The (Not So) Definitive List of the Top 25 Reasons Black Men Feel Disrespected
Barack Obama (Scott Olson/Getty Images)
25. Using big words I don’t
24. Wearing the same exclusive shoes I have on to the same place at the same time
23. Getting cut off in traffic
22. When I cut you off in traffic and you don’t realize that I didn’t mean it and you get upset
21. Walking too close to me
20. Walking too far away from, what I stink or something? Disrespectful.
19. When you don’t get on the elevator with me and chose to wait on another one
18. Asking everybody for advice but me and we all in the same place and when I politely ask why you didn’t solicit my advice you tell me that it isn’t my business
17. Acting funny, which can mean any and everything under the sun that I determine to mean acting funny whether or not you agree with me or not. I know when niggas are actin’ funny and that nigga was actin’ funny.
16. Stepping in front of me in line for anything (Black women are partial to feeling disrespected when white women steps out of line and returns attempting to regain their space, even if they asked nicely for you to hold their spot)
15. Throwing money at me unless I asked you to toss me some money.
14. Claiming I cheated when I beat you
13. Claiming I renigged and being wrong
12. Clowning me in front of people I know. Similarly clowning me in front of people that I don’t know. Don’t clown me.
11. Not giving me any condiments in the drive thru line (particularly not giving any sauce for my 20 piece chicken nuggets)
10. Not wipin’ your feet on the rug when you come in my house. Your great-great grandmother is rolling over in her grave nigga.
9. Being a man who picks up my tab for my food when I’ve made it clear that my pride would like to pay for its own meal.
8a.Buying my girl a drink in front of me
8b. Looking at my girl in front of me
8c. Speaking to my girl in front of me
8d. My girl being in front of you
7. Calling my woman at any hour between noon today and noon tomorrow.
6. When you dap me up with the left hand. Excuse me, when you attempt to dap me up with the left hand
5. When yougive me weak, limp wrist dap or don’t conclude with an approved finishing move such as a snap (played), locking it up (preferred) or a solid pat on the back during a Black man hug-dap
4. Putting your hands on me in a way that can be construed as a slap. Slap = most disrespectful of violent blows. A punch means we’re going to fight. A slap means you don’t even think I’d ever fight you, which, well, I don’t even need to say it.
3. Stepping on my shoes and not apologizing in the right time, tone, fashion, and with the right facial expression
2. Being told that you’ll pay my monkeyass when you have my money. While logical – you can’t pay what you don’t have after all – it is still direspectful because calling me a monkey ass is rude and implies that you aren’t doing everything in your power to get me the money you owe me, which is disrespectful. Word to Tat.
1. Not acknowledging me with some gesture of acknowledgement when its clear that I acknowledged you with some gesture of acknowledgement, even if its unintentional. If I feel slighted, I was slighted and that’s direspectful.
Bonus: 1a-z. Being Barack Obama.