Dating, Relationships, & Sex, Lists, Theory & Essay

the four best things about winter

winterboo

last week produced pittsburgh’s first real taste of winter weather, with wind chills so violent that the mere thought of any outdoor activity induced some of the most awkwardly vulgar obscenities known to man. seriously, in the block walk from crazy mocha to my apartment last thursday, my brain was so appalled by the cold that it somehow convinced me that screaming “sh*tty goat nipples!!!” repeatedly would some how make it better. it didn’t

despite this, I always get a little giddy during this time of year. winter remains far and away my favorite season, and here’s four reasons why:

it builds character

put it this way: if leaving the comforts of a warm bed, blanket, and brown booty at six in the morning to shovel your percolating truck out of three inches of snow just so you can battle 10 miles worth of black ice, backed-up traffic, and bitch-ass priuses so you can sit in a cubicle and make just enough money to pay for you to repeat the entire process tomorrow isn’t character building, then I don’t know what the hell is.

cold weather music

by “cold weather” i’m referring to music thats best appreciated when heard through headphones, in your house by yourself, or in a whip with the windows up. usually this music either inspires you to make babies (ie: “who is jill scott? words and sounds vol. 1″), write your own songs (ie: the roots’ “things fall apart”), reluctantly sell drugs (ie: the gza’s “liquid swords”), or kill people (ie: mobb deep’s “the infamous”)

you can keep your heavy bass, boom-boxes, and laid-back breezy beach beats. gimme a hoodie, a skully, an ipod, and “the war report” and i’m good

the start of hoop season

although “below the rim: a former d-1 players’ awkward journey in search of his missing abs, hops, and pride” would be a perfect title if anyone made a documentary about me now, i still look forward to the beginning of basketball season more than any other single annual occurrence, including my birthday and the season premiere of “for the love of ray j”

the curious cases of the cold weather cuties

while I’ll always adore the energy, liberty, libido, love, and std’s produced by the summers heat, you can’t beat the intrigue and whip appeal of seeing a december sista so fine that her glory finds a way to shine through a parka, two thermals, fur earmuffs, and snow shoes.

plus, unwrapping that gift always makes for a great game of late night coitus kwanzaa

anyway, people of vsb, does anyone share my sentiments? if so, why? what is it about winter that you adore?

if not, what do you store in the space where your soul used to be? milk? staples? condoms? mexicans? I’m curious and sh*t

—the champ

Filed Under:
Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a contributing editor for EBONY.com. He resides in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes.

  • Luvvie

    Seeing as how I live in the torturous haven that is called Chicago, winter does nothing but make me wanna move. Hell, last week, I walked outside and it was so cold, a tear dropped from my eye but froze IN my tear duct and ran back.

    But umm… I do like winter b/c it allows me to rock my extensive collection of knee boots. Being segzy in the cold is hard, but somebody’s gotta do it!

    Wait… where was I going w/ this? Iunno. Oh yeah… WINTER sucks!

    Except for when u get to snuggle. Doing the southside slippery slide in front of a fireplace and rocking his sweater afterwards is nahc!

    • http://stuffghettopeoplelike.wordpress.com Stuff Ghetto People Like

      @Luvvie, well alrightee then!!

      So with the brutal winters you get out there, what is it that makes the Chi worth living in?

      • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

        @Stuff Ghetto People Like,

        Chi’s worth living in for the 3months of summer. Yes. Those 3 months of awesome keep us here. The rest of the year, we mad as h*ll!

        • Maximillian

          @Luvvie,

          Every time the car decides not to start, I think, “I left the South/West to come back to this?!?!”

      • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

        @Stuff Ghetto People Like,

        “So with the brutal winters you get out there, what is it that makes the Chi worth living in?”

        Duh. Chicago Larry*.

        *Anyone with any lick of sense should know I’m playin’. If you don’t know I’m playin’, you have no sense…in which case…call me, we should hang out!

        • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Thuggie Luvvie

          @Cheekie,

          “Duh. Chicago Larry”

          I just cackled. Loudly. At Work. Thanks for nothing

        • http://stuffghettopeoplelike.wordpress.com Stuff Ghetto People Like

          @Cheekie, I’ve never heard the reference before to be offended, so hey…

          And as far as hanging out, if one is ever around the other’s way, I’d love to.

          • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

            @Stuff Ghetto People Like,

            Yeah, it was just jokes. Chicago Larry is a “famous photographer” that Ray J shouted out on the first season of For the Love of Ray J. He probably said his name in the span of two episodes like 45,868 times. And I don’t even think he went by “Chicago Larry” before. But that’s what folks call him now. lol

            “And as far as hanging out, if one is ever around the other’s way, I’d love to.”

            Cool.

      • Sula

        @Stuff Ghetto People Like,

        Everything.

        I will brave the cold, and windy and slushy and horrible winter… for the vibe of Chicago. I have a secret love affair with this city.

    • Happy Meal

      @Luvvie,
      More power to ya. I’m from Cali so this DC version of winter is as real as I ever want it to get.

      • Lili

        @Happy Meal,
        LOL…You know winter hasn’t been “winter” in DC for a loooooooooooong time?

        • Happy Meal

          @Lili,
          well let me know when it’s coming back cuz whatever this be? is too much for me!

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @Happy Meal,

        smh at the lameness

        • Happy Meal

          @The Champ,
          Admittedly, I am quite the corn dog; don’t judge me i’m just staying in my lane.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @Luvvie,

      I probably should have made a “unless you live in chicago” disclaimer somewhere in this entry. seriously, the chi is the coldest city on earth. no wonder y’all have so many murders per year. muthaf*ckers are angry at the cold

      • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

        @The Champ,

        And I just read an article that despite previous reports to murder rates going DOWN in the winter (last year), in this mofo, niccas are STILL killin’ folks in negative degree arse weather in increasing numbers. SMH…

        • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Thuggie Luvvie

          @Cheekie,

          Thugs don’t get frosty. But umm… how do u do a driveby when its a storm out? Does your car not slide when u try to pop a cap? Does the snow not deter the bullets? I’m just wondering.

          • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

            @Thuggie Luvvie,

            LOL!

  • http://stuffghettopeoplelike.wordpress.com Stuff Ghetto People Like

    I like dusting off the billion jackets I got.

    Beating the cold is way more fun than beating the heat.

    And the freaks are a lot sexier when they get throwing on all those boots…uh no, not Uggs.

    Other than that, love New Year’s. Don’t care for Christmas except for NBA games on the 25th. What’s funny about winter is after Christmas passes, most no one cares for it as it becomes a two month long inconvenience where people complain about their short money.

    • http://presidentialtelevisionandfilm.ning.com Monk

      @Stuff Ghetto People Like,
      “And the freaks are a lot sexier when they get throwing on all those boots…”

      Although I’m a fan of “those boots” and “sweater puppies”, it’s nothing like a good summertime sundress to me. But hey, the sweater puppies will do for now.

      • http://stuffghettopeoplelike.wordpress.com Stuff Ghetto People Like

        @Monk, dowg…I like it all. Sundresses in summer, boots the freaks wear in winter/fall (or to the club), chicks finding the first reason to wear shorts the minute it warms up (like March 1st out here)…all those fly visuals appeal to me!

    • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

      @Stuff Ghetto People Like,

      Ah yes! WInter’s great for showing up a MEAN wool coats collection. I love the feeling of rocking a long fitted wool coat with a pair of knee boots. Ow owww!!!

      • http://stuffghettopeoplelike.wordpress.com Stuff Ghetto People Like

        @Luvvie, that’s a chick thing the fellas won’t understand. We don’t get the wool coat variety y’all do. Too few and far between, I’m still in search of a second color. And L.A. ain’t that cold, so there you go.

    • Deviant

      @Stuff Ghetto People Like,

      In NoVA and Dc all I see is Uggs. Girls here wear Uggs with any and everything like how back in the day dudes wore Tims with everything. I saw a chick on the train this morning with a pantsuit and Uggs.

      • Sadé

        @Deviant,

        though i’m in NYC, i can say that we take the uggs off at work and throw the heels on. uggs may not be the flyest aesthetically, but they keep ur feet warm and sh*t and i need that during my commute.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @Stuff Ghetto People Like,

      this is true. heating up is much more fun and character building than cooling down

      • http://www.firstdatefrenzy.wordpress.com GiGi

        @The Champ,

        trey songz. cute curly-haired chick. ice.
        cooling down, ftw!

    • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

      @Stuff Ghetto People Like,

      “Beating the cold is way more fun than beating the heat.”

      I think it’s easier to get warm than it is to get cool, also. You can put more and more layers on, but there’s only so much you can take off in public…without getting arrested and/or blinding folks’ eyes from your fug body.

      • http://stuffghettopeoplelike.wordpress.com Stuff Ghetto People Like

        @Cheekie, on a “beat the heat” day, I actually think the house is the last place you wanna be, all stationary and lazy, sweatin’ and sh*t, fan all ineffective, running up the electric bill. It’s in one’s best interests to hop in a fun whip (read: NOT a Camry!) and hit the town…especially worth getting to the beach if it ain’t uber crowded. And if you’re single, it gets no better.

        In the winter though, have that *ss in the house, nice and cozy. Especially away from when it rains…when I’m reminded the reason I loved the rain as a kid is because I was indoors.

  • Ivyette

    Best things about winter…

    1.Hot chocolate while snuggling with your sweetie

    2. Christmas and having a reason to have the family together

    3. Driving or walking to see Christmas lights

    4. Football!!! Playoffs and Bowl Games are here!

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @Ivyette,

      as a depressed steeler fan, I hope you don’t mind me saying “f*ck football!!!!!!”

      • ComicBookGuy

        @The Champ,

        As a Cowboys fan, let me cosign that “f*ck football”!!!!

        • http://www.firstdatefrenzy.wordpress.com GiGi

          @ComicBookGuy,

          as a saints fan… who dat!

          • Sula

            @GiGi,

            I am so happy for my NO peeps that I sometimes join in the chorus: Geaux Saints! :lol:

            (because if I want to wait for the Texans to ack right CONSISTENTLY, I might be sitting here for a long arse time… *sigh*)

      • miss t-lee

        @The Champ,
        Yeah…I’m pretty much done watching them for the year as well…lol

  • Happy Meal

    Fresh snow, hot chocolate, heating blankets and outdoor skating rinks….the rest sucks

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @Happy Meal,

      when you gave away your soul, was it done in increments or just one big lump soul sum?

      • Happy Meal

        @The Champ,
        de debbil chipped it away slowly when it froze last winter.

        But it all fairness I will add thigh high socks to the greatness of winter….it has proven to not only keep me warm but double as Le Man’s kryptonite and aphrodisiac ;-)

  • Shay

    Winter is by far my favorite season, but I’m from the south. My winter is different from the winter in DC. The wind in DC is cold. What do DC folk say? It’s brick? It’s hawk? I don’t understand, but it’s way too cold for my southern sensibilities. I’mma have to buy gloves. I’ve never had to buy gloves for winter.

    On that note, I’m headed back home to NC in the morning until January.

    Deuces.

    • http://stuffghettopeoplelike.wordpress.com Stuff Ghetto People Like

      @Shay, that part I do hate: whole planet goes out of town and everything shuts down until after New Year’s.

      On the bright side for me (besides that I’m not the holiday guy like that anyway) is that my whole family is from here. Hence if I took a trip out, it would be to do something new and special, not to be up under ppl I grew up with, LOL.

    • http://nianaturally.blogspot.com N.I.A. lovesthekids….

      @Shay,
      Welcome home!!

      • Shay

        @N.I.A. lovesthekids….,

        Thank ya, I’m delighted to be back.

    • http://www.sandhillsfilmfestival.com Ericka.. yea thats it

      @Shay, I live in NC… and i love how in NC you have to put the heat on at night and the AC on during the day…its wonderful…but my grandma is in Mountains for real and i mean pass Charlotte….wayyy pass charlotte…I go snowboarding and hang out with hippies when i am at UNCAshy ville.

      • Shay

        @Ericka.. yea thats it,

        The QC has been missin’ me, but my mother’s side is from Asheville, I feel ya.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @Shay,

      winter doesn’t count if you never have to rock gloves or mittens. btw, “mittens” is probably up there with “demure” and “dainty” on the list of words you probably should never use in a sentence when describing a grown-ass man

  • aceklub

    Along with the hoodie and scully, you forgot to add the pair of Fresh Tims on your feet as your Ipod is bumping some Jay-Z “Black Republican” or Joell Ortiz “Hip Hop”

    • bittersweet’s baby

      @aceklub,

      Right, Right! ;) And then you inhabit the barely leashed energy/anger of the artists (think M.O.P) & start to feel invincible cuz if you can deal with 20 degree to ten below temps you can do anything… or maybe that’s just me who turns into Supergirl stuck in a cubicle world…

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @aceklub,

      yeah, I forgot about the tims and the ice grill/sneer that makes you feel like you should be an extra in an onyx video

      • aceklub

        @The Champ,
        Better yet, an extra in the “Ante up” video where the first person to cross your path the wrong way, is catching the M.O.P beatdown.

  • http://www.shay-d-lady.com shay-d-lady

    oh my gawd for once I am complete agreement with you…except I swap out wu tang for old school ball and g, and skinny pimp. triple co sign the retarded cursing. I literally laughed till I cried when I read that. I walked outside today and felt as if I had been fi’ed on. it took me a second to realize it was the cold air.
    do you know how cold it has to be to burn?
    lol I know I was cursing like the chick with tourette’s in deuce bigelow

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @shay-d-lady

      I’m getting worried. We’re starting to agree more and more often

      • http://www.shay-d-lady.com shay_d_lady

        @The Champ, I was t hinking the same thing. Yeah this most be some weird foreshadowing kind of thing..

  • http://open.salon.com/blog/hipployta Siobhan Means Woman of Wisdom

    I have alot of fly winter jackets I bought this season…but there is NOTHING good about winter.

    1. Running outside is torture
    2. You can’t be concerned with being cute under the layers
    3. You have to run on a treadmill (see #1)
    4. It’s cold

    • http://aunaptural.wordpress.com Aunaptural

      @Siobhan Means Woman of Wisdom,

      Co-sign the fly winter gear. Nothing like a royal blue, belted and fitted wool coat with some mean knee high stiletto boots. Seshy!

      My extreme disdain for running on treadmills trumps all else. I train for a half marathon in the winter and running anything over 4 miles on a treadmill is torture. I’m that crazy black girl running in 10 below weather. The cold motivates me to keep going and go faster -I’m convinced that if I stop, I’ll surely freeze to death.

      • BKSweetheart

        @Aunaptural, WOW thats amazing, kudos to you for that sh*t. I’m a runner as well and the one thing I hate most about winter is not being able to run outside…. it makes me sad :-(

      • http://open.salon.com/blog/hipployta Siobhan Means Woman of Wisdom

        @Aunaptural, I run half-marathons too…but I am not about to be in the cold…I cross-train in the winter time to mix up the treadmill time

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @Siobhan Means Woman of Wisdom,

      I have a couple of coupons to the used soul store if you needed to drop by and pick one up

      • http://open.salon.com/blog/hipployta Siobhan Means Woman of Wisdom

        @The Champ, Who needs a soul? I’m going to live forever.

    • ComicBookGuy

      @Siobhan Means Woman of Wisdom,

      Hey, comic book buddy.

      • http://open.salon.com/blog/hipployta Siobhan Means Woman of Wisdom

        @ComicBookGuy, my friend! I just had an entire debate about the merits of my Big Two strike when I’m reading Blackest Night on the low. Twitter and comic books make for great times. How are you?

    • Sula

      @Siobhan Means Woman of Wisdom,

      Down here, “winter” is actually the good time for outdoors sports (except this year we’ve had a slush fest and it sucks)… I can finally go biking at 10 am on Saturday without worrying about melting under my helmet… Lol!

      Today’s temperature is 52 degrees F… which is actually very cold. :)

      • ComicBookGuy

        @Sula,

        It is pretty cold today. That nice Gulf Coast wind is making it pretty bad, though. And the rain is supposed to come. Again. :(

      • http://open.salon.com/blog/hipployta Siobhan Means Woman of Wisdom

        @Sula, in response to such statements I’m going to share this Facebook album with you. It’s me during the snow storm this weekend and attempting to clear the driveway of my house. I have video but apparently you can’t share that outside of Facebook (though they’re new policy indicates otherwise). I say all that to say this…SNOW IS THE ENEMY! Four hours shoveling…even with my tenant’s help
        http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=358839&id=834630439

  • http://www.shay-d-lady.com shay-d-lady

    what I like? coming home and rubbing my ice cold body against my hubby who is always warm and sleeping…..
    footed pajamas
    hot chocolate
    non snow snow days…we aren’t use to snow in the south so the mere thought of snow shut everything down..so I get off but no snow or traffic and I still can get delivery
    dressing my daughter in all types of furry boots and sweaters and such
    my child’s eyes on christmas
    off topic my favorite sports blooper is carl lewis singing the national anthem when he goed “uh oh” …lmao
    oh click the link to check out my new blog post

    • miss t-lee

      @shay-d-lady,
      “off topic my favorite sports blooper is carl lewis singing the national anthem when he goed “uh oh” …lmao”

      YES!!!!!!! I love that ish.
      “I’ma make up for it” Um…no Carl, you won’t. :)
      That is my go-to video when I just wanna make myself laugh uncontrollably…lol
      My 2nd fave is Cuba Gooding Sr, butchering the nat’l anthem.
      *snickering*

    • WordSmith

      @shay-d-lady,

      Wait.

      They make footed pajamas for adults? I need some of these ASAPly.

      • Smiley Face

        @WordSmith,

        YES..LAWD..my sister got some from Pajama Gram..with her frickin name on the booty! LOL

  • http://fromselahwithlove.blogspot.com Selah

    My fave thing about winter: it’s holiday season! I love all the christmas music, the lights at night, the smell of christmas trees, the old christmas movie specials (like a Charlie Brown Christmas and the Grinch) ANNND the dark, mysterious looking days, which are great for holding hands, ice skating and all that good stuff.

    Yay for winter! lol

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @Selah,

      “dark, mysterious looking days”

      this is exactly how I feel about the rest of the nfl season