview for a mentoring program today. bwahahahaha. i wrote a scathing blog post (although unpublished as of yet) to tyler perry for his misrepresentation of Black Men (don’t all his movies seem as though a woman wrote them? iongetit.) and we won’t even revisit that entire YEAR i managed to collect unemployment while writing my book. i’d say it was pretty genius. lmbo. so so so dead.
and… i already taught an art class. lmbo.
*hangs head in shame*
funny thing is… i have a lot of #2 traits as well. cause i switch up and such. lol.
great post. had me in stitches. acting like you know me and such. lmbo.
I’m a creative one too, Muze. Don’t hang you head for teaching art. We need art! I shared traits of the different types offered too
I’m a # 3 all the way and yes indeed we do need art. It’s who we are!!!!
Ain’t nothin’ wrong with a little art
No need to be ashamed.
It helps make life beautiful and comprehensible at times. I introduced my ESL students to Langston Hughes talkin’ about dreams. I think you, @legitimate_soul and I would be friends in real life. haha.
“so i just about keeled over in laughter at the fact that my hair looks like numero 3 and i had an interview for a mentoring program today. bwahahahaha. i wrote a scathing blog post (although unpublished as of yet) to tyler perry for his misrepresentation of Black Men (don’t all his movies seem as though a woman wrote them? iongetit.) and we won’t even revisit that entire YEAR i managed to collect unemployment while writing my book. i’d say it was pretty genius. lmbo. so so so dead.”
smh. just stay away from my non-stick pans. we all know number 3′s love non-stick pans.
@Muze & legitimate_soul
My brother is an artist and at one time was trying to teach art in school. I wish artist were appreciated more. Although you creatives can be weirdos and kooks I truly appreciate you. It’s is hard as hell to try to make a living off of it.
@ Humble One,
“My brother is an artist and at one time was trying to teach art in school. I wish artist were appreciated more. Although you creatives can be weirdos and kooks I truly appreciate you. It’s is hard as hell to try to make a living off of it.”
I feel your brother’s struggle. Finding a full time job teaching art is hard (most are summer positions, a few in schools, hence a teaching credential issue, a few at non-profits) and the pay may not be competitive. The good positions are still held by artists that taught us or have already made a name for themselves. They are not retiring or leaving (I don’t blame them). Also, when some positions come up it is very specialized (painting, printmaking, textiles, ceramics, writing, music) and it’s hard to be a jack of all trades and still be focused on the one area needed. The position might also be in Bumblefcuk, USA.
I also find I don’t like being told what art to do or to make changes or revisions that I think may suck (when I was doing graphic design). As a result, I changed careers and I no longer do art for a living. I rather create at my leisure and if you like it, you can buy it. However, lately, I have done more admiring of other’s art than creating.
@legitimate_soul
“I also find I don’t like being told what art to do or to make changes or revisions that I think may suck (when I was doing graphic design). As a result, I changed careers and I no longer do art for a living. I rather create at my leisure and if you like it, you can buy it. However, lately, I have done more admiring of other’s art than creating.”
My brother does graphic design. He graduated with a degree in it. Now he is trying to figure out what moves to make now for the exact same reasons you listed. Your story and my brother’s are very similar.
“to tyler perry for his misrepresentation of Black Men (don’t all his movies seem as though a woman wrote them? iongetit.) ”
Yeah, he’s way more bitter towards Black Men (especially darker skinned ones) than any woman could be.
“to tyler perry for his misrepresentation of Black Men (don’t all his movies seem as though a woman wrote them? iongetit.) ”
This is one of my main problems with Tyler. He can’t write male dialogue/interaction for sh*t. He needs to look at some pictures of Jayne Kennedy or punch Allen Payne in the face while he’s developing his male characters…whatever he needs to do to get his testosterone levels up. Just my thoughts.
Is it self hate, you think? Or more of an outward aggression? Maybe I should work on my “artsy” blog post to ask him.
Muze, I scroll down to get to my comment and think your avatar was mine, at least 10 times a day. LOL
It’s funny because you came to mind as I read #3. LOL
Guess it’s from reading your blog for quite some time now.
I’m sure I have been profiled. I will chill, peep the scene, catch the vibe and then come out of my shell. Because of this, an ex thought that when he approached me I was passive, quiet, meek and a counter-balance to his fiery aggressiveness. Although, I am composed in the appropriate venues, friendly, and easy-going, I grew up as a nerd in the hood with a comedic spirit. I am definitely not meek. Then, there are the physical stereotypes everyone contends with.
Yes, I have profiled, but to be fair I try to leave an open mind and check for behavior and actions to verify. But some things are in the “C’mon son!/Heyall Naw!” zone and thus no need to question your instincts.
I will chill, peep the scene, catch the vibe and then come out of my shell. Because of this, an ex thought that when he approached me I was passive, quiet, meek and a counter-balance to his fiery aggressiveness. Although, I am composed in the appropriate venues, friendly, and easy-going, I grew up as a nerd in the hood with a comedic spirit. I am definitely not meek.
Wait a minute! Did I write this? Is your ex a short dude from LA who drives a green truck? People drive me crazy when they assume that I’m an über conservative bookworm who wouldn’t know a good time if it introduced itself with a valid state driver’s license. Just because I know how to act appropriately in a variety of situations and I don’t demand to be the demand the attention of everyone, everywhere, at all times doesn’t mean I don’t like to let my hair
weavedown sometimes.legitimate_soul, AtypicalLibrarian, are we the same person?
because this: “I’m sure I have been profiled. I will chill, peep the scene, catch the vibe and then come out of my shell”, and this: “Just because I know how to act appropriately in a variety of situations and I don’t demand to be the demand the attention of everyone, everywhere, at all times doesn’t mean I don’t like to let my hair weave down sometimes.” describe me perfectly!!
AMEN!!
I will chill, peep the scene, catch the vibe and then come out of my shell. Because of this, an ex thought that when he approached me I was passive, quiet, meek and a counter-balance to his fiery aggressiveness. Although, I am composed in the appropriate venues, friendly, and easy-going, I grew up as a nerd in the hood with a comedic spirit. I am definitely not meek.
Are you my twin????
That should’ve been “demand to be the center of attention” but I think y’all know what I meant!
a plus, maybe you me legitimate_soul and T’Lu could start “wittily titled groups on facebook.”
you four (atypical, legitmate, a plus, and t’lu) should get a room.
@AtypicalLibrarian, a plus, T’Lu,
Wow! I had no idea when I typed that out how many of us would have that in common. AtypicalLibrarian, naw, we dated different dudes, lol!
Champ, you know you wanna sit in the room with us, chop it, and soak up our company. We got rum and coke too, lol!
It’s definitely natural to stereotype and although there are various layers to people, careful pre-judging is a great way of weeding out individuals or knowing something about their character or personality. With that said, I can’t stand when people say they “don’t judge” or they “don’t stereotype people”. You’re lying.
I my have to disagree that stereotyping is natural. I think in the western world stereotyping is a habit we tend to pick up.
Prejudging may be what you’re referring to.
I think people waste valuable time stereotyping and so called ‘weeding out” when they should be asking why they are programmed to stereotype.
Just my 2 Euros
“I my have to disagree that stereotyping is natural. I think in the western world stereotyping is a habit we tend to pick up.
Prejudging may be what you’re referring to.”
nah. this is a human trait, learned to protect ourselves from predators. everybody everywhere makes prejudgments based on past experience and context. if we didnt we’d all be dead
“nah. this is a human trait, learned to protect ourselves from predators. everybody everywhere makes prejudgments based on past experience and context. if we didnt we’d all be dead”
Dont know bout that champ.
A “trait” would be genetic wouldnt it? Recessive or dominant?
I see what you mean about predators. But I think within the same species it would be to protect from different tribes/clans etc..
BTW I’m in the UK so I’m always late with the replies.
Jumping in here-
All traits, even those attributed to genetic factors like those to increase survival, are enhanced with further study. Think about AA’s ability to sort the slaves who were serious about escaping from the ones just flapping their gums. That took some stereotyping and prejudgement. No fun getting caught in an open field waiting for the seventh moon on the sunny side if massah’s waiting there, too.
Are you saying in the UK you guys don’t prejudge or profile in your association? What do you call it then? Because there are several bars and such in London that only cater to certain “types.” What would you call that?
And let’s not even discuss Northern Ireland. They hate each other and they have the same skin color and hair. Not even light skin, dark skin issues…LOL
I think prejudging and stereotyping goes hand-in-hand because we prejudge based on stereotypes. I definitely don’t consider it to be exclusive to the western world either because I have definitely came across my share of Europeans and Africans who stereotype Black Americans (and Americans as general) based on what they’ve been exposed to.
Also, I don’t see the point in investing time trying to figure out the “why” in which certain stereotypes exist. The ugly truth is that there is truth in most stereotypes. Not saying that it’s right or wrong or we shouldn’t look beyond the surface or give the benefit of a doubt, but stereotypes usually have some type of history associated with them and not merely imaginary.
The thing about stereotyping is that they aren’t all wrong and negative. There are some that are based on generalized truths and others that are based on ignorance and misconceptions.
Knowledge is power.
*Insert the more you know shooting star.
The thing about stereotypes is that they aren’t all wrong and negative. There are some that are rooted in generalized truths and others are based on ignorance and misconceived notions.
ie: Black people are quick to say that Black people are never on time. This is a generalization that unfortunately is truth more often than it is not (at least with most of the black people i know/events i’ve been to). I’m a planner so time is ALWAYS money and I’m usually early (meaning, salty cuz i’m usually waiting for people).
Either way, the key is to not let your pre-judgements stop you from living the best life you can, which includes getting to know a person for real. Self-fulling prophecies aren’t cute. Neither are I-told-you-soers.
Yup, Champ…I profile folks all the time, usually based on the same superficial trappings everyone else is using to make a judgement call. And most of the time it turns out to be a whatcha see is whatcha get kind of thing.
But my favorite moments are when I’m completely wrong about someone…like finding out the club sista has more common sense than most of her well-read, accomplished counterparts, or hearing that this cocky fool in my office, the one rockin’ Armani and a Rolex, is living check to check. Or reading about some old bag lady dying and leaving a sh*tload of money to an HBCU.
Keeps life interesting and me on my toes.
@Fallen Angel
“But my favorite moments are when I’m completely wrong about someone”
It’s so refreshing to me!
“But my favorite moments are when I’m completely wrong about someone…like finding out the club sista has more common sense than most of her well-read, accomplished counterparts, or hearing that this cocky fool in my office, the one rockin’ Armani and a Rolex, is living check to check. Or reading about some old bag lady dying and leaving a sh*tload of money to an HBCU.”
good point. sometimes people throw you completely through the loop
Interesting. Very Interesting. I seem to attract that Peurto Ricanny lookin fella that usually says something like ” Hey sista…do u go running?”. Idk just thought I’d share. I would say I am closer to a #3 I guess.
“Interesting. Very Interesting. I seem to attract that Peurto Ricanny lookin fella that usually says something like ” Hey sista…do u go running?””
so you attract illegals?
Um, Idk where I fit either. I’m just a smarter than average brown girl from Bankhead who can still get with some sashimi, but will f*ck up a 3 piece and a biscuit
w/strawberry sodafrom Popeyes. I adore Audre Lorde but will still grind the hell outta a dude in your local dancehall.The best way I can see myself is a lotta Kim Reese, a hint of Lena with a splash of Whitley Gilbert (minus the trust fund).
@I’ll give it a try,
i’m a ADW fan, too! i watch old episodes on youtube, lol. over all, i’d say i’m most like dwayne wayne but i outwardly, i have whitley’s tendencies and inside i have freddie’s heart.
airing re-runs of a different world is the best thing tv one has ever done
@a plus, i watch’em on youtube!
@I’ll give it a try, overall, i think i’m most like dwayne wayne, but with whitley’s tendencies and freddie’s heart.
A Different World remains my fav television show ever.
it’s actually the initial reason i wanted to attend Spelman. lol. shame i know. i ONLY applied there. that’s how convinced that show had me.
:: is behind Door No. 3 ::
:: does not wear natural hair, however. would consider it, if natural-haired women didn’t think they were better than those of us who get relaxers. I’m not assimilating, b*tch… i digress ::
Also, I feel like you (the Champ) knew this would happen– instead of answering the call of the question posed by the post, we’d come on here and announce which of these archetypes we mesh with, knowing that we’re probably as inaccurate as Dwight Howard at the free-throw line. I think asking a woman to describe herself is a waste of time.
Think, “what do you like to do?” ( read, go to wine tastings, watch independent cinema, writing poetry). Waste of time.
Truth= “what do you actually find yourself doing, on any given day?” (Reading TheYBF.com, drinking cheap vodka, watching Basketball Wives, texting the homegirls.)
But, nobody wants truth and accuracy, so I humbly re-affirm my position behind Door No. 3
Sadly my reply to your comments aren’t really on topic….butttt……
“:: does not wear natural hair, however. would consider it, if natural-haired women didn’t think they were better than those of us who get relaxers. I’m not assimilating, b*tch… i digress ::”
Wanna go half on a billboard for this message? Geez!
“Also, I feel like you (the Champ) knew this would happen– instead of answering the call of the question posed by the post, we’d come on here and announce which of these archetypes we mesh with, knowing that we’re probably as inaccurate as Dwight Howard at the free-throw line. I think asking a woman to describe herself is a waste of time.”
Can we just ask DH to practice from the FT line a few times before bed? Like…please?
Probably some of the best of my older sister gave me when I was in college trying to meet girls: ask a woman what is her form of escapism? What does she like to do get away from everything and everyone?
It could be a place, a thing to do, something that lets her more than relax, but truly escape from everything. For the women in my family, and since my mom is an English teacher, their escapism is reading. Mom loves romance novels, the little one loves black romance novels and the older one loves science fiction. I’m the odd ball that reads comic books and magazines.
That question has stopped a few women in their tracks because they are used to being asked that question and plus it really encompasses all of the typical questions you may ask a woman to get know her. It kinda makes them dig a little deeper and think because some of them have never thought about it. For me, the kind of answer I get tells me enough to see if the woman is worth the time.
AH! Immediately when you posed that question I said, out loud, “read”. My mother’s an English teacher too.
I started reading at the age of two yrs old (no lie). I love to read!
That and Barbies was my escape as a little girl, now just reading. A Beverly Jenkins historical romance novel and I’m no good to anyone.
@Penelope
“we’d come on here and announce which of these archetypes we mesh with, knowing that we’re probably as inaccurate as Dwight Howard at the free-throw line. I think asking a woman to describe herself is a waste of time.”
What’s so wrong with discussing which archetypes we feel we mesh with? Because someone says they like to do something they don’t/can’t do often doesn’t make it untrue. It can be interesting to comparatively read what others feel about themselves and share some of our own. But that’s just me.
“:: does not wear natural hair, however. would consider it, if natural-haired women didn’t think they were better than those of us who get relaxers. I’m not assimilating, b*tch… i digress ::”
Wanna go half on a billboard for this message? Geez!
____________________________________________________
Penelope, I’ll put in a 3rd on that billboard that Toni Childs (best screen name ever) is talkinbout!
@ atypicallibrian
so happy that you recognize what/who the ‘name’ is!
“I think asking a woman to describe herself is a waste of time.”
lol. i’d agree
knowing that we’re probably as inaccurate as Dwight Howard at the free-throw line.
LOL!!!
half far gone!!!
@Penelope
:: does not wear natural hair, however. would consider it, if natural-haired women didn’t think they were better than those of us who get relaxers. I’m not assimilating, b*tch… i digress :
this made me laugh. lol. i am a proud rocker of natural hair… but i’ve never understood how wearing your hair in one way or another could make you ‘better’ than another woman choosing to wear her’s different. 98% of black women have had a perm in their life and just because you HAD to go natural bc you let leroy burn your hair out with one, doesn’t make you elevated or any better than the next woman. the same as wearing your hair straight doesn’t make you more professional than the girl with natural hair.
i actually had to disassociate myself from a certain natural hair site because of the overall wrath they had against straightening, weaves, wigs, etc. i believe people should be able to look and do as they please, and i straighten my hair, wear wigs, weaves, rock my fro… whatever i feel… on a regular basis. there are much bigger issues black people face than how one chooses to wear their hair. ludicrous man.
sorry for the long comment… struck a nerve. lol.
Muze,
Your point hits-the-nail-on-the-head. As African Americans, Blacks, Nubians or whatever we call ourselves, we find ways to discriminate against each other. Whether it’s “white-collar vs. blue-collar, natural vs. weave, greek organizations vs. non-greek, light-skin vs. dark skin, we continue to divide ourselves AGAINST ourselves.
The sad thing about this is that YOU & I become a member of one of these GROUPS whether we want to or not. In my past, I’ve been guilty of not giving “light-skinned” sisters the time of because I also fell victim to this “sick mentality”. As Spike Lee said, “We’ve got to WAKE UP”.
hmmm. guys peg me as #2–the arm candy. though i have locs, i’m a lil bougie and though i’m active in the community, they never take my activities seriously. sexually, they don’t think i’ll be freak-in-da-bed or demanding. men see me as a (socially acceptable) asset but not an equal. however, at heart, i’m closer to #3 and #4. men are always intimidated and/or overwhelmed by my drive, passion and vision. it scares them when i don’t back down and that i actually walk my talk–and expect them to, too!
my stereotypes? i’m always wary of the fly in the buttermilk “brotha” because he usually loves being their ‘one black friend’. the activists are sexy but sexist. older africans are holier-than-thou and judgmental. assimilated africans are scary because while they seem cartoonish with their exaggerated hood swagga, they will cut a mutha.
“the activists are sexy but sexist.”
i’ve heard this a few times before (that the “activist” brothas tend to be the most misogynistic), but those concepts seem to contradict
one would think they would contradict. black men want to change the power structure when it comes to racism because they are disadvantaged but when it comes to sexism they want to keep their power.
hmmm, interesting post once again…specially the tag “posting pictures of women who can get it”..-so does that mean that you don’t actually stereotype Champikins??? anywho-I too have traits from each of the different ones shown but most of the time I have been told that I come off as the tough type…nothing could be further than the truth though, it’s purely a defense mechanism, so as we all know stereotyping ain’t the way to go for pretty much anything-DISCLAIMER ALERT*except of course your typical pants saggin, cornrow wearing-hooodspeakin (nahwhaimean)- “negro-handjive participatin”(shouts out to Wu Young Agent of M.E)-walka flocka listenin-ordinary ninja -and BTW I really do love it when i can quote some funnyass ish from here…y’all really do make my day
“hmmm, interesting post once again…specially the tag “posting pictures of women who can get it”..-so does that mean that you don’t actually stereotype Champikins???”
lol, i stereotype like hell. unlike john mayer, though, my d*ck appreciates sistas of all types
‘Preciate the shout out!
I swear I’m keeping my own personal list of things that make me LLS, and that right there is at the top of the list…just didn’t realize I’d be able to use it so soon
Use it as often as you like.
Well, as usual, I’m confused. I really don’t think I fit into any of these. Where’s the good ole girl next door type?
Oh yeah to answer your questions….
**do you assign assumed characteristics to certain looks**
yes, though I’m not sure I can bundle my assumptions up into 4 neat categories like you did. I’d say:
metrosexual looking dudes=Diva dudes
Ques(different from omega men)=dogs
sigmas= well mannered country boys
alphas=nerds/corporate execs
locs= musician/artist/non traditional job
pants sagging=ignant
pretty boys=cocky/arrogant
** have you ever been a victim of dating profiling yourself?**
I’m sure I have. Just last week a guy approached me and after talking fir a while said you’re cooler than I thought you’d be. What???? I asked. He said he’d been watching me for awhile and thought I was attractive and attractive women usually are stuck up/snobbish but I was cool. I was like um-Kay. I’ve had some guys tell me I didn’t seem approachable in the past. I don’t get it. I do Blane some if it in the fact that I don’t smile all the time.
**also, do you tend to find yourself drawn to the same peripheral “type”? if so, why? if not, stop lying.**
seriously I’m not drawn to the same peripheral. My last three “interests” have been an attractive puerto rican musician; a sigma-avg height,looks, weight,etc- that had a crush on me in high school (darn Facebook), and nice church going guy with a pot belly. None of these guys share any physical traits and very few personality traits.
yo, after reading a few of the comments (and seeing several of the vss’s trying to figure where exactly they fit) I think I need to make something clear. I’m not suggesting that the “looks” listed are the ONLY types of looks, lol. there are dozens of them, I just happened to list four random examples, and the assumptions that go along with them.
@Champ,
thanks cuz I was confused. I guess I “look” the most like 3 or 4 (minus the natural hair) simply because they’re the most “average” looking…
@Champ,
I’m beginning to think we need a “send in your pic for an unbiased VSB rating and evaluation” day. I would actually welcome a truthful review.
I volunteer to help Liz with the guys
“I’m beginning to think we need a “send in your pic for an unbiased VSB rating and evaluation” day. I would actually welcome a truthful review.”
lol, trust me. this is a terrible, terrible idea.
@The Champ
“lol, trust me. this is a terrible, terrible idea.”
Cosign. I don’t need reaffirmation of my 1.5ness.
Awwww… even if we round up?
Liz has been volun-told??
There’s nobody on this list who even remotely looks like me. *womp* Anyhow, I get profiled all the time. People don’t think I read, like the outdoors, or cook. Basically, they don’t think I look particularly smart. I guess this is why I attract Kappas! LOL I laugh because it hurts. J/K It used to bother me but doesn’t at all anymore.
I do stereotype. But I do it based mostly on conversation. A man who talks to much? Lonely. A man who offers back-handed complement? A loser in HS who probably still harbors a lot of ill feelings towards women who don’t look smart. A man who is telling me what other women do for him? He’s used to dumb women or super young women.
@ Ms. Smart,
I think I agree that my profiling is more off of looks WITH convo. I’m not very observant so I’m probably not stereotyping dudes that pass me by, we need to exchange words before I’m really trying to size you up.
“do you assign assumed characteristics to certain looks”
Yes, but I try not to let them guide me. Although, past experience should remind me that crazy is as crazy does the guys who are into feelings, inveritably have too many and will add more stress than they’re worth. I digress.
“and have you ever been a victim of dating profiling yourself?”
Probably, but more so based on setting, like where one happens to be. For instance if one posts up at certain places you’re more likely to run into certain archetypes (independent coffee houses/Whole Foods/thrift stores usually attract a different breed from country clubs/networking hours/etc.)
“also, do you tend to find yourself drawn to the same peripheral “type”? if so, why? if not, stop lying.” yep. if someone even has a hint of wandering hippie, searching artist I’m all over it. In a figurative sense.
Great post The Champ.
@KayBreezy,
I agree it all depends on where you are and how you’re dressed. I attract a certain kind of guy when I’m a Walmart in jeans, than when I’m out in a dress, then when I’m grocery shopping in my gym clothes.
Ditto. it really does depend on how you look and where you are.
**can I just add that I hate I have to put my info in every single time I post now, sup with that?!***
@Reecie
**can I just add that I hate I have to put my info in every single time I post now, sup with that?!***
DITTO FOR ME!!!
I agree I thought it was my iPhone doing something crazy v
**can I just add that I hate I have to put my info in every single time I post now, sup with that?!***
yeah, i know the new comment thing is kind of inconvenient. we’re working on it
Same here! It really decreases the chance of me being able to swiftly click away from this page when my boss comes around.
can I just add that I hate I have to put my info in every single time I post now, sup with that?!***
i’m co-signing too!
(Sorry Champ)
Champ I have nothing of note to add right now, but thank you for the Angela Basset pic. That made my morning.
*walking away from my desk singing River deep- Mountain high*
“Sometimes we like to do it nice and eeeeezy”- lol
I knew I wasn’t the only one that felt that way. Pictures 2, 3 and 4 definitely perked me up this morning.
Guys profile me as the saditty Southern debutante. Not true at all! My poor yankee mother didn’t have the sense to let me debut >:(
see, after seeing you, i’d peg you as number three
I’m actually a #3 with #2 tendencies and #4 ambition. Or is that a whole ‘nother category? lol
I’m a cross between “sashimi girl” and “Lady Obama” with just a whisper of “club girl” because I do enjoy an occassional night on the town with my girls…and you can always get to me by complimenting my children..
I seem to get profiled as “stuck up” and “mean” all the time…and most of the men are thorougly shocked and pleased that I am neither, once they get to know me…
I have dated across the spectrum of guys..My ex-husband was white collar, corporate, kinda stuffy…..conservative. My current SO is the utter and complete opposite and its so refreshing….
“I seem to get profiled as “stuck up” and “mean” all the time…and most of the men are thorougly shocked and pleased that I am neither, once they get to know me”
lol, just once i want to hear or read somebody say “you know, men always assume i’m stuck up…and they’re right. i’m stuck up as hell. if you even think about talking to me with your steve madden ass i’ll cut your big toe”
I stay at the vending machine getting a orange Fanta or Sunkist when no one’s looking and an unexpected cherry soda will make my week! I also enjoy book clubs
with other, well-coiffed women, and spending the entire time at said book club discussing best ways to have sex without ruining weave,vacations, and volunteering. I adopted an abandoned, possibly orphaned, dog last year and Michelle Obama is my homie.People peg me as smart, quiet, bourgeois, and “different” (read: boring). I’m not attracted to a particular type of man (not lying) and my cousins and nem were surprised when they met my former SO who had more than a few hood tendencies. I’ve dated blue and white collar dudes big, tall, short, and small. Some had degrees, some were drop-outs, an aspiring musician–the real instrument kind, and a would-be rapper (fail).
I try not to discriminate but I think appearance is sometimes reflects the mind state. I recently met a “man” at a Chinese restaurant dressed in a fresh white t, a NY fitted, jeans, and some patriotic Air Force Ones. He had topaz studs in each ear and was 37 if he was a day. He spoke with an overly affected NY accent–why do some NYers think we Southerners are so assbackward that we’ll be impressed by their accent? I tried but couldn’t get passed the fact that he was dressed like he was on his way to homeroom. He could’ve been a great guy but I will never know.
Now I want a cherry soda! I’m always happy when I stumble upon one ! They’re had to find.
@AtypicalLibrarian and OftenConfused
^Quit playing! I got hood tendencies and I like “RED” ! But ummm, Jones Soda used to have a good cherry soda. It was unnaturally bright red and probably full of food coloring, but I remember it being yummy as heck (I don’t do sodas too often)! I just checked their website and it looks like they only have black cherry soda now:( (which is good too, but is different)
i don’t think i’m drawn to a certain “type” and i’m not lying either. lol
Here’s a few examples of what comes to my mind when I see various “types”:
*The Woman Who Wears Tons of Makeup Or HAS To Put On Makeup Even When Running The Smallest Of Errands – Usually this type has more insecurity issues than the average woman. She’s the type who will ask you again and again how she looks in something, change clothes more than a couple of times before leaving the house, and fish for compliments. And yes, you BETTER notice if she does anything different with her look like cutting her hair or losing 2.5 lbs.
*The Label Whore – This is not the woman who wears quality clothing but moreso the woman who wears designer stuff with the name plastered on it in some obnoxious fashion. She’s typically superficial. She’s also shallow and predictable.
*The Woman Who Never Wears Any Makeup Whatsoever (not even gloss) – She’s either a nun or she’s gay.
*The Woman With Partially Shaven Head – Attention whore and/or Freak. She may (or may not) walk to the beat of her own drum, but she’s going to make sure she’s noticed. She will screw you like she’s got something to prove.
*The Ultra Girly Girl – Could be possibly very high-maintenance. She probably has two or three walk-in closets worth of clothes, shoes, and accessories. Loves to be pampered, does no manual labor, and rather go out to eat as oppose to cook or even have her man cook for her. Likely to be the girl at an upscale lounge late Saturday night and in church the very next morning because she has clothes for days and she’s dying for people to see them. This woman is NEVER from New York.
*Woman With Dreads – If she’s under 23, she’s a weed head…if she’s 24 and older, she’s non-assimilating professional who will preach sisterhood and how sistas need to rally together, yet she’ll take every opportunity to throw a sista with a perm under the bus. She thinks she’s more in tune with herself and her culture and will probably only date dark-skinned Black men because it’s unpopular to be seen with the light bright. That doesn’t fit her image.
*The Overweight, Loud Woman – She will swear up and down that she’s the shyt, but deep deep down, she doesn’t believe that herself. She always wants to be included in conversations and she will act like she’s an expert when it comes to any conversational topic.
*The Very Small/Petite, Loud Woman – *See The Overweight, Loud Woman*
lol, damn. this is basically a list of people not to date. you have any positive types to list?
Ha! Actually, if you take certain qualities out of these types of women and mesh them, it can really wotk out really well.
In general though, the woman who’s not afraid to smile a lot but not necessarily the most out-going (read: working the room/life of the party), good sense of style without having to resort to stuff that she has seen on a mannequin in some boutique, physically comfortable in a setting without clinging to her homegirls, and able to maintain eye-contact respectfully like they’re actually listening to you as oppose to trying to “read” you is what I prefer. This as well as being cute and having sex-appeal is what gets me.
I also love the “sundress” type. The woman whose wardrobe for the spring and summer consists of sundresses are an instant turn-on. Extra points if the dress comes to knee length or just above, but even if it’s long-flowing, it’s all-good. It just exudes classy and sexy all at the same time. I prefer this type over the shorts rocker all day.
probably has two or three walk-in closets worth of clothes, shoes
-hey now…dont hate on the shoe fiends. my momma loves me and gives me a pair of shoes everytime i see her.
i will also have you know i do 2 clothes/choes/accessories purge a year to charity. thank you very much! lol.
Wow, I don’t fit any of those LLS, looks are deceiving, folk need to remember seldom are things as they first appear to be, first impressions can dead ass wrong , IF, criteria is soley based on “looks”…the vibe and energy folk give off is wayyyyyyyyyy more reliable, read from the intuition, and I can read most mofos like matrix code for this very reason LOL
dont you think look and vibe/energy are somewhat related?
Champ, yes, they are related but not always in the ways perceived(with the eyes)……
I’ve always ended up sniffing out women who look like they might tutor college Physics on the side. They’ve all been like night and day as far as looks go (some tall, some short, some light, some dark etc.). BUT they’ve all had 3 things in common (again, speaking of looks): 1) Glasses, 2) Asses, and 3) Alluring smiles. So I guess, per my trend, I like the “type” of a woman who looks like she knows some sh*t, and I can have a conversation with her about anything and get real feedback.
On the flip though, the women who tend to initiate interest in me are never the same…which is somehow odd to me b/c most people are generally approached by the same “type” all the time. Cougars have been diggin’ the kid lately though. Go figure…
“1) Glasses, 2) Asses, and 3) Alluring smiles. ”
You know me? I work at a university but I don’t come close to tutoring physics, does that count?
“1) Glasses, 2) Asses, and 3) Alluring smiles”
lol, you just named the fav “type” for like 90 percent of the vsb’s here
Does tutoring math count? lol!
Guys tell me that they see me as the well-coiffed women who loves vacations, vodka and Essence festival…..which is VERY true! (minus the weave, tyler perry, beyonce and maserati comments)!! And the comment about the pick-up line and compliment were DEAD ON!!!! LOL!!! However, beneath the surface, a guy will quickly find that I:
- can be seen at the premier of an M. Night Shyamalan film or the next “Lord of the Rings”, “Apocolypto” or “Donnie Brasco” installment
- prefers the idea of Carrie Bradshaw (she’s more stylish than Beyonce)
- listens to Mobb Deep (The Infamous), Biggie, Georgia Anne Muldrow, Sa Ra and Dwele
At this point, they either find me a little strange or are fasinated. lol!
Fascinated. Not just on your music tastes, but being a fan of M. Night Shyamalan. I always wonder where dude gets that stuff from for his movies.
@ComicBookGuy
His movies always provoke some thought and he seems to be an “outside of the box” thinker; plus he adds some sci fi elements too (which I love!) (e.g. Signs)
“listens to Mobb Deep (The Infamous), Biggie, Georgia Anne Muldrow, Sa Ra and Dwele”
Your musical tastes alone would make you sexy to me…just saying.
@DG
“Your musical tastes alone would make you sexy to me…just saying.”
I’m sayin. CNotes, legitimate_soul, and few other of the VSSs will get a serious look just off their taste in music.
@Humble_One
*blushing* (again)
@Humble_One,
^Thank you! Are you from the D? If so, I wanted your opinion on a couple of Detroit artists: Guilty Simpson and Black Milk. Loved Guilty’s appearance on Mash’s Revenge (Jay Dilla’s beat) with MF Doom ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7pOKOaRycE ) and I’m getting to hear a few things from Black Milk on Pandora.
I also wonder what the home team has to say about artists from their area.
I’m not from the D, but I love both of those guys. Guilty and Black Milk be killing tracks for real. Really anything from Stones Throw Records (DOOM, Madlib, Dilla, Guilty) is worth listening, too. Black Milk got some nice beats, too.
@legitimate_soul
Yes I am from Detroit. Black Milk, Guilty Simpson, Elzhi, and similar cats get mad love here as far hip-hop heads. There are two rap scenes in Detroit. You have the cats that are like the ones I just mentioned then you have the ones that make music like whats heard on the radio and 106 and Park. I am a fan of Guilty Simpson, Dilla, and other cats here. If you want I can send you some music from them and other artists like them. I’m not sure if you heard this but it came out back in 2008. This was my ish. Pure hip-hop perfection. It’s Black Milk on the beats, Royce, and Elzhi.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YGwAs0GiKNc
@Humble_One,
“If you want I can send you some music from them and other artists like them. I’m not sure if you heard this but it came out back in 2008. This was my ish. Pure hip-hop perfection. It’s Black Milk on the beats, Royce, and Elzhi.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YGwAs0GiKNc
”
^Me likey! I love Royce’s verse on it! I would be so appreciative and delighted to receive any music you are willing to share with me! Here’s my e-mail addy: legitimate_soul@yahoo.com
Thanks so much!
@legitmate_soul
I’ll send you something this evening
@DG
*blushing* : )
@legitimate_soul
Humble_One
and ComicBookGuy
Here is what’s in heavy rotation for me right now: Zo! He’s collaborated with many of our faves: Foreign Exchange, Slum Village, Little Brother, etc. (I’ve been on instrumentals lately). Enjoy!
http://www.myspace.com/zo
See, this is EXACTLY what I’m talking about…a woman that can put me up on music = sexy as h&ll.
You’re in DC, right?? I may have to make a road trip…
@DG
LOL! Yep, I’m in DC. Glad I can share the love of music.
People also get frustrated when they can’t classify you into a stereotype because they can’t figure you out. *Me all the time* and I feel like women are more guilty of this then men. But maybe that’s partly because I’m in a sorority and that puts everyhing into a fishbowl. And because I’m so random, I get hit on by a motley crue of men. Though I would say the most consistent type would be the boho nag champa eroctic poet type. I think people would put me into the lisa bonet realm but then they get mad when I actually enjoy Nicki Minaj
“I think people would put me into the lisa bonet realm but then they get mad when I actually enjoy Nicki Minaj”
sh*t, that just made me mad too. welcome and sh*t, btw (i think)
When I was natural a few months ago, I was often asked if I was into incense and weed…smh. I received all kind of Sister Soulja comments. They didn’t bother me, they were just really annoying…and it got old.
I honestly don’t know where I fall.
I think I may come off as some what of a girly girl. But once we get to talking you’ll realize that I have a nice balance of girly girl and being an athelitic chick. I’ll go to football game, paintballing, white water rafting, jogging, play ball, watch MMA…but I still keep up w/ my pedicures and manicures and my hair is always done. On any given day I can be the life of the party, or quietly people watching. I spit bars from Camron’s “Confessions of Fire” or sing along to some old school Frankie Lymon song. I enjoy all things creative, and I’m constantly reading. Just last week, I shocked this dude during a conversation about the Nation of Islam…and I started talking about Noble Drew Ali.
Anywho…I think this is why I’m often pegged in the friend zone :/
@LaBakir
“When I was natural a few months ago, I was often asked if I was into incense and weed…smh”
You wore your hair natural? mad points
“I’ll go to football game, paintballing, white water rafting, jogging, play ball, watch MMA”
Word? You like paintballing? more points
“I spit bars from Camron’s “Confessions of Fire” ”
If you know the B-side to the 357 single on this album and know the artist on the song with Camron on that single I might be coming to Jersey to find you.
” I shocked this dude during a conversation about the Nation of Islam…and I started talking about Noble Drew Ali.”
A woman that knows about this too?
“Anywho…I think this is why I’m often pegged in the friend zone”
Uh no this will have you stalked by guys like Humble_One. I swear the women that comment here are from the Bizarro world or something.
Yup…natural for a little over a year.
LOVE paintballing…I usually get like a group of 20 so we have our own field. My dad brings smoke bombs and everything….good tiems
I have a guess…but I’m not too sure…and I won’t cheat and google it…I’ll wait for you to tell me the answer,lol
Yup…I guess I can give credit to my dad for that one. He reads alot and we swap info and books.
Humble_One….I’m telling you…I’m everybody’s best friend like I’m a damn Good Guy’s doll…but I don’t think I get viewed as “that” chick,lol
@LaBakir
“I have a guess…but I’m not too sure…and I won’t cheat and google it…I’ll wait for you to tell me the answer,lol”
The song’s name is Pull It. It was Camron feat. DMX. It was the b-side of the 357 single. They didn’t put it on the album.
Ahhhh shiiii! I know this song.
“Let’s get it on baby cause I’m ready to start, take the locks off the cage cause I’m ready to bark”
Dang…what happened to them ninjas…smh
What song is this from: “the best nation ninja is donation, so let me hold something, yo you can’t change my living cause robbery’s a holiday, call it thanks for giving”
@LaBakir
““the best nation ninja is donation, so let me hold something, yo you can’t change my living cause robbery’s a holiday, call it thanks for giving””
DMX – Stop Being Greedy?
I got one for you
“a f**kin snake in its truest form, knowing damn well that what I do is wrong, but still I do it strong”
nope, Cam’ron “Glory”
that joint w/ DMX, J, and Ja-Rule?
@ Humble_One
Here’s another one for you:
“ninja’s catching headaches/what what you need aspirin?/this type of pain you couldn’t even kill with midol/ f*ck around and get sprayed with lysol”
@LaBakir,
Sorry, Humble_One but I gotta take this one. Brooklyn Zoo. R.I.P. Ason Jones. Hip hop needs an Ol’ Dirty right about now.
@ComicBookGuy
Yessir!
I got one for you they both from the same song…one of my favs by this artist
“looking for Rambo/the cop who got grazed/back in the days, chasing ninjas through my project maze/that cop he got a death wish/he run behind ninjas until you breathless/everyday he making 10 arrest, shiii”
“she do be looking weaker now/ are teeth are foul/speaking loud, peep her style/in and out of every reefer cloud/fat arse dissolving like cotton candy in her mouth that’s starving”
@LaBakir,
I could be wrong, but that sounds like some GZA to me. “Cold World” maybe?
@ComicBookGuy
Close but no cigar
“Shootouts” by Nas on It Was Written
I swear the women that comment here are from the Bizarro world or something.
I feel like that every time I check this blog out. Any woman that can discuss the production credits of Premo, Pete Rock and Pharrell win instant points with ya boy.
I swear the women that comment here are from the Bizarro world or something.
i heart this comment.
carry on.
“You wore your hair natural? mad points”
See?
I absolutely profile–but I don’t have a particular type. I like what I like at the time. every guy I’ve dated seriously has been totally different from the one before. sometimes with men I can look at their past girlfriends and see similarities in the women, but I’m not like that.
I think if I had to choose between any of these I fall somewhere between the Angela Bassett one and the last one–but I’d probably get profiled for the Bassett one. LMAO. I try to avoid Tyler Perry premieres though.
good post.
I absolutely profile–but I don’t have a particular type. I like what I like at the time. every guy I’ve dated seriously has been totally different from the one before
you know, i assumed i could say the exact same thing, but when i thought about it, i realized that all of the women i’ve either dated seriously or been in relationships with were somewhat low-maintenance. no number 2′s.
Oh yeah, I have been “profiled” myself.
During my first-year in college, I was SO Detroit so a “mean mug” was fixated on my face. It was natural and I wasn’t aware of it because I was in a new enviornment. Many many people told me after getting to know me that I walked around campus with a mean mug and they were hesitant to say anything to me because they thought I was mean. Although I can be a sarcastic asshole at times, that’s not the jist of me.
I was very active on campus in various organizations so people (males and females) also perceived that I was trying to be greek. A dude just can’t do some community service for his school and surrounding areas with no ulterior motives? GTFOHWTBS. A number of Alphas tried to convince me to pledge, but I wasn’t with it and a couple of Kappa dudes approached me after it was obvious I wasn’t going to pledge Alpha. I guess Omegas and Sigmas didn’t see me in their org though, not that I wanted to be.
I’ve also been casted as the “pretty boy” and I KNOW that that’s just because I’m light-skinned. I may glance at myself when brushing my teeth in the morn, but I’m far from the mirror dude. I keep my hair low and I don’t even brush it when it starts growing and believe I have straight up n*gga hair…lol..not that curly stuff. Even in dress, I know when to “jump fly”, but for the most part, I’m in casual comfortable shyt and not suited and booted.
I get that I have the mean mug alot too…I try to be aware of it b/c I’m really an approachable person. But if I’m out and about in a place where I feel like somebody might test me…my shield goes up.
I blame Newark,NJ
All women have a mean mug. I’ve grown to realize that it is the way that women make the crappy dudes back up a little bit. It is nice to know that if you make eye contact and smile at a pretty woman with a mean mug, they usually have no choice but to smile and say hi. It doesn’t work every time, but when it does, it makes my day brighter.
LMAO!
I really think it depends on my surroudings. If I’m walking around Brooklyn (which I’m not familar w/) I’m def mean mugging. But if I’m in the town where I grew up in…I’m good.
But yes, if I see some jokers who look like they’re about to his me w/ the “psssst” or “shawwwwty” the screw face goes on.
Like I say on here, you women have it hard out there. Ninjas is crazy nowadays with the stuff that they say ( Hey gul. What yo name is?), so the mean mug is totally understandable. Watching it happen is like watching a train wreck and I just shake my head in laughter.
All women have a mean mug.
Actually that’s the one thing I never hear about me… I don’t mean mug, I smile A LOT… so people inaccurately assume that I am super nice. Nope, lol. I am polite and courteous and will make conversation even with the toothless crackhead at the bus station if they speak to me… but my people will never describe me as “nice”… EVER. Lol.
@LaBakir & Monk
I think some of us that grow up in urban environments have this look. I know I couldn’t be waiting on the bus or walking down the street looking happy go lucky. A mofo will rob or try to test you if you look soft.
@Humble_One
Pretty much…I was raised not to get caught slipping.
Speaking of which, the other day I was on my way to the track. This dude really hopped out his car and asked me what I said b/c I told him he couldn’t drive. He was bucked…son wanted to fight. All b/c I pulled out in front of his non driving ass. I couldn’t stop laughing and asked if he was serious. He said yes. So sad, he had to be like 40. Glad I didn’t participate in any niggatry and continued on my way. Luckily I was just reading this Hindu script on religion and was in a good frame of mind. Otherwise…
that chick that grew up in Newark, NJ would’ve came out and things could’ve gotten pretty ugly.
@Humble_One
That is part of the reason why I had to get my weight up and get my butt in the gym. Having to travel around the country to places I haven’t been before, I want to make sure a ninja doesn’t think he can just run up on me and if he does, it ain’t gonna be pretty.
“But if I’m out and about in a place where I feel like somebody might test me…my shield goes up.
I blame Newark,NJ”
I think living up north (particularly in northeastern cities) actually causes muscles in your face to contract into the mean mug pxn. I was visiting some fam in Trenton a few years back, and soon as I got up there my face just started contorting into a mean mug. It happened instinctively with me, and I’m a southern dude, born and raised. I can’t call it.
I will say that if you come to the South, Midwest, or the West Coast, your muscles do start to relax….
@DG
“I will say that if you come to the South, Midwest, or the West Coast, your muscles do start to relax….”
Midwest? What part? I don’t see muscles relazing in Detroit and Chicago.
@ DG and Humble_One
Yeah, I was about to say…when I was in the D, I sure didn’t realx. If anything I was more tense…shiiii. I don’t know what antics ninjas out there of capable of.
Exceptions to every rule, homie…Detroit and the Chi are geographically Midwest, but they’re large urban metropolises, which kinda makes them diff. in character than other areas in the Midwest. Large cities are usually different beasts altogether than the rest of the state where they’re located. NYC vs. New York = diff. Chicago vs. Illinois = diff. ATL vs. GA = diff
Having said that, I think your point about urban areas is right on…you gotta be on your defensive in the hood, no matter where said hood is…I’ve heard stories about the D, so I know what’s up. But I guarantee, you can get hemmed up just as easily in places like Houston, ATL, NOLA, N. Charleston, etc. looking all happy-go-lucky. N#ggas is STILL n#ggas, regardless of where you go.
word up. i’ve seen only tense feelings…on edge. that’s just my experience.
yea, I comment late. I do my best work at night.
@DG,
“But I guarantee, you can get hemmed up just as easily in places like Houston, ATL, NOLA, N. Charleston, etc. looking all happy-go-lucky.”
Yeah, a North Charleston ninja was looking at me kind of thirsty last night on Rivers ave. *smh* Savannah ninjas are fond of picking the off the weak too.
I thought you could relate…I’ve seen and experienced some random foolishness on Rivers Ave., so I know what you mean.
I know a lot of the urban hoods up North and Midwest are known for being rough (spots like Brooklyn, Newark, etc. come to mind) and I’m sure in most cases they live up to the rep, but I dare say that n#ggas in the south are a special breed…If I’m not mistaken, N. Charleston and Memphis are the most recent leaders in the nation in terms of violent crime.
I say all of this to say that it ain’t all sunshine and giggles once you get below that Mason-Dixon line…
@DG
They both are. A lot of the crime in N. Charleston doesn’t get reported like it should because it’s folks robbing illegals so the victims never report it.
Hell, two brothers are on trial for killing a 14 yr old and dumping him under an overpass b/c they thought he was his twin brother. All over a $300 weed debt. Both of the killers had long rap sheets but one had just beat a charge of raping an 8 yr old kid. I can’t call it.
Your muscles don’t relax on the West either. I endorse the mean mug. I was told freshman year in college I had a mean mug when I moved in the dorms. I blame Los Angeles. I grew up in Los Angeles during the height of gang warfare, set trippin’, drive by’s, funeral’s getting shot up, people getting jumped, everybody getting jacked and having to run they ‘ish, sexual deviants, and some of this going down on public transportation. Even living out East, I was comfortable in areas of DC, Philly, and could relate to Jersey and Philly folk because it was familiar. Ex boyfriend from Trenton, NJ. Khaki suit in LA, Khaki suit in Philly. Just like home.
I think it would apply for the blind and superficial person(s) common to those types. To each his own, I can still pull in a bad weave or a tight ‘fro! =)
‘I think it would apply for the blind and superficial person(s) common to those types”
?
welcome and sh*t, btw
This is interesting…
Not sure what I am exactly as none of those fit me. I do hear the same thing over and over from brothas: I look intimidating, unavailable, bougee (sp?)etc
Guys stare at me but don’t approach me. (except for the goons, ooglee booglies and short men..but they don’t count)
I don’t know what my look classifies me as. My friends describe me as outgoing, talkative, and a cornball. (I’m the funniest person I know)
Okay I asked my girl…she says I’m down to earth, outgoing, funny (i think she means corny), nerdy, intense (?), intellectual, etc.
I think a man is really only attracted to my looks at first. I don’t think he is even thinking about what kind of woman I may be…nor does he care. It will probably take convo or date for him to really get a feel of what type of woman I am.
@SmartFoxGirl
“I think a man is really only attracted to my looks at first. I don’t think he is even thinking about what kind of woman I may be…nor does he care. It will probably take convo or date for him to really get a feel of what type of woman I am.”
Each guy is different. Although what is kind of unfortunate about women looking a certain way is that they attract a certain type of man and it’s hard to shake that unless you change the environments you hang out.
That’s my point..i don’t really get a certain type…i get all types and mostly stares from the one’s that are my type. lol Oh well.
As far as hanging out, I don’t really do the clubs or “young” spots so not sure what to change there.
Guys stare at me but don’t approach me. (except for the goons, ooglee booglies and short men..but they don’t count)
@Smartfoxgirl I encounter this too. It always befuddled me that the craziest dudes would holla but normal ones would keep their distance. My “neutral face” is a smile so I don’t get what’s so unapproachable…
Champ you been so on point this week!!
Damn.. I would say I’m like a mixture of #2-4 depending on how I’m wearing my hair and whether I’m at work or outside of work lol. I kind of teeter back and forth between the “pretty” girl look when I’m wearing my hair straightened and earthy-intellectual girl look when I wear my hair natural – looks almost exactly like the girls hair in the picture lol. But then i’m also on my corporate sh*t too and since I’m in management I have to deal with all the corporate BS day in and day out but outside of work I’m the total opposite – laid back, curse like a sailor, drink with the fellas lol.
But I know I’m profiled all the time.. I get the same thing – that I look stuck up and/or conceited and boughie… Not to say I’m not those things (lol) I admit that I have an inner diva which comes out from time to time but I pride myself more on my intellect and being well read and now working on being well traveled.
But I think there’s probably a little bit of each woman mentioned in all of us and i think its great to be versatile. It those chicks and guys that only know how to be one thing that I can’t stand… its like read a book, motherf*cker, get a hobby…. do you have to go to club EVERY friday AND saturday?? Do you have to rock every single style you see in the rap videos or rihanna/beyonce/kanye west wearing? Be f*ckin original for once in your life.. dance to your own tune and sh*t
“But I know I’m profiled all the time.. I get the same thing – that I look stuck up and/or conceited and boughie… Not to say I’m not those things”
well, knowing what high school you went to, that seems pretty accurate, lol
Boy whatchu talkin… didn’t u go to HS in the suburbs?? lol
I am definitely seen as a mixture of 3 and 4….some say I remind them of Cree Summer /Freddy on Different World. I have strangers ask me if I am a singer/writer/dancer (not THAT kind, lol)…I like to say that I am a “creative intellectual”. As I mature, I am trying to change my image a bit, trying to “refine” my style a bit to reflect my current personality and outlook on life.
I tend to attract and be attracted to two types of men. One is the artsy/intellectual type, and the other is the, I don’t know, community organizer/future politician type (I guess a bit like the early Barack Obama). These men usually are interested in me at first because they are attracted to the parts of me that mirror their personalities or what they want in an ideal mate, but over time, the artsy/intellectual dudes find me too mainstream and conventional, and the future politicians find me too alternative and radical. Admittedly, I probably feel the same about them. So I am still looking for the mash-up that will match up well with my mash-up!
“So I am still looking for the mash-up that will match up well with my mash-up!”
this is sweet and sh*t. welcome and sh*t, btw
God bless it.
I’m #3. I even look like #3. And I’m angry about it, I’m SOOOOO angry about it! Are we really that easy to typecast? Shit.
… And yes, that one-grit story in “The Broke Diaries” is the best.
“Are we really that easy to typecast?”
lol, sorry. i call it like i see it. welcome and sh*t, btw. good to see another pittsburgh native on vsb.
Well thank you kindly. And Go Primanti’s.
the only thing in the burgh more overrated than primanti’s is luke ravenstahl.
So I’m just going to check the “all of the above box”. Yes, I’m smart, I volunteer, I would marry Hill Harper (or the idea of him) tomorrow, I went to a great school (which people form opinions about upon learning) BUT if you drive past me…I’m probably speeding and the vibrations from the Rick Ross, “Young” Jeezy, or whoever is shaking the car..I love to watch sports and I secretly wish I were a wide receiver, I don’t miss an opening night at a black movie theater for a TP movie…and peach soda is my guilty pleasure #shrug.
Just like many of you…I don’t fit into one category. People have their assumptions about me (and always have)….I’m mean, stuck up, bougie, and un-approachable OR they see me as outgoing and friendly. It kind of depends on the setting I guess? But when people get to know me they realize that what they thought was usually wrong…unless they turn out to be someone like me.
I tend to generalize guys when I see’em. We all do this…
Wearing a bow tie? He probably went to Morehouse and/or takes himself way to seriously and thinks his status is about five notches than it is in reality.
Still rocking braids over the age 18? I’m gonna assume that you didn’t get the memo to let that go. Oh…you have those braids with designs? iCannot!
Your opening line tells me what you do and where you went to school? You are one of those people…and i’m judging you. Are you awaiting a congrats? Dear DC, can we kill this opening line? Sincerely~ Me.
Wearing a bow tie? He probably went to Morehouse and/or takes himself way to seriously and thinks his status is about five notches than it is in reality.
dont say that too loud. panama might get mad at you
No! No…its just been my experience, especially when I’m in Atlanta (home)!
This might be blaspheme, but am I the ONLY one who thinks Hill Harper is a douche in sheep’s clothing? I cannot stand this man AT ALL! There is something about him, can’t but my finger on it, but definitely something that makes me go “hmmmmm.”
“This might be blaspheme, but am I the ONLY one who thinks Hill Harper is a douche in sheep’s clothing?”
Nope. He is in fact a gay(nttawwt) douche bag in a gay sheep’s clothing. Hope that helps you out.
I knew somebody would get on Hill about being gay, but what is nttawwt? Is that in a previous post?
@Andi
From the VSB Glossary:
nttawwt: Acronym for “Not that there’s anything wrong with that” in reference to gay/gayness/gay-like activities and originated on Seinfeld. Often used in parenthesis on VSB.
I can’t stand him. He seems like a man in love with the sound of his own voice that wouldn’t let you get a a word in unless you were associated with someone famous (male), and then he’d want to know all about that person. And then he’d make unwelcome, aggressive sexual advances after talking all night about how he knows and respects women. DD all day.
That’s just how I imagine knowing him would be, lol
@RocktheCatbox
“He seems like a man in love with the sound of his own voice that wouldn’t let you get a a word in unless you were associated with someone famous (male), and then he’d want to know all about that person”
*using the Obama pause* Sooooo…he’s Michael Eric Dyson?
” And then he’d make unwelcome, aggressive sexual advances after talking all night about how he knows and respects women.”
I’ve got two sisters and as male, I just have to ew to that.
My best friend met him in Charlotte during the campaign. He stopped at the radio station where he works and his boss was like “This is Hill Harper from CSI NY.” My friend was like, “No he’s not.That Booger from “He Got Game”.
Bravo! I’m usually a lurker but I love this post too much not to comment! My guess is most people would say I’m #2. I’m stereotyped on the daily. Doesn’t bother me one bit.
lol, yeah. only number two’s say “bravo!”. welcome and sh*t, btw
do you assign assumed characteristics to certain looks?
Not much, you can never be sure what a person is going to be like but if they look like a peacocking asshole (too many logos, too much hair product, too much jewlery) that makes me think certain things, and it’s never good.
have you ever been a victim of dating profiling yourself?
Sure…I have been profiled as an ambitious community activist type/career woman when I have very little overall ambition and don’t care for large groups of people, the safety and welfare of others or organization memberships. Somehow I’m approached a lot by men who tend to interview on dates and ask my 10 year plan. I don’t really have a 6 month plan…but they still audition me to be their type #2. I like a more laid back dating approach. I have a decent job but I’m not poised to become part of a power couple.
also, do you tend to find yourself drawn to the same peripheral “type”?
Yes, always athletic build, nontraditional job/lifestyle, looking for stability in a mate since thier lives have none. Mainly I instinctively go for the biggest, tallest dude in the room, they end up being a retired athlete of some sort and they have all of those qualities.
@RocktheCatbox
“Somehow I’m approached a lot by men who tend to interview on dates and ask my 10 year plan. I don’t really have a 6 month plan…but they still audition me to be their type #2. I like a more laid back dating approach. I have a decent job but I’m not poised to become part of a power couple.”
Once again I’m amazed at the women on this site. I wish more women would have a laid-back dating approach and just live their life. I’ve had women turn their nose up at me because I don’t want to conquer the world and be rich. I feel more passionate about helping these young kids breaking into house than getting rich.
I dealt with one chic that looked like #3 but behaved like #2. My ex looked like #3 but was #1 as a person. I’m still kind of embarassed about being with her. It killed me because people would think she was some type of nag champa burning, neo-soul, knowledge having chic. And wasn’t that type of woman at all. I came to learn that you can get someone by their look but not the total person. It’s not 100% fool proof. E.g. if she is a dime, “pretty girl”, etc. there is a high chance that she may not have that much personality. There are always exceptions to the rule but I still believe this to be true.
I have had women write my whole story off of how I look. I’ve been told that I look mean and I always have an ice-grill, or I’m stuck-up or I’m a white-boy. I charge the ice-grill to being a very Black man. I’ve even been called a “pretty boy”. I don’t buy that one bit. I think women say that because of how I dress. For some reason women have always dig my style. IDK. I’ve had women mistaken for being a drug dealer or thug because they have seen me hanging out with these type of dudes. They would be all into me until they found out I was just a regular dude that went to school that hustled every now and then. I’ve also been perceived as a school boy type because I’m shy, quiet, and dress kind of preppy. Those women have lost interest too when they’ve seen me drinking with by boys and being n**gerish. I’ve also drive fast cars so I think this may play a role in how people see me. With that being said people are surprised when I speak and find out I’m socially conscious, politically aware, a hip-hop head and rock Jordans and Gucci sneakers. This is the reason I like Kanye West so much. I feel where he is coming from. I think I can identify with the whole “backpacker in a Benz” idea.
@Humble_One
You are now apart of the EUG along w/ ComicBookGuy…the Elusive Unicorn Gang
Men like you only exist in my imagination
@LaBakir
“You are now apart of the EUG along w/ ComicBookGuy…the Elusive Unicorn Gang
Men like you only exist in my imagination”
LMAO! Elusive Unicorn Gang. Lol. I was kicked out the gang. You have to be over 6ft tall and weigh at least 200lbs. I’m 5’1″ and weigh 300lbs and have a nose like KRS-One.
@ Humble_One
“You have to be over 6ft tall and weigh at least 200lbs. I’m 5?1? and weigh 300lbs and have a nose like KRS-One.”
LMAO! You’s a fool! You can’t say things like this to me. I have a very vivid imagination and just burst out laughing at that description
@LaBakir,
Okay, you are killing me over here with that EUG.
@ComicBookGuy
I wish you could hear the sincerity in my voice….you’re a rare species. I need to know where to find EUG’s. Although I did meet one but he kinda fell short…literally…he’s like 5’3 and rumored to hit women….so I had to keep it moving.
How the hell you gonna be 5’3″ and be hitting on women? Man, please. He need to get knocked upside the head with the Yellow Pages.
Seriously! Son has a rep for hitting his girlfriends…but upon meeting him…he seems “perfect”
I wasn’t trying to find out if the word on the skreet was true or not
I got a thing against ninjas putting their hands on women so I definitely don’t do it. The idea of it takes me back to my 6’4″ dad threatening my 9 year old butt for playing too rough with my sister. He had 6 sisters and I have 5 so we both are pretty protective about women.
@ ComicBookGuy
Hell I do too! I have zero tolerance to Ike Turner syndrome. After my parents split my mom’s had an abuse boyfriend. Although I had a brother, I’m the oldest…there’s been times when I had to defend her.
Just checking in for my daily 4-way to say I would pay money to see CBG knock a ninja upside the head with a yellow pages, mid-conversation. Also got a terrific image of Humble trying with an Angela Basset-lookalike who does the stanky leg (yeah I know you said she was a #3, but it’s funnier to me if she was a #2).
Carry on!
@RocktheCatbox
Daily 4-way? You might need to expound on that a little. lol
Yellow Pages was the only funny blunt object I could think of that I would use knock out a 5’3″ guy with a Napoleon Complex.
“Just checking in for my daily 4-way…”
Like CBG, I need you to not start comments off like this….it makes for a very confusing read for us menfolks…
@ComicBookGuy and DG
My eyebrow was raised too, yet I will not divulge my immediate thoughts as to what came to my mind, smh
LMAO I just meant being in a thread with LaBakir, CBG and Humble. But it got me to thinking, a morning fourway among consenting, trustworthy adults would add some spice to one’s day. You know, if one was into that.
@ RocktheCatbox
LMAO! Made me think of that Nelly line
“I’m just kidding like Jason…unless you’re gonna do it”
@ Humble_One
I agree with La Bakir. You are officially a member of the EUG or the DTD (dare to dream) men group. Why do such men only exist in cyberspace?? You, ComicBookGuy, Caballeroso, DG…iSigh
@ Ivyette
I like DTD! Good one!!! Yes, cyberspace is merely a tease.
That was sweet of you…thanks (although I’m sure each of us has our own set of issues, just like any man…ain’t nobody perfrect).
@ DG
although I’m sure each of us has our own set of issues, just like any man…ain’t nobody perfrect
Of but of course…but at least ya’ll not out here thuggin and buggin. Issues can be worked threw…30 year old thugs…not so much,lol
I see, I said (LaBakir ref…lol)
The thug lifestyle ain’t never been for me. I had options growing up…now that I’m grown, I stand to lose too much trying to be someone/something that I’m not. Besides, I wear glasses…how you gon’ be a thug w/ nearsightedness??
@DG
I concur, brotha. Especially with glasses reference, except I deal with astigmatism. Blinder than a bat with sunglasses in a dark room.
@ DG
LMAO! I say that too often for my own good!
smh @ ya’ll blind ninjas! I got that 20/20 poppin,lol
@DG & ComicBookGuy
I’m on the blind team too. I also wear glasses. I’ve recently tried contacts. Those things are a hassle. maybe I need to get use to putting them in? IDK. Right now it is a hassle to put them.
@LaBakir
“smh @ ya’ll blind ninjas! I got that 20/20 poppin,lol”
So what. You 20/20 mofos make me sick. With your seein @ss.
Hey now, don’t be salty guys
I’s share my 20/20…I read signs for blinds folks
I agree with La Bakir. You are officially a member of the EUG or the DTD (dare to dream) men group. Why do such men only exist in cyberspace?? You, ComicBookGuy, Caballeroso, DG…iSigh
*adds name to inquiring minds want to know list..
ps: Exclusive member of the EUG (or DTD) tees will be available for sale soon in the vsb shop right?? lol.
LMAO…true b/c I’ll order one ASAP
I think I can identify with the whole “backpacker in a Benz” idea.
I need the equivalent for women!!!! Because that’s me too! The Ambivalence between being ambitious and successful but still organizing and socially conscious. Someone please come up with a term? Cheekie darling?
I’m hella honored you thought of me, Sula to come up with an appropriate term!
Unfortunately, I have the legendary ‘itis combined with “end of the day brain loss” and I’m not able to think clearly. Hmm.
Maybe:
- Perceptive in Prada
- Learned in Louboutins
lol, it’s time to go…
See, even with your itis and end-of-day-brain-loss, you come up with gems!! Learned in Louboutins? Priceless!
Time to crank out that screenplay. I will stay on you for it!
Thanks, girl! I really appreciate and need the extra pushes!
How I am stereotyped is going to depend on what day of the week and what mode you catch me in.
Monday morning – 645a – Jogging down Greenbriar Parkway past Tyler Perry studios, dressed in running gear, not listening to an mp3 player.
Tuesday afternoon – 213p – Dressed corporate cute, standing in line at Seattle Best, on FaceBook on my Blackberry, while waiting to order a caramel latte.
Wednesday night – 745p – Standing in right field at Brannon Memorial Softball Park in College Park, swatting at all them damn mosquitoes.
Thursday – happy hour – sitting on the patio, just before the sun goes down at Blue Moon Pizza, sipping a caramel apple pie martini, wearing a maxi-sundress, with my sunglasses perched on top of my head.
Friday night – GNO (girls night out) – with one or two of my favorite folk, wearing the requisite party dress and cute heels or the standard Atlanta Summer Uniform – tight jeans, cute tee, killer high heeled sandals, sitting at the bar at Cafe Circa, waiting on Eva Kennedy and the Nameless Band to come and rock out.
Saturday midday – jeans, tshirt, tennis shoes – volunteering *somewhere* or taking my goddaughter to see whatever the latest kid movie is (that I secretly enjoy – she’s actually just my excuse for going.)
Saturday late afternoon – lounging on my balcony drinking moscato from a chilled wine glass, listening to Imelda May or Chris Botti or Sade or something equally as relaxing.
Sunday morning – at church with TheDude – dressed in my Sunday finest, bible in hand, ready to sit down cause praise and worship has gone on so long and my feet hurt and thinking about going to Thumbs Up after service.
Sunday afternoon – in front of the television – watching sports (preferably football), barefoot, wearing some yoga pants and a tank top, thinking about the laundry that I should be doing.
after reading this, you sound like a four.
That pretty much sums up my week…except they kids are mine…u stalking me?
Yup I’m a permed conscience sista that writes, works in the corporate world in the middle of PA, loves soy & tofu & effin porterhouse steaks, bad reality shows & the history channel, football watching, nature walking, will drop it like it’s hot, & whine my hubby over some reggae, play Xbox w/ my son & scrap book w/ my daughter, bed freak, & a lady & bytch when needed…
Signed….can’t be boxed in!
signed
can’t be boxed in
Why, oh, why did you just describe my week? Lol!
Except is biking in Terry Hershey park instead of running on Greenbriar Ave.
Natural hair, sometimes glasses, J.crew (on sale stuff), sperrys at the Irish Bar getting hit on all night by “fratty” white guys or nerdy (boring) sweater wearing black guys… #1 question can I touch your hair (hell no) , you like country music?? Hiking? Snowboarding?? traveling?? Nerdy black guy either walks away to the “bathroom” or wants to take me to a poetry/Jazz nite (and touch my hair). White guy “we should go hiking!!” or “lets go walking at the park with my dog.”
hmm, thats interesting. i would have assumed that “fratty” white guys typically don’t hit on natural hair sistas. whenever i think of them i think of jessica simpson doppelgangers.
great website, btw
Is the third one actually me? Can I be so honored as to believe I was part of the inspiration for that (minus the ex-BFs with White women. No, suh!)? If so, gracias.
lol, yeah. the “scathing letter to tyler perry” part is definitely sista t inspired. also, i thought of an entry you wrote a while back about different types of brothas when crafting the topic, so i guess i owe you virtual royalties.
Perception truly is an interesting beast when it comes to meeting people of the opposite sex. I try not to let an outward perception really determine if I want to talk to a woman, because I have been wrong before, just like women have been wrong about me. Some women have thought that I was “too good to be true” that they backed off from me, to only find out later that they really liked me. It’s crazy.
I’ve been perceived as the black guy that only dates white women because I was tall, slim, and didn’t sound like a f##king moron when I talked. One woman called me a pretty boy and I told her she just caught me on a good day. I’ve been perceived as a guy that wanted to a 2520 because of my various interests and tastes in music and you might catch me in a Pink Floyd T-shirt. I kick with everyone, from the thugs to the bougie, from Asians to Hispanics and 2520s. I’ve even been told that I can’t be from the South or from the hood because I speak properly and my southern accent doesn’t stand out all the time. Andre 3000 described me to a T: “Ain’t a hood ni@@a, but a ni@@a from the hood. See, momma stayed on me, so I turned out pretty good.” Having a English teacher for a mother, she made sure that I always put my best foot forward when I left her house. I don’t judge people for who they are or what they do. Ain’t got time for that. If you do you and are happy about it, then we can be cool. If there is something in that that makes me want to learn more about you, then I will.
Like I said, that perception thing can be a beast. If you accept the surface, all you will get is the surface. If you make an effort to dig a little deeper, you just might find what you are looking for in a person.
@ComicBookGuy
“I’ve been perceived as the black guy that only dates white women because I was tall, slim, and didn’t sound like a f##king moron when I talked. One woman called me a pretty boy and I told her she just caught me on a good day. I’ve been perceived as a guy that wanted to a 2520 because of my various interests and tastes in music”
Cosign. I’ve had Black women tell me numerous times that I seem to like 2520 women. I’ve never dated a 2520. They way I talk has caused them to say this too. In the past I’ve been told I talk proper or white. My father speaks the queens english, my mother isn’t from the South so I don’t have the same accent as a lot of people here. Plus my mother was on my brother and I to speak well and enunciate.
LOL I never assume a dude is into white chicks unless he
a) ignores me (like, no negro nod or if he takes pains to avoid any sort of eye contact with me) in the company of mostly white people
b) is currently on a date with a white chick
So many of us are mindf*cked about this talking white/black bullshit, it is extremely irritating. I “sound” as white as the day is long. Everything about how I was brought up and went to school suggests that my parents were really gunning for me to live life as an idle-rich, white woman (K-12 prep school and music conservatories from a young age, liberal arts degree from an east coast school, advanced degree in something useless, foreign languages). The culmination of all this? After being an overscheduled kid, I now hate any kind of job stress too much to ever be rich; white, Wall street douchebags aren’t my type; but–hooray!–I sound like Meryl Streep so I get to be stereotyped by black men. Parents: 1, Catbox: 0.
@RocktheCatbox
Seems like we have somewhat similar backgrounds. I swear my parent were trying to raise us to be a Black Militant/Wall Street hybrid.
“I now hate any kind of job stress too much to ever be rich; white, Wall street douchebags aren’t my type”
You really don’t know how much I feel you on this comment.
I’m glad to hear it, lol. I know my parents had very good intentions, exposing me to what they didn’t have but I caught on quickly that they ALSO hoped to obnoxiously brag to any white person in earshot about what their kids are doing, lol. Wow, you reminded me that my parents also helped me maintain a healthy distrust of The Man at a very young age. “You better eat those string beans! You know white people want you to fail! There’s a white girl somewhere eating her string beans and getting better grades than you as we speak!” When I was in kindergarten I told my teacher Christopher Columbus was a fascist and I wasn’t going to make any paper turkeys…I am sure my parents high fived each other after their meeting with the principal. If you are a NYer who grew up in the 80s, my dad listened to WLIB nonstop in the car (back then they were very community and activist-focused) so I always got a healthy dose of racial conspiracies to share with my white classmates.
I had no friends from kindergarten to about 8th grade.
@RocktheCatbox
“When I was in kindergarten I told my teacher Christopher Columbus was a fascist and I wasn’t going to make any paper turkeys…I am sure my parents high fived each other after their meeting with the principal. If you are a NYer who grew up in the 80s, my dad listened to WLIB nonstop in the car (back then they were very community and activist-focused) so I always got a healthy dose of racial conspiracies to share with my white classmates.”
LOL. My parents were politically active also. My mother took me to a protest in the 5th grade and they had me write my first book report in the 1st grade on Marcus Garvey. I think we could trade war stories about growing up like this. My dad played NPR in the car and I listen to it till this day. I’m listenng to NPR now.
“I’ve been perceived as the black guy that only dates white women”
ive heard this as well. both my current girlfriend and my most recent ex have expressed to me that they would have assumed i dated white women
No, Champ. Not you.
the 3rd one most closely describes me, but i wouldn’t mind being seen in a maserati quattroporte either, well eff the seen part, i just want one!
the last guy i dated (who was a Morehouse Man, no DD) said that i look like the kind of chick that sings/can sing. i burst out laughing, it was so funny. hell i sound like rihanna, wait people think rihanna can sing so lemme not use her. i can’t. prolly cuz i cut off my hair, i’m a vegetarian and i talk about the struggle alot.
i’m a hippie.
btw champ, i don’t like capitalizing ish either!
the last guy i dated (who was a Morehouse Man, no DD) said that i look like the kind of chick that sings/can sing
lol, its funnty…some women do have that look. you can’t really put a finger on why though, but they just look like they can blow
::nervous laughter::
Uhm…ok. So I think I fall somewhere between the 2nd and 3rd example.
Yes, I’ve fallen victim to the dating stereotypes and have applied some in my own “screening” process. ::shrugs:: Sue me! Most often I am the victim of “she’s so cute and fine…she must have a man” thus…NOT approached at all. But then that could be due to the “mean mug” I naturally have on my face…not one of those girls with the “smiling eyes”. ::shrugs:: …again, sue me! LOL
“she’s so cute and fine…she must have a man” thus…NOT approached at all.”
***paging humble one***
welcome and sh*t, btw
LOL…Dang, I didn’t intend for that to sound arrogant….just repeating what has been said.
Thanks for the welcome and isht.
lol, i wasn’t suggesting that it sounds arrogant. “humble one” (a vsb regular) always says “this comment is useless without pics” whenever a woman makes a reference to her physical beauty. thats why i was “paging” him
Ahh…gotchya! Well, you and the Humble One can come to your own conclusions.
http://thechocl8tdiaries.wordpress.com/brown-skin-how-chocl8t-got-her-name/
@I Am Chocl8t,
Thumbs up on my end. Lovely chocl8t woman. lol
i understand what you mean… i get the “stop lookin so mean” comment A LOT!! the thing is that i’m almost always laughing (or smiling).. but when i’m in a club (or party atmosphere) i’m being extremely observant.. thus my face registers something other than “hey! come and say ‘hi’”
i usually have to be introduced by someone else.. i’m not the type that gets approached a lot.. BY FAR!
I’m not going to deny that there are categories, because I am totally number 3, except that I’m more chocolate, and my hair is straight (right now). However, I have a problem with boxes in general. Aside from cutting my hair from shoulder length to 1/2″ in length on 3 separate occasions, I have never done anything particularly radical to alter my looks/appearance. (Although, I should note, cutting off shoulder length relaxed hair is QUITE radical to most brothas. MUSN’T CUT THE HAIR!) I guess I just like knowing that I can do anything and that the flyness of my total appearance will trump my “hair mood”. I’m aware that I just turned this into a hair thing, but I’m slightly obsessed with the topic…so there. lol
Even though I’m pretty much a #3, I never get approached by my male equivalent 3. i.e.) equally artsy, impulsive about appearance, dreamer. In fact none of the dudes I’ve dealt with can be categorized into one group. hmmmm…interesting.
And speaking of food preferences, when is the pgh crew taking me out for a nice plate of salmon sashimi? I’m hungry….NOW.
p.s.- i would love unemployment right now. please someone tell my employer to lay me off!!! I got sh*t to write!
“I never get approached by my male equivalent 3.” I just realized that this statement would have been a perfect time to write – “no Panama”
But I snoozed on the opportunity.
Growing up I had extremely long hair. All the women in my family do or did at some point. I cut it off when I left for college and people looked at me like I was declaring my love for women or something. It was in a bob, for goodness sake, not even that short. People tripped…especially the men. So, I get that whole “don’t touch the length” think from men. It’s annoying.
I’m not any of these chicks. Let’s see…I hate Nicki Minaj, but love Erykah Badu. However, that doesn’t count me out from getting down with the best of the worst southern made music out there (think “window-to-the-wall”). I’ve worked non-profit all my life and continue to work in environmental issues now (for a solar company), however I’m not a Lisa Bonet type.
I look like I’d be bourgeoisie but I’m not. I’m very much for the people (I’m using my former union organizer terminology here, so don’t judge). Overall, I’m well rounded. If you want to talk politics, I can do that. If you want to skydive, I can do that. If you want someone to design, demo and remodel your bathroom, I can do that too. (literally, not figuratively). If you want a girl with the “look” but also with substance, I am that. And as a result, I get hit on by many different types of men.
I’d say I’m a mix of Sanna Lathan’s character in both Brown Sugar and Love & Basketball. Who knows???
I’d say I’m a mix of Sanna Lathan’s character in both Brown Sugar and Love & Basketball. Who knows???
isnt that the exact same person?
“isnt that the exact same person?”
Okay???? LOL
Basically. I didn’t know if anyone thought the same thing. But, yeah…pretty much
I am such a number 4. I even look like the pic today in my suit at work. The only discrepancies are the fact that I am not a Tyler Perry fan, I prefer not to sweat at all (hence, no kickboxing or hiking), and I would prefer something a car with flex fuel versus a full hybrid.
I tend to attract good guys generally. Or at least they seem at the start. I am also guilty of stereotyping and will not talk or respond to any guy who looks like they tried too hard to dress when they left the house, who has a hairstyle that requires more maintence than a cut, quick twist (locs) and brush, or anyone who has a whack walk. Puts them too close to DD Territory. No time for such things.
“…or anyone who has a whack walk.”
lol, please expound.
welcome and sh*t, btw
thanks for the welcome. im officially initiated. yay me.
A whack walk is one where the gentlemen look just a little too pedestrian. Having a walk that exudes no confidence, strength, or makes it seem like he has no where in the world to go and nothing in the world to do. Like at any given moment they would be walking nonchalantly and then reach over to pick up a daffofil or something and that action would not break their stride at all. Im not sure if this helped any… I am demonstrating the walk around my office now, but as my webcam is not enabled…..
“Like at any given moment they would be walking nonchalantly and then reach over to pick up a daffofil or something”
*DEAD* at that comment. I’m highly visual so I just pictured some bama type dude in some almost dark brown khakis and a yellow shirt leisurely walking around the park and then bending down (the kind of bend that mothers teach their daughters not to do when they have on a skirt) and picking up a freaking daffodil. Hilarious!
This is very interesting. I think about this a fair bit – more in terms of how I perceive other people than how they perceive me, I think.
Part of me thinks that since we are most likely aware of the stereotypes associated with our chosen look (I guess I’m talking only about the things you *can* choose like hairstyle and clothing), that to some extent we can use it to *advertise* that we have the associated characteristics. On the other hand, some looks have unfair/untrue associations – we may like certain looks and choose them *despite* the stereotypes, and you can’t know which it is until you get to know someone.
(my background: I am a 2520 lady who moved to the US a few years ago from Australia, so I definitely can’t say I am any of the given stereotypes. Plus being essentially a foreigner means I didn’t grow up with the same stereotypes most USAmericans did. And I have no idea what anyone thinks of me based on what I wear / look like!)
“Part of me thinks that since we are most likely aware of the stereotypes associated with our chosen look (I guess I’m talking only about the things you *can* choose like hairstyle and clothing), that to some extent we can use it to *advertise* that we have the associated characteristic”
i agree. i do think that most of us choose to dress/carry themselves a certain way because of what it suggests.
also, you mentioned not having the same stereotypes as most americans. how exactly do they differ?
welcome and sh*t, btw
oh, and panama’s the resident three (a “3″ out of “10″ on the looks ranking scale. he jokingly calls himself that because of a few comments made in an old entry that shall not be named).
““Part of me thinks that since we are most likely aware of the stereotypes associated with our chosen look (I guess I’m talking only about the things you *can* choose like hairstyle and clothing), that to some extent we can use it to *advertise* that we have the associated characteristic””
“i agree. i do think that most of us choose to dress/carry themselves a certain way because of what it suggests.”
I really tried to push against this for a long time, but I finally have acquiesced. For almost two decades I have worn my hair natural, kinky/curly, and big…hence people assuming I was a Nag Champa burning, poetry writing, no meat eating sista…well, I was/am, but I am so much more than that. But folks could NOT get past the hair. I will be natural for life (no lye hate) but I decided to stop being the “girl with the big afro”. I’m mini-twisting and updo-ing it now, so we will see if I get different or better treatment…
“I really tried to push against this for a long time, but I finally have acquiesced. For almost two decades I have worn my hair natural, kinky/curly, and big…hence people assuming I was a Nag Champa burning, poetry writing, no meat eating sista…well, I was/am, but I am so much more than that. But folks could NOT get past the hair. I will be natural for life (no lye hate) but I decided to stop being the “girl with the big afro”. I’m mini-twisting and updo-ing it now, so we will see if I get different or better treatment…”
I have been natural for 7 years. I just began pressing my hair to change it up after twists, puffs, twist outs, braids, updo’s, and fro’s for years. Sad to say, but I got more fiendly banter and glances with the pressed hair. However, more compliments from white folks, men of other races, and rasta and bohemian brothers with the fro. You are fabulous ( I’m sure you already know this) , no matter what way you choose to wear your hair.
The whole “hair as politics” thing is really weird to me too – I had only a vague idea of it before I moved here, I have read and heard much more about it now.
I’m so sorry (as in, sorry on behalf of *my* people for being a-holes about it – yes, it is white people’s fault for propagating the myth of ourselves as the beauty standard) that you can’t just do whatever YOU like with your hair without people thinking you’re making a statement or drawing a battle line or some sh*t.
@ legitimate_soul, thanks! My issue is not so much with the fro itself, but with being stereotyped and treated as this earthy boho girl….I was that girl a decade ago, but I’m not now. I kept wearing the fro cause that is how my hair grows out of my head, and I like it. But the fro (or people’s assumptions about it) kept me stuck with a stereotype that I am not comfortable with now, so I had to make a change…its not gone, just rarely seen…this will be an experiment to see how I am treated without it…
Well you see Australia has a whole different racial makeup & history so we don’t necessarily have the same stereotypes or hear about the ones y’all have. For example, most Aussies had never heard of the stereotype that fried chicken is a black people’s thing because our only knowledge of it is Kentucky Fried Chicken which has a white dude as its mascot. Until that whole YouTube incident obvys. (Note: Australia is still racist as sh*t, just in different ways than America!)
As far as my personal knowledge of US stereotypes about black people, I can’t recall even actually knowing *any*; my formative images of black Americans were from the Cosby Show and Sesame Street, i.e. they’re varied humans just like any other people. Actually racial stereotypes don’t make that much sense to me, possibly because I grew up in a super diverse city and had a ton of friends and acquaintances from pretty much everywhere in the world? (Note: I am not trying to paint myself as a wonderful person here; my prejudices tend to be class-based instead).
Also, sorry for asking that question about being a 3 to the wrong author. I have been meaning to ask it for a while and wasn’t thinking properly.
Shoot, also, I forgot to ask, Champ, what is a 3? (as in “Girrrl he a 3″)
it is a nickname that Panama Jackson has. 3 as in on a scale from 1 to 10 he is a 3. From a very interesting post.
Since I’ve gotten rid of the copier techs and the sales guys from my office I’ll profile myself. *”You can do this Wu. You can do this!”
I usually get labeled as being an arse. I’m yellowish and used to have decent hair and I don’t smile very much so I automatically get pegged with mean mugging. The fact that I practice the mysterious and ancient art of knowing when to shut the f*** up doesn’t help this. When I do speak I’m very terse, I swear a lot, and I’m very sarcastic. Hence the arsehole labels but once I know someone they usally figure me out.
Many of my friends from college pegged as doing too 2520ish.I like watching westerns and baseball. Collect military memorabila. I also enjoy fishing and “outdoorsy sh*t”like shooting. The fact that I sound like a redneck when I speak and carry a pocket knife. doesn’t help me out at all
I also get pegged as the paper soft brother too. “You have a garden?” “You read?” “You read comic books?” “Rolling Stones ninja, really!?!?” “You never cheated on old girl?” and so on.
Then again I can discuss mid 90′s hip-hop, stax records, and give a “guns and butter” speech too.
From the outside looking in I’m a damn mess. So I’m all over the place but as I prefer to stereotype myself as just a man.
So I’m all over the place but as I prefer to stereotype myself as just a man
this sounds like the last line of a poem shihan the poet would read
“The fact that I sound like a redneck when I speak and carry a pocket knife. doesn’t help me out at all ”
*snickering*
I guess all the #1s are too busy drinking orange soda to reply huh….
lol, yeah. i dont think you’re gonna find that many one’s on vsb. they’re all over at sandra rose
Not really knowing what synthesizing, aura or peripheral means (esp. without hearing the words aloud first) makes the #1s hestitant to post. And there aren’t enough pictures on this blog, in general.
haha…hesitant. That’s what I get for being a snob.
Pitch perfect.
Ha!
I always get asked if I’m a weed smoking vegan. I’m not, but I just tell them I’m from Northern California (because I am)…
I do often attract a certain type of men…but they are usually intelligent, down-to-earth,and interesting – so I’ve got no complaints. My “look” is working for me.
I have to say, I really enjoy this post and the comments.. esp. the ones from the women. However, in response to the women tagging various dudes EUG and DTD i would almost (too shook to commit..lol) apply the same female version of the “EUG” and “DTD” tag to the women (SFG, LB, ES, im talking ’bout ya’ll types) I generally don’t do too bad dating, but its not bc of traits that women in this post say they’re looking for, although I think I exhibit alot of those traits. (and its more 3′s and 4′s that I am attracted to..)
In fact, I’ve NEVER dated a 2520′s however i’ve been told that “you seem like you do” numerous times – when im in settings with nuthin’ but ninjas, too! I dunno..
Why do I get the feeling that I know #3? Are you getting lazy Champ?
I would say that I am most likely a four, but my activity of choice would be swimming and running. Also, I am a natural sistah, not because I’m that artsy, but because I can’t do the chemicals anymore. Plus, I think I look so much better with natural hair.
Oh and I do love the food channel.
Classic post!!! “Standing next to Charles Rangel at the Urban League Event” – Classic!!
Oh man…this is rich.
this is HILARIOUS!! i’ve beent old about my handshake.. and HATE tyler perry movies (honestly, can he write ANY better)..
i have been told that my look affects the type of people that approach me.. i only appeal to a certain type.. some chicks are universally pretty to more than one type of male.. but that’s not me..
i’m very much the “tomboy grew up” kinda chick.. so, yeah, i got on my makeup, and the short dress.. but i’m usually talkin to the fellas about the Dolphins.. while the grandpas try to wine up on me..
it’s crazy because i KNOW what kind i’d like to attract, but it’s just not happening.. i’m gonna switch up my tactics..
my friend told me about the “Smile project”.. i’m gonna put it into effect..
This is so hilarious yet so true! Love it!
snickering @ you n the english cucumber. Sorry my humor is stuck in 5th grade
“your daughters name is cute.” – dead. Hilarious!
“you have the perfect handshake.” – I’ve been told this, loved it as a compliment and had a couple of good dates with that dude.
Anyway, I really don’t know what it is and I know I said it last night, but you are ON POINT this week Champ-ikins! I was literally having this conversation at the bar last night at the exact same time I’m normally checking VSB for the new post. I was too “sleepy” (looks left & right) to read this when I got home but reading it this afternoon is like having a replay of last night’s convo. Great post! (Clap, Clap, Bravo!)
I fit a lot more (outwardly) into #4 but inherently (in my heart of hearts) I am a bit of a #3… which creates the following dichotomy…. The dudes (I think) I like are usually the artsy/bohemian/different/skateboarder/backpacking set… I find them interesting and, well, different… However, I mostly attract and date the dependable/reliable/nice engineer or the down-to-earth business guy… I have very seldom dated what I think is “my type”… I have been told by the (dependable/reliable/nice) dudes that I am a good mix of geeky and fun… The problem is they very often are taken aback by the geeky side because they absolutely don’t see it coming. Lol.
Case in point: at a recent get together, I had a guy ask me what I did for a living (after we’d spent the whole evening chitchatting about nothing and enjoying libations), when I told him what I did… he couldn’t help but ask: “Are you serious?” I was like o_0, “why ever not”… His response and I am not making this up :” I really thought you were going an assistant or in Marketing or some sort of things like that”…. then “you are too much “fun” to also be a geek”…. say word?
Profiling gone wrong.
What’s up Sula?
Not much, Wuda.. had anything exotic for lunch?
I was going to have grilled salmon over a few steamed vegetables & rice. Topped w/ a cocoanut red curry sauce. But changed my mind & got a 3 dollar hollar @ burger king from the food court. LOL
Dead @3dollar hollar!
There was no middle ground between the salmon and the food court uh?
I just wrote a blog about how my comment on not wanting to engage in convo with a VERY SPECIFIC type of guy turned into a huge uproar as if stereotyping for self-preservation was somehow the number one reason for the disintegration of the black family unit lol… I specified a type of dress and a specific location and stated that the guys i have met that meet those criteria are usually in legal trouble. You would have thought I told the guys in the room that I hated their mothers! **smh**
I am glad that a man sees it my way.
Yo ever heard of Siang Mien. Chinese art of face reading. It’s like Shao Lin and sh*t.
Yeah Andre 3K read this after his dealings with Ms.Badu. I’m being serious.
Avid lurker, rare comment (er)
Not sure where I fit in this… “spectrum” (is it?)
But I have the tendencies of #4 and a tad bit of #3…and yea, some of #2.
ya won’t pigeonhole ME!
As much as I would love to hate… this is soo on point it’s scary. Freelance writer with a TWA who loves sushi and teaching a writing course to kids this summer. Don’t have any ex’s that date white women. Shit, not yet. He knows better then to let me find out! I’m going to have to re post this one… shit… you got me again. Yes, I got a blog…
I guess I’m aloof, but I’m not mean. I just don’t naturally grin ear to ear in a non-engaged mood. So yes if I’m standing at the valet waiting for them to get my car and fine man stands 10 feet from me. He might witness me politely smiling at the attendant and then standing there “aloof”. Whatever that means lol. Well I take that back. If I find him attractive I’ll glance his way and smile. And then do it again. If I only do it once I was just being polite and if you approach me I’ll pretend to be hurried. haha.
At any rate I don’t know where I fit in this. At-a-glance I’ll probably be profiled as the Angela Basset one. But deep inside I’m a Lisa Bonet ready to burst and be creatively great. But you’ll only get to know the coolness that is me if you aren’t intimidated by “aloof” and polished. Thats only my professional/networking demeanor/attire…
Wow…just wow. I have to comment as this is so on point! Number two all the way, I’d like a follow-up post please, with more profiles. Thanks!
I would like to see you expand on this. I too didn’t see a picture that fit me. I do understand the notion that your image makes people assume certain things about you.