Should Have, Could Have: The No-Win Situation

Posted on 7 March, 2011 by Panama Jackson

[***ADMIN NOTE: Being on BET and more specifically TV was as crazy for me as it was to be seen on TV. We'll touch more on that during an upcoming podcast. But thanks for all the support. Champ, Liz, and I appreciate it.***]

While the current season of The Game on BET leaves most of us wanting more than Charlie Sheen at a custody hearing, the most recent episode brought to light an interesting quagmire that many men find themselves in: the no-win situation.

But before we get to that, some seven years ago the movie Crash came out in theaters. One scene in particular set the discussion boards and blog comments ablaze. The scene involves A Pimp Named WetWipe aka Terrence Howard, the Colored Girl Who Can Play A Ho and Housewife, Thandie Newton, and two LAPD offiicers. Wetwipe and Colored Girl get stopped by the police, at which point one of the police officers played by Matt Dillon proceeds to feel up Colored Girl in front of WetWipe, who does nothing. That one scene caused more debate and discussion than the Lincoln-Douglass Debates in the Black community.

Should he have done something? Should she have just kept her mouth shut? Should he have taken the impending arsewhooping and jail time to preserve the honor of his woman? Is it worse that he just let it happen no matter what the consequences could have been?

Shouldn’t he have done…something?

Opinions were split and households divided. Absentee fathers came home just so that they could leave their women again because of how some women felt Terrence Howard wasn’t a real man. Thing is, the entire situation was a no-win situation. Letting his woman get sexually assaulted by LAPD is a loss and a shot to his manhood and dignity, not to mention his woman was harassed and he couldn’t do anything because…had he done anything he would have gone to jail and his woman STILL would have been sexually assaulted. The potential beatdown Wetwipe would have taken would have had Rodney King (20 years ago last week…WOW) feeling sympathy. And even now I’m still unsure as to what the proper course of action was. I mean, it’s his wife. It’s his job to protect her.

Oy vey.

Back to the lecture at hand.

In the most recent episode of The Game, Malik is now dating uber-banging supermodel actress chic Jenna (Tika Sumpter) and while he’s out of town for a game the wife of the owner (that he’d been banging, the wife that is) ends up in his hotel room ready for some of that Wright lovin’. She says she wants some of that good good, he says “I told you before, I’m done, I got a chick. I love her cuz she’s got her own.” She threatens rape and starts yelling and screaming and breaking sh*t in the hotel room in order to get what she wants. Now, Malik, being the oddly different and unlikeable character that he is on this season is conflicted.

He has a woman back home in San Diego (btw, is it more are there a whole lot of celebrities and random models and young rich people roaming the streets of The Game’s version of San Diego) that he just got finished jumping up and down on Mo’Nique’s couch which I’m sure is a big deal for people who read Jet Magazine for recent news. Point is, he has this crazy woman in front of him threatening to ruin his life unless he smangs her and a woman at home he loves who doesn’t appear to have vaseline all over her face like the woman in his hotel room. And word to the wise…keep your friends close, enemies closer and keep crazy broads in your sights at all times.

So what does he do? He smangs her. And the feels terrible about it later. And that makes total sense. But he was in a no-win situation. He couldn’t have just left the room. This crazy heffa was throwing things around and playing the rape card. He needs to be able to see her OUT of his hotel room. But he can’t. Crazy chicks do crazy chick things. So he does what he thinks is in his best interest. Smangage.

No-win situation. He lost on all accounts.

And you know what? His girl will never forgive him if he tells her. Which is what he wants to do. Women ALWAYS think there’s something he/we could have done to avert the situation. But is there? From where I’m sitting, short of just running out and praying she doesn’t pull any non-sense. But that’s one hell of a risk.

No-win situation.

So I ask you, good people of VSB, what’s the way out? Ladies, what could Malik have gotten out of the situation? Help a brotha out. We don’t think we can win. Women think we should know better or could have done something different.

What’s the win?

Talk to me.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

http://twitter.com/Brklyn2Chi Brklyn2Chi

You might not see me but I’m always there!

Hey maybe its just me…
- Wisteria
  
  Yeah…it is…lol
http://www.those2.com those2

watched you on BET and alright now! VSB on the airwaves that is good ish. I abandoned The Game weeks ago, but thanks for the recap!

Hey sometimes when you win you actually lose and sometimes when you lose you actually win and sometimes when you win or lose you actually tie, and sometimes when you tie you actually win or lose!
- http://www.twitter.com/apolloblaq ApolloBlaQ
  
  Hey sometimes when you win you actually lose and sometimes when you lose you actually win and sometimes when you win or lose you actually tie, and sometimes when you tie you actually win or lose!
  
  What?
  - http://www.those2.com those2
    
    You must not understand dry mouthedness
    - http://www.twitter.com/apolloblaq ApolloBlaQ
      
      Naw i just dont watch White Men Cant Jump on repeat.
- http://wewereninjas.wordpress.com/ Jay
  
  Classic. Still one of my favorite movies EVER.
- http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson
  
  the ghost of Rosie Perez is everywhere.
- P.Servant
  
  @those2
  
  Great John Madden impression! “When the ball crosses the goaline, it’s usually a touchdown!”
http://theatypicallibrarian.wordpress.com AtypicalLibrarian

Smangs! Turquoise Jeep for the win.

There was no way Malik could’ve won in that situation.
- http://iamyourpeople.com/ I Am Your People
  
  Love Turquoise Jeep! Gotta give props to Cheekie for bringing this foolishness in my life: http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com/2010/11/05/friday-foolery-smash-and-bang-multi-tasking/
  - http://theatypicallibrarian.wordpress.com/ AtypicalLibrarian
    
    Yes, Cheekie will forever be my shero. My life is now complete since she brought the joy of Young Humma and Flint Flossy into my life.
    - http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie
      
      Aw, thanks, ya’ll! I still plan to do commentary on each and every one of their videos. It’s on my bucket list. -_-
  - marketing_savvy
    
    i’m late, wayyyyy late but this ish right here…. i died from laughing and was revived to rewatch and laugh again! thank you Cheekie! i’m forever indebted!
- http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson
  
  Turquoise Jeep Music stays winning. Everything they do is full of artistic integrity, musicianship, and substance. We are all better because of their existence.
  - j.ivy
    
    You need a spankin for this comment PJ, go grab my belt….http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mNQX8lUEDI
    - http://theatypicallibrarian.wordpress.com/ AtypicalLibrarian
      
      Dear j.ivy,
      
      I’m gonna need you to come down here and explain the 10 minute loss of productivity that just occurred here today. Four minutes for “Go Grab My Belt,” 4:20 for the TJ fan tributes and 1:40 for coming back to VSB to type this comment.
      
      I totally think VSB should sponsor a TJ concert. There was no VSB day in my area, but I would spend money to see them in person. #realjeeprider
http://fatgrlatheart.com fatgrlatheart

i don’t watch the show so i didnt see this episode but that sounds so far-fetched. a rape kit would have proven that he didn’t have sex with her, no?

but it is SO unlikely that this would happen in real life. women may be crazy, but “sleep with me or ill claim you raped me” crazy is not exactly common.
- WayUPThere
  
  Tis true, but the game likes to set itself in modern times. Seeing that Malik had just cleaned up his reputation after the drinking/prescription pill problem, having rumors that he slept with his boss’ wife would definitely hurt his attempts at repairing his reputation.
  
  Besides, even if one is completely innocent, I feel like just having a rape claim as a guy immediately casts you in a negative light, although logically, it should not matter.
  - WayUPThere
    
    Should not matter if you are innocent*
- http://twitter.com/kjnetic peter parker
  
  “women may be crazy, but “sleep with me or ill claim you raped me” crazy is not exactly common.”
  
  and Butler being in the NCAA Championship Game last year is not exactly common…
  
  but Hey, you never know… #NYLottery
  
  personally i don’t think there is anything he could’ve done. i would say that in real life homey would have waited for a rape kit…but there is a possibility someone would find a reason to overrule a rapekit. #justsaying
- http://hotbiscuitsandgravy.blogspot.com Bengemin Grehe
  
  “i don’t watch the show so i didnt see this episode but that sounds so far-fetched. a rape kit would have proven that he didn’t have sex with her, no?
  
  but it is SO unlikely that this would happen in real life. women may be crazy, but ‘sleep with me or ill claim you raped me’ crazy is not exactly common.”
  
  I was going to post my own comment, but it was going to look like this so why bother? Although I’m sure that a few men out there actually do get themselves into situations where they have to smang or the woman will claim rape, it is so rare that I personally wouldn’t concern myself with it. Basically, I don’t know any VSBs that are dumb enough to get into these predicaments. But maybe I’m wrong.
- JustForToday
  
  His mistake (did not see the episode) was to let her in.
  
  Even if the rape was not proven, his girlfriend would have said “well why was she up in your room in the first place?”.
  
  See, no win.
  
  The best thing he could do is tell the gf he was with a crazy stalker bi#$% in the past that won’t go away, that it is over forever and that he will avoid her
  
  And NEVER, EVER, be alone with her.
  - Deeds
    
    He didn’t let her in, she was already in his room when he walked in. She somehow, made her way into his room.
- Kimmy
  
  I would think that she would claim domestic violence instead of rape. I’ve heard of one woman locking herself in the bathroom, called the police, and commenced to beating herself up. When the police arrived, she blamed the ex-boyfriend that didn’t want anything to do with her. Stay away from crazy!!
- S Emm
  
  Actually it’s more common than you think. The exact same thing happened to a football player at my school and he still hasn’t recovered after 4 yrs. They later found out the girl lied, but the damage was done. He was supposed to be a first round draft pick and never got drafted b/c of this. Needless to say no one even knows what he’s doing now. All b/c some girl claimed rape b/c he didn’t want her.
  - j.ivy
    
    same thing happened to me too! He asked me to tie him up…oh wait…nairmind…#norickjames
- http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson
  
  I don’t know why you all think this is so unlikely. Dudes get set up all the time. Courts are full of dumb guys dealing with dumb chicks who set them up.
  
  Hell, from my own personal experience, one of my ACTUAL friends in high school pulled that on a dude. Except she slept with him, then realized if her man found out she would be in trouble so she started a story about one of our friends raping her.
  
  And let us not pretend that some women ain’t absolutely batsh*t crazy. We all know women who we wouldn’t put something like that past. I’m not saying they are our friends, I’m just saying we know chicks who’s crazy meter goes a little bit further than the rest.
  - ac dubois
    
    right! a similar story is chronicled in the Bible (for my church people do you remember Joseph and the Pharaoh’s wife who got mad cause he wouldn’t give her some so she got him thrown in jail), so this has been going on since way back. And even if you don’t believe in the Bible, the fact that this story has existed for so long just illustrates that this is more likely than some people would like to admit.
    - ac dubois
      
      btw, i’m no religious scholar or zealot but that was literally the first thing that came to mind when folks start claiming this is an “unlikely scenario”
  - V.E.G.
    
    Yeah. I went to H.S. w/ a girl who, a few years ago, claimed her husband (they were separated) raped her and forced her to rob a store. And before you even comment…she is a college educated woman, a mother. Who went crazy bish on everybody all of a sudden. LOL.
    
    Of course, an investigation proved she was not raped. And it came out later she robbed the store on her own. But…he (I went to H.S. w/ him as well) was still picked up, questioned by police, etc.
    
    All this to say: there are crazy arse people running these streets and they do/say crazy ish. Ya neva know.
    
    Oh, yeah: they reconciled and are now back together.
    The heart wants what the heart wants. <<< see what I did there?
  - Divalish
    
    Maybe NOT bustin down in the first place would have made him a winner. But…once the card is on the table it couldn’t be picked up.
    
    And, although there are some crazy people in the world, they likely show us what they are long before we smash. No sympathy for not believing them.
- http://twitter.com/SmartFoxGirl SmartFoxGirl
  
  You’re right and rape is the hardest case to prosecute next to s.exual assault of any kind. It’s so hard to prove. He should have let her take him to court. He probably would have won. No lie.
  - dblcr
    
    thought you werent gonna comment on today’s post? lulz
- http://twitter.com/#!/Brklyn2Chi Brklyn2Chi
  
  While some might say wait for the rape kit or just leave and suffer the consequences it might be difficult to combat what an allegation like that might do to a ones standing and reputation in the community. Certain kinds of things after they are out there you can never get back, ask ya boy CB (shots fired).
  
  But Hey Maybe its Just Me…
http://awonderlust.blogspot.com/ sarah

lmao @ all the smangage!

the only way to be WINNING in this situation is if Malik was never being cruddy from jump by smanging the owner’s wife in the first place. just sayin.

how you like your eggs?? fried or fertilized?
- 90sgagril
  
  (Riley Freeman voice): You gon pay watchu owe..Sincurely, Yours Riley Da Santa Stalker..
  –Considering Maliks manboy ways and all that he has done to people, especially TT, it’s all catching up to him.. karma’s a bee…
  However, Malik did bring up that prenup situation telling the Golddigginh0e about her being broke if her husband ever found out about her adultery.. and thanks to DNA and modern technology/Csi courttv type of stuff they woulda known she was lying
  - 90sgagirl
    
    (Riley Freeman voice): You gon pay watchu owe..Sincurely, Yours Riley Da Santa Stalker..
    –Considering Maliks manboy ways and all that he has done to people, especially TT, it’s all catching up to him.. karma’s a bee…
    However, Malik did bring up that prenup situation telling the Golddigginh03 about her being broke if her husband ever found out about her adultery.. and thanks to DNA and modern technology/Csi type of stuff they woulda known she was lying
    - KBBN
      
      co-sign!!!
      it still doesn’t sit well with me that Malik’s new “love of his life” is TT’s ol’ sweetheart. That was highway robbery if ever I saw one. So I’m apathetic to his predicament because fear should have triggered that common sense into action.. “Wait betch! ain’t you got more to lose when they find out you lying. BYE!” or “OK, grab your purse and let’s go down to the police station. Better yet, what them digits again?.. 9-1-1. Here, it’s ringing! I’ll be sitting by the front door. Get dressed.”
      - http://hotbiscuitsandgravy.blogspot.com Bengemin Grehe
        
        It’s not so simple. It’s owner’s wife right? I’m sure that’d jeopardize his career.
        
        KBBN
        
        dude wasn’t thinking about his career when he first got with the owner’s wife so anyway he’s going to have to face whatever’s coming.. no-win situation for real
      - http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson
        
        the current love of Malik’s life is not TT’s sweetheart. Malik’s new chick is a supermodel he met in rehab. TT is back with the chick Malik smashed off.
        
        http://awonderlust.blogspot.com/ sarah
        
        i’m so glad i don’t actually watch this show… it sounds just plain awful.
        
        KBBN
        
        oops. i guess i’ve missed a couple episodes. meh
- ac dubois
  
  my thoughts exactly. he wouldn’t even be in a no-win situation if he had not been messing with his bosses wife. and of course, we can not go back and change the past, but you got to deal with the consequences of your actions.
  
  I mean he could have chosen to not sleep with her and have a partially clear conscience (he did have an affair with this lady for quite a while, so he is not completely a victim of circumstance).
  - E
    
    I feel if Malik was’t so rude to her in the 1st place at the club she may not have gone crazy on him like that. She had a point that she was trying to be supportive of him and told him to go to rehab to save his career so she was looking out for him (although they were both wrong for messing around in the 1st place). In the club he tried to act brand new like she’s some hoe that needs to keep it moving. So it’s like ok, if you wanna act like that to me, I can be just as grimey. That’s that karma catching up with him. I’m sure if he was a little more respectful to her about his commitment to his new girl (maybe even say thank-you for suggesting rehab, etc etc), things would not have escalated the way it did…
    - Bunny.
      
      I thought the saaame thing! He shouldn’t have treated her so terribly at the club. BUT if he did treat her better she still would have acted a fool. Karma is not a joke at all! I still think that her crazy ass talking bout she don’t have a uterus would have acted wild.
      If anything… He should have walked out and went back to his teammate who asked him to go out’s room and said either, “i’ll hit the strip club w/ you. There is some crazy woman in my room.” [Alibi] OR “Dude, there is this crazy ass woman in my room, yo, shes claiming I raped her! I just GOT here!” [Truth]
morvam

“A Pimp Named Wetwipe” ..LOL…you know you are dead wrong for that one. SMH.

I thought about the whole Malik thing and I really don’t see what he could’ve done differently. I actually felt sorry for Malik for the first time all season despite all the shady ish he was pulling from the beginning of the season. Him being an asshole was at most hurting himself but what that girl was trying to do was not a game. Crying rape..c’mon. Apparently payback is a b*tch named (insert name of Megan Good’s character here)
- Madame Zenobia
  
  “Can’t I call you Wetwipe for short?”
  “No, ninja its A Pimp Named Wetwipe! Like A Tribe Called Quest; you say the whole thing: A Pimp Named Wetwipe!”
http://brotherjamesthetastemaker.tumblr.com ChaoticDiva

Another non-watcher here.

My solution? Tell that woman to bounce, and prove that sh*t in court. After all, is she really going to risk herself going to jail for lying?
- Yoles
  
  exactly.. and to have to explain why she was in his room, half naked in the first place… she has a pre-nup to protect.. he should have called her on that too!!!!!
  - Orga
    
    I had to jump out of lurker status for this one. Women don’t ever have to prove anything with a rape charge. When a man is charged with rape, it’s game over for his reputation. Time to leave the time zone.
    
    Unless there is video evidence proving everything that the man says is true, then the man is found guilty. I’m not talking about court, either. I’m talking about life. She doesn’t have to take it to court. She just has to take it to the owner. Or take it to TMZ. Or WWTDD.
    
    Men lose on rape charges. Every. Time.
    - Be On It
      
      Bullshiggity. Only high profile men even get their reputations slightly tarnished, and that’s only because CNN and them need something to fill the 24 hr news cycle. You wanna know what happens to real life women who report a rape? The cops basically accuse them of making it up. They women then go to a hospital and get an invasive exam, where, if they are lucky, they get ONE person who is sympathetic. Then comes the long process leading up to the trial, during which she will get blamed for bringing the rape on herself. His friends won’t believe her, her friends won’t believe her, heck, most of the jury won’t believe her because if she wasn’t: a virgin, covered from head to toe, beaten to within an inch of her life, and previously unknown to her rapist, then she obviously asked for it and was a dirty slut who should have known better. And 9 times out of 10, her attacker will be acquitted. So all the guilt and shame and second guessing she’s been putting herself through, thinking that maybe she could have done something different to stop her attacker from violating her, just gets intensified tenfold because the justice system gave her a big cup of STFU. The infintessimally small number of false accusations are overwhelmed not only by the number of rapists who go free, but by the rapes that aren’t reported. Miss me with all the rape apologia and victim blaming and delusions about the number of false rape accusations.
      - I Lack Patience for Stupidity
        
        Hot dayum, Be On It!
        
        I cosign the “shiggity” outta that post!
      - Please, No Photos
        
        You really should speak to a therapist. Real talk.
        
        Be On It
        
        Sharing facts is not indicative of needing therapy. Thinking an overblown situation on a fictional TV show is in any way reflective of real life just might be tho.
        
        I Lack Patience for Stupidity
        
        To Please, No Photos
        
        That sounded very flippant and dismissive. I don’t know if Be On It is speaking from experience (personal or that of a friend) but please be careful how you address what could be someone else’s experience.
      - Tes
        
        I too, add a sad co-sign.
      - bob
        
        “The infintessimally small number of false accusations are overwhelmed not only by the number of rapists who go free”
        
        I say fuck that their are women that lie and im sorry for the true victims but its 100X worst to send 1 innocent man who didnt do shit totally ruin his life for some bullshit he didnt do then to send 1000 people who are guilty of that crime. and believe me as a black male the justice system is against us so we will be treated like horrible monsters
        
        AnonyMISS
        
        Black male privilege, much?
      - au napptural
        
        Word! You said everything I was thinking. Only 2% of rape claims are ever proven false, which is the same or lower as most other crimes like robbery. Also according to CONSERVATIVE estimates 1 in 3 women will be sexually assaulted in their lifetimes. More likely it’s 2/3′s of women, when you take into account regimes using rape as a weapon, men using it here to intimidate female inmates, etc. Miss me with that bull sh!t too. Men love to talk about the things that have the minutest chance of happening, but when it comes to real live rapes and ish, it’s wear longer dresses or don’t go out at night. #niggas
    - Corey
      
      @Be
      
      Tell that to the 9 football players who got their scholarships revoked and got tossed out of school only to be exonerated later. Sometimes “oooops our bad” just ain’t good enough.
      - M
        
        I agree that that type of situation is bull. On the other hand, what does that do for all the women who tell the truth about being raped and are ignored and abused for it? For the most part, they’ll never get so much as an “oops, our bad” from anyone. I say THAT is not good enough.
- hehe
  
  co-sign! That was not a no-win situation because he could just left his hotel room and she would have to prove that it was rape. I mean she had none of his semen on her and she would have to explain how she ended up in his room.
  - Seti
    
    I think Malik did what he had to do. He now realize he has unfinished business. He tried to start a new relationship without ending the old one. We ‘ve seen this situation before, “just because you say it’s over doesn’t mean it’s over.”
  - JustForToday
    
    re: semen
    
    She does now……………
- WIP
  
  yes, he could have made her perjure herself if she tried to accuse him and then he could have sued her (and by extension her husband/boss) for slander or some suchness. he actually could have come out bi-winning.
  - Classy6ft5
    
    “yes, he could have made her perjure herself if she tried to accuse him and then he could have sued her (and by extension her husband/boss) for slander or some suchness. he actually could have come out bi-winning.”
    
    You so smart for this.
  - Todd
    
    I see where you’re coming from, but that’s a long fight to have. Think about it. Do you want to spend years trying to rebuild your rep from something that didn’t happen, or smash her for 15 minutes to shut up. I’m not saying 100% I would smash her, but considering the changes my life would go through by NOT smashing, I would be thinking where my jimmy hats are.
    - WIP
      
      Common sense tells me that if she could threaten me once, she could threaten me again. So how would smashing for 15 minutes solve the problem at all? LOL, actually that would make the problem worse because she could STILL claim r*pe and have physical evidence! hello, come on men, y’all got to do better.
      - ac dubois
        
        exactly! she is very capable of prolonging 15 mins into years of blackmail, a sad cycle of deceit he would be participating in.
        
        and don’t let her get pregnant with his child “accidentally”… i don’t watch the show anymore but I think that will be part of the storyline very soon or eventually malik will be written out of the show through suicide because he cannot stand the pressure of all of this drama and the guiltiness he feels
http://brotherjamesthetastemaker.tumblr.com ChaoticDiva

Oops. I curseded. My bad.

Um, if my other comment doesn’t get the okie-dokie, I’ma say it again for the masses: tell miss lady to bounce now, and prove the rape later. Because lying in court/ filing false cases with the PD is a crime that will ruin her life.
Curious Capital

he had a way out. it just wasn’t ideal. after a media storm and getting arrested the police and hospital would have proven that he didn’t rape her. he’s a football player. pick her up and carry her crazy behind to the front desk. it’d eventually get sorted out. BUT he banged his boss’s wife and that would have been revealed making it a totally different no win situation. he messed with a crazy broad and that’s his fault.
- Anastasia!!!
  
  Boom – You summed it all the way up. He didn’t have to smash Meg Good’s character because he could have easily proved all that ish in court. Boom.
  
  But the other no-win is that he been schlucking the boss’ wife – Now if that aint some ish for your @ss!
  
  Panama is right – no win period.
  
  (Also, I’m on the west coast and Ill be watching tonight at 11pm! Get it VSB!!!!)
  - Seti
    
    To everyone, don’t take the accusation of rape lightly. Look at what Kobe had to go through.
    - Deeds
      
      That’s true…a rape accusation will hurt your reputation and f up your life.
    - http://twitter.com/eazylittle Eazy
      
      I agree wholeheartedly. Even if you’re completely innocent, a rape accusation will do some serious damage. It took Kobe years and he was the #1 guy in his sport!
    - WIP
      
      Ain’t Kobe still winning though? (I thought his a$$ was guilty).
    - Curious Capital
      
      agreed. i’m not saying screaming rape is like saying marco polo. it would’ve been a hot mess, but he had another option. imma just smang her wasn’t the only choice.
http://wewereninjas.wordpress.com/ Jay

Non watcher. I tried for a while… waaaay too Hollywood and over the top. My girl watches, I cringe.
- Divalish
  
  I liked the old episodes…the new ones have a foul “reality show” aroma to them.