Dating, Relationships, & Sex

The Only Possible Comment On Yasmin Eleby, The 40-Year-Old Houston Woman Who Married Herself

Good for her.

Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a columnist for GQ.com And he's working on a book of essays to be published by Ecco (HarperCollins). Damon is busy. He lives in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes. Reach him at damon@verysmartbrothas.com. Or don't. Whatever.

  • MeridianBurst

    This is really sad to me and I’m embarrassed for her.

    • Damon Young

      why is it sad?

      • MeridianBurst

        I imagine she has to be really lonely to pump herself up to do something like that. It’s just sad that no one loves her.

        • OSHH

          Well she may very well have plenty of folks that love her, dudes included, just not husband material or compatible on them levels etc.

          • MeridianBurst

            That’s true. I don’t think her family and friends care all that much about her, or either it was just so painfully awkward for her to be marrying herself they tried to fake like it was legit. I guess it’s possible she has prospects. I would think doing something like this would probably weird them out, but it’s a possibility.

    • I feel like her friends and fam just rode this wave and probably llaughing at her now

      • MeridianBurst

        There’s no chance the people who showed up to support her were her real friends. People who really love you and care about you don’t set you up to look like a fool.

        • Like it was an inside joke when they was 34 at brunch and then u get the invite and you have to sit her down like sweetie, homie, sis….no.

          • MeridianBurst

            lmao! “Let’s just have a nice party in celebration of you and your life, sisterboo.” – Real friends

  • I got more comments than that, but I’m just gonna smile and nod.

  • miss t-lee

    I really wish her “friends” would have talked her out of that.
    But, if she likes it, I love it.

    • Damon Young

      pretty much

    • More people’s friends should talk them out of getting married to the streets.

      • Damon Young

        i actually think that more people need to be talked out of marriage and relationships. like 62% of the people who are currently together probably need to break up

        • Wow, 62% huh?

          • From my experience, that’s probably a slight understatement. Never underestimate the stupid reasons people have either for getting together or staying together. NEVER.

            • HeyBooHey

              Church. Preach. Tabernacle.

              *jangles tambourine*

              • Angelica Christina Elizabeth G

                Tabernacle though? LOL.

        • heyheyno

          Dang 62% I don’t think it’s quite that many people who need to break up.

      • miss t-lee

        Agreed.

      • HeyBooHey

        Aside from the streets, people need to talk their friends out of getting married period smh

        • *sings in Bobby Bland’s voice*

          Ain’t no love in the heart of the city/ Ain’t no love in the heart of town / Ain’t no love and it’s sure nuff a pity

          • HeyBooHey

            Ain’t no love cuz you ain’t around

            *sways with hands in the air*

    • Rachmo

      I think I would have preferred a blowout 40th birthday but okay then…

      • miss t-lee

        Yup.

    • cakes_and_pies

      Home girl had her Mom walk her down the aisle. That is the most nope of Noppington Nope-ville I’ll ever see.

      • miss t-lee

        Wow.

  • KMN

    Hmm..
    OK.
    That cake look good though…I wonder if it’s red velvet?

    • Damon Young

      Am I the only person who thinks red velvet (everything) is overrated?

      • miss t-lee

        no, because it really is.

      • MeridianBurst

        Not at all. You’ve gotta give red velvet fried chicken a taste though for the sake of blackness. It’s a thing now.

        • KMN

          OMG I forgot about that mess lol…it always looks so burnt…and i don’t like burnt chacken *yes i said chacken lol*…i like it GBD…

          • MeridianBurst

            It looks like some weird, gross spin on buffalo chicken. I’m not curious at all about the taste.

            • KMN

              i KNOW…and it looks so dry…ugh just all around unappealing

      • It’s okay but it isn’t amazing like folks make it out to be. I’ll take chocolate on chocolate all day.

        • miss t-lee

          Chocolate sheet cake, FTW

        • Nicholas Peters

          Chocolate cake is the worst..

      • KMN

        Cake…you can’t go wrong with cake. but the cookies and the waffles and the malteds and the perfumes and ish…it is a little far. BUT I AM intrigued by the RV oreoes…

        • MeridianBurst

          lmaooo @ perfumes.

      • jasminecarmelle

        I don’t even know what flavor red velvet is supposed to be. Its like chocolate, but not.

        • KMN

          It’s chocolate…but red…and i think because a lot of recipes add sour cream that’s the ‘velvet’ part…but the icing UGHOMG the icing…IMO its confectioner’s sugar/butter/cream cheese crack…i could just eat the icing and do without the cake lmao

          • miss t-lee

            Yep, cream cheese icing is forever bae.

            • esp on carrot cake cupcakes.

              • MeridianBurst

                Yes.

              • KMN

                CHILE why you say carrot cake. i will CUT a nicca for some carrot cake. you don’t understand. talk about bae? CARROT cake is bae…and it’ll help my blindass see lol

                • LMFAO. your enthusiastic reply made me laugh.

              • miss t-lee

                nah…keep carrot cake all the way away from me.

                • more for me! *om nom nom

                  • miss t-lee

                    Have it all :)

            • OSHH

              yes, cream cheese icing on a pineapple coconut cake….. just sublime and I can’t have no cake til June.

              • miss t-lee

                Oooh. This sounds good.

        • miss t-lee

          it’s chocolate, but meh.
          As I’ve said before…the best thing about red velvet cake is the icing.

      • Very overrated. Only looks good in pictures, like Instamodels

      • Nicholas Peters

        You and the 8 people who upvoted you…yes

      • NOPE.
        stands on guard for thee. i dont like the concept of taking chocolate and adding red to it. like. why?

      • Freebird

        thank you. it tastes like card board, and let me tell you thats some nasty s hit! ill take a regular yellow cake with chocolate frosting any day.

        • MeridianBurst

          Carrot cake, petit fours, and any kind of icecream cake where the cake is chocolate. mmmm.

        • menajeanmaehightower

          Why are you trying to destroy our e-love? Why sir?!?

  • Aly

    This is probably the saddest thing I’ll see today.

    • Val

      I know, right. She’s standing there all alone with a look on her face like, ‘maybe this was a mistake’.

  • WHET?!

  • BrianCalhoun

    If she had spent that money from the wedding on a personal trainer she’d probably be better off.

    • Damon Young

      how so?

      • BrianCalhoun

        Well if shes marrying herself wouldn’t she want to be in her own company as long as possible? A healthy lifestyle can go a long ways towards providing that.

        • Aly

          Lol, this dude and his faux concern.

          • BrianCalhoun

            Lol I can see right now black people can’t talk to each other without everyone assuming malice.

            • well

              no, black people can talk to each other but you have to own your stuff when you say something nasty. The posters round these parts are smart/hip to ALL the jigs. So you can’t say something inflammatory and baseless and then try to clean it up afterwards without getting called out.

              anyone with half a brain could read the subtext in your comment which was that if she lost weight she wouldn’t be marrying herself.

              • Guest

                Nope, you made that up in your own head.

              • BrianCalhoun

                Nope, you made that up in your own head. My angle is the waste of money that could have been spent on self improvement rather than marrying herself. I don’t care what her love life is like.

            • Damon Young

              “Lol I can see right now black people can’t talk to each other without everyone assuming malice.”

              Come on, man. You made a joke about her weight. Just own up to it.

              • camilleblu

                yep…but he wasn’t joking #doe

            • PhlyyPhree

              Welllllll…. We were all talking pretty genially and THEN you brought up her weight as the reason she felt the need to marry herself. Somehow, your argument does not compute

        • Nicholas Peters

          I was thinking…if she is in better shape…she could probably catch and keep a dude.

    • Si Si YesYes Smoot

      Yeah because fat people never get married, that’s totally a thing

      • miss t-lee

        IKR?

        • BrianCalhoun

          Its unhealthy. She could have made a commitment to her on going healthy that she apparently vowed to do during an extravagant party for herself.

          • miss t-lee

            You can take that back where you got it, sir.

            • boybye

              Co-sign. We know he ain’t concerned about that woman’s health!!!!!

              • miss t-lee

                They never are.

                • BrianCalhoun

                  Actually I am, having had female family members suffer drastically reduced lifetimes from preventable medical issues it sucks when I see people ignore their own health and go into sexy at any size mode and don’t try and fix it.

                  • miss t-lee

                    The fact that you started off this comment with some type of sense, and then went into an insult lets me know how real your concern is.

          • miss t-lee
            • Damon Young

              i usually don’t like gifs, but you can never go wrong with bill russell

              • miss t-lee

                Never, ever.

          • Rachmo

            Where did you gather she’s unhealthy?

      • Girl, you didn’t know that? Also, every negative experience or problem that overweight people have can only be fixed if they lose weight.

        Got a parking ticket? -lose weight
        Didn’t get the job you knew you weren’t qualified for? – lose weight
        Car won’t start-? lose weight
        Nose won’t stop itching?-lose weight

    • LakeCity

      Well damn…

    • Are you her doctor? Are you her Dietician? If not, there is no reason to comment on
      what you THINK is something she needs to work on.

      • BrianCalhoun

        That’s why I suggested she consult a professional.

    • Charlisia Nwachukwu

      jerk move…

    • jerseryvixen

      what would you say if she was skinny. You know there are a lot of in shape, beautiful , well travelled, cool, successful women who never get married right? oh you would say they are “crazy”…aNYTHING to deter from accepting that black women are least likely to get married ….I am also starting to believe part of it, is because we black women ALSO don’t want to get married that bad because I have sat back and observed the men that white women marry and I see that very few of them are stuck on looks/height etc when it comes to choosing a husband, most base it on career/ability to provide, like real talk sisters, you KNOW you have looked at a coworker’s husband at a company barbecue and was like “word, she married him??” YES, meanwhile I know 5 foot nothing sisters with ridiculous height requirements for their mates and worrying about if her friends are gonna find him “cute”. I am 5’3 and lord knows I’ve been on dates with a dude whose head I almost licked when I hugged him, that’s how short he was, I will go on a date with a light skin, dark skin, short, tall, as long as he is kind and has something going for him, and give it a shot to see if there’s chemistry. You just never know, I want a tall glass of chocolate like the rest of us but yeah I also want to have a daddy at home to tuck my future babies in the bed at night.

      • BrianCalhoun

        Well I’d have said the same thing if she was white. I’m not sure what would have happened if she were skinny though because most people can change body size its just harder for some. But is your argument that black women are less likely to get married because they are hung up on looks/height over career/ability to provide?

        • jerseryvixen

          I am just saying we shouldn’t generalize and make her feel bad for being overweight because i know plenty of overweight married women to “skinny” guys and plenty of single woman who are in shape/ or skinny. My argument about why black women are not married, I basically said PART of the reason is our culture’s focus on looks, and “swag” and all that mess. I want to restate again “Part” not to generalize because we have a lot of pains that add to this “coupling” crisis. But I think I will say again culturally, we are so stuck on looks and superficial ish when it comes to dating. Mostly young women but I have even seen women in their 50s calling good men “corny” because they weren’t “swag” enough. And I would be bold to say also, the fact that most of our women are stuck on sticking to black men and not being open to other races as well. I have seen women call a decent looking engineer corny and dismissing his advances only to end up prego for a “swag” yet irresponsible man, and going down the baby mama path… I never get it, I guess culturally I value what a man brings to the table character wise and also his ability to provide protect and commit ( emotional health) and although just like every human beings looks matter to me but you will get me more interest out of me coming over and fixing a broken table then having the latest gear, or being “tall” that ish doesn’t move me as much. So in most cultures where marriages are common, they basically match people based on pedigree, what kind of family they come from, their ability to comingle assets and built a foundation, and if black women went to get there wherever they could we would be better off.

    • 1. For all you know that’s the next move
      2. Don’t be the double chin calling the kettle fat
      3. Fat people get chose all the time

      • boybye

        Co-sign x10

        *size 16, first out of all my single lady friends down the aisle, hits the gym with said single lady friends regularly*

        Finding “the one” can be tough regardless of your size.

        • Nevertheless its tacky that the first reason you assume the woman is single is her size, like maybe she just crazy

          • mikster

            this made me LOL crazy would be like… really legitimate too

            • Planning your own wedding by 40 sounds like a bad J Lo romcom, proceeding to execute and follow through….she might not be all there.

              • mikster

                I wouldn’t let my best friend do it. “Sis” a birthday party is good lol.

              • I am positive that Lifetime already made a movie about marrying yourself (I Me Wed-2007).

          • PhlyyPhree

            I died that crazy was the better reason she went unchosen. Mind you, I don’t think weight played a part AT AWL.
            That was just tacky.

    • eaux.

    • IminlovewithCoCo

      Amen and say it again!!!

  • Rachmo

    Um…okay sis…

  • KMN

    NOW i see why you mentioned this…she’s a Delta…the love/hate relationship you have for them Damon lol

    • BreezyX2

      He ain’t slick at all.

      • KMN

        we see you Damon…we see you lol

    • Damon Young

      i had no idea. i love the deltas.

      • KMN

        you and PJ and these stories y’all are sticking to…ok i’m down with that lmao

  • Couldn’t just tthrow a lavish 40th birthday huh

More Like This