***admin note: I’m sure you’ve noticed that I’ve been pretty absent from these parts during the day, and night for that matter. The powers that be at my job have determined that VSB is not fit for my consumption during the day. So basically, I need a new job. We’re working on finding a way to get around this but as of now, we’ve been unsuccessful. You’ve never seen a brotha do SO MUCH to get himself kicked out of a job…during a recession. Basically, I love y’all.***
I remember in 1997 when Def Jam’s How To Be A Player was released. Much like every other young man (though I was 18 at the time) I figured that I could use whatever tips the movie shared and parlay them into beacoup college booty.
Oh the possibilities. Especially if you consider the fact that Bill Bellamy was the “player”. I figured if folks would actually believe that Bill Belamy was pimp.tight than Panama Muhf*ckin’ would DEFINITELY be able to snag the snappy. Who knew that women actually thought he was attractive.
Jinky’s.
Aside: Am I the only person who thinks that Joe made some of the absolute best music of the late 90′s? “Don’t Want To Be A Player No More” and “(All The) Things Your Man Won’t Do” were some of the bestest songs ever. Fo’reel.
Anyway, that didn’t work out so well. I mean I had chicks and all but really, a player I wasn’t. I couldn’t just walk into a room and book any woman I wanted. I couldn’t just point to a woman and she’d walk towards me because of my beguiling ways. Fact is, until about age 23, I was just that dude who had plenty of women friends and had a few breezies spread out across the AUC. Never at a loss for a woman, but definitely not beating them away with a stick. The game just wasn’t in me like that.
In essence, I was a regular Joe. Joe Q. Public. I just lived and learned.
Seriously, who remembers that song?
Other cats had the game. They had that Oakland game. The type of game that only comes from the true players and macks of yesteryear. To them, I tip my had. But most men (and women) talk a better game than they play. And with that in mind, here are a few ways you can tell if somebody’s (or even maybe your own) game ain’t as tight as they (you) think it is:
- you have chicks (or men) but they all look just a little bit better than average but not good enough to have anybody else REALLY interested in taking your woman (or man)
You ain’t a player if you ain’t snaggin’ the object of other people’s desire. That’s a fact, pimpin. You especially lose points if all of your tricks are of the strong-faced variety. And no, that’s not a good thing. At all. Word to Whoopi.
- you pay for everything
Women who have the game down get their rent paid. Men get clothes and prescription drugs (the Health game is mad depressing right now). If you still pay all of your own bills, you’re not a player, you’re just a citizen who dates.
- there are currently no standing rumors about you permeating your circle
Every true player has somebody spreading lies about them. It’s part of the allure that drags unsuspecting prey into the fold. If nobody knows who you are, or even worse, cares, you are not up to player par. Hell, think about this, at this point Ray-J (believe or not) is a player. Strangely, there is a huge sect of women out there who love Ray-J. And not because of the great music he makes! That’s a joke, though I do like his last two albums.
Sue me.
And you know you watch his show on vh1. It’s okay to admit it.
Oh, and you get points if women actually HATE eachother because of you.
Score.
- nobody actually pursues you
That one’s pretty obvious but you’d be amazed at how many “players” aren’t in demand. Or, as my good friend Ray Cash would say, are merely pimps in their own f*cking mind.
- your mama can name every woman you know
If your mama knows them, that means she’s meeting them, which means you ain’t a player. Players don’t catch feelings. And only a sucka with feelings would take a woman/man to meet their mama. Word is bond.
***
So good folks of VSB.com, what are other ways of determining a cat doesn’t have the game he or she claims to have?
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P
By the way, I HATE this Afromance ad. I absof*ckinlutely hate it.
First?
Your phone never rings, vibrates, or lights up. Why? Cus ain’t nobody calling your ass. Ain’t nobody looking for you. Ain’t nobody mad because you aren’t with them. Basically, nobody really loves you but your momma. And she only likes you a month before Mother’s Day.
@Hostess,
*left fist to mouth, right hand waving in the air, rocking side to side*
DAAAAAAAYUUUUUMMMM, Hostess…you killing’em with this one!!
@Hostess,
I’d add that if you ACT like you’re talking on the phone to someone of the opposite sex when you’re around other company. Yeah, you’re fakin’ the funk.
@Monk,
More than fakin’ the funk, anyone who does this is a fukkin idiot!
@Hostess,
Basically, nobody really loves you but your momma. And she only likes you a month before Mother’s Day.
LOL.
*still sniggling at…
“If you still pay all of your own bills, you’re not a player, you’re just a citizen who dates.”
in male defense…chicks don’t pay d1ck’s bills…*shrugging* maybe that’s just me…but I will say, you are NOT a player if your “team” knows your “board of directors”…breezys don’t meet close friends…not ALL of them anyway…*insert hoodus maximus impression* cuz she be scoping, suckin’teef when she see your boy in public…and be all asking him where you at and sh1t!! No Good Can Come From It! (NGCCFI)
@GOODENess, “If you still pay all of your own bills, you’re not a player, you’re just a citizen who dates.”
I was laughing at this too. This is a good one…
@GOODENess,
“you are NOT a player if your “team” knows your “board of directors”…breezys don’t meet close friends…not ALL of them anyway…*insert hoodus maximus impression* cuz she be scoping, suckin’teef when she see your boy in public…and be all asking him where you at and sh1t!! No Good Can Come From It! (NGCCFI)”
Even if you aren’t a player, this rule should still apply to a certain extent. It’s really a small world and shyt.
@GOODENess, I disagree with this one, Breezy’s can meet ya close friends…. If they fittin to jump for them too
@GOODENess,
I know many men who have chicks of all ages just givin em stuff…money, gear, whatever. My cousin (before he traded his ride for the minivan) stayed gettin gifts from the lastest chickenhead that capped him off at the club on Saturday. That dude is gifted. His brother always has a snowbunny takin care of him and watching his kids. He stay broke but he stay fly.
@Deviant,
I know many men who have chicks of all ages just givin em stuff…money, gear, whatever
i have a friend like that too, only the chick in question is his mom
@The Champ,
is he over 30?
if you feel the need to talk about how much game you have. true players don’t need to say sh*t, it just radiates as they walk by, kinda like prince’s orange aura.
also, if you have multiple one-night stands but no returned calls or follow-ups. i just found out that one of my good guy friends is terrible in bed, so this one resounds with me particularly. i feel extra bad for the dude, cos he really does think he has game…. i’m not sure if i should let him know he may need some extra tutoring in that – ahem – subject…
@puff,
so how you “find out” he was bad in bed?? huh? huh? lol
@GOODENess,
lmao – i know a girl who hooked up with him (although she doesn’t know i know him) and she straight blasted his game… made him sound like a monkey trying to tune up a spaceship with a hammer… very sad, especially as he’s cute.
@puff,
The cute ones are the worst…they figga since they are cute, they have less to prove in the sack…my birds call this “prettyb1tch” syndrome…
*standin’ in my b-boy stance talkin like a dude*
prettyb1tches are lazy in bed because they can be…folks be so geeked to smash they don’t pay attention that it’s borderline necroph1l1a!
I say booooooooooooooooo *panting and catching breath* oooooooooooooo! to that sh1t!! I got 99 problems a prettyb1tch ain’t one!
@GOODENess,
…if u’re having rhythm problems, i feel bad for you, son…
@Resident GRitS & GOODENess…
DYINNNNNNNG! lol! that whole post was so unserious!
@Resident GRitS,
whyyyyyyyyyyyy??!??!?!?!! *buries face in hands* i’m NEVER going to be able to look at him with a straight face again… EVER!
sidenote, am i allowed to be kind of smug about his whack game because of the fact that he only dates white women?
@GOODENess,
I’m so stealing the “pretty bytch” phrase. I hate them dudes and never had a good catchphrase for ‘em.
@puff,
a monkey trying to tune up a spaceship with a hammer
lol….this image made me laugh aloud. actually, it was more like a cackle
Well I dont care what other ppl say about ppl they had sex with. People use sex as a weapon, how do I know she wouldnt “do something” for my boy and he then in turn felt like you’ll get the usual and not the special? As women if yall think yall can deny us ad infnitum and STILL get the shit fucked outta you ya buggin. Women as a general rule dont handle rejection well. She could be one of them and is all up in my face tellin me “your boy shoot too many ariballs” my reply: “an? you’re sleeping with him” but again I dont have my core group of friends and their JO’s in my face in fact we dont introduce anyone’s JOs at all if I come over and shes there whatever on the reg though I see her on myspace or whatever and we cool. But it would only register if its his girl and she really is concerned but knows she cant come right out and say it so she ask me as friends have we been kicking it about sex and as a friend I’ll know to act “oh-oh, son might have been on cruise control” but I havent given a damn what some straggler opinions is on my boys performance since high school.
@puff, Please consider telling him your community service for March. You will be helping women! Does he know you know this chick? If not, you can bring her up, use her name and tell him how wack she said a dude was. His pride won’t be hurt as much but hopefully, he’ll step up his game.
@Hostess,
lmao at community service… no, he doesn’t know i know her, but my college is kind of small… hopefully no one’s business will get put out further than it needs to be (or than they’ve already put it).
@puff, Hold up! Dude is still in college? There’s time for him to be helped. You have to tell him, You just gotta. Or else, he will leave school, go off into the world, & think his shyt doesn’t think (cus he’s educated and shyt)! He’ll be walking around like he invented the gee-spot. He’ll be an asshole. And it will all because YOU didn’t step up and put a glitch in the matrix.
@puff,
hopefully no one’s business will get put out further than it needs to be (or than they’ve already put it).
I’m sure he’s already put some of his bizness out there! People like ur friend are usually the ones with the biggest mouths about how good (delusional) they are in bed
@puff,
also, if you have multiple one-night stands but no returned calls or follow-ups.
i remember a chick telling me that this was a sign that a guy was terrible in bed. i guess that does make sense
…you’ve got to live and LEARN (Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!)
…you’ve got to live and learn (Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!)
…before your bridges BURN (Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!)
…you’ve got to live and learn (Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!…tell’em what it is…)
*I used to think they said “before you breed your sperm”…Ha! the music of my youth.
IMO, you’re not a player if your ‘social’ calendar is always wide open. For a true pimp, there just aren’t enough hours in the day…so, if you never have any pressing or standing engagements, you ain’t doin it right.
@Resident GRitS,
I thought it went “before your brain gets burned.” lol
@Resident GRitS,
IMO, you’re not a player if your ’social’ calendar is always wide open. For a true pimp, there just aren’t enough hours in the day
do pimps make plans though?
@The Champ,
Yes plan to get this money. Plan to get more money. Plan for this money to get more money. -N- hit the pimp ball.
@WuDaMan,
so pimps have portfolios?
@The Champ, I don’t know do pyramid schemes have portfolios? If so then yes. W/ the pimp being the apex of the pyramid…
In these internet days, I’d say, if you have a gang of naked a**, hella fine people as your friends, and none of them actually appear in ANY pictures WITH you…not pimpin’
if you are “in the streets” but your twitter/fb updates are occurring every 7 min…not pimpin’
if you have to txt 20 people at a time just to get some movement on your respective cellular device….not pimpin’
@Jeandra, But do pimps want to really be pictured too much?
@Hostess, pictured?
@Jeandra, Yeah you know, in photographs. I thought they wouldn’t want to take pictures with bunches of people.
@Hostess,
so pimps are basically like dick cheney?
@The Champ,
Dick Cheney is
a.) A vampire
b.) A figment of our collective imaginations
( A & B -seriously, the last time we spotted him was after the shooting incident)
c.) A robot build by the government to coerce the multitudes into doing whatever they want/ distract us by the sheer size of the dude’s cajones or lull us into a false sense of security after 9/11
d.) The king of the universe (only way to explain all the ish his been able to get away with)
e.) All the above
@ofloveandotherdemons,
e.) for $2500, Alex.
@ofloveandotherdemons
I’ll go with E also. Although, I would like to point out that the last glimpse I got of him was at the inauguration….in a wheelchair nonetheless. LMAO
@Hostess,
depends on what kinda pimpin they doin.
@Jeandra,
“if you are “in the streets” but your twitter/fb updates are occurring every 7 min…not pimpin’”
this blows my mind…esp. people who update in the club.
..”i just ordered a drink yall”…
umm okey dokey.
@Princess Duvet aka “The Princess Has Spoken”,
Twitter is the pinacle of narcissism. I don’t get it? Why do I need to know your every thought and action in real time? Seriously, why???
Someone needs to explain this to me.
@ofloveandotherdemons,
I would like someone to explain it to me as well.
My peeps are begging me to join, I’m like…c’mon, you ain’t that interesting in person-I don’t need to know your whereabouts 25/8.
@miss t-lee,
yup.
@miss t-lee,
i dont update myself too much, but i like to follow other people.
right now i’m following Questlove , Q-tip, and Xzibit. The three of them are pretty funny.
@Jeandra,
Oh yeah?
One of my co-workers got a tweet from Bucwild(Flavor Of Love Chick) cause she mentioned something about her on one of her posts…lol
@miss t-lee,
whaaaaaa?
see i really have no idea how this thing works….i thought only people you accepted/friended or whatever could see your tweets like facebook…..or can anybody see it? *head tilt* a la bucwild (i lost 5 classy points by even typing her name…shudder) being able to see your friend’s post and respond? this is me guessing your friend and that chick aren’t friends….
@miss t-lee,
It’s like the blind leading the blind here chick. lol
Apparently if somone says someone’s name I guess they can search and see who said what, and then send that person a message back.
I could be wrong though…lol
@miss t-lee, I almost want to develop a conspiracy theory. Like Big brother is watchin us…
@WuDaMan,
I was listening to the radio this morning and this deejay (if you wanna call em that these days) made a good point. People BEG for privacy, but they are tweeting every 3 minutes. Twitter is gonna put TMZ out of a job.
@WuDaMan,
good point.
@ofloveandotherdemons
Please explain it to me too. I get the general idea, but seriously.
When you really think about it, this whole internet take-over is alarming. It’s become a way a life, where any and everything is available to the public. There is no such thing as privacy any more. I don’t know how I feel about it……Sure I utilize it, but at the same time WTF.
It used to be one could wild out, and the only people witness to it were those who were around. Nowadays someone is recording with their phone, and uploading it on youtube. Beefs are taking place on the internet (yeah Im talking to you 50, Gillie da kid, bow wow/souljah boy/ice-t). It’s riDUNKulous!
I used to think my cuz was a pimpstress. I mean she has men stopping traffic to get to her and dudes have payed her rent… all that.
Then it recently dawned on me that ALL of her men, the ones she claimed and who claimed her, cheated on her. Not to mention, her steadies are always not quite average looking. One was even a bit midget-y and was bipolar. The current one has a bell and would rather drag race with his boys than stay home and get some (as told by her). The super, duper fine ones are always ‘afraid of commitment’; her words, not mine.
@iloVEGrits,
that should read ‘has a belly’ not ‘bell’.
@iloVEGrits,
“One was even a bit midget-y and was bipolar.”
this is why you’re HOT!
@iloVEGrits, It could also be that SHE has commitment issues. People are only as faithful as their options (C. Rock, circa 2005). Another issue with traffic stopping women is that they are a prize and once men get them, they loose interest, put them on the shelf, and go drag racing.
*rapping to self*
“I’m not a player, I just crush a lot…”
I can’t co-sign Joe’s songs…never liked them. I can’t deny the “Still Not A Player (remix)” that Pun had him in though. That gets a pass.
I would never consider myself to be a player. “I’m More Like A Pimp”. **shout out to 2nd II None and DJ Quik…ha haaaa**
Kidding…just felt like sayin’ that…excuse me and shyt.
Anyway, I think one dead give away of a fake “player” or fake “female mack” (Shout out to Smooth a.k.a. M.C. Smooth) is that they ALWAYS talk about the folks they USED TO be with or conquested. If you’re constantly bragging about your perceived past, either you’re a retired player/playette, or not one at all. If you’re a player, get some new shyt to talk about instead of the same regurgitated stories.
@Monk, But should players be talking about their current stuff?? Shouldn’t they let the aura speak for itself?
@Hostess,
should players even be talking?
lol, actually, since players can’t talk, text, take pictures, use the internet, or buy their own sh*t, what separates “being a player” from “having muscular dystrophy”?
@The Champ, Nope. It’s BEING Dick Cheney. From here on out, I’m calling wanna be pimps, ‘Dick Cheney’.
Its still tricking if y ou got it!
If s/he be asking bout your friends and spending more time talking to them…watching them…licking his/her lips at them…making goo goo eyes…
Not pimpin son! -_-
@Dope Fiend,
i think you can do better
“Or, as my good friend Ray Cash would say, are merely pimps in their own f*cking mind.”
Ray Cash? Nah…Ray stole that ish from UGK or wait, I think it was 8Ball and ‘nem, but the song was a different title (I think!). That album was purely asstastic, and I don’t have the heart to tell my homegirl who consistently bumps it as her “getting ready to go out music.” Le sigh.
Joe–yes, that “All that I Am” cd is his best work to date. Every track was solid. Now? Not so much. He needs to sit down. for real.
Unfortunately I do remember Joe Public, and that horrendous song…lol
To answer the question,
“what are other ways of determining a cat doesn’t have the game he or she claims to have?”
They talk too much.
Point.Blank. Period.
@miss t-lee,
That album was purely asstastic, and I don’t have the heart to tell my homegirl who consistently bumps it as her “getting ready to go out music.” Le sigh.
if your homegirl is listening to ray cash on a regular basis, i think her issues run deeper than the music
@The Champ,
Oh trust…I already know this.
@miss t-lee,
You must plan an intervention. Friends don’t let friends bump wack shyt ALL the time.
@Monk,
I have tried. She one of them chicks who doesn’t listen to a lot of hip-hop so she doesn’t know any better.
I try to limit the time I ride in her car, I almost always drive when we go out…lol
I don’t know much about players, but I do know that everyone that has left a comment today doesn’t fall under the player category. Why you ask? Because the game is to be sold not told!
Okay I think I heard that line in one of 50 Cent’s “Pimpin Curly” episodes.
@eff yo couch,
50 has been killing me softly with them skits.
Pure d. nonsense…lol
@miss t-lee,
Yeah if I had the cash like 50, I too would have a camera folllow me around and post silly stuff on the net all day. I would probably show up to work dressed like Ronald McDonald smoking a fat one. . . but that’s just me
@eff yo couch,
We can dream…lol
@miss t-lee,
Who said anything about dreaming? I got my white make-up right now, breaking up this sticky icky in my cubical! WHAT NINJA WHAT? *starts barking like DMX at a prison guard (no rick ross)*
@eff yo couch,
It’s too early for me to be laughing this hard…stop it!
*arf,arf*
@eff yo couch,
50′s “Pimpin’ Curly” series is part of the reason I’ll always respect and be a fan of his. Being care-free is a BEAUTIFUL thing. Also, dude’s not afraid to fail…gotta love someone who takes chances.
I’ve had trips sponsored, but never rent or bills paid.
Everybody aint able…
@buh_buh_hotep,
welcome and sh*t
@buh_buh_hotep,
welcome!!!
*shooting gold stars*
Panama, don’t switch jobs.
Just post from your BBerry during potty breaks.
@buh_buh_hotep,
I was gonna suggest this also. It really works if people know that you already use your blackberry (or other phone) for work-related stuff anyway.
A cat who has game doesn’t have to lie. He’s so smooth with telling you that you are not the only one and still you stick around.
Nuccas who lie and are constantly covering their tracks are not getting it.
@NickiSunshine,
lol…is that “game” or “d-game”?
@The Champ, Huh? I think u just went over my head man. :p
@NickiSunshine,
think of a colloquialism that starts with the letter “d” that, in context, could fit in that sentence.
@The Champ, Ooooh. God it.. in that case, both. lol
You’re not a player if you think rotating among different girl’s houses makes you a player when really its just cuz you ain’t got your stuff together enough to afford your own spot. That’s just latent homelessness.
@luvtheshoes,
I agree. I’m still trying to understand how some men do this. I’ve know cats that live in 2 different households. Kids and all.
@luvtheshoes,
That’s just latent homelessness.
lol, i remember one of my boys being called out on this a few years ago. we were all sitting around shooting the sh*t, and he’s talking about how he was going around from chick to chick, sleeping in different beds every night until one of us was like “naw dog. just frontin. you homeless as hell right now. you might as well be holding a cup, you f*cking vagrant”
as you can see, a few of my boys get pretty vicious with the insults, lol
@The Champ,
LOL!! Now THAT’S funny.
@luvtheshoes,
….latent homelessness.
Thank you, that’s going into the lexicon.
I’m more perplexed by the chicks that let these broke bamas crash at their place. My apartment is not Motel 6; I ain’t leaving the light on for anyone that doesn’t contribute half the rent.
@ofloveandotherdemons,
lmao!
“I’m more perplexed by the chicks that let these broke bamas crash at their place. My apartment is not Motel 6; I ain’t leaving the light on for anyone that doesn’t contribute half the rent-”
Hello. Thank you. Good Night and Good Luck
When women start using their power instead of compromisng it (yall know the type “I dont need a man but if he can”…or the really dumb one “I get lonely” ) thats when this and all that other dumb shit will stop becuase whatever PREVENTS a man from gettin ass he will put that bullsh*t out to pasture best believe that!!!
Ohhh, I had to add this, particularly for women…
If you have to ask a man to do stuff (i.e. pay your rent or mortgage, take you on trips that require a passport, dis his momma and friends for you) you probably aren’t a player. Players manage to make people want to do things for them.
Can y’all tell work is light today?! I could post on VSB.com all dayum day at this rate.
@Hostess,
“Can y’all tell work is light today?! I could post on VSB.com all dayum day at this rate.”
LMAO! I was thinking of pulling a I took my turn buying doughnuts @ work while hardly anyone is here.
@Hostess,
Very good point. True playettes usually have their choice of guys who’d trick on them. Some may have the Babyface dude (I’ll pay your rent…soon as I get home from work), the T.I. dude (Gas up the jet…you can go wherever you like), and the Captain Save ‘Em who takes care of other stuff…without asking for anything.
“We’re working on finding a way to get around this but as of now, we’ve been unsuccessful. ”
What about getting a little laptop with an 8 inch screen you can take with you to lunch (and respond) and what not..Mircocenter had one for less than 300 bucks.
@Princess Duvet aka “The Princess Has Spoken”, Have you guys tried clambrain.com?
@Princess Duvet aka “The Princess Has Spoken”,
What about getting a little laptop with an 8 inch screen you can take with you to lunch (and respond) and what not..Mircocenter had one for less than 300 bucks.
see, this is when our fans should pitch in and provide one for p. i mean, if andrew sullivan can convince his readers to give money so that he could quit his job and blog full-time, why cant we get a tiny laptop?
@The Champ,
Ask Vitamin Water.
@nia,
*giggling loudly*
@nia,
bwaaaaahhh
@nia,
LMAO!
@nia,
i’m still waiting for them to return one of liz’s calls
@The Champ,
Champ dawg,
Thought you guys owned this blog. What’s all dis talk about people gettin fired and what not? Sup wit that?
@Tx10inch,
lol…p’s referring (tongue-in-cheekly) to his real place of employment
The definition for a “player”, IMO, is different for men and women. A man is defined as a player based on the amount of women he’s “had”. A woman is a player based on the number of men that do stuff for her, WITHOUT having “had” her. If I’m having you pay my bills and send me on trips, and I haven’t even done nothin with you….I got game.
@nia,
I forgot to make my point.
So basically, if a woman is “doin” all these dudes, she’s not a player, she’s a trollop.
I know, it’s a double standard. But that’s just how I see it.
As a man with money told me he aint paying for NOTHING if she aint f*king. To this day I dont know a women yet that didnt give it up somewhere along the line-I mean after all game can only go but so far and if you think I am buggin watch Cocaine Cowboys. In it dude told his boys I am gonna make this stripper f-me they thought he was buggin-he threw a G then 2 then 4 then at $5000 she relented.
IDK I feel women can always claim to not give it up but then why should I (or any man trick ) trick-it makes no sense at all? Now older men perhaps but not todays “I seen before junior high scool” fast ass having men
If I’m having you pay my bills and send me on trips, and I haven’t even done nothin with you….I got game.
@nia,
Or your name is Anna Nicole Smith and your married to a billionare
@eff yo couch, Quietly, dude doesn’t have to be old or rich. He just has to believe that the competition for the women is so tight, he’s gotta go above and beyond the call of duty.
@Hostess,
You’re SO Detroit. LOL!!
@Monk, I am. My Gawd, I am.
@nia,
The amount of women you have doesn’t make a man a player. This is a huge misconception. I’ve met too many dudes that swear they are player because the have had a lot of women but they tricked on them or lied to get them. If you can’t be you and win. You are not a player.
@Humble_One,
If you can’t be you and win. You are not a player.
good point.
@nia,
Oooooh, poor men. So the only way they (the
men) can claim their playerhood ring is by increasing their opportunities of contracting VDs/STDs or misplacing a wee spermyicily
in some chicks uterus. While all women have to do to acheive this status is to get some guy to buy them a couple of happy meals and a one way bus ticket. Sigh, just doesn’t seem fair.
@ofloveandotherdemons,
Just keep in mind, being a player (man or woman) is NOT a good thing neccessarily.
Signs that you are not a player
1) If you chase women. (women should be chasing you)
2) If you are a pretty boy. (If you get women strictly off your face then you are not a pretty boy. You get on my default. A lot of pretty boys have no game b/c they don’t need it)
3) If you have quantity over quality.
4) If you have to lie and tell women what they want to hear.
5) If you trick. (If the only reason you have women is b/c you are cashing out calling yourself a player is blasphemous to the game)
6) If you can’t separate your heart from your d**k.
More to come later…
@Humble_One,
2) If you are a pretty boy. (If you get women strictly off your face then you are not a pretty boy. You get on my default. A lot of pretty boys have no game b/c they don’t need it)
is there a typo in there?
@The Champ,
There are mad typos in that. LOL. That came out wrong. It should say “if you get women strictly off your face then you are a pretty boy.” The other part should say “you get on by default.”
You’re not a player if you’re out on the scene, and it is easily recognizable who you’re “talking” aka sleeping with. Players are discreet. A player can be bedding a group of friends, and none of the chicks know they are all messing with the same man. He can convince you that what the two of you have going on is nobody’s business.
With that said, you’re also not a player if you don’t have any stalkers. Even though a player should have his pimp hand game on lock, a h*e is going to step outta pocket here and there. If nothing more than for a reaction.
You’re not a player if you don’t have more than 1 phone. One for the ladies – that’s the only number they get. The other for everyday life, that you don’t have to worry about answering in front of chicks. That way you can give the illusion that it’s all about her, and you have nothing to hide. This is one that you can leave on the table when you go to the restroom, and even when she looks through it (cause she will), she won’t find anything. The other you can either have in your pocket on silent, or leave it in the car and if found, act like your boy left it in there.
@V Renee,
These char
@V Renee,
These characteristics seem more inline with a dude that is a liar not a player. This is the type of dude that has to sneak b/c he is scared that if he tells the truth he will take a L. Players don’t have to play these games because they don’t care about losing a woman.
You’re not a player if you don’t have more than 1 phone. One for the ladies – that’s the only number they get. The other for everyday life, that you don’t have to worry about answering in front of chicks. That way you can give the illusion that it’s all about her, and you have nothing to hide. This is one that you can leave on the table when you go to the restroom, and even when she looks through it (cause she will), she won’t find anything. The other you can either have in your pocket on silent, or leave it in the car and if found, act like your boy left it in there.
@V Renee,
I guess this makes me a cheap player, because I used to give chicks my work number. I could barely keep my regular cell phone on with service, let alone have 2-3 different phones. Sprint was vicious on my pockets
@eff yo couch,
Sprint was vicious on my pockets
Yo, sprint is straight up gangster. I went in there to dispute my bill, and I somehow ended up with another 2year contract and a new phone. I
can’t even tell you how it happened; the interval between me walking to the service counter and leaving, new phone and extended contract in hand
is quite vague.
Plus, I have to be in very particular spots to get continuous reception. The particular spots:in the far right corner of my kitchen, in the middle of the warehouse at work (has to be the exact geographical center of the entire building, or else it’s nothing but static) and in open fields that have no trees, no building higher than a bungalow and no metal substances of any kind.
It’s true, I conducted a study.
No one I am just fucking will ever get the chance (and since my first cell in 2000 not women has dared to even ask) to look thru my phone-I brought it I pay it, not even my moms can look thru my phone. No one can wihout my saying and thats why Blackberry’s can be locked-and furthermore it says waaaaay too much about the woman that on a date you are snooping thru my jack . If she is that distrustful than never-fucking-mind shorty.
I had a chick sponsor a trip to the movies to see the 1st Nutty Professor movie, does that count?
@eff yo couch,
good question. i think there’s a by-law somewhere about pg movies, but i have to re-read the manual to be certain
“Aside: Am I the only person who thinks that Joe made some of the absolute best music of the late 90’s? “Don’t Want To Be A Player No More” and “(All The) Things Your Man Won’t Do” were some of the bestest songs ever. Fo’reel.”
Boy, NAW. I still crank (All The) Things Your Man Won’t Do in the iPod. And I regularly bust out and quote, “I’ll take you out on a night cruise…on a YACHT”. That right there is some of the best lyricism evah.
“Women who have the game down get their rent paid.”
Omg, please tell women this cross-country! I have know a lady who is ALWAYS bragging about all the men that talk to her and then in the same breath, complain how she never has any money to pay her bills. Um…what are you braggin’ about again?
“And you know you watch his show on vh1. It’s okay to admit it.”
Oh, I’m way past being ashamed that I look at crappy reality TV. Which, um, nowadays more than ever, it’s redundant to put “crappy” in front of “reality TV”. For the Love of Ray J is great watchin’.
And I regularly bust out and quote, “I’ll take you out on a night cruise…on a YACHT”. That right there is some of the best lyricism evah.
@Cheekie,
I used that same line on my girl to impress her. Lets just say she enjoyed riding fairy from Philly to Camden, New Jersey.
@eff yo couch,
“I used that same line on my girl to impress her. Lets just say she enjoyed riding fairy from Philly to Camden, New Jersey.”
lmao.whachu take her on the riverlink?
I’ll stick to Entourage at least I know its fiction
“All the things your man won’t do” = a newer “Whip Appeal”
@Jeandra,
I still rock dat “Don’t want to be a player no more”
Heavy rotation in da Pod..
@Tx10inch,
Because it still bangs. Kinda a timeless hit.
Like Hypnotize.
@Jeandra,
or the instrumental to “All About the Benjamins”.
(which I’m jamming right now…lmao)
@Jeandra,
Know what? I hated these Joe songs when they came out while others thought he was the next coming of Luther and shyt. And I must say, I STILL hate these songs.
@Monk,
tell em why you mad son.
Good post. I’m so not a player…more like a man with useless options.
Plus, I’m too secretive…not that much news travels around about me. I consider myself a CIA Operative. Dammit cmon Spring!
@CPT Callamity,
I’m so not a player…more like a man with useless options.
this is a great quote
@The Champ,
Good, I’m copyrighting it circa 2009.
I’m not the type of dude that goes hunting for warm blooded creatures in the winter so that message is the absolute truth.
“Am I the only person who thinks that Joe made some of the absolute best music of the late 90’s? “Don’t Want To Be A Player No More” and “(All The) Things Your Man Won’t Do” were some of the bestest songs ever.”
Nope –Not only is he prominently featured on the iPod playlist, but “Make love on a beach of jet-black sand” is still totally on my bucket list.
Right after “take a tour in a hot-air balloon” and before “sniff the Champ’s neckplace.”
@Nikiloveli,
Right after “take a tour in a hot-air balloon” and before “sniff the Champ’s neckplace.”
i have a neckplace? if the answer is “yes you do”, then my next question is “why is it in need of sniffing?”
@The Champ,
Neckplace: the area between a neck and shoulders where a man’s natural and enhanced scents collect and settle. So yes, you have one.
Now, whether or not it NEEDS sniffing is debatable and has no bearing on the ardor of my desire to do so.
You a playa if all of your women know about each other…..and don’t care.
Certified.
Let’s look at the differences between tha playa, tha pimp, and tha giggelo. (in my mind at least)
Unless you ACTUALLY dress like Bishop Duan Juan and have hoes on tha track, I’m speaking generally of cats who CONSIDER themselves pimps because of what the women they have do for them. People throw the word “pimp” around loosely (ya boy included) but a real pimp is distinguised from the playa because he has his women bringin him dough, buying him stuff, and payin his bills. Notice I said “women” versus “woman”. Your not a pimp if you only have one woman doing these things for you. (trust me, i’ve seen it.)
A playa is mostly in it for the sex and tha thrill of juggling different women around at once. He doesn’t chase women, they primary chase him. But most of all, it’s an ego boost for him.
Tha giggelo is in it for the sex. period. Not for tha money or tha gifts (though he will happily accept them), not really for tha thrill, just for tha kill. He has no shame in chasing multiple women, and though he may not be the most attractive man, he has tha game to get it done.
Maybe P. or Champ can expand more in another thread or give a different angle or something. Just my thoughts on what i’ve *cough* seen..
@Tx10inch,
I agree. The terms “player” and “pimp” are NOT interchangeable.
Dang you, Panama. I’ve been singing “I’m not a player, I just crush a lot” with the fake little dice noise and everything in my head all day now. Gotta go listen to my iPod to change it up.
By the way, I HATE this Afromance ad. I absof*ckinlutely hate it
The girl’s hair in that ad troubles me. It looks like it’s a really bad weave. I count at least three different hair textures and shades on her head. They should do something about that.
Plus, I’m sure the intent was to have the guy gaze adoringly/longingly at her, but he looks like he’s sleepy, constipated and mad as hell that someone dared woke him.
@ofloveandotherdemons,
“…but he looks like he’s sleepy, constipated and mad as hell that someone dared woke him”
so basically he looks exactly how i do during work?
Offtop, there are 2 players.
1) The public player – where everyone sees them out in the open. Politicians, Bar Tenders, Everynight @ the Club Guy, Preachers, CEO’s, Athletes, Musicians and Actors…. Big jobs, big titles, big lifestyle.
You can’t tell if the appeal is really the personality and what they say, or whether it’s the lifestyle or the non-player things they do that bring them fame and money.
The private player – Only God knows the true notch count.
This is the Mall UPS delivery guy that is real cool with every chick @ the food court.
The effeminate guy everyone suspects is gay
That regular guy in accounting who runs the local S&M/wife swap club.
This dude understands the feminine psychology. She may be teaching Women’s Lib during the week, but late at night she’s worshipping at the temple of testosterone.
He may not be much to look at, but he knows what to say and how to engineer opportunities for her to explore those things that truly motivate her. Afterwards she goes home to her Quarterback husband.
@WestIndianArchie,
Hilarious. As usual.
Awww, I remember when they where selling Joe’s songs at McDonalds….my momma made me go in and buy the cd, while she sat in the car.good times
anyways….I don’t understand guys (and some girls) who add a multitude of people of the opposite sex.then update their status
with one of the following
“She wants me”
“He bout to be over here”
“She all up on my *wiener*”
but in the middle of their nonsensical updates write whimsical comments on pages…such as
“You fine”.
“You gotta man”
“Where you be at”
I just can’t compute the reason why.If you where getting some would you really be on FB trying to find some????
@Rita,
Awww, I remember when they where selling Joe’s songs at McDonalds….my momma made me go in and buy the cd, while she sat in the car.good times
did this happen, like, in america?
@The Champ,
I was wondering too, cause I don’t remember this at all.
@The Champ,
this was the pop one
http://www.amazon.com/Your-1-Requests-More-NSYNC/dp/B000L6PW4W
in college I had a lecture on how theres a theory that shows as humans we have no cut off switch-in that there is nothing we want that we wouldnt take more of ESPECIALLY if the barriers of entrance or resistance have been negated or done away with. So whats the surprise ppl getting some or in reltionships lurk on FB? 20 yrs ago it was bar now its a computer screen-the more things change…
yes,
it was a compilation cd….one was r&b the other was pop.
Is Ray-J really a pimp? I mean – really?
no the man that distributes his tv show is the pimp!
hey everyone,
I just wanted to get off of creeper statu for a minute, to say how much I love this blog.Just about all the posts + comments have me in tears. Thanks for making my workday go by much faster.
@JamieJJS,
welcome!!!
*shooting gold stars*
don’t be a stranger…
hey everyone,
I just wanted to get off of creeper status for a minute, to say how much I love this blog.Just about all the posts + comments have me in tears. Thanks for making my workday go by much faster.
@WestIndian: LOL!! Hilarious…but true.
I too am befuddled at the Ray-J phenom…really? no, seriously, really?