The National Park Service Guy’s Face When Getting That Bullshit Check From Trump Is The Blackest Thing That Ever Happened This Week » VSB

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The National Park Service Guy’s Face When Getting That Bullshit Check From Trump Is The Blackest Thing That Ever Happened This Week

(Mark Wilson/Getty Images)

 

The face Harpers Ferry National Historical Park superintendent Tyrone Brandyburg made yesterday when presented a $78,333 check from Donald Trump — the same Donald Trump who plans to cut funding from the National Park Service — is a face we all recognize. Because its a face of recognition. It’s the “This nigga…” face. Which is also sometimes known as the “This nigga here” face and the “This nigga right here” face.

It’s the face you make when you’re playing spades and it’s tied at 440 and it’s the last hand and you have enough books to win and your partner just reneged for no damn reason. Or when showing up to a 3pm cookout and learning the meat won’t be done until seven forty fucking five. Or when a date asks for a handful of your fries even though you just offered to buy her her own damn batch of fries seven minutes ago and she declined. Or when your homeboy says he can’t help you move because he hurt his back last night and you check Instagram that afternoon and see his bitch ass tagged in a flag football game.

It’s also perhaps the staunchest and most battle-tested existential defense against racist fuckshit and Peak White Peopling. If you see a Black person with this face, and that Black person happens to be in some sort of office environment or any other predominately White space, you know that something extra super duper White just happened, and that face is a shield against it. Maybe Darth Susan in accounting is emailing human resources again because someone used the wrong color dry erase marker or something. Maybe you just overheard Thad in finance ask Keisha in marketing how often she washes her hair. Or perhaps someone just left an aggressively unseasoned chicken breast on a plate in your cubicle. And, since “this nigga…” is a race-transcendent caption that could be used to describe anything from wifi connections to fabric softener, Tyrone Brandyburg’s “this nigga…” face is totally aimed at our President.

We are all Tyrone. #TyroneStrong

Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a columnist for GQ.com And he's working on a book of essays to be published by Ecco (HarperCollins). Damon is busy. He lives in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes. Reach him at damon@verysmartbrothas.com. Or don't. Whatever.

  • Holy Room

    My nuccca my nuccca my nucca …..who sang that song?

  • Brooklyn_Bruin

    “Or when a date asks for a handful of your fries even though you just offered to buy her her own damn batch of fries seven minutes ago and she declined”

    Seems like I’m not the only one that wants to start a fight today

    • Holy Room

      You got your Tims on or nah?
      And who and why are you fighting?

      • Brooklyn_Bruin

        You already know that the thieves will out themselves and say that their theft is righteous and that the victims should be happy

    • Scenarios like this were legitimately a big part of the reason my last relationship didn’t last very long.

      • Brooklyn_Bruin

        Gonna add this to my OkCupid profile

        No vegans, no French fry “tasters”

        • MsCee

          Bruh, lmfao. What do you have against vegans?

          • Brooklyn_Bruin

            Same thing I have against people who non religiously don’t partake in pork.

            I’m intolerant of their alternative culinary lifestyles.

            • MsCee

              I love pork…just can’t stomach it anymore.

              • I’ll smoke you up some ribs that’ll change your life. Memphis dry rub style.

                • MsCee

                  Yeah it’s not the taste that does it…I’m not sure what it is but after I eat pork my head hurts, stomach hurts, everything hurts lol.

              • Brooklyn_Bruin

                That gets a pass with me. Age does a number to what you can nyam on.

                I done switched out ice cream for Brussels sprouts.

            • CrankUpThe_AC

              Lol as someone who non-religiously doesn’t partake in pork, I get in my feels about how ppl throw my restriction to the side. My friends were having an at home brunch this weekend and in the groupchat I asked them if they had turkey bacon. They ALL know I don’t eat pork and STILL proceeded to put pork in every. damn. thing including the grits. I feel like that last one was outta spite smh

              • Brass Tacks

                That’s cause it was…

              • NonyaB?

                I also non-religiously do pork – your friends ain’t sh*t.

              • Brooklyn_Bruin

                Serve you some jello with a wink and a nod. Smh

                • CrankUpThe_AC

                  And can you believe my dude (the cook) had the audacity to ask me for some of the turkey bacon that EYE brought? I wanted to sock ole boy in his throat lol. They all in my stomach lol. And I’m taking all the biscuits too.

                  • Brooklyn_Bruin

                    Tyrone face!

              • Lea Thrace

                you need a wholesale friend makeover. these people dont love you.

                • CrankUpThe_AC

                  They better hope I don’t ever get to host brunch. It’s a rap.

            • BrownKitty289

              Thats my fiancé, but he respects me (& others) for eating bacon/ham every once in a while! :)

          • AKA The Sauce

            Bad people. We covered this

          • Duncan Frame

            Hitler was a vegan

            • MsCee

              Well, touche.

        • Holy Room

          BB, you on OK for what? For some reason I THINK you are a handsome fella, like super.

          • Brooklyn_Bruin

            I’m a troll that lives in a basement. But as Nas said, some ladies understand my story

            • Holy Room

              Mmmmmmmmh. I like that, handsome.

            • TheCollinB

              Everyone always wants to quote “life’s a bytch but god forbid…” and I’m always thinking the “story” line is so much better.

        • Gotta set firm expectations from the jump.

        • Helga G.Pataki
      • MsCee

        French fries killed your relationship? Dayum

        • Apparently because I didn’t like to share my food every meal that reflected poorly on how I would act with my kids, etc.. lol

          • MsCee

            LMFAOOOOOOOO that was the laugh I needed today. Thanks for that.

            • Lol no problem. I had quite a laugh at the time too.

              • MsCee

                Reminds me of the importance of those mandatory logic classes I had to take in undergrad…I’m sure there is a fallacy to be found somewhere in that argument

                • Haha right. I just started to understand that logic has to take a backseat sometimes

          • Wild Cougar

            This is a real thing. Many things reflect on how much a man will take care of his kids. I go off him having a gut. If he got a gut,, he will make sure the kids eat. I don’t need logic for that. It’s just true. Don’t marry six pack guy till he gets a gut. If he won’t share his fries he’s not gonna pay child support. Fax

            • Lmao. This is one of those things where I don’t even try to understand the mind of a woman I just accept it as one of our differences :)

            • Bah Debo

              What the holy WHAT???????

            • kneelbeforetigers

              This is facts. Wow.

          • Zil Nabu

            Not sharing your food means you won’t be a provider and will never go down on her. It’s been scientifically proven. She got out while she could.

            • LMAO. Apparently I haven’t been doing my research.

              • Zil Nabu

                Now that you know, lemme get some of those fries…please.

      • TheUnsungStoryteller

        That’s deep, yo. Forgive and let live. We all have our flaws.

        • One of my relationships ended, in part, because she said that Nina Simone was “okay” and she didn’t like her voice. But she loved Beyonce.

          • Yay Radley

            Was she 20?

            • No, that would have been understandable if the case.

          • TheUnsungStoryteller

            Yeah…that would be a deal breaker. Nina Simone was probably too deep and complex for her. Or she didn’t really KNOW who Nina Simone was. I don’t want to think that Beyhive members and Nina Simone aficionados are mutually exclusive though.

            For instance, I respect and like Beyonce and I LOVE Nina Simone.

          • WeJammingStill

            uhmm sir. It is not that serious

            • She also loved Tyler Perry movies.

              • Linda Pritchard

                Oh, there was no real chance for you two.

              • Monica Harris

                Lol. You bougie.

              • TambranSauce

                Okay well there you go then. That was serious. That was enough.

          • Kat

            You was smart…

          • kneelbeforetigers

            Fair.

        • I’ve forgiven. I just want it to be clear that wasn’t the only reason things ended. But it played a part because she blew it out of proportion lol.

      • Holy Room

        She took your fries and you ended the relationship? #GodgrantthewomenofthismilleniumlongsufferingmenlikeinthedaysofJob

        • TheUnsungStoryteller

          I am in holy agreement with this comment. Lawd have mercy on these mens souls!

        • Lmao. It wasn’t just that there were some other things too. But I am in the boat of if you want something just order it. She would ask for my food just to see if I would share it, not because she really wanted it. And she tried to turn it into a much bigger deal than it was in my eyes.

          • Kas loves Jamaican Breakfast

            Nothing worse than being tested by your romantic interest. As soon I sense that, I go immediately to class clown mode.

            • Yes exactly. I will most likely “fail” the test on purpose just because lol.

          • Holy Room

            I can’t date a man that does not have a kind heart. That’s a pre-requisite much as I’m vain.

            • That was actually the other component of it. She tried to apply my relative selfishness with my food to other areas and I was like that doesn’t make any sense there is no correlation lol

              • Holy Room

                Selfish people are too self absorbed to be cognizant of their ways.

          • Monica Harris

            Well that’s a totally different situation. Of course, no one wants to be tested all the time! But I’m also in the camp of if you say you don’t? want to order it, dont eat mine. I still share though. Just without cheer.

            • I can share sometimes, but it can’t be the majority of the time lol

      • NonyaB?

        LAWDT. Don’t be so selfish, it increases your risk for heart attack!

        • Haha is it wrong to want to eat what I ordered?

          • NonyaB?

            It is wrong not to let me have a little taste. Plus, you’ also be welcome to mine. #SharingIsCaring

            • Guess it depends on how you came up. Don’t nobody share food in my family. Not even in a selfish way we just didn’t. The concept is just hard for me to get used to. Especially when you had the chance to get what you wanted 5 minutes ago lol

            • kneelbeforetigers

              I’m a woman, and I think that eating off the plate mess is so extra. If you want it, order your own, ladies– to go boxes are ok! I don’t need anyone’s dirty paws or spitty fork/spoon on my plate. Ewww!

              • NonyaB?

                Nope. Good for you if that works for you and you pair up with another non-sharer who agrees. But I’m having some of whatever my partner’s having if I want to. Nothing extra about sharing. Besides, those “dirty paws or spitty” mouth of your mate have been or are going directly on you after, so I don’t get that sentiment of disgust either but do you.

    • TheUnsungStoryteller

      And I’m just that type of woman who loves taste testing other people’s food.
      *slowly walks away.

      • Brooklyn_Bruin

        You are not alone, there are many of your people.

        • TheUnsungStoryteller

          *Proudly throws the fist up. I’m not backing down. I must add, the best part about grocery store shopping is sample tasting.

          • Brooklyn_Bruin

            I used to take dates to Wholefoods on Sundays. I know you people well.

            • TheUnsungStoryteller

              That’s so kind. Wholefoods is my joint. One time, I sat at their bar and the bartender/waiter guy gave me a few samples of beer. They were all disgusting though.

            • Cheech

              Speaking of which–anyone seen Mr. Steal Your Costco Samples?

              • Kas loves Jamaican Breakfast

                He moved to Seattle for a new gig and said he would be disappearing for awhile.

                • Cheech

                  Oh right. I forgot. Thanks.

      • NonyaB?

        Mi Gente! ??

      • BrownBearBear

        *Michael jackson voice* You are not alone…I am here with you….

        • TheUnsungStoryteller

          YASSSSS!!!

    • NonyaB?

      Why are people so territorial about their food though? Can’t be with a man that won’t let me eat off his plate. Yes, I may have my plate but I still want to taste yours ’cause I’m a grazer. Besides, I’m happy to share mine.

      • TheUnsungStoryteller

        Exactly! If I order a salad, I’ll share a tomato and a crouton with you. : ) Because I’m nice like that.

        • But that’s the problem though- no man’s gonna want a tomato and crouton from your salad. And if it’s animal protein he’s gonna go get his own.

          • TheUnsungStoryteller

            My man needs to some vegetables in his diet. I’m his only saving grace.

            • Veggies are so overrated. A bloody rare steak has as much nutrition as a salad.

              • TheUnsungStoryteller

                Sure. And you write all of the articles on WebMD right?

                • My wife’s in medical school. So that makes me qualified to give health advice.

                  Any health problems you have? I’m probably going to prescribe some brisket to cure it.

                  • Linda Pritchard

                    So, you got an equal opportunity education/advice thing going on? Hang out a shingle, I am not mad at you!

              • Kas loves Jamaican Breakfast

                More if that salad is just iceberg

              • Blueberry01

                …and a high level of fat and “bad” cholesterol…#RememberToExercise

            • BrownBearBear

              We must have the same kind of man, I’ve had an easier time getting toddlers to eat vegetables.

        • Diego Duarte

          Not trying to start anything here, just being politely factual, but salad isn’t food, salad’s what food eats.

      • BrownBearBear

        I’m with you on this, I’m a small eater, and I did the same thing to mr. brownbearbear the other day, he got fries and a burger, I got fries and a salad, cause I didn’t want all those fries, but can’t I just have a couple? Dang,

        • NonyaB?

          Exactly! You see it.

      • LeeLee

        I actually like eating off of a guy’s plate :)

        • NonyaB?

          Me too. And if they peeped it metaphysically, they’d see that we enable them to extend their lifespans when they engage in such acts of love and kindness! But no, they wanna pop off…

          • Kas loves Jamaican Breakfast

            Down vote for using words I can’t spell and don’t know the meaning of.

          • Wild Cougar

            They’re just showing they are not about us. Just “me”. Not boyfriend material

            • NonyaB?

              Exactamente. ??

      • Diego Duarte

        Ok let’s rationalize this. Sharing food is okay under most circumstances. It’s okay when you order regular meals, or when you’re trying a new place and want to sample food together.

        It’s not okay however if you order something “exotic” (read here something inedible) or something you KNOW I can’t eat and then reach for my dish. Meaning here you’re eating your food and then also taking away half of mine.

        Also, need I remind you we’re a predatory species? Hungry predators are territorial, as are hungry persons.

        • NonyaB?

          But sharing usually involves taking just a bit of your food. So, we can share all the time.

          • SimplyDope

            Ain’t nothing worse than getting that cowboy ribeye and getting down to your last three pieces… You know, the ones you’ve been saving ‘cuz they gonna set the meal off, and wifey grabs THE ONE you were saving for LAST?!?!?! Sweet baby Jesus, I damn near flipped the table over.

            • NonyaB?

              CTFU. Does she know you still haven’t forgiven her?

              • SimplyDope

                I forgave her. And now she just takes what I offer her

                • NonyaB?

                  LMAO.

          • Diego Duarte
            • NonyaB?

              Hahaa! Love ice-cream so I endorse this.

              But yeah, how much I want might be a bite or three, a fry or five but nowhere near ¼ of your plate. Besides, if we can’t share food, we can’t share much else.

      • Linda Pritchard

        Territorial but will ease all over in my plate with a “you weren’t gonna eat that” query–as they are chewing!

    • AKA The Sauce

      Omg we doing this today…yup let’s talk about it. Like when I ask “do you want wings too” and she says “I’ll just have a salad” THEN PROCEED TO “TASTE” 5-7 wings out of my 15.

      • NonyaB?

        *Sticks hand in OG’s plate to grab an 8th wang just ’cause*

      • Brooklyn_Bruin

        My blood pressure is literally rising. I have few weaknesses, but you want to take me out of cold rationality…this is how

        • TheUnsungStoryteller

          What if it’s two wings max?

          • Brooklyn_Bruin

            If I ordered less than 20, there will be no room to spare.

            Facts, B!

            • TheUnsungStoryteller

              Wow…you have a ice cold heart.

      • JMe2

        I ask if they want some, if there is any hesitation, I order 2x the amount I would want. You can always take it home.

      • BrownBearBear

        Now, if we’re going extra petty, I’mma guess you the brotha who’s gonna judge someone on their wing preference? Flats or drumsticks?

        • AKA The Sauce

          I am….cuz Flat life!!!!!!!!!

          • Kas loves Jamaican Breakfast

            My man

          • BrownBearBear

            I play both sides. I am an equal opportunity wing eater.

          • Zil Nabu

            So then you should have no problem coming up off them drumsticks for your date.

            • AKA The Sauce

              But…why?

              • Zil Nabu

                Because you like the flats. A woman who loves drumsticks is your perfect complement.

        • Linda Pritchard

          Flats all day baybeee!

      • Lea Thrace

        BREAK UP WITH HER. SHE DOESNT LOVE YOU.

      • Catfish Jenkins

        There’s this chicken joint the wife and I go to, and I know she likes the wing (we both order 1/4 chicken white meat). So I ALWAYS give it to her. On my life, if I ever not give it to her, she gon think that I got some sidepiece, or that I don’t love her anymore.

        I think there’s something to do with feeling protected or provided for in it, I’m not sure. It’s just the natural course of life I suppose.

      • Asking_Questions

        But you knew it was coming, that’s why you order extra wings. C’mon now, this ain’t a drill. We been eating off your plate for three years and you still getting mad that you didn’t get enough food for us to both share?

    • Kas loves Jamaican Breakfast

      You are not alone

      • TheUnsungStoryteller

        Okay, MJ. *rolls eyes.

      • NonyaB?

        So you selfish like that too, Kas? Tsk, tsk.

        • Holy Room

          These dudes are trippin big time, over gotdamn fries!

          • Mr. Mooggyy
            • Holy Room

              Take your principalities to hayle.

              • Mr. Mooggyy

                I will…..With my got damm fries! LOL

          • Sigma_Since 93

            First it’s fries, then it’s your desert, then it’s the hot water, when you have an important meeting and finally the covers and bed positioning. You gotta nip this in the bud before things get worse!!!

            • Mr. Mooggyy

              Preach my brotha! Preach!

            • Holy Room

              Sig bye!!

            • TheUnsungStoryteller

              I’m done with you.

              • Sigma_Since 93

                But did I lie????

                • I can’t find no lie.

                • TheUnsungStoryteller

                  I plead the fifth.

            • NonyaB?

              CTFU. Good day, sir!

            • Lea Thrace

              you are preaching a message here sir! SALUTE!

              STOP THE ENCROACHMENT!

            • Asking_Questions

              Who hurt you!?!?!?!?

              • Sigma_Since 93

                I’m just warning folks of what is to come.

          • NonyaB?

            Okay?! All this palaver over food that will past through their bodies in less time than their resentment at sharing!

          • Kas loves Jamaican Breakfast

            What.ever!

          • No, we are tripping off the indecisiveness. It’s either yes or no, not “no but I see what you’ve got and now I want it all.” It’s foolishness.

            • Holy Room

              Dude. It is very decisive of me to want your fries.

              • No. I’m going to ask you if you want fries before I order. If you say “no” and then help yourself, then you’re indecisive because you made two contradicting decisions quickly.

                It’s black or white- fries or no fries.

                • Holy Room

                  you can go hang. Please.

                  • As long as I hang alone so I can enjoy my fries in peaceful solitude.

                    • Brooklyn_Bruin

                      Peaceful solitude. I’m done

                    • Holy Room

                      Yes,

        • TheCollinB

          What’s selfish about wanting to eat your own entire meal?

          • Holy Room

            We go together in every which way, B!

          • NonyaB?

            It’s dayum selfish because ah is right there and wanting a taste! What’s so bad in sharing a little?

            • TheCollinB

              It’s not the sharing it’s the boundary Nonya. There have to be boundaries. If we let it slide soon you’ll be trying to go hang with us at the barber shop, and no n*gga wants that.
              Take this $5, walk your pretty thick a s s (in the case of my wife) up to that register and get you some fries.

              • NonyaB?

                Nah B, the slope ain’t that slippery. I won’t follow him to the barber shop but I want to share food without borders.

                • TheCollinB

                  Your name almost perfectly describes what you are entitled to in this fry sitaution fam.

                  These fries are “none of ya’s, b”

                  • NonyaB?

                    #DisTewMurch *Opens census of sharers and non-sharers while setting up committee to study impact on The People*

                    • Kas loves Jamaican Breakfast

                      Put me down as “non”.

                    • NonyaB?

                      *Downvote*

            • Kas loves Jamaican Breakfast

              So you will have no problem with sharing your man “just a little” with another woman?

              • NonyaB?

                Hahaha, always with the jokes, Kaswell. Because food = plumbing in Kasland.

                • Kas loves Jamaican Breakfast

                  Sometimes food is better than plumbing. Shrug.

                  • NonyaB?

                    Ok, sometimes….

        • Kas loves Jamaican Breakfast

          I will happily buy my date a trough of her own fries. Don’t come for mine.

          • NonyaB?

            #ColdAzzWorld

    • My wife does this all the time because she claims fries taste better when they belong to me.

      • Brooklyn_Bruin

        Rubbing your face in it.
        Like “Whatchu gon’ do?”

      • Lea Thrace

        thats some bullsht and i believe she harbors a deep secret hatred for you. only explanation.

      • Robert Dotson

        DEAD….

      • Food that doesn’t belong to you and/or you didn’t pay for? Delicious. I like to scavenge plates. You weren’t going to eat it all anyway!

        • You know darn well any man who fills his plate is gonna eat it. Food is the wrong time to be talking about sharing stuff.

      • NonyaB?

        She’s right, though.

    • Kat

      My ex loved eating out with me. She knew she would have left overs and would get irked if I got the same thing as her. “I want something different later”….

      Ma’am. Ms. Ma’am.

      And I don’t do leftovers. A product of that green pea incident and just not liking them,

  • Mr. Mooggyy

    If “Fuck You, Bih!” had a face, this is it!

  • Brooklyn_Bruin

    With all of 45’s shenanigans and crimes against the people, I’m wondering what is it going to take for folks to say, this is a baby German dictator hypothetical?

  • AntMoOAK

    HA !!! I peeped that too. I don’t think he ever shook his hand. LOL. Represent Bruh !

  • jannah zakee

    The check is in the mail face

  • Ari

    This picture has truly made my week.

  • Courtney Wheeler
    • Sweet Ga Brown

      But when Chalky White died…

      • Courtney Wheeler

        OMG…I had all the feelz.

  • Simms~

    His face does indeed say EXACTLY what he’s thinking.

    • LaShondia Griffin

      “dis dat bullshit” face.. lmao

    • Mr. Mooggyy

      No doubt about it!

    • CParis

      He’s probably worried Trump actually wrote the check, cause you know that would bounce, then your checks start bouncing cause TrumpBux are not real currency…now you know why no one showed up for your inauguration!

  • cyanic

    He mirrors you in alternate universe kind of way.

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