The Increasingly Inane And Problematic Obsession With Ayesha Curry, Explained » VSB

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The Increasingly Inane And Problematic Obsession With Ayesha Curry, Explained

Who is Ayesha Curry?

Ayesha Curry is the wife of superstar point guard Stephen Curry.

Ok, so she’s the wife of a popular NBA player. But that doesn’t explain why her name is the top trending topic today. I’m sure she’s a lovely woman, but there has to be something else, right?

Yes! There definitely is something else. There are a shitload of something elses. This time last year, Ayesha was arguably the 6th most famous member of the Curry family, behind Steph, her daughter Riley (last year’s sports media darling), her father-in-law Dell (a former NBA player), her brother-in-law Seth (a current NBA player), and even her mother-in-law Sonya — who received quite a bit of fans during Steph’s college career during her stint as “The Hottest March Madness Mom Of All-Time.” Shit, even Panda Express Curry Tofu Fried Rice was more popular than Ayesha.

To be clear, none of this is meant to be shade. She just was not in pop culture’s general consciousness then. She was just known as the cute young mom who made YouTube videos; another member of the impossibly (and annoyingly) perfect Curry family.

But then in December, she tweeted something about how she chooses to dress versus how, um, “other” women choose to dress:

And these tweets served as the fuel for A Very Important Internet Conversation About Gender Roles And Slut Shaming that quickly devolved into a internet battle royale. Bones were shattered, lives were lost, and fuckboys were exposed.

So, what exactly was the problem with what she said? Why were people so upset?

Although Curry’s tweets may have seemed like the innocent Saturday evening words of a wealthy Bay Area housewife expressing her thoughts about the Talbots spring collection, they were kinda sorta thinly veiled shots at women who dress more provocativelyLike, if I walked up into a hospital and said “Everyone’s into being sick here, huh? Well, personally I like to stay virus-free” it would be considered a shot at sick people. Same thing.

That was a terrible analogy.

I know. But you get my point. Anyway, Curry’s tweet started a relatively sane — at least by internet standards — debate about whether her tweets were subtle shots (they were), if there’s anything wrong with her deciding to be a housewife (there isn’t), and if slut-shaming was a bad thing (it is). But then “Nuance-Less Twitter” — which is primarily made up of the cousins whose Facebook friend requests you ignore — got a hold of this conversation, and made Curry their muse for their ongoing battle against the evil of feminism. And logic.

How are men supposed to find a wife these days” they’d say “if upstanding females like Ayesha Curry get less respect than thots?

And then, over the next few months, Ayesha Curry became a perfect woman proxy; the best example of the type of (presumably) virtuous and (presumably) virginal woman that 1) every woman should aspire to be and 2) exists as a perfect counterpoint or contrast to any woman deemed unvirtuous and thotnificent.

And of course, while University of Phoenix Twitter professed their love and appreciation for Ayesha and “women like Ayesha” (not that there’s anything wrong with being like Ayesha Curry) the part about men being like a man who was wealthy, popular, tall, and attractive at 25 and chose to get married — you know, like how Steph did — is conveniently left out.

Why is she trending today?

Because transubstantiated cash register Kim Kardashian recently tweeted a nude selfie. Which, at this point, is like Tyler Perry writing a script about a career-minded woman with dating issues and a homicidal grandmother. We’ve seen this movie already, man.

Unfortunately, the selfie became an impetus for another internet battle royale, as a meme juxtapositioning her picture with a picture of Ayesha Curry went viral.

ayesha kim

The message, of course, being that one of these women is fit to be a wife and mother, and one is not, and women are either one or the other. Which is a terrible fucking message for myriad reasons, including the fact that it FORCES PEOPLE TO SPEND VALUABLE TIME AND EFFORT AND MINDSPACE DEFENDING KIM KARDASHIAN! Of course, nothing is wrong with being Kim Kardashian. (Really, there isn’t.) Still, no one outside of Yeezus Island wakes up in the morning thinking “I’m going to write a defense of Kim Kardashian today” but these social promotion motherfuckers are so analog that they force you to.

So what happens now?

Sane people will continue to believe that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being Ayesha Curry or someone like Ayesha Curry. And that the only thing wrong is when a certain type of woman is considered “better” than another type of woman just because she shops at Banana Republic and tweets smoothie recipes.

And Ayesha Curry will continue to be the perfect woman proxy for people — men and women — with (at best) regressive and (at worst) completely fucking idiotic and dangerous views about how women should be. 

Basically, nothing will change.

Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a columnist for GQ.com And he's working on a book of essays to be published by Ecco (HarperCollins). Damon is busy. He lives in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes. Reach him at damon@verysmartbrothas.com. Or don't. Whatever.

  • miss t-lee

    I can explain.
    Folks are weird as sh*t.

  • Courtney Wheeler

    I’m just annoyed this whole Kim K publicity stunt got so much attention. But true there’s a lot of things to unpack. Ayesha Curry: Beautiful respectful housewife with perfect life/perfect kids. But that’s all she is right? A wife. Then there’s Kim K. Famous for…being famous…but you can’t never knock her hustle. It’s a ridiculous double standard.

    Blah. Being a woman is annoying sometimes.

    • DBoySlim

      Just be you.

      • Courtney Wheeler

        I ain’t rich so that’s the only thing I can afford :)

    • Well but that’s funny because she is also an author and cook. lol. She has her own little thing going too, but she gets pegged as a “homemaker.” lol. I hate the boxes we get put into.

      • miss t-lee

        Ain’t it funny?

      • PhlyyPhree

        I was JUST about to say this!
        I’m almost positive I remember at one point she also did a little acting somewhere as well.
        Not that it’s bad if all she currently lists on her resume is (house)Wife, but where/when did that become AWL she is?

        • Right! Like somewhere it all got a little twisted about who she is. It’s crazy how media and Twitter will set things up. lol.

  • Ess Tee
    • cakes_and_pies

      “Should I stay or should I go.”

  • corey d. seaton

    Rather than celebrate the individuality of morals, styles and sexuality, we get fixated on archetypes. Wifey equates to one type and bad b*tch equates to another, as if people are that simplistic. As if people don’t take on certain personas publicly and actually live out their lives differently behind closed doors. Ultimately, people have a right to be as conservative or progressive as they choose. No shame in any of it.

    • KNeale

      Thats what happens when you dehumanize people. They do the same thing to black folks constantly trying to categorize us into archetypes because our humanity is so far from their consciousness they refuse to believe we are complex people with emotions, desires, needs, flaws, etc. Similarly, when you dehumanize women you erase the reality of a complex being that has many things to offer the world outside of her physical appearance and her ability to be married off.

  • “Basically, nothing will change.” NO TRUER WORDS. These have to be the same people that protested Zendaya playing Aaliyah one day and then hailed her as the new “black” it girl the next. Zzzzzzz. Tired of some of these debates. Nothing wrong with being like Ayesha. And if you want to tweet nude selfies, live your life.

    • Zendaya became black girl magic quick fast

      • cakes_and_pies

        After ole skin ad bones attacked her for her faux locks, she was good as gold.

    • KNeale

      Yes, I’m still trying to figure out when racially ambiguous Amber Rose became “Queen muva”, patron saint, fighting the good fight for black women. When I could have sworn shorty said she doesn’t identify as black and doesn’t feel like she a black woman also feel pretty certain if she wasn’t racially ambiguous/super light skinned we wouldn’t know who she was. But now she is the center of every argument about black women? Can’t keep up.

      • CheGueverraWitBlingOn

        Amber Rose is light skinned? I thought she was white?*

        *And no, I don’t have the time or interest to be looking up Amber Rose’s background TYVM.

  • ChokeOnThisTea

    So, my problem with this Kardashian “anti-sl ut” campaign is that it will only grant white/light women a pass for this type of behavior. Not here for it. Plus, let’s be real: Kim can’t claim body love/empowerment given the tremendous amount of facial and bodily procedures she’s undergone (and please spare me false equivalency arguments of makeup/hair dye). Here hips are da mn near on her stomach. Lmbo!! Seriously though, what she is really doing is rebranding her attention seeking ways as “women’s empowerment” and I’m not here for the such dangerous lies.

    Furthermore, the remedy to “sl ut shaming” is NOT “sl ut celebrating.” There’s no empowerment in using your body any way, any how. There are consequences to it and not just social– spiritual, physical, emotional, etc.

    • RhetoricalReverie

      No, she said it empowers HER. I think she’s simply encouraging people to leave her the h e l l alone.

      • ChokeOnThisTea

        And I quote:

        “And I hope that through this platform I have been given, I can encourage the same empowerment for girls and women all over the world.” -Kim Kardashian

        This is some dangerous territory she’s threading. Kim is a slave to attention and “likes” and as far as I’m concerned, there’s no empowerment in that.

        • Tambra

          Kim is great at marketing, sadly something most of us will never be.

        • RhetoricalReverie

          I feel like you’re taking that too literally. My takeaway is that her body empowers HER and she hopes her empowerment will empower others. She is not dictating how others go about that.

          • ChokeOnThisTea

            Nah. Her body “empowers” her and she hopes to show other women they can be “empowered” the same way if they choose.

          • Jacqueline

            Empower others to do what? I am honestly asking.

            • RhetoricalReverie

              I think for her purposes, maybe standing up for oneself?? I really don’t want to read her little letter again, so that’s the best I’ve got.

            • KNeale

              I’m assuming to not feel ashamed about their bodies or be shamed out of making their own choices of what they do with their body.

        • RhetoricalReverie

          You don’t get to dictate what empowers another.

          • ChokeOnThisTea

            Never claimed I did.

        • People ignore that while SOME are promiscuous and chexually precocious by nature…many others are that way due to some emotional damage. I feel like this is the piece of the puzzle missing when people like Amber Rose and Kim K advocate widespread #SlutCelebration.

          • ChokeOnThisTea

            EXACTLY!! They only focus on social ramifications, but it’s far deeper than that.

            • Like you wanna be #slutty, that’s cool. do you boo. However ANY time you operate outside the parameters of societal norms…you’ll be judged, and usually pretty harshly. But Kim, this is what you wanted right? Attention? It can’t ALL be rainbows and unicorns love.

              • ChokeOnThisTea

                But see that’s where I somewhat disagree. Being judged by others is not the only dangers of that type of stuff. But you’re right, everyone should just do them. Just understand the hidden problems that may come along with simply doing you. The problems folk like the Kardashians aren’t talking about. Kim is a broken woman and anyone with insight can see that. Don’t let the selfies fool you.

                • That’s kind of my point. I feel anyone who ISN’T operating from a place of hurt…wouldn’t fee affected by these things. Also…they wouldn’t feel the need to broadcast their every move, thereby opening themselves up to the court of public opinion…which we all know is the harshest court in all the land…where the rules are made up and don’t even matter.

                  • KNeale

                    “I feel anyone who ISN’T operating from a place of hurt…wouldn’t fee affected by these things.”

                    But thats ridiculous tho. People are people, aka human beings. And human beings are allowed to be affected by things. If I got to the beach in a bathing suit and get negative comments about my body, that affects me. IF I go back to the beach again in my bathing suit am I desperate and operating from a place of hurt?

                    • Why would it hurt you? You know what your body looks like, you CHOOSE to dress in whatever you’re dressed in. Do strangers know something about your body you didn’t ?

                    • KNeale

                      Because I’m a human being with feelings. Because if I go into public and people are either calling me ugly, ridiculing me or calling me a s lut, h o, this that and the other….its going to affect me because I’m a human being. But for those of you out there that are so tough and so unbothered by getting thousands of negative comments about you, I applaud you. I don’t believe you, but I applaud you.

                    • LadyIbaka

                      Giiirl, they lyiiiiiiing!!! Those comments hurt, I don’t care what anybody says. Nobody is made of stone

                    • I’ve been called every fat, black, ugly…dark whatever in the book. When I was a child, yes it did hurt. As I grew into myself and loved myself…I let that mess roll. Yes I’m human and I have feelings, but I control them, the don’t control me.

                    • KNeale

                      Do they control her? IF you say she is operating from a place of hurt what do you mean? Are you operating from a place of hurt by going into public again even though you’ve been chastized?

            • KNeale

              They are focusing on the social ramifications because thats what sl utshaming is about..social ramifications. Emotional damage that may be the root of certain choices individuals make, doesn’t let society off the hook for its treatment of those people.

              • ChokeOnThisTea

                Yes, they are focusing on the social consequences and they are right to say sl it shaming is wrong because it is. What I’m trying to say is there are may be way more problems than just sl ut shaming.

        • Jacqueline

          Honestly, I agree. Sexuality to me is empowering on a one on one basis, but showing everything but your tonsils to me usually seems desperate. It really is all that KK has. Or should we say it is all that she is allowing herself to be. It is a choice.

          This message to me was tiring when Madonna was slinging it and it is even more tiring when this chick is slinging it.

          • PDL – Cape Girl

            Yep, the reason she’s always posting pics. Folks that’s got more going on ain’t outchea tryna prove they’re doing the dang thing via nekkid and disproportioned hips.

            • LadyIbaka

              ?????!!!

        • KNeale

          But maybe there is. I’m going to try and find this article I read about how physical appearance is a form of currency for all people but even more intensely, women. And not by our choice. So within the bounds of our society, people seeking and getting certain amounts of validation for their physical appearance is empowering to us. And that comes in many ways. The validation or acceptance that we are buying with that currency is varied. May be we are buying acceptance from our church community by dressing a certain conservative way. Maybe we are buying validation for our womanhood by dressing feminine even if it is uncomfortable to us. Maybe we are buying desire by sexualizing ourselves. Our physical appearance is part of our value. And again, this is not by choice this is forced upon us. How individual women use that currency is not the issue here because none of use should have our value determined by our physical appearance. The issue is the culture that puts that pressure on women (actually it just straight up forces us through violence) to use our physical appearance as currency.

          All I’m saying is, focus.

          • Kemse

            I’d hazard to say it’s not even cultural, it’s hardwired biology. This is the case in most cultures we know of. What’s defined as attractive may vary culture to culture but universally, the beauty of a woman is sought after, treasured, and in many cases affords her preferential treatment.

            I resent it, but if it’s biological, can it be changed? Really? I’m starting to doubt it.

            • KNeale

              ?? Maybe modern cultures. And they also share other common practices like exchanging money for food, whch is not hardwired in biology. Like poopooing in toilets, which is not hardwired in biology. Customs and culture shouldn’t be confused with biology…especially in a colonist world where people use actual violence and/or warfare to force their ideas/customs/beliefs/cultures on other people.

      • Kim doesn’t want ANYONE to leave her alone. As much as she does to be noticed, I think she’d die if people “left her alone”

        • ChokeOnThisTea

          Thank you!

        • RhetoricalReverie

          I think she’s definitely talking to the specific set of people who go out of their way to call her everything but a child of God. I don’t feel one way or the other about her, but I am fascinated by all the vitriol she draws. I just don’t understand why so many people have such strong opinions about someone they do not know and better still claim not to care about. I don’t like Shemar Moore, but I have never read or written a thing about him because I simply have no interest in his anything. His entire being is irrelevant to me, ya know?

          • Same reason anyone has opinion on any celeb. They are a part of public consciousness. Same goes for Bey. She can’t spit left into the wind without upsetting people.

            Kim does provocative and controversial things then goes “aww poor me, people are saying mean things” but…you knew they were gonna do that when you did what you did. #StopIT

            • RhetoricalReverie

              Beyonce and Kim get a special kind of rabid hate online that I don’t understand. This goes beyond opinion to me. It’s like a weird, mean girl groupthink. People say the vilest things about them.

              • Kemse

                I’ve also been fascinated and horrified by this. Some of these Bey fans are cult level obsessed over her, on the other end of the spectrum the visceral hatred….

                Like how does a person you’ve never met and who doesn’t know you affect you that deeply? It’s just…..baffling.

    • This mind seem unnecessary, but isn’t the word “empowerment” becoming a cliche?

      • Freebird

        And a marketing tool. Kim is no fool….

      • CheGueverraWitBlingOn

        An this is what I’m saying….where it’s become a marketing tool and is disingenious about making money, it’s not about liberation or freedom from oppression or any of that.

    • KNeale

      “There is no empowerment to using your body anyway, anyhow”…huh? Says who! Thats kinda sorta the point. That I’m free to use my body how I choose. Who gets to decide the ways and the hows that are and aren’t empowering?

      • ChokeOnThisTea

        Continue reading. There are consequences to it.

        • KNeale

          Huh? I did read. That doesn’t address my comment. My questions still stands, who decides the ways and hows it is empowering?

    • PhlyyPhree

      “There’s no empowerment in using your body any way, any how whether you are a man or woman.”

      I was ALLLLLMOSTTTT with you until there.
      There are consequences for EVERYTHING you do in life. It’s not for anyone else to decide whether those consequences be deemed negative or positive except for me, the person who is using that body to exeperience those consequences.

      • ChokeOnThisTea

        I’m not suggesting that I or anyone should determine whether the consequences are good or bad. I’m simply saying Kim is painting a half-truth.

        • PhlyyPhree

          Maybe,maybe not.
          It’s all in how she personally chooses to identify her experiences and consequences. Maybe she DOES feel empowered by all the attention. Maybe this is exactly what gets her going.

          • ChokeOnThisTea

            In my heart of hearts, I really do feel as though Kim is a broken woman.

            This sort of reminds me of how everyone used to claim Lil Kim was so liberated and empowered with her rap lyrics. Lyrics that I always viewed as a cry for help. A decade later, she went and destroyed her face and body. Where was the empowerment in that? All I’m saying is, we can’t take everything at face value. I really believe Kim’s constant posting of selfies/getting naked is a cry for something else.

            • PhlyyPhree

              I can definitely understand that point of view, but the thing I keep remembering about Kim is that this, all of this attention wh oring and like slaving, is her JOB. I remember an interview I caught in passing where she talked about what a job this was for her. That is not to say that she didn’t end up with the job due to some latent issues or traumas that were never properly dealt with, but at the same time as someone else mentioned up thread, who’s to say that it isn’t also just her nature?
              WHY does it matter and who are we(society) to make any judgement on it? Let her be.

            • Leggy

              Ughhh. There’s nothing worse than an arm chair psychologist. She’s broken? Okay family friend.

              • ChokeOnThisTea

                Bye, Leggy.

                • Leggy

                  Bye to you too.

    • Leggy

      “There are consequences to it”

      Lmao. Says who? Y’all gotta start policing your own da mn selves with your morals and leave everybody alone. Her body her choice. If Kim kardashian wants to undergo a hundred surgeries. Still her God da mn choice. It’s her body. Why do y’all care so much? Let your morals and your so called consequences police your bodies just keep that BS away from other women.

      Also it’s not your place to tell women what should empower them. If modesty empowers you, go for it. If being naked empowers someone else, let them have it!!

      • ChokeOnThisTea

        Ok, Leggy.

    • AquaTeamV3

      Furthermore, the remedy to “sl ut shaming” is NOT “sl ut celebrating.” There’s no empowerment in using your body any way, any how whether you are a man or woman. There are consequences to it and they’re not just social (ex. spiritual, physical, emotional, etc. )

      Agreed! I know this isn’t a popular opinion, but certain behaviors have a negative stigma for a reason. She has the right to do whatever she wants, but she also needs to own whatever criticism comes with it.

      • PDL – Cape Girl

        I’m here for the unpopular opinion

    • Asiyah

      “Furthermore, the remedy to “sl ut shaming” is NOT “sl ut celebrating.”

      *nodding*

      I’m more of the “who cares as long as you’re not judging me” so I don’t see why we should shame or celebrate this.

  • Michelle

    I’m kinda sick of people acting as if all kinds of women don’t get married. Quiet women, ratchet women, naked women, whatever. All kinds get married. If you like more conservative women, get you one. If you like women who give no damns, get you one. We need to stop telling other people how to behave, dress, etc. Do you and be happy. The end.

    • DBoySlim

      Amen.

    • For most people on twitter:

      http://truegif.com/pictures/gif/9580.gif

    • I was just watching some…adult entertainment last night where a real world husband and wife duo were doing the cuckold thing. They are SO for it. Anything is possible when you find your other half.

      • PhlyyPhree

        I literally did a full record stop.
        The hayle you watching boo?
        Just for inquiring minds and all…

        • LMAO ummm I dabble in a lot of fringe activities.

          • PhlyyPhree

            No judgement. Just asking…for a friend.
            *cues FE*

            • Sosidity

              (silently planning to discover this whole “live youtube at night” thing)…

          • Kemse

            I really like the phrase “fringe activities” in this context. That’s all.

        • porqpai

          Man live youtube at night ain’t no joke. J/S
          I may have discovered this by accident last night doing um.. research… yeah that’s what it was… for a friend

          • PhlyyPhree

            Live youtube you say?
            I didn’t know this was such a thing.
            Tell me more…

            • porqpai

              I really don’t remember how I happened upon it. It was a YouTube rabbit hole kind of night. I do know it brought me back to the days when Cinemax used to have all these dirty after dark shows. It was shocking, hilarious and a great incentive to take my a s s to bed lol

              • L8Comer

                I wanna see. Show me the way down this rabbit hole

      • KNeale

        Anybody on Tumblr? Because there are about a million and 1 couples blogs documenting their exploits.

        • Kwazi Style

          …. logs onto tumblr….

          • cakes_and_pies

            You at work? Don’t do it! Don’t even use their wifi if you’re on your phone or tablet.

            • CheGueverraWitBlingOn

              For real, I’m about to scrub my cookies and history just reading this thread.

              I’m breaking out the memopad for handwritten notes though.

              • cakes_and_pies

                BWAHAHA. I am quick to use my unlimited data at work to note a tumblr page and keep it moving.

              • fxd8424

                I scrub my cookies and history every time I leave VSB.

                • Mochasister

                  I don’t. But I will start. Not that it helps. I think everyone is basically living out Rockwell’s song “I Always Feel Like Somebody’s Watching Me” whether they know it or not.

                  • fxd8424

                    I scrub my history because most of the time I’m on it when I should be working. So it’s a just in case someone’s watching for me. My workplace is very informal, but you never know.

                    • Mochasister

                      How do you do this? I don’t really look up anything at work that’s not work related so I’m not worried about that. My cellphone has some “interesting” searches on it that probably shouldn’t be there. Like how to cut somebody in the eyelid and karate chop said person in the throat in one blow. I was mad.

                    • fxd8424

                      I’m able to do this because I work in a small law firm, don’t share a cublcle, have my own office, a lot of my work is on the computer, and I get what I need to get done on time so there is no problem. But still, I don’t underestimate folks so I scrub. LOL @ cut somebody in the eyelid and karate chop said person in the throat in one blow.

              • Sidenote: I loved this standup!

        • Nah lol xnxx dot com

          • chivalrous1won

            Pronmd.com

        • KB

          I needs to follow for entertaining stories. Tumblr, like Pinterest is a rabbit-hole foe dat azz

        • There are plenty of days where i feel like p0rn0 blogs (couple, amateur, etc) outnumber regular blogs on tumblr

        • occupiesthethrone

          You can’t go on tumblr after 6 PM without your dash turning into a smorgasbord of genitals.

      • Well tasty blacks dot com gives a TON of options. . I need my ish to have black folks.

        • L8Comer

          Girl Yas. Ever since booty talk made u start paying, I been at a loss. Ima check this out

      • Originalcutie

        Pause for the cause. Not trying to get all in the sauce, but umm, there’s a site for that? Do tell….???

        • LOL there is a site for Ev Er Ree thang!

      • chelsea vader

        lit

      • KingsCounty

        amateur is where its at. real home movies are wayyyyyyyyy better than that over produced under acted nonsense.
        and it gives me that boost to make my own vids and if she wit it, we share them on the sites.
        xhamster and xvideos , i got my own library!
        but i’ve said too much.

    • Veronica Luckett Kirkland

      Are you married? JA

    • Last Word

      What you’re saying would be fine and dandy, except we live in a society right now that embraces ratchet thots, over civilized women. The Black community overall can’t seem to have stable homes and its simply because MOST haven’t seen what a stable home looks like. Taking the passive “do you and be happy” with the obvious ending contributing to social economical disparity needs to stop. I guess basically what I’m going to conclude here Michelle is that it’s OKAY to have standards.

      • Jasmine

        A stable home doesn’t necessarily correlate with the way a woman dresses. Both Ratchet thots (not really sure of your definition of this) and Civilized women can both establish stable home environments.

        • Guest

          If you want a stable home like the days of old, be a man who can take care of everyone, purchase a house, put two cars in the garage and leave the woman home to reap the benefits. Like things USED to be.

          • and you got to apply the fundamentals, principles, standards, ethic and order and with a ratchet thot you can have neither, you will one have disorder and confusion thus a unstable and a dysfunctional house not a home.

            • Guest

              “Ratchet thot” I don’t speak this language. A ratchet is a tool from Home Depot. I don’t subscribe to the idea that everyone is terrible and ghetto and horrible and beneath me and I am the black person with substance that some how grew up as a rose out of concrete. Technically, if you want the stability of 1950, you have to provide the stability of 1950. Only the prostitutes and lowlifes would hang with a man who couldn’t financially support a family.

              • “Only the prostitutes and lowlifes would hang with a man who couldn’t financially support a family.” after reading the comments left by the women on this thread it’s clear that the majority of them are prostitutes and lowlifes and base on that if I was a young hard working black man I would be like a friend of mines, I would not put my name on them [I would not marry them] after reproducing myself a few times with them I would get a vasectomy and just use them for my pleasure and f them.

              • For The WIN!

              • “Don’t cry about wanting yesterday’s woman while trying to be today’s loser feminine fukkboy.”

                WEELLLLLLL

                *waves church fan*

              • Beauty In Truth

                NOPE. His points are valid, why you gotta go so hard?

                • nsu1997

                  Because their M.O. is attack the person, not the message.

            • Beauty In Truth

              YAAASSS!!!

        • ratchet thots is nothing new however in my long life I have never seen a ratchet thots establish a stable home it’s impossible because by nature where ever there is a ratchet thot there will be confusion, dysfunction and disorder. sorry you just can’t think something into existence just because we wish it so. peace.

      • God Shammgod

        “We live in a society that embraces ratchet thots over civilized women”

        Just because you say something doesn’t make it true.

        • PhlyyPhree

          HELLO???!?!?!?!?!

          • CheGueverraWitBlingOn

            I’m just gonna say, this is…at least a conversation that should be had. It doesn’t justify the tomfoolery we see on twitter and the interwebs about Ayesha Curry being some prototype that all women should aspire to. Buuut, isn’t there some value to at least discussing the where and why of acceptable norms that apply to women in popular culture (particularly Black women who are so often stereotyped and bashed and put down).

            And Last Word, I’m not a fan of the “civilized women” thing tho. Please. no. stop.

        • Helga G.Pataki

          Oh but of course it does hoteps are all-knowing.

          • cakes_and_pies

            That third eye is so strong,.even the Eye of Sauron be like “Damn Hotep, how you see alla DAT?!’

        • Last Word

          Kim Kardashian has over 41 million followers on twitter. Provide a civilized woman with more followers and media coverage, and I just might reconsider.

          • Guest

            The joke is none of you guys know these women behind closed doors…..that’s where the real sh*t exists. There’s alot of fully clothed azzholes in the world.

          • cakes_and_pies

            Followers have nothing to do with substinence. That is a superficial barometer.

        • Guest

          “the obvious ending contributing to social economical disparity.” Hahaha.

        • thank you!

      • I was about to say youre wrong. But I went to the hood the other day-My friend did warn me- (taking a page from Damon’s 10 TYPES OF BLACK-ON-BLACK CRIME BLACK PEOPLE NEED TO STOP COMMITTING) and I realized the dysfunction the family I was visiting faced is normal to them. I had to curb myself from judging and try to see through the “hood lense” but WAIT. Once Dysfunction creates an inhospitable atmosphere, your baby is fighting in school, molested by your bf, hungry, abused etc then it becomes a problem we need to fix.

        So yes there are unstable homes in the black community, but also in any other race. This is why we need mentors, we need to expose people to different ways of life. If you grew up in a trap house and you never seen how a healthy habitat should look like, that dysfunction becomes your normal.

        However, I dont think a scantily clad mother is cause for such uproar, laws arent being broken, babies arent being abused and theres nothing dysfunctional about it either than people penning Kim as a role model. This is where mentoring comes in…

        • Guest

          Well you can go to a trailer park and see something that will make your skin crawl. Just add bed bugs and hoarding to the mix and you have your own white version.

          • Wild Cougar

            Don’t forget meth and heroin

          • nsu1997

            Translation: “But white people do it toooo” smh

            • Guest

              Stop pulling out the race card…omg not everything is about race….the world is a rainbow and race isn’t an issue anymore….slavery was like four hundred years ago blah blah blah…..

        • Last Word

          Exactly. I only say it’s dysfunctional because here’s a daughter growing up with a mother with a s3x tape, on her 3rd marriage, and routinely posts nude for social media, while making appearances to the highest bidder who are men… My concern is the Black community because we are unjustly targeted and discriminated because of the stigmas America have created. Mentoring is good, but realistically these are programs that requires funding which are conveniently overlooked by local leaders, so this is why I encourage proactive solutions versus reactive solutions.

      • Question

        Umm…who is this “Black community” because there are a lot of Black folks who grew up in stable homes, and a lot of others who did not.

        Can I get some specifics? Or better yet, can you stop generalizing in order to make a point that is actually worth discussing on its own without generalizing all of us in the process?

        • Last Word

          Try out of wedlock, single parenting, and divorce rate statistics for Blacks. That’s exactly where my generalizations are from.

          • Guest

            You can always tell who is having the hardest time getting a date.

            • Last Word

              It’s obvious that a lot of Black women on here are just clueless. It’s a statistical fact that majority of the Black people come from broken unstable homes, and somehow I’m wrong for generalizing something that is relevant and encouraging stability and having standards proven to improve social economical lifestyles. Go figure.

              • cilgen

                Bless your heart.

                • Last Word

                  My wife and I are very blessed.

          • SimplePseudonym

            Black married couples in the USA actually have lower divorce rates than white couples and the general overall population rate. Some say b/c blacks tend to get married later in life.

            • Last Word

              No study I’ve seen has ever stated what you’ve said. The studies and conclusions I’ve seen consistently show that Blacks are less likely to marry, AND are more likely to get a divorce. Also, studies have proven that the older you are the less likely you are to get married.

            • Beauty In Truth

              Let us stop comparing ourselves to “other” groups shall we?

              • SimplePseudonym

                I’m not comparing- it’s just the way that data is done. Even in health, divorce rates are compared to the general population and then the white population b/c overall whites tend to be the most resourced, so differences usually point out disparities. B/c really, what is a **good** divorce rate? 0%.

                The note that blacks have lower divorce rates is to address the misinformation that blacks have insanely high divorce rates. People in the USA have high rates relative to the rest of the world, but in this context, it’s to show that black are not- in fact- the worst in this country as people like to make it believed.

                • Beauty In Truth

                  I disagree but okay.

      • minxbrie

        Who ACTUALLY loves “ratchet thots” when they aren’t being made into a spectacle or a punchline? Your misogynoir is showing, gtfoh.

        • Beauty In Truth

          Kanye West apparently.

      • Twee longway hefner

        If men would police men as hard as they police women maybe the world would be a better place. Last time I checked especially in our community, the violence men cause is a way bigger issue and has caused way more issues than the sexual behaviors of the women in our community. Society isn’t dying b/c one or two women show a titty. The world needs balance ok for every Cardi we need an Ayesha.

        • Last Word

          Twee, most of the men who turn to violence are brought up in single homes exposed to crime/drug infested areas, and primarily raised by the women who birthed them… Furthermore, to say we need a balance is another passive “go with the flow”, statement at a time the middle class is shrinking, while out of wedlock births are rising.

          • Cleojonz

            So the men who left are not to be placed blame on in those situations?

            • Last Word

              Men are NOT legally able to abort as Women are so logically that is where the real problem lies. Many women settle to have children with men they KNOW were NO good for there own naive and selfish way of thinking. Any man that would walk away from his child isn’t a man, but a selfish coward. The reality is that most of the time the signs were present long before the woman got pregnant but chose to overlook it. Does that answer your question?

              • Cleojonz

                No, I think it is a complete a cop out. Both parties are equally responsible. So when a man lays with a woman and chooses not to use protection, he does not know what the possible outcome could be? A baby is best case scenario anyway, I’d be more worried about something I could catch that CAN’T be aborted away.

                • Last Word

                  Sure, he knows what the outcome could be, but here’s the thing, a guy doesn’t go through the physical 9 months of change and pain so he’s simply not as concerned about it as the woman, especially if he does not love her. Furthermore, I’d think the women would be worried about catching something since std’s can cause additional issues with getting pregnant later as well as having the baby.

            • cakes_and_pies

              This is so laughable.Some men rather think of themselves as wild uncontrollable violent animals rather than say they didn’t want to take care of their families.

              • Cleojonz

                Thank you!

              • Last Word

                What’s sad is that some Women actually convince themselves to start a family, when they’re not even in a relationship. What could possibly go wrong?

                • cakes_and_pies

                  What could go wrong? Well, men like you wind up hating Black women and blaming us for everything instead of holding their brethren responsible for anything. The “Ground Zero” woman who hurt you, causing you to release a tirade of “Black Women at Isht” comments really did a number on you.
                  Go ahead and get your little last word in after this. You know you can’t help yourself.
                  Good day sir.

                  • Last Word

                    I’m happily married to a Black Woman.

                    Good day.

                    • Beauty In Truth

                      Good job!

          • occupiesthethrone

            The statistics on out of wedlock births doesn’t mean what you think it means. The percentage of out of wedlock births is higher because married women aren’t having 10, 11, 12 babies anymore. Black married women are having way less children and also getting married later in life. So, the out of wedlock birth rate isn’t really a case of bad, nasty black smuts as you continue to imply. I also noticed you had absolutely nothing to say on DV that black women face except to turn it back on black women to blame us for everything as usual. That story is so old. Black women are way more likely to attend college and start businesses then Black men. It’s not even a competition. Yet, we get blamed for everything wrong with the black man. Nah, son. Y’all need to get your lives together. We out here battling racism AND sexism, a whole lot of that sexism coming from our own men, and we STILL winning. Stop blaming us for everything and do better.

            • Last Word

              Anyway you look at it, out of wedlock is still higher for Blacks, because we overall come from broken homes, so the problem is there is a lack of two good working parents in these households raising kids. Telling men to do better is kinda irrelevant when its the women who “allowed” the man to get her pregnant, AND she decides to bring that child in the world without a solid foundation, KNOWING the father is no good. Also, saying Black women are way more likely to attend college or start a business is good, but Black men STILL earn more than Black women on average. Men in general are less likely to attend college across the board in comparison to women, because many labored jobs do not require a 4 year degree. Lastly, I will say this, Women hold more power than what Women give themselves credit for. If more women held high standards, and demanded better from guys, guys would step up and meet whatever demands are necessary to be with them.

        • fxd8424

          Girl, yes!

        • Beauty In Truth

          I disagree. I could very much appreciate a world without ratchet, ghetto, rude, hoish, low-class girls. They are waste of space and time.

          This is why women aren’t taken seriously. It has nothing to do with morals per say, it’s decency and taste. You cannot mold tacky into classy. It just doesn’t work that way.

          Sure having casual sx may be great,but with someone elses man? TACKY
          Sleeping with 15 men on average plus a year may be the thrill of your life! But telling all your associates/fellow hos about it then insisting on validation that (that) much mileage in a year is not THAT BAD: TRASHY

          Being Khloe the Sequoia Tree Kardashian: UNFORTUNATE

          HAVING SOME TASTE, DISCRETION, AND AVOIDING TO CHASE DOWN RELATIVES AND TAKEN MEN: PRICELESS

          SIP THAT TEA ALL YOU TACKY CLASSLESS GIRLS. AIN’T NOBODY GONNA FEEL SORRY FOR YOU WHEN YOU CATCH AIDS/A BEAT DOWN/ OR JAILTIME.

          SIP-SIP-SIP!

      • Aria Dai

        If by “ratchet thots” you mean women like Kim Kardashian and by “civilized women” you mean women that like Ayesha Curry who are more modest and traditional, then that statement is completely false. Of course women are sexualized and men like to look at women naked, but in fact most men (and many women) think like you. Most people shame women for showing their bodies and for not fitting into other gender roles (like being a sweet,nurturing, house wife) by calling them degrading names such as “ratchet thot” and implying that they are uncivilized.

        And also blaming black women for the state of black families while also implying that we HAVE to be housewives and the burden of fixing the black community falls on our shoulders like…

      • nsu1997

        Spot on. When you live in a world that side-eyes the Ayesha Currys but roots for the Ciaras you know it’s time to stick a fork in it.

    • Man listen.. spit that fire… Real talk… I dated my husband’s brother first, saw my husband and knew that he was exactly what I liked…the brother is an a$$hole…. his family tried it for years about me being with both of them..I won’t say what I said but the point is…. IDGAF about anything.. It’s scary. I was never that kid that could be shamed into acting right. I do what I want and will be like….
      http://45.media.tumblr.com/fb0396c94e2d841b8a375d34fe8d59d5/tumblr_o06lpfcCDd1tb7uwxo1_500.gif

      • heyheyno

        Ok girl I’m not mad at ya

      • Michelle

        Lol I absolutely love it! I am not mad at you girl!

      • L8Comer

        Lol!!

        • Absolutely don’t! I am stealing this! BTW

          • L8Comer

            Go for it! Janelle is for the people!!

          • Rebecca Pryor


            “my .friend’s mate Is getting 98$. HOURLY. on the internet.”….


            two days ago new Mc.Laren. F1 bought after earning 18,512$,,,this was my previous month’s paycheck ,and-a little over, 17k$ Last month ..3-5 h/r of work a days ..with extra open doors & weekly. paychecks.. it’s realy the easiest work I have ever Do.. I Joined This 7 months ago and now making over 87$, p/h.Learn. More right Hereoi!614????? http://GlobalSuperEmploymentVacanciesReportsInfo/GetPaid/98$hourly…. .?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:::::oi!614…..

        • Verdadgiuliano2


          “my .friend’s mate Is getting 98$. HOURLY. on the internet.”….


          two days ago new Mc.Laren. F1 bought after earning 18,512$,,,this was my previous month’s paycheck ,and-a little over, 17k$ Last month ..3-5 h/r of work a days ..with extra open doors & weekly. paychecks.. it’s realy the easiest work I have ever Do.. I Joined This 7 months ago and now making over 87$, p/h.Learn. More right Hereoi!51????? http://GlobalSuperEmploymentVacanciesReportsDaily/GetPaid/98$hourly…. .?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:::::oi!51……

      • yea, but a person without shame is a very dangerous person and can never be trusted, and perhaps that’s what your husband family knew and was concerned about, now that’s just fact.

        • L8Comer

          She didn’t say she didn’t have shame at all in life – she is human. Just that she wasn’t going to let it control her. Also shame is relative. She didn’t find that shameful. But maybe something else is shameful to her.

          • regardless of gender, again a person without shame do not respect boundaries and is a very dangerous person, no if ands and buts about it.

            • L8Comer

              I’m not disagreeing with you at all. But she didn’t say she is a person that never experiences shame ever. Just that she wasn’t going to let OTHER’s people perception of shameful behavior control her. Sounds like a better way to live life to me rather than let other people’s perceptions and feelings control you.

              She went after the man she wanted and who wanted her. She has been happily married for years (over 10 I think). And she doesn’t find anything shameful in the way she found happiness just b/c other people do.

              I don’t want to speak for her, but I didn’t hear her say she doesn’t experience shame ever… just not over that. Maybe she finds other things shameful; it’s relative. For example, the way some people I know keep their bathroom and kitchen in MY opinion is absolutely shameful. To many other people it’s normal and I am a n a l. Other things I do I’m sure people would find shameful, but idgaf. Suh it guh.

              • ok but it is what it is, and it ain’t no two ways about it, because principles don’t change, regardless the way they feel or chose to live their life a person without shame do not respect boundaries and is a very dangerous person and they can not be trusted in a relationship no matter how good they try to be, keep living you can wish bad to be good but it won’t make it so. they didn’t teach you that in college those are principles you learn and except when you become knowledgeable, smart and truly educated. peace.

              • ok, what’s not said is just as important as what was said!

              • Honey, you just spoke for me! Yes ma’am!

                When YOU own your shyt, you take away their power. The end.

            • Wild Cougar

              Dangerous person here! You don’t need shame to respect boundaries. Shame is an unnecessary emotion. Let me break it down for you. Guilt is about what. Shame is about who. You can correct actions quickly and move forward. You can be ok with WHO you are and accept and change mistakes. Shame is about demeaning and degrading the personhood in order to get them to change actions. Negative reinforcement from the outside. Character is built from the inside. Get it? A person who needs to be shamed to change their actions is actually less trustworthy than a person who has no shame. People dislike shameless types because they are less able to manipulate them to act in ways against their interest. Actions that are prohibited by shame only are usually the types of actions that have really ambiguous cultural moral value. Like dating brothers. What does it REALLY matter? It kinda doesn’t, that’s why people want to wield shame to manipulate the actions. That’s all they got.

              • Girl, DO NOT COME WITH THIS GOOD WORD TODAY.

                EXACTLY!!!

              • Question

                “Guilt is about what. Shame is about who”. I never thought about it like that.

                Actually…there are a lot of quotables in what you just laid out. Good stuff.

            • fxd8424

              A person with boundaries could be dangerous as well. Depends on what the boundaries are.

            • chelsea vader

              I have no shame and its not about boundaries. I’ll do or won’t do something due to morals nothing to do with what society tells me is right. Granted I’m a man and its more instilled in me to not feel as much shame as women but to say no shame equals danger sounds ludicrous to me.

        • Shame isn’t really that powerful to begin with, esp. with adults. It’s far less powerful in an age, where you have greater control over who you associate with as well. Principles are stronger than shame, but unfortunately society doesn’t have principles, only individuals do. And Kim K’s principles allow her to profit off the usage of her body.

          • Bro, grown a$$ adults try to dish out shame like 40 going North. They have not learned.

          • chelsea vader

            Society has principles, they may not align with yours but they’re principles so how about you stop that so not powerful shaming :D

        • Hmmmm interesting. What’s dangerous about a person being upfront and honest about who they are? What you see is what you get and if you don’t like it…. you can know what you can do.

          I live my life without giving a fcuk what people think. Many people, including you it sounds like, live to create the illusion that they may be better because they give the illusion that they hold themselves to some “higher standard” when in reality, they are swallowing 100 bags of dix, being drunk abusing their kids not paying their bills, using drugs…etc. behind closed doors while trying to point their fingers at someone like me and going to church every Sunday. THAT’S a FACT.

          There’s NOTHING that I’ve done that I’ve not owned. My husband are 15 years in btw while his family still do WORSE than I could have ever done. But thanks for your input.

          http://images.amcnetworks.com/wetv.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/7.gif

          • Mika

            This meme and your response is everything.

            • Thank you, Sis! Black women are constantly eating everybody’s shyt…I’m living and loving my life and giving these jokers my ENTIRE A$$ to kiss!

          • cilgen

            I’m 175 years old, and I truly want to be just like you, NWT, when I grow up. Thanks for teaching this ole gal some things on today. :- )

          • my bad, I thought so!

          • Oluseyi

            Stumbled back in here off a series of unexpected steps and I gotta say…

            MY! N*GGA!

            My maturity just leveled up off your posts. *dap*

        • Ni66as are quick to police a woman ‘s vagina… Worry about your own $hit. FACTS.

        • PinkRose

          I see your point, but I don’t think this is about shame at all. IMHO, it’s about the fact that there’s all types of relationships/marriages in the world. And as I’ve gotten older, I try not to judge others, though I reserve the right to MY opinion. I personally think it’s low class and h o ish to date friends/relatives, but others are perfectly fine with it. To each their own!

          • you are exactly right and it shows the lack of ethic and a code of conduct in that group or person, and you notice they all ways say “I do what I want to do and don’t care what nobody things” that’s what the “heathens” do. when it becomes ok to date/sleep with close friends/relatives of someone you are or have been in a relationship that shows the level of civility and the lack of respect for each other in that group.

            Heathen-Informal. an irreligious, uncultured, or uncivilized person.

            • Beauty In Truth

              I agree with everything you are saying here. THIS is what I bees talking AH-BOUT! Go scroll to the next article where like only 60 people are uplifting Ciara, but kissing this OP azz about here morals out da window ways. Women you can’t expect to be feminist, and IDGAF and then wonder why men don’t respect you. We can parade and not give ZERO FKS all day, but that Does NOT mean that a man will not STILL THINK LIKE A MAN, AND CONSIDER YOU A HO. Denial is ample and plenty in this good old millenial age!

              • thank you, this a rarity, you are a breath of fresh air on a black blog, more power to you.

              • Guest

                I haven’t had relations in 7 years and I am a Feminist. Don’t stereotype others. It’s low class. Very Trumpesque.

                • Beauty In Truth

                  Your comment makes no sense. No stereotypes just commentary based on all the idgaf comments by the “feminists” on here . FYI I support Trump for President. Don’t assume all black people are Democrats. It’s very politically illiterate of you.

              • Decent is relative… I know you aren’t a virgin or haven’t had one in your face…so now you wanna act like you are the epitome of decent?

                Girl listen…red nail Polish was indecent and so were ankle bracelets…I have been with the same man going on 16 years.. you’re still sifting through dix…

      • Cole

        See, you didn’t have enough sense to noticed that the first dude you were with wasn’t right for you form the jump. It happens to everybody, so don’t make this about I don’t care about what people had to say. It was your decision to get with the brother without knowing what you like. You made it hard on yourself boo. Know what you want first and don’t ignore red flags. Its funny people love to say IDGAF until it happens to them. Clowns.

        • Made it hard? Actually, I made it easy. I had the balls to get with the better option versus letting another mfer tell me what’s right for me… Here’s the tea, honey. I don’t spend my life wishing that I could do… I do it..and who’s gonna check me. You sound kinda mad.. maybe, if you worried less about people’s opinions, you’d do more.

          You remind me of those broads on church criticizing everybody about everything only to go home to loveless marriages or empty beds.

          You can keep that boo.

          But thanks for caring.

          • Michelle

            I love your “idgaf” attitude. I’m working on mine now and I’m trying to get to your level up “f*ck this shitness”. Gon and continue to prosper girl!

            • Thank you baby!! I’m turning 42 in June… I wish I would let somebody’s opinion block what I wanna do!

            • Beauty In Truth

              Any woman with a IDGAF attitude just be warned of a woman’s scorned revenge. Yall wild and reckless out here. But if somenonsense happens to you, we’re supposed to be all:

              “GirlPOWER!!!!” GDAFKOHWTB_______SHYTE!

          • Get her together.

            • Chile!! That’s why I blog because these mfers will have me snatching edges from here to China. lmao

        • SimplePseudonym

          So, I’m guessing from your response that you’re married to the first (and only) person with whom you went on a date. That’s the ONLY way this level of naivete could make a little sense. and I mean a liiiiiiiiiittle sense.

      • fxd8424

        You’re my shero!!

        • Awwwwww maaaan… stop.. I’m just trying to live life to the fullest.

          • fxd8424

            You sound like you living it too.

            • Yep…with my partner in crime and our daughter while the rest of these mfers are like…

              https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/beb8d50cda92ae323e7bfdd04f00e4f54b35a17e905b78b9b632e86c805f64a9.gif

              • Mochasister

                I’m curious. What did they say to your husband about dating his brother’s former girl?

                • Absolutely NOTHING.
                  Basically some “bros before ho3s” type bs.

                  I shut all that bs down when somebody tried to break fly at a family gathering….when a niece made the reference to everybody having this.

                  Verbatim I said, “That’s incorrect…I had 2 ni66as acting like 2 bytches in a schoolyard fighting over the cute boy and he couldn’t care less. Your game must be weak because you still live in your mama’s pj’s,bumming Newports and taking the train…. you may wanna take notes. ”

                  Needless to say I was the bad guy for ruining dinner! But they got my msg loud and clear.

                  • Mochasister

                    Yeah, I figured as much. So you were singing that Busta Rhymes song “I got you all in check”? I have got to start learning how to embed gifs.

                    • Woooow haaaaaah! Lmao

                    • Mochasister

                      Lol! I hate it when people act like the man didn’t have anything to do with the situation. Like the woman held a gun to his head and forced this poor innocent man to come with her. So annoying.

      • LadyIbaka

        Lissssssssen. I like you.

        • That’s what he said!!!

          Awwwww thanks mamita!!

          • LadyIbaka

            It is what it is. You ended up happy.

      • Democracyatitsfinest

        That’s just gross on the part of the brothers for one. This world this world.Yes I judged, because IM THAT person.

        • Gross on their part implies that I’m gross and we aren’t about to do that. We can speak to their loyalty to one another and that’s about it. At the end of the day, we were all adults and I didn’t owe either one of them $hit. Now- whatever issues were had between those two men.. wasn’t an NWT problem.

          I wasn’t going back and forth. I dropped one for the other but even if I was or did… SO WHAT… Judging and judgment are merely opinions of other folks of which have no bearing on what I do.

          I’m assuming by your “This world. this world” comment that you are going to church tomorrow. When you get there, tell White Geezus that I had half a bottle of wine today with my two besties, I cussed an old lady out in traffic for cutting me off and that I worked on the Sabbath.

      • Get Your Life

        Oh

      • Mochasister

        ¡Ay mujer! ¿No te importó para nada ? ¡ Me imagino que la gente te cantaba la canción Escandálo!

        • Óyeme!! La gente que me importa ya me conoce.

          Yo soy una persona bien sincera y transparente. Yo no doy sorpresas a nadie porque no quiero que gente diga que no sabia.

          Yo duermo bien en la noche porque siempre me quedo con una consciencia limpia!

          La mayoría de la gente hablando mierda, son cabrones. Haciendo la misma mierda detrás de la espalda de su pana mientras están puntando dedos a mí. #foh

          • Mochasister

            ¡Andale pues!

      • Junegirl627

        I’ve read your post on this and the Ciara/ Russel engagement and I agree with alot of what you’ve said. I believe in fate & I’ve always felt that sometimes you meet someone not because that specific person is meant to be apart of your “Happily Ever After” but they are the connection you need to be in position to meet that person.

        That being said, why are you even entertaining all these people on here. They are judging you, but like the bible said “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone” That’s not saying I think that what you did is a sin, cuz i don’t. I’m just saying that you shouldn’t defend your actions to anyone. We all did something that goes against the norm, so anyone who wants to act like what you did is soooooo wrong. Needs to check their past, present and future and the past, present, and future of their families and friends too because the most judgemental people have the biggest skeletons in their closets. So while they are shading you for your decisions they got Je$us up in Heav3n giving them the side eye while Mary & Joseph are sippin tea like Kermit the Frog talking about how that’s none of their business.

        I mean people really bug the the fukc outta me. Like what would they rather you see you do? Leave the man you were meant to be with alone, and sit around wishing you could meet the person you were destined for (even though apparently you already had) doing those prayer circles asking Jesus for help (even though he already did that when he put him right in front of you at the first family dinner with the fam) because the start of the relationship you have with YOUR HUSBAND was a little messy? GETTHEFUCKOUTTAHEREWITHTHATBULLSHIT

        • You are the real MVP!!!!
          You get it! Thank you.

          This isn’t so much me defending myself as it is not being pressed about what folks have to say. Ya know?…. You and I both know that there is a woman somewhere reading this post and these responses being shamed by folks… I’m here to say that she doesn’t have to eat shyt.

          My parents instilled this into my sister and me so this is just stop for me… most people not even just women aren’t raised that way. It’s sad.

          Because of how I am, people either love me or hate me… I never get the in betweens which makes my weeding out process efficient as fukk. And they know what they’re getting out the gate.

    • heyheyno

      Yep you summarized it perfectly

    • Ngan

      “If you like women who give no damns, get you one.” <— Need this on a billboard

    • Beauty In Truth

      Stats only follow the cons/traditional model so that’s all we have to go on really.

    • laysguerrero

      This and this and this!

  • “Basically, nothing changes.”

    Yeah, this is because, on an intellectual level, all of these debates are the same as arguing “Coke vs. Pepsi.” They are arguments about “brands” not people. Which is why I don’t think a serious conversation could come from such a thing. It’s also funny that people are more passionate and argumentative about things they cannot control than things they actually can.

    http://i.imgur.com/AcJGX8S.gif

    • Jasmine

      I just want to say that i’m genuinely in love with the intensity in this man’s face. Best picture I’ve seen all day.

      • KMN

        lmao he serious about that PepsiCo combo he got going on ain’t he? lol

    • Why do I have a strange desire to do this. It would feel so rebellious

  • Roy Harris

    “University of Phoenix Twitter…” I’m so stealing that.

  • -h.h.h.-

    so, lemme see if i can scrunch this down…

    shea butter twitter is going to war with hotep twitter over a dumb meme, which is sorta kinda based on a basketball wife’s tweet?

    this is what has got y’all going?

    one day i truly hope ….nevermind, i almost forgot where i was.

    http://images.techtimes.com/data/images/full/26938/travelreading-gif

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