[***Admin Note: On March 27th in Washington D.C., The Champ will be on a panel with a few other "relationship experts" to talk about relationships, love, sex, and all that other good stuff, and he'd greatly appreciate your support. Go to moderndaymatchmaker.eventbrite.com for more details.
Also, if you're planning on attending, please buy your tickets with the promotional code "VSB" to receive a discount. Thanks!***]
- ***picture filed under “screenshots of dreams the champ regularly has”***
a couple of things dawned on me while at the house party i referenced in monday’s entry:
1. buffalo chicken dip really stings if it gets in your eye (dont ask)
2. the utter variety present within the population of black women
i mean, its not like i hadn’t realized this before. but, the potpourri of sistas present at this relatively small event further proved that from dark-brown or light and naturally curly or nappy to artist or athlete and southern belle or north philly firecracker, they’re like a combination platter at an all you can eat chinese buffet.
and, although i’m sure there are multiple variations among non-black women, part of what makes sistas so special is that within their endless assortments are a few common archetypes, recurring characters completely unique to the collective black narrative.
***personally, two of my favorites are “ms god/body with nice bubble perpetually hidden by her atache” (best exemplified by erykah badu) and “the surprisingly sweet hood chick with a heart of gold”***
anyway, this diversity made me think of a few other somewhat underrated things about dating sistas, and here’s four more
2. you always know you’re going to get some the day before they get their hair done
since they know they’re probably not going to want to have sex for a couple days after getting their hair did (for fear of “sweating it out”), most sistas basically turn into a brown skinned version of snookie from jersey shore the day before their hair appointments. seriously, you’d have to have less game than brian scalabrine to get turned down the day before hairday.
plus, since they know they’re getting a wash, press, and curl the next day, this is the one time you can be, ummmm, “creative” with what you do to and what ends up in their hair without getting cussed out.
3. if she ever complains about you singing off key in the shower, you can always get cool points by telling her “i was actually just singing ‘queen to be‘, because, you know, you’re my queen”
***this only works, btw, with women born sometime between 1972 and 1985***
4. considering the fact that (aside from prince, giancarlo esposito, and dudley moore) sistas usually don’t go for super short men with straight hair, you don’t have to worry about an angry asian man stealing your girl
i’ve had an irrational fear of short, muscular, asian men since watching tong po kick a hole through a cement wall in kickboxer, so it helps me sleep at night knowing that i probably won’t ever have to fight one to keep my girl.
5. if you all ever happen to get chased by a dog, serial killer, rabid midget clown, alien, or group of mexicans, you won’t have to worry about her doing some dumb shit like falling or stopping to ask the alien if he knows the showtimes for avatar at loews.
i’m sure i’m missing a few.
men of vsb.com, can you think of any more underrated positives about dating a black woman? also, ladies, are there any under-publicized about benefits of dating a brotha?
the carpet is yours
—the champ
Champ you NEVER fail to make me laugh way harder then I probably should
As a black women I cosign with all these and must point out that you don’t give my generation (born 1990) enough credit. I know the “queen to be” reference and my guy has on more than one occasion TRIED to sing it to me
Haha I like to think my guy sounds a bit like that penguin from Happy Feet that sounds like he’s being perpetually stepped on whenever he tries to sing
LOL Why would you be running from a group of Mexicans? Just curious lol
@lh,
LOL Why would you be running from a group of Mexicans? Just curious lol
because they’re chasing me. you can’t let them just catch you and sh*t
@The Champ, were they chasing you cause you took their tortillas, I mean Mexican’s don’t just chase you for no reason
@Intellectual Hedonist,
were they chasing you cause you took their tortillas, I mean Mexican’s don’t just chase you for no reason
the angry ones in my dreams do
@Intellectual Hedonist,
lmao NOT “cause you took their tortillas”
ihateyoueprima!!!!!! *dying*
*psa: tortillas, esp homemade, are a staple. messicans dont play when it comes to food*
@Intellectual Hedonist,
OMG This had me DYING! LMAO
But it made me think of something. Have you guys ever heard of the Amazing Racist. He’s sooooo wrong but the shiii he does is soooo funny
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/80742755/
@lh, I agree with you on the “queen to be” note, Coming to America is a classic all age groups should know at least a few references so add 1986, and 1990 to that list you got there Champ!
Oh and about the underrated things about dating a brotha
While the talk about the magnitude of um…certain subarea appendages… is pretty well know I think brothas have this natural quiet but extremely strong aura of sensuality about them that other raced men (IMO) just don’t seem to have…
I’ve dated some pretty attracted other-raced men but I’ve never felt that shivery, faint, good-god-almighty, feeling that I’ve gotten when a brotha takes me in his arms, lays me down and…
Whew, I should stop. LOL
Oh and when you go to a club or anywhere in general where you’ll be dancing you don’t have to stop ever two minutes to re-orient and get the guy you’re dancing with on beat again…..
@lh
AMEN and a half to knowing how to stay on beat. Lord bless those who try, but it’s a beautiful thing when rhythm is innate!
@lh,
“I’ve dated some pretty attracted other-raced men but I’ve never felt that shivery, faint, good-god-almighty, feeling that I’ve gotten when a brotha takes me in his arms, lays me down and…”
CO-SIGN!!! There’s just something about black men, they seriously get my pulse racing like no other.
@lh,
amen to all the amens.
I mainly wanted to leave a comment simply because I hadn’t done so in a while, and decided to also contribute proactively to the post:
(re: under-rated perks of dating a nubian king, or whatever term of art you like today, when referring to “a black man”):
It has come to my attention that we (women) may or may not be crazy. I won’t confirm this in any way whatsoever. But, I will concede that nobody handles, accepts, and understands the alleged crazy like a black man.
that is all.
@Penelope,
But, I will concede that nobody handles, accepts, and understands the alleged crazy like a black man.
I definately Co-sign! my man calms me down well after I have attempted to wage world war 3, genocides, and all out world domination on his arse…I just know when he says Listen…I put the weapons down.
@I-think-therefore-I-am,
LOL too cute. i love it!
*thinking: i wish i could find a brotha who could do the same for me. instead, theyre always ready to draw and get it crackin too*
@I-think-therefore-I-am,
loves it. so true to. at the point when he’s at the “Listen…” stage… you have to knock it down 20 levels. lol. crazy is only so crazy, and we know which crazy level to not exceed. lol
@Penelope,
It has come to my attention that we (women) may or may not be crazy. I won’t confirm this in any way whatsoever.
oh, this is definitely true.
carry on
Black dudes’ peens do not resemble uncooked meat.
@KaNisa,
“Black dudes’ peens do not resemble uncooked meat.”
Some girl on Top Model said that about white dudes last week. I had never heard that until then. Then again, I don’t hunt for nekkid white peens, so…
@KaNisa,
*comatose…someone PLEASE grab those electric paddle things!!
@KaNisa,
thanks for ruining my escargot and eggs
@The Champ,
Classy!
“nobody handles, accepts, and understands the alleged crazy like a black man.”
This is as true as John 3:16
^^^ in reply to Penelope’s comment.
i 200% co-sign number 4. have you singing dream’s, sweat it out
@Tunde,
what video did you link me to? (its not showing up when i click)
@The Champ, damn it.
here’s the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=imWtboUVsYI
So, Champ… you watch and like that movie Gang of Roses?
@Made In Hawaii,
speak american, please
@The Champ,
***picture filed under “screenshots of dreams the champ regularly has”***
That picture looks like a seen from the movie Gang of Roses so, you must watch that movie all the time, yes?
Brothas understand and never try to question the changing hairstyles of a blk woman, you don’t find them looking at your kitchen while you’re sleeping, or trying to comprehend why one day you have a horse mane length ponytail and the next day a halle-berry cut…
@I-think-therefore-I-am,
Haaaalllllllllleeeeeeeee Beeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyy Haaaaaaaaaaalllleeeeeee Beeeeerrrry!!
Yeah. I just HAD to do that.
@Officer Ricky, why has me laughing uncontrollably…I don’t know. All I can hear is that guy’s (what’s the rapper’s name?) sharp annoying voice wailing “Hallleee Beerrrry, Halle Berry”.
@iLoveit,
His face is even more annoying. I don’t like how his mouth seems to be…I don’t how to describe it…unkempt or something.
@iLoveit,
I only know this because I have some ignant friends but that dudes name is Hurricane Chris….
Don’t judge me
@ Ih, it’s actually not Hurricane Chris’s song, he bought it off the dude who made it first: SupaSTAAR. he’s some dude from dallas…
@Officer Ricky,
Can’t.stop.laughing.
@I-think-therefore-I-am,
“…you don’t find them looking at your kitchen while you’re sleeping…”
ummm, speak for yourself
@I-think-therefore-I-am,
CO SIGN! I’m currently dating a 2520 and he doesnt get it whick is realllllllllllllllly starting to make me reconsider: “when am I gonna see you with your real hair?” “why do you think you need all this stuff” BECAUSE IM GOING TO KILL YOU, THATS WHY. *rant over*
One thing I’ve always admired about brothas that I just haven’t been able to find in other ethnicities, a brotha is always able to handle all this a$$.
Period.
@B*,
From the other side of the Pond…. Amen
@FedinUK,
From the Motherland…..AAAAAMEN!!
@B*,
” I just haven’t been able to find in other ethnicities, a brotha is always able to handle all this a$$”
This comment is useless without pics.
@Humble_One,
I agree. We don’t believe you…
@B*,
*what’s up head nod*
@B*,
welcome and sh*t. and yeah, to echo what i’m sure “humble one” will say later in the thread, this comment is useless without pics
@B*,
Co-sign.
@B*,
Co-signage!
@B*, you may wanna turn that period into a semicolon or a comma once you meet our fam from certain places in Nigeria…. (swoon swoon swoon)
Aside from the undeniable sexiness of a brother in a wifebeater and all white fresh kicks during the summer, a brother’s sense of humor can not be beat. Even hearing brothers clown each other and go in on each other when with their boys is hilarity. Some of best college homeboys I met while in the study center and me not being able to hold in my laugh as they sat around the table and had a roast session. You don’t even have to know them or the context of the person they are going in on to get the joke.
@legitimate_soul,
^sorry for the typos and awkward sentence structure…
@legitimate_soul, ahhhhhhhhh I love a dude that can “jone”the many naturally talented comedians amongst us that keep you in stitches.
@legitimate_soul,
a brother’s sense of humor can not be beat. Even hearing brothers clown each other and go in on each other when with their boys is hilarity
you know what bothers me? we havent really found a way to funnel that talent into a screenplay. i mean, seriously, there have been some funny black comedies, but none on the level of a “40 year old virgin” or an “anchorman”. maybe it just doesnt translate to the screen or something, i dont know
@The Champ,
interesting observation. but you are right. no movie has really captured the hilarity of brothas-in-comedy like our white brethren capture theirs. its sad really (*in my best larry david voice*)
@The Champ,
This is sad, but true. The silly humor from say a Seth Rogan is hilarious to me, but I know we can do a lot better.
@The Champ,
ummm…”Friday” is surely as funny as 40YOV and funnier than Anchorman (which was only funny at times). Friday just wasn’t as raunchy as 40YOV and a lot of the comedy in that movie comes from the embarrassment of having such private things go so publically wrong.
@INFJgurl,
ummm…”Friday” is surely as funny as 40YOV and funnier than Anchorman (which was only funny at times).
60 percent of the time you’re wrong, every time
@INFJgurl,
i LOVE the movie Friday, the ish is hilarious. perhaps because its like it happened in my own backyard.
but it aint funnier than anchorman!!!!
@Champ and Gem:
You see one Will Farrell movie and you’ve seen them all.
Don’t get me wrong, they are funny. And I own Anchorman and Talladega Nights and Step Brothers and Blades of Glory, but they are the same predictable “this stuff could never happy” goofy funny. Friday is, like Gem said, funny like “I know those people and that ish happened last week in my own back yard and is still funny”.
We gon have to agree to disagree on this one.
@INFJgurl,
yeah we’ll have to agree to disagree. while you’re right, Will Ferrell basically did some recycling in his subsequent movies, that doesnt take away from the genius of Anchorman– THE ORIGINAL!!! thats like saying because Next Friday and Friday After Next sucked crusty salty balls (though FAN had some hilarious moments) that Friday has no credibility. just untrue.
@The Champ,
We probably do have the skill to bring it to the screen, but studios say “no” thinking it will not have the appeal of large audiences.
@legitimate_soul,
Agreed.
@legitimate_soul,
“a brother’s sense of humor can not be beat.”
WORD. It’s all in the delivery — ahem, swagger — and the uniqueness. I mean, I seriously wonder sometimes how brothas come UP with some this ish. Has me dying laughing. Which is chexy.
@The Champ,
Brian Scalabrine reference was hillarious.
no. 6: every black woman can get hood when need be. whether it be in defense of her child, her man, her weave, or her food.
@knightnick,
Word. I goes IN on fools that try to mess wit mah plate!
@Redbeanznrice w/Cajun Catfish,
LMAO yesssss!!!! i went to a cookout with a bunch of negroid strangers this wknd and they were jokin about how i was goin in on these ribs. i really almost fought a dude for threatening to take my rib. if the floor wasnt so dirty ida taken off my heels and squared up lol
@knightnick, Cosigned. I love that about black women. This one girl threw a fit because my steak wasn’t cooked right. That ish turned me on we barely made it to the house.
@knightnick,
“no. 6: every black woman can get hood when need be. whether it be in defense of her child, her man, her weave, or her food.”
this is definitely true. i’ve even seen it happen at a coldstones cremery
@knightnick,
and def don’t forget her money. mess with my money, mess with your LIFE.
Watching Love Jones and Love and Basketball in a continous is easily more tolerable than Pretty Women, The Notebook, and The Time Traveler’s Wife.
Whenever you are in the presence of cake you can turn to her and say,”eat the cake Annie Mae.”
@Dash,” Whenever you are in the presence of cake you can turn to her and say,”eat the cake Annie Mae.”
And that right there is the truth….LOL as long as you are saying it in a joking kind of way…otherwise dem is fighting words….truly one of my favorite movie quotes
@bajanflchick, The caek is a lie.
@bajanflchick,
Mine is: “You trying to help, Ike?!!! You the one need the help!”
….to this day when I try to look out I say “I’m trying to help Ike”
@Dash,
Oh wow. You went there with the cake. I swear, 70% of Black men try this. And ’tis true, this cannot be done with a non-Black woman. She just will not get it.
@Dash,
Whenever you are in the presence of cake you can turn to her and say,”eat the cake Annie Mae.”
YES.SIR. I just *fell out* at work…
@Dash,
LMAO!!!! OMG yes. as is the response:
“I’m just trying to help Ike”
“You tryin’ to he’p Ike?!!”
@Smiley Face,
This is my quote! “You the one need the help!” Anytime I’m lookin’ out “I’m tryin’ to help Ike”.
@Dash,
Watching Love Jones and Love and Basketball in a continous is easily more tolerable than Pretty Women, The Notebook, and The Time Traveler’s Wife.
my girl has basically terrorized me into watching both twilight films with her. i’m not sure were this fits in this comment, exactly, but i just wanted to add that
@Dash, I have a friend that calls and leaves me a voice mail and all he will say on the VM is ”eat the cake Annie Mae.” in his best Ike voice. It usually sets me off lmao
@Dash,
Whenever you are in the presence of cake you can turn to her and say,”eat the cake Annie Mae.”
Bwahahahaha! Hilarious!
@Dash,
“Whenever you are in the presence of cake you can turn to her and say,”eat the cake Annie Mae.””
I will marry the next brotha who simultaneously says this to me sans the slapping, of course. If he slaps me, I’ll get Angela Basset’s arms to mollywhop him.
@Dash,
co-sign!
@Dash,
bwahahaha!
i’m jealous no man has ever said that to me. boooo. i’d so die of laughter though. lmbo.
Ok yall, I needs me an avatar. Where might I find one, please?
@Redbeanznrice w/Cajun Catfish,
I think it’s gravatar.com
@Caballeroso,
Thank ya kindly.
@Redbeanznrice w/Cajun Catfish,
You better not make your avatar a plate of red beans and rice with cajun catfish. Your screename alone make me hungry for some good cookin’, so imagine what the visual would do. lol
@Redbeanznrice w/Cajun Catfish,
You could try mad men’s website.
“***this only works, btw, with women born sometime between 1972 and 1985***”
It should work with Black women period. You should be leery of any Black person that has not seen Coming to America.
Speaking of which, is it worse for a Black person to not have seen Coming to America or Friday? I figure the responses could differ based on age, but the oldest person I asked said that both are unacceptable, which is really the correct answer.
@P., I’ve seen Friday, but I hated it. Does that still count?
@Mesha, Blasphemy! lol
@P., If you haven’t seen Coming To America or Friday by the time you’ve left college then your black card gets revoked. i say college cause thats the prime time when the cool black people make sure the people who’s parents did them a disservice get to indulge in black culture.
Coming to America is more important than Friday but both deserve a WTF is wrong with you
@P.,
Speaking of which, is it worse for a Black person to not have seen Coming to America or Friday?
I’m pretty sure the only black ppl who haven’t seen these movies are Michael Steel and Tiger Woods, in wich case makes it very unacceptable. If you come across one…..RUN!
@Tone Capone, Actually, Kwame happily admitted in an interview with DJ Jazzy Jeff that he’s never seen either movie and I lost all respect for him after that.
@Hershey’s Kiss,
I saw that a couple months ago, and that’s actually what made me ask this question.
@P.,
Speaking of which, is it worse for a Black person to not have seen Coming to America or Friday?
Im pretty sure Michael Steel and Tiger Woods are the only two black ppl who haven’t seen these two movies, in which case makes it NOT okay. If you come across one…..RUN!
@P.,
coming to america, definitely. friday, to me, is a bit overrated.
@The Champ,
I agree. While parts of Friday are funny, I haven’t watched it near as many times as I’ve watched Coming to America.
@P.,
Coming to America may appeal to a wider audience than Friday (I am speaking for my black brethren not from the USA like moi.)…
@Sula, chuuuch.( i learned that form my american compadres)
i’ve seen coming to america more times than i can count and can recite the whole screenplay without fail.
what if you’ve seen next friday, but not friday?
@michaboa, damn why must i always have typos?
form=from
Amen to all of the above.
Underrated (or perhaps duly rated, je sais pas) bonuses in dating a black guy.
*Not having to explain oneself if you should start flowing. Sometimes I make up random songs, sometimes I just freestyle. I like not having to explain the art form I’m creating to a 2520 who missed the memo about different forms of poetry
*Being able to sing “Brown Skin” a la India.Arie . Great song, great lyrics, only works, I’d say with someone with a healthy dose of melanin, yaddaimean?
There’s so much beauty, diversity and goodness that can be had by sampling a VSB from Texas, the Boot, or D.C. (curse these D.C. cats with their sly smiles and great slang)
Great post The Champ.
@KayBeezy, “*Being able to sing “Brown Skin” a la India.Arie . Great song, great lyrics, only works, I’d say with someone with a healthy dose of melanin, yaddaimean?”
cosigning here 100% and an honorable mention to Angie Stone’s “Brotha”-Love the Brothas with the melanin workin
@KayBeezy,
when Brown Skin came out i was with a hiiiiiiigh yeller fellow and actually resented the fact that i couldn’t sing it, considering how much i adored and still adore that song. haven’t dated anyone lighter than me since…
wow. just realized that. lmbo.
I didn’t even know there was a Jay-Z version of that song.
@Mesha,
welcome and sh*t. and, before you come back, make sure to get your zofoft prescription re-filled
@The Champ,
THIS literally had me crying with laughter in class.
My professor is confused as to why I look so happy to be there… when im normally asleep. LOL.
Brothas got that “IT” factor
You ever see a brotha wash their car…good googly moo..a sight to behold.
No one on EARTH can walk like a brotha…that stroll says something to me!
No one can issue a “warming” like a brotha…one well placed “Girl…” and I’m through fussing *tee hee hee*
The way they caress the curves like they’ve drawn the map of your body before they’ve even seen it!
That random “Hey Ms Lady” lol
…and seriously for me…the way I feel protected around them can’t replace anything
@Smiley Face, some definitely have the “it” factor on lock, as if they invented it LOL
When my nicety getting TOO sassy, one “look girl” from that dude and I tone right down LOL… Lawd knows everybody is not built like that.
@OrangeStar616,
Speak on it!!!
@OrangeStar616,
Oh man, the look?!
You already know, just fall back.
@Smiley Face,
No one on EARTH can walk like a brotha…that stroll says something to me!
That’s it. I’m officially getting no work done today and about to see if I can’t booty call my dude at 1113a.
Sitting here, feeling kinda special in a special place…..DAMN YOU!!! LOL!
@SexyCool,
Giirrrllll!!! My mind went STRAIGHT there! LOL..and don’t let him be in a suit…wooochile!
@Smiley Face,
You entire comment has been sprinkled with holy water because it is sacred truth.
@Smiley Face,
“Brothas got that “IT” factor…”
and the church said…. AMEN!
@Beremore,
AMEN.
@Smiley Face,
Cosign entire post lol
Brothas can just give you that look like “You got two seconds to calm yo a** down”
And I swear I either promptly stfu and remove myself from the room lol or start takin my clothes off haha
@lh,
THIS.
@Smiley Face,
No one can issue a “warming” like a brotha…one well placed “Girl…” and I’m through fussing *tee hee hee* .
I say ridiculous stuff sometimes, JUST so I can get shut down. oooo-weeeee. No with some bass behind it, gets me every single time.
@V Renee,
*snickering*
Yep. Just talking reckless on purpose so you can get snatched.
@miss t-lee,
LOL..who you tellin’! *fans self*
Positives to Dating a Sista:
*We speak the same language. Even though different regions have different accents and ways of saying things, generally, Black Americans have the same dialect. Even if you’re not familiar with a certain slang term or phrase, context clues befriends you and voila, your speaking from the same page. This also includes random music and movie quotes.
*Food. Even though Black people grow up in an array of different types of households, generally, we’re gonna have an appreciation for the same types of food generally prepared in the same type of way. Ex. When my parents moved to the ‘burbs of Detroit, my sister’s best friend (a white) always reeked of garlic. The scent would ooze through the poor girl’s pours. All I could think was, “Wheredeydodatat!?”
*Doggystyle. Even though there are white girls and others with ample rumps, I don’t necessarily find a pale a*s sexy. Even if it has the Kim Kardashian shape, I prefer a caramel, butter pecan, or chocolate deluxe hue when I’m looking down…no French vanilla, thank you. In addition, when hair-pulling comes into play, I don’t like the feel of the stringy hair. It’s too soft and that should be done with force, in my opinion. Even a sista with a freshly relax hair has a stronger texture to their hair that makes me feel more comfortable when doing it. By the way, I’ve never bedded a Black woman who has had a problem with hair-pulling…I think that would classify as a deal breaker.
*No Side-Eye Looks. Even though my parents sincerely has no problem with their children dating outside of their race, I know there’s a sigh of relief (although it’s never admitted) from my mother when she knows I’m with another Black woman.
*If I used a comb (or even had hair), we could use the same one.
*Bottomline: A real good sista has one up on other women when it comes to understanding our plight and shyt. Treat her as your “queen to be” and if she’s a genuinely good woman, she’ll treat you as a king.
@Monk,
*If I used a comb (or even had hair), we could use the same one.
That made me giggle
@Monk,
“We speak the same language. Even though different regions have different accents and ways of saying things, generally, Black Americans have the same dialect. Even if you’re not familiar with a certain slang term or phrase, context clues befriends you and voila, your speaking from the same page. This also includes random music and movie quotes.”
I don’t know about this one Monk. I think we all talk the same except for New Yorkers and Southerners. New Yorkers and Southerners have their own language.
@Humble_One,
True, but one can still decipher what they’re saying. For example, if a chick down here in the ‘A’ says, “I wan’ sum ‘nemonade,” I know to break out the Simply Lemonade or point her in the direction to the closet Chik-Fil-A with the BEST lemonade. Brrrrr!
@Monk,
I’m addicted to Simply Lemonade so I know how good that is. I’ve bought it by the case. But Chik-Fil-A? I’ve heard so much about this place. We don’t have any here. Is their lemonade better than Hotdog On A Stick’s?
@Monk,
That Chik-Fil-A lemonade goes fed mayne!!!!
*oh yeah love how you worked the Ice Cream lyrics in up top…lol
@Humble_One,
No Chik-Fil-A in the D…Word? Chik-Fil-A’s lemonade is on a whole other level.
Chik-Fil-A’s lemonade > Hotdog On A Stick’s lemonade
You gotta try it. It’s that crack.
@Monk,
Never been to Hotdog On A Stick but Chik-Fil-A’s lemonade is just like Simply Lemonade (maybe a tad sweeter) with a splash of crack to make it more addictive.
@Monk,
Simply Lemonade Raspberry – MUST have crack in it.
@Humble,
I don’t even eat fast food, but Chick-fil-a goes HARD!! The lemonade?? To die for!
@Monk,
I’d argue Hot Dog On A Stick (food court spots in the mall with the uniforms) Cherry Lemonade goes HARD!!!! I don’t even know if they are still even around, but that cherry lemonade was a thing of beauty
@Monk,
I just had to chime in and say that Chik Fil A lemonade is that shyt!!!!! I love Simply Lemondade but it’s not touching Chik Fil A’s!
@Monk,
Chick-Fil-A waffle fries can only be outdone by McDs “fries”.
I see you freshman 15….
@Monk, Lovely!
I always said the hood is same eveywhere you go outside of slang and style of dress. Its the same game.
@OrangeStar616,
I don’t think so,lol. I’m from Jersey…grew up surrounded by projects…I’ve been to projects in Harlem and Queens, NY..and I’m telling you…I’ve seen some projects in the South that had me straight shook. That was not the same game at all. Ish looked like a mini New Jack City or some crap.
@LaBakir, of course some areas, some blocks, some PJs are harder than others, but thats in every hood tho, every hood has those areas, blocks is the point.
@LaBakir,
My brother and I were talking about this last night. The poverty in the South and Appalachia is just deplorable compared to the North. I from Detroit and I thought it was bad here. It’s even worse in those areas than it is here.
@Humble_One
It’s crazy! I watched a special on ABC last year about the Appalachia. It was devestating to see how poor those people are. I’ve been to Detroit once…and it rained the whole weekend
On top of that, I think this women tried to pick me up…I think she was a “madame” :/
@OrangeStar616, I get what you saying…but I’m telling you…it was something about those projects. Like these ninjas really didn’t care about life…yours or theirs.
LMAO…i had a blonde moment…I’m like…”why she talking about pajamas?’ smh
@LaBakir,
I think the projects are different where you are because of the cost of living. You have more working class folks in the projects there. In other cities the poorest folks stay in the projects.
@Monk,
Food. Even though Black people grow up in an array of different types of households, generally, we’re gonna have an appreciation for the same types of food generally prepared in the same type of way. Ex. When my parents moved to the ‘burbs of Detroit, my sister’s best friend (a white) always reeked of garlic. The scent would ooze through the poor girl’s pours. All I could think was, “Wheredeydodatat!?”
if i extended this to six, food would have found a way on it.
@Monk,
i <3 this list
@Monk,
*Bottomline: A real good sista has one up on other women when it comes to understanding our plight and shyt. Treat her as your “queen to be” and if she’s a genuinely good woman, she’ll treat you as a king.”
This here ^^^ is the truth. Love. It. Hell, that entire post got that fiyah. Go head on …
I have a few underrated positves about dating a sista.
1) She understands the BS brothas go through at times.
2) I like to talk ish. I personally have never met a 2520 chic that could talk ish. A few sistas I kicked it with would cap, roast, snap, play the dozens with me. I really appreciated that because most women don’t know how to do that.
3) Big lips. I LOVE women with big lips. There is a difference between kissing a woman with thin lips and one with big lips.
4) The walk. Especially on a thick (i’m talking mid 90s and earlier thick) sista.
5) She can be from the hood and still operate in a professional manner, hold an intelligent conversation, and not be bougie.
6) This isn’t underrated but I have to mention sistas and their sick @ss-to-waist ratio. There aren’t too many other women that can pull off a 38-26-44 with no body fat.
@Humble_One,
#6 is a damn problem. It is crazy that only black women can pull of that ration and not look fat at all.
@Humble_One,
4) The walk. Especially on a thick (i’m talking mid 90s and earlier thick) sista.
And just what was a “mid 90s” thick compared to today?
@Ivyette, Some people confuse fat w/ thick now a days…now damn near everybody is just “thick”
@LaBakir,
Some people confuse fat w/ thick now a days…now damn near everybody is just “thick”
ohhhh….so I guess “mid 90s thick” is actually thick, not a euphemism for fat. I wonder what size that would be.
@LaBakir,
Exactly. I was at a party back in 2002 and this chic was at the table I sat at trying to holler at me. She was annoying me. She said to me “Whats up? You scared of all this thickness?”. I told her that I don’t like thick, voluptuous, or curvy women. I only date fat girls. After that she gave me the mofo look and left me alone.
@LaBakir,
Ur right. A dude answered my call with “Hey Thickness” and all I could think was, “How cute!” Cause I’m a big girl. Sexy and carry it well, but I ain’t thick. I guess it’s better than saying “Hey Fatness”. I probably would have had to cut his ass through Bellsouth’s lines. Yeah, fat and thick ain’t the same.
@Ivyette, That’s what I’m guessing. IMO…thick is shapely in all the right places. I’m not sure we can pinpoint a particular size though…
@Ivyette,
“And just what was a “mid 90s” thick compared to today?”
Back in the 90s “thick” was a term used to describe a woman with a narrow waist, wide hips, thick thighs, and a stomach that was flat or with a little pudge. I say mid 90s because that was when I had a situation with a girl that told me she was thick when she obviously wasn’t. After that me and my friends notice a gradual change. By 2000 and the Blackplanet era (this is when we came up with “internet thick”) the term had a new definition.
@Humble_One,
By 2000 and the Blackplanet era (this is when we came up with “internet thick”) the term had a new definition.
LOL @ “internet thick”. That Blackplanet put a whole new spin on a lot of things.
“i’ve had an irrational fear of short, muscular, asian men since watching tong po kick a hole through a cement wall in kickboxer”
*snickering* Dayum champie, this isht is hilarious.
@miss t-lee,
its the truth. seriously, my idea of hell is being kicked for all eternity by short asian men with bald ponytails
@The Champ,
“my idea of hell is being kicked for all eternity by short asian men with bald ponytails”
There’s no toast involved? I would think your version of hell is being kicked by all eternity by short Asian men with bald ponytails while they eat toast and don’t offer you any.
when i was in school, i was priviledged enough to spend my down time in between classes and work at the local barber shop/urban clothing store. (i’m sure the D’s didn’t hurt and i’m not talking grades or rims..;) )
what i love about dating black men is that no matter what, they know WE have THEIR back because they are too often underestimated and misunderstood.
sure, the topics covered the usual (detailed conversations about women’s lingerie..might have also helped the time that i worked in a lingerie store..) but also covered love, adoption, education and more. this was usually a group of fellas who range similarly to Champ’s recent social gathering. It’s something I look back on with pride (trust me i got NUFF side-eye from other chick) and value the education and insight that many never get to see.
that and a dude who looks so fresh and so clean straight out the barber shop….
…….
@Keisha Brown,
“that and a dude who looks so fresh and so clean straight out the barber shop….”
Yep!
@Keisha Brown,
wait, it was a barbershop/store? i dont think ive ever seen one of those
@The Champ,
yeah, the barbershop was street level, the store (which rarely saw sales or staff) was above it. which was quite convenient when i used the change room for my own personal…interlude with a dude..lol…
@The Champ,
“wait, it was a barbershop/store? i dont think ive ever seen one of those”
They are usually called drug fronts.
@Humble_One,
LMAO!!! That was the same thing I was thinking too.
@The Champ,
trust me..they weren’t that coordinated..
I grew up in the south (Louisiana), so this comment may stand true for “southern black men”.
One of the most underrated things about a brotha is their love for our bodies (perfect or imperfect). Although I’m not an insecure person, I do tend to find (the smallest) faults with my body. Every guy that I’ve ever dated gave me the side-eye or the “are you crazy?” look when when I would mention that i could lose a few pounds or tighten up my mid-section.
@CNotes,
the thing women have to realize is that even though men aren’t attracted to every body type, if hes with you that means he probably approached you, and if he approached you that means he’s definitely attracted to yours (as long as you dont gain or lose 70 pounds in the next two months)
@The Champ,
True indeed. I guess listening to Beckys at work stress over every lb. makes me appreciate the brothas I have encounters with.
4. you always know you’re going to get some the day before they get their hair done
This is hilarious and SOOOOOOOO true! You’re not about to mess up my press on Thursday night, after I just got it done on Wednesday.
@K to the…,
seriously, the only other time that will guarantee sex better than the day before she gets her hair done is a saturday or sunday morning after you’ve cooked her breakfast
Champ your so right about the short guy thing, trust me I know for a fact. The worst about dating a sista when you 5’6 or shorter is, no matter how tall she is. She’s always convinced that she could whoop YOUR ass, if it ever came down to it. They be on some old “reverse Ike turner” shit.
If I had a dollar for every time my girl said, “What did you just say to me?” or “Alright lil Nigga..Don’t mess around and get yo’ ass whooped up in here. The Pastor, the deacon, and everybody else up in this congregation will be pullin me off yo’ lil ass today”.
@Brettandthecity,
This is hilarious, just really sad at the same time…lol
I may hafta re-think dating short dudes.
*snickering*
@miss t-lee,
Hey miss t-lee. The real reason you should rethink dating short dudes is because, honestly, those lil dudes be some tripod packing mofo’s. I’m just saying. It throws you all the way off sometimes what those short dudes be working with.
@INFJgurl,
Hmmm tri-pod you say?
*index finger on chin thinking*
Not the first time I’ve heard that though. The same goes true for skinny kats…lol
@INFJgurl,
*flashback* *shivers* …waving the church fan
@INFJgurl, Well speaking for my self, yes I am pretty well endowed, so that should make up for my height.
But my girl is kind of dominant. Because of my height, she always insists that she’s on top. That’s where I draw my line. You already lead on the dance floor, but I got to take charge somewhere. Otherwise we have another “strap on” incident which I still get mad over. In my defense.. I was asleep.
@Brettandthecity
WTF? “Strap on incident”? “Still get mad over”? Your chick ain’t dead after some bull like that? Sounds like you getting dominated has nothing to do with your height. Sounds like your girl thinks you’re a bottom. Not. Cool.
@INFJgurl,
And I thought I was the one to overshare. :/
@INFJgurl,
honestly, those lil dudes be some tripod packing mofo’s .
CO-SIGN CO-SIGN CO-SIGN!!!!!!
@INFJgurl,
I will have to co-mothertruckin’- sign this.
@miss t-lee, i just really can’t do short men (I am barely 5’1ft so yeah its a def no. I don’t feel protected nor do I feel like when he gives me that side-eye, that I will back down.
@MissingBerlin,
I understand girlie. I got like 8 inches on you, and I normally don’t even look at kats shorter than my height..lol
@MissingBerlin,
Since you’re 5’1, what do yo consider to be short for a guy??
Good topic as always, Champ. There is a movie that is based on your dream that is in your picture. It is called Gang of Roses with Lisa Raye and Stacey Dash as cowgirls. It is a horribly acted movie that has Bobby Brown in it as the bad guy, but black women dressed in corsets and cowboy hats is awesome.
The one thing I can say that is truly underrated about a black woman is her aura. The intangible, invisible, magnetic aura of a beautiful, confident black woman. That aura is so damn powerful that is like walking next to a giant magnet wearing a suit of armor. You cannot help but be pulled in and be attracted to it. Whether she is light skinned, brown skinned, dark skinned, slim, thick, tall, short, long hair, short hair, dreads, it does not matter. It doesn’t matter if she is a lawyer, doctor, teacher, a student, social worker, actress, hell, even a stripper or a pron star. No other woman has that aura like a black woman. For some people, it is intimidating, as you can see how people react to Shelly O. At one point, for me, that aura was intimidating because it is great and that powerful. As I have gotten older, I can been drawn to constantly. There are beautiful women all over the world, but that aura makes a black woman unique. The aura of an intelligent, beautiful and confident black woman will stop a man in his tracks. I’ve seen it, I’ve been a victim of it, have almost had car wrecks because of it, and have ran into few doors because of it, too. All the stuff everyone has said so far is good and I totally agree with, but that aura gets me every time.
Much love to black woman, especially the VSS.
@ComicBookGuy,
Awwwww…..so nice. This illustrates what I like about black men. One moment you all can be quite…..creative with how you describe black women and then be so serious, sweet, and sincere.
P.S.=I thought about your “dump truck booty” comment when I read your repsonse. It still makes me chuckle.
@Ivyette,
Well, soror, a “dump truck booty” does add to that aura as well. LOL Just sayin’.
@ComicBookGuy, you’re awesome!
@LaBakir,
Thanks buddy. Oh yeah, I was right about my car. It has some much damn pollen on it, it looked like a school bus. Every car wash I drove by after work this week has been full of cars. I effing hate springtime in Texas.
@ComicBookGuy,
ComicBookGuy and the Magic School Bus…lol
Glad I don’t have the problem…that would be bad for Ava…and my allergies
@ComicBookGuy,
I effing hate springtime in Texas.
I love the spring time but my allergies are killing me… This pollen isht is for the birds. Can we just have sunshine instead? Ugh.
@ComicBookGuy and Sula,
Ya’ll already know. I’ve been taking my meds religiously since Jan. when the cedar started up round here.
Guess that’s the trade off for wide open spaces…lol
@Sula,
The main reason why I hate it is because of allergies. It was worse when I was at PV because I was out in the country surrounded by trees and having to walk across campus halfway blind because my eyes were so watery.
@ComicBookGuy, this is true..but I think it also depends on the sistah in question tho..again everyone isn’t built this way.
@OrangeStar616,
You are so right about that. It is the same thing as saying not all brothas have that swagger that black women love. My comment may not apply to every black woman, but the ones it does apply to drive me wild.
@ComicBookGuy, yes my sentiments exactly, but when it is there, its undeniable. and just by presence alone it exposes LOL
@ComicBookGuy,
i heart this entire comment.
that is all.
carry on..
@ComicBookGuy,
You just made me swoon.
@INFJgurl,
I aim to please.
@ComicBookGuy,
Your comment made me e-swoon.
@ComicBookGuy
Aww, this was beautiful, and whatnot.
@ComicBookGuy,
i absolutely heart this. you rock.
@ComicBookGuy, – You most definitely get the award today for melting the most hearts , i too heart your whole post
What I love about my brothas:
No one can rock a bald head and goe tee like them, no matter what complextion they are
I don’t have to explain about the family picnics and why uncle Leroy acts like that, cause 9 times out of 10 he has his own uncle Leroy
And NO OTHER RACE has swaggar like my bro’s I mean he can be in a benz or a escort; a lawyer or a garbage truck driver it doesn’t matter!
@Sunshine’s back,
welcome and sh*t (i think)
@Sunshine’s back,
“No one can rock a bald head and goe tee like them, no matter what complextion they are”
I was going to same the thing because for sure, Black men do this best.
Reading the posts today have me all tingly and sh*t about my Dude. DAMMIT!!!!
I can’t get home fast enough today. I have to show him some extra RED LIGHT SPECIAL kinda love toNIGHT!!!!!!
Oh. Lawd. Geezus!!!
@SexyCool,
way to rub it in…
*curls up in fetal position and cries..
@Keisha Brown, word….
@Keisha Brown,
H#ll, girl. Your barbershop comment was the second one to really set me off.
I just told TheDude this week to tell his barber that I am his number one fan.
@SexyCool,
lol. well then since i aint gettin any – glad i can be the catalyst for others! go get yours girl! lol.
one thing i tend to notice about brothas that i think is a bit underrated is….
non-verbal communication: brothas can tell you a whole lot without mumbling a word. from their facial expressions, to their hand gestures and body language. eff a picture, a brothas stance is worth 1000 words. whether its to put his girl in her place, put his girl on her back, or briefly bond with a brotha on the street, he knows how to use his anatomy to communicate.
@Gem of the Ocean,
Aw sukey now….tell it!
@Gem of the Ocean,
he knows how to use his anatomy to communicate
and HOW!
@Gem of the Ocean,
“he knows how to use his anatomy to communicate.”
is there such a thing as a triple entendre?
@The Champ,
lol, now there is.
@Cheekie,
you already know *wink*
@Gem of the Ocean,
Most def!
@Gem of the Ocean,
YES!
My additions:
That yummy, spine tingling, gravelly voice brothas seems to hold the copyright on.
The sense and innate respect endowed by being raised by a black woman.. Be it mama, big mama, aunt kiki.. Whoever.
Knowing not to play with water.. I SAID I aint swimmin, billy.. Do NOT try to “playfully” throw me in.
Knowing when an urban brand is dead…its been my experience that nonblk men are the last to get the memo abt this type of ish. Lmao.
@JessKnowsBest,
I SAID I aint swimmin, billy.. Do NOT try to “playfully” throw me in.
PREACH!!!
@JessKnowsBest,
Knowing when an urban brand is dead…its been my experience that nonblk men are the last to get the memo abt this type of ish. Lmao.
Hilarious, yet so damn true.
@ComicBookGuy, lmao…word!
@JessKnowsBest,
Knowing when an urban brand is dead…its been my experience that nonblk men are the last to get the memo abt this type of ish. Lmao.
LOL
@JessKnowsBest,
“That yummy, spine tingling, gravelly voice brothas seems to hold the copyright on.”
Other than smell (a scent, not an odor…lol), this is probably the best thing about a man to me.
@JessKnowsBest,
Jess…all of ya’ll gone have me have my dude thinking I’ve done lost my damn mind.
his voice…oh, his voice….
shakes head…clutches pearls…
@SexyCool,
dont hurt him too good
@JessKnowsBest,
That yummy, spine tingling, gravelly voice brothas seems to hold the copyright on.
yessssss! and i love the just-woke-up brotha voice. he manages to sound sexy as hell with crust in his eye and his forehead crinkled like he is utterly perplexed. i, on the other hand, sound a damn fool upon first waking up. *smh*
@Gem of the Ocean,
That wrinkled forehead/perplexed scowl decribes my SO to the tee… hes so d@mn grumpy.. yet scrumptious… in the morning.
One of our lil songs in Its In the Morning by Robin Thicke actually.
My addition to the list:
The fact that I don’t have to explain why my hair is wrapped up at night. Seriously (because I went to a PWI with co-ed living), the perplexed looks I got from my non-brown neighbors and the questions where priceless. “What is that?”
I love that (on occasion), I can climb into bed with a scarf on and not get a side eye, 21 questions, or even a look of disgust followed by a plead to take it OFF!
@Toni C.,
“The fact that I don’t have to explain why my hair is wrapped up at night.”
Yes ma’am.
@Toni C.
Ugh, co-sign. I dated this European 2520 who couldn’t wrap his head around relaxers let alone hair wraps. I get mad from time to time thinking of how much damage I caused my hair because of him.
Here’s my few:
Black women know WHEN to run/take cover (I’m piggybackin off of #5 for this one). As men, most of us have a pretty good sense of impending danger. For black men, this awareness is pretty acute, esp. when it comes to some ninja nonsense…that tingling sensation we get when we sense some sh#t is about to go down (i.e., a potential fight, some ninjas shooting, etc.)….that feeling?? Well, many black women have that too, so they recognize when it’s time to be out (the sistas who don’t have that awareness are generally content to run/move/take cover first and ask questions later)
The caress-ability of a blk woman’s ample assets. This is one that all brothas appreciate…when we’re with you, our hands just magically gravitate towards the a$$ for a caress, pinch, squeeze, etc. It’s just our way of showing appreciation for what you were blessed with.
That glowing skin…whether you’re cafe au lait, caramel, or double fudge chocolate, there’s something delectable about a sister’s skin…on a sunny day, a beautiful sista in a sundress is straight lickable.
That is all..
@DG,
I thought it was just me with my hands on the booty. I think it’s really involuntary.
@Stank-0,
I just love the way a man can rest his hands of my lower back and then just sliiiide his hands on my booty. It’s like his hands have a personal shelf and are resting there.
@Ivyette,
“I just love the way a man can rest his hands of my lower back and then just sliiiide his hands on my booty. It’s like his hands have a personal shelf and are resting there.”
I like this comment.
@DG,
Co-sign!! on knowing that feeling of ish about to pop off. Clubbing in MIA is no joke…
and for your viewing pleasure, Kings of Comedy – Ced:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xNA-jgdXBL0
“glowing skin…..straight lickable”…I’m definitely swooning on that one.
@The Champ – love this post.
this whole post and subsequent comments makes me warm and fuzzy inside.
that is all.
@Keisha Brown, I concur the LOVE is what’s needed in the world today!
@Keisha Brown,
This was a cool post. It is really refreshing to hear the intangible things that black women love about black men. It’s kinda of a little confidence booster, at least for me it is.
@ComicBookGuy,
I agree this is a very nice post.
Being a Black woman and constantly seeing these downer articles of “research” done on Black women… it’s nice to read Black men’s comments on the wonderful things about being w/ us.
@Made In Hawaii,
EXACTLY. (#onpurposecaps)
@ComicBookGuy,
me too…
*wait..is VSB/message board my mistress (as per yesterday’s post)???
@Keisha Brown,
Could be.
Not really underrated… but my ex(es) used to get this glazed look in his eye when he was ready to JumpOnIt… therefore making me to Jump On It right back…
I’ve never mingled outside of this color line… but I know.. I love the way a black man wants his woman when he wants her… it’s pure hunger!! Mmmm
this post made me smile.
…and wish that i had a Man, dangit.
all of the things covered are what make Black Men and Women the bombest specimens on the earth. i’ve always said that the only thing more beautiful on the planet than a Black Man is a Black Woman. (no SheHateMe)
that is all.
@Muze
I’m done co-signing and Amening today,but I totally agree. All this praise of VSBs and the proper adulation of VSSs makes me wish I had a man. In due time…
4. considering the fact that (aside from prince, giancarlo esposito, and dudley moore) sistas usually don’t go for super short men with straight hair, you don’t have to worry about an angry asian man stealing your girl
Sistas up north are surprisingly short. I’ve seen more short chicks since I’ve moved to DC then I ever saw down south. I’m tempted to stay up here permanently for that reason alone.
Ouh la la, my first comment!
They understand our hair. Or at least, they kindly deal with it and I don’t think they get enough credit for it.
They always know exactly where they stand when it comes to attractiveness. There is no black man out there who wakes up at 30 to find out he’s hot or he’s not so hot. They know from day one. And that makes life easier for everyone and provides some very funny chat-up lines.
They don’t think acting/dancing ridiculously in a public place (any kind of inappropriate dancing, jugglery or clownery) with a lady they barely know is fun. Which spares a lot embarrassment in public places.
Speaking of dancing…they dance right. Brothas always dance within the limits of their dancing abilities. And that spares a lot of embarrassment.
Along the lines of charisma/aura, I’d say that black men know how to carry themselves like sexual objects, too. They seek woman’s attention (and don’t assume they’ll receive it just because they are male characters); and it evens out the seduction game out. That works well for me.
You can put on a bit of weight without them freaking out.
They have it hard, not always, not everywhere, but often. And yet, they shine.