Dating, Relationships, & Sex, Theory & Essay

The Power of Positive P*ssy Reinforcement

“Flying to upstate New York on a day where 90% of New England — including the city I was headed to — had no power

Each and every guy reading this can probably name several instances where he risked life, limb, sanity, freedom, credit, and the promise of half-priced roasted chicken wings for the pursuit of potential sex. (Yes. Potential sex. Not even definite sex or likely sex. Dudes always have and always will continue to put their lives on the line for the mere possibility of panties.)

These memories — prone to include anything from serial killer baby-daddies and dimly-lit Greyhound bus station bathrooms to $300 first dates and expired condoms — connect us, collectively bonding us one cringe-worthy recollection at a time while also providing concrete evidence to the axiom that men will do whatever we f*cking can to get some ass.

This isn’t suggesting that we’re always willing to throw everything away for the chance to make the beast with two backs, but we’ve all had those weak moments where immediate sexual desire trumps, well, everything.

In my case, I ignored the blackout. I ignored the fact that, at the time, no one knew whether it was a terrorist attack. I ignored the fact that since the city my friend (“Kim”) was in didn’t have any power, she didn’t have a working cell phone, couldn’t find out what time I was arriving, and couldn’t pick me up from the airport. And, most importantly, I ignored the fact that, because we had one of those post-college limbo relationships where you’re not really “friends with benefits” but you’re not exactly platonic either, nothing was guaranteed.

Now, did I risk my life flying to New York state just to get some ass? No. At the time, Kim was a pretty good friend of mine and since I hadn’t seen her in over a year, I was looking forward to hanging out with her. But, if you removed the possibility of p*ssy from the table, there’s no way in hell that I’m making that trip on that day.

I’m reminded of this story every time I hear a person mention the idea that crooked men would eventually straighten up if women just stopped seeing, dating, and sleeping with them. Basically, the idea states, if all the world’s women made a pact to decide that “illegal/immoral activity” = “no draws for you,” all the drug dealers, criminals, and just general assholes in the world would be some Wendy’s value fries making motherf*ckers.

When this point is brought up, there are usually two arguments that people (and by “people” I mean “women”) fall back on to try to refute it.

A) “Why should all the pressure be on women to change? Can’t these men just decide to do right for their own sakes?”

B) “I really can’t believe that men are so sex-influenced that they’d change their behaviors just because they don’t have access to women. Does everything you do revolve around sex?”

Admittedly, it is true that this mindset does put a ton of pressure on women. I can imagine it being quite jarring for a 16 year old girl to hear that her p*ssy can cure hunger, clean the streets, and kill Rick Ross. But, just because something is difficult to hear doesn’t mean that it’s not true.

Yes, the vast majority of what we (men) do is somehow connected to us being more sexually viable. We’re ambitious because ambition makes success more likely, and we ultimately strive to be successful so that we can do things — buy nice cars, live in nice houses, have white maids, etc — that widen our net of realistically obtainable women. The power of p*ssy potential is so vast and so omnipotent that you can convince young men in certain parts of the world to kill themselves (and others) just by telling them that wet, juicy, virgin p*ssy is waiting for them on the other side.

And yes, if women collectively decided to stop having babies with thugs, deadbeats, women beaters, and republicans, there would be no more thugs, deadbeats, women beaters, and republicans. It’s really that simple. No sense in robbing, raping, and murdering if the spoils of your labor didn’t include an automatic concubine or two.

Now, will this ever happen? Will all the planet’s women band together and decide to stop f*cking the Avon Barksdales and Bugsy Siegels of the world? Not likely. It’s quite unfair to ask them to do that. And, even if they did, one rogue ratchet determined to carry Waka Flaka’s seed would spoil the entire operation.

Most importantly, I just don’t know if women are ready to carry that type of accountability. I mean, since the beginning of time, the burden and the blame for all major man-made catastrophes — all wars, most crime, the spread of AIDS, Lil’ Kim’s post-2002 face, etc — has been solely placed on the shoulders of men. I might be wrong, but I doubt women can handle the pressure of being told that each “aint shit dude”-induced orgasm they’ve had has directly contributed to the world’s demise.

Still, a man can dream of a day where worldwide positive p*ssy reinforcement clears every corner, cuts down the world’s crime, and cleans-up every guy’s act. Until then, we’ll continue doing dumb sh*t, risking our limbs and lives for that potential, and women will keep pretending that their p*ssies didn’t kill Tupac.

—The Champ

Also, don’t forget your VSB duty to help keep Panama off the block and The Champ on the wagon and buy “Your Degrees Wont Keep You Warm at Night: The Very Smart Brothas Guide to Dating, Mating, and Fighting Crime”

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Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a contributing editor for EBONY.com. He resides in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes.

  • tezzybaby

    What!!?? no question at the end

    • tezzybaby

      Since I have no peen I can’t say that I can relate but I will say that in my younger days and by younger days I mean last week (ikeed ikeed), I have also done unusual things if I know the sex to be good, but it’s always an after the fact kind of thing not really along the lines of possibilities .

      • DG

        “but it’s always an after the fact kind of thing not really along the lines of possibilities”

        I would wager that most women likely don’t comprehend the “possibility of sex” notion….given that there’s not really a male equivalent to potential p#ssy (in most circumstances, d#ck is usually guaranteed)

        • Yaadgyrl

          U r correct…as Texan so eloquently pointed out, it’s more the after than the before for us.

          • Yaadgyrl

            *tezzybaby. Damn autocorrect

          • tezzybaby

            Well I am a Texan…so Good Job on all accounts lol

      • Yaadgyrl

        Gurl. I understand…I had a moment y’day….got it too good and felt myself in that ‘anything you ask you would get it’ state….listened to some Rick Ross and got my gangsta back…all’s well with the world…

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “What!!?? no question at the end”

      nope, because i knew you’d ask two for me

      • http://kineticculture.com NubianEmpress

        rogue ratchet! LMAO. sorry i just really enjoyed that line, and how you turned ratchet back into a noun.

      • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

        AHAHAHAHA, this kilt me.

  • ShardeMarie

    I cannot. This right here. I mean. “Wet, juicy virgin p*ssy” and “rogue ratchet”. I’m just done already.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      if you’re done, imagine how the virgins feel

      • ShardeMarie

        I lied. I’m never done. I just needed a quick break. Back to our regularly scheduled program.

    • ShardeMarie

      Now that I’ve caught my breath, I will say that p*ssy is awfully powerful and d*ck is a close second. I’ve seen men do some silly things for my panty drawers and I’ve done some silly stuff for some mandingo d*ck.
      *shrug* Sex is good.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5FR1LGsT7E TheAnti-Cool

    I’m doing my part as a crime-fighting VSS.

    #That’sNotWhatI’mLookingFor

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      #yourhashtagwentovermyhead

  • chan

    love it & agree

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      i love that you love it

  • SororSalsa

    With the right tools and a lifetime supply of batteries, I think women could give this a shot.

    • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5FR1LGsT7E TheAnti-Cool

      I think it’s worth a try…

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “With the right tools and a lifetime supply of batteries, I think women could give this a shot.”

      i agree. i have faith in you all

    • http://thatswhatgemsaid.wordpress.com Gem Jones

      i’ll drink to that *raises glass*

    • LMNOP

      I dont know… there are like 3 billion women in the world, and it’s hard enough to get three people to agree on something that doesn’t even matter or involve self-deprivation (like Wendy’s or Burger King?)

    • ShardeMarie

      I give it a shot every night.

      • http://thatswhatgemsaid.wordpress.com Gem Jones

        as do i. helps me sleep like a champ

        • ShardeMarie

          Nothing better than a post vibe slumber

        • http://twitter.com/SmartFoxGirl SmartFoxGirl

          With fantastic dreams too. Helps my blood flow.

    • http://www.twitter.com I’ll give it a try

      *goes to check stock in Duracell*

    • http://kineticculture.com NubianEmpress

      shee-it…

    • WIP

      I’d just be a nun.

      • SqueakDaddyKane

        Nun’s are hot.

        • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5FR1LGsT7E TheAnti-Cool
        • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

          I think “Get thee to a nunnery: Nuns are hot” should be on a tshirt.

    • http://www.wix.com/nefdesigns/portfolio designerMama

      Sorry… but there are some itches that batteries cannot scratch.

  • http://iamyourpeople.com I Am Your People

    The picture, though. #WhyMustICry

  • Andi

    I have heard this trope time and time again and I REFUSE to take any personal responsibility for all the chicks out there addicted to bad boys and there pipe game. It is just not my cross to bear. I am allergic to bad boys! I break out into hives any time a man is rude to me. My throat starts to swell whenever a guy is disrespectful.

    I like nice guys. Guys who are simps? no. But nerds with swag. Dudes who are brilliant and very funny. Smart guys remind of my Dad.

    My point is that I have never gone for the guy who didn’t call me back or played my life. And I’ve never understood how a woman could be attracted to someone who was mean to them. I just don’t have that chip. I’m also missing the chip that allows me to like urban/gospel stage plays. No shade to the women who are about this life, though maybe a side eye of confusion. But why is there p#ssy activity my concern and what could I do to change them anyway?

    • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5FR1LGsT7E TheAnti-Cool

      I like nerds myself. I’m attracted to awkwardness and unconventional sexsi. Have to be funny though.

      • Andi

        A couple of weeks ago, I got an invite to kick it with some brothas who were in town for a math conference. I was in hog heaven :)

        • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5FR1LGsT7E TheAnti-Cool

          I would have been too. :)

    • http://twitter.com/#!/legitimate_soul legitimate_soul

      I loves a cool-azz nerd. Gawd knows I do…

      • LA2Tally

        Co-sign all of this

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “But why is there p#ssy activity my concern and what could I do to change them anyway?”

      if peer pressure can work to get women to rock heels, it can definitely work to keep y’all from f*cking them

      • Andi

        But women didn’t peer pressure each other into heels. They adopted them because heels make the legs look firm and the @ss look taut and supple -> more appealing to men.

        Women don’t listen to other women. They compete with other women. And no woman is gonna compete with another woman to not smash. You don’t see any celibacy contest going down.

        • http://twitter.com/itztrizz617 herbetteroption

          women are grimey to other women, they will all agree to it and half of them will give in faster than Kramer in “The Contest” #imout

          • http://twitter.com/SmartFoxGirl SmartFoxGirl

            THIS!!

          • http://www.wildcougarconfessions.com wild cougar

            That would be me. I’d say eff yall bishes, I’m getting all the d*ck.

            • http://twitter.com/sweetdivalove Mia

              “That would be me. I’d say eff yall bishes, I’m getting all the d*ck.” <<< this right here. Word.

          • Yaadgyrl

            you sir are quite wise.

        • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

          Maybe heels in general are to attract men (because yeah, it does toot that booty up and make the legs look firmer/longer), but there ARE (straight) women who prance around in their heels for other women to express their approval. lol It’s like a dayum fashion show, sometimes.

          • Racqs

            Heels in general are for men. The brand and style are for other women (and gay guys too).

    • ShardeMarie

      Nerds are the best. And if you’ve ever slept with one, I swear they go from Clark Kent to Superman. They like to lift and move around just as much as the thugs do, only they whisper math equations in your ear while they do it. mmmmmmmm

      • http://twitter.com/#!/legitimate_soul legitimate_soul

        Pythagorean Theorem FTW!

        • ShardeMarie

          Personal favorite.

          • http://twitter.com/SmartFoxGirl SmartFoxGirl

            This is sick lol How can he even add while beating it up? My dudes usually are speechless while drooling ;) lol j/k

            • ShardeMarie

              They have to focus elsewhere when it starts feeling too damn good which is usually immediately. :-) lol

              • http://twitter.com/SmartFoxGirl SmartFoxGirl

                Ha! Good one. LOL

            • Eddie_Brock

              Some folks used to do math problems in their heads or used the hell outta the multiplication table to keep from ejaculating glitter everywhere..
              #andyesIstolethatshitfromyou
              :0P

              • http://twitter.com/SmartFoxGirl SmartFoxGirl

                LOL!

      • Andi

        O_O

        That whole scenario just made me feel… tingly….

        • ShardeMarie

          Like fingers tickling a graphing calculator.

          • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5FR1LGsT7E TheAnti-Cool

            Oh my…

      • naturalista88

        *Cackles*.

      • http://www.testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

        Not math though! lmao

        Can I get a literary nerd? Some dude to recite Neruda on the down stroke? Wishful thinking?

        *walks away whistling*

        • ShardeMarie

          I was a math nerd growing up so that’s what I reference. Plus I think its sexy when he can count my orgasms every time and then find the mean, median, and mode. hehehe

          • http://www.testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

            O_O Ma’am! lmao

            Well when you put it like that…

          • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5FR1LGsT7E TheAnti-Cool

            That sweet, innocent Gravi had me fooled. An angel in disguise you were…Please continue.

            • ShardeMarie

              ;-)

          • Yaadgyrl

            YepNot the m cubes…u r hilarious.

          • http://wewereninjas.wordpress.com/ Jay

            You FTW.

            • ShardeMarie

              *fist pumps*

        • ProfessorCourt

          the literary nerds are out there, and they are just as awesome :-)

          • http://twitter.com/itztrizz617 herbetteroption

            literary nerds get all the play they got quotes n poems for days…ima math nerd but honestly i got more play off being an art nerd

        • http://twitter.com/sweetdivalove Mia

          “Can I get a literary nerd? Some dude to recite Neruda on the down stroke?”
          Say that!!!!!!!

      • Yaadgyrl

        I can do a nerd w swag. Like one that grew up n the hood or something so should ish jump off somewhere, he can use his pocket protector to shank someone. I just need to feel safe and can’t eff w anyone I can beat up (and I’ve never had a single fight my entire life). I cannot do creative, artsy types. (1) they speak in metaphors and i’m just too direct for that ish (2) I get tired of trying to interpret art. Can’t we just pay for the little machine, pit in th number of the piece and then hear what the artist was thinking? To me it’s just some pretty swiftly lines on canvas…we are not @ the shrink so if you ask me what I see, it’s always just squiggly lines (3) they are usually broke and while I’m not a gold digger, brokeness and supporting his dreams goes only so far. At some point you need to just get a job…just cause you’re artsy you can get away with that starving artiste BS longer than your cousin, the 30+ yo wanna be rapper/producer but you’re really the same…both broke with no real source of income.

        • http://www.wildcougarconfessions.com wild cougar

          I had a nerd once. It guy who wore his polo shirt tucked into his khaki and bounced anround on his sneakers. Big ass fro. And glasses. Best. Sex. Ever. Then he went back in his nerd hole and disappeared. I haven’t gotten over it.

          • Yaadgyrl

            Moral of the story is nerds can be douchebags too.

      • http://www.mysixcents.wordpress.com K. LySha

        Cosign on nerds….now I’m having differential equation chex withdrawal….

      • enginegro

        ;)

    • http://www.testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

      And I’ve never understood how a woman could be attracted to someone who was mean to them.

      Never understood that either. Even if I think a dude is saying something boarderline I kind of put up a mental “Watch him” flag up. Dudes who are disrespectful just get straight up walked out on/hung up on. You can’t respect me, you can’t love me, you can’t love me, you can’t have me. :)

      I also agree on the nerds…but I also have a creative fetish. Are there creative nerds? o.O That’d be heaven…

      For some reason though, I always find myself paired up with dudes who aren’t as book smart as I am, but are wise in their own right. I always love that. Hell, I don’t know what I like…but I know what I don’t. I’m rambling -_-…

      *zips lips and sits down*

      • Andi

        “You can’t respect me, you can’t love me, you can’t love me, you can’t have me. :) ” <- YES!!!!!! What is so foreign about this?

        And I have a secret creative fetish as well, but I've pushed it deep down in side. I have sworn off artists in the romantic sense. They are (mostly) moody, inconsistent, unreliable, babies. Besides as an artist/executive hybrid myself, I have too much emotionality to manage on my own. I don't need anyone else's -_-

        • http://www.testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

          I don’t know why it’s foreign VP. Maybe because we haven’t been smang’d our perception is clearer :)

          Is that what that is? I’m a hybrid too (poet/analyist); I’m a bit more emotionally sound I think because I spend so much time analyzing myself so it comes off as I’m a little cold, so the artistic dude kinda warms me up #pause so that I can see the whole picture and not just the little details.

          The nerds? Some of them are a bit too…I don’t want to say awkward socially because I sometimes am too, but it seems like they don’t know how to ever get to the heart of the matter without really indepth discussions. Like “Sir, all I asked was if you thought this outfit looked nice. Why’d we just discussion proportions, schemes of color, vectors and affluence in Africa?”

          Is there an even balance of both? o.O

          • http://www.testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

            :( Please let the little comment that could go.

          • Andi

            “Maybe because we haven’t been smang’d our perception is clearer :)”

            Mayhaps ***nods in deep thought***

        • LMNOP

          “You can’t respect me, you can’t love me, you can’t love me, you can’t have me. ” <- YES!!!!!! What is so foreign about this?
          You VSVs are very wise to have figured this out in advance. It took me way too much painful trial and error to come to this conclusion.

          • Redsonyarn

            I’m with these ladies, I wish I would waste time with some fool. Intelligences makes me wetter.

            • Andi

              Thank you! What use do I have for a beautiful idjit?

              • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5FR1LGsT7E TheAnti-Cool

                Fck his stupid brains out, give him a juice box and send him home on the short bus?

                • GirlSixx

                  Basically!!!!

                  LOL

          • http://www.testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

            I can’t speak for Andi, but for me it just comes from knowing and respecting myself…and trial and error.

            There was a guy who was super persistent with me. I told him that I’m skittish and I tend to go slower and get to know a guy before I “date” him (what’s with that by the way? Do men just hate the “friendship” phase as a whole or what?) and he said he understood…but kept calling at least once a day and texting more. I told him if he couldn’t respect this one thing that I’ve said, he wasn’t it for me. It was lost in translation and I had to lose his number but that’s not the point…

            I may be sounding idealistic when I say this, but I don’t think a man can respect you and do you wrong. I think if he respects your wishes and you respect his, love comes from that, and when you love someone like that, doing them wrong either doesn’t cross your mind or is a fleeting thought.

            • Yaadgyrl

              Sometimes people eff up….I’ve done someone I love wrong…I respected him but I was very immature and selfish at the time. I’ve since grown up and hope I never hurt someone the way I hurt him but people do make mistakes.

              • http://www.testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

                Don’t get me wrong, I understand that mistakes can and do happen as we all have lapses in judgement. Maybe I should have said “repeatedly?” I don’t think a person can love me, or love me the right way rather, if they can’t respect me and do so repeatedly.

                • Yaadgyrl

                  I agree with repeatedly.

                • CurlyTop

                  Ooooohh, ok. Yeah, that “repeatedly” sure does change things.

            • Andi

              “I don’t think a man can respect you and do you wrong.”

              Perhaps it is my youthfulness as well, but I believe this too

              • WIP

                I’m not sure this is accurate. Most of us respect our parents but broke rules when we felt it was appropriate. Some of us respect our bosses but we steal pens and binder clips. And sometimes people just make mistakes.

                • Yaadgyrl

                  Well said.

                • CurlyTop

                  I’m with WIP. A man or woman can have a ton of respect for their SO and still fcuk it all up. I’ve seen it, I’ve done it. I think sometimes it is so easy to disrespect the ones we are closer to because we hope they will come back to us. But it doesn’t always work out that way.

                  @Yaadgyrl- Yea, I think immaturity could have played a significant role in my situation. I sort of had a latent anger issue and at the time I couldn’t control what I did. I think I could have violated one of the biggest rules in the book of dating, But that was then…

                • Mo-VSS

                  People do make mistakes, but many a-children will test the limits of their parents and their parents will interpret it as disrepsect, which is why the drama, beatdowns, groundings, occur. So, while you can respect and be disrespectful, you can’t respect and repeatedly f-k up because that shows an ultimate lack of respect and boundaries.

                  I’d like to think that goes for romantic relationships as well as the relationship with the parental units.

            • Kirk Lazzarus

              (what’s with that by the way? Do men just hate the “friendship” phase as a whole or what?)

              Sorry to break it to you but no man’s intial desire when he approaches you is to be a friend.

              • http://www.testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

                I know that. I understand that. But to get what he wants it’s a prerequisite. Does the man realize this, not realize this, or just not care?

                • RG

                  It’s a prerequisite for you and some other women, but life experience has told most men that 9 times out of 10 being your friend will relegate him to eternal friend and non-coitus status. Point blank, most men will risk alienating the 2% of the female population who are in favor of initial friendship to avoid the dreaded “friend zone.” I’m not doubting your sincerity on wanting friendship, but most women are talking out the side of their neck when they talk that friend mumbo jumbo and men know that. Will we turn-off some women in the process? Yeah probably, but overall, there are more successes than failures.

                  At the end of the day, its a numbers game. Also depends on where you fall in the men and women as friends discussion. I don’t buy into it, but I’ve heard that this mystical arrangement exists; however, the entire debate generally turns on semantics as to what is considered a friend. From what I gather, you don’t seem to mean friend in the traditional sense. I could be wrong though.

            • http://mrweethomas.wordpress.com Mr Wee Thomas

              Enough guys have heard the “I don’t want to ruin our friendship” line to fall for that. If they wanted to be friends, they wouldn’t be asking you out on a date.

              The whole point of dating is to get to know someone. So telling someone you just want to be friends to get to know them before you date them seems pretty convoluted and rings hollow.

              • http://www.testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

                But I personally feel that the word “dating” has such definite and most times negative connotations now. Dating to people in their twenties is different from dating in their thirties. Dating to twenties = I’m going to try to do as much as I can to fcuk you, and that’s it. Fast track it b*tch. Dating to thirties = I want to get to know who you are and what you like before we do something bigger, better. Let’s take our time.

                I think that you can’t really know someone until you’re friends with them because friends tell you things and show you things without the veneer of “I want your booty your big ol booty ” and you get to see the real them.

                *kanyeshrug* Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying most chicks don’t use friendship as a way to use men. Hell, I’ve seen it done. But I’m not one of them.

                • furious_styles

                  It might be a semantics thing. “Friend” carries some loaded connotations. “Friend” to dudes can mean to a dude “You’re like an ugly woman to me”. But the woman might have meant “Rapport.” e.g. “Let me at least know that I like you, we have some shit in common, and you’re not going to do something extremely stupid before we see each other naked”. Maybe the sexes should abolish that word altogether and create something else. What say you? Me no know anymore…

    • http://panamaenrique.wordpress.com Malik

      I have no swag. :(

      • http://www.testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

        Roll with it. I find the best game a man has is to go up to women on some “I don’t have much game for this kinda thing but I’m really interested in getting to know you,” type thing. Works on me. Nearly every time too.

        • WayUPThere

          that “i don’t have game” thing, is def a game technique

          • DanceHallKing

            Yeah , but I actually don’t.

            • Yaadgyrl

              Yuh cyaan name dancehall king wid no swag.

              • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

                I don’t know about anyone else, but I am thoroughly enjoying listening to the ladies lie to themselves and each other here; you guys aren’t interested in “nerds”; what you’re interested in is Tony Stark, who by definition is an oxymoron.

                That Rationalization Hamster is a powerful drug…

                LOL

                Carry on…

                O.

                • http://panamaenrique.wordpress.com Malik

                  Yeah, the whole ‘swag’ necessity kind of defeats the point of going after a nerd. Which by most definitions involves some variation of social awkwardness. I’m pretty sure the nerd angle started to work for my boy Donald Glover when he got on Community.

                  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5FR1LGsT7E TheAnti-Cool

                    I’m a nerd of the bookish variety. I’ve always preferred nerds. And nerds are awkward. Which is fine. As long as they’re still funny. And not living in their mom/grandmom’s basement/attic. And cute wouldn’t hurt.

                  • Andi

                    I feel like folks are using ‘nerd’ the same way I use ‘dork’. The two are entirely different subclasses to me.

                    • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5FR1LGsT7E TheAnti-Cool

                      NERD
                      1. a stupid, irritating, ineffectual, or unattractive person.
                      2. an intelligent but single-minded person obsessed with a nonsocial hobby or pursuit: a computer nerd. <—I mean this one

                      DORK
                      1. a stupid or ridiculous person; jerk; nerd. <—Not this one
                      2. Vulgar . penis. <—Or this one

                    • http://panamaenrique.wordpress.com Malik

                      The distinction between nerd, geek and dork is a nerdy discussion you nerd. ;) :P

                    • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

                      Agreed… folks need to learn themselves the many definitions of nerd, geek, and dork… and how all of them are different.

                      Especially if you don’t think a book nerd with swag isn’t possible. Womp.

                  • Andi

                    and I LOVE Donald Glover on “Community”.

                  • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

                    “I’m pretty sure the nerd angle started to work for my boy Donald Glover when he got on Community.”

                    Plus, the ninja is dopeness as Childish Gambino.

                • Alvin

                  Exactly! Nerds with swag? The two are mutually exclusive. Smart with swag is a better phrase.

                  • Yaadgyrl

                    Good point…smart with swag is a better term…

                  • Andi

                    ***rolls eyes***

                    Fine “smart with swag”, whatever. The entire point is that contrary to popular belief some women don’t prefer dope dealers and a$$hats.

                    • Alvin

                      I don’t think all women are attracted to dope dealers and a$$hats, but there are significant number who fall in that category.

                      Hearing your testimony, and the others, is encouraging.

                    • http://www.testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

                      My thing with that is, swag is so overused and overrated. :\

                      Can I have a smart guy with a unique personality? Do those exisist?

                  • ShardeMarie

                    I’m a nerd. I read random facts about the world and I watch Star Trek and I can add up the change in my purse really really fast, but I have swag. Being a nerd is swag. That’s why everyone’s rocking the glasses nowadays and suspenders are hot too. :-)

                    • Alvin

                      They may don the look of the nerd (rocking glasses and suspenders) but they don’t embody the personality of the nerd.

                      And though you may have nerd qualities (star trek, rain man like adding ability) you still don’t have a nerd’s personality. If you indeed have swag.

                • Andi

                  Oh yes Tony Stark. Because the thought of a tortured alcoholic who goes through women like toilet paper and has a suicidal side job really gets me going…

                  No, I did not mean Steve Urkel. I meant a very smart guy who is respectful but also very confident. These people do exist.

                  I’m sure your experience has been different, but not everyone likes a d0uche :)

                  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5FR1LGsT7E TheAnti-Cool

                    Don’t pay him no never mind chile.

                  • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

                    @Andi,
                    LOL. You ladies are nothing if not consistent. I was waiting for one of you to bring up the strawmen of Stark’s being an alcoholic, etc, et al. In so doing, you completely missed the point.

                    See Alvin and Malik’s points on this for more edification.

                    Women want Fried Ice, which is why I said, in my Dissection of Ms. “A Belle in Brooklyn” Lucas’ socalled “Man Manual” that attempting to make a Woman happy is a Fool’s Errand.

                    Thank you all for proving my point with this discussion. ;)

                    O.

                    • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

                      I’m not even gonna lie, I kinda want “Fried Ice” on a tshirt.

                    • http://www.testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

                      You know how to make a woman happy?

                      By not talking to her like she’s an idiot.

                      That always helps.

                    • Yaadgyrl

                      If I can have fried ice-cream, why can’t I have fried ice?

                    • Andi

                      @Tes

                      This is impossible for him. He has demonstrated that he finds most of the women on this site inferior. Debating with someone who has no respect for you is futile. Nothing you say will ever matter to them.

                      Engaging him was the fool’s errand. I’ll be better about it in the future. Sorry ladies :)

                    • http://twitter.com/thepopculturist thepopculturist (aka BKSweetheart)

                      O – I missed your dissection yesterday.. this oughta be pricesless lol… *going to yesterday’s post*

                    • MzPW

                      “Women want Fried Ice, which is why I said, in my Dissection of Ms. “A Belle in Brooklyn” Lucas’ socalled “Man Manual” that attempting to make a Woman happy is a Fool’s Errand. ”

                      I normally just peruse the comments for interesting responses, but seeing as how you tend to be a bit on the negative side whenever a few ladies offer their thoughts or perspectives on issues, maybe your “interest” lies more on the male side. Ever thought about examining this possibility?

                      (And before you go on some analytical, “look how incredibly eloquent I am” type of rant….NO, I am not using homosexuality as any type of put-down or in any sort of offense. It just seems as if you have an INCREDIBLE amount of annoyance whenever VSSers offer their thoughts; therefore, maybe an all-male community would be a better fit for you…just a thought…)

                • http://twitter.com/#!/legitimate_soul legitimate_soul

                  No, sir. Because I applied myself in school, I was called a nerd. I wasn’t socially awkward, I had/have personality, and my gear was fine. Guys in high school liked me, but I was still called a nerd (I embraced it). In some settings smart=nerd and folks are tripping on semantics because the term suggests something different to them. That is understandable, but that does not discount what some of us are saying when we say we like a cool nerd. I went to college with a slew of brothers who were “nerds”. Heck one could say the entire campus was filled with nerds and different levels of nerd-dom. Those brothas were geniuses, were not socially or physically awkward, and could hold their own in a fight or in a “dozens” session. Please let’s not confuse “nerd” with “p#nk”. Heck even Scott Pilgrim scrapped…. :D

                  • Andi

                    And there you have it.

                  • Alvin

                    I’m not confusing it with punk. I am using its traditional meaning. You have changed it to include just about everybody. You’re confusing the word with human. lol

                    • http://twitter.com/#!/legitimate_soul legitimate_soul

                      Alvin, is it the terminology that bothers you? Call it what you want. The point is, some of the ladies here described what they like and it wasn’t a thug.

                      However, with “Revenge of the Nerds”, Peter Parker, and Clark Kent what we are saying isn’t off-base. Despite looking “mild-mannered” to some we know the power within, lol!

                    • http://twitter.com/#!/legitimate_soul legitimate_soul

                      “You’re confusing the word with human. lol”

                      ^Actually, you might be right. We recognize good guys and humans…not dudes who should be shunned and ostracized by some arbitrary formula of what’s cool from people who ain’t shyt to begin with.

                    • Alvin

                      is it the terminology that bothers you?

                      If we’re to start reinventing the meaning of words, how can people communicate? All society will be lost as what was once understood by the collective, becomes amorphous and vague. I’m just trying to keep the world from tearing itself apart. lol

                    • http://twitter.com/#!/legitimate_soul legitimate_soul

                      You so dramatic, lol! Okay, okay….but you totally missed where I said you may be right and to call it what you want. *shrugs*

                      In closing, thanks for keeping the world from exploding and shat?

                      ;) :D

        • TheRealestLeo

          That actually works?

          And what is with all this sudden appreciation for nerds and the like? Wish this was present back when I was Super Nerd-ing it….lol.

          My nerd is on a whole ‘nother level. I still play Nintendo and Sega Genesis via emulators. I didn’t just play Zelda….I memorized those games. Jeopardy is my shiznit. I also have Monopoly down to a science.

          • Alvin

            “And what is with all this sudden appreciation for nerds and the like? Wish this was present back when I was Super Nerd-ing it….lol.”

            The nerds have good jobs now.

            • WayUPThere

              ….And the economy is in the tank now. Makes ya wonder doesnt it?

          • http://twitter.com/#!/legitimate_soul legitimate_soul

            ^@TRL, Once folks recognized that educational pursuits, gaming, comics, sci-fi, etc. are enjoyable hobbies and can provide dimension without a person being a doofus, socially inept, or unattractive, It Ain’t Hard To Tell. Nas.

            • TheRealestLeo

              And this is why some men end up being bitter and jaded. You tell a man that everything he has going for himself isn’t good enough for so long….tell him that all his qualities are pointless…and then when he’s in the middle of reinventing himself or otherwise telling the world to kiss his ass…now the stuff he thought was bad is good?

              • http://twitter.com/#!/legitimate_soul legitimate_soul

                TRL, you always, ALWAYS do you and be your authentic self. Hopefully everyone is growing and evolving, and yes that may incorporate some change, but you should not have to change the essence of who you are and the simple things that bring you enjoyment. If your hobby or interest isn’t keeping you from progressing in life, washing your a$$ regularly, or hurting you or anybody else, then do YOU. Honestly, everybody will have to tell someone to kiss their a$$ at some point in their life, possibly many points.

                By the way, glad you got back to the states safe. :)

                • WIP

                  Agreed. That reminds me of what one of the VSBs mentioned. You do the things you enjoy, not because they attract women but because it’s what you’re passionate about.* The ability to say F* the World is attractive. Beyond that, just meeting someone with true insight, opinions, passion is attractive.

                  *There is a limit. See the recent stuffed animal episode of Hoarders.

              • RG

                I think the best philosophy is to do you. Which can be summed up in another way: Men need to take the pu$$y off the pedestal and stop being a slave to it. Once these cats out here realize that pu$$y is readily available from desireable, intelligent women who enjoy it just as much as we do, the world opens up. It’s like in The Matrix when Neo realizes he’s The One. At that point your just seeing ones and zeroes. Funny thing is you get to the point where you realize that being yourself is what ultimately attracts women. Why? Because it is GENUINE confidence, not this fake a$$ swag ninjas talk about. I could be wrong, but I swear I’m not…Happy Hunting. And I’m gone.

                • TheRealestLeo

                  I agree with what you’re saying. I never put any pu$$y on a pedestal, because I’m selfish to the point where I almost won’t pursue a woman if she hasn’t shown me any considerable interest…..so therefore that cuts out all the pedestal-placing.

                  I see zeros right now…..It would certainly help if “Being Yourself” actually worked. Hard to do that when it’s unclear whether women actually give a fcuk about what “Yourself” entails.

            • http://twitter.com/kjnetic peter parker

              “Once folks recognized that educational pursuits, gaming, comics, sci-fi, etc. are enjoyable hobbies and can provide dimension without a person being a doofus, socially inept, or unattractive, It Ain’t Hard To Tell. Nas.”

              i thought women knew this when they were teenagers…i mean aren’t y’all the more ‘mature’ gender?

              *snickers*

              P.Parker

    • http://kineticculture.com NubianEmpress

      “Smart guys remind of my Dad. ” <~~~~~~~ the answer for why you don't have the 'rogue ratchet' chip.

      #dropsmic

      • LA2Tally

        Yep!

      • Andi

        Duly noted lol

    • http://twitter.com/kjnetic peter parker

      “I like nice guys. Guys who are simps? no. But nerds with swag. Dudes who are brilliant and very funny.”

      Nerds with swag?

      hmm…

      that’s like me liking Video Vixens that go to Yale, right?

      • Andi

        People are getting very caught up in semantics today.

        If by video vixens who go to Yale you mean sexy girls who are also very smart and highly value education then sure, go for it. I promise these chicks are real.

        I know that smart guys who are also confident and sexy (aka ‘nerds with swag’) exist because I’ve dated and befriended them.

        • Yoles

          andi

          i have no idea why it seems like people are acting like the smart kids can’t be funny, sexy or even comfortable with themselves…
          and i personally know plenty of ivy league and non ivy league educated viden vixen sorts… she does her work, has her hobbies, does more school work, graduates summa cum laude and still likes to drink, party and bullshyt on the weekend, enjoys dropping it like its hot to songs with questionable lyrics and so on and so forth… it appears that we are so caught up on smart must= unattractive or weird looking etc.. that isn’t true.. smart is smart… looks are looks… and they are not mutually exclusive…
          adult film star asia carrera is a member of mensa
          playboy playmate of the month julie peterson now dr. peterson is a member of mensa

          • Yoles

            even rapper chino xl.. aka Derek Keith Barbosa is a member of mensa… hmpf

        • http://twitter.com/kjnetic peter parker

          i guess its due to my personal experiences. lo siento.

          and yes, i knew a lotta dimes at Penn. i won’t lie.

  • http://tdlove.wordpress.com Tonya

    Sitting in my chair with a homemade smoothie (cause it’s too damn hot in Oakland right now) waiting for answers to the unspoken question:

    “So..what unusual thing you done for the possibility of sex?”

    FYI: Dark Cherries are the essential agreement for a good smoothie.

    • http://tdlove.wordpress.com Tonya

      Ingredient. ..though cherries do agree with smoothies. :)

    • http://twitter.com/#!/legitimate_soul legitimate_soul

      *Brings in a box fan, turns it on, and a pitcher of frozen margaritas to wait with you*

      • naturalista88

        Hooray for margaritas!! **Pours up a glass and finds a seat**.

      • LMNOP

        Yay frozen drinks!!
        I brought strawberry daquiris!
        I’ll give up f*cking as.sholes for some delicious frozen drinks.
        At least until I’ve had too many of them and forget I said that.

        • http://twitter.com/#!/legitimate_soul legitimate_soul

          Ooooh, red drank! Is this light or dark rum? *thinking about this mixing with the margaritas*

          • LMNOP

            light rum, but the great thing about e-drinks is you can mix and match what ever you want, and you’ll feel fine in the morning.
            I accidentally e-drank a glass of gasoline yesterday (long story) and I didn’t even get sick.

            LMNOP’s magic hangover cure

            • legitimate_soul

              Yup. You are absolutely right. *holding a cup of both frozen beverages.* Double fisting is what they call it. Pause.

              • LMNOP

                LOL, my innocent little self didn’t catch that other meaning at first, but OW! I’m not quite sure what double fisting means but it sounds very painful.

                • http://twitter.com/#!/legitimate_soul legitimate_soul

                  I know. I winced after I typed it. No bueno.

          • Lina

            since they’re all frozen, it’s all good ;)

  • http://www.twitter.com/SoulaPowa Soula Powa

    Until then, we’ll continue doing dumb sh*t, risking our limbs and lives for that potential, and women will keep pretending that their p*ssies didn’t kill Tupac.

    And the award for the most awesome closing sentence for a VSB post goes to The Champ.
    O_O
    (Tupac dead. When he come back, he’ll be behind Jesus)

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      And the award for the most awesome closing sentence for a VSB post goes to The Champ.
      O_O
      (Tupac dead. When he come back, he’ll be behind Jesus)

      where’s my gotdamn trophy?

      • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5FR1LGsT7E TheAnti-Cool

        Presents you with Deez with the hope that wasn’t your entire gotdamn acceptance speech.

        You’re welcome and sht.

        • tezzybaby

          LOL

  • WayUPThere

    “Still, a man can dream of a day where worldwide positive p*ssy reinforcement clears every corner, cuts down the world’s crime, and cleans-up every guy’s act.”
    I stood up and clapped after reading this sentence…..

    Anyway, champ’s right. We will only go as far as you women let us. Por ejemplo, if one women doesn’t like the fact that I wanna spend all day drinking, I’ll go find another who drinks just as hard. If one girl, doesn’t like me sleeping around, I’ll go find another who doesn’t want a commitment. If one woman doesn’t like the fact that I don’t wanna take care of my kid, then I’ll find another who wants me to be solely about her. But there’s no way to make this happen. Because as champ said, there will always be someone looking to mess the whole thing up.

    Us menfolk (by and large) are sex driven. It may be good, may be bad, but it is what it is. We’re highly motivated by gushy-gushy, but more driven than expected by good “gushy-gushy.” We are VERY (if there was a way to make this “very” even larger and bolder) motivated by good “gushy-gushy”.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      i would totally rock a “very motivated by good gushy gushy” t-shirt

    • LMNOP

      I hope you are talking about a hypothetical “I” who would do all this ssht.

    • WIP

      Going by this comment, you’re not asking women to stop putting up with your mess. You’re asking women to stop doing the sh*t they want to do too! The women in your scenarios would have to stop drinking so hard, decide she wants a commit, and decide to care about your kids.

      This is another problem with this theory; what about all the trifling, “ain’t-sh*t” women? The need some trifling men to mess with. Now you’ve gone beyond just not having $ex; you’re talking about giving those women some similar motiviation to stop doing what they do. I’m not sure what that motivation will be though since we haven’t pinpointed the reason women engage in shenanigans. If we decide withholding will stop male foolishness, what will stop female foolishness?

      • Scorpio?

        hmmm… nods in deep thought… I see your point here. There are indeed quite a few ain’t sh!t ratchet women out here and we have not addressed why they engage in dastardly deeds…. I must go think about this…. thanks

        • http://twitter.com/#!/legitimate_soul legitimate_soul

          @Scorpio, Love the avi! :D

      • WayUPThere

        I’m not asking for women to stop doing anything. I’m just saying that whatever negative trait that one women has a problem with, (and negative is relative of course) another women will accept. And these other women are usually of the “aint-ish” variety,” so it creates an endless cycle, which is why I said there is no way to make this happen.

        When we get past the funny hyperbole that good p*ssy reinforcement can save the world, I think that the second thrust (pun intended) of this post, is that guys will only go as far as you let them.
        -1st point is that yeh, we’ll do a lot for the good stuff. (good stuff is key. we won’t care much if its only decent)
        -2nd point is that, given what we’ll do for the stuff, if women withheld it from “aint ish ninjas” it would give them incentive to clean up their act so to speak.

        Reinforcement of positive actions with gushy gushy encourages us to start and maintain positive actions, while reinforcement of negative actions give men no incentive to change their lives

        • WIP

          As I stated below, the actions that whithholding would affect are very limited. Bad behavior of the kind discussed today has more to do with self-respect, goals and good sense than it has to do with whether women like it.

          But yes, how could the woman in your example that loves to drink hard then shun men that drink? How coule the woman in your example that likes to sleep around ignore guys that like to sleep around? Those woman would have to change their own behaviors before they could logically (and unhypocritcally) hold men to a higher standard. Therein lies the additional problem I mentioned.

          • WayUPThere

            “Going by this comment, you’re not asking women to stop putting up with your mess. You’re asking women to stop doing the sh*t they want to do too! The women in your scenarios would have to stop drinking so hard, decide she wants a commit, and decide to care about your kids. ”
            Not necessarily. Oftentimes, a relationship starts out and ole boy is Dr. Jekyll. But then a few months down the road, and Mr Hyde’s heavy drinking, sleeping around, deadbeat dad ways come to light. That’s what I was referring to and the basis for my comment.

            The women in my example who drink hard, like to sleep around, etc, are just peripheral really. The comment was more for the relatively good women who find that Dr. Jekyll turns into Mr. Hyde, and wonder what to do with him. The ratchets aren’t the ones who are asking for him to change or shunning him for his vices; instead, they’re the reasons why he won’t change because he knows that the ratchets are his safety net. The ratchets don’t hold him to a higher standard; they allow him to maintain a low one and act as he pleases. (smh, i know) And this is why the possibility of “worldwide positive p*ssy reinforcement” is as much of a dream as anna kournikova winning a tennis tournment (no shade thrown at her, but i don’t think she even plays anymore)

            And yes, bad male behavior oftentimes does have to do with a lot more than gushy gushy, but if we removed all the ratchets and guys saw the negative feedback they got from bad behavior, they’d have more incentive to stop.

            As for the problematic women who perpetrate this bad behavior, SMH to the nth degree. I saw a middle aged women at the Fine Fare a few days ago, loudly cussing while talking to her teenage son and just being loud and obnoxious in public. You could hear her about 4 aisles over. I have neither a clue as to why they are the way they are nor a hint of how to stop them but I have a possible answer of how to get rid of em:

            We find all the aint-ish ninjas and women, invite them to an aint-ish type function (adult pajama party at club love over on mlk blvd), get them sequestered into one area, then kidnap em and send em all to Russia or some pacific island. Far enough away so that they don’t bother us and that the ratchets and aint-ish ninjas dont have to negatively affect the dating pool any longer.

            • WIP

              LOL, your example makes me think of the story recently about the woman talking loudly on her cell phone that got thrown off the train. I heard the story when I couldn’t see the TV and the first thing I thought was ‘damn, I bet it’s a black woman too’ and of course, she was. I think ratchet’s serve have a purpose; they just need to stick with each other.

            • Scorpio?

              Claps, kudos, and everything in between… now THAT is the truth well stated.

          • TheRealestLeo

            Women in college don’t like college guys. Women in the military don’t like military men…….