it was a lie.
the biggest, most comprehensive lie ever to find its way into the hearts and minds of america’s youth, and we bought it, hook, line, and sinker
despite however hard i might have worked or how dedicated to the game i might have been, i never would have been like mike.
never.
ever.
even if i reached my basketball best, completely exhausting my basketball potential, his basketball best would have still been light years better than mine. this isn’t my fault, though. we are all born with certain limitations, and there’s no shame in admitting that.
much of who we are and what we’re able to accomplish is decided before we’re even born. i was a pretty good athlete, good enough to earn a full scholarship to college, but my full athletic capacity still greatly pales in comparison to someone like a lebron james or mike vick…people born with athletic gifts that i never had any chance of ever having. this actuality isnt just limited to athletics. sh*t, i think i’m pretty smart, but all the studying in the world still wouldn’t have made me on par with stephen hawking.
i’m bringing this up because this factor ties directly into yesterdays conversation. it’s no secret that men and women generally have different standards of what is and isn’t attractive. if you break it down across culture and timelines to its most primal form, you’ll find that women are traditionally attracted to power and status (two characteristics which suggest virility) while men are generally attracted to youth and softness (two characterisitics which suggest fertility).
obviously, our current tastes are much more nuanced than this, but you’ll find that those base characteristics are usually the latent foundation for what we look for in a romantic mate, a situation which is undeniably tilted to man’s favor.
the reason why many women remain “intentionally clueless about what men find attractive” is because the hard truth, the fact that much of what men consider when choosing a mate has nothing to do with anything she can do and everything to do with good genes, is a bit too difficult to swallow.
right or wrong, we generally place more of a premium on physical attractiveness than women do, a fact which is largely out of our control, and this “lack of control” greatly contributes to the innate schizophrenicness synonymous with womenkind.
this phenomenon is responsible for the frustration many women feel when learning that their degrees and accomplishments haven’t done as much to enhance their attractability as they thought they would, the “intentional cluelessness” i mentioned before, and the full fledged argument i had with an ex a few years ago who couldn’t fathom how the hell i found esther baxter more physically appealing than jada pinkett-smith. (her argument: “she dresses better!!! and she looks like she tells funny jokes!!! how could you not choose her??? you obviously arent the man i thought you were!!!”)
now, i’m not implying that women who havent been blessed with the best genetic stock need to just roll over and die, lol. there are many factors to consider when choosing a romantic mate, and i’d advise anybody, male or female, to do what they can to enhance what they have.
i do admit though, that women have it tougher than us in this regard. not only does a man typically have much more of an opportunity to “upgrade” his overall stock, we’re expected to.
what does this all mean? who knows.
all i know is that i still wanna be like mike.
–the champ
Hmm, not sure but I think intelligence is genetic. And the obvious phenotype of such genes can result in college degrees (from good schools). I personally don’t want any dumb kids. I also don’t want any dude diluting my genius genes.
but that’s just me. Not saying this is anything definitive, just saying it’s a factor I think plays a role somewhere, perhaps not to my own extremes. And yeah this def plays moreso for men than women. Nobody is really checkin me for my degrees, and I know that, but that’s not to say I don’t do it for the sake of my kids/mankind.
“I also don’t want any dude diluting my genius genes. ”
this is why we love you, lizzard
I know, it was an asshole statement. I don’t really feel that way. Sort of.
LOL!
Hmm, perhaps I should be the typical male and just go after looks instead of looking for a deeper connection from the get go. Apparently, if you don’t exhibit typical behavior, you’re not taken seriously. If you do, then they bemoan you not looking deeper.
rough weekend?
wish it was just this past weekend
its that bad?
Either it’s the places I’ve been cruising or it’s me. Perhaps it’s time to say goodbye to the Southside.
Men & Women are different!
the comments alone on Part 1 proved this over and over. Let’s face it we all look at the exterior first in some ways. You can’t help it b/c the visual hits us first. So…I think it important that both parties present themselves in such a manner that others will notice them. Look at it like this…if you were buying a home your 1st impression comes from the outer appearance. If the grounds are well kept you are more likely to enjoy the inside. If they look a HOT MESS, the inside has the be perfect, that’s if you decide to go in! Whateva extreme you take it is on you.
Women way back in bible days had year long preparations before they were to marry. Who knows what they were taught, the point is they cared for their exterior as well as interior.
Whether or not you cook out of a book or thru embedded recipes, earned 50 or zero degrees, own or loan your possesions, blah, blah, blah….it’s the individual idiosyncrasies that keep both parties interested. If a man wants a woman w/ a degree and that’s it…Myspace is full of them!!!
Degress are so generic now that u don’t even have to leave your couch to earn one( and YES I have my piece of paper too!)
Fat, Small, a 10 or a 5…there is someone who can and will feel your vibe as long as you’re confident in yourself. To me that’s attractive. You are never going to be “PERFECT”
My advice…stay clear minded at all times so you can really see a person for who they are.
“My advice…stay clear minded at all times so you can really see a person for who they are.”
how does one stay “clear-minded” in this regard? i’m not being facetious…i honestly want to hear this
“how does one stay “clear-minded” in this regard? i’m not being facetious…i honestly want to hear this”
Go beyond the surface
“Go beyond the surface”
i mean, i guess this works in theory.
Boy, quit.
The parts are not separate from the whole.
This is gonna sound extra, but i write down, at the very beginning before i’m sprung, things that I notice about the person that I don’t particularly like/could turn into an issue…statements they make, beliefs they espouse, etc. (i may write down the positive stuff too but frankly it’s easier to keep that top of mind). I try to check in with the list every so often to see if things are the same, better or worse. Then I can decide to stay or go based on things other than just how i feel at the moment.
Doesn’t always work for me, but at least that way if things start falling apart over x,y and z issue, I can’t act brand new. Thats as close to a clear mind as i’m gonna get.
good idea, that’s what im talking about
“how does one stay “clear-minded” in this regard? i’m not being facetious…i honestly want to hear this”
Clear
1.free from confusion, uncertainty, or doubt: clear thinking
2. perceiving or discering distinctly: a clear mind
Being a clear-minded individual is keeping yourself focused on reality and the things you want in a relationship. If you come into a situation with your head on…when those feelings start to blur your your perception(and they will from time 2 time…trust) you will most likely be able to check yourself and say “Ok, I am diggin this person, but I didn’t like x, y and z b4 I met them and I won’t have it now.
You and those exclamation points!!! My heart rate speeds up just from reading your comments!!!
Is this good or bad? Let’s consult
“…..the fact that much of what men consider when choosing a mate has nothing to do with anything she can do and everything to do with good genes…right or wrong, we generally place more of a premium on physical attractiveness than women do, a fact which is largely out of our control, and this “lack of control” greatly contributes to the innate schizophrenicness synonymous with womenkind.”
And u know what: that sucks!! It hurts and it sucks and we as girls/women know this about guys from probably the 3rd grade. Either blame it on books/movies – we somehow think u “will grow out of it” – we deem it a sign of immaturity, but u don’t….. AND I have come to terms with that!! It is NOT a sign of immaturity and I have stopped deluding myself.. It is what it is and call me a traitor to my sex, but we as women have to come to terms with this.
Try as we may, this is not something we can change. Yes ladies, it hurts and it sucks ass because we too are initially attracted/drawn to the “good genes” (phenotypically speaking) and we as well want a good-looking man on our arm that will make even gay guys drool. However, it seems that unlike men, if there is not any substance behind that great “make my panties wet” exterior, we will drop u or u immediately go into to the fuckbuddy category. ( I know the latter would be ok for some guys but most girls are not THAT generous and in girl speak – FB status is not a compliment) What truly sucks is that u place too HIGH of a premium on physical attractiveness. It seems that u will do WHATEVER it takes to make it work with someone u find sexually attractive whereas I don’t feel it is the same for women. When I refer to substance, I am not referring to a degree or 6 figures – I am referring to simple things like stringing a sentence together, holding an intelligent & interesting conversation. That is usually a deal breaker for most if not all women when we 1st meet a guy whereas if she is said ”HOT”, you will . In a guy’s eye, a 7 will always be a 7 without the powers of a gym and perhaps some surgery but to girl, a 9 quickly falls to a 6 and a 5 can go to an 8 PURELY based on personality. Our rating system seems to be based on the whole individual unless specifically asked to only focus on the physical. With this said, we then wonder why guys can’t do the same BUT we need to get over and accept it. Whether it is genetic/social – at this stage in the game we can NOT change it and just know that u may be a 7 to one but a 9 to another.
oops… this sentence should have read: That is usually a deal breaker for most if not all women when we 1st meet a guy whereas if she is said “HOT”, you will “still work with her”.
by the way, sorry the post is soooo long.
“by the way, sorry the post is soooo long.”
lol…thats ok. you had alot to say
*high fives and chest bumps BMS…speak on it!!*
I don’t necessarily agree with this. I know plenty of guys who literally wed chicks who are not all that cute. They are not ugly but they are definitely not 8-10 status either. I think guys do look a bit deeper when it comes to choosing a mate. Now if a dude is just dating sure we want the upper echelon of the 1-10 scale.
At the end of the day I always found it mind boggling how women tend to get all upset about men being too into physical attractiveness. Why does it matter? Do You! In my humble opinion if a chick does not like me b/c I am too tall or bald etc. I could care less because you better believe there is a chick out there who loves it.
At the end of the day I always found it mind boggling how women tend to get all upset about men being too into physical attractiveness. Why does it matter? Do You! In my humble opinion if a chick does not like me b/c I am too tall or bald etc. I could care less because you better believe there is a chick out there who loves it.
honestly though, its easier for us to say this because its easier for us to overcome physical “imperfections”. now, obviously this shouldn’t be the end-all/be-all to everything, but you hafta to admit that it does matter more for them
I am not saying it is not easier but sitting around pouting in the corner is not helping the situation. If you are going to do that then take your ball and go home then.
At the end of the day you look how you look so accentuate that shit and keep it moving like others have so eloquently stated.
I just think whining about something that has been going on since the beginning of time and is not going to change is wasted energy. Hit the treadmill with all that penned up agression.
Is that what you tell your daughters?
Don’t have any. But when I do I will be sure to raise them up to be confident women who know who they are and know that although we all crave companionship to never settle for less and not to worry about what the next man/woman insted work on them and a good man will come.
“work on them and a good man will come”
If that were true this blog wouldnt have any comments.
It’s not as simple as just getting over it. But I dont think its an issue that deserves the attention it receives.
“But when I do I will be sure to raise them up to be confident women who know who they are and know that although we all crave companionship to never settle for less and not to worry about what the next man/woman insted work on them and a good man will come.”
I hear ya, but its not that simple. Plus its not your daughters you will have to worry about, its the people they meet that don’t have good intentions. A man can appear to be prince charming, however once you get to know that person, all types of secrets come out of the closet…i would teach your daughters how to be a better judge of character in my opinion.
I just think whining about something that has been going on since the beginning of time and is not going to change is wasted energy.
good point
“At the end of the day I always found it mind boggling how women tend to get all upset about men being too into physical attractiveness. Why does it matter? Do You! In my humble opinion if a chick does not like me b/c I am too tall or bald etc. I could care less because you better believe there is a chick out there who loves it.”
Well it depends on the situation, if its a close friend that you care about that has so much potential to be a great catch for the right woman and he’s dating a hood rat or a gold digger is not cool. It also gets to me when i see a great looking guy and he’s gay (the MAC makeup artist at the mall) that looks like he could’ve been boyfriend/husband material based on looks. damn thats a shame:( …its nothing to loose sleep over, but it is what it is.
[quote]It seems that u will do WHATEVER it takes to make it work with someone u find sexually attractive whereas I don’t feel it is the same for women.[/quote]
Not true. Just physical attractiveness is typically FIRST thing that gets the ball rolling. Once that’s been established, then one can move on to seeing if there is further compatibility below the surface or if all that’s there is just a pretty face and banging body.
“However, it seems that unlike men, if there is not any substance behind that great “make my panties wet” exterior, we will drop u or u immediately go into to the fuckbuddy category.”
I find this statement to be very true, at least from what I’ve observed from my own male friends. I don’t do ‘mimbos’, but I know plenty of guys that will seriously date a girl who doesn’t have a brain to blow out just because she’s built like bonita applebaum.
“However, it seems that unlike men, if there is not any substance behind that great “make my panties wet” exterior, we will drop u or u immediately go into to the fuckbuddy category.”
I concur.
Attractiveness is Key. And you know I do agree most men dont do big women but men love people like Jill Scott and Monique. I think its more of are u WELL KEPT or are u just sloppy. When I am dating this is someone that will be beside me and I might wake up beside occasionally or even be married to and we dont want to be scared. So Attractiveness is key.
Degrees are important but not key. Most guys that I have dated didnt ask but prestigous university did u attend and what is your degree in. Degrees are for your own individual livelihood. My godfather is a vice president at a bank and he didnt finish college so degrees arent everything. We have people that have degrees and are 70 thousand in debt but cant find jobs.
I am not one to flunt what degree I have but I can say that I am independent. My degree is on my fireplace not in a frame yet and I graduated in 2003.
Everybody is different. First thing I check is how u look, then that ring finger……………………………….
I think its more of are u WELL KEPT or are u just sloppy.
and this ties directly into my point about doing what you can with what you have. you can either spend your entire life bemoaning, or work to accentuate your positive qualities.
when you look at it like that, it doesnt seem like a difficult choice
“and this ties directly into my point about doing what you can with what you have. you can either spend your entire life bemoaning, or work to accentuate your positive qualities. ”
Well said. It doesn’t matter what size you are or how pretty in the face you are, a well dressed woman can still turn some heads.
“Well said. It doesn’t matter what size you are or how pretty in the face you are, a well dressed woman can still turn some heads.”
I totally agree.
utc115 said,
“I do agree most men dont do big women but men love people like Jill Scott and Monique.”
Dudes love Monique???? I threw up a little bit in my mouth while reading that. Jill Scott is attractive…Monique? Not even in the same category.
Thanks. I was going to hop on that. I think men dig Jilly from Philly, but no one is knocking down her door.
hmmm…i’d beg to differ. she’s an example of someone who isn’t “traditionally” physically attractive, but has enhanced her positive attributes to the point to where many guys are infatuated with her.
Yesterday you were begging and today your back at it.
*smile*
Many men are infatuated? Would they feel that way if she wasn’t famous?
Yesterday you were begging and today your back at it.
lol…you’re right. i’m officially done begging.
and about jilly, her fame does have something do to with it, but even if she wasn’t a celeb, many men would still find her very attractive.
I think Jill’s draw is her vibe…her confidence and self love shine through…she owns her sensuality and it comes through in everything she does…her appeal is a state of mind that permeates the physical…
Jill’s appeal is that she’s pretty, has a prodigious bosom, can sing, and seems down to earth (I mean, she had North Philly blocks and the playground at Dobbins all up in her videos – she’s gotta be down.)
“prodigious bosom”
thats a lovely word combo
I know many kats who would drink Jill’s bath water if they had the chance.
Trust and believe.
The thought of drinking bath water makes me ill. I guess I’ve never had that psycho infauation with anyone to me motivated enough to do it. I blame it on Boomerang cause I don’t rememebr hearing that phrase before that movie and I thought it was disgusting then.
Actually it was in The Color Purple.
The Shug Avery scene at the juke joint.
And yes…it’s disgusting.
I blocked that movie from my memory. That movie is depressing. I loathe it.
And I’ve STILL never seen it…lol!!
really? i didn’t even realize that. i thought it came from Kwame’s rap song -Ownlee Eue
“i love you like a wife, mother, sister or daughter. worship your every move even drink your bath water”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kbNwGQbIiYs&feature=related
(i need help, and i know this)
get it Pattycakes I’m grooving w/ eue
Miss P—
Color Purple was out in ’85.
Ownlee Eue ’round 90.
i know miss t-lee, i was one tryna tell these brothas to watch it last week. i just forgot it was even said in the movie. shug was so phly.
I think they are a lost cause Miss P.
They ain’t gonna watch it.
Kwame’ was cool. I liked “The Rhythm”.
“Push up, pull up, sit up, get up and fed up / Shut yo’ lip up, and let’s go head up”
Don’t know why that was always dope to me.
Plus, “I don’t drop my pants / for no raggedy Annes”
Actually, the phrase is older than The Color Purple, the lady who ran the orphanage in Annie made mention of it.
And y’all need not act new like you ain’t seen Annie.
The thought of drinking bath water makes me ill
i vote that we officially retire this phrase, as well as “she looks so good i’d suck her daddies d*ck” from our lexicon forever, lol. there are dozens of other hyperbolic phrases we can use to describe attractiveness instead of those two nasty-ass ones
wow, I’d never heard that one champ.
“she looks so good i’d suck her daddies d*ck”
-Agreed
Yeah, this statement is so homo…I’ve never seen a woman that fine that made me want to say that.
“she looks so good i’d suck her daddies d*ck”
Blame that ish on Biggie…If I remember correctly he’s the one that put it down on wax…lol
“but no one is knocking down her door.”
What makes you say that??? She just got engaged and she’s only been divorced for like 5 minutes.
That’s probably more of my opinion, but I wouldn’t knock down her door.
Scratch the probably, more like obviously.
So you’re a guy? I thought you were a woman.
Even when I don’t particularly find a guy attractive, I can usually see why others would.
I’m all woman. And my reasoning on what makes women attractive is WRONG.
And my reasoning on what makes women attractive is WRONG.
lol…i’d like to hear this, your reasoning.
“Thanks. I was going to hop on that. I think men dig Jilly from Philly, but no one is knocking down her door.”
Not so fast my friend. I would wife Jilly in a second if her personality is anything like her music suggests. I have plenty of guy friends who share this same feeling about Jill.
Alright, I have no idea what men find attractive, and if baffles me all the TIME!
“Alright, I have no idea what men find attractive, and if baffles me all the TIME!”
Yeah it’s sort of me trying to figure out a woman’s rationale I just let it go…..Let it go and be free like the wind b/c trying to understand it is pointless. Lol!
Word to ya mother.
“I do agree most men dont do big women but men love people like Jill Scott and Monique.”
Please don’t put us cute big girls in the same category as Monique.
thank you and good night.
Oh yeah and dudes swear up and down they won’t date a big girl, but I’ve never had any issues meeting men. lol
***mississippi mass choir***
I don’t have trouble meeting men either…but I will admit…the men I meet (typically) don’t have as much between the ears as they do between the legs…(lawd but between them legs though…wooooo!!) like I said a few days ago…”sex is easy…what else you got?”… I need my mind stimulated and most of the men I meet just don’t “do it” for me…like the prophet 8ball said “f*ck the mind and the body will follow”…I can count on one hand how many men have done that for me!!!
“the men I meet (typically) don’t have as much between the ears as they do between the legs”
I have the inverse of that problem.
“I have the inverse of that problem.”
I have run across more “tripods” than “tummy thumbs” but I have been there too…lol
I call them thumbkins.
Not a good look.
“I have run across more “tripods” than “tummy thumbs” but I have been there too…lol”
Stop!
“like the prophet 8ball said “f*ck the mind and the body will follow”
Any woman who quotes 8 Ball is allllllllllllllright with me!
(wink) thanks luv
I second that.
i know men that do like her. But i think her mouth can throw you off a bit.
i know men that do like her. But i think her mouth can throw you off a bit
“i dont believe you, you need more people”
Well I am a big girl and I have been dissed by many men. But they love to hit me up for some sex. A guy told me a few weeks ago that big girls are clean with low mileage. WTF.
Back to Monique………….I am sorry for using her as an example. She isnt ugly…….
“A guy told me a few weeks ago that big girls are clean with low mileage. WTF.”
I hope you punched him in the face.
Real Talk.
CTFU
She isn’t ugly but she’s a hot mess with them hairy azz “Black women don’t shave” legs.
“”Black women don’t shave” legs.”
She really needs to stop spreading that myth!!!
Just because she walks around like a wildebeest doesn’t mean the rest of us do.
her hairy legs aint the only problem.
You’re right…but I don’t have all day here LOL!
I’m gonna steal a phrase from the VSB’s.
“Please expound.”
(only cause I really wanna laugh today)
she has a body like an inflated balloon and she isn’t cute in the face (to me). Everytime I see her in anything my dick goes flacid. The father of her twins mustve been drugged during conception or he was really hard up for pussy. Just thinking about that when I typed has killed my libido for the day. I will apologize to affected parties in advance.
The previous opionion was that of deviant mind and does not reflect (although it should) the opinion sof those on this or any other blog.
she is built like a bag of trash! stuffs herself into outfits that are NOT figure flattering (regardless of her lack of actual figure)…she has “meat” coming over her pants looking like a busted can of biscuits!!! talking about she’s a size 16…b*tch please! I am size 16 and I don’t look nothing like that there hot mess hunny! booooo!
“she is built like a bag of trash”
i’m totally stealing this
it’s yours…lol…
talking about she’s a size 16…b*tch please
Ain’t no way in heyll she’s a size 16. Maybe in Torrid sizes…hahhaha!!!
Monique isn’t ugly…but she isn’t cute either! her HAIR is cute (sometimes), but that’s it man!!! that’s it!!
I’m not fucking your hair..unless you don’t wax
@Deviant…
GROSS….lol…and wax is a no no on the nookie (tried it…thought I died and gone to Brazil!)…like I said before…a 1 guard with an edge up suits me an mine just fine…LOL
More like a southside fade.
@ T-Lee…not a SOUTHSIDE…I am dying…I wouldn’t do that to the thunder cat… I put a cesar on the pleaser…trim the trim to the wave pattern, cuz I got iiiiiindian in my faaaamily! lmao!
“I put a cesar on the pleaser…”
and you wonder why you stay in the corner
@CHAMP….I don’t “wonder” why I stay in the corner… I just “wonder” why nobody else is…LOL…I stay in the corner in “real” life…so it’s nothing new…:) you know I like it when you order me around and shit…
ha!
the russian women out here hook it uuuuppp…no pain, no gain. you might even wanna take pictures of it and shit. Now can I go to the corner too? I like seeing The Champ order Goodie around too, cuz then she comes up with even better lines. It’s like watching a dirty movie. (giggling w/my hands over my eyes)
@PatteeCakes…oh lord, now he’s goign to say I’m a bad influence and ish…but the waxing ain’t for me…I just keep “her” trimmed up because you neer know when you are going to have company…plus I heard the “grow back” is a b*tch! lm(red)ao
“big girls are clean with low mileage”
…(can you see my face?)
i hope you kicked him in his nut sac.
“But they love to hit me up for some sex. A guy told me a few weeks ago that big girls are clean with low mileage. WTF.”
Say that!!! It amazes me that a lot of men that approach me want to creep with me but don’t want to have a public relationship… Ain’t happenin’ Captain.
real talk….for alot of guys I have come across in my travels, having any type of relationship beyond “thats just some girl I know”, “she holds my balls when I am bored” or “she pays my light bill” is like a demerit on ther pimp membership. To get around it they will just keep it under wraps if they feel the need for cushion pushin. Dates and such are just out of the question. I’m not saying its right or wrong I’m just saying what is.
Deviant says,
“having any type of relationship beyond “thats just some girl I know”, “she holds my balls when I am bored” or “she pays my light bill” is like a demerit on ther pimp membership. To get around it they will just keep it under wraps if they feel the need for cushion pushin. Dates and such are just out of the question.”
Damn D, I’ve been guilty of this in the past. I’m sure I’m far from the only one though…
“She holds my balls when I am bored.”
I love it.
okay!
I’m a big girl too UTC115
ditto…u should’ve punch him
men find me attractive just like they find small girls. i still believe there are men out there that on the surface say they will never date a big girl, but their mind says something else. We spark curiousity
There’s been a movement over the last 10 years by women to force men to acknowledge/admit/confess that they/we find Monique attractive. I guess women think we should feel that way because she has a babyface, which does not equal attractive, necessarily.
I’d rock and roll with Queen Latifah (assuming she were interested in me *wink, wink*) any day of the week. I suggest we make Jill Scott and Khadeejah the current joint consuls of fly black female bigness, like during the Roman Republic.
” I suggest we make Jill Scott and Khadeejah the current joint consuls of fly black female bigness, like during the Roman Republic.”
I will allow it.
I’ll go with that. Plus that Kim Locke chick from American Idol years ago. I seent her in person on Belmont’s campus in Nashville. Huge tiggoes very bangable. She could be a junior consul or something
Oh schnapp, now that we’re talking about cute big Kims, let’s not forget Kym Whitley. I used to watch Oh Drama on BET with the lights down low, the door locked, and incense burning. She can be like the governor of Britannia or North Africa, or something.
Kim Fields? what about that?
I agree on Kym Whitley but I wasn’t watching that show with the lights off. Seent her in person too in Memphis. Looked better than on the TV set.
not Kim Fields…she eff’d herelf up with the goldie locs…she was cute as REGINE…but after that…no dice!
I was talking about the Living Single version.
That makes me think of something tho..why do black women dye their hair blonde? Why is this cool? It almost never looks good. Then to go with it they’ll go natural which makes absolutely no sense..I’ll let my hair go back to its natural texture but I’ll shit on the good karma and dye it the most unnatural color I can find. It makes no sense.
My best friend just dyed her hair blond last week and said that she feels like she looks more like Beyonce lol.
Beyonce’s evil influence must be ceased. She is destroying the minds of women everywhere
Yeah blonde is a mess.
Please tell she wasn’t intentionally going for the Beyaki look. Was she?
Kim Fields was definitely ‘do-able’ as ‘Regine’. Tocarra deserves an honarable mention also but I’ll have to put a muzzel on her mouth cause that loud, obnoxious, sassy mouth isn’t attractive at all.
I used to watch that show to watch Vanessa Bell Calloway…on some real MILF sh!t. I guess she had me since Coming to America…arf! arf! arf!
she was badass
Still is. You can catch peeks and glances of her on Baldwin Hills (her daughter is on the show.) She’s one of those MILFs that’s still gonna have it well into her 50′s, on some paragon of Good Black Don’t Crack stuff.
“I guess she had me since Coming to America…arf! arf! arf!”
you know, i’m still mad that she didnt have a nude scene in that movie. i mean, it was R rated already, so what would have been the harm in a little peek at vbc’s goodies?
I met her (Vanessa) in a cafe years ago in Brooklyn. She’s even more beautiful in person, real petite too.
I always did think Kimberly Locke was fine. Perfectly thick and those d@mn dimples…yeah, she could get it.
I always did think Kimberly Locke was fine. Perfectly thick and those d@mn dimples…yeah, she could get it.
yeah…she’d get the 45 minute long chili dog
“long chili dog”?
What qualifies her for that?
Champ why does she have to be a 45 minute Chili Dog?????
so now my question is what size is too big????????????
because clearly you havent seen Kimberly Locke in a while because she isnt big to me
because clearly you havent seen Kimberly Locke in a while because she isnt big to me
Yeah…she’s no longer a member of the big girl club.
*handing The Champ a napkin to clean up the mess*
lol…this is just my way of saying “she’d get it”
If her waist is bigger than her hips or her bust I cant, and I wont!
good way to build the ratio…I concur on this! so it is written!
I read somewhere that the ideal waist to hip ratio is .7. It’s one reason so many guys got off on Marilyn Monroe back in the day even though she was a little thicker than the average starlet- she had perfect proportions. In terms of attractiveness, it’s supposed to be right up there with facial symmetry and good skin.
“I read somewhere that the ideal waist to hip ratio is .7. It’s one reason so many guys got off on Marilyn Monroe back in the day even though she was a little thicker than the average starlet- she had perfect proportions.”
That goes back to the notion of our innate instincts to mate with the woman who is best fit for child bearing…hence the term “child-bearing-hips”.
I’ll take the Queen.
What about Jackee’ aka ‘Sandra’ from 227. She wasn’t huge but she’s a thick chick fa real. Haven’t really seen her lately though.
I love it when Black people tell the truth.
Champ hit the nail on the head today. And it sucks on some level, but once you get out of denial, you can get on with the rest of it. Like champ said, if you didn’t win the genetic lottery you can still do fine if you are realistic.
For example, most homely/not that cute chicks you know that are married? They didn’t get picked up in a club/lounge or bar. They usually went to school with dude or did some other activity where their personality had a chance to grow on somebody. You have to know what you’ve got and work with it.
It may seem harsh or hard hitting, but like i said i love it when people tell the truth.
“I love it when Black people tell the truth.”
ummm…me too, lol.
“For example, most homely/not that cute chicks you know that are married? ”
I know a few, but they weren’t like that before they got married.
LOL, yeah I got a friend that’s going through that now. His wife pulled the ol’ “We-married-now-so-phuck-it” view of keeping her self up. She was a dime (she still a looker, but not what she was 4 years ago at 25) and he’s trying to deal with it.
@AkShone…has he brought it up to her? she may not think there is an issue…I’m just saying…cause telling you about it ain’t gonna fix what’s at home…and if it ever came out that he was (publicly) displeased with her, it could be more hurtful than helpful…(been there, divorced that!)
You are absolutely right, the public thing would really bother me. But imagine a dude telling a chick that she needed to step her looks game up. Figuring out how to have that conversation without being assaulted would take some serious planning and strategy…the negro probably needs some backup/ outside help LOL
He told me he’s been dancing around the subject. We work out and run regularly and there’s nothing like seeing a sista who works out, so when we peep a sista gettin’ her LA Fitness on, he be on some “man, if I can just get (insert wife name here) to come workout with me, but she ain’t tryin’…” He said she’s gained about 25 pounds since they’ve been married…and they have no kids! So now he’s like, “Man…what’s gonna happen when she drops that seed!”
I guess he doesn’t know how to bring it up without offending her and as they say “Happy wife means happy life” and “Angry wife means you’re f*cked!”.
Yeah, comparing her to chicks that work out isn’t gonna get it done. How long have they been married? Sounds like she’s got some other stuff going on if this weight gain was random and sudden; self reflection/self help book/therapy may help more than a gym.
And on a side note, no man should ever refer to their current or future children as their ‘seed’. That needs to be thrown out with the ‘bathwater’ phrase.
the reference to “seed” is in relation to the woman being the “earth” in which God plants his “seed” to grow the nations…Gods and Earths and shit…ya know…not some whacked out – skeet skeet type “seed” ..but that soulful, meaning-filled type “seed” ya dig?
I feel you GOODENess, but i still just can’t stand the phrase. I’m not earthy enough
I really don’t think he’s “comparing” per se. I think he just really loves her and sees her potential to be who she could be. As far as I know she hadn’t had any tragedies to come up in there 4 years of marriage, but I’m an outsider looking in.
And yes, Goodie had it right about the “seed” term…women are the earth.
this is gonna sound really ignorant, but couldn’t he just have more sex with her. that’s working out, isn’t it? seriously, sex has a way of aggressively reminding you how you look naked to your mate & where you need to keep it tight. it might motivate her to take the physical game up to a new level. same goes with buying her lingerie. ladies, am i wrong?
I’m totally with you on the sex as a workout plan. I might hand back on the lingerie though…if she feels self conscious, and he buys the wrong size, it might just make it worse.
I read somewhere that you burn the most calories at 0rg@$m…so that is a whole lot of sex…and what if she gets pregnant before he works her back to her pre-wedding-cake shape? it’s a proven fact that when you are in good shape before you have a child, you have a better chance of “bouncing back after baby” (which is the title of a workout video I own, lol)
A slippery slope man…and not in a good way!
I would think constant banging would make her think everything is everything and she would keep sucking down cookies. I dunno. I’m not married and I have not and any issue with talking about something that bothers me with the woman I see. She knows its not malicious. She is programmed differently than most women tho. I don’t know what to say to the regular girls.
Sex as excercise is bullsh!t…unless you slappin’ bellies, sweatin’ buckets and keeping your heart rate bpm well above normal over 30 min (not including foreplay).
Don’t get me wrong you’ll burn some calories, but not that much that it’ll make that much of a physical difference…if so that person has A LOT of time on their hands, lol!
@Deviant…”keep sucking down cookies”….you have a great point! lol… but again… I am from the school of ….”If something’s on your chest then let it be known, cuz I’m not your every 5 minutes all on the phone” ~T.Trotter…nahmean!
@AkShone…I agree…to even get to target heartrate while knocking boots is a feat…then you gott o maintain without arriving? when it gets “target heartrate” good…the climax ain’t far behind…he should just tell her he loves her…and break it down…use visual aids…before and after pics or something….pics always help me track weight changes…LOL
Or he could spend some time with her doing something physical instead of going to the gym with his friend. Just my 2 cents. Only 24 hours in a day, take at least one of them mofos and do something new with your wife; not rocket science.
your friend knows what he can and can’t say to his wife…he has to speak her love language…use her currency…it doesn’t even have to be him voicing discontent…it could be as casual as “babe, I’m going to the gym, you wanna go?”…but if the light and fluffy approach doesn’t work…maybe something along the lines of sitting her down and talking with her about it…for real…like a grown up…wait for her to make a weight related comment…and use it as the gateway for an exchange…if it is a genuine issue, he has to take it seriously in order for her to take it seriously…even if it’s superficial…attraction to your spouse is paramount…he can even throw something in there about concern for her health…or something…but it needs to be said…time waits for no man…
“he has to speak her love language…use her currency”
I think I detect a relationship-book sistren
@ForReal…can’t say that I have read any relationship books…but I wouldn’t be opposed to doing so…any suggestions?
There is actually one called ‘Love Languages’ that talks about speaking your partners love language and using their currency. I thought that’s where you got phrase from…looks like you don’t need a book since you’re quoting ish by yourself!!
those are child psychology terms that I have learned apply to every relationship…LOL…
no the sex activity ALONE won’t make her lose pounds, but the awareness of her body that comes along with being naked all of the time..might, just might encourage her to put forth a little more effort at the gym.
Damn, that’s why I cant marry anyone that wouldn’t tell me the brutal honest truth.
Good point. Letting yourself go once you get in a relationship is just wrong, no matter how busy you are. You enter into an implicit contract and it’s just not right to change the game up. Exceptions made for medical issues beyond your control.
Oh so true. One of my homegirls was telling me how her husband got mad at her for getting yet another tattoo and she just could not understand why he was upset.
My Response:
“He has a right to be mad you going out there changing the product”
I mean if I bought a Camry LE 8 Cylinder it is not going to turn into a Corolla on the way home. Chicks need to stop changing the product what you catch a ninja with is what you will keep him with.
*what you catch a ninja with is what you will keep him with.*
Exactly.
“what you catch a ninja with is what you will keep him with.”
verdad!! that ish works on MEN too…lol…I could see hubby being mad about more ink if he didn’t get prior veto power…I mean that ish isn’t an individual decision once your committed to someone else…not to mention…(speaking as an ink freak) body art isn[‘t a fly by not decision…or at least it shouldn’t be…I would be mad too…more mad if it wasn’t fly! lol…
Yeah she just has selfish tendencies like that. I am not into the ink so I know I would be heated if wifey came home with a tat that was not there when I said “I Do”.
Her arguement was that it was not that big right before she said she was planning to get yet another one. Keep in mind she had NO Tats b4 they got married. They got mattching Tats for an anniversary and then she just kept getting them. I heard them joints are addictive though.
they are VERY addictive…especially if you like pain…but she was mad selfish to do that PERMANENT shit to herself without consulting her husband…smh…I would be HEATED!!! not that it matters, but, what did she get?
I love my work because, for me, the location of the ink becomes an erogenous zone because the needles make the area more sensitive…I have 7…I will stop at ten (been planning them for years)…and you can’t see any of them when I have clothes on…you can’t get a eff-n tweety bird on your calf at 19 and still be proud of it at 29…that ish don’t happen…
@GOODNess
“not that it matters, but, what did she get? ”
She got some ole typical tat like an ankh or something
boooooo! lol…. I hate that for him… I feel bad for people in general that aren’t feeling respected/appreciated in their dynamics…men get taken for granted on this…women are always told…(keyshia cole) if he don’t love you, the way he should, then let him go”….but women do the same ish to their men…a sister wouldn’t be expected to stay where she isn’t cherished…why should a man? not saying that your boy doesn’t feel cherisched or whatever…just that these types os situations lead to bigger resentment issues than necessary! ya dig?
an ankh indeed…
“He has a right to be mad you going out there changing the product”
***”only God can judge me”***
***”only God can judge me”***
ha! I have a tattoo that means something like that…LOL
true! on both sides of that coin…men do it too…but there’s is more behavioral…ie not doing what he did to get her to keep type ish…which (in some cases) leads to dissatisfaction manifesting itself physically…not saying it’s ok by any means…just saying…the ish happens…and some learn from it…others don’t…
So true, behavioral change is just as bad…you should never start anything you can’t finish/keep up, girls and guys.
yes, i agree. men do this too. in fact every family sitcom embraces this phenomenon. a fat large beer belly havin’ man with a petite chic on his arm. i’ve seen a lot of brothas let themselves go before they even got married. what’s up with dat?
Good point. Letting yourself go once you get in a relationship is just wrong, no matter how busy you are. You enter into an implicit contract and it’s just not right to change the game up. Exceptions made for medical issues beyond your control
future vsb.com entry topic, btw
This is why I love vsb man. Black people telling the truth
I agree
The same things you did to hook him/her are the same things you should be doin 2 keep him/her
“i had with an ex a few years ago who couldn’t fathom how the hell i found esther baxter more physically appealing than jada pinkett-smith. (her argument: “she dresses better!!! and she looks like she tells funny jokes!!! how could you not choose her??? you obviously arent the man i thought you were!!!”)”
Ha! This reminds me of conversations that I had with my ex. His taste in women didn’t make sense to me either. He thought that Halle Berry wasn’t that beautiful because she was too skinny, but would say the most random chicks were attractive who just really looked average to me.
I’m not sure if completely agree with this post though. I agree that genetics determines beauty and attractiveness (some people are just naturally blessed). I think looks are important, but I know quite a few beautiful women who have the worst luck when it comes to dating because it causes a lot of insecurity in men and they dump them for less attractive women. They don’t like the attention that their women gets by other men and then worry that they might be cheating on them. I also see a lot of my close guy friends date very beautiful women but then settle down with a women who’s less attractive but has the “wifey” characteristics. It makes me believe that men look for more than attractiveness when choosing their gf/wife….
“It makes me believe that men look for more than attractiveness when choosing their gf/wife….”
i’m not disputing this. all i’m saying is that it’s a huge factor in our decision
oh, and btw…
“He thought that Halle Berry wasn’t that beautiful because she was too skinny, but would say the most random chicks were attractive who just really looked average to me. ”
…although i disagree with this actual statement (halle’s not pretty???), i do see his overall premise.
i can walk downtown pittsburgh during my lunch break today and find a chick working at macys or foot locker who’s more physically attractive than 99 percent of the women on tv, but i can see a woman looking at that same chick as an “average pittsburgh chick. aint nothing special about her”.
ya’ll are funny
Halle’s definitely dope, but I do feel she’s overrated…always have. After she’s been through all the dudes that she’s been through, I think she may have some deep-rooted issues that makes her less attractive. She’s still a banger though.
My current beau and I discuss, ok more so me, the attractiveness of his exes and I cant fathom what he saw in these chicks. At all.
“I cant fathom what he saw in these chicks”
LOL!!! It’s always like comparing apples to oranges.
My current beau and I discuss, ok more so me, the attractiveness of his exes and I cant fathom what he saw in these chicks. At all.
ah, the infamous chick logic shows it’s deadly head again
“ah, the infamous chick logic shows it’s deadly head again”
I’m sorry I cant! Even when we’re in a gentleman’s club, the chick I get a dance from a 10 and the chick he chooses a 7.
word…but we are harder on women than men are…but I feel you…all my strippers are at least 8+…or I just don’t get a dance…how bout that!!!
Goodie! I thought you were gonna tell me when to cover my eyes???
@ the CAKE…I decided against putting picks in my comments…but if it comes to that…I will warn you first love, no worries…LOL
“all my strippers are at least 8′s”
this was a good t-shirt day
“all my strippers are at least 8’s”
this was a good t-shirt day
I’ll take that in XL, please.
Not always true. I had a dude once whose exes looked just like him…built like him too (man-hips, bird chest, etc)…not a good look.
lol…too funny
pics plz
LMYAO!!
lol. I saw a pic of my last bf’s ex and the girl looked so similar to me that it kinda freaked me out – same complexion, hair, body shape, and we almost had the same b-day (she was born 1 week before me). He definitely had a type…
(twilight zone music) that IS creepy as hell…
Well, at least he knew what he wanted.
gigi…come on…I might think it in my head…(if I ever even see any of his exes other than the co-parent) I may even mention it…once…but conversation(s) about his exes attractiveness sound like a train wreck waiting to happen…obviously he upgraded…so… don’t go chasing waterfalls…lol
I’m attempting, at least that’s what I tell myself, to understand his carnal desires.
his carnal desire is YOU…own it gal…lol…he likes 7s…you are more than a 7…so he feel licky…allow him that… lmao
My ex used to do that all the time and it just came off as insecurity. Why do you care what them other chicks look like, you got him now right?
Because if I’m your woman I wanna know what makes you stiff, and what will keep you stiff.
Some where between fascination and penis envy.
@gigi, he prolly didn’t date them for looks. Men are just weird like that..no pun intended guys, but its true…i have this friend that dated a not so attractive girl, they called her the mexican (not sure why). All the female friends in the group could not figure it out as well. His personality is totally different from his and she didn’t strike me as his type. Well we decied to asked his guy friends and they said that they call her the Mexican, because she puts in work like a bobble head…(rolling eyes) MEN go figure.
“they call her the Mexican, because she puts in work like a bobble head…”
daaaaaaaaaamn! ok…but she wasn’t even cute and their personalities didn’t match…hmmm… I wonder which pair of goggles he was wearing to even find out about her bobble-headed-ness…(making stink face)
It’s a mystery to me…chic was not cute at all. He even took her on a trip to the mountains. He wasn’t wearing goggles, just plain blind if you ask me:-)
I wonder which pair of goggles he was wearing to even find out about her bobble-headed-ness…(making stink face)
brain goggles
Sloptastic head is a powerful drug…
AkShone,
“Sloptastic head is a powerful drug…”
Yes, it is.
“I cant fathom what he saw in these chicks. At all.”
I know exactly what you mean…especially when their so-called fantasy chics are flawless. You have to wonder, does he just have low standards in real life? and if so am i the first reasonably attractive person he’s dated. wait! am i attractive? or have i been looking in the funny mirror all this time? lol!
“I think looks are important, but I know quite a few beautiful women who have the worst luck when it comes to dating because it causes a lot of insecurity in men and they dump them for less attractive women. They don’t like the attention that their women gets by other men and then worry that they might be cheating on them.”
Honestly, the last few women I have dated were really hot, but I’ll never do it again. Its not that I ever worried that I was being cheated on, but having your woman checked out by every man and half the women you walk by is just an annoyance you’d rather not deal with. At first its cool. Really REALLY cool. But as time goes on, you take an “L” everytime you go out with her. You are powerless to a lose-lose situation because no one is does anything outright disrespectful enough for you to speak on it. But the looks happen so frequently but you can’t help but feel like a chump.
Honestly, the last few women I have dated were really hot, but I’ll never do it again
dammit, now i guess i’ll hafta pick up your slack and bag the hot chicks you refuse to date.
curses!!!!!!
I’ve heard from more than a few men that beautiful women were nut jobs.
I think a lot of very very beautiful women do have to deal with a lot of non-sense that can turn them into evil heffas. Plus, being placed on a pedestal by everybody can turn a level-headed person into a raging asshole.
“raging asshole”
sounds painful…
me and one of my buddies from the TLH have a saying, “don’t put p*ssy on a pedestal”. We’d remind ourselves of that at least once a week.
Just doing our best to restore balance to the world.
kamakula shared,
“me and one of my buddies from the TLH have a saying, “don’t put p*ssy on a pedestal”. We’d remind ourselves of that at least once a week.”
This should be a Man Law.
I want to agree with your ex. Is Halle Berry fine or does her money make her fine????
Is Halle Berry fine or does her money make her fine????
halle could be the manager of the starbucks in the basement of my building and she’d still be just as fine, lol.
sh*t, even in “jungle fever” i kept getting distracted by the storyline cause i kept thinking “who the hell is that fine-ass crackhead????”
who the hell is that fine-ass crackhead????”
LMAO
Yeah…Halle Berry is just hands down fine.
She got good genes.
She hot.
She makes my liver quiver.
Any dude who thinks Halle Berry isn’t fine is lying. Don’t ever trust him.
Halle is ugly
“Halle is ugly”
Wow. I don’t think I’ve ever heard any man say this.
Ever.
I’m in complete shock.
i’m pretty sure deviant was referring to james halle, special education professor at UIUC (university of illinois at urbana-champaign) and NOT halle berry.
he is a hideous bastard
I’m talking crazy. Sometimes I’m one of those guys that has to go against the grain for absolutely no reason. I’m a hater. The Playahaters Ball is my favorite skit ever. If they had this event in real life I would attend every year faithfully just to tell everyone to kiss my ass. I hate you all.
Need a date?
If you don’t mind being hated on constantly. I might just tell you “fuck you” for fun. Hope you aren’t sensitive.
“I might just tell you “fuck you” for fun”
this immediately goes into the potential t-shirt hall of fame
She is a beautiful woman…most folks will tell you.
But she has had some serious issues…
didn’t an ex beat her, knock part of her ear drum out?? now she’s vowed never to marry again
I guess it’s painful being that beautiful after all
I think guys do look for more than attractiveness when they want to settle down.
If she is beautiful on the outside, as the years go by, her beauty will begin to fade. Not totally(especially if she’s a sista-we age very well).
There has to be something there to keep him engaged. That’s where personality and stuff comes n2 play
“innate schizophrenicness synonymous with womenkind.”
This hurt, because it’s true.
“innate schizophrenia synonymous with womankind.”
This hurt, because it’s true.
hurt so much you had to say it twice, lol?
damn…i’m sorry
I vow to comb my hair err day starting 2009. Thank you VSB
Mikki,
girl quit. LOL
That was once my New Year’s resolution.
Maybe I am just dogg ass tired today, But I felt compelled to embrace the whole truth today. I need to work on my physical appearance, I be wearing 2 diff color socks, my shoes talk, and my hair looks like don king. My reasoning is “im working hard love me foo!!” So I am gonna stop that and start looking cute….
next year, cuz its costly to look sexy, shiddd thats half my income
“I be wearing 2 diff color socks, my shoes talk, and my hair looks like don king. My reasoning is “im working hard love me foo!!” So I am gonna stop that and start looking cute….
next year, cuz its costly to look sexy, shiddd thats half my income”
MIKKI…you are killing me…lol…tell me you’re joking? please? lol…where you live…I will come show you that being cute does not take a bunch of money nor does keeping your hair combed take alot of time…lol…if you live close…I will style you and do you hair for free until 2009 begins…I just can’t have e-fam going out like that…LOL
girllllllllll I live in the Metro Detroit area, and I need help. Thank you for reaching out to the VSB fam we need more people like you lol..
you saying you can help we gonna do extreme makeover VSB, I already got braces on my teefus so thats one less thang u gotta worry bout!!!!!
*fell down on the floor*
eff dat mama..I will e-style you…I will find ish…and locations in your area..sales and ish…and I am sure I can arrange a trip just to put some braids in your head, locs, sew in a weave, a relaxer or something…lol… you think I am playing…but I am SO FOR REAL… hit me on my gmail and we can get started!!!
No! Not the relaxer!
lol gigi its ok girlfriend I don’t do relaxers, we do good old fashion hot combs round here!!!
Goodeness I know about 100 hair stylist in the city, they live on every corner lol. I just don’t want to pay for it lol.
I am on a cute strike til next year but i will hit u up fa sho when I am ready so we can go all out.
@MIKKI…AAAAAALREADY! (TX style)…lol…I didn’t know what you did to the head in general…so I was just naming the common is…I can swing a hot comb too nah…I don’t have a relaxer either…but I rock my AFRO-disiac…lol…if I flew way to your hood…I wouldn’t just hook you up on GP…lol…sp get at me!
“AAAAAALREADY! (TX style)…”
I KNOW you from Tx now…’fa sho.
Wait…I got some sista naturals in here too?
YES!!! *pumps fist*
(laughin so hard my face hurts)
Mikki, you are crazy girl!
You gotta start somewhere. and lookin cute doesn’t have to cost a lot Goodeness is right. I went thru a rough spell for a min myself, but I started lookin at pics and sayin dayum! is this how other people see me? That’s when I had to snap out of it. Treasure yourself first, then others will follow
***key to retail shopping is to wait for the sale, they always have one***
Alrighty every body just come down to Detroit and we can have a relaxer free pow wow!!!! wooop durrrr issss!!!!!!!
gettofiyed sex in the city VSB style (Detroit version)
if yall can make me over for 50 dollars or less I will pay for dinner lol.
and I have to like it!!!
aight!
I on the way gurl
I vow to comb my hair err day starting 2009. Thank you VSB
you’re welcome.
I think we need to dig deeper and question what is attractiveness? And what is intelligence?
When it comes to attractiveness, I’m more of a well rounded type. I think that a woman keeping fit, nice hair, classy shoes, bags and outfits with a nice face is WAY more attractive than a really hot woman who’s look plays more toward her sexiness than her class.
I also think that her face should be a nice complement to the rest of her, not the focus. Clearly I’m in the minority.
As far as intelligence goes, I’ve DEFINITELY met people who I am smarter than who have more advanced degrees than I do. I think we need to differenciate between “being a good student” and “being smart.” You can have all the degrees in the world, but you need to apply what you’ve learned in the classroom to your entire life in general, not just your field of study/profession. Lacking this ability is the reason why having a degree(s) has failed to make some people more desireable.
“classy shoes, bags and outfits”
I thought guys didn’t pay attention to this type of stuff.
Some of us do. I’d never date a woman who doesn’t dress better than I do.
Gotcha.
“classy shoes, bags and outfits”
I dig that too. But it’s still physical though.
I think we need to dig deeper and question what is attractiveness? And what is intelligence?
good questions.
anyone care to take a stab and shit?
i think intelligence is knowing when to apply your knowledge and wisdom to everyday situations
“When it comes to attractiveness, I’m more of a well rounded type. I think that a woman keeping fit, nice hair, classy shoes, bags and outfits with a nice face is WAY more attractive than a really hot woman who’s look plays more toward her sexiness than her class.”
YOU FRIGGIN ROCK!!! lol
Esther Baxter over Jada Pinkett-Smith huh?
I know you didn’t get to go to sleep that night…lol
i slept, but my night didnt have any “happy endings”
That was a given.
For the record…she is way finer.
Jada is cute and fun-looking. And I’d totally holler at her.
But I’d talk myself out of trying to holler at Esther on some, she’s out of my league shit.
thats the thing i dont think she understood. i think jada’s fine as hell, and if given the opportunity, i’d probably holla at her first. but, if you just broke it down to base physical attractiveness, there’s no contest.
Esther looks like LeToya with a body.
Not my type.
LMAO
Would you wife a chick that got hit on every time she stepped out of the house?
Would you wife a chick that got hit on every time she stepped out of the house?
yea. i’d just move to the country, lol
*speechless*
Yeeeaahhh…One Time for Video Models..lol!!
Women shouldn’t worry too much about this. I know I don’t. Of course you should look your best and take care of yourself, but I’ve noticed that no matter how ‘homely’ or flawed a woman is SOMEBODY finds her attractive.
Being overweight is not a fatal flaw…there are PLENTY of men who dig them. Being 100 lbs overweight would definitely yield fewer results and definitely isn’t a good look…but some dude out there will wife her – I see it all the time.
See men all the time with overweight women…and no the men aren’t ugly either.
“Being 100 lbs overweight would definitely yield fewer results ”
Don’t believe the hype.
I’m not saying fewer results in general. I’m saying that if the same woman lost 100lbs she’d get hit on twice as much. Happened to a friend of mine. BUT, like I said, it isn’t a fatal flaw and I know that overweight women aren’t sitting @ home twiddling their thumbs on a Friday night like lots of people assume.
K–I see both sides of the discussion.
I went from a size 16 to an 8, of course I lived in LA, and the same men that didnt give me a second look before were falling all over themselves.
I was the same person just a little less to go around.
Yeah, but here’s the thing. What are any given guy’s *standards* for what he finds acceptable? (or you you can attempt to analyze this question whne looking at men in teh aggregate.)
I hold that all of what you just said is totally true, but that the average guy doesn’t ask for too, too much in terms of how attractive a woman be. Further, I’d argue that on average, the bar women set for what is appealing tends to be relatively higher than the bar that men set for what is appealing.
An analogy: men are like the college that holds SAT scores as its only criterion for admittance………but will accept anyone with a total score of 800. I’m exaggerating a bit to drive home the point that while looks are tremendous to us, our thresholds don’t tend to be prohibitive.
I’m exaggerating a bit to drive home the point that while looks are tremendous to us, our thresholds don’t tend to be prohibitive.
this SAT analogy is a good one. taking it even further, someone who gets a 1600 (a dime) can get into any school, but at the same time, that chick who only scored a 1050 (a “5″ or “6″) still has a chance to get into many schools, but she just has to strengthen up her resume.
also…your SAT score doesnt predict college success (which, in this case, could be an analogy for relationship success)
I get where the analgoy is going and agree, but the SAT really was designed to predict a student’s success their first year of college. It’s definitely imperfect, biased and everyone has figured out how to game the system, but i felt it was worth saying.
I get where the analgoy is going and agree, but the SAT really was designed to predict a student’s success their first year of college.
off-topic, but i used to teach SAT prep for the princeton review a few years ago, and the only thing a high SAT score indicates is your parents income. parents income, not first year college success, or intelligence, is thing that correlates most strongly with high SAT’s.
that’s funny, i did too (or i was trained too, long story) which is where i got the info on what the test was originally designed to measure. now what it actually measured…i don’t really disagree with you.
I didn’t know this. Good info!!
Hey all…back after a LONG week in Vegas!
I like this topic…because I think it speaks to a very important factor in dating/mating. For centuries, men (and women to a lesser extent) have been the way they are now…conditioned to be attracted to physicality first, and then personality second. It was like that even in the Bible. The patriarchs didn’t have ugly wives.
Now, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and everybody is attractive to somebody. As a woman, if you want to maximize your “powers of attraction” if you will, TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. Make yourself pleasing to the eye, so he WILL want to check out the rest. No man (at least none I’ve ever met) wants a sloppy or unkempt woman…if he does, you might wanna question his self-esteem and/or mental state.
“…if he does, you might wanna question his self-esteem and/or mental state.”
good point. i think many people in situations like this truly feel that their significant other would definitely choose a different option if they had access to more options
I totally agree with this, J Boogie.
Hi! Was I missed? Probably not, but lie to me anyways.
… and to comment on the topic. THIS is why I am glad I have huge boobs and great ass. They compliment my sexy eyes and 2 bachelor’s degrees.
heeeeey girlie!! you were missed…
(FYI – I was showing the pics of your kids to my pregnant friend this weekend…)
“THIS is why I am glad I have huge boobs and great ass. They compliment my sexy eyes and 2 bachelor’s degrees.”
you ma’am…are a MESS…LOL
awww someone is having a baby!!!
I’m looking for a foster family for the boy (my internet name for him is The Manchild) for the summer. He eats too much and makes too much mess. Interested?
“Hi! Was I missed?”
of course and sh*t. your always has good comments, and you help us to fill our perfunctory white person quota.
glad to hear it. you know imma helper!
I will stick with my first statement that you have to be WELL KEPT. My cousin is a prime example. She is a big girl. It runs in the family but she has men falling all over her. this weekend she had a youngin try to holla at her.
I know I am a cute BBW. I could stand to lose some pounds but alot of guys tell me I dont smile enough and I know I am moody as hell sometimes and that shows. These are things I have to work on. If I dont like my own body why should someone else love it.
“If I dont like my own body why should someone else love it.”
**First Sunday Communion Service**
Everyone has stuff to work on.
I agree on the well kept thing. I’m a fattie myself and being hit on or finding a man has never been an issue for me.
Smile more. You would be surprised just how little an action can make so much difference. Oh and shiny lips. Keep your lips shiny and smiling.
Good tip…smiles go a long way. So-called beautiful women seem to sometimes miss that point…nobody wants a sour puss…
This is part of Jill Scott’s appeal.
what is a MILF???
Mom I’d Like to Fornicate
MILF = Mom I’d Like-To F*ck…or when you are the “mom” in question using the term in reference to yourself…it’s MYLF…mom you’d like-to f*ck…lol…
http://www.myspace.com/goodeness7399 up in this piece!
Let me help you out.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=vR6-wkaLuxE
Mother I’d Like to F*ck
Usually used to describe f*ckable slightly older women (the ‘slightly older’ doesn’t always apply)
Yeah…think Claire Huxtable circa 1988, she set the bar for little black boys across america.
I’ve always liked the term “MILF” over the term “Cougar”…cougar’s scare me, but MILF sounds like milk and I like milk…
*Now picturing a MILF pouring milk. (Smiles)*
I’ve always liked the term “MILF” over the term “Cougar”…cougar’s scare me, but MILF sounds like milk and I like mil
this made me choke on my gatorade ice chips
LOL! First man-tini’s and now milk… You have a thing for beverages, huh?
Yep, beverages are sek-zey time…it’s nyce!
I think attractiveness and the ability to keep a mate may not be the same thing.
As a pretty hot piece of ass myself, I don’t consider myself a man magnet as much as man fly-paper. Sure I can get them to stick to me but once things get hot they fall off. I could be an optimist and say well I’m just choosing the wrong guys. Or I could be a pessimist and say I’m not as “the-shit-ly” as I give myself credit for.
In either case, I have seen it proven time and time again that there is someone for everyone, you just gotta find yours…
“As a pretty hot piece of ass myself…”
lol…you cant make that statement without providing proof
@SHAY (and CHAMP)
I am agreeing with CHAMP here…come on SHAY…we are gonna need a picture…you can’t just proclaim “hot piece of ass”-ness without offering exhibits to the court…photobucket link please and thank you!
@PatteeCakes…NOW cover your eyes…LOL
ok…but i’m gonna peek a little between my fingers. shhhhh…
Goodie n Pattie are cute like two sisters playing a blog game. lol
@WuDa….(wink) wanna play?
It only takes one…..right?
“I think attractiveness and the ability to keep a mate may not be the same thing.”
@SHAY…I agree with you a million percent…the initial attraction will hook them, but what will keep them?
Can I get a vsb podcast for today? I am going home sick and need to lay n bed, I need to be able to listen to the funnies of the day.
“man fly-paper. Sure I can get them to stick to me but once things get hot they fall off”
can we put that on a t-shirt please!! this is the best one yet, I am dead now.
Can I get a vsb podcast for today
*pending*
Ha!! I’m mad I’m coming in all late on this. But work had to take the front seat. Anyhow…You ain’t never lied. If your ass isn’t born pretty (and I’m talking about god skin, symmetrical face, etc.) then you are short. Your best bet is to find a way to make a lot of money so you can get some plastic surgery. Thing is, you still run the risk of ending up with ugly kids. I digress. I’ve said time and time again, women market themselves TO men according to what WOMEN want. It’s the dumbest thing since Cop Rocks!
Here’s the heirarchy I’ve seen:
Teir 1: Dope loking, thin chicks who have no kids and can put three sentences together about something they didn’t see on BET.
Teir 2: Dope lookng, thin chicks who have no kids and can’t put three sentences together.
Teir 2: Dope looking, thick-to-plump chicks who have no kids and can put three sentences together about something they didn’t see on BET.
Teir 4: Extra regular chicks with no kids and a pleasant attitude.
Teir 5: Extra regular chicks with kids and a pleasant attitude.
Teir 6: Extra regular chicks with nasty attitudes and everyone else.
Oh and chicks who can count and create a correctly numbered list are also in Teir 1. The second #2 should be #3.
I can assure you that life damn sure aint easy for the tier 1 chicks like myself. I dont even know how they’re eating on the bottom of the barrel…
I totally agree with Shay, just cuz you can get a man doesnt mean you can keep him. Or that you even really want what youre getting anyway!
Truer words have never been spoken….just cuz you can get a man doesn’t mean you can keep him.
Also, I am willing to bet that there are more single pretty ladies than ugly ones. So what explains that? Everyone can name at least 3 ugly people that they know married, but they can name twice as many pretty women who are single.
Word up V I think Jarod up above was working at getting to that point. Where he wanted people to talk about their definitions of attractiveness and intelligence.
I have always been of the impression that attractiveness can get you in the door and a little nut face (sorry see Miss Patterson below) but intelligence can get you job security and promotions and raises.
Funny you should mention this. I was at a conference with the old coworkers. They were all shyt-faced (y’all know how they can do). One chick turns to me, in front of my boss (a man) and says, “You know he only hired you cus you’re hot?” Boss’s face turned red. Easy on the eyes DOES get you in the door. But you do have to put a sentence or two together to stay there once you get there. However, I don’t think you have to be nearly as smart as your mud-duck counterparts. They have to WORK to stay when all an attractive person has to do is show up to a few happy hours, work (lower case), and bring sunshine into the lives of coworkers.
“Also, I am willing to bet that there are more single pretty ladies than ugly ones. So what explains that? ”
Two words: Expectations & Entitlement
daaaaaaaaaaaaamn! you typed that!!!
You are absolutely right AkShone. Ugly woman thinks, “This might be the only man who asks me out…Lemme make this work.” Ugly man thinks, “This is the best thing I’m going to get to consistently sleep with me and she doesn’t get on my nerves…Lemme make this work.” But pretty and fine think, “Da hell s/he think I am? I don’t have to put up with this shyt!”
Chris “The Truth” Rock said it best:
You are only faithful as your options.
Say Word!
Too true.
“Oh and chicks who can count and create a correctly numbered list”
I’m definitely in that category. I’ve made a couple of incorrectly sequenced lists on vsb myself. LOL
“Your best bet is to find a way to make a lot of money so you can get some plastic surgery. Thing is, you still run the risk of ending up with ugly kids. I digress.”
I officially hate you…(but love you, lol)…if you don’t have to come to the corner for the above statement…I am calling BULLSHIT until Thanksgiving…LOL
I can’t stay quiet on this one.
Fuck all that! ALL Skinny chicks can kick rocks like Barney Rubble! Thick girls and Big girls run it as far as I am concerned! And there is no size limit, as long as it is carried well and in proportions i find attractive. I tend to like big girls whose weight is more centered in the hips/ass region. But that’s just me. So for me there are only 2 tiers.
1. Cute Thick and Big girls with emphasis on the Ass development, who never speak to me about ANYTHING on BET and get my sense of humor. Kids/no kids, whatever. Buck loves the kids!
2. Kick Rocks!
Thank you. This message is for the people.
And fellas, stop acting like you don’t like big girls. Everyone likes a big girl, it’s just that some of y’all are scared of what your punk ass friends will say about you dating one. Fuck the social standards. In better societies fat people run it anyway. So enlighten yourself and get with the heavy!
Oh how I’ve missed you Big Buck…lol
Love it!
way to rep for the BG’S!
I miss you BUCK…I was just wondering where you (and Genius Khan) were…but this made me even gladder to see you back love…know what you like…and don’t be afraid to like it! DOPE-ness!
Aww daddy loves you all too! I won’t stay away so long again. The last time I went to the corner I had such a good time that I didn’t want to leave. It’s real nice in the corner……if you’re nasty!
@BigBuck….you got me blushing over here…you KNOW I am the Queen of the Corner…damn…lol
I know baby, that’s why it was so much fun over there! But remember you promised not to tell anyone about that thing I did to you……….LOL!
@BUCK…(blushing) that reminds me…I got a box of bibles that I need help moving……can you help me?
Buck, you made my heart smile.
Tier 4 is the most treasured group for us normal dudes. Those girls are ALWAYS taken and complain about their lovelives the least.
@Scipio Africanus (I still absolutely LOVE your name BTW) …what makes a sister, extra regular?
I’m reading “extra regular” as basically regular, but a little above that. Like leaning towards being fairly cute, but fundamentally regular. She’s not the girl you fall aslepp at night dreaming about, but after you’ve been around her for awhile you might mess around and develop a shonuff crush – and that’s just based on her looks alone, not to mention her personality.
oh…I get it now…but does that mean that cute (un-thin) girls with crush-able personalities get left in the dust?
Actually, when I used ‘extra regular’ I mean below regular. Like a chick who could be regular is she just ran a brush through her head, stopped wearing sweats with holes, took her hair out of that snatch-back pony-tail once in a while, and smiled dammit. But until she does at least TWO of those things, she has regular potential. What I don’t mean is that she has to be made up, half dressed, and with every hair on her hear perfect.
“You ain’t never lie”
lol. I KNOW you’re from the ‘D’, Hostess. I used that exact phrase in reference to a comment you made the other day.
“DETROIT WHAT!!”
The D, NGA!!! THE D!! <—I don’t actually talk like that but that’s like the universal HELLO for all folks from Detroit. That, and WHUPPUP DOE?
Gosh they are some ignorant folks in the D.
Yes, there is. They’ll be ok if they just get out of the city though and explore new things. And I’m not just talking about taking a weekend trip – they just need to lose a lot of that Detroit metality.
I still rep for the ‘D’…just can’t live there
you had me at heirarchy
I agree with today’s post in terms of what first ‘draws’ a man in. And I’m sure there are many situations where your physicality takes a backseat to some other qualities depending on whether the dude wants you for a f*ck buddy, a girlfriend or a wife. But I think the reality of the situation sort of BURNS. The fact that a man is gaga over an Esther Baxter type but won’t wife her cuz she doesn’t read as much as I do, doesn’t really make me feel all that warm and fuzzy inside. F*ck the degrees, the personality, the wit, the charm and ladylike qualities- I want to be an Esther Baxter all by my damn self. I want to know that a guy likes me for all the WRONG REASONS. I’m just being real. Being told that a guy stepped to me because I’m approachable doesn’t help me sleep better at night. Great I have a personality. “whoo-fuckin’-wee!” I’d rather be somebody’s wet dream. (i just set females back about 100 years. thank you and good night)
And why are women like this? Doesnt matter how many degrees we have, how much personality, how many positive attributes we have besides our looks, we still want to be the one that makes men get their nut face on.
duh. because we like the nut face.
But is that really it? Sheit, men really arnt that damn complex in the bedroom. ANY woman can see that same face he gives you in bed, but how many people get to see the other faces he shows only you?
When I want a man, I want to see all of him, and I want him to see all of me. To say that all it boils down to sex/fantasies is over-simplifying matters.
ANY woman can see that same face he gives you in bed, but how many people get to see the other faces he shows only you
This is good stuff.
Seriously.
“To say that all it boils down to sex/fantasies is over-simplifying matters.”
See this isn’t what I’m saying what I’m saying is that I don’t want to hear that a guy stepped to me because I struck up a good conversation with him about Chaucer or bcuz the dime piece he was tryin’ holla had a nasty attitude. I want to know that he stepped to me because he thought i look-ded goooood. There was a male commenter on here about a month ago who was like (and i’m paraphrasing) “my girl is really smart and has a nice personality but the reason i stepped to her is because ‘she’s fine as baby hair’.” That’s what I’m talking about. I don’t wanna ‘win’ you over with shit…I want to know that it was physical attraction first. call me crazy, but that’s what i want to know (or at least believe).
You say this because it sounds as if it never happens to you, but another woman that is physically blessed wishes that what happens to you happens to her and she wants to be seen beyond her beauty.
Watch what you ask for…you know the rest.
I was just going to say. All the attractive women I know have a hard time believing men/taking men seriously/showing men too much hope because they’re so used to getting played because of their looks. It’s a huge conflict between knowing what you are worth and knowing how you are seen, and this makes for a lot of trust issues that can damage relationships in the future.
@Jess and Akshone
This is too true. Im a good looking woman. Not to toot my own horn but it really is true. I have stereotypical good looks. But when a guys steps to me talking about how beautiful I am he almost never gets any love. That ish gets tiresome after a while, its like, what else is new? Do you really think I havent heard that before? Cant you talk to me about something else?
I think many women that are deemed really good looking are seeking a little bit more than good physical attributes in their partners.
Doesnt matter how many degrees we have, how much personality, how many positive attributes we have besides our looks, we still want to be the one that makes men get their nut face on.
(high fives DOM) that’s WTF I’m talking about!!!
Goodie, you’re supposed to be hi-fiving me! You telling me that you’ve never wanted to be objectified for your physicality alone. not even a little bit?
dude! I thought that’s what I was high-fiving for!! I meet men allt eh time and that is what they come at me with…how good my legs would look around their neck… lol…or that my shoes would look better in the air…etc…men don’t find out that I can speak English until they shuddup…but they don’t care..they want to f*ck…so I know they are attracted to me…and I admit…I love feeling like others appreciate my “sexy”…but then what?? so, I repeat…
the attention I’m getting, I don’t want..and the attention I want, I ain’t getting!
oh. i see.
i’m gonna take my blankie back to the corner now. i feel so alone. *looking for tissues and dark chocolate dove bar candies*
this is mean, jealous patteecakes:
boo hoo! you get objectified on a daily basis. i feel soooo sorry for you. maybe you, halle and esther should start a support group called: I’m sexy, but no one sees the real me.
*stomping off to corner with a double-deuce of MGD in one hand and a blunt in the other*
ps- i still e-luv you goodie, just jealous.
Miss P aren’t you on the west coast? Cause i heard things are a lil different out there. if you wanna feel objectified, head East (or South)
@Pattee…pass the blunt hunny…I need to practice my inhale…lol…I am objectified depending on where I meet cats…a non-mainstream club… spoken words show…”the” Wal-Mart…on the train…it just depends…but when they see me for me…they don’t last because by then I see them for them too…and I am not liking what I see…u see? you should stop through the “D” on your way east…I will take you out with me so we can get you all “objectified” ok?
so don’t stomp to the corner…have some swag wit it! lol…and puff puff pass! (not really, but I’m saying)
@P…one mo thang…I ain’t NOWHERE near no Esther or Halle…but I own mine…lol…if I don’t love it..who will?
east coast 2009!
Looks like 2009 is gonna be a big year for the peeps at vsb. LOL
i want to make sure i’m on the same page…what other faces?
Like the one when he first wakes up in the morning, looks at you and realizes he’s in his favorite spot. Or the when you see how happy he is to see you at the end of the day. Or the face he makes when he gets all worried because you have cramps. My point was that there are a million different faces a man can make especially when he is in love with you.
Basically, he can nut face with anyone but being there to experience the rest of the faces is so much more fulfilling. IMO the nut face is nothing compared to the seeing the others and knowing he is more than one dimensional.
oh yes those faces…yeh i love those faces. who doesn’t? i’m just saying i want both… le sigh.
“Like the one when he first wakes up in the morning, looks at you and realizes he’s in his favorite spot.”
DOM are you trying to make me cry?? damn I miss that face!! he just ahd to go and fuck it up! (smh) but I really do miss that face…DAMN!
“(i just set females back about 100 years. thank you and good night)
duh. because we like the nut face.”
***Ya’ll seriously just made me CTFU***
*I’M POSTING THIS ON BEHALF OF A FRIEND WHO DIDN’T HAVE THE BALLS TO* (part 1)
Yeah, I will say that generally I am not the girl u are tripping over to talk to in the club/bar… I am NOT saying that I am unattractive/ugly but if I am truly honest with my self, by current standards of what is in heavy rotation on MTV and even VH1 (I’m not even touching on BET), based on the physical – I may get a get a range from 5 to 7. The 7 probably comes from the nice complexion, nice smile/eyes/face thing but no, my body is not banging and that is where the 5 and 6 come from. Everyone wants to feel desired and as females we know what needs to be done to move up in a guy’s rating system. Yeah it hurts that if I am labeled a 5 you may never talk to me and see that I am crazy cool and all that good stuff but I had to come to terms with that and not over generalize that all men are dogs and are just after looks… We all have our own physical preferences when it comes to the opposite sex and some are just more steadfast than others. I can’t fault you knowing that even if a guy had a great personality, his head on straight and was taking care of his “business” but had a GUT or a serious bubble ass he most likely would be stuck in my friend zone for a VERY long time. I’m human too and a body like Rick Ross is not doing it for me so why would I get bent out of shape if I am not someone’s cup of tea? It is not fair, but such is life. Yes the physical can be changed easier than personality/habit but not everyone wants a “fixer-upper”.
If u ask one of my girlfriends to “rate me”, I will probably get a 7-8 and she will be dying to fix u up with me b/c I would be perfect for u but when u meet me, ur initial reaction may be to scratch ur head (not dig out ur eyes or run), but by the time dinner is over u secretly understand the higher rank. It is up to you in regards to what u will do with this new found “knowledge”. Do u give into to what seems to be ur SUPRISING reaction that u seem to be physically attracted to me after all and I am this great package of a girl: disarming, charming, cool, SANE, witty, open-minded to a fault, intelligent, funny and dare I say cute. OR do u dismiss me b/c ur boys will not immediately be envious with me on ur arm. If the decision is the latter – I will not cry myself to sleep: sometimes things are not meant to be and once again some guy’s 7 is another’s 9. If I seem “well adjusted” – please don’t think this was an over night process. This was a decade-ish in the making to get to this point. One of my FEW regrets in life (besides not doing more study abroad during HS/college) is that I did not acknowledge or rather ACCEPT the apparent (and perhaps innate) differences between men and women earlier (mid/early 20’s would have been nice).
Miss P, i applaud your girl’s honesty and self-adjustedness (nope, not a word but it fits)
Part 2: * A post on behalf of my friend, who was too scurrrred*
And by the way, what is this perceived obsession with a “degree”? I will put my self out there: I have a doctorate; I make over 6 figures, but that is icing on my cake that hopefully u will partake of. That was not done to make myself more marketable to the opposite sex. I KNOW that I have many more redeeming qualities than my bank statement and credit report. Unfortunately, when getting to know someone, what u do for a living comes up in the 1st 15 minutes of convo so people have some idea that “my bills get paid” but no one knows how much I truly gross and doing so would be in bad taste. I sometimes even over generalize or try to be vague about what I do b/c I don’t want males (or anyone) to see it as a “selling point”… When looking for a potential mate, is a degree a prerequisite – NO!!!! In all honesty, it is not even on my “list”. A degree is not the end all be all; a degree maybe required to pursue ur particular goal, but not everyone wants to be a neurosurgeon and that’s OK. A degree whether it is a BS/BA, MS/MA, etc. does not directly translate to neon sign over ur head reading “intelligent”, and just b/c u do not aspire to be the neurosurgeon does not mean u are complacent. Not everyone can be the professor, someone has to be the 3rd grade teacher, and someone even has to be the janitor. MONEY should only be a small piece of the pie in regards to ur relationship on the whole.
This is a good post.
Miss P. Let your friend know that we would welcome her insight. Don’t be scurred!!!
@miss P…shit with all that going on…I might want to holler at her…(ok I couldn’t even type that with a straight face) but if you don’t love you…ain’t nobody else gonna love you…and you don’t want ninjas that just want you for your resume…WTF…bring her with you to MIC CITY to visit me and Iwill get you NOTH “objectified” in no time…LOL…
Alot of the girls down here are bad built…I am talking shaped like Johnsonville Brats!!! hotlinks….and everything other tightly packed meat snack you can think of…and some brothers are so conditioned to seeing that…that when something less sausage like comes along…it’s like Pavlov’s dogs!! sometimes I wonder if the holler I get is simply by default or if it is an actual tribute to my overall cuteness…pero, no hay de que… LOL…PATTEE and MysteryChick…come on down!!!!
See, I don’t know. You’re in the south?? I found men down there were conditioned to see and LOVE bigger women. When I bring my single digit wearing ass down there ain’t nobody checking for me like THAT except for the dudes who just moved down there in the last 4 years.
~Hostess
“She’s pretty but she needs some cornbread and greens.”
***snaps***
Miss P, I 2nd her emotions! and plz tell her to stop being scurred. She has powerful insight. I’m gonna re-read this…
your girl was speaking the truth. tell her to join in.
Amen to the sista who wrote that, she spoke the hot truth!
“serious bubble ass ”
I have seen bubble asses and it is not a good look!!
*Singing get right church and lets go home*
yeah, i can see that. i’ll agree to your post
Thank you for telling it like it is. I’m a connoisseur of evolutionary psychology, and have been telling my sistah girlfriends the same thing for years. I even lost a friend because she was so pissed.
I think it was my “Well look in the damn mirror. We aren’t getting any younger, and men our age will leap over us to get to women half our age because they look better.”
She labeled me sexist and thought I was being ridiculous because we both have degrees.
“Well,” I said, “a man can’t fuck a degree.”
“Neither can I!”, she screamed, “but that doesn’t stop me from dating men our age and older!”
“But you rarely if ever date non-degreed or broke-azz niggas, either.”
She couldn’t agree to disagree because it hurt too much. She kicked our friendship to the curb over something neither of us have any control over.
Champ, you’re right. The biological unfairness of what makes women attractive to men is hard for women to swallow. I’ve seen lots of women other than my friend choke on it.
I’m lucky. My late mother aged gracefully, and told me, “One day you’ll have to move over for the next generation, because this is how the world turns.”
As for advanced education, it’s great all by itself, and ladies, it will especially help yo’ azz when you hit 40 and have a good chance of being divorced or still single and your marriage chances to guy with your earning power or better is statistically close to nil.
I’d like to add one more bit of info to your article.
Men aren’t simply attracted to youth. A young woman with a good hip-to-waist ratio will beat out another without it. The waist should be 2/3 the size of the hips. This is an indication of maximum fertility. Virtually every beauty queen has this.
The further the hip-to-waist ratio deviates from this, the lower the fertility of that female. Doesn’t mean she can’t get pregnant, just means it’s a littler harder.
Women have also evolved as masters of camouflage, from clothing to makeup, hairstyles, extreme dieting and surgery to keep that youthful appearance.
Children don’t have a 2/3 waist-to-hip ratio, nor do women as they age. They have ‘apple’ shapes. This is a built-in visual clue designed by evolution that these human beings are not desirable effing partners (except to the elderly guy who really loves his wife or can’t get a young thing).
This is why both sexes find it repulsive when a man has sex with a kid or the elderly. (Messing with kids is disgusting and immoral, but that’s a given that everyone already knows, even those who cross that line.)
Sex takes enormous energy, and for it to be directed to the non-fertile goes against the grain of the evolutionary rule of bear fruit and multiply or yo’ azz will become extinct. It’s unconscious and hardwired into our brains, even when we don’t want kids. Regarding our feelings about this, as I said in one of my articles, Mother Nature could care less.
Great post.
Wonderful comments and I checked out your blog. Powerful doesn’t even begin to describe it.
ForReal, Thanks, I appreciate that.
To Kit
*Monk starts the slow clap*
Standing up to clap AFTER Monk…Opening my cellphone to do that lighter-esque thing they do at concerts.
damn. this comment brought a tear to my eye.
wait, nevermind, thats just some dust.
still, great comment though
Wow Kit! F*ck a degree Im tryna get smart like you be!
DANG IT KIT!
Now im addicted to 2 blogs…this one and now yours..
r u happy!
great comments