Dating, Relationships, & Sex, Lists

The Other Side: Game That Women Run Without Even Knowing It

Yesterday, I wrote about the game that men run without knowing it. And quite frankly, it was mostly a common sense list of ways men manage to make women swoon. If there’s one thing that should be taken from yesterday’s discussion its just how bad it can be out there for women that even the use of the word “conversate” could constitute game.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it’s so hard out here for the non-pimps that the ability to use actual words gets you into the back door. No Eddie Long. But here’s the thing, women run game on men ALL the time. Sure men have all these ways they do things to draw women in, but that same dude with good credit and exemplary writing skills could be the doofiest bumbaclot on the planet and dries up more panties than Bounty paper towels with a vapor lock and two hair dryers at a Dominican salon.

But women, oh women…the ball game is different. See women do most of the things that guys do (well the stability type stuff – credit, job, blahbittyblahblah) as a rule to ensure that they can be an indepedent woman since there are songs about it. And there is NOTHING worse than a woman up in the club who can’t throw her hands in the air when Webbie or Destiny’s Child starts talking about independent women. So chick innate game is different. In a way, chick game is merely things that men appreciate most about women. So consider this a woman appreciation post and penance for all the shenanigans that have pissed you off for the past few years.

Panama Jackson loves the ladies.


Glad you asked.

(By the way, looking good is the obvious choice here, so that won’t be on the list since it trumps any and every other form of game a woman can have. Face it, drunk and sloppy Halle Berry is still Halle Berry. She won’t be drunk forever.)

1) The ability to cook

And I don’t mean a woman who only cooks for her man, I mean a woman who is cooking even when her man isn’t there. A woman who doesn’t read the cookbook in order to make toast. Nowadays our values are all jacked up. A woman who can’t cook is kind of the norm. Basically, you lose no points if you can’t cook. But if you CAN, you automatically seem more appealing. Hook up a porkchop or a banging omelete and somehow, you seem like marriage material.

2) Have a great smile

I think if there was ever one theme that the Champ and I have focused on our 2+ years of existence its the smile of a woman and how much it indicates to us. And no (for all you who will undoubtedly say some dumb sh*t like , “I don’t want to look like a smiling clown all day”) you don’t have to smile all day everyday. I’m saying a great smile gives off the impression of a happy demeanor which goes so much further than a woman who looks like she bites trees for sport and eats children for snacks.

3) Have nice legs

Okay, so this kind of harkens back to looking good but there’s something about a woman with great legs that you notice from miles away. It’s game thru and thru. Shucks, men STILL remember Ki-Toy because of her stallion like legs and derriere. In fact, I’m about to take smoke break to remember her visually.


4) Have a sense of humor

Just like men, a woman with a great sense of humor ALWAYS stands out in a crowd. No matter HOW you folks read that post we wrote.

5) Ambition

For the most part we’re all young(ish) Black professionals here. If you spend enough time talking you’ll find out what everybody is doing with their lives because that’s what Black professionals like to do – talk about our “accomplishments”….and hand out business cards. Anyway, a woman who’s on the board of this or organizing this or making change where she can draws a man in because men like to be close to energy that is thriving. Plus, it let’s us know that you’re not a woman who’s just meandering through life because she was born but doing something with her time. Just like men need to be about something, a woman who is is all the more appealing and it pulls us right into it.

Unless of course, he’s intimidated.


Anyway, ladies, what are other forms of game that you’ve run and didn’t even realize it until a man told you? And brothas, let’s chime in here and let the women know how we’ve been gamed. It’s always good to show the ladies some love from time to time.


Oh and by the way, fellas, THAT is how you pander properly.


Filed Under:
Damon Young

Panama Jackson is pretty fly for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future.

  • Jeff


  • Fivegurl

    Like sports

    • Fivegurl

      Men LOVE when a girl can “kick it” and watch the game with them!

      • Alvin

        No, men do not LOVE when women can “kick it” and watch sports.
        Don’t you put that evil on me, Ricky Bobby!

        You do way too many annoying things for me to focus on the game.

        Women suck at watching sports the same way I suck at watching chick flicks. I make inappropriate comments about how the characters look, laugh at inopportune moments, make fun of your enthusiasm, etc.

        Please stop with the illusion that men like watching sports with women.

        • Carmen

          I agree with this. Personally my man is glad I dont like all of the things he does.
          His reasoning is ” if we both hopped on the x-box for 6 hours at a time who would cook, clean and watch the kids” (he said it in a non-womanizing way, I love cooking and watching my kids… cleaning not so much but hey its gotta get done)

    • shay-d-lady

      Like sports

      every chick i know likes sports. Its not really game in my opinion. Most men I know only cares that a woman knows enough about the game to not interrupt.

      • Liz

        Yeah I think this may have been game in like 1973, but now? Pretty common lol. I don’t think men really care either way as long as you keep the snacks coming and you move out from in front of the TV. You can do that with or without an interest in sports.

        • VisionSpeaks

          naw, i have to say that nearly every man i’ve ever known say that snacks & non-interruption are the bare minimum. know the rules (or at least be willing to learn them – NOT during the big game), cheer for someone meaningfully, know some players’ names, even be up on the politics in the sports. now not *all* of that is necessary, but the more the better.

        • Crystal Marie

          I agree with you Liz! To me, it almost seems like women are trying to be cool when they’re all, “I love sports.” Honestly, I think a lot of women wouldn’t even care about football and other sports if men didn’t care so much. Some women genuinely doooo love sports, but I think a lot of them are faking. Talk about pandering. ugh.

          • SmartFoxGirl

            I say yes and know. Living in groupie headquarters (miami) there are tons of women who pretend and study sports like they are trying to pass the bar exam. This is all to reel men in. I do know some women that generally like sports but that number is very very low. I agree with you that their motives for originally liking it could be from a man, like their father etc. I can tell you in my experience that men don’t like it when a woman knows so much “man things”…you may turn into a friend. lol

            • SmartFoxGirl

              Typo: yes and NO. Wooooow da hell is wrong with me?

              • Cheekie

                Homophones won’t let you be great.

          • EFIE

            *First time commenter*

            As a woman who genuinely loves sports, I have to say it has been a turn on for most guys. It gets them really geeked when I can carry on a conversation about potential NBA draft picks and have serious conversations about game strategies and competition. I mean, these are things I actually want to discuss and since not many of my female friends are into it, it ends up being that dude at the housewarming sitting next to me on the couch lol. It’s not something I use purposely as game… I just notice it can work.

          • Liz

            Hmm I agree. Personally I’m not a big football fan. I used to play basketball and run track, so I am legitimately interested in those sports, and don’t think about how much it will help catch me a man. You won’t find me trying to feign interest in football, unless it’s college football and it’s USC.

            • Enginegro

              +8 cool points. fight on

      • The Champ

        Most men I know only cares that a woman knows enough about the game to not interrupt.

        this is like the 10th time in the last month i’ve agreed with you.

        ***looking up in the sky for falling pig sh*t***

    • Jenifer Daniels

      i was just going to say that.
      +ability to sing and you’re golden.

      i still have exes on FB screaming “if you weren’t married” [don’t tell hubby]

      • B. Brown

        You ain’t lying. When I was in HS I was dancing with this girl at a party and she sang the song in my ear. My mind was gone.

      • KitKatCuty84

        Man, my singing ability has yet to boost my booty bounty. Maybe I’m a dog and don’t know it? All guys are just intimidated by me. ;) LOL!

    • j.ivy

      I think they like for a woman not to be in the dark, or turned off by sport, and being mildly knowledgeable won’t hurt either.

      I enjoy sports, but I’m not a fanatic. ESPN gives you the same 20 minutes worth of info 20 hours out of the day…I catch my 20 a couple times a week, so that I can be relevant. (this comes in pretty handy when your business generally makes you the only woman in the room, no love for sale) However, I’m usually the chick who comes through on game day with the big case of Heineken, and a vat of queso dip and chips, and wings…fixes a plate, lets him know it’s in there, and goes to another room to watch something else…unless it’s semi finals, sweet sixteen, super bowl, championship of any nature, or boxing, because I do like sports, but my attention span can’t make it through a whole season. I’ll catch the last few minutes of the game he’s watching so I know if his team won or lost. That way I know what I’m about to be dealing with. big babies.

  • Liz

    Eh. cooking is overrated.

    • B. Brown

      Who lied to you? It’s not the biggest deal to me, but I have friends who won’t give a woman the time of day….wait, this has to be sarcasm. Nevermind.

      • Liz


        I am surprised by the people who assume I can’t cook. I mean I’ve been cooking since I was five, it doesn’t seem like such a big deal to me.

        • VisionSpeaks

          see, you sound like me w/ this one. except i have met FAR too many people (men & women) who don’t even know how to boil a pot of rice, let alone put together an entire meal. for me, cooking is another expression of my passion for my man, so yeah, it’s a big deal. i don’t understand why/how folks don’t wanna do for each other in simple ways like this.

          • j.ivy

            I can tear a kitchen up, but making good rice…

            rice is one of the only things I actually measure ingredients (rice/water) when I cook.

        • JessicaL

          Lol , cooking is my secret weapon.

          • ShadzY

            I love to cook. As a male, it’s part of my triple threat. I got the talk, the walk, and most of the looks. (Got a few more lbs. than most) So when I cook for a lady I put my foot in it!! All out down to the desert. I don’t even need a cook book! I do it all by touch, might sound a little gay but I put that extra effort in it that makes satisfying, itis-inducing, pass out -drooling, little pinch of love. Never had a female leave my dining room or my bed after that.

        • Dee

          Liz, you probably think it’s overrated because you’ve been doing it so long.

          I can’t cook that well, though I’m learning So if I make you a meal, it’s a ‘big deal’. I don’t do that for everyone,

        • Sula

          I am surprised by the people who assume I can’t cook.

          Same here. Lol. Even my father was surprised. *side-eye to Daddy dearest*… But I love it because it’s my stress release… and I like good food. :)

          • Liz

            At this point, I don’t LOVE to cook. But I definitely CAN cook and cook fairly well. It’s as if unless you’re known to be slaving for large groups of people every weekend, it is assumed you don’t know how to boil water.

    • Deus Ex Machina

      Cooking is a big deal. A woman who cannot cook is a deal breaker for me, I don’t care how fine she is. Preparation of food is a basic human skill that every grown person aught to have. If you do not have this skill there is something wrong with you. Big red flag.

      BTW in all my relationships I do 90% of the cooking so its not like I want to be taken care of.

      • Yeah…So

        “in all my relationships I do 90% of the cooking so its not like I want to be taken care of.”

        In the words of the Fresh Prince… “Why make a mountain out of a mole Hil?”

    • j.ivy

      I love to cook a great meal, when I have the time, but my friend dated a guy once who had so many dietatry restrictions, no fried foods(we are black), no butter, no processed, no flour…and on and on. cooking for rabbits is not fun. I eat healthy most of the time, but tend to look forward to the occasional itis inducing meal.

  • juicyjui

    I love sports especially football (I know yall aren’t big fans of the NFL but football > basketball most days).

    Holding a real convo with a guy about football and/or the Lebron/Kobe debate is game. I can’t even count the number of guys who somehow find rudimentary interest/knowledge attractive.

    And the smile wins everytime.

    • Keisha Brown


    • The Champ

      I love sports especially football (I know yall aren’t big fans of the NFL but football > basketball most days).

      can’t speak for panama, but i’m a big fan of the nfl. i just think the nba is better, thats all.

    • E.Jay

      It’s hilarious how some guys will perk up if you throw a bit of sports knowledge into a convo lol. No joke: this guy’s interested in me but when we talk, he’s all laid-back sleepy-voice. I mentioned I’m in a fantasy football league, and it’s like the air around our heads changed. Really, his voice got higher and everything.

  • Whitley Baby

    WHEW!!! I gots some game then!!

    *pats shoulder*

    *saunters off on my nice pair of stems*

  • B. Brown

    Co-sign on all those. I’ll add a (reasonably) flat stomach as a 3B.

    The thing that grabs my attention: beating me in an argument or proving me wrong about something. I have no idea why, but that just does something to me. Okay, I do have an idea: it shows that 1) she’s confident enough to go toe-to-toe, and 2) that she’s smart/resourceful enough to win. That will get me every time.

    • Crystal Marie

      I almost win arguments. But I think I do it nicely. Barack always says he loves debating with Michelle. She sharpens his wit.

      • Only4Today

        Iron sharpens iron………

    • SmartFoxGirl

      I cosign this. My mind trickery is A+. lol j/k I love friendly debates.

    • Yeah…So

      #gamematchpoint… YeahSo.

      Good to know ;)

    • Mimi

      I’m sure that you are not referring to the women who are screaming and hollering, like a wounded dog.

      • B. Brown

        @Yeah…So: I saw that one coming. It’s cool, though.

        @Mimi: goodness no…I avoid loud arguments as if they’re radio stations (actually, radio stations are loud and unproductive much of the time too).

    • KitKatCuty84

      I’m all for great CONVERSATION. I’m not a big fan of debate as it can turn from “friendly” to “heated” in a hot second.

  • ChaoticDiva

    Feel free to let me know when loving sports (like a man would) becomes the desirable thing. I seem to scare people with my intense interest in athletics. And I’m talking the game, not who’s the best looking.

    • B. Brown

      My guess would be about 1994….most of my friends really like sports (as do I) and would give anything for a VSS who can really break a game down. Me personally, I ever meet someone who can talk sabermetrics…she may get a proposal before we even get to win shares.

      • ChaoticDiva

        Maybe I’m just in the wrong region. Or need to wear my glasses more often. LOL.

      • S Emm

        I love sports and even work in the field. It’s weird b/c every female I know is a huge sports fan. Like real fan, not the only ppl I know on the team is Kobe. Let’s not mention how I can bust some ass in fantasy bball. But we all went to huge sports schools, so maybe that has to do with it. But I thought this was a lot more common now. Shrugs

      • Keisha Brown

        *strokes chin @ all of B. Brown’s secrets/krpytonite… ;)

  • shay-d-lady

    not being to pressed.

    Ive always found being well rounded and not at a ninjas beck and call to win me a lot of points.. and not like faking it for 2 months and then start calling that ninja. like reall life hobbies
    if theres anything this site has taught us, its that nobody likes hobbyless ho… LOL

    the ability to take a joke. yeah being funny is cool but the abilty to take and “GET” a joke goes a long way

    a nice laugh there are a lot of people in general that laugh like donkeys or hyenas or some other variation of caged animal you do not want sitting at your dinner table.

    • Cheekie

      “a nice laugh there are a lot of people in general that laugh like donkeys or hyenas or some other variation of caged animal you do not want sitting at your dinner table.”

      What if you laugh like Jadakiss?

      • JessicaL

        “What if you laugh like Jadakiss?”

        Oh damn! That is too funny.

      • Keisha Brown

        That made me LOL for real. thanks for almost getting me fired.
        Hope you have room for more cheeks in your place. lol.

    • Sula

      its that nobody likes hobbyless ho…

      Never gets old! :lol:

  • daniwhite

    Lol I actually love cooking and thought about becoming a chef, but I must admit that is one of the reasons the boyfriend brags that he loves about me. Who knew it was game all along? Lol
    Another form of game I guess would be the drive to work at our jobs to make our own money and get an education. A woman that can take care of herself and not depend on a man for everything seems to draw men to us even more…like bees to honey as my mom would say!
    Lol anyways some may call that game, I just call it survival! :)

  • RoRo

    Baking…should be included. All chicks who can cook can’t bake and all who can bake can’t cook. Weird but true.

    • oftenconfused

      Yeah I bake but I don’t really cook…well not like throw down…

    • Cheekie

      Too true. I’m not fantastic at either (I does my thing I guess), but I definitely can’t bake for sh*t. I’m a decent cook. I’m STILL planning to try out this Betty Crocker caramel cake recipe I’ve been eye-balling for months but I’m afraid I’m gonna blow up my building. And then my whole block is gonna smell like yeast. And no one wants that in their life.

      Seriously, I HAVE to try it, though… :)

    • JessicaL

      What! I can hook up a box of brownies,lol. I can cook my behind off. I’m trying to steal some of my aunts baking recipes. With her red velvet cake recipe I will be unstoppable.

      • Chocolynne

        I cook and bake. My husband is going anywhere because he knows he’d never eat so well elsewhere. If I get mad at him, we eat take-out for a full week.

        • Chocolynne

          isn’t going anwhere, rather. And really, he’s not going anywhere.

          • JessicaL

            If I’m mad at my man he know he’s eatin sammiches so you’re better than me.

            • Chocolynne

              Yeah, we eat take-out if he goes out and gets it. Otherwise, it would be sandwiches and I’m talking peanut butter and maybe some jelly. (I’ll eat before he gets home.)

    • Reecie

      yeah I’m not a baker at all. but thats because as much as I love to eat–I’m not a big dessert person, only on occassion. I do wish my Nana had taught me how to make her from scratch pineapple coconut cake before she passed away though :-(

      my mom always made cakes from the box. I mean, I can do that, lol.

    • openlysilent

      I gotta disagree RoRo, I can cook and dang ol sure can bake…and I mean from scratch…bread, cakes, biscuits. In fact, just the other day, I made some chana masala, pokora, aloo gobi and baked a chocolate cake. Needless to say the men in my house were terribly grateful :)

    • Sula

      Baking and cooking usually take different skill sets… You’ll find that the bakers are very precise and follow instructions to a t (which is paramount in baking) while a great cook usually flies off the handle and invent and create on the spot (not so good when measurements are involved)…

      I enjoy the process of baking… but I always have to add my own twist to things… or else I get bored.

    • j.ivy


      I can’t bake…I can make one kind of pie, my favorite, nothing more.