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The Mythical Negrettes: 3 Types of Black Women Who Exist Online and On-Screen But Not in Real Life

She needs more people

While attempting to¹ watch “The Corner”—an award-winning 2000 HBO mini-series based off of a book that will make you hate Earth—last week, I was reminded of how much I’m bothered by Tasha Smith.

Wait, let me rephrase that: Smith herself doesn’t bother me. I’m sure she’s a lovely woman, and she looks like she probably smells like orange sherbet and Carol’s Daughter products (This is a good thing). But, every time I see her on-screen (“The Corner” included) I can’t help but get distracted by the fact that the women she usually portrays don’t f*cking exist in real life, and it completely ruins my viewing experience. Although I haven’t had the opportunity to meet each of the three billion or so women on the planet, I can assure you that none of them are as tactless, shrill, ignorant, silly, and transparently manipulative as Angela Williams (Smith’s character in Why Did I Get Married), Jennifer (Daddy’s Little Girls), or Ronnie Boice (the tactless, shrill, ignorant, silly, and transparently manipulative junkie she portrays on “The Corner”) because if they were, someone would have murdered them already.

You’d hope the utter unbelievability of Smith’s characters and any other portrayal of the ridiculously rude and emasculating woman who mistakes malignance for independence and cuntiness for character (but still has tons of friends and male suitors) was uncommon. But, sadly, it’s not. TV, the internet, and pop culture is full of all types of Mythical Negrettes—black women who seem to exist online and onscreen even though no one has ever met anyone like them in person.

Here’s a couple more

The Black Man Hating Black Woman

One of the more interesting bi-products of last month’s No Wedding, No Womb firestorm was the “mainstream” exposure it gave to a few of the hundreds of black female empowerment blogs and bloggers on the internet. I can recall at least three conversations I’ve had in the past three weeks with women who weren’t aware that blogs like What About Our Daughters even existed before they learned of them through the NWNW conversations on Twitter. But while many Sister Toldja’s exist—bloggers genuinely concerned with the mental, spiritual, emotional, and sexual health of black women—there seems to be a few using the “black female empowerment” title as a thinly veiled shield to espouse their hatred of black men.

These women are usually easy to spot. They love to use words like “divest” and they all seem to have an odd fascination with referring to “black men” as “BM’s”. But, although their presence online doesn’t bother me (they’re actually helpful if I’m having a particularly good day but am overcome with a sudden urge to be reminded of why I aint shit), I am bothered by the fact that I’ve never actually met one of these types of women in real life.

I mean, seriously, I know I can’t be the only one who’s never actually met a black woman who absolutely abhors all black men, thinks we’re the bane of all existence, and wishes to start a NPNP (no penis, no penetration) movement designed to eunuchize all black males at birth, can I? But, they exist in spades online, and like Paul Pierce’s perpetual notquitebeard, their presence remains an unsolved mystery to me.

The Thug-Loving Professional Black Chick

You’ve seen, heard, and read about this scenario a thousand times

Astronaut Girl drives to hair salon the day before appearing before top secret NASA Mission to Mars Congress subcommittee. Corner Boy notices Astronaut Girl getting out of her fully loaded Prius, and spits best Corner Boy game at Astronaut Girl. Impressed with Corner Boy’s bulging package and tired of meeting boring Astronaut dudes at Essence Festivals, Astronaut Girl grabs Corner Boy’s hand and wildly f*cks him on the hood of the Prius. This incident marks the start of a romance, as Astronaut Girl’s infatuation with Corner B0y’s swag and steelo allows him to convince her to smuggle a package of heroin on the space shuttle to Mars so Corner Boy can have a hold on the burgeoning Martian junkie market. Astronaut Girl gets caught smuggling the package, accepts a no-prison plea deal contingent on her testimony against Corner Boy, has Corner Boy’s baby, and eventually appears on Oprah explaining her love for that lifestyle and the fact that she still gets a chill downthere every time she passes a gun store

Thing is, while “the professional black woman who only has eyes for thugs” is a popular black meme and storyline, I’ve yet to actually encounter one of these women in real life. I know quite a few black female doctors, lawyers, and scientists and shit, but the closest any of them have ever come to thug lovin’ was when they had to change their panties while watching an especially angry Stringer Bell on season three of “The Wire”. I’m not saying they don’t really exist, but I’m saying they don’t really exist.

Anyway, people of VSB.com, I need you to help me out. Does anyone actually know any of these types of women in person, or do I just happen to live in the only tiny vacuum of the universe where they don’t exist?

Also, can you think of any other Mythical Negroes and Negrettes who seem to only exist online and onscreen?

¹I put “attempted to” in there because we (Lady Champ and I) were only able to make it through one episode (there are six altogether) before sending it back to NetFlix. Although “The Corner” is definitely a well made show, watching it after watching five seasons of “The Wire” is like eating a steak-um after you’ve had prime rib at Bobby Flay’s. This analogy made much more sense in my head (and was much less gay), but I think you get my point.

—-The Champ

Filed Under:
Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a contributing editor for EBONY.com. He resides in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes.

  • http://yourblogsfavoriteblog.com mthanded

    Stop that “first” BS.

  • tnt_ftw

    daaaaaamnnnnnn it!

  • D-weezy

    Do I not read good or are there only two types listed?

    • Malia

      I figured it was an inside joke that I didn’t get.

    • Malia

      I’ve refreshed and now I’m convinced Champ is just messing with my head, trying to convince me that I’m crazy. I bet the rest of you can see it.

    • Sylph

      You do realize that the first characterization that Champ mentioned are the stereotypical characters that Tasha Smith plays, right?

      *cues The More You Know theme*

      • Malia

        He should number them. It’s too late at night to be thinking.

        • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

          I’m convinced he LOVES when folks “correct” him on the number of things listed.

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            i do love it. it’s more proof that VSB is necessary.

  • http://nianaturally.blogspot.com N.I.A. naturally

    DEAD… lol.

    I used to read WAOD, but I got tired them constantly berating all male commenters. All, except the ones who agreed with everything the writer, and the majority of the women commenters, would say. They did talk about issues that weren’t being talked about by other blogs, but they were just too much.

    I agree, Angela Williams does not exist. But, I think a lot of women try to mimic her crass behavior. Those women are happily single…

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      I used to read WAOD, but I got tired them constantly berating all male commenters. All, except the ones who agreed with everything the writer, and the majority of the women commenters, would say. They did talk about issues that weren’t being talked about by other blogs, but they were just too much.

      see, i don’t think gina falls under the “black man hating black woman” category herself, but her site does seem to attract alot of women who do. which makes sense and shit, i guess.

      • Scipio Africanus

        The thing I appreciate about Gina is that she’s genuinely funny/hilarious, and that tempers the echo chamber that site’s commenters have going over there. I see her blog as a comedy blog that touches on serious-ish stuff for conversation fodder and balance, kind of like this one.

  • miss t-lee

    Your last scenario (thug loving professional) sounds like an intro to a pron movie. LoL I’ve never met any of these types you’ve listed either, and I hope I never do. Especially not any of the man hating chicks-not my idea of fun, not at all.

    • JessicaL

      My cousin was trying to preach to me about black feminism after reading the Bell Hooks book Ain’t I a Woman. I found out out it was her excuse and answer as to why she hates black men. It’s weird because she would go from “OMG, men are such whores I hate them” and then some guy would call and give her mixed signals then it was ” I don’t know if he likes me”. I think it just gave her a reason to feel better about her own insecurities.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      Your last scenario (thug loving professional) sounds like an intro to a pron movie.

      you’re right. it’s actually from a west coast productions series called astronaut booty

      • Golden_Standard

        I am almost the thug-loving professional woman. See, I grew up in the hood, hav family members with questionable backgrounds (the vast majority of them actually–men and women). I dated my share of thugs in high school, college, and one in professional school. Nonetheless, the one from H.S. gradually morphed into a thug…well he wasn’t actually a “thug” he just got into some tough situations and had to make some tough decisions; the one in college was also a college student and a member of a well respected fraternity, though he ended up getting put out of school my junior year; the one from professional school was a thug when I met him (Jordans, old school pimped out Chevy and all) but I realzied I had to let him go when he picked me up in said pimp car, turned up the sound system and I wanted to melt in my seat for fear that one of my professional collagues would see me and think differently about me….and he later caught a charge for unpaid child support & some mo shit, lol. But, I have since reformed myself and don’t give these guys the time of day. Not because their around the way personality ceases to appeal to me (like I said, most of the men in my life (dad, brother, cousins, uncles, etc are reformed around the way guys…all own their own businesses now)), it’s just because I can’t risk all that I’ve worked for; God has blessed me too much. Now, if I come accross a Jay-Z, used to be down but now I’m legit….

        • Golden_Standard

          By the way, I’ve NEVER been a “down a** chick” either and have NEVER liked or loved one enough to be a thug with them. You on your own bruh, lol

          • http://www.legallysane1.blogspot.com Tempest

            lmao!! @golden, my sentiments exactly!!

  • tnt_ftw

    ok now that ive read the article, i can leave a topical comment. i have met more than my fair share of angela williams’ and yes they are as ignorant, loud, and brash as her character.

    interesting tid bit. did you know that she is a twin?

    • Tenchi

      Sweet merciful Krishna…TWO of them?!!!

    • Jhane Sez

      “i have met more than my fair share of angela williams’ and yes they are as ignorant, loud, and brash as her character.”

      co-sign tnt_ftw… and I would also like to offer some insight into why Champ may not know these chicks in real life.

      Ms. Tactless, shrill, ignorant, silly, and transparently manipulative.

      This chick thrives on the type of drama that results in headlines and jail time.

      She considers herself an empowered sista and also has a tramp stamp that reads “mind yo bizness b*tch”

      You probably haven’t met her because you don’t check tramps, abuse substances, and/or have crazy fat pockets.

      Ms. Black Man Hating Black Woman

      You probably don’t know this chick in real life because she is invisible to most vsb’s.

      Social Darwinism hasn’t been kind to this sista… she’s quite often smart and does well in school, but is socially awkward and frequently aesthetically challenged.

      Not only aren’t vsb’s not checkin’ for her… they don’t know she is alive.

      These realities have made her REALLY bitter towards everyone who has the unfair advantage of social access but especially vsb’s.

      Her triumph comes when she discovers online dating in her 30’s and meets equally yolked white man, and she doesn’t even care that he makes less money because he is white… so booyah b*tches.

      So why is she still pissed… cause brothas ain’t mad about her dating a white guy.

      She’s still invisible.

      Ms.Thug-Loving Professional Black Chick

      You only think you don’t know her, but I bet you do.

      You probably saw her with dude and just assumed that he was bothering her.

      She keeps her thug life on the deep down low cause that’s half the fun… and what self-respecting sista wants to admit that she’s shallow like a dude only blinded by abs, d*ck and a jailhouse tattoo fetish.

      She has only 1 or 2 real close girls that know about her and Junebug… and they ain’t really encouraging her to quit because the sex stories are good.

      She will never be seen in real public with him, so you ain’t gotta worry about him coming to game night ~JS

      • Neighborhood Hussy

        So thoughtfully articulated, particularly for 5:56 AM. You so hit that ish on the head. I would like to add to the Professional Woman/Thug connection. You see him daily driving her car and assume that it is her teenage son or nephew and not the Thug Tender she is sponsoring.

      • JessicaL

        Lmao@ Junebug! You’ve described my cousin to the tee with the Ms. Black man hater. She’s jealous of her friends that are prettier than her. I can’t go anywhere with her anymore because she’s insecure enough to get mad at me when a guy looks my way and not hers.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        “You probably don’t know this chick in real life because she is invisible to most vsb’s.

        Social Darwinism hasn’t been kind to this sista… she’s quite often smart and does well in school, but is socially awkward and frequently aesthetically challenged.

        Not only aren’t vsb’s not checkin’ for her… they don’t know she is alive.

        These realities have made her REALLY bitter towards everyone who has the unfair advantage of social access but especially vsb’s.”

        i think you make a valid point. plus, it would stand to reason that if these types of women did exist, they wouldn’t travel in the same circles i do. black man hating black women probably aren’t going to be gchatting it up all day with black men, and the thug loving black woman probably aint going be attending any game nights filled with brothers with bachelors (and more).

        • tnt_ftw

          WAIT. hold the presses, how *does* one randomly gchat it up with vsb’s? i got ghat too yknow!

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            “WAIT. hold the presses, how *does* one randomly gchat it up with vsb’s? i got ghat too yknow!”

            just goggle “deez’ and you’ll find out

      • V Renee

        @ Jhane Sez – yup yup! I know or have seen all 3 types of these women. *whispering* – Ms.Thug-Loving Professional Black Chick just may be a close friend of mine. Lol

      • http://twitter.com/s0_flyy So Flyy

        Her triumph comes when she discovers online dating in her 30’s and meets equally yolked white man, and she doesn’t even care that he makes less money because he is white… so booyah b*tches.

        So why is she still pissed… cause brothas ain’t mad about her dating a white guy.

        She’s still invisible.

        This. LOL! I know this girl…

        • http://www.grownfolkstalking.wordpress.com jai de vivre

          LOL, I know this girl, too! We’re not quite in our 30s yet, but I had already called it. I see your future…

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      interesting tid bit. did you know that she is a twin?

      yeah. i learned that after going to her wiki page. she also apparently was an addict when she was younger. maybe that how she was able to be so convincing on “the corner”

    • Mo-VSS

      I remarked that I didn’t know anyone like the Tasha Smith character “Angela” but then my sister was like, “uhm…yes you do. Our cousin Michelle” and then it all made sense.

      She has cussed her man out in public, gotten drunk and showed out more times than a lil bit on him, emasculated him in front of the kids, his momma, his BM and anyone in the greater northern Ohio area.

      And she seriously wonders why he won’t marry her….my question is more “why is he still with her?” But some men like that type of crazy I guess….*kanye shrug

  • http://www.threewaystotakeit.com Slim Jackson

    I don’t have a witty term for them yet, but how about the dudes in the black romance movies with flawless appearances that say some of the most gushy lines in history to women and then actually stick around after they beat? You know who I’m talking about. The guys in movies that eff it up for those of us existing in reality.lol.

    • coldsweat3

      LOL Yo, even in white stories that ish is over the top. Dudes are not doing most of these things and the ones I know that do CHEAT LIKE CRAZY. They do that ish so females dont suspect anything.

    • Yonnie 3000

      I think the “witty” term that you’re looking for has already been coined by Aaron McGruder in the Tyler Perry episode of The Boondocks: The -Shirtless-Light-skinned-Gardner-Who-Just-Got-Outta-Jail-Who-Loves-Him-Some-Jesus aka Shemar Moore.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      I don’t have a witty term for them yet, but how about the dudes in the black romance movies with flawless appearances that say some of the most gushy lines in history to women and then actually stick around after they beat?

      i call these cats “Kodjoes”. speaking of boris, i know alot of women think he’s swoon worthy, but am i the only one who’s noticed his odd talent of making movies and television shows he’s starring in boring as f*ck? he’s like a one man excitement vacuum, the black hole of boringness.

      • WIP

        “but am i the only one who’s noticed his odd talent of making movies and television shows he’s starring in boring as f*ck?”

        That’s because they let him talk. They need to just grease him up, take his shirt off, and use him as a prop.

        • http://twitter.com/s0_flyy So Flyy

          Speaking of which, he just had an interview w/ AOL Blackvoices saying that he’s tired of being viewed as a chex symbol ONLY…

          http://missjia.com/recognize-boris-kodjoes-acting-sexy.html

          Holla at that. LOL.

        • http://thatswhatgemsaid.wordpress.com Gem of the Ocean

          co-MFin-sign!

      • V Renee

        i know alot of women think he’s swoon worthy .

        I do not think he’s swoon worthy in the least bit. Neither is Shemar Moore. I honestly think that if they were standing buck naked in front of me, I would pass.

        • Phidelity15

          Boris is definitely wack in the acting department and I’d never think I’d say this but… Shemar Moore is good eye candy and he does a good job acting every Wednesday night. (Criminal Minds is my fav show). I think if he stays away from TP movies, he will actually get better.

          • UrbanDismay

            @ Phildelity15

            I love Criminal Minds as well. However, I can take or leave Derek Morgan. And seeing how Shemar comes from the world of soap, TP movies should be perfect for him.

        • UrbanDismay

          There is something about Shemar Moore that keeps me from liking him. I think it’s the eyebrows.

          And I personally don’t know any other VSS that like him either.

          • QueenT

            I love Shemar Moore! I’ve been on him since Y&R!

        • http://twitter.com/thepopculturist thepopculturist (aka BKSweetheart)

          Blasphemy! (re: Boris, not Shemar)

          • iRocksox91

            Blasphemy! (re: Boris, not Shemar)

            Tell me why I am just realizing they are not the same person?

        • Dee

          did shemar ever get his teeth fixed?

        • Tenchi

          Both Boris and Shemar~brows = Sahara Desert (IMHO)…
          I can’t with the aquiline nose and the “meant to be blue steel” gaze that ends up resembling a mentally challenged glare.

          • tnt_ftw

            omgosh i am sitting here cackling like a mad woman at ALL OF THIS! but “meant to be blue steel” did.me.in. i went from that silent holding it in laugh to all out chortling uncontrollably

      • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

        Boris is definitely of the “better to just look at” variety, no doubt. Shemar Moore? Eh…

      • Cali

        Boris is nice to look @, but has ZERO range as an “actor” – he’s boring b/c he’s just getting the lines out, he’s not interesting at all.

        & Shemar is gross – put a bag on that head & we can talk! LOL

      • WhenKeepingItRealGoesWrong

        CHAMP: You are an amazing writer. You can’t be messing up like this…”alot”–> “a lot”

        And just so I didn’t come up here to f*ck with your grammar, I’ll make a comment: I actually do know an Angela Williams but that was at the high school I went to where I had to switch districts to get some relief from the “Only Black Girl In Class” school I would’ve been filtered into after 8 years of “Do you really love fried chicken?” questions. I say that to say, at my new ethnically diverse school there were Angela Williamses aplenty, but that all ended when I entered my honors and AP courses and, subsequently, college. Don’t get me started on the master’s I’m working on now…

        Point being, and someone said this, there are certainly Angela Williamses though Perry def exaggerates her “cuntiness” (I’llbeusingthatthanks) but it makes sense that once you reach a certain level of academic achievement…they just don’t.

        Another Mythical Negro: Tyler Perry in his role as a straight black man in WDIGMT.

      • Treezy F. Baby

        Boris Kudjoe looks like he missed the Starship Enterprise to me. I’ve NEVER found him attractive.

    • http://twitter.com/SmartFoxGirl SmartFoxGirl

      Do NOT ruin this dream Slim. They exist. I believe. I believe. If not, I will force him. Anywho, BORIS was made for black women and is so swoon worthy that I would drink his bath water, get a protein facial, and let him put it a.n.y.w.h.e.r.e.! I love the family oriented black man who can look strong and sexy at the same time.

      • WIP

        “Do NOT ruin this dream Slim. They exist. I believe. I believe.”
        Maybe if we all concentrate, really hard at the same time, they will appear!

  • B. Brown

    Don’t know any of the first type, but I’ve seen a few of the second type. Most of the Astronaut Girls I’ve seen, though; I saw in high school and undergrad. I knew of a couple in grad school, but most of them wanted a man on a similar track to their own.

    You know who I’ve never met? I’ve never met or seen the sister with 50-11 (I’ve always wanted to say that…at least ever since Get Low came out) kids who looks like the proverbial hot mess. At least not in real-life: Maury doesn’t count.

    I’ve never met any of those “welfare queens” Ronald Reagan talked so much about. Every woman I know, even those who have received some type of assistance, has always been one to do for self.

    That’s really about it…every other PC/PG category I can think of has at least one exception.

    • coldsweat3

      really you have never met a chick from “Whose Daddy is it?” Come on down south and you can meet some, hell plenty. They exist.Trust

      • B. Brown

        I live in Florida, so I’m not sure how much further south I can go. They seem to exist (I have heard about them), but I’ve never seen any. Maybe I’m just in the wrong – or right – spots.

        • JessicaL

          You live in Florida and you’ve never seen them? Come to the more country areas like northern Florida. They’re everywhere.

        • simplysope

          Please feel free to mosey on down to the H. One of my favorite games to play when I see a woman with 5 children and only 2 look related is, “I wonder what the dads look like”. I award myself bonus points if she isn’t wearing a bra, and double bonus points if her bitties touch her bellybutton. So that welfare queen thing is super real. Although all the single mothers I know personally are getting it, for themselves and their kids.

        • PoliBohoGlam is whippin’ my hair like Willow on my Birthday!

          Um, I live in Florida, and see too many. I don’t know them personally. I just “see” them.

          Maybe I need to be checking out the spots that YOU’RE in.

    • sanen85

      I know quite a few of both (and am sad to say I’m related to someone who falls a bit into both categories). A coworker has a foster child whose mom is pregnant with her 9th child, all in the state’s care. She’s the type they make movies about.

      • Tenchi

        I used to work in Social Services. They exist and STAY in the club looking for the next victim…
        *excutes flawless dismount from soapbox*

    • Yonnie 3000

      As much as I don’t wanna co-sign anything Reagan ever said, I can attest to this woman’s existence. I rent to Section 8 renters in Atlanta. I’m talking about 30 y/o grandmothers.

      • B. Brown

        I probably taught a few children who were in such situations when I was in the A, but I never met too many parents (the ones I met didn’t seem to fit the description).

      • Scipio Africanus

        “I’m talking about 30 y/o grandmothers.”

        YOU LIE!!!

        Okay, maybe you’re telling the truth. If so, d@mn.

    • Deeds

      I too have meet the woman with 50-11 kids, related to one or two of them.

    • WIP

      “I’ve never met or seen the sister with 50-11 (I’ve always wanted to say that…at least ever since Get Low came out) kids who looks like the proverbial hot mess. At least not in real-life: Maury doesn’t count.

      I’ve never met any of those “welfare queens” Ronald Reagan talked so much about. Every woman I know, even those who have received some type of assistance, has always been one to do for self.”

      I know her: 5 kids, perpetual welfare recipient, sells food stamps and tricks, does hair and takes old men’s social security checks on the side. She exists!

  • tnt_ftw

    i have all of these stereotypes in my family (i have a VERY large family) also i am the astronaut girl, cept i gots no truck with corner boys…:screwface:

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      huh?

      • tnt_ftw

        i have over 100 immediate relatives (cousins, aunts, uncles, etc). every black stereotype there is, exists in my family.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          i was “huhing” about the “cept i gots no truck with corner boys…:screwface:” part

          • Ivy St.

            LOL! Yeah, this part confused me too!

          • tnt_ftw

            colloquialism meaning i dont have any dealings with em

  • http://twitter.com/TheLetterApril Letter A

    There are definitely three women here, they’re just not all bold. These would be the “tactless, shrill, ignorant, silly, and transparently manipulative” black woman, the “Black Man Hating” black woman, and the “Thug-Loving Professional” black chick. I can identify all but the Black Man Hating variety in real life. Sadly, I can point out at least two on my facebook friends list…

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      Sadly, I can point out at least two on my facebook friends list…

      please do. i’m going to have to start asking people to treat the mythical negrettes like the lochness monster or bigfoot. i’m not going to believe they exist unless you can show me a polaroid.

      • V Renee

        Not sure how you’ll be able to tell from a polaroid. In fact seeing a polaroid just makes me sing:

        ?? Hey Ya!!Don’t want to meet your daddy,
        Just want you in my Caddy.
        Don’t want to meet your momma,
        Just want to make you cumma.
        I’m just being honest.??

        • http://twitter.com/SmartFoxGirl SmartFoxGirl

          DEAD lmao from da grave