Featured, Race & Politics

Dr. Umar Johnson And The Hotep Civil War, Explained

Ok, so I’ve seen you reference “Hoteps” before — with quizzes, video content, and even the way you conjugate certain verbs — but I don’t think I’ve ever quite seen a clear definition or explanation on what makes a hotep a hotep. Would you mind providing one?

No problem! In this context, Hotep refers to Pan-African extremists who often infuse their Pan-Africanism with misogyny, a Trumpian relationship with facts and understanding of context, and a steadfast belief in bizarre and ridiculous conspiracy theories.

For instance?

The belief that menstruation is unnatural and only happens to Black women because of a European virus.

The what that what is what and what???

Exactly.

Like, you know how annoying some college students are the summer after freshman year, when they come home and think they all of a sudden know everything about everything just because they managed not to flunk out? Well, hoteps tend to be that way too, except add 30 years and a quart of ash, and substitute The Isis Papers for English 101.

So, hotep doesn’t necessarily describe people who are just Pan-African?

No. Just the people who use Afrocentricity as a Trojan horse; giving their regressive fuckshit a veneer of authenticity and respectability. I actually wouldn’t even call these people pro-Black, because their pro-Blackness doesn’t extend to the LGBTQ community, Black women who happen to be feminists, and Black men who see through and call out their bullshit. Basically, anyone who doesn’t subscribe to the belief that the (straight) Black man’s dick is an unimpeachable Yahweh.

Does the hotep community have leaders?

America’s most prominent hotep is probably Tariq Nasheed, creator of Hidden Colors, which is essentially the hotep syllabus and seems poised to replace Booty Talk as the longest running Black documentary series. There’s also Dr. Boyce Watkins, a man who just really needs a spa day or something. And then there’s Dr. Umar Johnson, who apparently got his PhD at the same school that granted Dr. Pepper a degree, and has been raising money for years to fund a school that doesn’t exist. I suspect he’s using the donations to splurge on Muscle Milk and Snickers Ice Cream Bars.

I’ve seen Dr. Umar Johnson’s name on Facebook recently. Didn’t he just realize some type of video?

Yes. A 45-minute-long rant against someone called a General Sara Suten Seti. It’s basically Hotep Loaded Lux versus Hotep Murda Mook. The only thing missing is Dr. Umar screaming “You gonna get this work!”

You really expect me to watch 45 minutes of this shit?

Only if you want to be entertained.

By what?

By his enunciation. At the 1:32 mark, this nigga pronounces “protracted” so hard that I felt a blood vessel burst in my neck. By the fact that he says he’s in Florida — and looks to be in a hotel room — but is rocking a Philadelphia Phillies knit stocking cap. By the gallon of sweat you know accumulated in his cap. That cap probably weighed 18 pounds by the end of his rant. By him saying “look at my face when you’re talking to me” at the 3:20 mark, like he’s Skyping that nigga instead of staring at himself. By his impressively worded stream of prison bunk bed consciousness. By “SPEAK YOUR SPEECH, NIGGA!” — which I’m totally putting on a shirt to add to our line at Tees In The Trap. By “All your information comes from other niggas books!” which is such a bizarre insult because that’s where everyone gets information from. Unless Dr. Umar Johnson is wishing information into existence; conjuring it from the aether. (Which, all things considered, actually makes sense.) By the fact that, for someone who is so anti-gay, this rant is homoerotic as a motherfucker. At 5:55 he says “You think I aint study your little nut ass, nigga” with fury and intensity, which is a pretty damn gay thing to say. Not that there’s anything wrong with studying little nigga’s nut asses. Study all the little nigga nut asses you desire! But I’m just saying. By “I’m Melanated, Bitch” which totally sounds like a Soundcloud-only bonus track off of a Solange album. By him stating that he “called an elder’s meeting,” and my hurt feelings that I received nan email or text or Facebook invite about said meeting. (I’m an elder now too, nigga!)

By the fact that everything I just said happens in the first seven minutes of this video. Theres’s 38 more minutes of this!!!

What exactly is he so angry about?

Who knows? Just know that everything you need to know about hoteps — who they really are, what they’re really about, their peculiar attire, their relationships with lotion, their use of the word “cracker” (which NO ONE else actually says anymore) — can be found here. This “war” is like cow dung beefing with steer dung. It’s all bullshit.

That was clever.

Thanks!

Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a columnist for GQ.com And he's working on a book of essays to be published by Ecco (HarperCollins). Damon is busy. He lives in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes. Reach him at damon@verysmartbrothas.com. Or don't. Whatever.

  • Why did Dr. Boyce Watkins catch a stray when he has nothing to do with this?

    • Niqqa had the nerve to be putting out books.

      • Sigma_Since 93

        The real ones under a publisher or the straight to amazon ones???

    • Ninjas get shot everyday, b!

      • The Pengest BK

        Let Trump tell it.

    • Damon Young

      I think you may need to read up some more on the good dr boyce. particularly his facebook rantings

      • I’ve read it, and he’s on the fence. Like he’s more hotep affiliated than hotep. He actually have a real PhD in economics.

      • I wouldn’t because I don’t have facebook, I only follow his youtube channel and 70 % of the content is coming from black women.

      • Olerud_4_Life

        How is boyce watkins hotep? All he does is preach black economics and love for black women. THen he gives his platform to a bunch of black people to use. I dont agree with everything he says but hes fairly practical and is far from hotep. YOu guys gotta do your homework before you throw insults. If hes hotep then i guess claud anderson and michelle alexander are hotep as well lol

      • La Bandita

        I love you. I mean WE love you!! Im married!!! Just keep writing – I have mommy and me yoga class to go to, lol.

    • HouseOfBonnets

      Because he tried it the other day comparing the death of George Michael to chicago crime and hasn’t helped with a doggone thing here……he can catch this too.

      • Ari

        He also just told black women to stop buying hair weaves and invest in black businesses – as if the black haircare industry alone is not already…NVM.

  • Tasha Lawrence?

    This fool been collecting money to build some African centred school or something along those lines and it has never seen the light of day. Fraud.
    Secondly, who the phakk credentialed him with the letters D and R?!? Which school did he attend?!? Fraud.
    Why do people invest in such people without asking for accountability? He has never run a business that we know of, and yet he will be able to run a multi million dollar pan African centered school through public donations. Nonsense.

    • When you are a silver tongued charlatan…you can makeup whatever story about your life you want. Ppl believe in charisma FAR more than they believe in facts. I SEENT IT happen.

      • I had heard his tongue is more like vermillion

        • LOL I always call charismatic liars Silver Tongued Charlatans.

        • And because he is a Hotep, all he probably do with that tounge is talk…

          Shame.

          • HouseOfBonnets

            Hahahahahahahahaaaaa

      • Tasha Lawrence?

        I remember watching an exchange with a woman on LGBQT matters, and she came at him with FACTS. But he went on a nonsensical rant, and had the crowd cheering him on, boosting his ego.

      • Mary Burrell

        Me too and it was scary

    • Negro Libre

      False prophets

      Reminds me of all them hustling pastors back home.

    • Carlisias

      These snake oil salesmen validate their stupid hotep fever dreams and that’s all they care about.

    • I did a quick Google, and he does have a PsyD degree from the Philadelphia College of Osteopathic Medicine. He does have an honest to goodness degree from an accredited school, but PsyD’s have a rep for being bottom of the barrel degrees.

      • Tasha Lawrence?

        Is that a PSYCHOLOGY degree as he purports?

        • Anonymous

          lol.

          Girl, yes. Look at the name of the degree.

          • Tasha Lawrence?

            I ain’t gon lie. I didn’t know that’s what it is called. But don’t you need a doctorate to be a Dr?!?!?

            • Anonymous

              Any degree with a “D” at the end is a doctorate.

              MD
              JD
              OD
              DD
              PhD
              EdD
              PsyD

              Some of them also have the D in the front, like a DDS.

              • LMNOP

                Could lawyers call themselves doctor? If so, I’m surprised more of them don’t.

                • Anonymous

                  The vast majority never do, not because JD’s cannot, but because it is not the practice to do so within the profession. This is avoided out of respect for older individuals in the field who acquired their credentials to practice the law prior to the popularization of the JD.

                  If, however, you are a JD and you work in an academic environment (outside of a law school), the practice is to refer to JD’s as “Dr.”

                  • LMNOP

                    Interesting. I am always learning random new things here, I love it.

                    • Mary Burrell

                      Me too.

                  • Tasha Lawrence?

                    That’s for the edumacation sistah

              • Tasha Lawrence?

                Hmmmm…. He ain’t no doctor to me. He needs a doctor.

      • Negro Libre

        Lol, I almost went the PsyD route, because I didn’t want to do research: it’s nothing more but the class Academia vs. Non-academic doctor rivalry that seems never-ending. But then again, I realized that the psych field has a much greater acceptance for BS theories than other fields (they’re still better than sociologists and anthropologists as far as I’m concerned), which played a role in me stepping away from it and returning to the tech route.

        • Akhibrass

          Sociology and anthropology are far more credible in my book because the actually account for culture and don’t claim that their theories apply to all humans. Psychology wants to be a natural science but keeps coming up short.

      • It’s my understanding that no one has been able to confirm his actual degree and that the school does not have a record of him attending or graduating.

    • him and Phil part of the same graduating class for their DRs

      • Tasha Lawrence?

        Ok. Does that make him legit?!

      • Mary Burrell

        At lest Dr. Phil gets paid big bucks and knows Oprah. Dr. Phil looks more credible than this clown.

  • I couldn’t make it through this whole rant. I need some drinks in me first.

    • Tasha Lawrence?

      Don’t bother.

    • you doing it wrong. This is a drinking game. You take a sip *SMALL SIP* every time he stops making sense.

      • The Pengest BK

        Or every time he says “insecure midget”.

  • Negro Libre

    Hotep ? Misogynist or Regressive though ijs.

    • Not exactly, however if it walks like a duck…

      • Negro Libre

        Lots of people fall under hotep and don’t have any of those characteristics.

        • True. But if you gonna go full hotep, you’re gonna have to swallow some misogyny.

          • Negro Libre

            Eh, I see a lot more mysticism in hoteps than misogyny. But I guess it’s now being used interchangeably with black misogynists as an insult, that people have lost a grasp of what it’s actually all about. Ah, social media…

            • Anytime put the Black straight man in the forefront it’s misogyny. The same thing happens in church. It’s just so status quo, nobody questions it.

              • Negro Libre

                Once again, not really the core of what hotepism is all about. That’s a shallow way of reducing why they exist. I think the idea is foolish to say the least, but hoteps didn’t just come about because of a need to elevate the black straight man…and it’s not what attracts men and women to it, or other forms of black consciousness to it.

              • La Bandita

                Nothing you said is incorrect.

          • Epsilonicus

            I do not know a single hotep that does not have a dose of misogyny in them.

        • La Bandita

          Name 5?

          • Negro Libre

            Haha, I ain’t that deep into it.

            That being said, I consider the vast majority of those who identify themselves as “conscious” and embrace various forms of mysticism as hoteps. The misogyny to me exists independent of the hotepism.

            • La Bandita

              I see them as intertwined. Pro Black? Anti Black women.

    • Gibbous

      According to the definition above, Hotep =/= Pan African. It refers to the extremists.

      Hotep refers to Pan-African extremists who often infuse their Pan-Africanism with misogyny, a Trumpian relationship with facts and understanding of context, and a steadfast belief in bizarre and ridiculous conspiracy theories.

      • Negro Libre

        My point is that that’s a redefinition of the term that’s been in usage mostly as a form of insult in social media. But hoteps existed prior to social media, and most of what they are and why they exist, have little to no relation, with any of those characteristics you quoted.

        • To be fair… almost everything and everyone (white racist extremist, feminist, etc) existed before social media. Social media amplified the number of people aware.

          • Negro Libre

            True, but social media has also obscured how people view others they disagree with. Since the interactions are so volatile, they define groups through the lens of opposition, and don’t care if their definitions are completely off-base.

            It’s satisfying, but I’m of the opinion that bad information, leads to bad conclusions, so ultimately there’s nothing of value to it.

  • Dr Pepper is the drink for intellectuals Damon.

    • Tasha Lawrence?

      Which intellectuals doe? The hotep kind?

    • Not like that loser, Mr. Pibb.

    • miss t-lee

      Nah.

    • Val

      I haven’t had a Dr Pepper in years.

      • cyanic

        From your eyes you don’t appear to be a soda drinker.

        • Val

          Lol I’m not.

    • La Bandita

      Soda makes you fat and toothless – its the sugar.

  • CrankUpThe_AC

    LMAO not the first seven minutes though. He needs to be a comedian. I’m watching and this is absolute clownery.

  • Marceline

    I just call them black MRAs.

    • La Bandita

      Black MRAs are usually affiliated with White Supremacy. That would mean the alt right would’ve approved of his message.

  • The Pengest BK

    I’ve seen better promos.

    https://youtu.be/8C4lK41SX-Q

    Plot twist: after his rant, Johnson ordered a YT girl off Backpage.

    • miss t-lee

      YASSSSSS. A fave.
      This is right up there with Hard Times, and To Be The Man.

  • This is…the is the culmination of YEARS of foolishness from this man and others like him. I wonder if people are going to continue to defend Mr. Johnson and his foolery.

  • Lmao @ speak yo speech

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