- Are we both cats yet?
***Before we begin today, we just wanted to thank everyone for their support and votes for The Black Blog Awards. VSB won the both the judges and the popular vote for Best Blog Duo as well as the judges vote for Best Comedy Blog, and we couldn’t have done it without you***
While watching Why Did I Get Married Too Wednesday night, I was overcome with a smorgasbord of different feelings and emotions (amazement, itchiness, pride, embarrassment, and hunger to name a few), but one was a bit more prominent than the rest: regret.
You see, although this movie was released in April, Wednesday was my first time watching it. This meant millions of people had probably already seen it by the time I got around to seeing it. And this (“millions of people had probably already watched it“) meant that all of the snarky comments and critiques I had about the hilariously contrived characters, the awkward attempts at “real male dialogue“, the fisher-price plot twists, Lou Gossett Jr.’s schizophrenic island accent, and Tyler Perry’s airport man switch had probably been discussed, written, tweeted, and blogged about already (case in point), and I regretted that I hadn’t watched the movie sooner so I could have been in on all the fun.
How bad was this movie? Let me put it this way: Being coerced into watching Why Did I Get Married Too is the best get out of jail free card a man could ever have. Like, if you watched it with your girl yesterday and your girl’s birthday was next week but you completely forgot about it because you had been too busy helping your ex-girlfriend paint her kitchen, you could just say “I guess we’re even now” and you would be.
While Why Did I Get Married Too was definitely bad, was it bad enough to crack my list of the five worst movies ever? Lets see.
***For clarity’s sake, in order to make this list, the movie has to have had some sort of expectation of quality. For instance, although I Got the Hook Up and Glitter were definitely terrible movies, they don’t qualify because nobody in their right mind thought they’d be any good. I’ve named this the “Shannon Tweed Tenet”***
Vanilla Sky
Principles: Tom Cruise, Penelope Cruz, Cameron Crowe, Cameron Diaz
Plot: I’ve seen it three times and I still have no f*cking clue.
Why it makes the cut: Not only is Vanilla Sky the worst movie ever made (Yes. It is. Any other movie you’d put in its place would be wrong. Accept this and move on.), it might be single worst thing ever done in any context. It’s worse than the Potato Famine, the Rodney King verdict, Paul Pierce’s beard, medium rare chicken nuggets, the Tuskegee experiment, Warren G. Harding’s presidency, and the projected future of Antonio Cromartie’s kids. There are plagues with more positive attributes than Vanilla Sky. There are albino cockroaches with more redeeming qualities. Calling it a sh*tty movie would be an insult to turds everywhere. An aarkvark rapes a puppy every time this movie is watched.
Bad Santa
Principles: Billy Bob Thorton, Tony Cox, Lauren Graham, Bernie Mack, Brett Kelly
Plot: Billy Bob Thorton–Santa Claus, a con man, and an asshole–meets the dumbest 8 year old on the planet.
Oh, and John Ritter dies. (Too soon?)
Why it makes the cut: There have been worse movies, but Bad Santa deserves special recognition for the potential of what it could have been. There’s no reason in hell why a movie with such a funny and entertaining premise (and funny and entertaining actors) should be so unfunny and aggressively unentertaining.
And, while I’m usually a fan of vulgarity, watching this was like watching a kindergarten choir recite the lyrics to “Put it in Ya Mouth”. Actually, it was worse. It was like watching a kindergarten choir recite the lyrics to “Put it in Ya Mouth” while the 2nd grade student aid is breaking the teacher’s back on the piano.
The Matrix Revolutions
Principles: Keanu Reeves, Carrie-Anne Moss, Laurence Fishburne, The Wachowski Brothers, Hugo Weaving
Plot: Neo is an unstoppable combination of Jesus, Beatrix Kiddo, and Clyde Drexler. Wait, no he isn’t. Wait, yes he is. (For real this time)
Why it makes the cut: While the series had a great beginning, it ended with two and a half hours of preachy and overproduced pseudo-intellectual pretentiousness. Basically, it was exactly like a Lupe Fiasco album.
Transformers 2
Principles: Michael Bay, robots, and some other motherf*ckers
Plot: Good and evil robots stage a bunch of battles on Earth to see how many different ways sweat can drip off of Megan Fox’s slow-motion bouncing boobs
Why it makes the cut: Along with being completely incomprehensible (During the fight scenes, you couldn’t tell which robots you were supposed to be rooting for, and once you figured that out you couldn’t tell if they were winning. Couldn’t they just have gone shirts and skins or something?) and surprisingly racist, this remains the only movie I’ve ever seen that actually induced physical pain. I left the theater with a migraine, an earache, burning eyes, a bloody nose, and somehow even managed to grow a genital wart.
Why Did I Get Married Too
Principles: A bunch of n*ggas you already know
Plot: …………..
Why it makes the cut: Should have been marketed as a science-fiction flick because it contained at least 25 major scenes and plot points that could have never, ever, ever, ever happened on this Earth we currently inhabit. For the sake of time, I’ll only name 3.
1. Troy’s inability to find a job, despite the fact that he was a f*cking 6’4” black police officer…in Atlanta…with experience!!! Recession or not, do you know how many d*cks a big city chief of police would suck if he knew he could hire a 35 year old 6 foot 4 black cop with experience? Let me answer that for you. 7. Trust me, if you live in a big city, your chief of police and your mayor would definitely suck 7 d*cks each to get a person like Troy on their police force. I hope that helps you sleep better tonight.
2. Gavin dying after his $100,000, “specifically built for the race track” car was hit on the passenger side by a truck going 23 miles per hour.
3. The entire subplot around the cellphone password, despite the fact that cellphones don’t have f*cking passwords. While you may need to enter a password if you’re trying to check your voicemail from another line, if you actually physically have the phone, all you have to do is touch it. It’s like sitting on someone’s porch while their door is wide open but begging them for a key. Or something like that.
***9:15am edit: So apparently I’m the last person on Earth who actually doesn’t feel the need to put a password on my cellphone, and I apologize for assuming you all had better people around you.***
Anyway, people of VSB, any additions? What are the worst movies you’ve ever seen?
The carpet is yours.
—The Champ
insomnia rules…
sneak attack
and i concur. all sucked
it’s an to a movie theater from my crib……….
hell naw on all 5 of them b!tches
Well, dang, thanks for ruining “Why Did I Get Married Too” for me. I was looking forward to watching it before I ran in traffic. Oh well. Another tactic…
I keep forgetting that I haven’t seen either Why Did I Get Married movie, since I’ve heard the plots. I can’t motivate myself to care enough to watch. And I don’t know how long I can look at what Janet Jackson thinks is a nose
Ouch
“Ouch”
That’s what her nose said.
Ok, lemme stop.
“Why Did I Get Married Too
.
Plot: …………..”
HAHAHAHA
Catwoman (Halle Berrys)
Clearly they just wanted to see how much money having Halle running around in leather tights would make.
Can we also include roles? Because I vote for any movie that has Common playing a hood dude (Terminator Salvation, Street Kings, Date Night), I’m sorry but he is not a convincing hood in the least bit. Love him as an MC (Used to Love Her, A Song for Assata, Come Close etc.) but he should stick to the coffee-shop ninja persona.
For those who don’t know who a coffee shop ninja is:
ffw to 1:23 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCGV4MV5J2M
Hold up, wait a minute!!
Smoking Aces was a good movie and Common did his thing in it, as well as A. Keys….
Catwoman (Halle Berrys)
Clearly they just wanted to see how much money having Halle running around in leather tights would make.
if i extended the list to 6 this would have made it. well, either this or “an american haunting”
Not An American Haunting!!! That movie was classic!
Your movie barometer needs to be re-calibrated. lol
I honestly don’t feel sorry for any of you mofos who go and to a Tyler Perry and are disappointed (Shocking!). I got to (or rent) the movies with a certain expectation of what I’m going to see i.e. First Sunday is clearly (just from the previews) a friday-is-movie-night type of deal so I’m not going to see it. Transformers 2 (sans the minstrel show robots) was clearly about blowing sh*t up, I expected that and I was pleased.
Tyler Perry’s movies where stage shows first, you literally already saw the basic premise of the entire movie already and yet you expected something else to happen, as bad as this may sound, just lower your expectations a litt… a lot. I can watch his movies without a guilty conscience because I know what I’m going to see, probably a dark-skinned bald from Law and Order as the enem #boondocks. The only movie of his that surprised me was The Family that Preys, I actually enjoyed that. But I have to admit, The Rock at the end of WDIGM2 was utterly the most RANDOM shit I have ever seen in a movie.
btw apparently Perry is willing to get rid of Madea http://www.shadowandact.com/?p=29779
Totally cosign the comment about Transformers 2. I went for a few things:
1. Cute Dudes (Tyrese & Josh Duhamel)
2. Robot Fights!
I got both of those things. Who cares if the plot was more convoluted than Lindsay Lohan’s thought process? Who cares if it made less sense than Uggs in the summer? I think too much at school and work, when I watch movies, sometimes I just want to let my mind go.
On WDIDM2, I knew it wasn’t going to be awesome, but I mean, that movie had the WORLD’S QUICKEST CONFLICT RESOLUTION. I mean, damn instead of wasting my time chasing a man around about a cell phone, could we have resolved those dead baby issues? Dayum. However, seeing the Rock’s fine EVERYTHING really made it all worthwhile for me. #swoon
haha! ur right about transformers. accept it for what it is. it supposed to be a campy explosive blockbuster and it was and i enjoyed seeing one robot rip through another.
as far as tyler perry… i feel bad for the guy. we (black folks) have somehow elected him class president. he is doin what he does. just because he is a black film maker doesnt mean his films have to appeal to, represent, and please everyone. impossible. take it for what it is and keep it moving.
The Rock…shocked the sh1t out of me. it made it worth the money cuz it hit me hard at the end of a pointless and hastily written movie. at least i left feeling something (appalled)!
“But I have to admit, The Rock at the end of WDIGM2 was utterly the most RANDOM shit I have ever seen in a movie.”
I thought to myself “WTF? Where did he come from, and why?” There was no rhyme or reason to the second movie, and the plot with Janet turning evil beeyotch on wheels and Gavin a drunken slurring jackass made it even worse. I definitely laughed a lot – probably in all the wrong places.
first is the worst…second is the best…
Tim Burton’s Alice In Wonderland. I saw it in 2D, so I don’t know if the 3D experience made it better. It was unwatchable because Tim Burton couldn’t decide whether he was making a movie for children or adults, and made a movie neither group would like
Word…..
Break-dancing at the end of a movie, smh
O.M.G. That part came on and I just sat there like, “Burton cannot be serious with this..” And the “Scottish” brogue? Ugh.
Not to mention the fact that Alice kept denying who she was way past the point of believability. Just disappointing all the way around.
Seriously….that movie had so much potential and good underlying message….but d@mn! Happy I didn’t pay for my ticket to see it in IMAX
i saw it in 3D and kept thinking id have rather paid to see the original even when i have it at the crib for free.
disappointing hardly sums up my feelings about this movie. *smh*
How can u say Vanilla Sky wasn’t great! I fux w/ it. Im the only guy i know that does, but I do, it’s quality! I agree w/ each and every one of the other four tho
Wow, I’m going to write his date and time down,:-) I’ve never heard anyone say they liked Vanilla Sky. NEVER.
I second that writing of the time/date, miss t-lee. In fact, I was purposely scanning the thread looking for someone to refute that it sucked, knowing full well that I wouldn’t.
“Genuine Surprise”, thy name is CWeave.
I liked Vanilla Sky. BOOM!
Two words for Vanilla Sky
It sucked….
Carry on!
I fux w/ it.
I do too. SECURITYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!
if you’re thinking of it as a comedy, then, yes, it was a great movie.
tom cruise as elephant man…. priceless.
“How can u say Vanilla Sky wasn’t great!”
*crickets*
Siam, is that you????
Because yeah, I have some friends who are trying to make it look like the movie is good… I say NO!
I really enjoyed “Vanilla Sky”. Apparently it’s a remake of a Spanish film (also starring Penelope Cruz) called, “Open Your Eyes”. I love Penelope, though. She’s got that crazy look in her eyes.
I absolutely adore Penelope… I mean Volver was just brilliant.. but if they attempted in making a “US” version of it, it would just fall flat… because the contexts are sooo different!
So I’m pretty sure Abros Los Ojos was great… It’s just that some plots just don’t translate well…
*Actually* cell phones do have passwords. Needless to say, that does not change the fact that I agree with you… cellphone password subplot = ridiculous. I completely despise that movie too, there’s no way you could’ve written this list and without including it (well, it’d be on my list anyway). I’m still so annoyed that I had to sit through that thing.
Okay, that is all.
I have the password feature enabled on my blackberry (since my jealous a*s boyfriend tends to display some Tasha Smith-like symptoms on occasion). If you don’t know my password, you can’t do nothing on it but look at the time.
Yeah, phones do have passwords. And I’ve had the phone password issue in a relationship. But really, if I’m suspicious of cheating and start getting all crazy about wanting the password, now I just let the whole relationship drop. Life is too short people.
And people need to stop cheating, by the way.
Well, dang, thanks for ruining “Why Did I Get Married Too” for me. I was looking forward to watching it before I ran in traffic. Oh well. Another tactic…
“Crossover” with Wesley something or another from that 90′s sitcom “City High”, Eva Marcelle, and some other random people is the worst movie I’ve seen. OMG, It was like some idiot gave the green light for a BET movie to be released in theaters instead of straight-to-DVD like it should have been. This has to be the worst writing, worst plot line, worst actors cast in a film…just bad all around. I swear at one point in the film you could see the microphone wires in the studio hanging down from the ceiling! No joke.
I pretty much agree with all except Bad Santa. I thought that movie was ridiculously hilarious. And “Why Did I…” was kinda bad, but since you said that this list is for movies that had to have “some sort of expectation of quality”, I don’t think this movie qualifies. All of Tyler Perry’s movies are predictable and unrealistic, so this one was no shocker.
your list was good but cellphones def have passwords. My phone do.
Co-sign on their being no redeeming qualities to “I Got the Hook Up.” However, “I’m Bout It” was so bad, it was hilarious.
“Do I look like a 50 cent (Dr. Laura)….”
Between that line and Helen Martin, I totally agree on “I’m Bout It”.
Can we add Juno to the list. Thanks
Also, the Best Man.
Ohh and He’s Just Not That Into You
Juno was funny, but I’m into indie white flicks… did that even make sense? LOL
I second you on “The Best Man.” Which made me think of all the other movies where either Morris Chestnut and Gabby Union are a couple or Taye Diggs and Sanna Lathan are a couple… of of which are dumb as heck!
-The Best Man
-Brown Sugar
-Perfect Holiday
- Disappearing Acts with W. Snipes makes the list b/c he looked like a cancer patient and her lip sync was horrid
-The Brothers
^^@PABP
“I’m into indie white flicks”
I bet u have a copy of “Run,Lola,Run” in ur DVD player right now.
haha…
I LOOOOOVE “Run Lola Run”. I enjoyed “Juno” as well. I must be into “indie White flicks”. It makes sense, considering I’m from Austin, TX, a town of crunchy, organic hippies. I’m a little crunchy my dang self.
I’m from Austin, TX,
I absolutely love this town.
Yeah…the hippes do run this town.
I plan on seeing Machete just because I met Robert Rodriguez once and he was madd cool. Been supporting his wild azz films ever since.
Juno was funny, but I’m into indie white flicks… did that even make sense?
So am I… so I dug Juno.
(and I do have Run, Lola, Run in the Netflix queue… how predictable have I become… *smh*)
I like Indie white flicks too, but Juno was awful.
Her nonchalant attitude about her pregnancy and life in general was just plain ridiculous. I went to a HS where girls frequently became pregnant and they didn’t behave anything like her. They matured quickly.
I liked The Brothers.
*Can we add two can play that game to the list lol
*throat punch* to you Champie. I mean there’s like 20% chance that I will ever watch WDIGM2, but I would have still appreciated a spoiler alert warning or something. DANG.
You already listed my vote for worst movie which of course is Vanilla Sky, I’ve mentioned my hatred of this movie at length before here on VSB, so I’ll keep it short-I feel like all of us who watched that P.O.S. movie should file a class action law suit to have our time and money reimbursed. F*ckin’ guppies.
I co-sign’s miss t-lee proposal for the class action suit. I’m in.
I say YES to a class action suit. Any lawyers in here?
Ima throw out “Inception”… just cuz it was HYPED toooo much…
Great acting, cast, script, production, cgi, BUT the plot sucked! Seriously I was mad! :-/
i have to agree with you Inception was a horrible movie. I mean you want to talk about concepts and plots that are worthless, this one was WORTHLESS. All I kept hearing people say was how “deep” it was. I should have known then to save those 2.5 hours of my life for something important, like watching paint dry, but I was a sucka and watched it. GAWD AWFUL is all I have!
whoa whoa whoa WHOA!!
thats just going too far. lol.
its not a movie that was hyped BEFORE its released (see major blockbusters), it was hyped AFTER. when was the last time a movie did that? packed theatres (i paid to see it TWICE!!) even weeks after its release.
Where’s Nickerz?????
I was disappointed too. I think it has the deepest plot of any movie to come out recently but the execution wasn’t quite right.
2 out of 3 neuroscientist friends of mine said they didn’t like the movie and didnt find it that “deep”.
i was looking forward to seeing it until they told me this. im worried my sciency mind will overanalyze the movie and completely destroy my viewing pleasure.
im torn. *shrugs*
You are right. The premise starts out intriguing but I overanalyzed it and noticed all the holes and then was like, meh.
whoa, WHOA PEOPLE!!! let’s not get out of hand here! inception was a GREAT MOVIE!!!!
As for Why Did I get Married Too. It started out ok but that ending was so absurd it was comedic. It’s like TP just got lazy and said F*ck It, we’re just going to end this however the hell I want to, smh.
And yea Champie, plenty of people have passwords on their cell phones, including me. I’ve seen too many people just pick up someone’s phone that’s sitting there and just go thru all their business(nosey mo-fos) so I def put a password on my phone.
I haven’t seen Inception, and probably never will. It’s too hyped up, which of course, means I’m bound to hate it.
Agreed. Though – people thought Bad Santa was gonna be good?
I’ve only seen Transformer 2 out of the 5 listed and I was only reminded I saw that one when I thought I hadn’t seen any of them…
@Champ, how does your girl feel about you putting her “I appreciate you this morn” business up in this post?
Two additions:
1. Unbreakable. Bruce Willis and Samuel L. Jackson. Plot: I’ve purposely put it out of my brain because I thought it was that bad. No seriously, every time I have to tell someone what I think the worst movie ever is, I have to go to Bruce Willis’ wiki page to look up the name because I subconsciously displace it.
2. Takers. I didn’t expect much from the film. But it was poorly written and the subplot were undeveloped to the point where I spent the most of the film laughing at stuff I shouldn’t have been laughing at.
And yeah, the next time I see the “smoothly walk away from something I’m intentionally blowing up as though that isht might not eff me up in the process” shot I’m walking out of the theater and demanding a refund. I don’t care if it’s 95 minutes into a 103-minute film.
Unbreakable was. . .
it just. . .
pain… oh so much pain…
I figured it out tho, up until airbender, i figured M. Night was on a “on 1, off 1″ tactic. like one would be good, then the next one would be like death, then the next one would be good..
but the last airbender effed up that rotation..
OH! The Last Airbender… you can’t eff up something people have a history with and expect me to still love you.. This is the part where I would say that I hope he gets some “ack right.” but I will add “write right” and “direct right” to that too.. just get AllRightErrthang!
#ThatIsAll
the last airbender was such a disappointment. had popcorn diet coke ready seated early and everything and was like WTH???? Left after i finished my popcorn.
Takers was horrible!! The worse acting ever!!! And the plot… they rushed the second half of the movie. Oh well, but I’ve seen it twice. It’s Idris Elba’s fault for being so fine!!!! Swoons!
girl, did you see him in those boxer briefs…. did you see the HIM. did you see those goods?!?!?!?! ::cues niki minaj fabric blood::
DEAD.
…and scene.
LMBO!!
Umm, I’m buying the movie for this scene alone.
I’m buying a 50″ flat screen for this scene alone.
in high definition too lol
See, I so didn’t go see Takers for any plots or anything relatively close to it… For what I went there for? I was helluva satisfied.
*dreamily reminisces*
And yeah, the next time I see the “smoothly walk away from something I’m intentionally blowing up as though that isht might not eff me up in the process” shot I’m walking out of the theater and demanding a refund. I don’t care if it’s 95 minutes into a 103-minute film.
CO-SIGN!!!!!!!!! Takers was def a movie where they just threw together a bunch of cliche action scenes and put it all together to make this film, smh….. The only cool moment in the movie was Chris Brown’s parkour action scene but even that has been done many times over.
Sorry everyone. Didn’t think I would need to put spolier tags on an entry titled “5 Worst Movies Ever”. My bad.
Yeah, that’s why I purposely avoided the WDIGM2 section. I really wanna read it because I know it’s hilarious, but I’m gonna refrain til I see the hot mess. And boy, you KNOW folks love terrible movies. That’s why they invented the term “cult classic.” Not to say that every cult classic is a terrible film, but a lot are.
*shakes head vigorously*
Nope. There are some terruble cult classics (I will put Rocky Horror at the top of this list and I don’t care what anyone says), but there are some great ones. Boondock Saints, Idiocracy, Arrested Development, etc.
You’re kinda saying the same thing I was, homie! lol I said not all cult classics are bad…
I’m just specifically talking about the occurence when usually a lot of terrible films become cult classics simply because they’re bad. Like folks have stood in line to watch bad movies just ’cause they’re horrible. That Shark versus Giant Octopus bullish become HELLA popular. That’s why I said it makes sense that Champ should spoiler ish.
Yeah… I started writing my comment before I even made it to that last sentence.
Proceed.
LOL, something I do all the time. I actually did it today I think lol
Here are the worst movies that I have personally seen: Leonard Part VI. Waist Deep. Good Burger. The Honeymooners remake. Friday After Next. The Wash. State Property. State Property 2. Vampire in Brooklyn. Showtime. Held Up. Freddy Got Fingered. Anaconda. Booty Call. Juwanna Man. Street Fighter. 23. Codename: The Cleaner. Dead Man on Campus. Bones.
You know what… this hurts, so I’m just going to stop here.
BTW, Bad Santa was f*cking hilarious.
did u relly think any of those movies were going to be good. As champ stated:
***For clarity’s sake, in order to make this list, the movie has to have had some sort of expectation of quality. For instance, although I Got the Hook Up and Glitter were definitely terrible movies, they don’t qualify because nobody in their right mind thought they’d be any good. I’ve named this the “Shannon Tweed Tenet”***
I didn’t, but I’d forgotten all the movies I had expectations of because they sucked so much (hi, Iron Man 2).
Bad Santa does not belong on the list. Everything else is money, especially WDIGMT. I know sometimes, I’ll write a blog post, go away for second, and then I’m like “Oh f*%k it, I’ll just write anything so I can get it out. That’s why I’m convinced TP did for WDIGM2. I was actually trying to give him props for improving, as The Family That Preys and Why Did I Get Married were noticeably better than his previous works. But it was more of a case of the sun shining on a dog’s ass than him actually improving. I Can Do Bad All By Myself, Meet the Browns, and WDIGMT were as bad or worse than his earlier stuff. I appreciate movies where he doesn’t dress up like a woman, but at the same time, it’s always hard to buy him in the movies where he puts extra bass in his voice.
I also learned tonight that people apparently put passwords on their cell phones. self-important bastards
i have a password on my cell phone camera. just cuz i took it don’t mean you need to see it. bam!
I actually just saw a man on the train the other day putting in his password on his iPhone right next to me. If I looked close enough, I would’ve seen what he put, but I was too sleepy to care. It was after work and I was feeling less evil and psycho than usual.
I’m trying to picture how close that phone would have to be to your face for you to make out the password he was typing.
-_- <– Cheekie with her eyes wide open
*sends a miss t-lee protege to throat punch That Damn African*
Cheekie, did That Damn African just call you out on
National TVon VSB? On this here Friday morning??I say a throat punch is indeed warranted.
Right?!
HE SAID MY NAME?! *Marlo snarl*
you just mad cuz you made a dumb statement based on your experience alone lol.
i have a password on my phone because my LIFE is on my phone. my droid has access to my email accts, my calendar,
sext messages,and a host of other personal information. if some one randomly steals it (as was the case last month) theyd be able to get any and all my information available. thats a NO NO. im not that important but dammit i shant be a victim of identity theft if i can help it!I fully agree w/ the fact that “Vanilla Sky” is at the top of this list. When I first watched it, the ending made me bang my head against the wall. Then I watched it AGAIN immediately after and got even more confused as to why I wasted 3 precious hours of my life I’d never get back. AWFUL.
Other movies that belong on the “Worst” list are:
Gigli
Eyes Wide Shut
Both of these movies could go straight to hell.
I so very much agree with “Eye Wide Shut”. I feel like I should gift you rice or something….
This movie was so bad I had to come out of lurkerdom to concur. I watched it a few times just to verify how terrible it actually was.
Eyes Wide Shut was a great movie.
on what planet??
1. Cellphones have passwords your phone probably has the option to use one. The fact that you don’t is probably the reason why its an issue in a relationship for those that do use it…I know several instances where access to the cell phone password has
Caused a major public breakdown, fights and 1 ninja with 28 stitches
I think tyler perry movies are only for southern black people cause a lot of shyt seems to only happen here.. Lol
2. Its a tyler perry film so wouldn’t expectation for it being “good” actually be little to none
And thus disqualifying it from competition based on your rules?
Anyway I do agree with your choices though
As much as it pains me to say
Happy friday
“2. Its a tyler perry film so wouldn’t expectation for it being “good” actually be little to none”
I agree, saying a Tyler Perry film is bad is like saying water is wet.
“I think tyler perry movies are only for southern black people cause a lot of shyt seems to only happen here”
Amen to this one!!!
This whole statement wraps it up. He is a regional movie director same as a young Spike Lee.
Hopefully he will be smart enough to branch out like Spike did.
(Because I need to see everything that is Tyler Perry foolery, I plan on watching Why Did I Get Married Too, soon. I haven’t seen it yet out of sheer procrastination, so I just completely skipped over that part of the entry.)
I did the complete opposite for the Matrix Revolutions entry. I didn’t see it and refuse to see it based on the complete and total disappointment in Matrix Reloaded. It was too much going on. It was so much going on, nothing was going on at all. And this deserves a “Co-sign!” t-shirt:
“While the series had a great beginning, it ended with two and a half hours of preachy and overproduced pseudo-intellectual pretentiousness. ”
GAWD YES. This is actually how I felt about a bulk of Matrix Reloaded actually. It was trying way too hard to pull us down a rabbit hole. And that rabbit hole smelled like failure and Vince Vaughn at a Cubs games.
The Worst Movie for me is definitely Vanilla Sky. I usually try not to regret ish and abide by the “everything happens for a reason” mantra, but seeing this f*ck of cluster at the dayum show?! WORST. Decision. Evah. In. The. History. Of. Brain. Activity. I didn’t walk out because I kept hoping it would get better. That something would happen in even 1/10th of a frame that’ll justify the nonsensical scenes that followed it. Didn’t happen. It just got worse. Thankfully, I forgot about 93% of this film. I love being senile sometimes.
“I didn’t see it and refuse to see it based on the complete and total disappointment in Matrix Reloaded.”
Ok?? We went to see Reloaded on day one – all excited cause of the original. Me and my husband (no longer fiance -woo hoo!) were the ONLY Black folks in the theater and we FULLY lived up to the “Black folks always talkin’ during the movie” stereotype! Girl, it was ugly. We walked out of that theater mean-muggin’, cussin’ and spittin’. That was by far THE WORST sequel to such a brilliant and innovative movie that I’ve ever seen. We saw “Revolutions” hoping it would shed some light on the previous BS, but Girl, it was even worse. We own all 3 DVDs solely for the sake of triliogy’s sake, but Reloaded and Revolutions are still vacuum sealed – never to be opened. I wouldn’t even bury those mugs in a time capsule for future generations.
“That was by far THE WORST sequel to such a brilliant and innovative movie that I’ve ever seen.”
Right! I was absolutely in love with The Matrix and was so looking forward to the sequel then I saw it. WTF was THAT about?! It’s like the Wachowski brothers (ain’t one of em a sister now?) was pulling a cruel joke on its fans. *kanyeautotune* We lose, we lose.
@RedBeanzNRice w/Smothered Pork Chops
congrats on the nuptuals!!
Oh, right…I meant to say this too! Congrats RedBeanz!!!
*throws rice-shaped glitter*
Yay rice!! Thanks so much!!
Thanks so much!
Because I need to see everything that is Tyler Perry foolery, I plan on watching Why Did I Get Married Too, soon. I haven’t seen it yet out of sheer procrastination, so I just completely skipped over that part of the entry.)
co-sign. i wanna see just for the chits and giggles
Tyler Perry definitely provides beaucoup chits and giggles. Or “shiggles”, as my girl Gemmie would say.
i like it. shiggles.
Men, I watched that tyler perry buffoonery and I never wanted to cry because of a suckery movie like I did that one, I had made my husband watch it with me and am still paying for it, that was a month ago.
I never watched vanilla sky and i dont plan to.
Add couples retreat.
Oh and SHARRAP, Champ!!! I LIKED WDIGM2! I loved it. I ain’t shamed to admit it. LOVED IT I SAY!!! But I’m a fan of Tyler Perry. This may be inconsistent w/ the rest of my beliefs. I just love me some Tyler!
And #shoutout to that spoiler you dropped with no disclaimer. You just ruined the movie for the 5 ppl out of 5,000 who cared to see it. You ain’t sh*t.
i LOVE it when people say, “you ain’t shit.” Good day.
Oh Thuggie Luvvie, say it ain’t so! WDIGM was a really good movie – VERY engaging! But WDIGM2 was awful – flat out awful. I’m not even sure why they made a sequel, I mean, it’s not like the first one had a cliff hanger that made fans frenzy to rush and see what happened next. Since they DID do a sequel, all I’m saying is that they could have done better. WAY better.
On the flip-side, “The Family that Preys” was a VERY good TP movie! Personally, I think it’s one of his best.
Like Miss T-Lee Mentioned, we discussed some of these movies at length before. The thought of these flicks still got me Salt Lake City. Marcia Ambrosius. :
1. Cable Guy (I don’t even know if I expected it to be good, but if there is any llist for the worst movie, I am listing this mug.)
2. Bloodrayne
3.Ultraviolet (although there are some cool special effects but that friggin’ kid has been typecast as the sci-fi victim kid so much, it’s ridiculous! …and the plot to this movie just circles the drain)
*Teresa from New Jersey House Wives table flip*
*Teresa from New Jersey House Wives table flip*
LOL…why did I laugh til tears fell at her doing that. Hilarious.
How can I forget UltraViolet!!! I was soooo pissed at the theater… Like really, really, REALLY?
And I do dig Milla Jovovich… but Ultraviolet was just annoying. Blech.
Thank you! I just needed someone else who saw it to feel me on this, lol!
Co-Sign on the Matrix!!
If I never hear “anomaly” for the rest of my life, it’ll be too soon… the same goes for “keymaker” and “oracle.”
although I will tolerate the word “oracle” in Neverending Story.. (LOVE that movie!)
I told my mom that WDIGM2 is that movie you watch when you hate yourself, your life, and you wanna punish your eyes for being able to see. oh so bad… whoo wee, oh so bad!
Tranformers 2: one word, consistency.. cuz you know and i know that there is NO WAY that heaux could’ve been running around in dirt and kept them white pants clean.. i’ma need my robot movies tobe realistic.. lol.. ain’t that much oxyclean in the world to get that out!!
but yeah, you couldn’t tell who was winning and why am i cheering for the bad guy, oh yeah that’s right.. because i lost focus for a nanosecond..
i don’t have anything to add right now.. the requisite that the movie be one with good expectations is throwing me a little..
catch ya’ll in the morning..
Haha the OCD in me was thinking that about Megan Fox. Like how come her make-up still looked right and her outfit looked clean? lol No sand in the hair…nothing.
I actually do like Vanilla Sky, for much of the same reason I liked Belly or The Cell. Visually, they were captivating. And the dialogue is so hilariously random (in all 3 cases) that it’s fun to turn them into philosophical allegories and invent entire subtexts out of thin air. Or play drinking games among friends. I’ve heard the original, Abre Los Ojos, is much much better though. I suspect something got lost in the cultural translation…like plot, or character development.
The rest of your choices are spot on. I would use the word “pissed” in regards to WDIGMT. All I could think of the whole time was what that $10 could have gotten me instead of two hours of my brain slowly imploding. I think I’m gonna dl it and send copies to all my sworn enemies. That’ll send a clear message.
In addition:
Pretty much everything Jennifer Aniston has done in the past 5-7 years qualifies.
Pretty much everything Ben Affleck has done in the past 5-7 years.
Stealth. Just awful.
King Kong. I hate this movie on multiple levels, deep down in my soul. This movie killed my crush on Adrian Brody forevermore just by virtue of association.
Jurassic Park 2. Why, Steve, why?
3000 Miles to Graceland. Due to various reasons related to my college exploits, I can’t even remember this movie. All I can recall is the feeling of being horrified and disgusted…and under the circumstances, I should have been in a much better mood.
Double Take. Saw this flick for free, and I still wanted my money back.
THE CELL?!?!?!?!?! You can’t be serious…now that was one GAWD AWFUL movie. I mean just horrendously terrible. That should have made the list right under Vanilla Sky.
But it was pretty though…
Pretty much everything Jennifer Aniston has done in the past 5-7 years qualifies.
um.. can i say ever? eva eva!!
The Good Girl was actually pretty good.
And, of course, Office Space.
PS-Damn, it’s good to be a gangsta.
“Double Take. Saw this flick for free, and I still wanted my money back”
This made me giggle. Truth
Even Chris Tucker watched this movie and though “That’s a little over the top.”
Pretty much everything Ben Affleck has done in the past 5-7 years.
This saddens me so much… but he’s kinda reprising his role from Good Will Hunting in The Town (not literally so but the same type of character, you know from a blue-collar background in South Boston, trying to be “better”)… and I am hoping, praying that it’s not a disappointment… but we shall see.
I have to co-sign on Jennifer Aniston. She’s just a movie killer in my mind. She needs to quit and rest a little bit.
Yeah, The Town actually looks good. I’m hoping for a comeback for Ben. I’ve been checkin’ for him since Mallrats the Kevin Smith days of old.
Jennifer…she does need to go sit down for a while. But I can’t be mad at her for picking up paychecks and hooking up with Hollywood’s hottest. After I made a certain amount of $$$ on the screen, I’d probably start pimping out Hollywood as my personal dating service too.
Where’s cloverfield? That was beyond trash.
Regarding WDIGMT: I literally booed at the screen when the credits rolled. All the women had horrible weaves, especially Jill Scott. Continuity problems were so bad, catching them was the only thing that could keep my interest – how many times I could catch Tyler Perry effin up. Favorite part is a tie between Janet channeling MJ before chasing her husband to his death OR screaming FIX IT. honestly a toss up.
o0OMG!! i thought me and my homegirl were the only ones who caught that MJ neck snake w/ the arms out!! ive only seen it once but thats one of the only parts i remember! the other thing i remember is that alot of parts made me uncomfortable by the awkwardness. smh i really cant even put it into words…so ill just tell yall what scenes:
1. when they first got to the house on the island. How many times were they gonna say how beautiful the house was??
2. cicely tyson.
3. tasha smith lookin like a crackhead when she ran out the water.
Tyler Perry should be embarrassed.
I saw Cloverfield and enjoyed it. Probably because I was watching it with a bunch of ignant folks…you know how you have more fun with the experience than the actual movie? That’s kinda what it was like. I probably won’t see it again…and definitely not alone. It’s the kinda movie you gotta watch with folks to enjoy lol.
first of all, thank you for including “bad santa.” i went with people (and by “people,” i mean by boyfriend at the time.) that thought it was hilariously funny and i could.not.believe.it. he even rented it and watched it again. yeah, no. i don’t fuxx with him anymore.
i’m gonna add:
“she hate me.” i’m sorry. i tried. i luh spike lee, i really do. but i just could not get into that. i thought the actors were great, but something about the darkness of the movie and the feel of it in general made me not even care enough to try to get into it.
“district 9″-i’m sure i’ve mentioned this movie here before when we were talking about bad movies, but it just sucks so much. it’s terrible, it really is.
also, i would also like to preemptively nominate that new m. night shamalan film, the devil. first because m. night’s movies usually end up kind of wack. and 2, because um………i don’t know what you heard, but i don’t play with no mess like that. so….that’s enough for me to throw it on m’list.
@charli skipper
I liked District 9…addressed some “issues” in a round about fashion
lol @ she hate me….I sure do hate that movie
“addressed some “issues” in a round about fashion”
now, that’s true. had it not been for the segregation/apartheid/race parallels, i wouldn’t have made it through at all. but, then, at the same time, i was like………so the roachy alien things are likened to black people?! aw hell nah! that movie couldn’t win my heart for losin.
“she hate me.” i’m sorry. i tried. i luh spike lee, i really do. but i just could not get into that.
She Hate Me is a great ploy for heterosexual men to watch two of the hottest women on the planet engage in simulated lesbian sex cinematic excellence.
And how did AI: Artificial Intelligence not make this list? If I could unwatch that atrociity and watch Vanilla Sky in it’s place, I’d take the deal. Steven Spielberg committed a hate crime making that 3 hours of hell.
Strikethrough FAIL
She Hate Me is
a great ploy for heterosexual men to watch two of the hottest women on the planet engage in simulated lesbian chexcinematic excellence.#carryon
I cosign. She Hate Me had me like O_O. It was definitely hawt…unbelievable…but hawt all the same.
i totally thought that scene was hot. but since i didn’t like the movie itself, i felt strange for being so awed by it. like, i embarrassed myself to myself because i felt like a
manpervert.oh, and phone booth. i totally thought it was gonna be riveting, but it was just a bunch of collin farrel cursing and smoking like usual and paula jai parker actin like a garden tool as usual. i coulda spent that 2 hours watchin the real housewives.
I agree with you Champ. WDIGM2 was really, really bad and I liked the first one. The second one just made no sense and would never happen from the ex showing up on the vacation to the car accident and all of the crazy subplots.
Spiderman 3……..
1. Peter Parker turn into some douche with a bang.
2. Vemon is a secondary character to sandman. *faceplam*
3. Last 30 minutes of the movie was weakest attempt in drama I ever seen. “Stop trying to make me feel sorry for these people, AAAGH”
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull:
1. Aliens
2. Surviving a nuclear blast inside a fridge………..Yeah
“1. Peter Parker turn into some douche with a bang.”
YES. That ONE scene of him doing that emo performance was enough to ruin the complete film for me. It wasn’t that great anyway, but that scene alone was probably the worst decision evah. It was so hilariously out of place…I kinda wish I saw it at the theater because I heard urban legends of the entire theatre audience bursting into laughter.
Probably one of my biggest WTF moments.
I thought the emo performance was rather entertaining,lol
Cornball @ss Toby Maguire
I kinda wish I saw it at the theater because I heard urban legends of the entire theatre audience bursting into laughter.
Yes, we did. It’s 10 times funnier when all the strangers in the room are all as bewildered as you are and exchange “wtf?” looks in the dark.
This happened when I went to see it. Movie was going along well, then . . . JAZZ HANDS!!!
W. T. F?
I’m *that* person who talks to the screen, and I said what I was thinking: WHUT THEE FUUUUUCCC just happened here? Two rows of people laughed with me. That scene messed up the trajectory of the entire film for me. Along with the random street dancing before he bought the new suit.
*shudders*
I don’t even remember Spiderman 3.. but this right chere
“Movie was going along well, then . . . JAZZ HANDS!!!”
made my whole life right now…
did i actually DO the jazz hands, why yes, yes i did..
I f***ing hated that movie. Spiderman is in my top 3 favorite superheros so I was extra pissed at this movie. Emo Peter Parker?? And they completely and utterly messed up Venom, the best Spiderman villain and one of the deepest stories in Spiderman. The Venom story could have had 2 movies dedicated to it because there’s that much, but they give him 30 minutes in a secondary villain role. GTFOH!
I hated Spider-Man 3. I really did. I agree with TDA. They messed up probably Spider-Man’s best villain in that movie.
Right…I was super excited because Venom was gonna be in there. And word, to Mr. Gundamn. Like, how the EFF you gone put Venom in the background? So much potential…completely ignored and/or thrown away.
lol, sorry about the typo up there, Mr. Gundam. Cursing yo name and ish. A thousand apologies.
I wanted to love Spiderman 3, because Spiderman is my favourite,but Spiderman 3 was on some other stuff. They did too much when they didn’t have to and did too little when they needed to do more. Venom.
Just all bad everything.
Transformers 2 is so bad that it’s not worth mentioning. I don’t count it as a real movie. I fell asleep during The Matrix Revolutions but I wouldn’t put it on a “worst ever” list. Stompin – now THAT was painful. I thought if nothing else I would see some great choreography, but the film was so poorly made, I was stunned.
Wow Champale, you actually saw a Tyler Perry movie? Just two weeks ago you were so proud to say that you’ve never seen one. Bragging rights REVOKED!
Worst movies ever:
1. THE Final Destination. (#4) And when will they EVER have a FINAL movie? I mean for real – do those fools know what FINAL means? Jeez Louise.
2. Drag Me to Hell. Worse than The Final Destination. I happened to catch it the other day on cable, and I wanted to throw bricks at my tv repeatedly. And not the soft poly-foam TV bricks – I mean the REAL ones. Almost 2 hours of my life I’ll never get back.
3. First Sunday. I LOVE Ice Cube, Katt Williams and Tracy Morgan to pieces, but for real? THIS is the best yall could come up with? I’m thinkin’ by the title that it would be some sort of spin-off from the “Friday” trilogy, but no such luck. Worst Ice Cube movie EVER.
4. Nacho Libre. – flatline -
OK. Why did I laugh all through Drag Me The Hell? You have to admit that old woman was funny as hell. When her teeth fell out I howled! The main character was a horrible actress! I applauded at the end of the movie. LOL
“The main character was a horrible actress! I applauded at the end of the movie.”
Agreed 100%! I applauded cause I was SO happy to see her get killed off. The old lady and her teeth falling out was funny as heck and OMG, what about that talking goat?
I swear during Drag Me to Hell I was repeating my initial reaction of wtf and trying to figure out if it was actually a horror spoof like Shaun of the Dead ! This was the worst movie I have seen in the last year.
1. Haven’t seen it, but I don’t doubt it was bad. And Hollywood will stop making Final Destination movies the same time they stop making those Scary Movie-esque movies (Date Movie, Epic Movie, Vampires Suck). So, you’re looking at “never”.
2. Drag Me To Hell was really bad, but I just laughed through most of it. It was funny-bad to me.
3. HORRIBLE MOVIE!! I can’t even remember why I saw that movie. I saw it theaters no less smh. I don’t know if it’s the worst Ice Cube movie ever cause I haven’t seen Are We There Yet? and Are We Done Yet? Those two have to be in the running.
I loved Drag Me To Hell.
It was a Sam Raimi “horror” movie, so I went into it expecting it to be funny and full of gross-out moments, not scary. This was how I interpreted his Evil Dead series…so I wasn’t disappointed. All my friends who went expecting it to be scary were mad, lol. But if that doesn’t let you look at it through new eyes, maybe you just hated the plot, idk.
“It was a Sam Raimi “horror” movie, so I went into it expecting it to be funny and full of gross-out moments, not scary.”
See, I wish I would have known that BEFORE watching it, cause I was expecting to see a REAL horror movie, and I was seriously disappointed. It wouldn’t have been so bad if the plot made sense. I mean they went through ALL of that drama, and all she had to do was give the button to someone else in the first place! SMH.
One of the worst movies I’ve seen was “Leonard Part 6.” The funny thing is, I saw the first part of the movie when I was visiting family in ATL when I was about 8 or 9, and saw the rest when we visited them again a year or so later.
I nominate “Howard the Duck” and “Mannequin” to the craptastic Hall of Fame. I had no idea that there were four Mannequin movies until there was a marathon on TV. I also think it’s funny that Kim Catrall initially turned down “Sex and the City,” given she was in all 4 Mannequins
I’m with you on Howard the Duck. Seriously a duck and a human in a relationship and expect to have sex…come on people!
- A. D.
1) The Last airbender!!! Everything about that movie was wrong and its part of a trilogy!! This is about go from bad to worse (like the test scores of a low performing school as we reach the end of No Child Left behind)
2) Unfaithful with Richard Gere, Diana Lane, and some stupid french dude. A whole movie about an affair… Yawn. Oh and the ending would never ever ever happen in real life.watching the first 48 has assured me of this.
3) Sex and the city 2. The same ppl from the show and the first movie. It was literally 2.5hrs of deleted scenes, in my opinion, assembled to resemble some sort of a plot. I remember being blown for the entire time.
4) Belly.
3) Sex and the city 2
This was Carries & Big’s Why Did I Get Married Bullsh*t of a movie.
LOL mte
I refused to even go see Last Airbender. After 95% of the reviews I read said that it completely sucked, I said Hell No. I’ll watch it if one of my friends ever gets it bootleg.
SatC2 was AWFUL! Samantha was so incredibly crude it ruined the entire movie for me; not that the rest of it was really worth watching, either.
Sex and the city 2
YES.
I’m with you on number 2…at the end I was like WTF! I know dam well ya’ll found finger prints or something dispite Gere’s feeble attempt to wipe them away! Hell, and she needs to know how to cheat….puttin’ on sexy underware just to run errands…dam give away stupid! I was pissed for the rest of the afternoon.
- A.D.
VANILLA SKY?!
I liked that movie! I thought it was.. interesting.
I absolutely despise the coonfest that was Why Did I Get Married Too.
I haven’t been to the movies in a while. I did see Vanilla Sky,years ago. Like everybody else- I hated it (no suprise there). Someone mentioned District 9, haven’t seen it and won’t bother. “locally” produced movies always dissapoint. Majority of Rom-Coms need to fall under this banner as well.
*Applause* Vanilla Sky was the worst movie ever.
(Bad Santa was/is one of my faves though.)
Other suckies:
-Prison Song
-Scary Movie 2,3,4
-the The Blair Witch Project
-The Village
-Beauty Shop
The Village…ahhh I had suppressed that movie. Yes, now that was a movie that pissed me flip off. For those who haven’t seen it, I wont ruin it for you, but that movie, that plot, and those people…all go kill yourself!
Prison Song was depressing and when dude was talking about getting his back blown out because he spent his whole life in jail made me feel queasy. The ending was sad.
It was just tragedy and more tragedy. The whole movie was depressing. And yeah, his friend trying to kiss him…too much.
You mentioning The Village (a movie I didn’t see) reminded me of Lady in the Water, which is probably the worst “no one on the set has no effing idea where this movie is going” film evah.
the village pissed me off! so, basically, these heauxs are just tragically unaware of they damn surroundings? really!? go to hell.
You Got Served (Except for the dancing)
Before 1990; (“of the last 20 yrs”, people)
Xanadu(1980) (my gf made me watch it yrs ago…yeah…thats my excuse)
After 1990;
South Central (unintentionally funny)
Here’s my list:
1) The Gospel- Moneypenny still owes me for this crap. Boris, Stringer Bell. and Chauncy from Menace II Society make the wosrst black faith based movie ever. Btw the note that Tamara Frey missed in the funeral scene is still on the bulletin board at WalMart.
2. Black Spring Break- this would be number 1 but I did laugh at that Southboy charcter’s horrible acting.
3) The Wrestler- Simply depressing. Marisa Tormei’s surprisng MILFness could save this.
4) No Country For Old Men- Violence and a confusing ending.
5)Girl 6 – Spike wtf? Where you on PCP when you wrote this?
4) No Country For Old Men- Violence and a confusing ending.
I watched this after the Oscar’s so I was expecting a great movie, or dialogue or something. They were just killing folks & I had no idea why…I was looking for Beanie Siegal to jump in. At least that would have made more sense.
The only thing that I can confirm about this movie is that I’m afraid of Javier Bardem.
yeah, he was crazy
Yeah, Mr. Bardem played the role of Anton way too well.
But anyway, I enjoyed the movie. Was very entertained. Everyone only complained about the ending which doesn’t exactly ruin an entire movie for me…well, one part can ruin an entire movie (see Spidey 3), but I guess the ending didn’t have as much effect on me as a gelled-up Tobey Mcguire abruptly snapping his fingers all emo-suave.
“The only thing that I can confirm about this movie is that I’m afraid of Javier Bardem.”
Dude had a Dorothy Hamill haircut (glorified mushroom) and was steady dumpin’ on fools. It definitely meets the requirements of scary and gangsta…
*sends Wu a drank for a beautiful list of horrible flicks* This list is so true.
Most phones give you the option to lock them with a code and you have to enter a code before you can make a call (read: see the address book) , check a text message, a voice message, etc. Apparently nobody told you and Tiger Woods about this feature.
Gotta co-sign on Vanilla Sky. I wanted to get up out of the theater when I saw it. I didn’t think Transformers 2 was that bad, but I saw it on bootleg so that kinda changes things. I’ll have to come back later with my additions to the list.
I subjected myself to Alice in Wonderland 3D….. If it wasn’t 17.50 I wouldve walked out within 40 minutes (including previews).
I always wondered why Arthur and Snoopy acted so funny around each other. . . now I know.
My sim card has a password. So any phone it’s in requires entering the password when you startup. And my specific phone requires entering the passcode at the lockscreen to use it. But you can always defeat lockscreens, you can’t defeat sim locks.
Sim locks are defeatable…and I won’t say how I know this. LOL
What’s up with the transformers hate? Who goes in to see that movie with any expectations of following a story whatsoever. Only two groups see that movie: kids, and adults who grew up playing with them and want to see sh!t blow up. Now give me your face.
I thought Vanilla Sky was decent. Not as good as some of the other mid bending movies (Muholland Drive, Etenal Sunshine, Inception, etc) but definitely worth a watch. Even if it’s just to see Tom yell “tech suppoooooooorrrrrt”
I went into Transformers II expecting a decent giant robots fighting movie, what I got was an unwatchable mess that forced me to call off work because it made me sea sick for a week. Hail Megatron!
“What’s up with the transformers hate? Who goes in to see that movie with any expectations of following a story whatsoever. Only two groups see that movie: kids, and adults who grew up playing with them and want to see sh!t blow up. Now give me your face”
Exactly! Sans the minstrel robots, I was completely satisfied with what I wanted to see, and that sh*t blown to high heaven.
I haven’t seen Transformers 2 yet. It’s still waiting on my dvr. I liked the first one. I don’t think either movie will live up to the animated movie that came out in 1986. At least Transformers hasn’t been ruined the way G.I. Joe has. When you read the comic and see what comes out in movie form it’s mad disappointing. I can say they did get it right with G.I. Joe Resolute. That is how G.I. Joe is supposed to be.
I appreciate Transformers for what it is…it’s supposed to be kinda ‘fantastical’ for lack of a better term. The CG imagery in both movies is straight ridiculous. The 1986 movie was that ish, but keep in mind that we were kids then, so the very fact that there WAS a Transformers movie was amazing to us.
GI Joe was hella disappointing…so much potential, but ish was just off for some reason….
It’s exactly what dude said… when you read the comic books and have seen some of the better written Transformer TV series… you expect a lot from the live-action movie. The Dark Knight was an awesome movie… and it was based on a comic book series. I wanted Transformers to at least be as good as the 1989 Batman film.
I have a question. WTF was with the entire second act of “The Box”?! I hate when movies swerve off the road all suddenly for absolutely no coherent reason.
those movies were ok. None of them had me running for the door. Now this movie I saw last night, The American, that sucked. Vampires Suck …sucked. The Last Airbender ended oddly.
The American: Really? I was wondering about that, because the trailer is terrible. It’s just Clooney shooting people. I’m not intrigued in the least, and I wanted to be. And Clooney with a tattoo on his back doing pull-ups just doesn’t gel at all, LOL.
^…a butterfly tattoo at that! Like, really? “Cape Fear” Robert Dinero reference FAIL!
iDied after reading the Matrix commentary. I must say, I agree with all of it. I can’t think of any movies to add, probably because it’s too early for me to think. I’ve hired someone to type this for me. Wait, what? I’m going back to bed.
Whenever films that movie critics panned, I always end up enjoying. It’s almost like eating at Red Lobster’s: you know the food is slowly clogging up your arteries and your doctor would surely disapproved, but you cannot help it.
In my opinion, the worst films are the straight-to-DVD joints that are “produced” by rappers/record labels. They’re pretty much like one of those sh*tty “street novels” (with grammatical errors and all) that was greenlighted into being turned into a movie.
Red Lobster’s biscuits are magic. That is all.
YES!!! Cant we just order those for the meal?
@SFG
I have an aunt who knows how to make those biscuits!
She’s the one of those relatives who knows how to make those “fork scraping plate-fingertip licking-seconds & third helpings” meals. Of course, her cooking skills is hated on by the non-cooking relatives.
Yeah, them biscuits were made by God right after light.
The Cheddar Biscuits have a Facebook account. I was intrigued, pleased, and dismayed all at once. I had to keep it real and “like Cheddar Biscuits” *thumbs up*
Yup…I joined it several months ago. Like…I had to. Duh.
Champ,
I was in complete agreement with you on your post. However, I wanted to clarify, an inaccurate statement you made. The cell phone password plot was right on point. Cell Phones do have passwords, I have them set on both my blackberry and Iphone and if you so happen to enter the wrong password 10 times, then it erases all the information on the phones. Before people start talking about passwords aren’t necessary. I carry a lot of confidential information on my phones, so yes they are password protected. Plus I have seen that plot happen in real like, and have sadly been apart of it at least once.
Never seen Vanilla Sky. Heard enough after it came out to know it would be a waste of my time.
I knew better than to see Why Did I Get Married Too after watching How Did I Get Married. Might watch it if I can make a drinking game for it.
Matrix Revolutions was a disappointment as a conclusion to the series. I didn’t think Reloaded was horrible, but the first Matrix was vastly superior to the other two and, like you said, tried too hard. Regardless, I still own all three and watch them mainly for the fight scenes.
Transformers 2? Business as usual for Michael Bay. “So go ahead and have Optimus flying through the air while the Eiffel Tower explodes behind him. And can we get a shot of Sam crying about Bumblebee or something? Megan, make sure to say your lines with the acting prowess of my beagle. WHERE THE F*** ARE MY EXPLOSIONS?!?!”
Terminator Salvation was pretty bad too. I love the Terminator series (Terminator 2 is one of my favorite movies of all-time) and to hear that they were making a movie during the War got me really excited. My friends hate me to this day for dragging them to see that movie. The dialogue was so robotic (see what I did there?) and Christian Bale thought he was still filming a Batman movie cause he was doing that “I-can’t-breathe-out-of-my-nose-and-I’ve-been-smoking-all-my-life” voice. And this is another movie that Common was uselessly cast in.
I miss the Sarah Connor Chronicles. (Why does Fox hate tv?)
T3 and Terminator Salvation did suck. I kept waiting on Michael Caine to show up and give John Connor some tea or something. The cute Asian chicks teeth were too white considering the world as we know it ended. I won’t talk about the heart surgery in the back of the dirty Huey helicopter.
(Why does Fox hate tv?)
They sure do! I still hate them for canceling Arrested Development. B*stards.
YES! Canceling AD might have been the biggest fail in television history. Granted, the show didn’t have good ratings when it was on television. But the following it gained AFTER it was canceled was amazing.
“Illusion, Michael. A trick is something a whore does for money.”
“Illusion, Michael. A trick is something a whore does for money”
Ok, this officially started my holiday week-end right.
Never saw TSCC, but I heard good things about it.
LOL @ waiting for Michael Caine.
I love Bad Santa! I always kick-off the holiday season by watching it and that Nat’l Lampoon Xmas Vacation. And yes, I’m truly cynical that way but it does get me in the mood for all the BS that comes between T-giving and New Years. I’m decidedly low-brow in this respect and wouldn’t have it any other way.
And yes, I’m another one with a password on my phone. My 3 yr old can do far too much on my phone for me to leave it any other way.
Inception was totally NOT a bad movie. And Brown Sugar is one of my favorite movies. And I enjoy The Best Man also. They don’t fit this list.
Vanilla Sky… ugh. I’ve watched it at least twice and still can’t really understand it. In fact, everytime I try to rewatch and get to the end, I realize that I’ve known the end of the movie the whole time, but still couldn’t remember how the hell we were going to get there. Not a good sign.
I can’t stand the straight-to-DVD movies. They are usually really, really bad. Scary movies as well… they are usually hyped up and then turn out to be really, really bad. (But then again, I guess that’s my fault for expecting to be scared.) Cue: Paranormal Activity. Creepy, but waste of my time. Those are hours of my life I’ll never have back. The Strangers. (you know, that one with Liv Tyler when they get killed by the people in funny masks because the dumb b!tch answers the door at 4 in the morning to ask the killer girl why she’s standing on her lawn? yeah, that one.)
Mmmmm…. Tyler Perry… Tyler Perry. I just don’t know what to say about him. I think I actually go the movies partly because it’s fun (you know, when you go with the fam or friends), but because I actually hold out hope that maybe, just maybe the storyline will be good… I liked The Family That Preys, and though the movie got a bit unrealistic at times, I still thought it was a much better effort than some of the others… and then I saw Why Did I Get Married Too… was I the only person who squirmed awkwardly during all of the scenes with Cicely Tyson and Louis Gosset Jr. acting like senile islanders? SMH.
I tried to like it Tyler, I really tried.
The only reason why I like watching Tyler Perry movies, because his movies are the only ones that I can tolerate when I am forced to watch it because some of my elderly relatives wants to watch television also. And it would be wrong on my behalf to tell my great-aunt to get the f*ck out of the room, so I can watch “Saw”.
It is either watching “Why Did I get Married?” or another mind-numbing episode of “The 700 Club”.
It’s “The Family that Preys” or “Billy Graham Presents…”
“Diary of An Angry Black Woman” or a gospel music concert DVD
“I can Do Bad By Myself” or “Bobby Jones Gospel…”
Some of the worst movies I’ve seen in the last 20 years.
Hot Boys – Silk the Shocker as the star? Nuff said.
I Got The Hook-Up – Another terrible Master P movie
(Actually I want to put every Master P movie on this list but I haven’t seen everyone)
Side Note: What is it with Master P movies, rap videos, and other hood movies and their fascination with the rough, tough, insane killer, gangsta dude courting or in a relationship with the innocent, college educated, light-skinned chic?
Independence Day – Everyone loves this movie. It sucked to me.
Matrix Revolutions and Reloaded – WTF happened? The movie became mad campy and cartoonish after the first one. That ish killed the metaphysical theme of the movie.
Fast and the Furious Tokyo Drift
2 Fast 2 Furious
Turn It Up – Pras and Ja Rule are the stars. Nuff said.
They shot Fast and Furious in Miami and I actually met Paul Walker. He’s fine! He was super nice and was flirting us. Tyrese was rude. All of the movies were terrible but peeps in Miami love racing movies.
“…Tyrese was rude…”
Why does that not suprise me? I remember watching an episode of “College Hill” on BET and he was performing at an event, where the cast was working. He was mean-mugging the whole time.
“…They shot Fast and Furious in Miami and I actually met Paul Walker. He’s fine! He was super nice and was flirting us…”
That also doesn’t suprise me. I had seen “Takers” last week and there’s this scene with him in a pool and I am not going to say anymore. In my opinion, I think Paul is one of those jungle-fever afflicted people, but he is an undercover one (unlike Robin Thicke and Robert DeNiro). He is like one of those victims in a zombie flick that hides his wounds from the other survivors.
LMAO Yeah girl. Tyrese was acting like he had something better to do. Like you are filming a movie that will make you millions..be happy! I used to love me some Tyrese but I can say he aint all that in person. Paul Walker made me a fan. He was flirting with me and my friend. Although we’re not the blackest things around, he still earned points in the black love meter. He was funny, cracking jokes about my friend’s lip gloss saying she looked “moist”…cute guy.
What happened with the Matrix sequels is a black woman wrote the first one, screenplay and the W brothers stole her idea LOL..the first one CLASSIC, a game changer, such a brilliant film!!!!
The W bros redeemed themselves somewhat with V for Vendetta, LOVE that joint!
Co-signing on the love of V For Vendetta and for the graphic novel!
Co-sign too, absolutely love that movie!
The Fountain is probably the worst film I entered into with expectations only to see it flop miserably.
Belly: I still have no idea what that movie is about.
Mission Impossible I: I watched it once years ago, and remember it being terrible.
The Incredible Hulk(Directed By Ang Lee)
M.Night Shamalan’s whole entire oeuvre including The Sixth Sense.
Pay It Forward
K-Pax
c/s Belly and the Hulk
Pay it Forward was good!! LOL
I know. Pay it Forward is a darling arse movie. Dash is the debbil.
PAY IT FORWARD??!! I LOVE that movie!
At the end of “Pay It Forward”, I indeed tear up, even though I thought the end was hokey.
Yeah, the Ang Lee Hulk movies horrible. Changing his origin from not being hit by a gamma bomb was the first mistake.
^Yup! Three words: Gamma Ray Poodles
It made me giggle at disturbing ‘ish (which I do sometimes anyway, but…)
Co-sign 100% on The Fountain… Such brilliant actors, such premises, *whoosah*… I’m still fuming.
I went to see it with my homeboy and we were laughing while people where crying… and throwing us dirty looks. It was truly a WTF kinda moment.
Re: Vanilla Sky
“There are plagues with more positive attributes than Vanilla Sky. There are albino cockroaches with more redeeming qualities. Calling it a sh*tty movie would be an insult to turds everywhere. An aarkvark rapes a puppy every time this movie is watched.”
This is good stuff right here…they should give you an award for best comedy blog or something.
I was trying to explain why WDIGM2 was horrible to my best friend last night but she just didn’t get it. Thank you, Champ, for communicating what I couldn’t get across. I sent her the link to the post so hopefully she’ll see what I was trying to say.
I’m not a huge TP fan and I figured the $1.08 that I spent at Redbox wouldn’t be too much for WDIGM2. WRONG. It sucked monkey balls, but I might have been predispositioned to hate it because
in the early scenes that:
-The dialogue between TP and Sharon Leal’s children was ridiculously wooden.
-Janet Jackson’s and Sharon Leal’s characters wardrobe changes inexplicably.
-Sheriff Troy and Jill Scott’s “this is beautiful/we needed this vacation” conversation was shot so foolishly that viewers were watchign the backs of their heads for about five minutes
Anywho, I too have a password on my cellphone but this self-important bastard happens to be related to some nosey mo-fo’s and I’d rather they not have access to my phone.
How can you possibly have a worst movie post without mentioning “Beloved”. To this day, I still mourn the loss of the 172 minutes of my life that I lost in 1998 while watching this movie. They should have paid me to watch that crap.
Why Did I Get Married was good and the sequel was even better, IMO.
Other worst movies ever: Anything by Spike Lee other than Malcolm X and School Daze.
Jungle Fever was good!
Beloved made me feel awkward. I kept looking around wondering if the white people were judging black people. I felt like it was setting our people back. lol I also feel you on Spike Lee movies. I may lose my black card for this but I don’t like some of his films.
@SFG
Well, SFG, you are about to have some company, because my black card is going to be revoked too.
I hate that movie “School Daze” with a passion. I was seven years-old, when I had seen that movie for the first time. Even though I was seven, I thought that jiggaboo musical number was f*cked up! The only scene that I love from that movie was when E.U. was performing “Da Butt”.
::sitting in the Detainment Room of The Black Brotherhood & Sisterhood Council’s headquarters. Checking out the burly, armed guards at the door. Sitting next to SFG. Notices the vending machine in a corner of the room. Prods SFG with elbow::
Going to the vending machine, wants a bag of Cheetos?
…and Doritos and a Dr. Pepper please. But this: “had seen”
earned you your black card back…just temporary status. lol
“Other worst movies ever: Anything by Spike Lee other than Malcolm X and School Daze.”
^I liked “Inside Man”.
Did anyone say “Seven Pounds”? I’m still pissed at the fact that I will not got that 1 hour and 58 minutes of my life back. Ninjas was talking about it “It rivals Dark Knight”
FOH! That sh!t was painful to watch!!!
Vanilla Sky is pretty terrible. D@mn Kanye West. He’s the reason I bought the DVD to figure out what he was talking about “…look like Tom Cruise from Vanilla Sky, it was televised”
Oh, and I’d lke to throw “The Backup Plan” with J. Lo on the list. Waste of money and time.
Will SMiths movies are BORING AS HE!! with elements of wackness!
He needs to get out of his comfort zone, most of his movies suck azz, shame cause he is talented but he plays it too safe and is not evolving as an actor/artist.
LOL!!!! Will needs to get it together
I would love to see Will Smith star in a movie, where he plays a villian and I am talking about a pure “cold-hearted” villian.
But I did enjoy “I Am Legend”. I even cried at the scene where he killed the d*mn dog.
Girl, me too when he killed the dog. I wanted to kick that chics butt leaving their scents detected. I heard that Will suppose to be in a movie about vampires like a Blade type of film.
- A.D.
Ugh! Seven Pounds!
Another movie I wanted to love and it let me down. This guy I was seeing said ” it’s really deep and beautiful” FALSE.
It was not as good as it wanted to be.
Still got love for Will though.
I’m not for corporal punishment, but whoever said Seven Pounds was in the same stratosphere as The Dark Knight needs to be waterboarded in gravy.
@ KayBeezy and B.Brown
I promise you people said the film was gonna change my life *dry face*
I can’t…especially w/ that d@mn @ss jelly fish o_O
I was really mad w/ my friends for making me watch that sh!t
i thoroughly enjoyed Seven Pounds. i dont think i can think of one thing that i disliked about this movie. epic? no. but good plot development and character development.
The thing about cell phones and passwords is you have to come into the relationship with a password on your phone…you just can’t slap one up there in the middle when you ‘need’ it.
Co-sign on Vanilla Sky. I don’t get it.
Deadgirl–it’s about, well, a dead (zombie like) girl. I watched it the other night and now I’m on time out from choosing flicks for the next few months. I choose my own switch before someone could tell me that.
oh, and GI Joe. horrible, just horrible.
I watched five minutes of G.I. Joe then promptly went to my dvd player, opened it, and sealed the disc in the Netflix envelope.
I PAID to see it in the theater. I knew it was bad when I looked over at my friend, who normally likes the dumbest crap, was slumped in his seat with his hands over his eyes and shaking his head.
For real! I felt like Channing Tatum could have had a cardboard cutout of Channing Tatum stand in for him and it would not have made a difference. What was it about his breakdancing in Step Up that made people think he could carry a “major blockbuster” film? I mean really…when Marlon Wayans out-acts you…maybe it’s time to reevaluate your dreams and career.
I’ve still got 2nd-hand embarrassment that Joseph Gordon-Levitt was involved in the thing. He does too apparently. The Inception cast was talking about dreams/nightmares they had and he said (jokingly I’m sure) that he’d had one where he was on 3rd Rock from the Sun for 10 or 15 years and the only movie he’d ever done was GI Joe.
The Happening made me want to hurt myself too.
All of these Step Up the Streets dance movies. Like since when does male dancing have street cred? I remember B boys used to battle at my school but these movies kill me with the over drama. Has a dancer ever been shot while in a train station because of his dance moves? Hmmm
Blair Witch Project – 90 mins of my life that I will never get back.
The Wash. I support ALL black films but some of them are just corny and makes me ashamed for some reason…fail.
Obsession. Apart from the fact that Beyonce had the whole theater laughing with her fake trying to be tough routine and wig that made my left eye twitch. Idris Elba was unbelievable as a black corporate man turning down white putang…not neva.
“Idris Elba was unbelievable as a black corporate man turning down white putang…not neva.”
and im dead.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAAA…..
Guuurrrlll you know. I aint tryin sound indignant but I been in da corporate scene a min and I aint neva seen dat. Dees black execs love dem sum pretty white pootang, even if its on da side.
YEW TUHCHED MAH CHAHLD?
SHE WUZ EEN YO HO-TAYL ROOM?
Yeah…that was all I needed to see in the previews to cement that Beyonce was never gonna get my money that way.
I don’t understand the movie choices Idris Elba makes sometimes.
“YEW TUHCHED MAH CHAHLD?
SHE WUZ EEN YO HO-TAYL ROOM?”
I love you.
I’m crying tears over your Beyonce impersonation! Made my effin day girl you’re hilarious!!
“…The Happening made me want to hurt myself too…”
NEVER watch this film while: a) drunk off of alcohol b)high off any substance, especially weed c)both.
I had watch this film with a couple of friends while high off of some skunk and a couple of bottles of Corona. Before I even watched the film, I knew I shouldn’t watch any television because I become a paranoid bastard, when I’m high. After watching that film, I had place every plant in my house inside of my bathtub and closed the bathroom door.
“…All of these Step Up the Streets dance movies…”
With the exception of “How She Move”, I like to call these types of movies “See…The White Folks CAN Dance” films. If you think about all of those films (starting from the 1980′s), all of those films involve white folks who have some “riddim”.
Okay, I am going to stop e-stalking you now. LOL!
LOL That aint estalking. That just means we are >>>here<<< lol I am dying laughing at you putting your plants in the bathroom and locking the door. That's like me closing my closet doors and putting on a night light after scary movies…actually I sleep with a night light every night. I got issues. lol
@SFG
“…Obsession…”
This movie is another prime example of why I cringe inwardly, whenever I hear people correlate the word “actress” with Beyonce Knowles. Some of her stans will try to defend her acting skills by mentioning her role in “Caddillac Records” and I still say her acting skills suck more nuts than a gay p*rno. What? She is a “good actress” in that movie because she she says “f*ck” a lot and makes out with skinny a$$ Adrien Brody?
“…All of these Step Up the Streets dance movies…”
I like to file these under the category of “See…white people Do have rhythm”. Staring with Kevin Bacon in “Footloose” and now with Channing Tatum.
LOL! She channeled her inner crackhead maybe? I don’t know but she needs some english classes first to be an actress.
“All of these Step Up the Streets dance movies. Like since when does male dancing have street cred? I remember B boys used to battle at my school but these movies kill me with the over drama. Has a dancer ever been shot while in a train station because of his dance moves? Hmmm”
^Yes. I am over the “Step Up”, “Honey”, “You Got Served”, Julia Stiles always with a black dude flicks that try to single handedly prove 2520′S can dance. Every street/urban/hip hop dance movie that stars white folks and anyone of color is an extra or in the peripheral… EPIC FAIL!
Strongly Recommends: The Freshest Kids and Planet B-Boy if you got a hankering…
Planet B Boy!! It’s like we’re esisters. smh Honey made me want to stop drinking Fanta for life. lol
“It’s like we’re esisters.”
^….but we IS doe’ (ignent on purpose) *Doing Hand Clap Game from “The Color Purple”*
*patty-cake game…..I couldn’t think of that for the life of me earlier…
#DEAD! lol
It’s Makidada.
#thankmelaterdrake
Cell phones DEW have passwords. Screen locked? Then you might need a password to open it. #justsayin
Black Snake Moan.
A Time to Kill.
I’ve got something against Samuel L. Jackson sweating through movies while affecting a very poor southern accent.
yes they deserved to die..and i hope they burn in hay-el!!
what!?!? how could you NOT love it for that line alone???
lol.
@Keisha Brown
“how could you NOT love it for that line alone???”
I agree
@Cnotes..
your avi is hot! no homo. LOL.
that is all.
double cosign
Touche! I love that line…and quote it frequently. Even got my mama running around talking about “I hope they burn in hey-el!” LOL!
What’s funny is my movie tastes are excellent… I have no interest in WACK a$$ stories, premises, so that saves me time and potentially money.
I think that last movie I thought was gonna be great was “The Sound of Thunder”, premise was vicious, execution sucked.
Execution is key, or you will phcuk up a perfectly good premise!
I’m waiting for the day Michael Bay and Tyler Perry do a movie together. Tasha Smith! Megan Fox! Gospel choirs! Exploding gospel choirs!
LOL!!!!!
Why do I want to see this?? lol
LMAOOO @ exploding gospel choirs!
the exclamation marks made this comment extra funny.
This movie would be so bad that it would prompt Jesus to return.
“I’ve been patient haven’t I? I let two world wars, rampart racism, disco, American Idol, systematic poverty, and Antoine Dodson slide, but you let Madea fight Megatron? In Atlanta?” *File under what Jesus maybe thinking before returning.*
you can’t write things like this…I get looks at work from literally laughing out loud
“I’ve been patient haven’t I? I let two world wars, rampart racism, disco, American Idol, systematic poverty, and Antoine Dodson slide, but you let Madea fight Megatron? In Atlanta?” *File under what Jesus maybe thinking before returning.*
This should have been an episode of “The Boondocks”
This gets my vote as THE funniest comment of the day.
im.
so.
far.
gone.
drizzy.
*cue me reading it again and LITERALLY laughing out loud.
*giggling at work*
You should be banned from VSB…
Bwahahahaha! I’m crying…
lmao @ this whole thread
“exploding gospel choirs”
I’m kilt Wu, kilt…LMAO
1) Almost every movie based on the book by Stephen King (with the distinct exception of the original Carrie, Shawshank Redemption, Stand By Me, Misery and Pet Semetary) The movies try to get too literal with some of his characters and their psychosis or behaviors which takes away from the real horror of the story.
2) Blair Witch- No explanation needed
3) Unbreakable- I think somebody said this but it stands repeating. This movie is total garbage! I remember my theater being packed and ppl being excited about seeing it…and then the popcorn started flying at the screen and people got up and left.
4) Eyes Wide Shut – Another one where the plot line is missing. I think there was a part in the movie where there was no dialogue at all…just this stupid ass baroque background music.
cosign Unbreakable which is unfortunate b/c it was the follow up to The Sixth Sense which was awesome (saw it in the theater at least 5 times) and the last M. Night Shamalamahan (whatever) movie that I saw and/or enjoyed.
my sis went to see the last airbender and she said that was horrible. I told her not to do it. I watch the cartoon and refuse to pollute my mind with any trash that guy makes.
Um. Misery is effing awesome. Dirdy Birdy.
i looooooove misery. “he didn’t get out of the cockadoodie car!” lol
but i didn’t find out til recently that it’s supposed to be a horror film. i always thought it was comedy, because that heaux is crazy and she makes me laugh.
Right! Come on, Joe…
Misery is the bees knees…like while the bee is praying. That movie is dopeness.
okay, now. i was witchu on everything else, but i don’t what the hell misery is doin on this list. oh, and carrie is too! *defriends phidelity15*
they’re all going to laugh at you.
YES…I didn’t even notice Carrie was on there. They’re all gonna laugh at you is probably in my top 5 quotables. That voice!
My sister has a hilarious story about that movie where our mama and my daddy (we have different dads), took her to see the film but didn’t tell her what it was about. Now, those who saw the movie know that a huge chunk of the film is just reglah ish where you wouldn’t know it was a horror flick. Once it got to the scary part, tho?! Chick was traumatized. I cackled for days when she told me that. My parents evil. Like, that was super bogus. I loves it.
LOL, oh, wait…I just realized you listed these movies as exceptions. I’m on my Kanye Fantasia ish today, Phidelity. My sorries.
see I got cut for no dayum reason…I LOVE Misery. Kathy Bates was perfectly crazy. Now all the movies on my EXCEPTION list are great compared to say…The Dark Half or TommyKnockers and It (which I read in the 6th grade and was scared to put the book down or go to sleep because of)
I accept apologies in the form of $$ or e-hugs
@Phidelity15,
*recession e-hug*
i didn’t notice that either! eff my reading comprehension skills.
*sends phidelity15 a friend request like nothing ever happened*
I’m dying laughing right now cuz my mother did the same ish to me but only with The Exorcist. It was on cable and she calls me into her room to watch a “good movie” and then things start moving, she’s throwing up and all that mess. My mother is sadistic (proof, she loves the Damien movies) and I’m glad for that info button now.
I liked Dreamcatcher (Stephen King). Duddits saves the world! LMAO!
Soooooo Morgan Freeman and his eyebrows (they are a complete and separate entity from Morgan himself) was not a distraction?? I think of alllll the movies they did of his this has to be the absolute worst.
Pretty good list Champ. Watched “Watched Why Did I Get Married Too?” with my wife a few nights ago and just wanted to go to sleep after the opening credits.
You should add every movie ever made by M. Night Shyamalan.
The Matrix Revolutions really pissed me off with its wierd wack ass ending.
So here’s the funny thing: I actually have two (Matrix, Transformers) on DVD and will likely buy WDIGM2 (I have the first one). I’ll say that WDIGM2 is an investment, though: $15-20 for the DVD versus the cost of marriage. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
(Note: VSBs, watch the movie with your SOs. If they root for the women like it’s Game 7 of the NBA Finals, run. Fast. If the DVD is yours, let them keep it).
I actually like a lot of the movies a lot of people listed, either because I find comedy in terrible acting (low-budget rapper movies, usually of the No Limit variety) or I like comic book/action films.
Now for my 5 worst ever…
5. Soul Plane – The only reason this is #5 is because I’ve had the good sense to not see it. If I had, I’m sure it’d be #2.
4. The Skulls – I expected so much more from this. The end of the movie was terrible. The only reason it’s not higher is that I stayed awake through the entire movie.
3. Superman Returns – This will tell you everything you need to know about this particular relationship: my then-girlfriend had this idea to get tickets as a birthday present for me…because her brother is a Superman fan. I also slept through half of it.
2. Nacho Libre – I don’t know how my ex got me to see this. I do know how I slept through half the movie. Never have liked Jack Black, so I saw the fail from the beginning. What you won’t do…do for love…
1. Stealing Home – This will always be the worst movie ever to me. Childhood memories stick.
Wow, y’all are some pretentious ass kneegrows. True story, in real life.
@Champ
Vanilla Sky, wasn’t the best movie, but it was not nearly as bad as many people are making it out to be. The acting isn’t bad, and I haven’t seen Abre Les Ojos, but I’m assuming that it’s even better, and that makes me want to see it even more. The movie is supposed to be disjointing (which is probably why you didn’t like the plot), that is in fact one of the points of the movie. I bet if the majority of critics had praised it as a masterpiece, many of you would change your tune. Everything else I agree with including “fisher-price plot twists” (really though? fisher-price? Like 6 year-olds write play scripts. Lol.).
@Everyone else:
Drag Me to Hell wasn’t supposed to be scary, it’s from the Sam Raimi, it’s supposed to be cheesy.
A.I. was a good movie, Stan Kubrick tried to treat mankind’s relationship with motherly love like he tried to treat mankind’s relationship with technology in 2001. You can’t blame him because he died before he finished and Stephen Spielberg said ALIENS.
I liked Unbreakable, as an actual comic book reading guy, I liked the serious treatment of comics in the movie.
No Country For Old Men was quite dope. I’ve heard analysis that basically the movie is a study of violence. I enjoyed it and its brooding atmosphere.
Someone said the Fountain, automatic fail. Pick up your test and turn it in. It’s a complicated movie, pay attention.
Black Snake Moan, I can kind of see, I enjoyed it for its completely (and intentionally) brash treatment of particularly sensitive subject matter, but I can see how someone wouldn’t like it. A Time to Kill was a good movie.
Total co-sign on the first statement. That thought came up so much as I was reading much of the commentary. I just wanted to say “it’s okay to turn off the ‘deep’ button when going to the movies, especially if we’re talking mainstream films”.
interesting observations : NomadaNare & BBrown
but everything (kinda like beauty) is in the eye of the watcher.
its about my personal tastes – this is an opinion piece and commenters are voicing their opinion.
i go to a movie to be entertained. (are you NOT entertained???)
but there are movies that have the complete opposite effect when the:
a) acting sucks
b) plots sucks
c) camera work sucks (my neph is an editor..he watches these kinds of things)
similar to the unfunny movie post, what is funny to 1, isn’t to another. i dont think that makes us pretentious. in real or in e-life.
ps: unless you know us all in real life, kinda think there needs to be a strikethrough that part of the comment. unless it was meant to be funny….
that is all. carry on.
I thought the “true story, in real life” part gave it away as meaning to be funny. I do think some of the comments had an air to them, but that certainly wouldn’t be (and wasn’t intended to be) a reason to dismiss anyone as people. Even if people are pretentious, it doesn’t have anything to do with the price of tea in China so there’s no reason for me to even worry about it like that.
FTR, I also don’t really think people who compare Seven Pounds to The Dark Knight should be waterboarded with gravy. Applesauce, perhaps. Cinnamon, by Mott’s.
Applesauce, perhaps. Cinnamon, by Mott’s.
I am kilt!
Was half-joking with some things (the pretentious comment, use of the term kneegrow should’ve been the giveaway) but the opinions on the movies were how I really felt about those particular films.
Whoever said No Country for Old Men was bad is trippin’.
“Wow, y’all are some pretentious ass kneegrows. True story, in real life.”
Your analysis of every movie that followed up this quote could be seen as pretty pretentious, though. Which made me chuckle.
I love this place.
“Because I need to see everything that is Tyler Perry foolery, I plan on watching Why Did I Get Married Too, soon.”
Forgive me for taking your opinions on pretense with a grain of salt.
It’s not a bad place to be.
“Forgive me for taking your opinions on pretense with a grain of salt.”
No need.
I recommend taking my opinions with a grain of salt. Lower blood pressure that way.
I heart your opinions Cheeks. That is all.
Someone said the Fountain, automatic fail. Pick up your test and turn it in. It’s a complicated movie, pay attention.
And we are the pretentious kneegrows? *smirk*
Yes, for a couple of reasons, first off being that you assume that because a couple of movies don’t spoon feed the plot to you that they’re bad. Not only did you admit that you didn’t understand it (or Vanilla Sky), but Aronofsky has never made a bad film. I reiterate, pay attention, anyone I know that actually studies film, likes the movie, and thinks Aronofsky is a cinematic visionary. Most visual artists I know really enjoy the movie (these two points don’t necessarily mean you should like it but it obviously has some merit). Basically, just because you didn’t like it doesn’t mean it was bad, it means you didn’t like it, and to call a movie with some merit bad because you didn’t like it is pretty pretentious.
Wow, y’all are some pretentious ass kneegrows
And I present to you Exhibit A.
The only Movie I like on the list is Bad(der) Santa. I find it to be hilarious. It is funnier to me than ‘Anchorman’ and ‘The Hangover’.
Bad Santa was pretty hilarious. Don’t know what you mean on that one. Transformers 2 was bad but not worst in the last 20 years. Other than that cool…
I think Holiday Heart with Ving Rhames should be in this list. Maybe I’m not qualified to answer because I thought State Property 2 was dope.
I liked State Property 2 as well. Yet, I already knew what it was and wasn’t necessarily expecting cinematic genius.
Transformers was a bad movie in the traditional sense, but keep it mind it’s roots lie in a cartoon about giant robots that blow shit up. While the premise seems cool, I don’t think there’s a way you can really translate that to the big screen and it NOT be corny.
And yes, I loved the cartoon as a kid. Moving on:
-Night of Living Dead. It’s a safe bet that any video game that gets made into a movie is automatically bad but this one is especially bad.
I dont remember much in the way of a plot (except zombies are running around tearing ‘ish up), but I DO remember that the protagonists spending the better part of an hour running from said zombies….only to suddenly turn around and decide to fight back (for no apparent reason).
Inexplicably, one of them suddenly learns karate, and (seriously) begins to kick & punch her way through hordes of previously super-strong zombies. On top of that, the zombies make-up jobs were just downright horrible.
I remember seeing one that had on an Adidas track suit and a gold chain. Needless to sat my face was stuck on “WTF!!!?!?” for the entirety of the movie.
-’Notorious’ was top to bottom trash. Gravy does an ok job in the role of Big. Though, I think he got the role moreso because for one, he’s only human being on this planet that even begins to resemble Biggie (well, him and Guerilla Black), and two, he’s from Brooklyn.
The guy that played Tupac was even worse. He was so over the top it was ridiculous. That and he looks about 40 (Pac died at 25).
The only actor in the movie that I can give some kind of credit to is Derek Luke, who did a hilarious impression of P. Diddy.
-GI Joe. Again, trash. Any movie that casts Marlon Wayans as an action hero is an automatic fail. And the guy that played Duke couldn’t act his way out of wet paper bag. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t have high hopes for this to begin with, but it was way worse than I could’ve ever imagined.
Other (un)mentionables:
-Any movie with Nick Cannon in it.
-Paranormal activity (but the last two minutes was cool).
-Alvin and The Chipmunks. I watched this with my little sister and spent the whole time thinking about how best to simultaneously remove my sense of vision and hearing (at the same time).
-Catwoman. Think anything that involves Halle Berry in latex is a win?
Think again.
……that’s all I got.
Any movie with Nick Cannon in it
I liked Underclassman
“…’Notorious’ was top to bottom trash…”
THANK YOU for saying this!
In my opinion, I didn’t think Biggie need a movie (yet).
*Stands ups and claps*
Thank you Champ because this needed to be said about Vanilla Sky!!!!!! I have been saying that this is the worse and most confusing movie I have ever seen! Lucid dream my azz!
I actually bought this movie used and returned it for something else after I watched it back in college…it was THAT bad!
G.I. Joe should def be on the extended version of this list
I would also like to add Swimfan to this list. The only thing I remember about the movie was my best friend thinking there was a cereal commercial in the middle of the movie. It was just awful from beginning to end.
Muriel’s Wedding. I watched it because apparently that’s where the story line from Mama Mia (also an awful movie) the musical came from which rocks. The movie however was the worst portrayal of low self esteem ever. This butt ugly chic decides to marry a swimmer so that he can be a citizen of Austrailia and compete in the olympics but she’s so ugly even HE doesn’t wanna go through with the wedding. And in the end she cries and is all alone…. blink blink
Oh and just about everything Vince Vaughn is in but especially the break-up! HATED IT!!!!
the WORST movie in the history of cinema is “The Autobiography of Miss Jane Pittman”
I will NEVER forgive Mrs. Warren ( my 8th grade english teacher) for making me watch this trash in my last week of middle school.
if you’re out there Mrs. Warren, damn you!!!!
*gasp!* Girl, how can you hate on Jane Pittman! Classic! The book was good too…
Jane Pittman is Classic! LOL
please, please please, spare my soul.
i LOATHED this movie. i just hated it! the book was fine. but thats where it ends.
I just want to say Thank you, The Champ. Thank you for acknowledging the horror that was Vanilla Sky… Oh my eff’n God was I pissed off after watching that trash!!! Especially since I apparently have smug hipsters as friends who actually try to explain Vanilla Sky to me. NO, NO, NO. This movie was pointless and should be banned from IMDB. Ugh.
The only other movie that makes my blood boil as hot as Vanilla Sky is The mother effin’ Fountain. What? Who? Whyyyyyyyyy? Please people do not waste your time watching that joke of a movie unless you are majoring in Film Making and want to know what NOT to do…
The other movies on the list…I haven’t even bothered watching them (except Bad Santa… and yes it was bad). Why did I get married too looked like a disaster and tsunami ready to happen. No thanks.
Oh yes the Fountain made me want to claw my eyes out and run for the hills. #fail.
I hate myself for admitting this.
In fact, I should kick my own a$$ for admitting this to anyone.
WORST MOVIES… ::sigh in disgust::
::mumbles quickly:: anymoviethatstarredvindiesel…
::take out a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue Label from out of my work desk’s drawer::
Well I loved The Fast & The Furious, but I will say…XXX sucked elephant testes…
I don’t know if you haven’t noticed, but “The Fast & The Furious” and with “Pitch Black”, he was in the supporting actor role.
I stopped supporting Vin Diesel once he denounced his Black heritage. Same way I stopped supporting Usher for not wanting to acknowledge he was haitian. Then he announced it so I bought his last album. Princibalities!
::prying the glass of Johnny Walker away from my lips::
“…I stopped supporting Vin Diesel once he denounced his Black heritage…”
I remember when he was starting out in the business and in every interview that he scored, it was mention that he was from Italian-American/Black American descent. Then, after “The Fast & The Furious” had came out (and he was becoming famous), I would hear stuff like ‘no, Vin is from dominican, italian and french descent…’ GTFOH with that mess…
::resume drinking while listening to James Brown’s “Papa Don’t Take No Mess”::
Nuh-uh! I loved “Chronicles of Riddick”….with them creepy arse “you keep what you kill” necromongers….Sci-Fi for the win!
LMAO!!! You don’t watch Vin to marvel at his acting ability, you watch it for that voice and the body.
You kinda know what you’re getting into beforehand.
At least I do.
“…You don’t watch Vin to marvel at his acting ability, you watch it for that voice and the body…”
Yeah, well, now that ninja is acting like he is an accomplished actor, so he is covering his self up.
You should be totally proud to admit that, I can’t watch anything that idiot does. He’s VILE…
Ohh yea & BTW I thought that “I Got The Hook Up” was hilarious…I own it too!
as a person from new orleans, i hate that you like this movie. i also like that you love this movie, cause well, i’m from new orleans.
::hangs head in shame::
champ,
you must be my secret soulmate cause you hit the nail on the head on all of these.
i tried to suppor WDIGM2 but the end was so flucking unbelievable that i nearly shat my pants. and then they eluded to a pt 3 – shame on his ass.
vanilla sky was the 1st date movie with my husband. thanks to tom cruise, i almost missed out on my family. that shat was also the pits!
finally, the matiz revolutions. die already chick. that scene was horrid. ruined the trilogy.
Did anyone see Rocky 6? I think its called Balboa, OMG! Rocky is boxing at an AARP Confrence.
ummm….is you serious?
i’m pretty sure you’re being facetious, but i can’t afford to ASSume on this one. so….is you serious? lol
“2. Gavin dying after his $100,000, “specifically built for the race track” car was hit on the passenger side by a truck going 23 miles per hour.”
After seeing that part….it broke the camels back and I walked out of the living room. Yes, I paid NO money to see it. Yes, I wanted some type of award or refund for watching it!
- A.D.
Vanilla Sky—-”An aarkvark rapes a puppy every time this movie is watched.” FUNNNNNNNY! Bwahahahahahahah
Why did I get Married Too—OMG, these 3 points make sooooo much sense. You clearly don’t know how to watch movies and just be entertained, but your points make sense, nonetheless.
it never fails that ppl don’t read the post in its entirety and completely overlook warnings such as: ***For clarity’s sake, in order to make this list, the movie has to have had some sort of expectation of quality. For instance, although I Got the Hook Up and Glitter were definitely terrible movies, they don’t qualify because nobody in their right mind thought they’d be any good. I’ve named this the “Shannon Tweed Tenet”***
and sure enough, you scroll down and see ppl list movies like “I Got the Hook Up” and “Glitter” LOL. clearly no one anticipated those movies would be contenders for “movie of the year”. good grief.
champikins–you shoulda done an over/under for this one. if only id gotten here sooner *smh*
Chronicles of Riddick and Pitch Black were both great movies to me.
Where is obsessed (this movie doesn’t deserve to be capitalized)!!!??
This movie was sooo horrible.
How about any movie with beyonce in it lmao.
So any who here is my list of the worst movies ever:
1:Obsessed
2:Dream Girls
3:Lord of the Rings… all of them
4:Star Wars.. all of them
5:Transformers 2 and probably every one after it.
Anything w/ Beyonce is expected to suck. She even tried to destroy Dreamgirls! LOLOL
I don’t know if anyone has mentioned “Wolfman” yet with Benicio Del Toro and Anthony Hopkins. I thought it would be good because it had a cast of quality actors….
*in my Charlie Murphy voice* Wrong! Wrong!
Something about it just didn’t work for me….
I thoroughly enjoyed that, the story wasn’t all that I had hoped it be but I was entertained and romanced a bit, maybe it was the cinematography and costumes, those two elements reminded me of “Bram Stoker’s Dracula” by Coppola circa 92, that is one of my favorite films ever!!!
oh and the wolfman man make-up/effects were OFFICIAL too!!!!
I agree, visually, Wolfman was very good.
I think you’re right, it was the story, it eeded a l’il something more…
I’m a trader to my generation, I was never into Bram Stoker’s Dracula either, but it wasn’t a bad movie.
Wolfman….I want that hour plus back! lol
*it needed…
i don’t know if anyone has mentioned this movie but it’s by far the worst movie I’ve ever seen in my life. “A Day In the Life”
Starring: Sticky Fingaz, Mekhi Phifer, Omar Epps, Fredro Starr, Malinda Williams, Ray-J, Michael Rapaport and Faizon Love
Plot: A rapping musical. When I say the whole movie is one long rap album I mean everyone in the movie is rapping. Imagine Michael Rapaport dropping a quick 16. smh
This isht sounds downright tragic…lol
it really was. i was saddened by it.
“Imagine Michael Rapaport dropping a quick 16. smh”
Shoot Rapaport earn his black card a minute ago lol I applaud him for taking on roles that I highly doubt a lot of white actors would do.
M. Knight Shamalan’s – THE VILLAGE…..Terrible! The ending just made it really bad.
THAT movie should be in the top 5 w/o any hesitation!
Yeah, Matrix Revolutions was a mess…I just couldn’t wait for it to be over. And let’s not talk about Jada Pinkett Smith’s awful performance. Oh wait, she just can’t act in general, so that’s just the norm for her. But we won’t talk about that today. While I did enjoy transformers 2, I still completely agree with everything you said. There were also major plot holes in the film, but I enjoyed it anyway, because it was an action flick which I saw at the franklin institute’s Imax screen, and I felt like I was flying, so it was worth it!
Why did I get married too….oh Jesus. I really enjoyed the first one. And I really enjoy balls to the wall drama. But damn…what a freakin’ mess. It was so bad, that I didn’t realize how bad it was till a few days later, and the more I thought about it, the more I hated it. I’ve always thought people were just being too sadditty about Tyler Perry. I hate it when I’m wrong…ugh. Dear Mr. Perry, I’ll be keeping my money out of your pocket’s from now on. I didn’t see the other two movies, but Bad Santa looked like a bad joke, and I’ve heard several times that Vanilla Sky is HORRIBLE and that the japanese original was way better.
This post was worth reading just on the basis of the “aardvark rapes a puppy” comment. LMFAO.
Champ, how dare you! Bad Santa was FUNNY! A little too much midget for me, but funny!
I agree that She Hate Me or Pay It Forward would have been welcome additions instead – I walked out on the latter, despite Kevin Spacey…
I am one of the seven people who actually paid to see Pootie Tang in the theater. I went to the extra hood theater where kids were running up and down the aisles and yelling, and their parents just yelled at them from their seats instead of telling them to hush. One woman got real loud when her kid poured that $29304 tub of popcorn on the floor. Again, I paid to see Pootie Tang, so I deserved that experience.
Sa-da-tay!
Ok when do yall post, because I always come in 300 comments later…
Your whole argument about the cell password is irrelevant anyway, because no black man would EVER stay w a woman who constantly yells/belittles/talks to him in that way.
That whole movie in general reminded of dating a man, whom I really liked and then come to find out he has a little penis or like five kids. Just all types of disappointing. Tyler Perry is to black ppl what Jersey Shore is to everyone else…
Step Brothers WAS NOT FUNNY. Inception was overrated. And I hate anything in 3D.
~Token B.
PS – Bad Santa was funny. Bill Bob Thornton is like Gin, either you like it or you don’t.
I agree a 120% the story line of Why Did I Get Married Too was horrendous. Totally unrealistic. I just saw it about 2 days ago and got into this huge argument with a friend who thought it was the best movie in the world. Update: me and this individual will be keeping movies out of anything we do from now on.
But I saw Takers over the weekend and I thought that was the worst heist/bank robbery movie yet. Like seriously. Strong cast but the characters in the movie soft as ice cream. **** Spoiler alert somewhat – how are you a bank robber, you rob a bank, kill a cop and then go back home (your last known home address, where the cellphone bill in your name is sent) to chill. Like how senseless and unprofessional is that? Takers should have taken excerpts from Heat (Al Pacino, Robert DeNiro) and applied them.
YAY! HIP HIP HOORAY!
CONGRATS VSB.com!
YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST!!!
I ? VSB.com
I wholeheartedly agree with your Why Did I Get Married Too ‘analysis’. I felt cheated out of $12 when I went to see it on opening night.
And Bad Santa- terrible! Some dude took me on a date to see that yearssssssss ago. Needless to say, that was our 1st and last date- LOL.
LOVE IT!
‘mulholland drive’ and ‘the invisible’. i like all movies of all genres. i appreciate weirdness and attempts at being all cerebral and shit but…. i went hysterical and overcome with rage when…
1. the whole plot of mulholland drive turned out to be a lesbians lsd dream taking place in a land that resembles picasso’s melted clocks painting
2. the “thug” white girl in the invisible pulled her cap off and revealed herself to be a vidal sassoon model with angstyness stemming from years of …argumentative parents.
also, what the fuck happened with ‘Precious’. what movie was the oscar committee watching for fuck’s sake. i went in waiting to cry overwhelmed with a story of pain and the power to overcome and left feeling hopeless and angry (with the movie industry, with the exhausting dialogue [monique, take a breath between "fuckin" and "bitch". please!], and the problem of obesity in America)
Errrone of y’all can back the f*ck up off The Matrix series…RIGHT! NOW! I will tolerate no such bashing. The third movie f*ckin’ rocked.
Vanilla Sky makes my d!ck itch. That’s all I have to say about that.
Bad Santa was funny. Setting counts though. I saw it opening weekend in a packed theater. I still enjoy it on the occasion that it’s on TV.
WDIGM was exactly what I expected. Hokie and unrealistic gospel-tainment.
What other movie did you name? *scrolling up* Ah yes…Transformers 2. It was forgettable. And even gratuitous frontal shots of Megan Fox running didn’t help it either.
Okay this just made my entire day better lmao but I can’t agree with Bad Santa or Tranformers 2… Bad Santa was hilarious (although I was drunk as hell the night I watched it) and Transformers?? Yes it had questionable moments (like the ignorant bad stereotype autobots who served zero purpose to the movie) I still thought it was a great movie. I should mention I’m a huge Transformers freak and I left work early so my son and I could see it on opening day (with tickets bought in advance lol) so I may be biased lol
Matrix Reloaded had the white dreadlocked twins, which was cool. Other than that it was the Gatrix. No followup after that.
Ocean’s 13 was supposed to be subtle-smug cool like the previous movies. My theater experience of it was duuuuuuuuuull. My aunt was plenty upset with us for not preventing us from watching it.
Transformers 2, the cartoon itself was campy. Thats how you rationalize the movie versions not being serious films. Still, Michael Bay inserting his contrived stereotypes and TERRIBLE indistinguishable robot designs (Alien bristly scouring pad robots, JUST like I remember Megatron from the cartoon…) he took away from the experience. The casting of the real Prime and Megatron voices is 1/2 the movie’s credibility.
The hype-to-disappointment ratio is definitely widest with the Star Wars prequels. The end of Attack of the Clones was one of the saddest cases of personal denial I’ve ever experienced. My sight saw suckness but mind didnt want to believe it. Like those people thinking Mike Tyson still was Iron Mike. How can you have ALL those GOOD award-winning respected actors, and make them ALL look and sound so WOODEN? Samuel L’s Mace Windu is one of the most convincing performances. That should not be happening with Ewan McGregor, Liam Freakin Neeson, and Natalie Portman.
Great post!
I personally think that all of Tyler “coon” Perry’s Movies are the worst movies ever, for reasons you listed and also the intential religious manipulation and promotion of negative stereotypes.
It is simply amazing that black women are so eager to take advice on, LOVE, FAMILY, RELIGION and relationships from a Closeted gay man, who has had one of the worst families, who doesnt even go to church, (madea doesn’t either) and who, admittedly , has never had a healthy relationship.
We need to stop supporting this idiot !
Belly.
Anyone who willing pays to see/support Tyler Perry movies should : 1) run immediately to the nearest hospital and have themselves sterilzed, 2) hit themselves in the face with a shovel, 3) repeat step 2.
Pretty much any Adam Sandler movie makes my worst film list.
The Blair Witch Project
The Last Exorcism
Paranormal Activity [basically the BF could've saved his own fate by kicking his bitchy, unemployed GF out on the curb....problem solved]
Spider-Man 3 [made me want to rip the tattoo off my arm >:0( ]
Waiting to Exhale [if you date losers, well what does that make you?]
Any chick flick or Rom-Com where the super model pretty girl ends up with a “regular guy” [because that only happens when you've got Russell Simmons' kinda money]
And any “hood” movie [i.e First Sunday, Soulplane, Lottery Ticket, Takers, etc....]
He’s Just Not that in to You. Hated It! (in my Antoine Merryweather voice)
One more, and I know I’m going to get disagreed with on this, but Beloved was horrible. It’s the one movie that gave me a headache.
I actually stopped reading after the first choice for “worst movie ever”. Obviously the person making this list doesn’t have the cognitive capacity to understand “Vanilla Sky”, and by not understanding, has deemed it to be one of the worst movies ever. By that logic, “Barney’s Great Adventure” would be voted “Best Movie Ever” simply because it doesn’t exceed the reviews I.Q. cap of 70. So without reading anymore, I’ve decided to add this “Worst List” to my list of “Worst Lists”.
Buffalo Bill & the Indians w/ Paul Newman … worst ever.