(VSB will be back to regular programming tomorrow. Until then, check out this still very relevant blast from the past)
I have a friend who has a somewhat sizable share of adoring female fans. Tall, handsome, and earnest in a â€œguy whoâ€™d play a widowed bagel shop owner in a screwball comedy starring Katherine Heiglâ€ sort of way, heâ€™s the type of guy most other guys would assume had good luck with the ladies, so the attention he receives isnâ€™t surprising. I guess heâ€™d be the Anti-Weezy.
What is surprising, though, is the amount of attention his wife receives among my friends, and how the general feeling about her is split into two distinct and decisive gender-based factions. Basically, the men (generally) think sheâ€™s hot, the women (generally) think sheâ€™s not, and her level of attractiveness has been an enlightening discussion topic.
At first I assumed that the ladiesâ€™ general sense of â€œehâ€ in regards to her was birthed in a big ole bucket of haterade. But, I soon realized that it wasnâ€™t envy as much as its â€œsheâ€™s just not good-looking enough to be with him.â€ (Which brings up an entirely different â€œdamned if you do, damned if you donâ€™t:Â women are hypocritesâ€ argument, but todayÂ isn’tÂ the day for that.)
They just donâ€™t see what we see when we see her, and no amount of convincing has been able to sway them to even entertain the idea that sheâ€™s attractive.
While this debate was somewhat unexpected, it really shouldnâ€™t be. Men and women never seem to agree about womenâ€™s looksâ€¦especially if its not anÂ easyÂ call. Sure, most men and women would agree that Nia Long and Nicole Beharie are great-looking, but once you leave â€œfineâ€ and venture over to â€œcuteâ€ and/or â€œattractiveâ€ territory, their idea of whatÂ shouldÂ make a woman appealing rarely matches our idea of what actually does. Iâ€™d bet a week of Kelis child support checks that if I chose 30 random pics of women fromÂ alltheparties.comÂ and asked a group of 10 men and 10 women to rank them, the womenâ€™s top seven and the menâ€™s top seven would house completely different people.
Anyway, Iâ€™m not exactly sure why this drastic difference in opinion exists, but I have a few theories:
A)Â Itâ€™s Godâ€™s payback for men pretending not to know which guys women find attractive.
This theory holds water until you realize that our act is not an act at all. We really have no f*cking clue. For every Idris Elba and Boris Kodjoe—men other men can understand why women are interested in them—there seems to be 10Â men whose pull on women completely baffles other men,Â and this confuses us so much that we just stop trying.
b) We (men) just haveÂ differentÂ ways of looking at women.
***Things a typical man notices when first looking at Maliah Michel (the video vixen/stripper/Twitter supermodel pictured above)***
Pretty. Nice hips and thighs. Surprisingly small waist for hips and thighs that size. Surprisingly small tummy for hips and thighs that size. Considering size of hips and thighs, as well as 8 inch distance between her and drake, likely holding mega-donk. Long legs. Looks like she smells like peach cobbler.
***Things a typical woman notices when first looking at Maliah Michel***
Gold stretch pants in March? What year is this, 1984? This b*tch thinks sheâ€™s Jennifer Beals. She should probably do a crunch or two the next time she rocks a see-thru shirt. You canâ€™t have A-cups if your arms are that big. She could be cute if she didnâ€™t look like Drake just farted. If sheâ€™s been dancing all night, I know it smells like broccoli underneath those American Apparel Flashdance pants.
C) Women are natural haters.
***Even though this has no real relevance to this topic, I just wanted to put it out there. Carry on***
D) Women actually are very aware of who and what we find attractive, but their consistent contrasting is just them attempting to convince us thatÂ weâ€˜reÂ the ones who have no idea what attractive means.
Basically, theyâ€™re trying some elaborateÂ JediÂ shit to influence our thought patterns and opinions by ovary osmosis. Might seem far-fetched, but Adam did eat the apple, so anything is possible.
Damon Young (aka “The Champ”)