Theory & Essay

the least

approximately two or so years ago, while bored and aimlessly late night searching for girls gone wild informercials channel surfing, i came across a roundtable of hip-hop heads on mtv28 discussing the “state of hip-hop” and reflecting on the year’s big events. when the year’s biggest event (the ending of the nas/jay-z cold war and subsequent merger) was brought up, each of the dozen or so people at the roundtable nodded their heads in joyous approval and spoke about how great it was that these two iconic figures finally decided to make peace and music with each other.

well, each of the dozen…except one.

as soon as the mention of this peacemaking was brought up, the camera panned to this one person, who was making a face like he was being forced to suck on a lemon stuck between her…

..legs. a look of sheer disdain and disgust and hate that these two grown men had the nerve to stop beefing, and that mtv had the audacity to laud this as a good thing.

when the moderator finally asked this one person what the hell was wrong with him, this one person remarked (**paraphrasing**)

“i’m sayin though, b. ya’ll n*ggas acting like n*ggas in the street care about what these old ass n*ggas do, b. word is bond, i gots my ear to the streets, b…i talk to them young n*ggas everyday, and they aint worried about no aarp-ass n*ggas squashing beef. naw, man. i make my music for the 14 year olds that wanna hear about my life…b*tches and hoes and weed and killing n*ggas. the 14 year olds in the street do wanna hear about no damn peace, b.”

when you combine the amount of sheer, unadulteratedly jubilant ignorance this person happliy exhibits, plus the fact that he’s helped to perpetuate a horrendous trend (young african-american men dressing like jamaican dancehall artists) despite his incessant clowning of “f*gg*t ass rappers with tight jeans” (read: kanye), plus the fact that he’s a founding member of the most aggressively ignorant crew in the history of hip-hop, plus his resonate and undoubtable influence and appeal with many young-minded idiots people, is the reason why…

…jim jones is my least favorite person in america, and the bane of vsb.com’s existance.

dishonorable mention: owens, terrell. kilpatrick, kwame. the chubby snizzle who lives on the bottom floor of my building who always makes a big fuss about moving away from the door when she’s out there blocking the entrance and smoking cigarettes.

so, dyspeptic readers of vsb.com, who is your least favorite person in america right now, and why?

—the champ

Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a contributing editor for EBONY.com. He lives in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes. Reach him at damon@verysmartbrothas.com. Or don't.

Previously

the black pass

  • http://www.igville.blogspot.com V.E.G.

    I have a couple.

    1. The head of an organization I used to work at. Dude owes me $9660. It’s been months since I quit; I had to file a claim with the Dept. of Labor. I won. But he’s not responding to their requests to pay up. Bastard.

    2. This chick who works at the reggae club I frequent. I dislike her just cuz.

    • http://myspace.com/thomasforbes Monk

      I’m with you on this V.E.G..

      “I feel like it’s still n*ggas that owe me checks / I feel like it’s still bytches who owe me sex” – Kanyeezy

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        is there gonna be a point five years from now where there’s a kanye quote for every situation, akin to jay-z quotes today?

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          yeah, no. as big a kanye fan as i am, i really dont think that’s going to happen.

          • Lolita

            I actually think that might happen. Anybody who thinks they should/would be featured in the Bible will be quoted for years to come.

          • Lolita

            I actually think that might happen. Anybody who thinks they should/would be featured in the Bible will be quoted for years to come.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          yeah, no. as big a kanye fan as i am, i really dont think that’s going to happen.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        is there gonna be a point five years from now where there’s a kanye quote for every situation, akin to jay-z quotes today?

    • http://myspace.com/thomasforbes Monk

      I’m with you on this V.E.G..

      “I feel like it’s still n*ggas that owe me checks / I feel like it’s still bytches who owe me sex” – Kanyeezy

  • http://www.igville.blogspot.com V.E.G.

    I have a couple.

    1. The head of an organization I used to work at. Dude owes me $9660. It’s been months since I quit; I had to file a claim with the Dept. of Labor. I won. But he’s not responding to their requests to pay up. Bastard.

    2. This chick who works at the reggae club I frequent. I dislike her just cuz.

  • http://www.igville.blogspot.com V.E.G.

    And you, Champ. Cuz you promised to guest blog for Luvvie today and she ain’t heard from you.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      check your email

      • http://www.igville.blogspot.com V.E.G.

        *erases Champ from list*

        Luvvie, Kindred and I were gonna come looking for you…

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          “Luvvie, Kindred and I were gonna come looking for you…”

          …and??

          • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

            We were just going to find you, point you out, and… yeah thats about it.

            But we love you now, Champ!!

          • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

            We were just going to find you, point you out, and… yeah thats about it.

            But we love you now, Champ!!

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          “Luvvie, Kindred and I were gonna come looking for you…”

          …and??

      • http://www.igville.blogspot.com V.E.G.

        *erases Champ from list*

        Luvvie, Kindred and I were gonna come looking for you…

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      check your email

  • http://www.igville.blogspot.com V.E.G.

    And you, Champ. Cuz you promised to guest blog for Luvvie today and she ain’t heard from you.

  • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

    oh, so THATS what the infamous Jim Jones looks like! I’d never seen him before…

    um…least favorite person? I’ll have to think on that one.

    • http://www.myspace.com/circa1908 Intellectual Hedonist

      for some reason I always imagined Jim Jones to look like the Grinch (of the Grinch that stole Christmas fame)…I disliked him cause The Champ said it was the right thing to do… maybe I should get more people.

      **shrugging shoulders***

      I’ll be back

      • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

        im in the same boat….but i imagined he looked like a a swirling vortex of evil and chicken bones…but the champ hasnt steered me wrong yet.

        • http://www.igville.blogspot.com V.E.G.

          vortex of evil and chicken bones????

          _____________________________

        • http://www.igville.blogspot.com V.E.G.

          vortex of evil and chicken bones????

          _____________________________

      • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

        im in the same boat….but i imagined he looked like a a swirling vortex of evil and chicken bones…but the champ hasnt steered me wrong yet.

      • SouthernGirl

        “maybe I should get more people. ”

        not really. lol. i’ll be your more people. you ain’t missing much by disliking jim jones on GP.

      • SouthernGirl

        “maybe I should get more people. ”

        not really. lol. i’ll be your more people. you ain’t missing much by disliking jim jones on GP.

    • http://www.myspace.com/circa1908 Intellectual Hedonist

      for some reason I always imagined Jim Jones to look like the Grinch (of the Grinch that stole Christmas fame)…I disliked him cause The Champ said it was the right thing to do… maybe I should get more people.

      **shrugging shoulders***

      I’ll be back

    • miss t-lee

      “oh, so THATS what the infamous Jim Jones looks like! I’d never seen him before…”

      Seriously? wow. I thought Champ was the only one in a cave.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        ““oh, so THATS what the infamous Jim Jones looks like! I’d never seen him before…”

        Seriously? wow. I thought Champ was the only one in a cave.”

        burn!

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        ““oh, so THATS what the infamous Jim Jones looks like! I’d never seen him before…”

        Seriously? wow. I thought Champ was the only one in a cave.”

        burn!

      • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

        Treated!!

        • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

          lmao!

        • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

          lmao!

      • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

        Treated!!

    • miss t-lee

      “oh, so THATS what the infamous Jim Jones looks like! I’d never seen him before…”

      Seriously? wow. I thought Champ was the only one in a cave.

    • young

      “oh, so THATS what the infamous Jim Jones looks like! I’d never seen him before…”

      you’ve seen him before. he has many disguises…. kinda like the devil.

      my name is young…. and i approve this message

    • young

      “oh, so THATS what the infamous Jim Jones looks like! I’d never seen him before…”

      you’ve seen him before. he has many disguises…. kinda like the devil.

      my name is young…. and i approve this message

  • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

    oh, so THATS what the infamous Jim Jones looks like! I’d never seen him before…

    um…least favorite person? I’ll have to think on that one.

  • http://www.gettogetha.com Get Togetha

    Palin! She has got to be the most insinuatingly nauseating Middle American f*cktard to ever rome planet earth!

    That is all.

    • http://insidethemindofadeviant.wordpress.com Deviant

      Palin = Peggy Hill

      • miss t-lee

        TMZ made a side by side by Palin and Peggy…I loved it.
        MIddle America?

      • miss t-lee

        TMZ made a side by side by Palin and Peggy…I loved it.
        MIddle America?

      • V Renee

        McCain = Cotton Hill

        • miss t-lee

          haha!!!

        • miss t-lee

          haha!!!

        • SouthernCharm

          McCain = Cotton Hill

          LOL… He already called Obama, “That One.” I can see him referring to Michelle directly as, “That One’s wife.”

        • SouthernCharm

          McCain = Cotton Hill

          LOL… He already called Obama, “That One.” I can see him referring to Michelle directly as, “That One’s wife.”

      • V Renee

        McCain = Cotton Hill

    • http://insidethemindofadeviant.wordpress.com Deviant

      Palin = Peggy Hill

    • http://www.sheliagoss.com/blog Shelia

      I have to agree. I can’t see how she lets some of the hate come from her mouth.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        “I can’t see how she lets some of the hate come from her mouth.”

        this is exactly how i feel about the comeback girl

        wait…where’s the comeback girl??

        • V Renee

          Speaking of missing people, where has Shay d Lady been????

          I’ve seen Comeback out in the blogworld…..covering people with her wet heavy blankey, one blog at a time.

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            I’ve seen Comeback out in the blogworld…..covering people with her wet heavy blankey, one blog at a time.

            good. i was hoping she didnt accidentally drown herself with it or something.

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            I’ve seen Comeback out in the blogworld…..covering people with her wet heavy blankey, one blog at a time.

            good. i was hoping she didnt accidentally drown herself with it or something.

          • http://www.thecomebackgirl.com The Comeback Girl

            im here you guys. And I SO WISH YOU WOULD NOT CALL MY “BLANKETS” …BLANKETS.

            they are quilts, shams, and throughs-and an occassional dust ruffle. lightly scented with lavender. fresh out the washer on high spin, ok.

          • http://www.thecomebackgirl.com The Comeback Girl

            im here you guys. And I SO WISH YOU WOULD NOT CALL MY “BLANKETS” …BLANKETS.

            they are quilts, shams, and throughs-and an occassional dust ruffle. lightly scented with lavender. fresh out the washer on high spin, ok.

          • http://www.thecomebackgirl.com The Comeback Girl

            “wet heavy blankey, one blog at a time”

            “I’ve seen Comeback out in the blogworld…..covering people with her wet heavy blankey, one blog at a time.”

            wtf??? lol i never do this.

            • V Renee

              I know, but it was funny to type :)

              • http://www.thecomebackgirl.com The Comeback Girl

                “I know”

                but i DO do this. i was just being ironic with my dust ruffle.

              • http://www.thecomebackgirl.com The Comeback Girl

                “I know”

                but i DO do this. i was just being ironic with my dust ruffle.

            • V Renee

              I know, but it was funny to type :)

          • http://www.thecomebackgirl.com The Comeback Girl

            “wet heavy blankey, one blog at a time”

            “I’ve seen Comeback out in the blogworld…..covering people with her wet heavy blankey, one blog at a time.”

            wtf??? lol i never do this.

        • V Renee

          Speaking of missing people, where has Shay d Lady been????

          I’ve seen Comeback out in the blogworld…..covering people with her wet heavy blankey, one blog at a time.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        “I can’t see how she lets some of the hate come from her mouth.”

        this is exactly how i feel about the comeback girl

        wait…where’s the comeback girl??

    • http://www.sheliagoss.com/blog Shelia

      I have to agree. I can’t see how she lets some of the hate come from her mouth.

    • http://www.MrSwagger.com J.M.

      Yes, I was reading this waiting for someone to say Palin.

      I hate her cause if McCain drops dead, she would be President (this is all if McCain wins) and we can’t have that.

      • SouthernGirl

        i swear ya’ll might have to permanently put me on the sick and shut in list if this man wins.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          i swear ya’ll might have to permanently put me on the sick and shut in list if this man wins.

          ive wondered what the backlash in the black community would be if obama lost…or won, lol. i forgot which comedian joked about how the day after the election would become an immediate black holiday, bigger than kwanzaa.

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

            wouldn’t take too much to be bigger than kwanzaa. i know a solid 1 person who actually celebrates kwanzaa. interestingly, she told me i was less black for not celebrating it. i told her she was less Black for marrying a white dude.

            i won.

            • miss t-lee

              *giggling* at this whole comment.
              At least you know 1 more person than I do who celebrates Kwanzaa.

              • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

                same here! i wish somebody would tell me i was less black for not celebrating kwanzaa…

              • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

                same here! i wish somebody would tell me i was less black for not celebrating kwanzaa…

            • miss t-lee

              *giggling* at this whole comment.
              At least you know 1 more person than I do who celebrates Kwanzaa.

            • Intellectual Hedonist

              I want to know why you and Champ aint ever been in the corner?

              • SouthernGirl

                good question and sh!t. lol.

              • SouthernGirl

                good question and sh!t. lol.

            • Intellectual Hedonist

              I want to know why you and Champ aint ever been in the corner?

            • http://lifeinthemiddlelane.wordpress.com Philosopher Queen

              I should probably stop reading this post, since there can’t possibly be a comment funnier than this…..but I’m not.

            • http://lifeinthemiddlelane.wordpress.com Philosopher Queen

              I should probably stop reading this post, since there can’t possibly be a comment funnier than this…..but I’m not.

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

            wouldn’t take too much to be bigger than kwanzaa. i know a solid 1 person who actually celebrates kwanzaa. interestingly, she told me i was less black for not celebrating it. i told her she was less Black for marrying a white dude.

            i won.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          i swear ya’ll might have to permanently put me on the sick and shut in list if this man wins.

          ive wondered what the backlash in the black community would be if obama lost…or won, lol. i forgot which comedian joked about how the day after the election would become an immediate black holiday, bigger than kwanzaa.

      • SouthernGirl

        i swear ya’ll might have to permanently put me on the sick and shut in list if this man wins.

    • http://www.MrSwagger.com J.M.

      Yes, I was reading this waiting for someone to say Palin.

      I hate her cause if McCain drops dead, she would be President (this is all if McCain wins) and we can’t have that.

  • http://www.gettogetha.com Get Togetha

    Palin! She has got to be the most insinuatingly nauseating Middle American f*cktard to ever rome planet earth!

    That is all.

  • http://www.gettogetha.com Get Togetha

    My apologies for cussing.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      lol…we forgive you and sh*t.

      i dont think ive ever had someone apologize to me for cussing. well, other than one of my nieces

      • miss t-lee

        We haven’t seen CG in a couple of days…I miss her.

      • miss t-lee

        We haven’t seen CG in a couple of days…I miss her.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      lol…we forgive you and sh*t.

      i dont think ive ever had someone apologize to me for cussing. well, other than one of my nieces

  • http://www.gettogetha.com Get Togetha

    My apologies for cussing.

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