last week produced pittsburgh’s first real taste of winter weather, with wind chills so violent that the mere thought of any outdoor activity induced some of the most awkwardly vulgar obscenities known to man. seriously, in the block walk from crazy mocha to my apartment last thursday, my brain was so appalled by the cold that it somehow convinced me that screaming “sh*tty goat nipples!!!” repeatedly would some how make it better. it didn’t
despite this, I always get a little giddy during this time of year. winter remains far and away my favorite season, and here’s four reasons why:
it builds character
put it this way: if leaving the comforts of a warm bed, blanket, and brown booty at six in the morning to shovel your percolating truck out of three inches of snow just so you can battle 10 miles worth of black ice, backed-up traffic, and bitch-ass priuses so you can sit in a cubicle and make just enough money to pay for you to repeat the entire process tomorrow isn’t character building, then I don’t know what the hell is.
cold weather music
by “cold weather” i’m referring to music thats best appreciated when heard through headphones, in your house by yourself, or in a whip with the windows up. usually this music either inspires you to make babies (ie: “who is jill scott? words and sounds vol. 1”), write your own songs (ie: the roots’ “things fall apart”), reluctantly sell drugs (ie: the gza’s “liquid swords”), or kill people (ie: mobb deep’s “the infamous”)
you can keep your heavy bass, boom-boxes, and laid-back breezy beach beats. gimme a hoodie, a skully, an ipod, and “the war report” and i’m good
the start of hoop season
although “below the rim: a former d-1 players’ awkward journey in search of his missing abs, hops, and pride” would be a perfect title if anyone made a documentary about me now, i still look forward to the beginning of basketball season more than any other single annual occurrence, including my birthday and the season premiere of “for the love of ray j”
the curious cases of the cold weather cuties
while I’ll always adore the energy, liberty, libido, love, and std’s produced by the summers heat, you can’t beat the intrigue and whip appeal of seeing a december sista so fine that her glory finds a way to shine through a parka, two thermals, fur earmuffs, and snow shoes.
plus, unwrapping that gift always makes for a great game of late night coitus kwanzaa
anyway, people of vsb, does anyone share my sentiments? if so, why? what is it about winter that you adore?
if not, what do you store in the space where your soul used to be? milk? staples? condoms? mexicans? I’m curious and sh*t