I have a confession. I like the movie The Vow. I’ve watched it a million times via cable movie channels. Part of my like of it is from the soundtrack. I’m one of those folks who latches onto the movie playing in the background. That can make or break a movie for me. Picking the right music makes all of the difference.
Think (if you’ve seen it) the first episode of The Game this season and the closing music while Derwin was leaving the show forever as Miguel’s “Don’t Look Back” played. While the song has nothing to do with parting ways – it’s actually a song telling a woman to leave and not look back if her man doesn’t make it home because he’s outchea cheating – it sounded great in that scene and brought it all together. For a moment, I felt like they got it right. For a moment.
Back to The Vow. You know the story. Car accident. Wife loses memory. Can’t remember husband. He tries to win her back. He loses. Until he wins. The end. Nothing remarkable there.
But what does stand out to me are two sets of quotes about moments of impact:
My theory is about moments, moments of impact. My theory is that these moments of impact, these flashes of high intensity that completely turn our lives upside down actually end up defining who we are. The thing is each one of us is the sum total of every moment that we’ve ever experienced with all the people we’ve ever known. And it’s these moments that become our history. Like our own personal greatest hits of memories that we play and replay in our minds over and over again.
The moment of impact. The moment of impact provides potential for change. It has ripple effects far beyond what we can predict. Sending some particles crashing together. Making them closer than before, while sending others spinning off into great ventures. Landing them where you’ve never thought you’d find them. That’s the thing about moments like these. You can’t, no matter how hard you try, control how it’s gonna affect you. You just gotta let the colliding parts go where they may. And wait. For the next collision.
If we are to view life as one big set of collisions inspiring a million tiny changes and every so often monumental, epic change, then all of life is about the crash. The moment you meet that woman who inspires you to become somebody you didn’t even know you could be. Or that man who makes you realize that it’s okay to trust. The person who lets you take off your cool. But Newton’s Third Law of Motion states that for every action is an equal opposite reaction. Now technically its supposed to be to the actual forces colliding – kind of like Iyanla and DMX – but living within the spirit of the law, you’re meeting you husband means that collision possibly sent somebody waiting in the wings on the love they feel to be returned off into a tailspin they don’t even know exists. They’re the train heading towards the blown bridge. And they won’t know until its too late.
Well the interesting part of these collisions is that from the ashes often arises a fire-y bird. I shall call it a Phoenix. I’ve seen change have various affects on people. But the most common – though often ill-inspired – is the change that pushes somebody towards new heights. I’ve seen a woman who lost her man because he cheated become the beauty queen we all saw. Not to say she went out and got him back or immediately got another man, but I witnessed her become free and beautiful in her own existence, set adrift on memories bliss while realizing that new memories are but a short walk on the sidewalk.
I’ve seen some of my best friends face adversity after experiencing some huge loss and restructuring their life to never lose that way again, sometimes for better, sometimes for the worse.
I’ve personally altered my mentality after going through, at the time, what would be the most significant collision I’d ever experienced.
But these collisions were necessary to help shape the personal narrative of all involved. Some people need change to grow. I remember years ago my daughter’s mother suggesting that I needed to be fired from my job in order to realize my full potential. She felt as if I’ve been to able to rely on stability to make it through life and the resulting contentment stopped me from truly becoming who she felt I could be. By the way, there is no force stronger than a supportive woman. I truly believe this. A woman who believes in you enough to think you need to LOSE a job to become a great? But has no doubt in your ability to dust yourself off? I’m not sure I ever said thank you for that. I probably should.
Either way, moments of impact that change your life. I look forward to those. Nearly every day I wake up I realize that something could change my life that day, good or bad. I’ve prepared myself if its my time to go. Seriously. But I also know that the possibility for greatness is right around the corner. I just need to find the right set of buildings. But it’s there. The person I’ll bump into. The idea I’ll happen upon. The impact that’s waiting on me to show up so the energy can finally be woman-thou-art-loosed.
I’ve experienced some already. But there’s more.
What about you? Have you experienced that person, place or thing that altered your world? Has there been any collision that sent you into the great abyss of greatness?
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. IMPACTION JACKSON aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3