the worst: “hey, i’m bored…do you mind if i flirt with you?”
this one completely backfired. i thought it would induce laughter, but i expected a slight “this guy is different, i wonder what he’s about” chuckle instead of the loud guffaw causing her to choke on her ice while sprinting to her girls and repeating the line, with “this n*gga” substituted for my name “listen to what this n*gga just said to me…” .
moral of the story: md 20/20 is the devil
the most intimidatingly aggressive: “i’m trying to f*ck d&g tonight”
***short backstory: i was in cincinnati with my cousin for his college graduation. we went to some super packed, super hood club, and it happened to be “no panties” night, which expectedly brought out all of the ohio river freaks (seriously. “no panties night”. read that again. every woman with no panties on got in for free. i’m not making any of this up. i love cincinnati, btw). one of the aforementioned panty-less freaks apparently noticed that i was wearing a d&g t-shirt, and approached me, grabbed my hand to put it somewhere to let me know that she, ummm, got in free that night, and said “i’m trying to f*ck d&g tonight” loud as hell. moral of the story: i should have worn a different shirt***
the best pick-up method i’ve ever used:
girl in library
studies intensely while guy
thinks about approach
while in the library one saturday afternoon, i wrote this extremely awkward haiku on an index card (with my name and number on the back), and gave it to an apathetically fine girl i saw studying with one of those intense, “if you come within 24 inches of me, i’ll bite your fingers off” faces. i walked up to her, introduced myself, gave it to her, and bounced. she called a day later, and eventually became my first (and hopefully only) ex-fiancee
i could continue, but i’m curious: vsb.com, what are the most notable “pick-up” experiences you’ve had? the best method you’ve used? the worst line you’ve heard? any and everything that sticks out in your mind favorably or regrettably in regards to approaching or being approached is fair game.
—the champ
Worst: “Hey girl… you sholl is thicker than frozen peanut butter” lol I laughed at him and got on the red line.
Best: It may sound a little creepy, but I met a guy on the red line. (I know, me and trains) We struck up a conversation and he asked where I worked. He showed up at my job, with a rose ( I worked in Macy’s–No where hide) and asked me to lunch. It was one of the best relationships I had. It sucked he was only interning here for summer.
@Vitamin Be, that WAS some spooky stuff. I don’t like when strangers just SHOW up.
Yeah, you’re extra understanding of cats just showing up.
Hell, I ain’t even told my momma where I work.
LOL… The rose was his ‘peace offering’ , it was kinda sweet and I definitely gave him, the psycho once over. You guys need to be a little more trusting.
@Vitamin Be. The rose was a distration. Why did he need a peace offering? Exactly. You are going to end up on the 6 o’clock news being so “trusting”. Watch you back. js
I feel you Elenda…you can never be too sure he could have ‘caraaazy, deraaaaanged’ lol.
@Vigtamin. … a lunatic!
I was in the Burgh walking downtown when a guy approached me and said “Hey are you registered to vote?” I responded “yes, but I don’t live here.” To which he responded so “are you moving back? I mean do you need an escort?” “Naw, I grew up here I think I know my way around…” As I began to walk away he continued to walk with me and say “cuz i might be tryin’ to show you a different kind of visual, and you know chocolate is my favorite flavor”. I laughed, walked briskly away and hopped on the first 61A going outbound.
To date the only time I’ve used a pick-up line on a guy(s) was during Freaknic ’95 …it was a numbers game challenge I played with my boyfriend at the time. Bad idea, because I won and he was pissssssssed. And another week of penis punishment was sentenced upon me. gheesh!
Any time a man actually agrees to playing a competetive game along the lines of shit like “the numbers game” with you women, respectfully decline and stroke his ego.
an argument is destined to come your way once you win. plus, it’s just not a fair game.
chicks=tits. what man is ACTUALLY gonna say no ? unless of course you look like a telephone.
yeh…now i know how guys feel when we drop a loaded question like “do i look as good as [enter model's name] in this bathing suit?”…in the future i will respectively decline to play the game.
“cuz i might be tryin’ to show you a different kind of visual”
this would be a great line to use on a blind chick
True indeed.
Worst: “Wanna F*ck?
Best: “You are absolutely beautiful” then he walked away.
@F_T_Enchantress
Someone stole my line???? My friend and I would use “Wanna Fuck” at the end of the night in college. That was our “no beating around the bush” way of getting instant ass. I still love it. Don’t let me hit the market again, it would SO be on. LOL
for real? i thought that only worked for “Rollergirl” in Boogie Nights- lol! then again i could see no hesitation on the part of the guy if a woman actually did you use that line.
Best: “You are absolutely beautiful” then he walked away.
It’s amazing how often this works. Nothing piques a chicks interest more than a man who just walks away after offering a complement. Hell, that’d be my first suggestion to any man who’s trying to meet some chick.
It’s a hell of a first impression and she’ll remember it and remember you — unless you look like a telephone.
Plus, it’s romantic on some “the notebook” type shit and chicks not only love the smiley face, they love “the notebook”. Gives them the idea that true love might be on the horizon. It makes hittin’ the skinz easier.
“Best: “You are absolutely beautiful” then he walked away.
It’s amazing how often this works. Nothing piques a chicks interest more than a man who just walks away after offering a complement. Hell, that’d be my first suggestion to any man who’s trying to meet some chick.”
yeah, the “bait and bounce” is always a good move, but you hafta be sure that you’ll actually see that chick again
Yea I never saw him again. Then again I didn’t really care.
Hey, you aren’t in Alabama, are you?
I saw a beautiful man walking at Jazzmobile, circa 1990, NYC. Jazzmobile is a summer outdoor jazz, food and vendor-fest. My friends and I would go up there afterwork dressed to the nine’s but looking like we put no effort into it STRICTLY to pick up guys. So I saw this guy and walked over to him and said ” Excuse me, I don’t mean to interrupt, but I had to tell you that you are beautiful and great for breeding, I might add!” we laughed and I walked away. 15 minutes later he came over to me,sans friends, introduced himself and we were together for the next 3 years!
I think the bait and bounce is rather lame. Just don’t say anything, keep it moving. Telling me I am beautiful will leave me thinking, “okay, and???” Not to be stank, but that’s really what would cross my mind.
“I think the bait and bounce is rather lame. ”
this makes me sad
@Liz. The bait and bounce wouldn’t work with me either. I’d think the guy who walked off was not interested or lame.
Or gay.
Nah, I like anyone who gives me a compliment and doesn’t expect anything more. I guess I get caught but its a nice way to get caught. I would be nicer to you but I would think you weren’t interested. Saying you’re beautiful and then walking aways is like saying I like your shoes, or I like your hair and then walking away. I just assume you like whatever I was doing that day, but not enough to holla. You’d make me feel good that day, and I’d like you better but I’d think of you like a chic who says the same thing.
I concur! Rum Punch thinks back to a guy who said it her, “you’re really beautiful.I just wanted to tell you that.” And walked away. I was like “um thanks.” And kept on drinking my rum and coke. I mean it was intriguing, but I was too lazy to meet him halfway…I mean what am I supposed to do with that line?
This happens to me a lot. Why do men feel the need to tell me I am beautiful and leave? Why? I need answers. Granted, if I were THAT interested in more, I’d stop the guy (maybe…). But I am confused as to why men do this.
“Your titties will make fantastic pillows tonight.”
“Wassup T&A can I holla?”
Neither one of those guys received by number.
Now there have been some corny pick up lines that I thought were kinda cute like…
“Wow your smile made my day”
“If you were a new sandwich at Mcdonalds, you’de be called McGorgeous” (Yep someone actually said this to me)
If I followed you home, would you keep me? LOL
“Your titties will make fantastic pillows tonight.”
I actually really like that line. It’s the ultimate,’ I have nothing to lose, let’s see where this goes’ line.
“If you were a new sandwich at Mcdonalds, you’de be called McGorgeous” (Yep someone actually said this to me)”
did he say this with a straight face?
“If you were a new sandwich at Mcdonalds, you’de be called McGorgeous” (Yep someone actually said this to me)”
Ok, I just read this line and it made me smile. It’s cute.
one more…@ the AUC circa 96, I was approached by a man who claimed to be an alien. yes, an alien folks. He said he was from the planet sun ra and offered to buy me some Popeye’s chicken…to wish i replied ‘yes’. (look- I was 5’3″ and 100 lbs and had a diet that consisted mainly of stolen food from the Morehouse cafeteria and ramen noodes, don’t ask) Halfway through my 2nd chicken leg he said “If you let me enter your vessel, I’ll take you back to my planet”…I eventually made it back home safe & sound, tummy full, with my vessel UNchartered.
@Miss Patterson. An alien? See I probably would have fell for the dumb sh*t because I would have asked what planet!!!! Man, some guys are just creative.
So let me get this right…
If a man tells you he’s an alien…you just might sleep with him?
@panama… js… I might want to know what an alien’s PENTIS looks like.
You are on here showing out…back to your corner please!
i’m mad the alien came that far just for some popeyes. if i were from a different planet, waffle house would probably be the first place i’d eat.
then the zoo
you and this damn zoo…ur just strange i tell ya.
Miss Patterson stop playin’!!!! I got the same line except he offered a date that consisted of ‘ride and smoke’ (ridin’ marta at that). At least you got some chicken, dang. I didn’t fall for the going to his planet thing though. This has to be the same brother. Did he wear alot of brass and carried a cane?
@ Nut. “Did he wear alot of brass and carried a cane?” Are you for real?
Not jokin at all @ Elenda. It wasn’t brass my bad it was copper. But yes, I can’t remember the dude’s name but he would tell you he was an alien. He wore alot of copper jewelry and pieces of copper in his hair and carried a stick with copper on it. He was a good lookin black man but crazy as all get out. Dr York. He had black people doin some crazy stuff. At one point they were wearing cowboy boots and hats. All true, ya can’t make something this good up.
@Nut. LMAO.
this might just me the same ‘alien’.
I think so @Miss Patterson; I think it was the same alien. He was soo good looking; beautiful eyes. I’m almost embarrassed to say that I talked to him for hours and I gave him my number. He never got the goods but he tried. Oh boy did he try. I met his girlfriend/wife a couple of months later. She was so pretty and nice. She said she thought that he was crazy too.
I’m getting tired of hearing “oh. . . you’re so young”.
Of course, the irony is that when i’m no longer “young”, if I happen to be in the same place, the ones I’ll be hitting on will be saying “oh . . . you’re so old”.
“I’m getting tired of hearing “oh. . . you’re so young”.”
exactly why i told you to leave the bingo games alone
Worst: Do fries come with that shake?
You must be tired because you’ve been running through my mind all night.
Can I get close to those double delights? (well that guy actually ended up getting my number and we were together for about 2 years).
Favorite or most memorable experience: My ex-fiance simply asked me for a dance on New Year’s Eve which was the night we first met. We danced into the new year.
“Favorite or most memorable experience: My ex-fiance simply asked me for a dance on New Year’s Eve which was the night we first met. We danced into the new year.”
Chicks like romance.
@panama— correction: Chicks LOVE romance.
The dance thing is romantic but only if he’s fine and it’s slow music. I don’t know why this is but seems like most guys that are aggressively seeking to dance to fast songs look like horny tarantulas.
@Patterson. You know they want to just stand there and watch you vibrate. They are not going to pick a slow song. (smh)
So true @ Elenda ya know brothas like to see the goodies shake. But vibrate? damn sistah what do you have in your pockets?
@Nut. Please stop showing out. You know club pants and dress do NOT have pockets. I’m talking about your body vibrating. LOL. You are too funny.
by far the worst that ive heard was….so do you have a myspace page?
me and my boys were at h20 in dc and one of them said this to a jawn in earshot of me. i will clown him for this shit for the rest of his life.
“by far the worst that ive heard was….so do you have a myspace page?”
i guess thats better than, “do you have any vids on rude.com?”
I suppose this is better than just asking for my e-mail address?
@malael. I ask people all the time if they have a myspace. HA HA HA
lol….yeah but im sure that its not used as a conversation starter.
@malael. True, true, true!
Ok, so the worst is officially: “Excuse me for staring but I was trying to figure out if you taste like sugar, smell like water.” LOL…damn Plies, niggas down south I tell ya.
The most recent: while in the grocery store I was stopped and asked a favor, which I thought he was going to ask me to help him buy his groceries and I was not in the mood. Instead he said, “Excuse miss but could you do me a favor, when you go home tonight tell your man just how lucky I think he is. I know he smiles every morning just knowing that he has you in his life.” My response: you’d be surprised…thanked him and walked away
The best of all time: “Hey miss lady, it would be my honor for you to follow me over to the gas station and let me fill up your tank.” And I was a step away from E…I did and he did, and he used PREMIUM(ol showboating ass, lol)…our courtship is currently going well…he’s a man’s man, and that’s not easy to come by these days.
‘He’s a man’s man’
I so love these. Keep your pretty boys. Give me a man’s man who loves to read anyday.
“Keep your pretty boys. Give me a man’s man who loves to read anyday.”
This is actually something I plan on writing about…the pretty boy phenomenon, though I’m gonna add a twist. Much like adding a lime to a coconut.
Yeah they’ve been played out since college circa de 1997′…I like em big, black and durty…lol…naw I’m lying but pretty is overplayed and overrated.
@Suga&Spice. FOH pretty boys NEVER go out of style. You people kill me! Pretty boys, light skin and skinny girls are never going out of style. SMH at the fact that ya’ll are in denial.
I wonder if you fall under one of those categories…..hmmm…trying to keep your stock from dropping I see…lol.
@Teacia. Chile Bye! You know my stock is not dropping anytime soon. I ain’t in none of those categories! (tongue sticking out) I see what you are implying though, but I am LIGHT BROWN heffa!
Yes ma’am!!!! A man’s man!!!! @Teacia. That is what get’s me everytime.
The best line. Came to my job 10 min before it was time for me to go home…..”I knew there was a beautiful woman in need of an escort home so I just wanted to volunteer.” And it came with dinner no pressure. Beautiful. We’re married needless to say.
The worst was the ride and smoke invite. “I wanna go out but I don’t have no money. We can ride and smoke though.”
“And it came with dinner no pressure. Beautiful. We’re married needless to say.” —That just made me weep, how beautiful is that? Congrats.
”I knew there was a beautiful woman in need of an escort home so I just wanted to volunteer.” **applying tissue to eyes… that is just beautiful.
DAMN! He bought you gas? and premium at that, thats akin to a diamond ring these days. He’s a keeper! LOL
That is true…you better marry his ass.
Lol…sorry I can’t, he’s already married…separated but married nonetheless. I know, I know…long story…I’m still waiting for that ink to dry.
I know right, and I don’t even put premium in my own shit!
Grocery store dude sounds real corny. I mean I suppose it was a nice gesture, but those types of lines are getting played out. Maybe I am just a cynic though lol.
Everything about him was corny, but it was a sweet gesture and I took it to heart.
“I am just a cynic though lol.”
…..
The simple approach usually works for me:
Make eye-contact, give pleasant (non-spooky) smile,approach, and introduce myself. After a little small talk, I’ll throw a non-physical comment in (ex. “Seems like you got a good head on your shoulders” or compliment her fashion sense) and politely ask to use her phone. I’ll lock my number in and tell her to give me a call. Simple.
One of my homeboys who’s a little overweight used to always say in a smooth voice, “You like fatboys?” 9 times out of 10, the girl would alsways giggle, look at him, and say, “You’re not fat.” It was amazing how much this would work for him.
I like chunky dudes. This would have worked on me.
Same here. I smiled when reading that line – can you tell I’m in the middle of a drought?
I feel your pain.
@miss t-lee. I hope to never understand or feel the pain of a drought.
It’s truly self-imposed. Which is making it much worse.
You know, the whole “looks like you’ve got a good head on your shoulders” can TOTALLY backfire too.
Though it helps if you don’t grab your shit while you say it.
I was thinking the same damn thing…that’s a risky one right thur.
I use the “You like fatboys?” line all the time! And I get the same response. I love it!
“I agree. I love think men. It is something about a man that carries his weight well.
I think every woman loves a teddy bear! We give the best hugs, keep you warm at night, and protect you. You never seen a woman with a big dude looking nervous. Also, women with big guys are less likely to cheat. When guys try to get their number, they find it amusing and think to themselves what their bear at home could do to the fool that is in her face.
Sho’ you right.
I miss my teddy bear.
@big buck. I totally agree. Big men = warrior and protection.
I’m not even sure i’d let some dude use my phone. One I was out with recently wanted to take notes on my phone and I hesitated big time LOL. Then again, I have attachment issues with it comes to my electronics.
“I’m not even sure i’d let some dude use my phone”
i let a woman use my phone once, and when she returned it, it was covered in sweated off mascera. this wasnt a good day
that’s nasty.
“I have attachment issues with (when) it comes to my electronics” another tshirt (double entendre written all over it)
No one touches my electronics but me.
@Liz. I am with you. I wish someone would ask to see my phone **rolling my eyes hard**
It’s all in how you propose the question.
No, seriously, nobody gets to use my phone. Not even my homies. Get your own fool!
“You like fatboys?” <— this made me laugh out loud. It’s cute, but it makes me think of the actual Fatboys, complete with big bellies hanging out of tshirts…yucky.
“Excuse me, Miss, Can I buy you a drink?” (classic and always works if he is decent looking)
“Hey Pretty Lady, Can I call you sometime” (another classic line that works)
“Dayum, shawty, you look like you can kick the dog shit out of someone wit dem big ‘ole legs… shidddd, I’d like to get between them tho’” (ninja please)
“I hope you f*ck like you dance” (that dude was ballsy and assumptive)
“You know you want me” (we were together for 3 years; whew, I love me some confidence)
“You know you want me”
I know somebody who used to use this all the time. It works.
I gotta try that one.
Trust me it works…if nothing else he gets the digit to see what all the hype is about.
Yeah I can see that line making a woman smile…and breaking the ice.
“I hope you f*ck like you dance”
Ha ha ha…and seeing as how I know how you dance…yeah that was bold.
@Teacia. Yeah, that was back in the day before I starting owning the two step. He made that comment right after “round and round we go, round and round we go… Let me see you scrub the ground” went off. And you know, that my JAM!!!!
LMAO…that I do…I can see you now at the musical Moon shutting down the dance floor.
“You know you want me” made me crinkle up my nose in disdain. Sounds like some Zoolander stuff. Different strokes for different folks, I suppose…
@ Precious: Man, that line has be before “hello” seriously
I’ve said all kinds of outlandish shit. i guess because of my demeanor it works more often than it should
“you have a beautiful ass. May I touch it?” That has only worked at homecoming and football games
one time in high school this girl was talking to me while I was sitting in the driver’s seat of my dad’s old car. I had a beeline at the great valley (down her shirt at the part in her D cups). While she was in midsentence I licked in between them. Before that I hadn’t flirted with her at all. She showed her appreciation of my boldness in various ways afterward.
“I would like to stick my penis in your vagina” I think this only worked cause I knew that girl liked South Park.
Yes…you just might be the most confident dude on the face of the planet.
I know a dude who got slapped by a chick b/c he hugged her so he could get a touch of them tig ole bitties.
And here you are lickin’ cleavage.
I salute you.
yes. that was a great moment in pickup history. we should all raise our glasses to you
everyone should raise their glasses to my greatness
*raising glass*
be warned- I’ve only tried that with girls I was already cool with. Of course I never know how they will react to it but I know they won’t hit me. Honestly I’ve never gotten a negative reaction from doing that. Mostly that look of “WTF” but none have ever stopped me. Feel free to try that move out. My gift to you all.
@Deviant. I think I would have punched you in the face at both of those comments. WOW! It actually worked for you. I bet those chicks don’t celebrate Fathers Day. They clearly did not have male role models growing up.
naw they just get me and my sense of humor. I dont waste time coming up with lame ass poetry or some cutesy shit I say what I’m thinking. Honesty upfront saves me from future headaches. All three had present and accounted for daddies. Two of those girls father’s I’ve met. One I had drinks with.
“I bet those chicks don’t celebrate Fathers Day”
this made me choke on my general tso chicken and gatorade
@Champ. Stop showing out please. You know you did not choke on no chicken!
What @Elenda? Did you tell Champ no chokin the chicken? Now that’s just not fair!!!
@Nut. Now that you put it like that. I guess that is an unfair request.
Here’s a phenomenon I know a lot of females have experienced, but I was on the receiving end one day. A chick actually hit me with the “I usually don’t talk to light-skinned guys but you’re cute” line. My reply? “I usually don’t talk to ghetto girls.” She had the nerve to be offended and got an attitude – rolling her eyes and neck, talking about she’s not ghetto. I looked at her actions and said, “I rest my case.”
I’ve had variations to that approach but instead of skin color it was in response to the dredlocs I had at the time. “i ain’t never hollered @ no girl with locs before but yours are pretty.” it’s an obvious back-handed compliment in my opinion.
@Monk. Definitely a backhand compliment and I would instantly be turned off.
I hate it when people say that! First of all it’s a got damn lie! Am I supposed to believe that you really never mess with light skinned guys but I just happen to be soooo fine that you cast your preference aside? And second, Light skin was never out of style! Yeah I said it! Let me drop some knowledge on y’all right quick. We light skinned people started that “out of style” rumor ourselves! It’s like hiding in plain sight. Dark dudes get to feel more secure with their woman because 50% of American black men are immediately labeled a non-threat due to being light skinned, and she don’t do light skin right? WRONG! Look a little deeper and you will notice that she has a crush on Chris Brown and Terrence Howard. Look deeper still and you might just find that light skinned dude she has been creeping with! The best part of this diabolical scheme (Created by Smokey Robinson and Harry Belafonte) is that it is irreversible. The “out of style” stigma is so rooted in black society that light skinned people will actually have an advantage for decades to come!…….anyway that’s what I believe….shut up!
@Big Buck. I can not longer fight it, I love you! Sorry, I try to explain this shit to my darker friends regularly!
“It’s like hiding in plain sight. “— Classic
I love you too sweetheart! I love all the people, because as you know, I do it for them! LOL!
@ BigBuck. (**covering my smile**)
I can’t stop laughing @BigBuck.
The best part of this diabolical scheme (Created by Smokey Robinson and Harry Belafonte) is that it is irreversible. The “out of style” stigma is so rooted in black society that light skinned people will actually have an advantage for decades to come!
That is so funny. Why Smokey man? I can’t stop laughing because it is so true. I don’t mind (being the coco sistah I am) light skin people being the craze. I like all shades myself. But don’t forget where you get all your admiration from brotha!! Don’t bite that hand that feeds you rather your ego. Didn’t yo mama teach you that?
*salute to Big Buck*
This year, Texas Relays.
This kat had been eyeing me from across the party. We did that whole smile, look away thing for about 20 minutes. Good lookin’ dude, clean cut, nice smile. Body for days…lol
Dude finally comes up to me and says, “so…are we f*ckin’ tonight or what?”
so whats the problem? Did the line work?
Of course it didn’t work.
C’mon dawg…lol.
Don’t add that one to your repertoire.
I can’t use that? damn
You can use it. Let me know if some chick actually goes for that ish.
it’ll work
With your confidence, you might be able to pull it off.
I think I’ll rub my belly as I do it for extra effect.
You sure it didn’t work? Like, did it just not work that night but he got your number since you thought he was hot and you fucked the next night or some shit??
thats what I was thinking
Boo and boo both of ya’ll. That ish did not work.
I know ya’ll don’t know about the Relays, but it’s pretty much a “hit and quit”– guys are only in town for one day/night, and they are trying to hit anything not nailed down.
The drought goggles didn’t even work. Now he was hot, but I’m sorry, I don’t get down like that.
“I think I’ll rub my belly as I do it for extra effect.”
This is a sure way to seal the deal. But you have to rub your belly underneath the shirt to get the full power. And suck your teeth after you say it like you just ate some ribs and forgot to take your grill out.
just stop it cause the visual is unattractive and that is so not sexy!!! stop it the only thing you needed to add to that to make it worse was a toothpick in your mouth stop it!
“And suck your teeth after you say it like you just ate some ribs and forgot to take your grill out.”
I just got a visual I truly did not want.
i was gonna lift my shirt like Bizarre from D-12 to give em a full view
or Rick Ross huh?
@Miss T-Lee. Now that is what I am talking about. My thong would have been soaked instantly. Whew, if a crush talks dirty and direct to me, he can get it all night long! Too bad it didn’t work for you…
This would have worked if it wasn’t just some random azz kat.
Maybe someone I was already interested in, or a crush. It woulda been on like neckbones…trust and believe.
@T-Lee. Gotcha. I was thinking you see this dude a lot and it was an actual crush. This was just a dude that caught your eye at an event. I have clarity now. Thx
Here’s a list of lines that stick out in my mind.
1.”You make me wish I were a newborn.”
2.”If I were a baller I’d buy you a drink.” (While he’s sipping on his own)
3.”Wow! You look really clean.”
4.”If I could take a little from what you got up front and put it in back, I’d marry you.” (I’m blessed in more areas than others)
5.”I like your lips. Can you blow on my drink?” (This actually worked. I blew on his drink and I STILL like him right now)
6.”Damn! You’re cute for a dark-skinned girl.” (Why????)
7.”I’m sorry if I keep staring, but you pronounce every word and I’ve never heard a black girl do that except on TV.”
6.”Damn! You’re cute for a dark-skinned girl.” (Why????)
This is right up here with the one I get all the time.
You’re fine for a big girl.
Big girls are the finest ones! Don’t let them skinny bitches fool you!
I’ve never been fooled.
CoSign!
5.”I like your lips. Can you blow on my drink?” (This actually worked. I blew on his drink and I STILL like him right now)
Why did this work? I’m curious.
I should have noted that I knew who he was and had a mild crush on him. He’s a funny guy. I’m sucker for funny guys.
@2Degreez. Number 7 had me rolling. I remember this guy staring at my friend and I in a bar and asked us if we were from Europe. We were like no, why do you ask? He said: No offense but the both of you talk really, really well. WTF? How were we supposed to talk? Chile Bye!
#7
I get that alot. Especially when I go out of town, the proper talk and the TX accent throws people for a loop e’retime.
Don’t let the proper talk fool ya…LOL!!!!
3.”Wow! You look really clean.”
This made me spit out my juice. I have actually had men tell me this before, more times than I can count. I’m like wow, what are you used to sir? lol I usually got that comment when people actually found out that I was born and raised in Washington, DC. Strange, but true.
Ok, now let’s be fair. There are lots of “unclean” looking women in D.C.
Yeah I agree.
Dirty heffas is an epidemic.
Evidently, clean and from DC is a win-win? I don’t have any friends here that look unclean and most of them are from DC. I guess us clean girls ran in the same circle. lol
Well let me know when you and your clean friends are going out so I can see this phenomenon in action! LOL! Sadly I think we get more dirty heffas than clean ones at Zanzibar.
Old dirty heffas at that…
lmao….hell to the naw, yall are fools!
I’m mean really, what are you supposed to running around looking like pigpen?!
Some chicks just look like they got nasty snatch. And I work at a nightclub. I see nasty lookin’ heffas all the time.
Wow.
“Some chicks just look like they got nasty snatch.”
*sunday school*
Please explain this look. I’m curious as to how you guys figure this out.
(laughing)
@miss t-lee: It’s something in the walk. Just got a nasty twitch to it or something. Steps don’t quite happen like they should.
I think the left foot is the indicator. If the left foot has ANY kind of non-normal action…nasty snatch.
I think I’m understand now.
*bible study*
“nasty snatch” that sounds hairy (smh)
Seriously! “You look clean” sounds like something you say to a person who used to be addicted to drugs.
I was thinking the same thing.
“Seriously! “You look clean” sounds like something you say to a person who used to be addicted to drugs.”
or something you say to someone you meet at a support group for people living with Herpes or HIV
“Seriously! “You look clean” sounds like something you say to a person who used to be addicted to drugs.”
yeah. apparently she was approached by bubbles
You look clean? Now that there would have me checking that dudes ears and belly button. Who says that? I mean really? How exactly do you look dirty?
Okay, I was hoping someone else would ask, but why would someone as you to blow in their drink? Where are ya’ll from?
6.”Damn! You’re cute for a dark-skinned girl.” (Why????)
This is right up here with the one I get all the time.
You’re fine for a big girl.
Uh thanks mf’er. Get away from me.
EXACTLY!!! Like that’s a damn compliment or something? I told him he was cute for a chimp.
” cute for a chimp”
Love it mayne!
“I told him he was cute for a chimp.” GOOD FOR YOU! what an a$$hole!
@T-Lee: “Uh thanks mf’er. Get away from me” I LOVE IT! I need to see that on a t-shirt too
I gotta bad mouth. I’m trying to work on it.
Why don’t you let me work on it instead?! LOL! Just playing! I thought I would throw in a corny smart ass line to go with the theme du jour.
Nah…I just start in with the emasculation. You know my steez…lol
I’ve gotten this ‘compliment’ a number of time and I am a sarcastic ass sometims so I find a way to get them back. A dude gave me this kind of compliment before and followed it up with ‘oh but no offense.’ I told him ‘ Awwww, dont worry about it, Your short. I dont do short men. So sweetie, you were never an option for me anyway.’
That little leprachaun was so heated with me.
@Sugar&Spice. You know short men hate to be reminded of the fact that they are short, but you did get him back.
I’m still waiting on someone to hit me with some math. If any of you see me out this weekend, roll up on my and explain some math shyt to me. I’ll be impressed.
I’ll make sure my cousin is out and about in DC this weekend with his protractor and scientific calculator.
Don’t forget the abacus.
My guess is that chicks love the abacus.
…just thinking about all those sliding scales are turning me on ryt nyh!
The worst: Can you help me with my zipper!!!
The best: What do you think about this tie ?? (at Nordstroms in the men’s dept)
I like men who are slightly elusive and shy (maybe THAT’s the problem). I run the other way with very aggressive men..
I think that is my problem come to think of it…if I like alpha males, why am I still attracted to gamma dudes. another blog for another day I guess.
Oh man I love ties…especially helping men pick them out…yep, that definitely would have held my attention.
Some women pick shitty ties. Just felt like sharing that. All y’all…don’t have fashion sense which is like the WORST curse to give a woman.
ok …thanks for that Panama I’d personally like to know if you and the Champ have found any “good” lines your audience posted…none of the ones we throwing out seem to be any good.
Other than Champ writing his poem in the dewy decimal system.
Actually, there are a lot of good lines in here…if I wasn’t already taken, I might conduct a personal experience at the club and just start throwing out lines. See which ones stuck.
Ok Panama I’m taken and I took the ‘if you were a sandwich @ Micky Dees you would be the McSexy’ out for a spin and I got three free drinks last nite
@comeback girl: We are totally opposite. I like love aggressive and arrogant men. I mean, I can’t get enough of them. The ones that are the biggest a’holes are the ones I love
@comeback girl. “Can you help me with my zipper” was pretty good. You could have gotten away with the d* test right there on the spot. I wish a dude would ask me that question.
I stepped to a “nice” young’n up in the club some dude was hollerin at. I stepped in, said excuse me, and told her, in her ear, “when you get done with this dude, I’ll have that orgasm waiting.”
It was on!!
LOL…ok so quietly I would have exchanged numbers with you off of that one…FREAK!!
I do what I can, ya’heard!!
Did you just say ya’heard….oooooh another freaking turn on…you are all over it today!
thats a good line right there
See…you might have gotten me offa sheer curiosity. ::giggle::
@AO. Boi Stawp! I would have laughed so hard at you and ignored you.
Some of the best lines I used: Walk up to a man and remove/pretend to remove some lint or something from his head. He will be starteled at frist but I just say: You have something in your head and I have to see attractive men with lint in their hair. It takes away from thier appearance. Smile, rub the back of his head and walk away. 9 times out of 10 he will follow.
I am the chick who goes off by herself when she is out with friends. So when they catch up with me I usually introduce the guy I am talking to by saying ‘Hey Ladies, This is ____________. My Future Ex-Boyfriend’ This always sparks a conversation.
Best One Used on me-I was in some club and this dude was trying to talk to me all night and I kept blowing him off. I just wanted to be with the girls. Well after the spot let out. I was running my mouth outside the spot, checking out the dudes. This dude walks through my circle of friends, walks right up to me, puts his hands on my waist and say’s in the sexiest voice ‘ok now that is all out of the way, you need take a few minutes and talk to me becuase something about you is captivating.’ I couldnt respond. He whispered, ‘you said you need to eat so lets figure it out. ‘ Dude turned to my girls and was like ‘Excuse me ladies, but I have find out your girls name and her fav breakfast food’. we will be right back’ and pulled me away from our lil circle
That was the beginning of a great two years
Worst Line-Damn shawty. What size titties them is?
“Damn shawty. What size titties them is?”
i think i’m gonna table this for later use. question: do you think it would work with a pittsburgh accent, or would i hafta be a southerner?
Do NOT use this line Champ, please. I may lose all respect I have for you now.
neither a pgh or a southern accent…try a brooklyn accent and report back. then we can all laugh at you and your new black eye.
@suga&spice. I still haven’t figured out why guys wanna know what size bra I wear. I mean, are you going to by me some dayum lingerie or something? FOH
That is true. Though its probably largely for self-education. Think about it. Going further he can walk up to another chick and be like, “hey ma, i’m trynna place those 36-C’s right here…one on each eye…” Makes for a more personal introduction.
@Panny? LOL Sorry, I couldn’t resist.
So what happens if you get the size wrong on the next chick?
“Some of the best lines I used: Walk up to a man and remove/pretend to remove some lint or something from his head. He will be starteled at frist but I just say: You have something in your head and I have to see attractive men with lint in their hair. It takes away from thier appearance. Smile, rub the back of his head and walk away. 9 times out of 10 he will follow.”
You ain’t even gotta work that hard. Just rub the back of the head and I will be on it. Unless you look like knuckles.
yeah but giving a reason for touching him prevents me from looking like some random skank just gropping dudes in Fox Sports Grill. Plus it gives him the impression I have had my eye on him and was taken by him that I even noticed the little piece of lent in his head.
I get your point, I am just saying I am much simpler to get the same reaction from.
“Walk up to a man and remove/pretend to remove some lint or something from his head. He will be starteled at frist but I just say: You have something in your head and I have to see attractive men with lint in their hair. It takes away from thier appearance. Smile, rub the back of his head and walk away.”
This has actually worked on me before. Good move.
1. “my parents aint home tonight shawty, let me make u breakfast!”
(blowing referee whistle) flag on the muhfuggin play! strike 1 – ugly…strike three hundred sixty seven and a half – this ni99a was THIRTY ONE! as if that wasnt enough to satisfy ur BULLSH*T feeding for the day…stir in a pound of house arrest…2 cups of unemployment…6 tablespoons of babymama drama…and a pinch of car-less-ness and bake at a hundred and hell nah degrees, let cool…spread on the gang affiliated frosting and sprinkle with just a dash of drug problem for garnish! VOILA… I call this dish… KILL YO’SELF SURPRISE! (and scene)
good lawd
Hmm…you seem to know a lot about him. Either he was your sister’s boyfriend OR he got your number.
Fess up.
ok. seriously, someone needs to fess up. who let her out the corner, because who ever did is getting banished to the corner themselves.
@Goodness. At can’t even read your comments at work. You are going to get me fired for LOL in my damn cube with tears running down my face. You got my scary white co-workers nervous asking “Elenda, is everything okay?” LMFAO. You are officially a fool and I see why you stay in that damn corner! WOOOOWWWW (Flav-flav)
“Would you like to hold/see/suck my balls?”
I used this one in college and every so often now if I feel I can get away with it
“let me blow you a shotgun”
I do bad things after this is approved.
most times I’ll start up an regular conversation about whatever then out of the blue I’ll say something like “I’ll bet your tiddes are pretty. Let me suck them.” the left field approach is what gets me in the door.
You sound like the guy I always walk away from at the club. lol
@the Queen. I know right. I swear I would tell him to kick rocks or advise him to go play in traffic.
“Would you like to hold my balls?”
*tabling for later use*
Yeah, I actually like that one. It’s funny.
For instance, think of “the whisper song”
“wait til you see my dick…”
Now imagine them saying,”wait til you see my balls”
Totally different song and it would have been way funnier instead of the starkly well done social commentary on club etiquette.
Ying Yang Twins 4 Lyfe.
I’m doin that this weekend.
“wait’ll you see my balls….”
brilliant
I like the remix…with Free.
I’m not a clubber so you don’t have to worry about me askin you that stuff in the club. I say things like that to weed out those that I don’t want to deal with cause they won’t get my sense of humor. At some point they will probly irritate me and I’m to old to deal with stress.
Great plan Deviant…weed out the riffraff.
Actually, I would love to be around when you say these lines to people. Do you usually have a straight face or do you laugh right away?
straight face at all times. thats what makes it funny
@ Deviant.
You are a bad boy. I can tell from these lines…whoo!!!
I’m no bad boy. I actually have no game whatsoever so I don’t even waste time trying to come up with clever lines I just say what pops in my head when I see you that I think i can get away with.
I’ma let you make it.
O i’ll make it
You mess with the bull, you’ll get the horns.
My worst: Two women dancing together…”Do you need some meat for that sandwich?”
My best: “You have a beautiful smile. I’ll pay to see that again.” She smiles. “Wow, you gave it to me for free. Now, let’s see if we can keep you smiling.”
“My best: “You have a beautiful smile. I’ll pay to see that again.” She smiles. “Wow, you gave it to me for free. Now, let’s see if we can keep you smiling.””
good one.
@Krush. That’s cute.
” i was in cincinnati with my cousin for his college graduation. we went to some super packed, super hood club, and it happened to be “no panties” night, which expectedly brought out all of the ohio river freaks”
I just had to comment on this. I’m from Cincinnati (unfortunately) and need to know which club you were at – Annies or the Ritzs? We call chicks like the one you encountered River Rats. Did she have a quick weave and gold teeth? And sneakers on in the club?
the ritzs. and yeah, she had a couple gold teethuses.
i went to annies as well on the same weekend. i have another cousin who’s a cop in cincy, and when i told him about the clubs i went to, he told me he should “arrest my ass just on general principle.”
“those shoes would look great with me in between them/under my bed/over my shoulder” Its always the damn candy apple patent leather red 4.25 inch stilettos. I love those shoes but they are a magnet to comments like that.
from my girl CJ
guy: we have something in common
girl: really? you have a boyfriend too
“Yo ma, I’m a corrections officer and I have benefits!”. WTF?!
ROFL. I gotta use this one. You know, once I get a boyfriend lolol…..
she didnt have no damn boyfriend. LOL
LOL @ “Yo ma, I’m a corrections officer and I have benefits!”. WTF?!
Are you in NYC?
I’ve heard those lines before. “I’m a ___________.”
I’m usually like ……. AND?
that was from my girl and yes she is in NYC! LOL
There are dudes in NYC that think cause they have a government job or a transit job with benefits that this fact makes them “The Man”.
Kats in TX think this way too. Trust and believe.
Like I’m supposed to be impressed. Jack, I work too.
GTFOH.
Bad “memorable” pickup lines I’ve heard…
1. Clearly, any variation about my “baby hair” ensuring that I will be good in bed.
2. I’d leave my wife for you. (This one is quite common)
3. You can be my main girl…at work. (Ridiculous)
4. I’ve only know you for 5 minutes but I think I want you to have all my babies. (Word?)
5. Hey, my name is Jimmy. (As he said his name, he smiled and pointed to his teeth. Jimmy was carved in his gold fronts. Gotta love Dallas and Big-T’s Plaza.)
6. A dude limps all the way across a restaurant. When he gets to my table he sits down and says I just need to rest my leg. Then he tries to holla. Mind you, I’ve seen this dude walking normally and mingling all night long. After I tell him I’m not interested, he stands up and walks away with no limp.
2. I’d leave my wife for you. (This one is quite common)
I got this one about 3 weeks ago.
I was like…uh I’m not a homewrecker, peace out kneegrow.
Shout outs to Big T’s…
You know incidentally, I broke up an engagement when I was 18. Though in my defense I didn’t know she was engaged. She just told me one day that she cut things off with her fianceé b/c of me…
At 18, I was quite proud of this.
Fisher Price
My 1st Homewrecking
Came with a utility belt and everything…
Oh I have gotten this one from The Wife!
My husband has been checking you out all night. He thinks you are beautiful and it is his birthday would you mind if we bought you a drink.
I dont have to tell you some of the propositions that followed after.
I can only imagine.
6. A dude limps all the way across a restaurant. When he gets to my table he sits down and says I just need to rest my leg. Then he tries to holla. Mind you, I’ve seen this dude walking normally and mingling all night long. After I tell him I’m not interested, he stands up and walks away with no limp.
this move is called the “keyser sose”
The most dangerous pick-up:
A dude rolls up to me in a pimped out ride, rolls down the window and says., “You gotta let me call you sometime.” And this fool has a sawed off shotgun in his lap. I had a long talk with him about the dilemma he put me in. lol He actually apologized for the unwanted pressure. Shout out to ATL and my gift of gab.
“A dude rolls up to me in a pimped out ride, rolls down the window and says., “You gotta let me call you sometime.” And this fool has a sawed off shotgun in his lap. I had a long talk with him about the dilemma he put me in”
was his name “chris partow”?
bad
can i bite ur ass?
good
*on learning my ethnic origins* thats a beautiful mix
best?
it would have to be my own… just get within close range, and ask if i can sit on them. then discuss details. works every time.
not much of a hit, but at least i shared.
“bad
can i bite ur ass?”
As bad as it may be, this has actually worked for me, but of course it had to be the right atmosphere and timing. Which is really the key to most lines.
“As bad as it may be, this has actually worked for me, but of course it had to be the right atmosphere and timing. Which is really the key to most lines.”
I think thats the main lesson to take away here…ANY line can work at the right time and given the right circumstance.
You can walk up to a chick and say “i’d like to put my dick in your ear” if you’re at the right club.
Hell, she might let you do it AT the club.
Now if it fits, that’s another problem altogether.
“i’d like to put my dick in your ear”
I need a MEDIC!!!! Stat!!!!
*crying* and CTFU
This def made me laugh aloud …Wtf!!!!
I love to spring “The word of the day is legs. Let’s go back to my place and spread the word”.
That usually gets something started. . .
Because of you, I just laughed out loud. Thank you Kamakula. You have made my day better.
spread the word!
yes that really is a winner. a laugh out loud winner that is.
LOL!
You can be like Pee-wee’s Playhouse. Whenever someone says the magic word…
@ P-Jimmee and CHAMPeeezeee…3 THANGS….
FIRST of all (on the VeeEssBee tip) Im on my phone for real today and cant nest my comments in response to ur comments…which sucks…and not in a good way! Is it MY phone or can u fix it on the mothership?
SECONDLY…(in true goggles fashion) I met the afore mentioned HOMEboy while I was buzzing at a free Badu concert…KEY WORDS…me…Badu…liquor..concert…. a wrap! (@ AkShone and P-Jimmee – BADU GOGGLES should be added to the list…she IS crack!) I confess…I gave him my digits, but the whole “parents arent home” line was funny and I honestly thought it was an ice breaking joke…not his real life, ya know…i got the other info on the first (and only) conversation we had…since then…McCauly Caulkin’s play cousin has been living in the DNA section of the phone…I refuse to c*m in his parents house on his superman twin sheets (as an adult anyway, quit bringing up old sh*t)
THIRDLY…why am I the only muhfuggin VeeEssBee knee grow in the corner? what makes me so special? I KNOW Im not the only corner-licious commenter up in here! (although I do feel special that u e-love me enff to punish me…..mmmm punish me!) I think the decent t-shirt thoughts Ive provided in my less than 30 day stint as a PANA-CHAMP-IAN should get me time served…or at least some time off for GOOD(eness) behavior! cheese and rice!
u know u luv me…(licking lips so BOTH tongue rings show) so we f*ckin or what?
lol…couldnt help myself…I half ass apologize and sh*t…if I gotta live the corner, can I at least get conjugal visits?
You have two tongue rings?
Ok, that’s all I got from that too…lol.
it’s a shame that everything GOODENess said was lost on you after the two tongue rings comment **shaking head**
@Ana B, I’m guilty of losing the message too. Two tongue rings! How? WOW (Flav-flav) **mouth open and imagination going**
I get corny/lame lines a lot. Usually I just giggle and ignore them after that.
One time I was out at the mall, punching away on my iPhone, and dude walked up to me and was like, “Are you calling me?” I told him no, and he said “well here is my number. ” He got the giggle…..and then I swiftly walked away lol.
“One time I was out at the mall, punching away on my iPhone, and dude walked up to me and was like, “Are you calling me?” I told him no, and he said “well here is my number. ” He got the giggle…..and then I swiftly walked away lol.”
That’s actually not bad at all.
LOL. I hate lines as a principle. I’d much prefer you get to know me on some level in my everyday life, because on GP I don’t talk to strangers (anymore). I am of course nice to the men who accost me in person, I will smile with the “aww baby that’s precious” grin, but that’s about it.
@Panama. If I had a dime for every time a dude advised me to call him when he saw me on my phone. **rolling my eyes** And the worst is when you are in traffic and a dude rolls up on you with trying to signal for you to call him. FOH
see my smartass would get shot cause clearly if some dude rolled up on me while I was on the phone in the privacy of my vehicle my response would be, “im on the phone with your mom, she wants you to bring a gallon of milk when you get home”
you just dont roll up on people in a car. you just dont
@Ana… “You just dont roll up on people in a car” I agree. That should be a law
Let me find out that yall might break your comment record and before lunch time at that!
You already know it’s Friday…and some us…okay ME ain’t trying to do much at the J.
I have to catch up on all I didn’t do all week either because I wasn’t here @ the j or because I was here (at vsb.com)
@T-lee. You don’t see me getting mad at people calling and asking me dumb a$$ questions that force me to leave VSB. Not to mention, I haven’t even taken my lunch yet. **smh because I am an addit**
I see ya…I just got back, it was hard to drag myself away.
Them black beans and rice went oh so hard in the paint.
@Teacia. I might have single handedly unintentionally kilt the comment replies today. I gotta find a new site next week.
“i wrote this extremely awkward haiku on an index card”
@Champ~you had me at haiku
tangent~ one day(several years ago) me and my close circle of girlfriends wrote only in haikus in all of our communication. I’m going to write one now. thanks for the inspiration and shit
I thought you were going to catch up on work…vsb has done it again…lol.
Done deal for you. LOL
SERIOUSLY, WHEN ARE YA’LL GOING TO FIX THE EDIT FEATURE OR SEND INSTRUCTIONS ON HOW TO USE IT. I am going to have to start proofing my words hard b/c I know I mess up royally in the midst of responding.
uhhhh EKS, I love you sweetie but cut it out…after you post your comment, edit comment with a little timer comes up beside it. you have to proofread it then and click edit comment before the timer runs out…come on now, do better!
Everytime I attempt to edit by clicking the “click here to edit” I get a crazy a$$ blank screen. Maybe it’s just me! **pouting**
Geeeez. You probably have AJAX or something disabled on your browser. E-mail us and tell us which browser, version and platform you are using. I can test it out from there, thx.
E-mail us with the name of ur browser, version, and the platform you are using so we can test it out.
E-mail contact@verysmartbrothas.com with your browser, version and platform and we can troubleshoot. You have the right to edit your comments with peace of mind
@Liz. Thanks for the helpful advice. The edit button works on my home computer, not work. I will send him that info.
OH HELL TO THE NAW
The source of all of the worst pickup lines known to man resides in one place :
Myspace
This just in ” you dow for a sexy boy toy tonite..motel included
marco 955-****”
and that negro actually left his number…i don’t get it…my profile status isn’t even set to swinger anymore and i’m still attracting lunatics.
@ P-Jimmee and TEESH
Im on my phone just a typing away, explaing my case and ish and all the only phrase that registered with u bush babies was “BOTH TONGUE RINGS”?… lol… (insert Denzel as Frank Lucas impression) My Man!
so this comment is to confirm…
YES I have TWO (count’em TWO) TONGUE RINGS!
Wooooow (flav-flav). I have heard it all. I’m going to lunch on that note. LOL
as a fellow time out resident (within her close circle of friends) I’m with you on the whole being taken out the corner thing. cuz some of these kneegrows up in here should have permanent residence due to some of there nonsense.
**we need to take a stand
The pick-up line I will always remember will be because I was gaining weight and I was very sensitive about it and as I was walking up the hill to go to the neighborhood bodega, a group of guys hanging out on their front porch steps started talking about me, and the boldest one in the pack said “Gotdamn! Every time I see you, you keep getting thicker and thicker! You thicker then a thick milkshake girl! Come here!”
“You thicker then a thick milkshake girl! ”
I woulda cheezed the whole way home.
Worst: Yo you real cute for a darkskin girl!
My response: Gee…Thanks
Creepiest: Im on the last train on my way from work alone with some old creepy man. The whole ride he is staring at my toes and proceeds to say ” U got reeeeal niiice pretty feet, looks like you take good care of ‘em”….
My Response: Thanx …I guess
@Philly… I would have had to go to the next train cart. I can’t stand creepy a$$ people on trains or elevators with me.
the worst that has ever stood out to me is:
Damn ma, you shole do look good in black. I bet black look just as good in you.
Another bad one was at a bar – 2 dudes approached me one fairly attractive and the other fairly umm aesthetically unpleasing AND had like 3 teeth. Ok looking dude said he bet dude that my nipples would fit in between notsoattractive dudes teeth and could we see who one.
Baby daddy took some offense to that one, being it was in his presence.
I just like it when the man approaches and introduces himself. No lines needed. I approach men with drinks telling them they are drinking bitch drinks. Then tell them what to order and get the drunk then claim them as my possession.
Not really tho.
” I approach men with drinks telling them they are drinking bitch drinks. Then tell them what to order and get the(m) drunk then claim them as my possession.”
I am going to try this and report back… lol not really
I have sent a man a drink gave him the eye and then kept it moving. It works about 50% of the time
I used the drink thing Tuesday while watching Game 3. I left him at the bar drunk and mumbling.
I have never bought a guy a drink before. I was with a friend who did it and he just thanked her and kept it moving. LOL!
In fact, if I bought him a drink and he didn’t respond, I would NEED that drink back.
that is such a turn off @Cheryl a man with a bitch drink. I’m sorry a man with a Mai Tai is wack!!!! Hell yeah I said it.
No R. Kelly comments? Just askin.
“No R. Kelly comments? Just askin.”
we’re all too deeply depressed to say anything
@Nut. We all know he did it. Some of us are glad he got off (like me! I saw the tape that fast a$$ experienced girl wanted it and go it urine and all) and others are just happy another black man didn’t get caught up in the system.
If we didn’t learn anything else from this trial, we all should have learned that dudes with braids are played out. NO MORE BRAIDS MEN. Dreds, fades, ceasars, or bald heads going forward.
I smile and nod at girls who come up to bitch at me about my drinks. . .and keep on drinking it.
I figure the drinks is an excuse to start conversation. If I needed opinions on what to drink, then I’d be the one going up to people questioning them
first of all, i just have to make a note that my friend put me onto this site yesterday, and my productivity at work has plummeted. drastically.
i don’t necessarily have a ‘favorite’ pick-up line, but two that always make me smile are:
1) (said by any random guy on the street as i’m walking by) praise the LORD, you’re beautiful!!!
2) excuse me, but i think you have something in your eye. (pause, as he leans in a little closer) aw, nope, just a sparkle
well, welcome sonia, and tell your friend that their omelette is in the mail
Dude wtf, I’m hungry too
@Sonia. Productivity at work, what’s that?
productivity at work= zero once you find VSB.com
okay, so I’ve been hit on more than a little bit, but…one chick asked if she could cook breakfast for me wearing one of my t-shirts (she ended up doing it)
another chick asked to borrow my phone….called her phone and then called me back twenty minutes later saying that she was a little shy to talk to me face to face and hope I didn’t mind her doing that….(i was actually too shy to talk to her and was trying to figure out a way to get to her).
my worst attempt was at club woody in the auc….trying to study, but it wasn’t really the place for that….would see this gorgeous girl named raven everyday during my 30 min study session (really waiting for my spades partner to get out of class so we can go and make some extra money) sitting across from me….all the guys used to approach her all the time and would always get shot down so i thought i had no chance at all, even though she would look up and smile at me each and every day….but one day she got up and went to the back of the library….so i left an index card expressing that i would love to take her out sometime and with my contact info on it signed as a secret admirer…..i waited for as long as i could for her to come back so i could see her reaction, but she didn’t return before i left…the next day i get a call….too bad it wasn’t from her….turns out that her boyfriend worked in the library and would leave his books on the desk while he went and did his 2 hour work study….i ended up changing seats from the front of club woody to the back from that point on!! but i did run into her a few months later…she found the note one day in his room and they had it out about it….she ended up breaking up with him…i was excited until i realized that what if she remembered the number and saw that mine was the same….so i gave her the number to the pay phone down the hallway….once the guys on the hall started realizing who it was that was calling me, i didn’t get anymore messages about where we were to meet up at that day!! talk about hatin’ @$$ ni&&as!!
Yeah, that was some serious hate. Hold up. What kind of dorm did you live in with a hall phone? Did you go to Hillman?
“another chick asked to borrow my phone….called her phone and then called me back twenty minutes later saying that she was a little shy to talk to me face to face and hope I didn’t mind her doing that….(i was actually too shy to talk to her and was trying to figure out a way to get to her).”
Otherwise known as a stalker move.
This is why nobody touches my phone.
Aww man, good post! Sorry I missed the party. Here are some of the wackest lines from men who have failed to enter my queendom:
1) “What are/is you mixed with?” “Do you have xyz up in you?” It’s offensive that men think this is a compliment and it’s a shitty conversation starter. I don’t have an uncommon look, it’s not like I have blue hair and purple eyes or something worth commenting on. Standard high yellow girl features.
2) “You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my life, I think I am falling in love at first sight” (Pause: dude looked like a member of Crucial Conflict) I told him I had a boyfriend and he said “Well what does that have to do with me licking that (OMG!) and (WHAT?!?) until you (YIKES!) all over my face?” I wanted to cry.
3) Me- “I’m married” or “I have a boyfriend” (lies, lies, lies)
Him- “Me too!” But, Rufus, I mentioned my imaginary man so as to say I am not interested in cheating. Wasn’t that obvious?
Best line: “You need to quit doing that Pharcyde and “Passing Me By” Considering my love of 90s Hip-Hop, this was PERFECT. Unfortunately, I didn’t find him attractive and I was only in town for one night more, so it wasn’t worth it to try and ‘see who he was on the inside’. I hate myself for being such a sucker for cute men. I’d give my number to a cutie who walked up to me and said “Make em say ugggh, na na na na”.
I have a few lines I’d like to use but have yet to. One, I got from this silly novel: “Let’s make a trade: a piece of me for a piece of you.” I know that is corny, but I love it. The other one is from “Harlem Nights”, when Sunshine found her vick at the bar and said “Excuse me, but I’m new in town and I don’t have any friends. You look awful friendly….would you be my friend?”
“Pause: dude looked like a member of Crucial Conflict”
*Smoking on hay in the middle of hell*
I read that novel with the “want to make a trade” line. Which book was that?
Sweet St.Louis by Omar Tyree. Not a huge fan of his, but I really enjoyed that book.
I knew it was Omar or Eric, I just didn’t know which one! Thanks.
Ive had a lot of attempts, and a bad memory. so this won’t be the creme
I was walking out of a club at 4am, and it was kind of cold outside but my friend had left with my jacket in her purse. I was hugging myself and trailing behind my friends, when this well-dressed guy walked up to me with his friend and offered me his jacket (he wasnt wearing one). “I know I’m not wearing one, but you can have it anyway.” I looked at his outstretched hand and smiled, took his imaginary jacket, wrapped it around my shoulders and said “Thank you.” Him and his friend nodded to me and kept walking. They stopped at the end of the block, and we ended up having a short conversation. He had a great tie.
@Jess. Wow, an invisible jacket. That dude sounds like he was a tease. AND you stood in the cold on the corner talking to him, that must have been some tie!
it was. Silky purple, subtle diagonal texture. And he paired it with this vest that made for my favorite color combination. I couldn’t resist.
Besides, it wasnt that cold, and I was waiting for my friends to finish picking up game, so the conversation was with good reason too =)
Okay, I see ya. It sounds like it was a win-win and ole boy had game. NICE!