Dating, Relationships, & Sex, Pop Culture, Theory & Essay

The One Topic Men And Women Seem To Never Agree On: “Is She Cute?”

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(VSB will be back to regular programming tomorrow. Until then, check out this still very relevant blast from the past)

I have a friend who has a somewhat sizable share of adoring female fans. Tall, handsome, and earnest in a “guy who’d play a widowed bagel shop owner in a screwball comedy starring Katherine Heigl” sort of way, he’s the type of guy most other guys would assume had good luck with the ladies, so the attention he receives isn’t surprising. I guess he’d be the Anti-Weezy.

What is surprising, though, is the amount of attention his wife receives among my friends, and how the general feeling about her is split into two distinct and decisive gender-based factions. Basically, the men (generally) think she’s hot, the women (generally) think she’s not, and her level of attractiveness has been an enlightening discussion topic.

At first I assumed that the ladies’ general sense of “eh” in regards to her was birthed in a big ole bucket of haterade. But, I soon realized that it wasn’t envy as much as its “she’s just not good-looking enough to be with him.” (Which brings up an entirely different “damned if you do, damned if you don’t: women are hypocrites” argument, but today isn’t the day for that.)

They just don’t see what we see when we see her, and no amount of convincing has been able to sway them to even entertain the idea that she’s attractive.

While this debate was somewhat unexpected, it really shouldn’t be. Men and women never seem to agree about women’s looks…especially if its not an easy call. Sure, most men and women would agree that Nia Long and Nicole Beharie are great-looking, but once you leave “fine” and venture over to “cute” and/or “attractive” territory, their idea of what should make a woman appealing rarely matches our idea of what actually does. I’d bet a week of Kelis child support checks that if I chose 30 random pics of women from alltheparties.com and asked a group of 10 men and 10 women to rank them, the women’s top seven and the men’s top seven would house completely different people.

Anyway, I’m not exactly sure why this drastic difference in opinion exists, but I have a few theories:

A) It’s God’s payback for men pretending not to know which guys women find attractive.

This theory holds water until you realize that our act is not an act at all. We really have no f*cking clue. For every Idris Elba and Boris Kodjoe—men other men can understand why women are interested in them—there seems to be 10 men whose pull on women completely baffles other men, and this confuses us so much that we just stop trying.

b) We (men) just have different ways of looking at women.

***Things a typical man notices when first looking at Maliah Michel (the video vixen/stripper/Twitter supermodel pictured above)***

Pretty. Nice hips and thighs. Surprisingly small waist for hips and thighs that size. Surprisingly small tummy for hips and thighs that size. Considering size of hips and thighs, as well as 8 inch distance between her and drake, likely holding mega-donk. Long legs. Looks like she smells like peach cobbler.

***Things a typical woman notices when first looking at Maliah Michel***

Gold stretch pants in March? What year is this, 1984? This b*tch thinks she’s Jennifer Beals. She should probably do a crunch or two the next time she rocks a see-thru shirt. You can’t have A-cups if your arms are that big. She could be cute if she didn’t look like Drake just farted. If she’s been dancing all night, I know it smells like broccoli underneath those American Apparel Flashdance pants.

C) Women are natural haters.

***Even though this has no real relevance to this topic, I just wanted to put it out there. Carry on***

D) Women actually are very aware of who and what we find attractive, but their consistent contrasting is just them attempting to convince us that we‘re the ones who have no idea what attractive means.

Basically, they’re trying some elaborate Jedi shit to influence our thought patterns and opinions by ovary osmosis. Might seem far-fetched, but Adam did eat the apple, so anything is possible.

Damon Young (aka “The Champ”)

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Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a contributing editor for EBONY.com. He resides in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes.

  • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

    Wow…Definitely a top 5 Champ article of all time. I’m glad u brought it back cause I didn’t catch it the first time. All 4 of these theories are spot on, but I think it’s more B than the rest. When I see women giving stank faces and talkin about the many reasons they judge other women so harshly or are unimpressed by women I find to be chexy it’s always for reasons that wouldn’t have crossed my mind in the most intense of brainstorms. I’m always thinkin, “but…you’re changin the subject. What does that have to do with how attractive she is?” lol It’s also C a lot of times. It’s a byproduct of natural competition. Men do it too

    • Negro Libre

      It’s actually quite simple: when you see the woman you view her as someone you possibly could have sex with, whereas your female friends view her as possible competition.

      • http://www.twitter.com/Bmorebmw Tentpole

        Couldn’t say it any better.

      • LMNOP

        or as a possible friend

      • A Woman’s Eyes

        Hmm, must be a straight woman phenomena, yep. lmao

      • Ms. Bridget

        Yup. I’ve been in convos with friends about obviously pretty girls, who other women swear up and down are ugly. Every time this happens the whole, “she’s not good enough for him” eventually comes up. And I’m like, “but lemme guess, you are?” That’s never a good look.

    • Rewind

      I do find it funny that the adjectives some women choose to describe other women are dead giveaways that they have nothing fruitful to add to the conversation, and rather are complaining for no abject reason.

    • That Ugly Kid

      “Men do it too”

      No. We don’t. At least not what women do. We don’t nitpick another man to death when he gets a lot of female attention. Even if we don’t agree that he should be getting said attention. We will admit to being dumbfounded as to how a guy like him is getting all these b!tches, but we almost always give the man his props for smashing the women he does.

      Men…

      “Haha, dude really rocking a Cosby sweater though?”
      “Heh, yeah, but he getting mad honies, though.”
      “True, true. Gotta give homie credit, he stay keeping him a dime.”

      Women on the other hand…

      “Ugh, look at her eyebrows. They not even arched right?”
      “Ugh, them heels were so last year.”
      “Ugh she think she cute with them jeans on.”
      “Ugh, she ain’t even cute! She just got a phat azz…”

      You get the point….

      • Rewind

        I got to disagree. Dudes do hate, dudes do take shots and whine like little bytches (we all met one hater they never lets up).

        But he’d never compare to a woman at a bar on a Tuesday night staring at the chick with big ti-ts and 3 guys talking to her.

        • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

          TUK, I do get your point. I think yall are both right. Dudes do hate, but I don’t think we do it as much as women. It’s mostly cause we’re too conscious of bein a hater and realize that it’s more about what they see in a guy and not what we see, even when a guy they rave over confuses the sh*t out of us (this is fairly common btw) we’re more just like “Wow, wasn’t expectin that one. I don’t get it, but hey. Good for him. Guess the rules are flexible after all.”

          Women are more like “uh uh, yall just think she cute cause she has large breasts.” I’m like “no, no, no…well, that’s part of it” lol

          • Rewind

            Ok you got a point there.

        • That Ugly Kid

          That’s what I’m saying. We’ll complain about some ugly dude smashing all these pretty women. We’ll complain about how WE (the decent looking to handsome looking dudes) should be piping women of that caliber, but that’s about it. We’ll give the “unworthy” dude his props admit he’s doing something right, and move the f*ck on with life.

          Women on the other hand, will literally nitpick every article of clothing, every bit of make up, and every physical feature, on the chick getting all the attention, in an effort to make it seem like I’m WRONG for finding said woman beautiful.

          • kid video

            We’ll complain about how WE (the decent looking to handsome looking dudes) should be piping women of that caliber, but that’s about it.

            + infinity…

          • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com Tristan

            Thiseth.

          • Kema

            “Women on the other hand, will literally nitpick every article of clothing… in an effort to make it seem like I’m WRONG for finding said woman beautiful.”

            Its not an effort to make it seem like you are wrong. Women are just more thorough when picking things apart.

            • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

              U mean more nitpicky and petty? lol

              • Kema

                No! lol! We go into details about everything. Why would our hate be any different.

            • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

              U mean more nitpicky and petty? lol

          • A Woman’s Eyes

            Yes, TUK that’s exactly right when that happens.

            • karmell

              I don’t see other women as competition, cause a dude likes what he likes. as far as drake goes…. um, yeah, nooo. girl can def have that. but i still don’t see what is amazing about her. I know girls who look 10 times better,face and body. the gold pants tho. I can’t. I know strippers better dressed than that, she didn’t even try.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        I think we just do it differently.

        (woman hating) “she’d be cute if she lived at fraggle rock”

        (man hating) “that nigga has more than me. lemme rob and/or kill him”

        • Rewind

          Nah, that kind of man hate is based on a dude’s lack of anything against a percieved notion that the other dude has everything.

        • Kema

          I agree! We hate on the things that attracts the opposite sex.

      • shorthairdontcare

        guys do hate on other guys in a jokey shady way but that joke about the color of dudes shirt or his curly is surely hate lol.

        i always hear he just go her bc he tricked or how did he get her. them im like hes cute, thats how. then dudes like oh…ok.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “Wow…Definitely a top 5 Champ article of all time. I’m glad u brought it back cause I didn’t catch it the first time”

      top five? allow me to reintroduce you to my archives. seriously though, thanks and shit

    • Brother Mouzone

      I showed this picture to some of my female office mates, and the responses were almost identical to Champ’s theories…”She need to take off dem’ spandex pants”…”her breasts saggin”….”I bet she got on some ugly shoes”..etc…LMAO!!!

      • Ms. Bridget

        Bwahaha! First glance I thought she wasn’t wearing pants. I was like, “what has VSB come to o_0?”

        • IcePrincess3

          Exactly! #THIRST

  • Pseudonym

    I think it’s more that women put more emphasis on “pretty” (read: face) whereas men put more emphasis on “sexy” (read: body). I find what some men consider to be attractive/sexy to be a little too “all out there on a platter” for my taste. I also can see the bad skin through the makeup which kills it for me. Women I consider to be pretty, most guys consider to be just “a’rite” usually b/c they’re bodies are more petite and less “video vixen” or they cover up more.

    • Rewind

      But that’s weird, given that most women who will harshly judge another woman’s beauty really aren’t beautiful to begin with.

      I’m decent looking. I’m allowed to have my opinions, but the minute I start talking shyte about a really good looking man, I’ve lost all rights to be heard if my argument isn’t sound.

      • Ms. Bridget

        Exactly. They (not so pretty people) feel like they have a lot to make up for…thus the harsh judgement of others.

    • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

      Pseudonym, I hear u, but u gotta realize that “sexy” isn’t only the body. It’s the way they carry themselves, the way they talk (and their voice), the way they look at you etc; Even before you get to all that some women’s face itself looks sexy based on their features and the way they smile/gaze. I think women either don’t see or don’t value that aspect of attractiveness in other women at all but men do a lot. Some chicks just ooze sex appeal, while others are just naturally pretty on some “d@mn, I want my daughter to look like you” steez. It’s interesting when you start breaking down all the intricate nuances of attractiveness. I do agree that men place more value on women’s body when judging them than most women do when judging each other tho

      • http://missrosen.wordpress.com esa

        ~ I do agree that men place more value on women’s body when judging them than most women do when judging each other tho

        mm i respectfully disagree. i think women are brutal when it comes to a discussion of women’s bodies. tho they may say, “we look at her face, her attitude, her personality, her clothes” this is ~in addition~ to her body.

        and the better her body, the more provocative it is… because a beautiful body can either be a thing of inspiration or a thing of jealousy for most because we more often then not are comparing ourselves inside our head.

        • http://saysmeblog.wordpress.com/ Aly

          Yup, I agree with you, esa. Women are WAY harder on ourselves and other women when it comes to our bodies.

          • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

            yes, we’re hard on ourselves so we’re hard on each other.

          • Kema

            Yes! He looking at the girl with the donk and thick thighs and all we see is cellulite. I dont think its hate because we are just as hard on ourselves.

            • A Woman’s Eyes

              It is insecurity if all we see is cellulite and the men see the donk and thighs.

              • Kema

                It is definitely insecurity. Many women are insecure. I have decided to live life like the fat ugly man that doesnt seem to know he’s unattractive. Much more fun!

            • http://missrosen.wordpress.com esa

              ~ I dont think its hate because we are just as hard on ourselves.

              i, for one, would like to be nicer to myself ~*~

              • http://saysmeblog.wordpress.com/ Aly

                Girl, me too. It’s exhausting being so critical of yourself, smh.

                • http://missrosen.wordpress.com esa

                  yess ! it drains the life out of me. i do so much better when i am kind, compassionate, and forgiving of my mistakes, flaws, and failures.

                  i love the idea that everything is a lesson and all fortune is good. we have the ability to flip the script and turn a lump of coal into a bright shiny diamond if we so desire ~*~

                  • Rewind

                    See this is the answer I’m looking for. Because everyone else is just saying they do what they have been told to do sincea youth, but what does that have to do with being an adult now? You have to take responsibility for what you do now.

              • http://dominicanabanana.wordpress.com Asiyah

                Yes, I have to be wayyyy more nicer to myself.

                We would be nicer to ourselves and each other if men didn’t find it so darn entertaining pinning us against one another, and continuing to compare and contrast women (especially women who are friends) very publicly and obviously. When I’m with a group of guys and they decide to compare my clique of girls and determine which one is the hottest, that will make any girl catty and insecure, no matter how hot she is. And, no offense to men, but you do that constantly.

                • http://missrosen.wordpress.com esa

                  in the words of the very wise PA :: dont take the bait ~

                  • http://dominicanabanana.wordpress.com Asiyah

                    I’m too lazy to take the bait, but I take mental notes on their clear machinations lol

                    • Rewind

                      Yea….those guys do that because yoru friends let them do that. If yall said “don’t pull that shiyte ver again”, they’d stop. Even better, compare a group of guys to them, and let them see how it feels.

                • MimiLuvs

                  Those men are bung-holes that’s why.

            • Rewind

              But..why? If you look at her, and don’t see anything you care for…why start breaking it down? Why not just say “not for me” and keep it moving?

              • http://dominicanabanana.wordpress.com Asiyah

                Actually, I do that, but people of both genders seem to demand details. If you don’t give details, you are simply “hating,” and if you do give details, you’re hating too, so women are always damned if they do, damned if they don’t. Unless they lie and say, “all women are beautiful.”

                • Rewind

                  You don’t need to give details if you don’t give up the information in the first place. If there is no good sound reason for you to voice your opinion, why are you doing it? Then you re asking for attention..that’s the only reasonable explaination I can think of.

                  • http://dominicanabanana.wordpress.com Asiyah

                    I agree with that, and that’s actually my point. A lot of times people don’t get that you just might not have an opinion about something after all. They insist that you must or you should and when you finally are like, “fine, I do” suddenly you’re an attention seeker. As PA says, “I will not take the bait.” Call me fake all you want but if I have nothing to contribute I just don’t. Doesn’t mean I’m masking negative opinions.

            • Sweet GA Brown

              I don’t have a problem with a woman that has cellulite getting attention from men. I have a problem with clothing. I easily notice cheap clothes, flammable fabrics, and material/shoes that is more likely to have broken straps and loose strings hanging.

              I have no problem with the confident woman. I have a problem with the woman that looks like nobody loves her and let her leave the house only to become easy prey for men that think her cheap clothes that easily expose her cellulite. Then she may end up being the same one that thinks she slayin every female in the spot.

              This is what I notice…for a split second then its on to the next thought.

              • Marshal

                I can understand To an Extent about Fashion, but c’mon, somebody can’t Look Good shopping at Old Navy rather than some High End Boutique??? I as a Guy don’t need to buy clothes from Only the City Blues, PCX or some other Urban shops, Nor do I need ot Only have Abercrombie and Fitch or Aerostaple in my closet. That’s just Superficial and Dumb… So Looks Only Matter based on How Much a Woman/Man Spends on their Clothes??? Sure, look like a $1000-$1Million but you Broke as Hell and have debt out of all orphices of your Body…. -_-

                If a Woman can look Sexy in just Seats or a Jogging Suit, some Wrangler Jeans and a basic Button-down or T-shirt, I KNOW she will be even more Sexy and Beautiful if she dressed up for an art gala event, an upscale restaurant or any other social event, THAT’S Personal Beauty as opposed to Beauty by Clothing….

                • MimiLuvs

                  I agree.
                  I am a believer in the “it’s the person who makes the clothes…” adage.

                • Sigma_Since 93

                  I’m SS93 and I approve of your comment.

                • Sweet GA Brown

                  I dont have a problem with clothes at Rainbow or Charlotte Russe. I dont have a problem with clothes at DTLR or Hollister. If you shop at Nordstroms thats fine too. It may be because my mother and grandmother are both seamstress so I notice when things dont compliment someones body or if the elastic that gathers the fabric in the waist gave out. Idk. I dont have a problem with the person or their body. I know they go on in life just fine if I laid eyes on them or not.

                  I guess its more of a pet peeve. Like females that stay with a sew-in notices every weave in a room.

        • A Woman’s Eyes

          + I agree w/ esa

        • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

          Hmmm, maybe y’all r right. I just think when we talk about a woman bein “fine” it’s likely that a woman who’s present will start talkin about “she not that cute. U just like her butt/chest etc;” and then criticize her face (and freaking clothes and weave smh) as if it matters way more than everything else. As far as the cellulite you’re right. That’s some sh*t y’all care about way more than us. I don’t expect that type of unnatural flawless perfection from women but I guess women do. My question tho is do y’all really hold ur selves to these same standards? Cause if u really r that hard on ur selves then I would imagine 19/20 of y’all have some pretty significant confidence issues as it relates to physical beauty. Cause I’ve met very few women that other women give props without any nitpicking. Maybe it’s a good thing that y’all r that hard on each other tho (to balance sh*t out) cause men tell even the most mediocre lookin chicks that they’re beautiful all the time, meanwhile women go on and on about how sexy a guy is, but when they actually talk to him, they’re quiet as a mouse about it. Poor guy has no clue that she finds him pleasing to the eye smh.

          • http://missrosen.wordpress.com esa

            ~ My question tho is do y’all really hold ur selves to these same standards?

            mmmasochismmm yes i do. doesnt mean i am always actively working towards fulfilling all of those standards, sometimes i am downing myself for the pleasure of the pain that avoidance creates.

            i could explain it, but it’s too long and arduous and ultimately, it’s a story about inflicting pain because i did not know how to love. and for a long time i treated others as i treated myself, golden rule gone wrong.

            now i love props. last week at my boys place this fly girl came thru and she was giving me a run for the money with the big hair and we were doing that quiet admiration thing til we said goodbye, and then i kissed her cheek and her hair kissed me back and i was like, WOW !

            so i spoke on it and then we had that minute of peace where we could both admire each other openly and appreciate each other as complementary, rather than competitive. and it feels really good to connect with women on this level ~*~

            • Brother Mouzone

              **now i love props. last week at my boys place this fly girl came thru and she was giving me a run for the money with the big hair and we were doing that quiet admiration thing til we said goodbye, and then i kissed her cheek and her hair kissed me back and i was like, WOW !

              Just curious Esa….After you kissed her, did some funky 80’s music start playin in the background?

              • http://missrosen.wordpress.com esa

                (giggle)

                more 70s funk like some Brothers Johnson talkinn bout Stomp ~*~

          • http://dominicanabanana.wordpress.com Asiyah

            “My question tho is do y’all really hold ur selves to these same standards?”
            Yes, hence, the prevalence and high numbers of women with low self-esteem.

            “Cause I’ve met very few women that other women give props without any nitpicking. ”
            Yes you have, and then she meets men who keep insisting that she’s lying (“oh but there must be something about her you don’t find that hot”) and keep digging until she finally comes up with something. Let’s not sit here and pretend men don’t enjoy a good old-fashioned cat fight. If you don’t see it you create it.

            • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

              ” Let’s not sit here and pretend men don’t enjoy a good old-fashioned cat fight. If you don’t see it you create it.”

              Once it’s already about to happen we do, but I’m legitimately concerned about the men you hang around if they try to pit u up against your friends, openly discussing who’s better looking, that’s just mean and f*cked up. Also, I don’t know many men who force chicks to find a flaw in other women. We’re just more refreshed cause USUALLY we don’t have to encourage it AT ALL, they do it on their own (and it’s infinitely annoying)

              • http://dominicanabanana.wordpress.com Asiyah

                Luckily for me, T.Q., I tend to avoid men who pin me against another female, but I’ve seen it happen before. At this point in my life, good people surround me, but that’s only after several years of dealing with garbage.

          • Kema

            “My question tho is do y’all really hold ur selves to these same standards? ”

            I use to be mean to myself. Worried about every little blemish. As I got older it seemed to matter less and less. I feel awesome about myself now in my 30’s. I find it funny now cause I nitpicked a lot when I was probably the most aesthetically pleasing to others.

          • MimiLuvs

            To answer your question: No, I don’t critique myself in regards to my body.

        • thE Woman

          COSIGN

          During my early college days, after I really started to monitor the comments that would come out of my mouth about other women I started to see where my insecurities were. Now regardless, I speak positive about any and all women. Granted some characters like Draya or Erica Mendez can really try me but even so I don’t know their struggle and they’re doing what they know to do – getting the job done by selling their look

          I think women get super critical when they see something they want to have but don’t. And usually that “something” is attention.

          • MimiLuvs

            After reading this comment, I wish that I had confetti, cheesy theme music, some sound EFX and a car to give to you.

      • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

        ” “d@mn, I want my daughter to look like you” steez”
        interesting…

        • camilleblue

          yeah…b/c no man wants their daughter to be “stripper beautiful”…

          • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

            I’ve heard a man say this before (he thought a woman was so beautiful and wanted his daughter to look like that). That’s probably one of the few sentiments I don’t ever recall hearing a woman utter…how much do fathers contemplate their future daughters being pretty?

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          yeah, if we (men) had our druthers, every daughter would be a tall and pretty tomboy who didnt grow boobs and booty until she was like 37

          • Marshal

            **Shots fired**

          • Sigma_Since 93

            Truth. I tell folks who ask me when will I try for the girl that I will when a) they come standard with a shotgun and a pitbull b) I get their signature on a contract that states they’ll pay for 4 yrs of college.

      • Pseudonym

        I feel you, but note that all those “nuances” you described ( way they carry themselves, the way they talk [and their voice], the way they look at you etc) is all BODY language. As a straight woman not looking to be enticed by another woman, I’m not looking for those nuances (nor are they directed at me). Therefore, my assessment (for lack of a better word) of a woman’s attractiveness is more based on the idea of “I would love to look like her/have her style/have that hairstyle/etc.” vs. the “I would like to have sex with her” perspective of a straight man who looks at her.

    • IcePrincess3

      “a little too “all out there on a platter” for my taste.” Agreed. As sexually liberated as I am, when it comes to clothes, I subscribe to the “more is more” school of thought. There really is something to be said for “leaving a lil to the imagination.” Women be out here jus giving away all they essence. It’s not a good look at all.

      • AfroPetite

        *nods head*

        I understand the thought process behind trying to appease a man’s visual senses but some women go overboard and forget they’re still in public. The sheer panel dresses that show everything but your nipples, labia, and the crack of your behind though? All that effort should have just gone into wearing cling wrap because you’re covering nothing ma’am.

        • camilleblue

          dead at cling wrap…

          • Dignan

            But seriously, ladies, don’t try wearing cling wrap. It doesn’t breathe. You’ll sweat like a mug.

            • Sweet GA Brown

              Since when has sweat stopped the fashionably ratchet. More power to them.

            • shorthairdontcare

              the bish looks good in the pants but not for me.

              i am terrified of having sweat where it shouldnt be seen

      • camilleblue

        yeah…i’m with you ice…you may get the curvature of my b00b, but you ain’t getting pasties….

    • iamnotakata

      “I think it’s more that women put more emphasis on “pretty” (read: face) whereas men put more emphasis on “sexy” (read: body)”
      +1
      This I believe is true! I have noticed that men are willing to overlook a womens beauty if she has it going on in a particular body part. i.e. breast, butt or she has that bomb figure 8 shape.

  • Malik

    any woman who a woman thinks has a good personality gets called cute in the right situation or in the right light. My opinion usually differs a lot because I’m more attracted to people who look similar to me.

    • mena

      Which is actually natural.

      I am always confused when a guy or girl will say someone is busted and they are staring at their mirror image. This goes for guys and girls. I just give a side eye and keep it moving.

      • camilleblue

        lol…why do i have the mental image of you with a real stank face looking at folks like they done lost their d@mn mind after they call somebody busted??

        • mena

          It just catches me off gaurd so it’s more of a side eye puzzled look. I know that people have mirrors. “His/her nose is too pointy, his her checkbones aren’t high enough, his/her face doesn’t have any structure to it, something is wrong with his/her right eye.”

          Say what?!? The same features you detest in that person are the ones that you have. Take a bench.

          • camilleblue

            lol…mena you been killin’ me the past few days…

          • Kema

            But you know what? I kinda understand. I do not like guys with gapped teeth. I have a very noticable gap. Maybe its my animal mating technique to change up the genetic stuff.

            • mena

              I think this is the case for many. You are trying to change how your kids will look so that they look “better” than you.

            • Yoles

              GAP girls UNITE!!!!!!

            • Yoles

              GAP girls UNITE!!!!!!

      • Kema

        Thats what I think about R Kelly’s ex wife. They look like kin. lol!

        • camilleblue

          ain’t that the truth…i’ve never thought r-ruh was attractive, so i gues that’s why i don’t think she’s attractive either, cause they do look just d@mn alike!! plus her voice grates on my ears…

      • Rewind

        Agreed. And I figured that out when I realized my funny looking ass was being way too critical of other people’s looks. I didn’t like the way it made me feel.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “any woman who a woman thinks has a good personality gets called cute in the right situation or in the right light.”

      ***every man who’s ever had a homegirl try to blindly “hook him up” is slowly nodding his head***

      • Eps

        Whenever a woman says she has a nice friend, you know she is ugly.

        • camilleblue

          lol…that’s true if all we say is that she’s nice….ususally if she’s attractive we’ll say that she’s attractive AND she’s really nice…

  • Jay

    I think that its a combination of A and B. Regarding B, men are more shallow when it comes to what we find attractive. We’re caught up on the visual and women are less so (luckily for us). They are attracted more to character and personality and if we’re talking about a female that we don’t know for real for real then they’re gonna make assumptions of that woman’s personality, based on their looks, and then base their attractiveness on that.

    • Negro Libre

      I wouldn’t call it shallowness lol.

      • http://dominicanabanana.wordpress.com Asiyah

        But if a woman was really visual, it’d be called shallowness.

        • Negro Libre

          There are already shallow women, they’re called gold diggers lol.

        • http://missrosen.wordpress.com esa

          not necessarily ~*~

    • Kema

      “We’re caught up on the visual and women are less so (luckily for us”

      We just include more variables. For a man attraction may be 75% visual and 25% other. While a woman attraction may be 25% visual, 25% Education / Job, 25% car / home and 25% other. So a lower grade on the visual alone may not give you an ‘F’.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        “We just include more variables. For a man attraction may be 75% visual and 25% other. While a woman attraction may be 25% visual, 25% Education / Job, 25% car / home and 25% other. So a lower grade on the visual alone may not give you an ‘F’.”

        good breakdown and shit

      • Marshal

        Why so spread apart? Can’t that 25% be a combination of Education, Job, Home and Car, because exactly How Man are living with the Parent Unit(s), working a Job that is nowhere Near their Degree, and simply can’t afford a Good Vehicle OR their Own Home/Apartment due to the Economy???
        Plus, the fact that these variables are even taken into account shows Some bit of Proof that SOME Ladies are not pulling their weight of being Worth a Guy’s Efforts in Courtship; those seem like something a Woman calculates towards a Man, not Another Woman…..

        Me Thinks this is a start to Real Gender Equality. I Likes

        • Marshal

          *many

        • Sigma_Since 93

          This is a moving target bro. Since woman don’t go backward, if she’s dated the manager of footlocker, your fry cook job won’t cut it. If he’s out of school in his career, college / grad school guy forget it, if he’s got his own pad (no roomates), living with parental or roomate guy is counted out like New Edition.

          • Kema

            Yup!

        • Eps

          What I have learned is that men do not really care about those other factors. We will date “down” waaaaaaaaaay before a woman will.

      • http://dominicanabanana.wordpress.com Asiyah

        Kema has a point. Was just thinking that.

  • That Ugly Kid

    Most of the time, it comes down to attention. Period. Women love attention. They love to feel special. Which is why they hate seeing a woman rocking the same dress they are, because it means they are no longer “unique”. So if they see a woman walk into a place and all the guys start jocking her (the new female), they start hating. Because no one’s paying them any attention anymore. Which is why they resort to nitpicking sh*t we (men) don’t care about. No, I don’t care that she’s wearing “Spring” colors during the Winter. Nor do I care that she used the “wrong” shade of mascara. Lacefront? I don’t even know what that is, so the f*cks given, again, is zero.

    It veers into the realm of pathetic when you just see women standing in the corner with the stank face with nothing but negative things to say because Miracle Watts just walked into the room.

    • Jay

      I like how you TOTALLY just skipped any kind of attempt at a PC explanation and went DEAD A$$ in, full blast, with both barrells, on the “women are haters” vibe. You make us proud. In this conversation, the fact that women are natural haters can’t be overstated…

      • Rewind

        TUK has the gift of gab.

        The ladies will come in throwing shots, and he’ll put on his Bulletproof Vest of Love, say some funny shyte, and 19 minutes later, somebody talking bout making TUK cookies and shyte.

        • Keisha

          Jealous? ;-)

          • Rewind

            Nope..I just knew how it would all play out.

      • shorthairdontcare

        are you f ing serious lol?

        not all women are haters. whether you guys admit it or not, guys get off on seeing a girl hate and when it doesnt happen its like flat fire works to *some guys

    • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

      ” Nor do I care that she used the “wrong” shade of mascara. Lacefront? I don’t even know what that is, so the f*cks given, again, is zero.”

      Dude….you’re a hero for stating that. It couldn’t be repeated enough. It really makes the women who do this look bad when they bring that ish up when we’re givin another chick props. Just stop it. I don’t care, that doesn’t make her any less sexy, but it did just lose you some cool points. All of yall alter your natural state for the sake of beauty, if the final product looks good, it just looks good. Stop trying to de-mystify her beauty in my eyes. Let me sing her praises if that’s how I feel, sheesh

    • That Ugly Kid
      • That Ugly Kid

        And yes, her body is 100% real.

        • Dignan

          Is “Miracle” her real name?

          Because if so, her parents were psychic. Daaaaaammmmnnn!

        • AfroPetite

          *looks at picture, tilts head, closes picture tab*

          She reminds me of a girl I went to high school with, just a straight up and down stallion. Even without the make up I can tell she is probably not going to waver much in the face department.

      • Marshal

        Ok, this Miracle has a banging body and a really pretty face, reminds me of the that girl Missy from Catfish- but Actually Sexy

        • Sweet GA Brown

          With Missy all I saw was hoodrat. But since you brought it to my attention, despite the koolaid red head to toe getup she donned, she did have a nice physique. Whereas you saw nice physique first…okay I get it.

        • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

          Word., If she even just cut that hoodrat ish in half, Mhissy would have been humpable. Though she’s someone who didn’t get what the game was about. She’s mad b/c a chick below her level got with her man and jumped out the window with it. That said, dude didn’t end up with either of them. Hmmm…LOL

      • A Woman’s Eyes

        Go Miracle!

      • KENYADIGIT

        Jesus take me now!

      • Todd

        JESUS! She is a hottie!

    • http://TheNewEve.com Bunni

      As a woman seeking male companionship, there IS a designated amount of hate flowing thru my veins for a woman whom Baby Jesus bestowed more bewbs and bewty to..i get a TAD salt lake city that petite women like myself are sometimes overlooked for the big bootied heaux with adult acne and buck teeth… that just aint right…but, such is life *shrugs*
      …As a woman seeking female companionship, I’ve noticed that a different switch is turned on in my mind….”sexy” takes on a different meaning when i’m the seeker and not the sought after….BUT, when discussing chicks with my male friends, I’m still more discerning than they are….a fatty isnt enough to rile me up…but a fatty, pretty face AND good hair?!!?!? shoooottttttt LOL

      …i think for men AND women, its easier to appreciate the value of others when you are not in direct competition with them.

      • AfroPetite

        LOL

        As a fellow petite woman I understand the struggle, although, for my size I’m draggin’ a decent wagon (it’s all about the ratio lol). Men are visual so I can’t fault them for immediately being drawn to the thighs, arse, & tittays but the butter faces that get ungodly amounts of play confuse me.

        • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

          But by play do u mean strictly attention or do u mean constant relationships from the men you’re interested in? There’s definitely a difference.

          • AfroPetite

            Attention from men.

            I figure if a man decides to enter into a relationship with an unfortunate faced woman with a nice body, she probably has some great intangibles that I’ll never know about because I’m not invested into getting to know her as a person.

            • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

              Oh, well all I know is that if it’s sexual attention they’re getting I don’t get why that confuses u. Face doesn’t hold as much weight when it comes to turnin a man on s*xually as the full physical package (or most of it) does.

              • AfroPetite

                So women with pretty faces don’t necessarily have to be stacked, where as women who are walking pastries don’t really need much facial beauty in order to get poked?

                • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

                  Pretty much. Just give us enough of something that’s stimulating to work with and perfection can go f*ck itself. #truestory

                  • mena

                    You taught me something new today.

                    • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

                      Mena, it’s important to note that this only applies to chexual things tho.

                    • AmaniKwenu

                      @ T.Q. Fuego

                      LOL!!!!

                      So women have a point when they pick out unflattering characteristics in other women. The men don’t care, when their intentions are only sexual. When they’re screening women for relationships, it seems like they’re just as critical of women as other women are. Yes? No?

      • Rewind

        But…doesn’t that just prove that dudes chasing after the women who have half of what you have aren’t the type of dudes you want to be around?

        • http://TheNewEve.com Bunni

          You are correct, sir. I’ve decided to believe that its not in my best interest to TRY to get attention….the folks I’m ‘posed to be with will notice me just being lil ol Bunni

          • Rewind

            Exactly senora, exactly.

    • iamnotakata

      No doubt Miracle is super gorgeous butttt that azz is fake! I have to give props too her, booty shots got her porpotions on point! She is a local stripper here in Houston, there are several strippers in Houston with plastic surgery like her see: justbrittany and syn…

      • A Woman’s Eyes

        another one bites the dust

        lol

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        “No doubt Miracle is super gorgeous butttt that azz is fake!”

        I think the booty is real, but the boobs are fake.

      • Todd

        I’ll give u partial credit for admitting the results came out OK. A LOOOOT of women would have said Faulk that heaux and kept it moving. Lol

      • That Ugly Kid

        Actually, her azz is real. And quite a sight while in motion. But yes, it’s real.

        • thE Woman

          And there goes another aspect of the conversation I don’t get. WHat does it matter if its real or fake? From Nikki to Kim K to whoever this Miracle chick is, if you carry it well and you don’t have some kind of botched plastic surgery who cares if its real.

          I do hate when I hear females contemplating whether or not a pair of titties or an ass is real. Does that make her less attractive?

          Based on the photos I’ve seen of Kim, Nikki, Maliah, and now Miracle I’m going with no.

          • MimiLuvs

            Ditto.
            I also hate the “Big Azz= Silicone” accusation that is going around now.
            I know a lot of women whose ‘waist to hip ratio’ always been awe-inspiring. But ever since this “fake booty” trend popped up, they are being accused of possessing augmented a**es. And these accusations are coming from folks that known these women since junior high school.

            • Sweet GA Brown

              A big azz doesn’t equal silicone but in the early 2000s and before that it wasnt that many females with donks out here. And petite slender females with a flat stomach and bunches of azz was hardly seen. Now Churches chicken and milk has so many steroids that babies hittin puberty and sprouting the donks and DDs and an all time high? The only physiques that I believe without a doubt are pure genetics are the ones with a lil cellulite, hips, and at least a lil bit of a belly.

              Some females dont like the silicone revolution because its makes it harder for them apprecitate their natural curves, i guess. I imagine some females see the way some men react to a silicone beauty and wonder why ppl arent thirsting for her natural physique.

          • That Ugly Kid

            I’ll break it down:

            1. Miracle’s parts are real. Tanaka is just being a hater.

            2. You are correct, fake parts don’t make you any less attractive if you’re carrying it well. However, women whose parts are amazing and REAL (see: Miracle Watts, Kyra Chaos, Melyssa Milan, etc) are a sight to behold. It’s amazing to see someone with those kind of natural measurements.

            3. It’s also about performance. I, personally, hate fake t!ts. Because they don’t move. Half the awesomeness of big t!ts/big azz, is the way they bounce/jiggles. Especially during intercourse. Fake parts barely move, if at all.

            • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

              Thank you TUK! #3 needs to be repeated at least 10 more times. I LOVE the way big naturals move around during chex. HUGE turn on. Fake t*ts offend me with their OBVIOUS phoniness smdh (reminds me of that Scientific theory Todd mentioned a month or so ago)

            • iamnotakata

              Lol at Tanaka? That’s actually not my name….but I am actually not hating. As I stated earlier 1. I think Miracle is very pretty, 2. Her body is one point as far as my standards go. 3. Despite your obivious fine tuned inspection of her rear. I still believe it is fake..

              This is just my opinion, no hate. As you all have said yes real or fake she is still very pretty. But I suppose I am amazed by women who are what I call genetically gifted, i.e.Tghey have that bomb figure 8 shape… So I researched to see how common it is to have both butt and breast and a baby waist. As far as I have found its actually not very common. So pardon me if I’m skeptical until proven otherwise from your opinion TUK.

              Honestly I probably would have been inclined to believe it was hers had I not seen before pictures of some of her fellow stripper friends justbrittany and her friend syn….if you care to dig, go to syns instagram and you will find a tbt pic of her and justbrittany from 7 years ago and they have both no azz or breast. But at the present time they have what I refer to as a gentetically gifted shape…

          • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

            “I do hate when I hear females contemplating whether or not a pair of titties or an ass is real. Does that make her less attractive?”

            Well, I’m gonna slide in and say I can at least relate a little to women on this one tho. A fake @ss says a little bit to me about ur character (and genetics) but it’s not as bad as having fake t*ts. The reason why fake t*ts are worse has more to do with the way they look, feel, and move. They sorta offend me actually. I’m insulted by the off brand physical quality of them and would actually prefer small naturals to big balloon lookin implants…but I might be the exception to the rule

          • Rewind

            Actually, fake body parts should be part of the discussion.

            It is one thing to change your personality, it is intended to fluctuate and grow in time, always being able to help people adapt. But when you physically change a body part, you are changing what your body was naturally supposed to be, and in truth, changing a part of yourself as a person, because people’s personalities and attitudes always change with a physical change.

            Do all fake booty chicks have bad attitudes? No. But what about her as a person created the need for the fake booty? People act like it’s a mere choice. Anyone who’s actually had plastic surgery (*raises hand*) knows good and damn well that’s bullshyte.

            So say what you will but making decisions like that speak much to one’s personality and mindstate.

            • thE Woman

              Leanin towards disagreeing with you on this one. I think a nice badonk is cute. Cute like the right dress or the right shoes. You can also have the right ass. I don’t think your mindstate really comes into play at that point. Now when you cross into Lil Kim and MJ territory where you feel the need to completely rearrange damn near your whole body, yes there are clearly some issues

              • Sweet GA Brown

                I think there is a difference between a nice badonk and a phat azz donkey booty that is not proportioned to the body. And there are females out here with the latter doing it for attention. I guess its a business investment for strippers. Then again Spyda and Magic are natural and they never are pretty popular.

                • Rewind

                  Yea, this is what I was leaning towards.

              • Rewind

                Yea…but there’s nothing cute about plastic surgery. You are permanantly changing your body. I guess it depends on the person..if they go for modesty..ok….but 9/10 we aren’t talking about anything modest fake boobs or butts are being discussed.

                • mena

                  I am going to agree with you. If you are changing your chest, behind, or removing fat, you are doing it for attention bc attention will supposedly make you feel better about yourself. For anyone to say otherwise is lying.

                  Unless of course you had breast cancer then that is different and the same.

              • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

                “I don’t think your mindstate really comes into play at that point. ”

                If you make the CHOICE to alter your body that says something about your mindstate. PERIOD. We can agree to disagree though. Some things are deeper to some people than to others I suppose

                • thE Woman

                  Well yes, it says I don’t care for how this particular part of my body. Just like a weave says I’d like longer or fuller hair or vaseline says I tend to be ashy.

                  But yes any kind of cosmetic alteration would differ in the level of seriousness…

                  I’m just sayin I ‘ve seen women get tummy tucks after having kids and they were happy about and I was happy for them. Just like Jigga gettin his chipped tooth fixed, I don’t thinks it’s always a sign of a bigger issue

                  • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

                    Well a tummy tuck after kids is different from breast implants.

            • ChiefRunningWater

              On point!

    • Kema

      “It veers into the realm of pathetic when you just see women standing in the corner with the stank face with nothing but negative things to say because Miracle Watts just walked into the room.”

      I am NOT going to sit here and act like that comment didn’t immediately remind me of the Scene in Belly with the hating dude.

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pm0P_BwKAzM

      TUK… I don’t like that sh*t

    • Brother Mouzone

      **I don’t care that she’s wearing “Spring” colors during the Winter. Nor do I care that she used the “wrong” shade of mascara. Lacefront? I don’t even know what that is, so the f*cks given, again, is zero.

      It veers into the realm of pathetic when you just see women standing in the corner with the stank face with nothing but negative things to say because Miracle Watts just walked into the room.

      I wanna dap TUK’s comment, invite it to one of Atlanta’s fine “shoe modeling” establishments, buy it a beer, and first lap dance is on me.

      • That Ugly Kid

        Yo, since I’m the dude who made the comment…can I go by default?

    • MimiLuvs

      I thoroughly agree.
      I know a lot of women are going to disagree with you. But, IMO, it is true. I just wish that we would just admit it.
      Me, on the other hand, have never “hated” on a woman because she was the most attractive person, out of the two of us.

    • Sigma_Since 93

      Stands up, applauds, and passes the collection plate around the room.

  • Rewind

    Not to be rude, but I’m not really sure why a woman’s opinion of another woman’s appearance has anything to do with what a man’s opinion of that same woman’s appearance. They are two different matters and honestly…who asked her?

    The second the claws come out, I notch it up to:
    a) she’s incredibly childish
    b) she’s got low self-esteem and no balls, otherwise throwing shots at someone behind their back but never to their face seems pointless
    c) she’s trying to veer attention in her direction when no one was ever going to take that trip

    Whatever the case may be, it’s not positive, and therefore not logical.

    Whatever gets my dyck hard wins, end of the story. I don’t need anyone else’s opinon of why. If I had that answer, I could f*cking cure morning wood.

    • http://www.twitter.com/Bmorebmw Tentpole

      If you have ever been in the women’s bathroom and hear what they say about other women, you wouldn’t make that statement. It’s right up there with make-up. Make-up is truly a woman thing. Most men know that many women who wear make-up really don’t need it.

      • Rewind

        I have done that. I’ve got enough female friends through my years to hear ALL of those conversations women will have about other women.

        And I still stick to my opinion. It’s mostly contrived old ways of thinking, where women needed to compete to be the ideal candidate for a man to choose. Now things are different today, and women truly are in competition with each other, but no woman has truly described with accuracy a true reason some women need to be as vicious as they are.

        All I get out of any explaination after all this time: It is what it is.

      • Think2Inspire

        Sort of kind of related but not really, I saw this the other day and went ‘hmmm’ followed by ‘DAYUM!’ The majority of these ladies don’t need it but I never knew make up could do some of the things in these pictures.

        http://imgur.com/a/ynkv8 (diet NFSW)

        • Rewind

          Damint I gotta wait til after work

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “Not to be rude, but I’m not really sure why a woman’s opinion of another woman’s appearance has anything to do with what a man’s opinion of that same woman’s appearance.”

      because

      • Rewind

        and that’s usually all they got.

    • http://dominicanabanana.wordpress.com Asiyah

      “They are two different matters and honestly…who asked her?”

      A lot of you ask us what we think. That’s who. In situations where you don’t ask, I give it to you, I’d tell her the same thing (“who asked you?”) but you ask your homegirls what they think about a particular woman. So then don’t complain when they “hate” lol

      • Rewind

        If I ask you, then you win that one.

        But every situation I’ve been in…I NEVER ASKED FOR SHYTE. The women just opened their mouths and hate started flying out. That’s all I’ve ever known to happen. That’s where my comment comes from.

  • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com Val

    I’m not sure how I fit into this equation. But, Jay said, “they’re (women) gonna make assumptions of that woman’s personality, based on their looks, and then base their attractiveness on that.” And, that is a sort of simplified version of how I’d sometimes judge other women. I say simplified because there would probably other things at play. Like, were I see her, club or nice restaurant, who she’s with, is she overly animated, quiet, how are her friends dressed, how her friends carry themselves, etc.

    For instance, Nicki Minaj is a pretty woman but, she disgusts me and if in a general conversation someone asked me if I thought she was attractive I’d more than likely say no.

    • IcePrincess3

      +1 Nikki’s a natural beauty, but she killin it with all dat costumey BS she does. Dat sh*t played out in 2010.

      • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com Val

        Yep, she needs an entirely new persona. Her stylists need to be imprisoned and kept away from society for a long, long time. And, she needs to stay far away from Lil Syrup Drinker. Then maybe she can resurrect herself.

        • IcePrincess3

          Ya kno what? I actually read the otha day that she may be doing just that. They said she let go her whole glam squad, & is going in a different direction, more high-fashion. We can only hope. *crosses fingers*

          • IcePrincess3

            Watch, Val. Now they gon accuse us of hatin on nicki :-)

            • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com Val

              Lol!

              • A Woman’s Eyes

                and 2 more bite the dust

                lol

            • That Ugly Kid

              Why yall hating on Nicki Minaj, though?

              • Dignan

                I know, right? Buncha hatin’ azz haters in this joint.

            • Rewind

              No, Nikki hate is well deserved

        • AmericanDream

          If it wasn’t for Lil syrup drinker,there wouldn’t be a Nicki minaj

          • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com Val

            Or, there would be a Nicki Minaj that was much different from the one we know. Read: respectable/ positive, non-misogynist

            • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

              …and working at Whole Foods as a cashier.

              Therein lies the problem with Nicki. She tried the respectable way, and it got her no respect. Now she’s doing this and paying her bills at the same damn time.

        • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com Tristan

          I agree it’s about time she switched her style up….she’s now pushing 30, all that gimmicky stuff is dead

          • mena

            Sweetie, she is pushing 31. Lol :-)

      • http://www.twitter.com/Bmorebmw Tentpole

        Nikki is Lady Gaga for our side of the neighborhood

      • http://missrosen.wordpress.com esa

        i’m old school. i say, Send In The Clowns ! i love the big top and the freaks and the Side Show Bobs of this world. the thing about Nikki is, she does not appear to be true to herself. her costumes look like prisons, and her eyes always look trapped. i would love if she found a path back to herself. it’s been a long time since she was a lil cutie reppin Queens ..

        • LMNOP

          Really? Nicki Minaj always looks like she’s having fun to me, she reminds me of a little kid playing dress up.

          She does have some weird eye expressions though.

          • http://missrosen.wordpress.com esa

            i could be wrong, and i hope i am, but get really bad vibes whenever i see her eyes in photographs ..

        • A Woman’s Eyes

          Never mind I’m going to give a pass on the Nicki Minaj hate because the men didn’t come in and rave about Nicki Minaj followed by women saying she isn’t all that.

          I officiall take back my 2 more bite the dust.

          • IcePrincess3

            Vindication!

            • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com Val

              Lol.

        • Micthemessenger

          Esa.

          I see it too! Thought i was crazy…she probably just wants to be herself.

          • http://missrosen.wordpress.com esa

            (smile) thank you for saying this. sometimes i see things that arent there but with Nikki there’s vibe i get, like she is trapped behind the mask. i feel for her as a person, not as an artist or celebrity. i once maid a deal with the devil and i paid for it dearly ..

            • Micthemessenger

              yeah. i think that’s the case with her…everytime i see her, she reminds me of a sad clown…

              be careful what you ask for children.

              you just might get it.

              hope that deal with satan works out for you…

              • http://missrosen.wordpress.com esa

                ~ hope that deal with satan works out for you…

                it did, and it didn’t, as those deals always do. i’m finally out of the shadow it cast upon my life.

                ahh, sunlight, i love it so ~*~

              • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com Val

                “…hope that deal with satan works out for you…”

                That certainly seems to sum up Nicki’s situation.

    • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

      *stands and applauds*

      And this is why I love lesbians. In my experience, women who are attracted to other women think like you do. Even if she is pretty by their general standards, their personality, environment and general situation matters. However, to steal your example, Nicki Minaj would be hot to a dude even if she was naked and dirty standing in the middle of a garbage dump shooting heroin and beating up on a child. Or if a dude doesn’t find Nicki Minaj attracted, whatever his personal tastes are can be put in that same spot and found hot. Thems be the breaks.

      • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com Val

        Shooting heroin though?! Lol

        I guess most men are more hardwired to just get what they want and then consider the consequences afterwards?

        • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

          Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner! Val, step up and get your prize of…nothing. :)

          But you are absolutely right. Men do not think of the bigger consequences a lot.

        • Sigma_Since 93

          It depends on where she falls in the keep her in the closet or is she someone I would bring out in public? If I NEVER planned to be seen with her in public AT ALL, I didn’t care. If was considered public worthy, I would think could she hold her own in the various circles I run in.

          • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com Val

            Public worthy? Lol. Wow. That certainly adds another dimension to this. I’ve never considered dating someone I wouldn’t be seen in public with.

            • Sigma_Since 93

              If you’ve ever creeped or had a side honey, you might have kept her in the closet.

    • Charcoal Burnt Brother Lover

      hiya, VAL!! *waving*!! :)

      • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com Val

        Hiya, AM!

        *waves back*

        :-)

  • Aly

    Serious question – do women do this a lot? Talk about other women’s appearance? Because I don’t see this behavior among my friends. We talk about celebrities, but not “real” people. I’ll admit that I talk sh!t about women (and men) in my head ALL the time, but rarely out loud. If I do say something it’s because the person is wearing something really outrageous.

    • Rewind

      yup

      • Aly

        Lol. Well, ok then.

        • kid video

          Everybody is not as sweet/kind/non-cut thoat as you Val…
          Stay gold, Pony-Girl…

          • kid video

            I meant Aly…im trying to work and comment at the same time.

          • http://saysmeblog.wordpress.com/ Aly

            Eh, I’m not trying to pretend to be sweet or anything. I guess I just don’t see this catty behavior a lot.

            I do live in the South though. Maybe the women here just cover it up better? You tend to hear – “Bless her heart!” a lot around these parts, and we all know what that really means, lol.

            • http://TheNewEve.com Bunni

              GIRL!! I moved to Atlanta from New York and for the first few months i was naive and thought women were SO nice down here!! No sideways glances, no mumbling….but i learned that down here, they will compliment your entire outfit, praise the work youre doing, close it with a “bless your heart” and have ALL the hate in their heart for you!!! I think I prefer the blatant hate from NYC to the ambiguous hate cloaked in Southern Charm. Blegh.

              • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

                Church!

            • Rewind

              I believe it happens down in the South as much as it happens in the North. The language might be different but the intent is still the same.

              And maybe, because you’re as nice as your font and picture make you seem, you might have avoided that minefield for a very long time.

            • LMNOP

              Haha, “bless her heart!” I love it!

              I need to move to the south, I would be so good at this.

    • Malik

      Yes. From elementary school to the nursing home.

      • http://saysmeblog.wordpress.com/ Aly

        Well, if Malik says it’s true, then it must be true ;)

        • Malik

          I try my best to be definitive.

    • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

      “a lot” is relative, but yes.

    • AfroPetite

      Yes. I know a woman wearing XYZ will catch my eye and I’ll look over to my friend girl and we’ll smile because we’re thinking the same thing. Most of the time we’re laughing at a woman doing the struggle walk in heels she knew she couldn’t wear for an hour/more, or a woman with no edges, or something silly. We don’t go hard on pretty women and try to dismantle their entire being though.

      • Rewind

        But she might be doing it to you.

        And therein lies the problem.

        • AfroPetite

          Ehh. I feel bad for women who feel the need to go IN on another woman for an extended period of time. However, in this context, I can only speak on my view of other women and how I react to gorgeous women I see daily :-)

          • Rewind

            I understand. Well at least you moved past it.

    • b sweet

      I do it with my friends, but it’s mostly complimentary. Like, she has a nice body, or I like her style. If we do talk sh!t, it’s because we feel like she’s not living up to her ‘potential’. We’ll say something like, now see, she would be so much cuter if she cut her hair, or she has such a nice shape, that outfit is not doing it justice, etc.”
      We generally don’t just rag on other women.

      • http://saysmeblog.wordpress.com/ Aly

        That’s pretty much how we are too, b sweet. Not that I have the best style, but I know what looks good on other people so I give them makeovers in my head ALL the time!

      • http://opinionatedmale.com Medium Meech

        Well well well, look who it is.

    • Keisha

      I say no… “We talk about celebrities, but not “real” people.” <–this!

    • Think2Inspire

      Honestly, I haven’t seen this a lot because I drop people (men and women) who talk trash about others.

    • http://dominicanabanana.wordpress.com Asiyah

      Aly,

      Me and my best friend do this sometimes, but not as often as men think we do it. And it’s only between me and her. We don’t clown on women, though. A comment here and there, but nothing too harsh or disgusting. I personally try to stop myself from ever going too far since I’ve been the victim of ridicule based on my looks. But with my other girlfriends? Nope. We don’t make comments about women’s personal appearances unless they are sincere compliments. I’m not a great person and I’m not completely immune to pettiness, but I don’t surround myself with people who feed the pettiness.

    • SweetSass

      Apparently… their insecure girlfriends did this… or they saw it portrayed on tv… thus ALL WOMEN ARE NOW PETTY JUDGERS OF EACH OTHER’S ATTIRE BODIES!

  • IcePrincess3

    I can’t even lie– My eyes immediately zoned in on dem pants!! I think when women look at people, (both male & female) we tend to look at over all appearance, including the outfit. You can be pretty/handsome AND busted at the same damn time! That’s how I’d describe this pic of malia. And champ, you should kno cuz you be the first one to jone a b*tch in some gear from Rainbow! Lol but I think most guys look past all that & go straight to sizing up the bod. You kno what they say: your clothes look good, but they’ll look even better on the floor!

    • Rewind

      People can’t always be a winner..but that’s just one picture in an outfit she kept on for a few hours. It’s clear she’s had better days. And that’s what men try to evaluate when he sees a woman “supposedly at her best”.

      Even if she’s not at her best, if she still looks good, that means, at her best, she’ll look great. And if she is at her best, at her worst, you’ll still want to tear her apart on the roof top of your ex’s parent’s house.

      • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

        And we have a winner folks! :)

    • Sigma_Since 93

      Throws the flag on that comment. Not true cuz stretch jeans and leggings to hide that them thighs were assaulted with a bag of nickels. VS have you thinking you working with C’s and you find out she got B minus minus minus. Those sleeves can cover the fact she’s got biceps (in theory) bigger than yours.

      • camilleblue

        lol…not throwing the flag…

  • Charcoal Burnt Brother Lover

    She may be your cup of tea, who told you she is mine?! Let’s agree to disagree.

    • IcePrincess3

      Girl dem pants malia had on look like the copper pot that the tea was boiled in rotflmmfaoooo

      • Charcoal Burnt Brother Lover

        LMAO!! She got on them disco fever pants. God bless her.

    • Rewind

      I don’t think this post is about her persay, but women like her where everyone debates what looking good truly means.

      I’m sure you can think of a woman who is your cup of tea and fits a similiar description

      • Charcoal Burnt Brother Lover

        I was talking on a general note. All I’m saying is just because you find her (whoever the subject matter may be) attractive and I don’t doesn’t mean that I’m harring or whatever, it just is my reality. After all, beauty is subjective.