Dating, Relationships, & Sex, Lists, Theory & Essay

mercy, mercy, me…please?: the four cruelest things women consistently do to men

cruel kerry

its a conspiracy. a c-o-n-spiracy.

you see, bobby brown was a prophet, a modern day nostradamus sent from God to warn us all of the merciless nature of the typical woman with his genius “don’t be cruel“. realizing this, the national council of cruel women siced a seemingly sweet-hearted whitney houston on him, stringing him out and making him lose sight of and forget his earthly purpose.

the very smart brothas at verysmartbrothas.com haven’t forgotten, though. taking the torch from grand minister brown, here’s the four cruelest things women consistently do to men

1. keeping friend-zoned guys around

not only are most women aware of the hapless friends they have who are patiently hoping for a never occurring opening, they have no problem with taking advantage of him once he’s in place…and giving him just enough of a tease of a potential opening to keep him there.

there are myriad ways that they do this, but my favorite is the wistfully nonchalant “i wish there were more guys were like you. why can’t i find a good man?” they’ll utter to the emasculated cat driving them to ikea so she can replace the bed her maintenance man just helped her break the night before

bastards.

2. asking loaded questions with no right answers

from “do you think i’m gaining weight?” to “do you find her attractive?”, women love asking men unanswerable questions more than fat asians love pumas. at this point, i either answer by repeating the question “why? do you think you’re gaining weight?” or just saying “jello”

3. flirting with happily attached men

seriously, i really think that they have clandestine national meetings underneath williams sonoma’s every other weekend to discuss which one of us are in a relationship (“at approximately 4:26 eastern standard time last sunday afternoon, james jackson of albany, new york proposed to his longtime girlfriend“), decide when and how exactly to attack (“he’s particularly vulnerable between 12:25 and 12:50 wednesday afternoons right before he has his lunch“), and delegate who’s going to be leading the charge (“kim, since he has a thing for leggy women and is particular about his cologne, we’re gonna need you to slide up to him in line at wendy’s this week and compliment his new kenneth cole black. he also has a thing for business women, so make sure to wear your bangingest pants suit. a slight french accent would be cool too, since he’s infatuated with haitian women“)

while this is extremely lecherous, it’s nowhere as bad as…

4. “the boyfriend”

the boyfriend is the name for the scenario that occurs when a man has spent an entire night talking to, laughing and dancing with, and getting to know a seemingly unbelievably compatible woman, only to be hit with the “hey, what type of movies do you like? i’m really into p*rn, tarentino flicks, scorsese, and old nba highlight films. i love spielberg  sometimes too, but not as much as my boyfriend does” right before he’s about to ask for her number.

bastards.

fellas, i know i’m missing a few. do you have any more examples of relentless cruelness you’d like to share? also, ladies, i need to know: why are you all so damn cruel? is it our fault, or did God just make you that way? is it nature, nurture, or the alcohol?

explain yourselves and sh*t

—the champ

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Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a contributing editor for EBONY.com. He lives in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes. Reach him at damon@verysmartbrothas.com. Or don't.

  • Leila

    the scenario that occurs when a man has spent an entire night talking to, laughing and dancing with, and getting to know a seemingly unbeliviably compatible woman, only to be hit with the “hey, what type of movies do you like? i’m really into p*rn, tarentino flicks, scorcese, and old nba highlight films. i love spielburg sometimes too, but not as much as my boyfriend does” right before he’s about to ask for her number.

    That’s why you should ask up front lol.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @Leila,

      That’s why you should ask up front lol.

      thing is, women say that they hate when guys open conversations with that question.

      don’t try to justify your evil.

      • superwoman

        @The Champ,

        don’t try to justify your evil.

        HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! i am so killed!!!! you KILL me!!!

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          @superwoman,

          i always write down and keep your comments in my pocket so i can look at them if im having a bad day.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          @superwoman,

          i always write down and keep your comments in my pocket so i can look at them if im having a bad day.

      • superwoman

        @The Champ,

        don’t try to justify your evil.

        HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! i am so killed!!!! you KILL me!!!

      • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

        @The Champ,

        *slaps forehead*

        Not, upfront as in the very first statement you make to her, but when you are actively in conversation. Don’t wait all the way ’til the situation expressed in your post.

        • Roger

          @Cheekie,
          *slaps forehead*

          Not, upfront as in the very first statement you make to her, but when you are actively in conversation. Don’t wait all the way ’til the situation expressed in your post.

          I agree with Cheekie, I usually ask within the first 5-10 mins though so I won’t waste any more time then i have to.

        • Roger

          @Cheekie,
          *slaps forehead*

          Not, upfront as in the very first statement you make to her, but when you are actively in conversation. Don’t wait all the way ’til the situation expressed in your post.

          I agree with Cheekie, I usually ask within the first 5-10 mins though so I won’t waste any more time then i have to.

      • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

        @The Champ,

        *slaps forehead*

        Not, upfront as in the very first statement you make to her, but when you are actively in conversation. Don’t wait all the way ’til the situation expressed in your post.

      • http://stuffghettopeoplelike.wordpress.com Stuff Ghetto People Like

        @The Champ,

        thing is, women say that they hate when guys open conversations with that question.

        That would be funny though…

        Man: Psst…hey you, tell me something, you got a man?
        Woman: Ehhh, nah, why?
        Man: Sup, love, [pops gum and offers her one] how you doin’, baby, my name’s Champ, nice night, eh? How ’bout them Pirates?

        • Ivy St.

          @Stuff Ghetto People Like,
          She’d probably say Pirates suck and keep it movin. If she doesn’t, then YOU should walk away.

        • Ivy St.

          @Stuff Ghetto People Like,
          She’d probably say Pirates suck and keep it movin. If she doesn’t, then YOU should walk away.

      • http://stuffghettopeoplelike.wordpress.com Stuff Ghetto People Like

        @The Champ,

        thing is, women say that they hate when guys open conversations with that question.

        That would be funny though…

        Man: Psst…hey you, tell me something, you got a man?
        Woman: Ehhh, nah, why?
        Man: Sup, love, [pops gum and offers her one] how you doin’, baby, my name’s Champ, nice night, eh? How ’bout them Pirates?

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @Leila,

      That’s why you should ask up front lol.

      thing is, women say that they hate when guys open conversations with that question.

      don’t try to justify your evil.

    • Omar

      @Leila,

      “That’s why you should ask up front lol.”

      Then we lose points for being presumtuous… We should be told upfront, you know he ain’t approach you to be friends.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @Omar,

        i think they should just wear signs

        • http://fromselahwithlove.blogspot.com/ Selah

          @The Champ,

          Hmmm. why would we get mad if you ask that? The question isn’t the problem. The problem starts when after I say Yea, I have a boyfriend, and the dude still keeps trying.

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

            @Selah, oh you all get mad. you all are all like, “why for come you would just go straight there? you don’t respeck me enuff to even ask me how i’m doin’ or try to get to know me first? i’m a laaaaaady.”

            yeah, something like that.

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

            @Selah, oh you all get mad. you all are all like, “why for come you would just go straight there? you don’t respeck me enuff to even ask me how i’m doin’ or try to get to know me first? i’m a laaaaaady.”

            yeah, something like that.

          • Selah

            @Panama Jackson,

            LOL I didn’t know we all spoke like that, too. I pretty much cosign everything Happy Meal said down there (insert arrow here)

            It shouldn’t be the first question…. but it should be in the top few, i think. Cuz if not, the women have the right to spring that ish on you.

            hmmm. Now that I think about it… I only say I have a boyfriend if after talkin to the guy for a while and I feel like he is a lame. Then it’s like NVM! I’m TAKEN! (which should be read as: TAKE YOUR LAME AZZ SOMEWHERE ELSE)

          • Selah

            @Panama Jackson,

            LOL I didn’t know we all spoke like that, too. I pretty much cosign everything Happy Meal said down there (insert arrow here)

            It shouldn’t be the first question…. but it should be in the top few, i think. Cuz if not, the women have the right to spring that ish on you.

            hmmm. Now that I think about it… I only say I have a boyfriend if after talkin to the guy for a while and I feel like he is a lame. Then it’s like NVM! I’m TAKEN! (which should be read as: TAKE YOUR LAME AZZ SOMEWHERE ELSE)

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            @Selah,

            I only say I have a boyfriend if after talkin to the guy for a while and I feel like he is a lame. Then it’s like NVM! I’m TAKEN! (which should be read as: TAKE YOUR LAME AZZ SOMEWHERE ELSE)

            if he’s lame, why are you talking to him for a while?

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            @Selah,

            I only say I have a boyfriend if after talkin to the guy for a while and I feel like he is a lame. Then it’s like NVM! I’m TAKEN! (which should be read as: TAKE YOUR LAME AZZ SOMEWHERE ELSE)

            if he’s lame, why are you talking to him for a while?

          • Me fail english?

            @Panama Jackson,

            lol@ the ESL bishes you be baggin. Who talks like that?!

            But I actually feel more disrespected when I tell a guy I have a man and he’s like “so”. Da eff you think you are? And what exactly do I look like? Dont answer that or I will be forced to get “urban” and embarrass us both.

          • Me fail english?

            @Panama Jackson,

            lol@ the ESL bishes you be baggin. Who talks like that?!

            But I actually feel more disrespected when I tell a guy I have a man and he’s like “so”. Da eff you think you are? And what exactly do I look like? Dont answer that or I will be forced to get “urban” and embarrass us both.

          • Selah

            @Champ,

            because I have yet to learn how to tell a guy nicely to keep it pushin. So I get trapped in convos I don’t want to be in, while “willing them away” in my head

          • Selah

            @Champ,

            because I have yet to learn how to tell a guy nicely to keep it pushin. So I get trapped in convos I don’t want to be in, while “willing them away” in my head

          • Me fail english?

            @Champ,

            Also, some men just dont shut up. No lie, I’ve had random guys talk my ear off and not ask for my number. I think some ppl just like to make speeches. I call them “older black men”

          • Me fail english?

            @Champ,

            Also, some men just dont shut up. No lie, I’ve had random guys talk my ear off and not ask for my number. I think some ppl just like to make speeches. I call them “older black men”

          • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

            @Panama,
            “why for come you would just go straight there?”

            AHAHAHAHA! Who TALKS like that?! First: Stop hittin’ on third graders. Second: If it’s the FIRST thing you ask, then yeah, you’re rude and will get told. “Hi” is the standard first statement in human nature. Don’t jumpstart to a conversation statement right off the back…you gotta get her initial attention first.

            I imagine the conversation going something like this with ya’ll:

            *Panama walking down the street*
            *Lady walks by Panama*
            *Panama gawks*
            *Panana jumps in front of Lady*
            Panama: You gotta man?
            Lady: *sprays mace*

          • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

            @Panama,
            “why for come you would just go straight there?”

            AHAHAHAHA! Who TALKS like that?! First: Stop hittin’ on third graders. Second: If it’s the FIRST thing you ask, then yeah, you’re rude and will get told. “Hi” is the standard first statement in human nature. Don’t jumpstart to a conversation statement right off the back…you gotta get her initial attention first.

            I imagine the conversation going something like this with ya’ll:

            *Panama walking down the street*
            *Lady walks by Panama*
            *Panama gawks*
            *Panana jumps in front of Lady*
            Panama: You gotta man?
            Lady: *sprays mace*

          • http://stuffghettopeoplelike.wordpress.com Stuff Ghetto People Like

            @Cheekie,

            *Panama walking down the street*
            *Lady walks by Panama*
            *Panama gawks*
            *Panana jumps in front of Lady*
            Panama: You gotta man?
            Lady: *sprays mace*

            This might be an even better plot and script than the one I wrote upthread…

          • http://stuffghettopeoplelike.wordpress.com Stuff Ghetto People Like

            @Cheekie,

            *Panama walking down the street*
            *Lady walks by Panama*
            *Panama gawks*
            *Panana jumps in front of Lady*
            Panama: You gotta man?
            Lady: *sprays mace*

            This might be an even better plot and script than the one I wrote upthread…

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

            @Cheekie,

            you forgot the last part

            *Panama then hits lady with haymaker as he tries to get the mace out of his eyes*

            *Panama then goes to jail and sings we shall overcome as he’s being escorted away by police*

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

            @Cheekie,

            you forgot the last part

            *Panama then hits lady with haymaker as he tries to get the mace out of his eyes*

            *Panama then goes to jail and sings we shall overcome as he’s being escorted away by police*

          • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

            @Panama,

            With your addition, I’d probably go see this play.

            @SGPL,

            Writing scripts is what I does.

          • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

            @Panama,

            With your addition, I’d probably go see this play.

            @SGPL,

            Writing scripts is what I does.

        • http://fromselahwithlove.blogspot.com/ Selah

          @The Champ,

          Hmmm. why would we get mad if you ask that? The question isn’t the problem. The problem starts when after I say Yea, I have a boyfriend, and the dude still keeps trying.

        • http://sjeaspeaks.blogspot.com SexyCool

          @The Champ,
          I’m going to agree with you on this one – 100%. “You gotta man?” is not a cool pick-up line.

          In fact, your lameness will immediately cause your invisibility shield to drop into place.

          • Sula is pro-Socialism

            @SexyCool,

            I agree. Can we make conversation? Can we share a few laughs? Does it have to be about the chase ALL the time? I would rather a guy talk to me casually than ask me if I have a boyfriend. If that’s part of your first questions, even if I’m single, I am walking away.

          • Sula is pro-Socialism

            @SexyCool,

            I agree. Can we make conversation? Can we share a few laughs? Does it have to be about the chase ALL the time? I would rather a guy talk to me casually than ask me if I have a boyfriend. If that’s part of your first questions, even if I’m single, I am walking away.

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            @sula is pro-socialism

            “I agree. Can we make conversation? Can we share a few laughs? Does it have to be about the chase ALL the time? I would rather a guy talk to me casually than ask me if I have a boyfriend”

            this really depends on when and how you meet. if you just happen to strike up a convo in the elevator, thats cool. but, if a guy meets a woman at a club type place where he’s already probably spent money getting in and maybe buying a drink or two, having great convo with cool, attached women isn’t the most efficient way to spend that time

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            @sula is pro-socialism

            “I agree. Can we make conversation? Can we share a few laughs? Does it have to be about the chase ALL the time? I would rather a guy talk to me casually than ask me if I have a boyfriend”

            this really depends on when and how you meet. if you just happen to strike up a convo in the elevator, thats cool. but, if a guy meets a woman at a club type place where he’s already probably spent money getting in and maybe buying a drink or two, having great convo with cool, attached women isn’t the most efficient way to spend that time

          • Roger

            @SexyCool,

            yeah that “you got a man” line is so lame to me. I’d rather say “are you single”, idk, you don’t seem as desperate and when you ask a woman if she has a man, most automatically get the impression I want to be in a relationship with them. But if I ask if their single, then hopefully I give off the vibe that I want to get to know you more and see where it goes….

          • Roger

            @SexyCool,

            yeah that “you got a man” line is so lame to me. I’d rather say “are you single”, idk, you don’t seem as desperate and when you ask a woman if she has a man, most automatically get the impression I want to be in a relationship with them. But if I ask if their single, then hopefully I give off the vibe that I want to get to know you more and see where it goes….

        • http://sjeaspeaks.blogspot.com SexyCool

          @The Champ,
          I’m going to agree with you on this one – 100%. “You gotta man?” is not a cool pick-up line.

          In fact, your lameness will immediately cause your invisibility shield to drop into place.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @Omar,

        i think they should just wear signs

      • Me fail english?

        @Omar,

        I guess every woman is different cuz I have no problem with being asked if I have a man early on. Dont get me wrong. It shouldnt literally be the FIRST question, before “How are you doing?”/”What’s your name?” but I dont wanna be the presumptuous one if a brotha is just making small talk on the train and I bust out with “I GOTS A MAYNE!!”. Cuz that would make me a douche.

        Also, you’d be surprised how many full grown men will hit you with the “Well I aint tryna be yo’ man *smirk*” after you tell them you’re taken. Ninja plz! What a coincidence, cuz I aint tryna be yo’ friend!

        Or worse yet, the dude who will actually try to convince you he makes all his friends by staring into their cleavage and asking them to dinner. Yup, GROWN men.

        • Happy Meal

          @Me fail english?,
          “Also, you’d be surprised how many full grown men will hit you with the “Well I aint tryna be yo’ man *smirk*” after you tell them you’re taken. Ninja plz! What a coincidence, cuz I aint tryna be yo’ friend!”

          *Dead* I must file this away for later usage

        • Happy Meal

          @Me fail english?,
          “Also, you’d be surprised how many full grown men will hit you with the “Well I aint tryna be yo’ man *smirk*” after you tell them you’re taken. Ninja plz! What a coincidence, cuz I aint tryna be yo’ friend!”

          *Dead* I must file this away for later usage

        • Omar

          @Me fail english?,

          “Well I aint tryna be yo’ man *smirk*”

          After saying this do they say “…I’m trying to be yo’ ni**a”???

          • Me fail english?

            @Omar,

            LMAO! That dude would get at least another 60 seconds of convo and a smile just for being soo….”ethnic”

          • Me fail english?

            @Omar,

            LMAO! That dude would get at least another 60 seconds of convo and a smile just for being soo….”ethnic”

        • Omar

          @Me fail english?,

          “Well I aint tryna be yo’ man *smirk*”

          After saying this do they say “…I’m trying to be yo’ ni**a”???

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          @Me fail english?, Also, you’d be surprised how many full grown men will hit you with the “Well I aint tryna be yo’ man *smirk*” after you tell them you’re taken.

          i can’t lie. i’ve said that to a chick before. it was true…i was just trying to hit.

          • miss t-lee

            @Panama Jackson,
            Yeah…we’re familiar with that logic. *laughing loudly*

          • miss t-lee

            @Panama Jackson,
            Yeah…we’re familiar with that logic. *laughing loudly*

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          @Me fail english?, Also, you’d be surprised how many full grown men will hit you with the “Well I aint tryna be yo’ man *smirk*” after you tell them you’re taken.

          i can’t lie. i’ve said that to a chick before. it was true…i was just trying to hit.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          @Me fail english?,

          but I dont wanna be the presumptuous one if a brotha is just making small talk on the train and I bust out with “I GOTS A MAYNE!!”. Cuz that would make me a douche.

          lol, no. that would officially make you the funniest black female comedian in america.

          don’t feel too good about that title though. right now it doesn’t take much

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          @Me fail english?,

          but I dont wanna be the presumptuous one if a brotha is just making small talk on the train and I bust out with “I GOTS A MAYNE!!”. Cuz that would make me a douche.

          lol, no. that would officially make you the funniest black female comedian in america.

          don’t feel too good about that title though. right now it doesn’t take much

        • http://stuffghettopeoplelike.wordpress.com Stuff Ghetto People Like

          @Me fail english?,

          “I GOTS A MAYNE!!”

          I read this in the voice of Ashley “Smashly” Evans.

          • tnt

            @Stuff Ghetto People Like,
            love smashley! she’s the running joke in my circle of friends

          • tnt

            @Stuff Ghetto People Like,
            love smashley! she’s the running joke in my circle of friends

        • http://stuffghettopeoplelike.wordpress.com Stuff Ghetto People Like

          @Me fail english?,

          “I GOTS A MAYNE!!”

          I read this in the voice of Ashley “Smashly” Evans.

        • http://cookinwitgrease.com Chasdizz

          @Me fail english?, yeah bein hit with the “ay guh…you got a man?” is not the business. and it happens. alot.

          don’t you wanna kno my name? i met a dude named Meat once, complete with matching “MEAT” iced-out chain…and don’t you think that affected my decision to continue a conversation with this guy? it did. similarly if i said my name is chasdizz but they call me throatcutter, you may wanna kno that before we get to if i have a man or not.

          actually now that i think about it, i get a lot of out of order questions.

          hmm.

          • Me fail english?

            @Chasdizz,

            *doubled over laughing @ this whole damn post*

            When I was younger I used to tell dudes I didnt like my name was”Bruce” in a tenor. I was the only one who thought that ish was funny.

          • Me fail english?

            @Chasdizz,

            *doubled over laughing @ this whole damn post*

            When I was younger I used to tell dudes I didnt like my name was”Bruce” in a tenor. I was the only one who thought that ish was funny.

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            @Chasdizz,

            i met a dude named Meat once, complete with matching “MEAT” iced-out chain

            how does one get the nickname “meat”?. actually, nevermind. thats probably a question i’m better off not knowing the answer to

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            @Chasdizz,

            i met a dude named Meat once, complete with matching “MEAT” iced-out chain

            how does one get the nickname “meat”?. actually, nevermind. thats probably a question i’m better off not knowing the answer to

          • http://cookinwitgrease.com Chasdizz

            @Champ,
            he claimed it was short for Demetrius…but he could have been lying.

          • http://cookinwitgrease.com Chasdizz

            @Champ,
            he claimed it was short for Demetrius…but he could have been lying.

        • http://cookinwitgrease.com Chasdizz

          @Me fail english?, yeah bein hit with the “ay guh…you got a man?” is not the business. and it happens. alot.

          don’t you wanna kno my name? i met a dude named Meat once, complete with matching “MEAT” iced-out chain…and don’t you think that affected my decision to continue a conversation with this guy? it did. similarly if i said my name is chasdizz but they call me throatcutter, you may wanna kno that before we get to if i have a man or not.

          actually now that i think about it, i get a lot of out of order questions.

          hmm.

        • happilymarried

          OMG yes. I hate the ones who think they’re going to be boyfriend #2 or just keep talking when you have a rather substantial rock on your left hand.

      • Me fail english?

        @Omar,

        I guess every woman is different cuz I have no problem with being asked if I have a man early on. Dont get me wrong. It shouldnt literally be the FIRST question, before “How are you doing?”/”What’s your name?” but I dont wanna be the presumptuous one if a brotha is just making small talk on the train and I bust out with “I GOTS A MAYNE!!”. Cuz that would make me a douche.

        Also, you’d be surprised how many full grown men will hit you with the “Well I aint tryna be yo’ man *smirk*” after you tell them you’re taken. Ninja plz! What a coincidence, cuz I aint tryna be yo’ friend!

        Or worse yet, the dude who will actually try to convince you he makes all his friends by staring into their cleavage and asking them to dinner. Yup, GROWN men.

    • Omar

      @Leila,

      “That’s why you should ask up front lol.”

      Then we lose points for being presumtuous… We should be told upfront, you know he ain’t approach you to be friends.

    • Scipio Africanus

      @Leila, Of all the times I’ve ever read an “LOL” on a computer screen, this one here:

      “That’s why you should ask up front lol.”

      …may possibly be the cruelest.

    • Scipio Africanus

      @Leila, Of all the times I’ve ever read an “LOL” on a computer screen, this one here:

      “That’s why you should ask up front lol.”

      …may possibly be the cruelest.

    • http://kamakula.wordpress.com kamakula

      @Leila,

      Actually, she’s right. You should ask up front. It doesn’t take a genius to do it.

      Say, she’s wearing a scarf.

      Guy: “Brr, it’s a bit chilly tonight but you seem to be generating heat here all by yourself”.
      Gal: *giggles* “Well, I do my best”.
      Guy: “I’m sure you do” *smile* “Though maybe it’s that scarf, your boyfriend has good taste”.

      Gal: “Actually, I got that myself. I don’t have a boyfriend”
      Guy: *score!*
      OR
      Gal: “Yeah, he’s that one standing over there”.
      Guy: *that explains the burning sensation on the back of my neck*
      OR
      Gal: “Nah, my boyfriend found this to be too much”.
      Guy: *Ah, that explains why it seemed too easy to chat with her*

      • http://stuffghettopeoplelike.wordpress.com Stuff Ghetto People Like

        @kamakula, hahaha, choose your own adventure!

        • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

          @Stuff Ghetto People Like,

          I love you for the Choose Your Own Adventure shout-out.

        • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

          @Stuff Ghetto People Like,

          I love you for the Choose Your Own Adventure shout-out.

        • Anonymiss

          @Stuff Ghetto People Like,
          lmao @ choose your own adventure.

        • Anonymiss

          @Stuff Ghetto People Like,
          lmao @ choose your own adventure.

      • http://stuffghettopeoplelike.wordpress.com Stuff Ghetto People Like

        @kamakula, hahaha, choose your own adventure!

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @kamakula,

        lol, you should have kept it going

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @kamakula,

        lol, you should have kept it going

    • http://kamakula.wordpress.com kamakula

      @Leila,

      Actually, she’s right. You should ask up front. It doesn’t take a genius to do it.

      Say, she’s wearing a scarf.

      Guy: “Brr, it’s a bit chilly tonight but you seem to be generating heat here all by yourself”.
      Gal: *giggles* “Well, I do my best”.
      Guy: “I’m sure you do” *smile* “Though maybe it’s that scarf, your boyfriend has good taste”.

      Gal: “Actually, I got that myself. I don’t have a boyfriend”
      Guy: *score!*
      OR
      Gal: “Yeah, he’s that one standing over there”.
      Guy: *that explains the burning sensation on the back of my neck*
      OR
      Gal: “Nah, my boyfriend found this to be too much”.
      Guy: *Ah, that explains why it seemed too easy to chat with her*

  • Leila

    the scenario that occurs when a man has spent an entire night talking to, laughing and dancing with, and getting to know a seemingly unbeliviably compatible woman, only to be hit with the “hey, what type of movies do you like? i’m really into p*rn, tarentino flicks, scorcese, and old nba highlight films. i love spielburg sometimes too, but not as much as my boyfriend does” right before he’s about to ask for her number.

    That’s why you should ask up front lol.

  • charli skipp

    well, hell. i have nothing to comment about today. because i do all of these.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @charli skipp,

      bastard

      • charli skipp

        @The Champ,
        bastard these.

        i’ve waited so long to say that. yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.

        • overit

          @charli skipp, lmao, you have waited so long to say “these”?

        • overit

          @charli skipp, lmao, you have waited so long to say “these”?

        • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Thuggie Luvvie

          @charli skipp,

          *sigh* I can’t even give u complete props. It’s “DEEZ!”

        • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Thuggie Luvvie

          @charli skipp,

          *sigh* I can’t even give u complete props. It’s “DEEZ!”

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          @charli skipp,

          these deez

          • charli skipp

            @The Champ, thuggie luvvie, and overit

            umm………you guys will not steal my joy today. Not Today, DEVIL! lol

          • charli skipp

            @The Champ, thuggie luvvie, and overit

            umm………you guys will not steal my joy today. Not Today, DEVIL! lol

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          @charli skipp,

          these deez

        • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

          @charli skipp,

          I love how you got proper on Champ. *standing O*

          And FINALLY, we got to witness Champ saying “these deez”. I predicted this way back when we had to ask Champie and Panda those questions. Miss Cleo can kick rocks. Make way for Miss Cheekie.

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            @Cheekie,

            cheek deez

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            @Cheekie,

            cheek deez

          • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

            @Champ,

            *puts on SARS mask*

          • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

            @Champ,

            *puts on SARS mask*

        • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

          @charli skipp,

          I love how you got proper on Champ. *standing O*

          And FINALLY, we got to witness Champ saying “these deez”. I predicted this way back when we had to ask Champie and Panda those questions. Miss Cleo can kick rocks. Make way for Miss Cheekie.

      • charli skipp

        @The Champ,
        bastard these.

        i’ve waited so long to say that. yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @charli skipp,

      bastard

    • http://jdiva.wordpress.com chaoticdiva

      @charli skipp,

      Are we like related or something? lol…

    • http://jdiva.wordpress.com chaoticdiva

      @charli skipp,

      Are we like related or something? lol…

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @charli skipp, wow, admitted suckery. you don’t get that too often.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @Panama Jackson,

        wow, admitted suckery. you don’t get that too often.

        i do, but its…wait. nevermind

        • Ivy St.

          @The Champ,
          *smh*

        • Ivy St.

          @The Champ,
          *smh*

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @Panama Jackson,

        wow, admitted suckery. you don’t get that too often.

        i do, but its…wait. nevermind

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @charli skipp, wow, admitted suckery. you don’t get that too often.

  • charli skipp

    well, hell. i have nothing to comment about today. because i do all of these.

  • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com Naturally Alise

    I don’t know why we ask the unanswerable questions. I do it unconsciously… but my boyfriend always says, “You ain’t gonna get me with that one…” He also knows to answer often with, “Girl you know you fine, hush up.” lol…

    example convo:

    Alise: Does this dress flatter me?
    Boyfriend: Girl you know you fine.
    Alise: How’s the weather?
    Boyfriend: Girl, you know you fine
    Alise: What time does the movie start?
    Boyfriend: Girl, you know you fine.

    (smart man)

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @Naturally Alise,

      ***taking notes***

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @Naturally Alise,

      ***taking notes***

    • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Thuggie Luvvie

      @Naturally Alise,

      LMAO!!! E’s smart indeed.

    • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Thuggie Luvvie

      @Naturally Alise,

      LMAO!!! E’s smart indeed.

    • http://blkbond.blogspot.com BlkBond

      @Naturally Alise,

      Yeah…yeah….like that….(**puffy voice whisper**)

      Bond. BlkBond.

    • http://blkbond.blogspot.com BlkBond

      @Naturally Alise,

      Yeah…yeah….like that….(**puffy voice whisper**)

      Bond. BlkBond.

  • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com Naturally Alise

    I don’t know why we ask the unanswerable questions. I do it unconsciously… but my boyfriend always says, “You ain’t gonna get me with that one…” He also knows to answer often with, “Girl you know you fine, hush up.” lol…

    example convo:

    Alise: Does this dress flatter me?
    Boyfriend: Girl you know you fine.
    Alise: How’s the weather?
    Boyfriend: Girl, you know you fine
    Alise: What time does the movie start?
    Boyfriend: Girl, you know you fine.

    (smart man)

  • http://www.blacknbougie.com OneChele

    We are cruel because ya’ll are mean. Flipping the script:
    1) Why do you take a woman out four times then kiss her on the forehead and tell her she’s a pal. You could’ve done that day one so she knew she was in the friend zone.

    2) Why do you answer a question with a question and think we don’t notice? “So where were you last night?” Men, “Oh did you try and call me?” FAIL!

    3) Why do you wait until we have given up on you and are into someone else to show us you are interested. Now I gotta man and you can’t live without me? Or do you just want what you can’t have? Hmm?

    4) Why are you smiling at me, making conversation, dancing and buying drinks when you KNOW you have a Jazmine Sullivan type girlfriend/wife who carries a Glock in her purse?

    yessir, this is why we wait until the fourth quarter of the game to tell you “we need to talk”, this is why we sometimes eat a steak before you come home and give you a hamburger, and this is why we changed the ringtone on your phone to play “Say My Name” every time we call and then we call you twenty times while you are out with your boys. We gotta fight fire with fire. Ha!

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @OneChele,

      1. don’t date gay men

      2. don’t ask stupid questions

      3. stop playin

      4. we want to be saved

      “yessir, this is why we wait until the fourth quarter of the game to tell you “we need to talk”, this is why we sometimes eat a steak before you come home and give you a hamburger, and this is why we changed the ringtone on your phone to play “Say My Name” every time we call and then we call you twenty times while you are out with your boys. We gotta fight fire with fire. Ha!”

      bastard

      • http://fromselahwithlove.blogspot.com/ Selah

        @The Champ,

        LOL at “stop playin”

      • http://fromselahwithlove.blogspot.com/ Selah

        @The Champ,

        LOL at “stop playin”

      • Me fail english?

        @The Champ,

        lol. Champ’s in rare form today.

      • Me fail english?

        @The Champ,

        lol. Champ’s in rare form today.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        @The Champ, wow, great answers.

        she trippin.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        @The Champ, wow, great answers.

        she trippin.

      • http://lmbao.org Dorian G.

        @The Champ,

        Well played

      • http://lmbao.org Dorian G.

        @The Champ,

        Well played

      • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

        @The Champ,

        “2. don’t ask stupid questions”

        The above can be copied and pasted next to each each of YOUR numbers. And your final question.

        Also: Don’t be stupid.

        • Me fail english?

          @Cheekie,

          ALSO, very true.

        • Me fail english?

          @Cheekie,

          ALSO, very true.

      • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

        @The Champ,

        “2. don’t ask stupid questions”

        The above can be copied and pasted next to each each of YOUR numbers. And your final question.

        Also: Don’t be stupid.

      • CPT Callamity

        @The Champ,

        Bwahahahahaha…..

      • CPT Callamity

        @The Champ,

        Bwahahahahaha…..

      • Roger

        @The Champ,

        “stop playing” lmao

      • Roger

        @The Champ,

        “stop playing” lmao

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @OneChele,

      1. don’t date gay men

      2. don’t ask stupid questions

      3. stop playin

      4. we want to be saved

      “yessir, this is why we wait until the fourth quarter of the game to tell you “we need to talk”, this is why we sometimes eat a steak before you come home and give you a hamburger, and this is why we changed the ringtone on your phone to play “Say My Name” every time we call and then we call you twenty times while you are out with your boys. We gotta fight fire with fire. Ha!”

      bastard

    • charli skipp

      @OneChele,
      “We are cruel because ya’ll are mean. ”
      DING DING DING DING DING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      “1) Why do you take a woman out four times then kiss her on the forehead and tell her she’s a pal. You could’ve done that day one so she knew she was in the friend zone.”

      Wait. Are you me? Because this exact thing happened to me! This guy that I went to school with made a fool of himself trying to ask me out in front of a group of our classmates/friends. Said he had a crush on me/the whole nine. We go on a few wooooonderful dates and he makes no moves–I figure he’s a gentleman. Until after date 4, when he kisses me on the forehead…….um…..wait. what? HUH!? ouch *sad face* lol
      __________________________________________

      3) Why do you wait until we have given up on you and are into someone else to show us you are interested. Now I gotta man and you can’t live without me? Or do you just want what you can’t have? Hmm?

      “Hmm,” indeed! Men are selfish.

      And thanks for the “Say My Name” ringtone tip. I’m going to change my “just a friend” boy’s to “I’m Bossy!” tonight.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        @charli skipp, Wait. Are you me? Because this exact thing happened to me! This guy that I went to school with made a fool of himself trying to ask me out in front of a group of our classmates/friends. Said he had a crush on me/the whole nine. We go on a few wooooonderful dates and he makes no moves–I figure he’s a gentleman. Until after date 4, when he kisses me on the forehead…….um…..wait. what? HUH!? ouch *sad face* lol

        i’m guessing it took 4 dates to realize…man, i spent all that time trying to get this chick and THIS IS IT?!?! forehead kiss off.

        • Roger

          @Panama Jackson,

          If the guy was all over you at first, then 4 dates into it, gives you nothing more than a forehead kiss… what does that tell you??

          • charli skipp

            @Roger,
            um…that you are mean? bastid.

          • charli skipp

            @Roger,
            um…that you are mean? bastid.

        • Roger

          @Panama Jackson,

          If the guy was all over you at first, then 4 dates into it, gives you nothing more than a forehead kiss… what does that tell you??

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        @charli skipp, Wait. Are you me? Because this exact thing happened to me! This guy that I went to school with made a fool of himself trying to ask me out in front of a group of our classmates/friends. Said he had a crush on me/the whole nine. We go on a few wooooonderful dates and he makes no moves–I figure he’s a gentleman. Until after date 4, when he kisses me on the forehead…….um…..wait. what? HUH!? ouch *sad face* lol

        i’m guessing it took 4 dates to realize…man, i spent all that time trying to get this chick and THIS IS IT?!?! forehead kiss off.

    • charli skipp

      @OneChele,
      “We are cruel because ya’ll are mean. ”
      DING DING DING DING DING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      “1) Why do you take a woman out four times then kiss her on the forehead and tell her she’s a pal. You could’ve done that day one so she knew she was in the friend zone.”

      Wait. Are you me? Because this exact thing happened to me! This guy that I went to school with made a fool of himself trying to ask me out in front of a group of our classmates/friends. Said he had a crush on me/the whole nine. We go on a few wooooonderful dates and he makes no moves–I figure he’s a gentleman. Until after date 4, when he kisses me on the forehead…….um…..wait. what? HUH!? ouch *sad face* lol
      __________________________________________

      3) Why do you wait until we have given up on you and are into someone else to show us you are interested. Now I gotta man and you can’t live without me? Or do you just want what you can’t have? Hmm?

      “Hmm,” indeed! Men are selfish.

      And thanks for the “Say My Name” ringtone tip. I’m going to change my “just a friend” boy’s to “I’m Bossy!” tonight.

    • http://www.myspace.com/igotastory melekaj

      @OneChele, girl i’m currently going through #3. NOW you want to just call and make small talk? Boy bye!

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        @melekaj, he wants to see you naked.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          @Panama Jackson,

          i agree. he wants to do the no pants dance

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          @Panama Jackson,

          i agree. he wants to do the no pants dance

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        @melekaj, he wants to see you naked.

    • http://www.myspace.com/igotastory melekaj

      @OneChele, girl i’m currently going through #3. NOW you want to just call and make small talk? Boy bye!

    • http://jdiva.wordpress.com chaoticdiva

      @OneChele,

      Ok, you have described 1/2 of the turds that I have dated in the last year. Wow, apparently I suck at this dating thing.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @chaoticdiva,

        why is the image of you out at a movie or something with a giant turd stuck in my head? like, you’re sitting there eating popcorn, and he’s in the other seat, just sitting there, and people are wondering “why is she sitting next to that piece of sh*t? is she insane or something? thats not maia campbell, is it?”

        • IVR

          @The Champ, “why is the image of you out at a movie or something with a giant turd stuck in my head? like, you’re sitting there eating popcorn, and he’s in the other seat, just sitting there, and people are wondering “why is she sitting next to that piece of sh*t? is she insane or something? thats not maia campbell, is it?””

          LMBAO @ all of this foolishness right here.

        • IVR

          @The Champ, “why is the image of you out at a movie or something with a giant turd stuck in my head? like, you’re sitting there eating popcorn, and he’s in the other seat, just sitting there, and people are wondering “why is she sitting next to that piece of sh*t? is she insane or something? thats not maia campbell, is it?””

          LMBAO @ all of this foolishness right here.

        • Me fail english?

          @The Champ,

          I’m mad ppl are talking about why she’s at the movie with shet rather than questioning the existence of a breathing, man-sized piece of shet.

          Also, plz dont joke about Maia Campbell as she is a saint and we know how I get. :)

          :(

        • Me fail english?

          @The Champ,

          I’m mad ppl are talking about why she’s at the movie with shet rather than questioning the existence of a breathing, man-sized piece of shet.

          Also, plz dont joke about Maia Campbell as she is a saint and we know how I get. :)

          :(

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @chaoticdiva,

        why is the image of you out at a movie or something with a giant turd stuck in my head? like, you’re sitting there eating popcorn, and he’s in the other seat, just sitting there, and people are wondering “why is she sitting next to that piece of sh*t? is she insane or something? thats not maia campbell, is it?”

    • http://jdiva.wordpress.com chaoticdiva

      @OneChele,

      Ok, you have described 1/2 of the turds that I have dated in the last year. Wow, apparently I suck at this dating thing.

    • http://www.singlesisterspeak.wordpress.com Nicki Sunshine

      @OneChele, “Why do you wait until we have given up on you and are into someone else to show us you are interested. Now I gotta man and you can’t live without me? Or do you just want what you can’t have? Hmm? ”

      That is the dayum truth… they are forever coming out of the woodworks.

      • Me fail english?

        @Nicki Sunshine,

        Seriously I’m gonna need a man to answer this one. Who the hell told yall to keep showin up like herpes?

        • http://www.singlesisterspeak.wordpress.com Nicki Sunshine

          @Me fail english?, Exactly… because it’s guaranteed to happen.

        • http://www.singlesisterspeak.wordpress.com Nicki Sunshine

          @Me fail english?, Exactly… because it’s guaranteed to happen.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          @Me fail english?, done and done.

          we were bored and we’d like to continue trying to see you naked. so we figure, what the hell, its worth a shot. we aint’ doing nothing else and there’s no game on.

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            @Panama Jackson,

            took the words out of my mouth

            by the way, saying “took the words out of my mouth” to another man is 34 percent gay

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            @Panama Jackson,

            took the words out of my mouth

            by the way, saying “took the words out of my mouth” to another man is 34 percent gay

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          @Me fail english?, done and done.

          we were bored and we’d like to continue trying to see you naked. so we figure, what the hell, its worth a shot. we aint’ doing nothing else and there’s no game on.

        • http://lmbao.org Dorian G.

          @Me fail english?,

          Why grown women need this explained to them is ridiculous to me

          • Me fail english?

            @Dorian G.,

            Ya know, once I finished typing that I realized…”Wait. I know the answer to this. Why did I ask?” I guess a better question would be why are they so persistent. At some point if Im not even answering the phone/text shouldnt you get MORE bored and move on to the next number?

          • Me fail english?

            @Dorian G.,

            Ya know, once I finished typing that I realized…”Wait. I know the answer to this. Why did I ask?” I guess a better question would be why are they so persistent. At some point if Im not even answering the phone/text shouldnt you get MORE bored and move on to the next number?

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

            @Me fail english?, cuz pen*s is persistent.

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

            @Me fail english?, cuz pen*s is persistent.

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            “pen*s is persistent.”

            this could definitely be a t-shirt, but i dont know who i’d market it to

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            “pen*s is persistent.”

            this could definitely be a t-shirt, but i dont know who i’d market it to

          • Sheffield Swats

            @Dorian G., Me fail….

            “I guess a better question would be why are they so persistent. At some point if Im not even answering the phone/text shouldnt you get MORE bored and move on to the next number?”

            Men’s persistence is directly related to the amount of attention you retract (there’s an algorithm for this, I believe).
            -If you always used to answer his calls after one ring and now he goes to voicemail, he will increase his calls by 3.
            -If you used to invite him over for dinners, or otherwise suggest meet-ups and suddenly stop contact, he will increase his calls by 5.
            -If you gave him the drawers and then subsequently called to keep in touch but were met with half-hearted “uh huh’s”, when you don’t call him for a month or more he will call, write, show up at your doorstep, apply for a job at your workplace and staple his photo onto every Essence that appears in your mailbox.

          • Sheffield Swats

            @Dorian G., Me fail….

            “I guess a better question would be why are they so persistent. At some point if Im not even answering the phone/text shouldnt you get MORE bored and move on to the next number?”

            Men’s persistence is directly related to the amount of attention you retract (there’s an algorithm for this, I believe).
            -If you always used to answer his calls after one ring and now he goes to voicemail, he will increase his calls by 3.
            -If you used to invite him over for dinners, or otherwise suggest meet-ups and suddenly stop contact, he will increase his calls by 5.
            -If you gave him the drawers and then subsequently called to keep in touch but were met with half-hearted “uh huh’s”, when you don’t call him for a month or more he will call, write, show up at your doorstep, apply for a job at your workplace and staple his photo onto every Essence that appears in your mailbox.

        • http://lmbao.org Dorian G.

          @Me fail english?,

          Why grown women need this explained to them is ridiculous to me

        • http://cookinwitgrease.com Chasdizz

          @Me fail english?,
          herpes indeed.

          with no valtrex commercial in sight.

        • http://cookinwitgrease.com Chasdizz

          @Me fail english?,
          herpes indeed.

          with no valtrex commercial in sight.

      • Me fail english?

        @Nicki Sunshine,

        Seriously I’m gonna need a man to answer this one. Who the hell told yall to keep showin up like herpes?

      • miss t-lee

        @Nicki Sunshine,
        Oooo!!! Really though!

      • miss t-lee

        @Nicki Sunshine,
        Oooo!!! Really though!

    • http://www.singlesisterspeak.wordpress.com Nicki Sunshine

      @OneChele, “Why do you wait until we have given up on you and are into someone else to show us you are interested. Now I gotta man and you can’t live without me? Or do you just want what you can’t have? Hmm? ”

      That is the dayum truth… they are forever coming out of the woodworks.

    • Happy Meal

      @OneChele,
      or worse, 5) suddenly abandon FWB/jumpoff protocol by consistently slobbing me down all up in the face like we married only to be talmbout how you to scared to try and get to know me? WTF?! What you really want from a ninja?!

      • miss t-lee

        @Happy Meal,
        I applaud the use of any and all DMX quotes.

        • Happy Meal

          @miss t-lee,
          lol I use it at LEAST once a week

          • miss t-lee

            @Happy Meal,
            I paraphrased the “I’m not a nice person” quote in my post downthread…LMAO

          • miss t-lee

            @Happy Meal,
            I paraphrased the “I’m not a nice person” quote in my post downthread…LMAO

        • Happy Meal

          @miss t-lee,
          lol I use it at LEAST once a week

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          @miss t-lee,

          ya’ll have blood on your hands, cause there’s no remorse

          • miss t-lee

            @The Champ,
            “Catch you on some cozy ish, running around here with chinese slippers and silk scarves on…”
            *snickering*

          • miss t-lee

            @The Champ,
            “Catch you on some cozy ish, running around here with chinese slippers and silk scarves on…”
            *snickering*

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          @miss t-lee,

          ya’ll have blood on your hands, cause there’s no remorse

      • miss t-lee

        @Happy Meal,
        I applaud the use of any and all DMX quotes.

    • Happy Meal

      @OneChele,
      or worse, 5) suddenly abandon FWB/jumpoff protocol by consistently slobbing me down all up in the face like we married only to be talmbout how you to scared to try and get to know me? WTF?! What you really want from a ninja?!

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @OneChele, 3) Why do you wait until we have given up on you and are into someone else to show us you are interested. Now I gotta man and you can’t live without me? Or do you just want what you can’t have? Hmm?

      b/c we get bored too. and when we get bored we run down all the numbers to see if we can hit off any body we didn’t manage to poke before. its really quite simple. sometimes, you will get that call. and no, he doesnt want to be with you. he wants to see your pokerface.

      • Happy Meal

        @Panama Jackson,
        and you say women are cruel…lol

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          @Happy Meal, that’s not cruel. she already got a man so its really just for sport. now it would be cruel if she LEFT her current man, we hit, AND THEN dropped.

          now that’s cruel.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          @Happy Meal, that’s not cruel. she already got a man so its really just for sport. now it would be cruel if she LEFT her current man, we hit, AND THEN dropped.

          now that’s cruel.

      • Happy Meal

        @Panama Jackson,
        and you say women are cruel…lol

      • Selah

        @Panama Jackson,

        bastards.

        And this is why when i see missed calls/texts from dudes from way back I don’t respond. He ain’t just tryna “catch up”.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          @Selah,

          He ain’t just tryna “catch up”.

          oh, he is. just not in the way you’re thinking

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          @Selah,

          He ain’t just tryna “catch up”.

          oh, he is. just not in the way you’re thinking

      • Selah

        @Panama Jackson,

        bastards.

        And this is why when i see missed calls/texts from dudes from way back I don’t respond. He ain’t just tryna “catch up”.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @OneChele, 3) Why do you wait until we have given up on you and are into someone else to show us you are interested. Now I gotta man and you can’t live without me? Or do you just want what you can’t have? Hmm?

      b/c we get bored too. and when we get bored we run down all the numbers to see if we can hit off any body we didn’t manage to poke before. its really quite simple. sometimes, you will get that call. and no, he doesnt want to be with you. he wants to see your pokerface.

    • http://ravingblacklunatic.blogspot.com Big Man

      @OneChele,

      That ain’t so bad.

      What about when women use feeler questions to manipulate you into doing stuff they want you to do. Example:

      Woman: “What are you doing later?”
      Man: “Nothing, chilling, watching the game.”
      Woman: “It’s not the playoffs, right?”
      Man: “Nah, it’s way to early for that.”
      Woman “Don’t the games only get really good in the playoffs?”
      Man: “Yeah, pretty much.”
      Woman: “Cool…Um, I need somebody to help move out of my apartment tonight, can you help?”

      That right there is wrong. ‘Cause if we try to cut to the chase and find out what you want, since we know you’re not really interested in basketball or our plans, y’all get all huffy and what not.

      This is the worst female trait in the world.

      • Me fail english?

        @Big Man,

        I have a co-worker who hits me with the “Are you busy?” only to ask me to do his work for him. Now I always say yes. Even when Im just sipping hot chocolate and filing my nails.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          @Me fail english?,

          i had a co-worker who’d get me with that to, but he was clever enough to make his questions so vaguely specific that i wouldnt catch on

          “hey champ, do you have any plans for the second weekend in october?”

          “nah”

          “great. i just bought a new fridge, and i need someone to help me move it”

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          @Me fail english?,

          i had a co-worker who’d get me with that to, but he was clever enough to make his questions so vaguely specific that i wouldnt catch on

          “hey champ, do you have any plans for the second weekend in october?”

          “nah”

          “great. i just bought a new fridge, and i need someone to help me move it”

      • Me fail english?

        @Big Man,

        I have a co-worker who hits me with the “Are you busy?” only to ask me to do his work for him. Now I always say yes. Even when Im just sipping hot chocolate and filing my nails.

    • http://ravingblacklunatic.blogspot.com Big Man

      @OneChele,

      That ain’t so bad.

      What about when women use feeler questions to manipulate you into doing stuff they want you to do. Example:

      Woman: “What are you doing later?”
      Man: “Nothing, chilling, watching the game.”
      Woman: “It’s not the playoffs, right?”
      Man: “Nah, it’s way to early for that.”
      Woman “Don’t the games only get really good in the playoffs?”
      Man: “Yeah, pretty much.”
      Woman: “Cool…Um, I need somebody to help move out of my apartment tonight, can you help?”

      That right there is wrong. ‘Cause if we try to cut to the chase and find out what you want, since we know you’re not really interested in basketball or our plans, y’all get all huffy and what not.

      This is the worst female trait in the world.

  • http://www.blacknbougie.com OneChele

    We are cruel because ya’ll are mean. Flipping the script:
    1) Why do you take a woman out four times then kiss her on the forehead and tell her she’s a pal. You could’ve done that day one so she knew she was in the friend zone.

    2) Why do you answer a question with a question and think we don’t notice? “So where were you last night?” Men, “Oh did you try and call me?” FAIL!

    3) Why do you wait until we have given up on you and are into someone else to show us you are interested. Now I gotta man and you can’t live without me? Or do you just want what you can’t have? Hmm?

    4) Why are you smiling at me, making conversation, dancing and buying drinks when you KNOW you have a Jazmine Sullivan type girlfriend/wife who carries a Glock in her purse?

    yessir, this is why we wait until the fourth quarter of the game to tell you “we need to talk”, this is why we sometimes eat a steak before you come home and give you a hamburger, and this is why we changed the ringtone on your phone to play “Say My Name” every time we call and then we call you twenty times while you are out with your boys. We gotta fight fire with fire. Ha!

  • Anechoic

    Four words:

    Tight t-shit.
    Erect nipples.

    Yeah, I went there.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @Anechoic,

      i was gonna add a pic like that to the post, until i remembered that we’re trying not to get banned anymore

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @Anechoic,

      i was gonna add a pic like that to the post, until i remembered that we’re trying not to get banned anymore

    • charli skipp

      @Anechoic,
      Erect nipples disgust me. Well, unless……..nevermind.

      • charli skipp

        @charli skipp,
        Can I delete this?

        • Me fail english?

          @charli skipp,

          LMAO!

        • Me fail english?

          @charli skipp,

          LMAO!

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          @charli skipp,

          Can I delete this?

          depends

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          @charli skipp,

          Can I delete this?

          depends

      • charli skipp

        @charli skipp,
        Can I delete this?

      • charli skipp

        @charli skipp,
        Also, can we pleaaaaaase talk about mackenzie phillips on oprah? WHAT is going on with the 2520 people?

        • miss t-lee

          @charli skipp,
          No. That’s just nasty…I purposely avoided even watching the show yesterday…lol I read the article though.

        • miss t-lee

          @charli skipp,
          No. That’s just nasty…I purposely avoided even watching the show yesterday…lol I read the article though.

        • Selah

          @charli skipp,

          you made me google her. and i am thoroughly disgusted. I mean come on! That was Fi’s mom on So Weird! Who knew she had them issues. SMH.

        • Selah

          @charli skipp,

          you made me google her. and i am thoroughly disgusted. I mean come on! That was Fi’s mom on So Weird! Who knew she had them issues. SMH.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          @charli skipp,

          that situation gives another meaning to the phillips head screwdriver

          • Sula

            @The Champ,

            Yup. You’re definitely in rare form today.

          • Sula

            @The Champ,

            Yup. You’re definitely in rare form today.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          @charli skipp,

          that situation gives another meaning to the phillips head screwdriver

      • charli skipp

        @charli skipp,
        Also, can we pleaaaaaase talk about mackenzie phillips on oprah? WHAT is going on with the 2520 people?

    • charli skipp

      @Anechoic,
      Erect nipples disgust me. Well, unless……..nevermind.

    • Ivy St.

      @Anechoic,
      “Tight t-shit.
      Erect nipples.”

      ummm It’s cold!

      • Smiley Face

        @Ivy St.,

        It doesn’t even have to be cold for me…SMDH..high school was rough for me, lol

        • Happy Meal

          @Smiley Face,
          two words
          Molded cups.

          • Smiley Face

            @Happy Meal,

            two more words…
            don’t work

            My mama ‘blessed’ me with these things, lol..only things that work are those nursing pads . I’ve even tried the bras with the daisies already in them, I can still see the outline….

          • Smiley Face

            @Happy Meal,

            two more words…
            don’t work

            My mama ‘blessed’ me with these things, lol..only things that work are those nursing pads . I’ve even tried the bras with the daisies already in them, I can still see the outline….

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            @smiley face

            My mama ‘blessed’ me with these things, lol..only things that work are those nursing pads . I’ve even tried the bras with the daisies already in them, I can still see the outline….

            ***useless without pics***

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            @smiley face

            My mama ‘blessed’ me with these things, lol..only things that work are those nursing pads . I’ve even tried the bras with the daisies already in them, I can still see the outline….

            ***useless without pics***

        • Happy Meal

          @Smiley Face,
          two words
          Molded cups.

        • Sula

          @Smiley Face,

          I am seriously not trying to be facetious, but what exactly is wrong with erect nipples? I mean it’s not like you want them to be ‘erect’, they are just that… I don’t know it sometimes feels like we are going out of our way for something that’s rather harmless imho…

          • Smiley Face

            @Sula,

            Harmless maybe to you but it can be uncomfortable when you look up from the presentation you’re giving, wondering why your colleague hasn’t answered you and him staring directly into your chest or being constantly teased about your 2 sets of eyes, I can’t walk around with my arms crossed, lol..meh. When I’m not at work I don’t care but when I am, I prefer to keep my nipples to myself.

          • Smiley Face

            @Sula,

            Harmless maybe to you but it can be uncomfortable when you look up from the presentation you’re giving, wondering why your colleague hasn’t answered you and him staring directly into your chest or being constantly teased about your 2 sets of eyes, I can’t walk around with my arms crossed, lol..meh. When I’m not at work I don’t care but when I am, I prefer to keep my nipples to myself.

          • Me fail english?

            @Sula,

            I gotta agree with Smiley. That ish is embarrassing. Thankfully it doesnt come up (see what I did there? haha) often.

          • Me fail english?

            @Sula,

            I gotta agree with Smiley. That ish is embarrassing. Thankfully it doesnt come up (see what I did there? haha) often.

        • Sula

          @Smiley Face,

          I am seriously not trying to be facetious, but what exactly is wrong with erect nipples? I mean it’s not like you want them to be ‘erect’, they are just that… I don’t know it sometimes feels like we are going out of our way for something that’s rather harmless imho…

      • Smiley Face

        @Ivy St.,

        It doesn’t even have to be cold for me…SMDH..high school was rough for me, lol

    • Ivy St.

      @Anechoic,
      “Tight t-shit.
      Erect nipples.”

      ummm It’s cold!

    • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

      @Anechoic,

      “Tight t-shit.”

      All I know is that I don’t wanna wear a t-shit, I wanna wear a t-shirt. The former sounds smelly and uncouth.

      • Me fail english?

        @Cheekie,

        Nobody wants me to keep my damn job. I dont know if its the jokes or Im still drunk…

        *logs off*

        • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

          @Me fail english?,

          LOL, Girl, my bad. I support folks keeping their jobs. Folks also includes ‘me’. This is all Champ’s fault.

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            @Cheekie,

            its not my fault. the g-20 hysteria here s making me crazy

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            @Cheekie,

            its not my fault. the g-20 hysteria here s making me crazy

        • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

          @Me fail english?,

          LOL, Girl, my bad. I support folks keeping their jobs. Folks also includes ‘me’. This is all Champ’s fault.

        • IVR

          @Me fail english?, “Nobody wants me to keep my damn job. I dont know if its the jokes or Im still drunk…”

          I know my boss is wondering because she just sent an email talking about mandatory work on Saturday and Sunday and I’m in here crakkin the fukk up like that sh!t is cool. LoL FUKKIT! LONG LIVE VSB! y’all muffukkas are hilarious

        • IVR

          @Me fail english?, “Nobody wants me to keep my damn job. I dont know if its the jokes or Im still drunk…”

          I know my boss is wondering because she just sent an email talking about mandatory work on Saturday and Sunday and I’m in here crakkin the fukk up like that sh!t is cool. LoL FUKKIT! LONG LIVE VSB! y’all muffukkas are hilarious

      • Me fail english?

        @Cheekie,

        Nobody wants me to keep my damn job. I dont know if its the jokes or Im still drunk…

        *logs off*

      • http://stuffghettopeoplelike.wordpress.com Stuff Ghetto People Like

        @Cheekie, taking a t-sh*t would be a neat trick, however.

      • http://stuffghettopeoplelike.wordpress.com Stuff Ghetto People Like

        @Cheekie, taking a t-sh*t would be a neat trick, however.

    • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

      @Anechoic,

      “Tight t-shit.”

      All I know is that I don’t wanna wear a t-shit, I wanna wear a t-shirt. The former sounds smelly and uncouth.

  • Anechoic

    Four words:

    Tight t-shit.
    Erect nipples.

    Yeah, I went there.

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