the dream team

point guard: zoe saldana

zoe

narrowly beats out circa “mo money” stacey dash for the starting point guard spot off the strength of her performance on mtv’s punk’d four years ago (click me!). i need some feistiness and loyalty out of my floor general, and that episode proves she has more than enough heart and iwishan*ggawouldness to captain a team

shooting guard: (pre-whatever the hell she’s been publicly diagnosed with) maia campbell

maia-campbell

put it this way: there’s a reason why “trippin”, a flick which is basically what would happen if  tvone produced a soft p*rn afterschool special, is one of my favorite movies. well, that and the gratuitous nudity

small forward: (post monster’s ball, pre-baby) halle berry

halle_berry_oscars_fllintstone_hair

makes the team even though i realize that putting halle berry on any top five list in 2009 is so cliche and unimaginative that even tyler perry would be like “damn. where the hell is the freakin nuance??” if he read this.

power forward: kenya moore

kenya+moore

i’m convinced that her only purpose on earth is to show everybody how stupid atheists are because her presence is concrete proof that God exists¹

center: yaya dacosta

YaYa

although i was tempted to put the vsb’s favorite cp-3, candace parker, on the roster because it might not be a bad thing to have at least one person who can actually play basketball on your basketball team, yaya prevails…even though i’m not even 100 percent certain she’s still alive

people of vsb.com, its your turn. imagine that you and every entertainer or politician or athlete or excessively articulate black blogger from pittsburgh or whoever you’ve ever been attracted to is all of a sudden available, and pick your dream team, your all-time pop culture starting five

remember, time doesn’t matter. if you want to pick a post-brown sugar mos def, a pre-penitentiary t.i., or a pre-penitent mary magdalene, go right ahead.

the only caveat is that you have to name people that someone other than you has actually heard of, regardless of how tempted you might be to include the banging-ass border’s barista you met last week.

the carpet is yours and sh*t

¹i know. i know. i know. this statement was gayer than the easter bunny. blame it on the g-20

—the champ

  • http://fromselahwithlove.blogspot.com/ Selah

    Hmmmm…. off top? I’d go with

    1. Reggie Bush circa his USC days. – I saw him running at the Sand Dune with no shirt on and d*mn near lost my mind. smh.

    2. Robin Thicke – so he could put sing me to sleep.

    3. Will Smith while he was filming I Am Legend – I love muscles and sh*t.

    4. Gerard Butler – circa the movie 300. I love muscles and sh*t.

    5. Sanaa Lathan circa Something New – Yep, I had a girl crush on her in that movie. *shrugs*

    … but I’m sure I’ll think of some more. lol

    • shay_d_lady

      @Selah, Reggie Bush circa his USC days. – I saw him running at the Sand Dune with no shirt on and d*mn near lost my mind. smh.

      girl yes…he was XXTRA fine then….

      • http://fromselahwithlove.blogspot.com/ Selah

        @shay_d_lady,

        lol idk wut he looks like now, but that image of him then shall be burned in my brain.

        i like this post :) lol

    • http://stuffghettopeoplelike.wordpress.com Stuff Ghetto People Like

      Damn, Selah, I see you get around some ways…surprised we haven’t bumped into one another yet.

      • Selah

        @Stuff Ghetto People Like,

        what you mean I get around? Cuz I like those dudes?? lol And ONE of these days there shall be an LA VSB thing (notice I said thing cuz who knows if it’ll be a bbq or not lol)

        • http://stuffghettopeoplelike.wordpress.com Stuff Ghetto People Like

          @Selah, nah, i was referring to locales that you named off….close to familiar stomping grounds.

          Plenty decent functions coming up, sooooo….*trying not to hint too hard*

          • http://toselahwithlove.blogspot.com/ Selah

            @Stuff Ghetto People Like,

            oh, the Sand Dune? Yea that thing is pretty popular. Haven’t been in a while, seeing as how it’s too.dang.hot. lol

            functions?

    • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

      @Selah,

      “4. Gerard Butler – circa the movie 300. I love muscles and sh*t.”

      Ya know, I actually noticed him during that silly movie, Dracula 2000. I thought he was HOT even though he was smaller. Mayeb it was because I was in some weird “vamps are hot” stage from watching Buffy way back when.

      • Selah

        @Cheekie,

        I never saw that dracula movie, but I just googled it. oooo wee! lol

        p.s. vamps could get it, too. Blame Angel.

        • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

          @Selah,

          Yeah, I stanned for Angel during Buffy days. *swoon*

    • http://www.ericawatson.com Comedian Erica Watson

      @Selah, LOL! love your list! EVERY GIRL NEEDS A DREAM TEAM! My book about this topic is coming out soon! Check it out!

      http://erica-watson.blogspot.com/2009/06/dream-team-every-single-girl-needs-one.html

      • http://toselahwithlove.blogspot.com/ Selah

        @Comedian Erica Watson,

        LOL! I like that. And like I said over there, clearly I needa step my game up. smh.

      • Me fail english?

        @Comedian Erica Watson,

        Yes. And I’m stealing Derrick Rose and adding him to my team. He looks like he doesnt talk a lot. I LIKES that!

        • 8th Wonder

          @Me fail english?,

          *snicker*

  • http://thismayconcernyou.com thismayconcernyou

    “i’m convinced that her only purpose on earth is to show everybody how stupid atheists are because her presence is concrete proof that God exists.”

    @thechamp,

    smh…. While I agree with the sentiment, you should have saved this line for another moment… proposal, engagement party, wedding day… It’s that good. But then, I’m sure you’ve got another three or six up your sleeve…

    • shay_d_lady

      @thismayconcernyou, smh…. While I agree with the sentiment, you should have saved this line for another moment… proposal, engagement party, wedding day

      LOL uhhhh no..that shyt is corny and sappy as hell
      plus
      Champ has probably used it at every social event he’s been to in the last year…
      to no avail
      LOL

      • http://thismayconcernyou.com thismayconcernyou

        @shay_d_lady,

        If some man said that to you, you’d get *happy*… tell the truth. lol.

        • shay_d_lady

          @thismayconcernyou,
          nope..
          but if he was like

          my dream proposal would go like this

          shyt baby gurl….
          you know..you gotta ninja all f!cked up over here…I just be thinkin about ya and shyt all out on the block and shyt…
          f!ck it shawty, lets do this…..

          Im kidding….

          kinda…..LMAO

          • overit

            @shay_d_lady, shyt baby gurl….
            you know..you gotta ninja all f!cked up over here…I just be thinkin about ya and shyt all out on the block and shyt…
            f!ck it shawty, lets do this…..

            lmaooo, i love you shay, esp cause you aint lyin!

          • 8th Wonder

            @shay_d_lady,

            LOL I was bout to say, you KNOW you aren’t lying!

            All that’s missing from that proposal is, “F*ck witcha boy.”

          • shay_d_lady

            @8th Wonder
            All that’s missing from that proposal is, “F*ck witcha boy.”

            well you know thats how dude would have pulled me in the first place…LOL

          • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

            @shay_d_lady,

            *dead* Shay, u’ont disappoint. Methinks this proposal will rock even more if he went “Giggity Giggity” *pelvic thrust*

            That makes EVERYTHING better

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          @thismayconcernyou,

          lol, you obviously don’t know shay-d-lady. if some cat said some sh*t like that to her at the club she’d shank him and then riverdance on the corpse.

          • RedBeanzNRice w/Poak Chops

            @The Champ,
            “if some cat said some sh*t like that to her at the club she’d shank him and then riverdance on the corpse.”

            Or at least she’d say she did – right after the midget-pimp back-handed her. All love Shay, all love, LOL.

          • http://thismayconcernyou.com thismayconcernyou

            @The Champ,

            Nah, I know her well enough. My sarcasm just read like Hebrew. lol.

          • shay_d_lady

            @RedBeanzNRice w/Poak Chops
            Or at least she’d say she did – right after the midget-pimp back-handed her. All love Shay, all love, LOL.

            not so sure thats love? but hey it is a bit outlandish so I can see why its hard for some to believe…LOL but that’s my life..at least my past life in general

            oh, and it wasnt a back hand.. it was a choke out..LOL

          • shay_d_lady

            @The Champ, LOL I dont know whether to be touched that you know me so well? or pissed off that you think I’m that uncouth….
            I dont use a shank…
            its a box cutter..
            LMAO
            just kidding

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            @shay_d,

            i actually envision an eyebrow cutter being your club weapon of choice

      • http://presidentialtelevisionandfilm.ning.com Monk

        @shay_d_lady,

        I’m with thismayconcernyou. That’s a cool ass line.

      • Me fail english?

        @shay_d_lady,

        I agree on the corniness of the line. I was thinking “BOoooOOOooo.”

        • Peysonic Temple

          @Me fail english?, its cuz ur from NY. Nothing works on NYers

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            @Peysonic Temple,

            including soap

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @thismayconcernyou,

      While I agree with the sentiment, you should have saved this line for another moment… proposal, engagement party, wedding day… It’s that good.

      i actually stole it from a deleted scene on the “i got the hook up” dvd, but thanks anyway

      • Omar

        @The Champ,

        “i actually stole it from a deleted scene on the “i got the hook up” dvd, but thanks anyway’

        If this is true that line is officially tainted.

        • http://stuffghettopeoplelike.wordpress.com Stuff Ghetto People Like

          @Omar and The Champ, what would any ninja in I Got The Hook Up (character or actual actor) know about atheists?

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            @Stuff Ghetto People Like,

            because only God can judge them.

            **this was much more clever in my head**

          • Me fail english?

            @The Champ,

            What would they know, not
            why would they know…

            0-2 Champers. Long night?

      • shay_d_lady

        @The Champ, “i actually stole it from a deleted scene on the “i got the hook up” dvd, but thanks anyway’
        nuff said…

        and men just so you know (as proven by this thread) you can not determine the effectiveness of a pick up line based on other men’s opinions….LOL

    • overit

      @thismayconcernyou, i’m with shay-d, that line is corny and suspect as hell. big womp.

    • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

      @thismayconcernyou,

      “smh…. While I agree with the sentiment, you should have saved this line for another moment… proposal, engagement party, wedding day…”

      Hmm, good suggestion on the engagement/wedding tip. Ninjas take notes. Also, make sure your future wifey never read VSB. lol

      ‘Cuz that line WAS made of beautiful.

    • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

      @thismayconcernyou,

      I ain’t gon lie. iSwooned at that line a lil bit. There’s a lil corny in all of us. #ThugFail

  • shay_d_lady

    ohhh
    I dont know
    can I have a starting team and a bench?

    awww dayum….
    now I cant think of anyone

    I am going to say
    Michael Jordan in 92 (winning, relevant, and pre jaundice)
    Terrell Owens…Man that ninja body is off the CHAIN..I mean it be calling me in my sleep!!!
    Marcus Allen in his hey day-them eyes man….them eyes
    Will Smith…any time..yes even goofy flat top parents just dont understand will
    LL Cool J- radio/im bad…..man I still remember feeling like “i need love was just for me”

    honorable mention..AI at the height of his thuggedness…ohh he was so sexy…and so thug…..

    you made sure your starting line up was anti colorstruck huh? not trying to go down that road again are we…. LMAO

    • http://fromselahwithlove.blogspot.com/ Selah

      @shay_d_lady,

      TO’s body is ridick. I just need for him to stand there and NOT talk. Better yet, I’ma need for him to work out. shirtless. And not talk. lol

      • miss t-lee

        @Selah,
        Exactly. I don’t want to hear any words.
        Period. Just shut up and look good.

    • Sheffield Swats

      @shay_d_lady,
      “Michael Jordan in 92 (winning, relevant, and pre jaundice)”

      Argh. MJ grosses me out! If you saw the HOF speech (or read Jordan Rules or “When Nothing Else Matters”) I don’t know how chexing ol’ MJ is appealing. He looks like he’d be a super disrespectful lay…like he’d refuse to put out his cigar during the deed and then try to ash on your back or something. Plus he got a bad knee. No leverage. *shrugs*

      • Me fail english?

        @Sheffield Swats,

        lmao@ ashing on your back.

        I think MJ is an a*hole as well.

        • shay_d_lady

          @Me fail english?, I have come to terms with his current a$$ holish state…but come on now
          92-93 Jordan
          errrybody was singing “sometimes I feel..that he is me.”..
          ohh….
          “i wanna be wanna be like mi-ike”
          I LOVED Jordan then…

      • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G.

        @Sheffield Swats,

        Yeah. MJ just reads arse hole. The Hall of Fame speech was ridic. I say Chuck B would at least make the chex fun. But he’d prolly want you to get up and cook something after (but, then again, what man doesn’t?)

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @Sheffield Swats,

        …like he’d refuse to put out his cigar during the deed and then try to ash on your back or something…

        LOL

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @shay_d_lady,

      you made sure your starting line up was anti colorstruck huh? not trying to go down that road again are we…. LMAO

      lol, i’m just being honest and sh*t. and by “being honest” theres a chance i might mean “pandering”

      • miss t-lee

        @The Champ,

        I was thinking the same thing. Way to play it safe.

  • NayNay

    1. Idris Elba
    2. Jackie Long
    3. Post-Brown Sugar Mos Def (lol!)
    4. Common
    5. and William Demps. omg.

    Ps. Boris Kodjoe is the most obvious starter, so I didn’t put him on my list…although I def. had to mention his fine ass. lol…

    • http://fromselahwithlove.blogspot.com/ Selah

      @NayNay,

      “Post-Brown Sugar Mos Def ” — Yep Yep! he was just too cute in that movie. Skinny, but cute. lol

    • MizThickaDenThick

      @NayNay,

      Yes @ fine ass Jackie Long!! Let me fan myself

    • pe. riche.

      @NayNay,

      Will Demps is the most beautiful man. Period.

  • http://thismayconcernyou.com thismayconcernyou

    PG: Kerry Washington
    SG: Jurnee Smollet
    SF: Jill Marie Jones
    PF: Scarlett Johansson
    C: Garcelle Beauvais

    To all the fellas who crash this post, fall backFALL BACK on Kerry. I called Kerry Washington about two minutes after I came out my mother’s womb.

    • shay_d_lady

      @thismayconcernyou, so you got a lip and boob fetish?

      Its always funny to see these lists.. men always have common themes…
      like Champs list most of the girls are of slight build(excluding kenya) with exotic features..specifically the eyes..
      so he likes a little “otherness” mixed in with his…..

      but the women’s list are all over the place…..

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @shay_d_lady,

        i was about to say something about the prominent lips as well.

        btw, there are other thicker women i could have named (ie bria myles, esther baxter, and pre boob job caramel) but they’re all relatively obscure video chicks, strippers, and p*rn stars.

        i saved that list for my other blog, verysmartbrothas
        whodontcareaboutgettingbannedfromworkplaces.com

      • http://thismayconcernyou.com thismayconcernyou

        @shay_d_lady,

        The funny thing about my list is that Scarlett is probably the thickest one on it…

        The “fetish” is more lips and eyes… Most of the women I listed have great sets of both…

        • Sula

          @thismayconcernyou,

          The “fetish” is more lips and eyes…
          …and boobs. :)

    • http://blkbond.blogspot.com BlkBond

      @thismayconcernyou,

      your PG and PF are on my current list of “stay-single-until-I’m-rich” picks. Yeah…

      Yeah (**licks lips**)

      Bond. BlkBond.

  • http://nianaturally.blogspot.com insomN.I.A.

    The Starting Line Up…
    Starting at point guard, coming in at 6’2, Thierry “I play real football” Henry
    Starting at shooting guard, coming in at 6’2, Idris “The British Knight” Elba
    Starting at Small Forward, coming in at 6’3 Clifford “Method Man” Smith!!
    Starting at power forward, coming in at 6’1, Denzel “KingKongAintGotNothingOnMe” Washington
    and……………..
    Starting at center(posthumously), coming in at a whopping 6 feet 16inches, Tupac “Thug Life” Shakur.–I had to put Pac in the starting 5. it’s crazy, but Pac was my first real celebrity crush…or at least he was the first celebrity I thought about when I first started pastorstating. I had every intention of allowing Pac to deflower me 3 ways once I got to college. I made it to college, Fall 2000…Pac didn’t make it to 2000. Damn you Suge!!!!and if you’re reading this, Suge, I don’t really think you had anything to do with Pac’s death. Really. I love you, Suge.

    • shay_d_lady

      @insomN.I.A., Starting at center(posthumously), coming in at a whopping 6 feet 16inches, Tupac “Thug Life” Shakur.–I had to put Pac in the starting 5. it’s crazy, but Pac was my first real celebrity crush…or at least he was the first celebrity I thought about when I first started pastorstating. I had every intention of allowing Pac to deflower me 3 ways once I got to college. I made it to college, Fall 2000…Pac didn’t make it to 2000

      I LUV 2 pac…girl….he died the fall of my freshman year.. I had the same plans you had..and then he died and had to settle for some lame a$$ dude with the new jordans…LOL

    • http://blkbond.blogspot.com BlkBond

      @insomN.I.A.,

      I think you gave Pac an extra foot, lol

      Bond.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @BlkBond,

        lol, she did

    • Me fail english?

      @insomN.I.A.,

      LMAO @ that last part. Pac still makes me kinda….

      Damn you Suge!!! Sorry, Suge. I play too much. Don’t hurt me.

    • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

      @insomN.I.A.,

      WORD on Tupac. It wasn’t just the looks, it was THE VOICE (a good voice puts a nicca into the 10 range for moi). He had, arguably, the best rappin’ voice of all time. SEXAY!

      Sug done (allegedly) kept us from some primetime ogling.

    • NiazDad, enjoying the sandbox..

      @insomN.I.A., I really didn’t expect to see Thierry Henry on someone’s list…good choice..No homo…just saying i can appreicate a good footballer…

  • Sheffield Swats

    This is MY list, dagnammit. No apologies. That being said, I’ve never been able to rock with the Boris Kodjoe’s of the world. Zzzzz. I need quirks. Thus….

    5. Carmelo Anthony–That smile. Been plotting on him since he got legal. *Sigh*

    4. Nelson Mandela–For one, I know Winnie wasn’t hitting that right. Secondly, he got principals and sh*t. Plus we’d have lots of stuff to talk about after, before and during.

    3. Malice (of the Clipse)–So tormented. How many rappers can pull of this verse http://www.lyricstime.com/clipse-i-m-not-you-lyrics.html and a guest spot on Mary Mary’s remix to “The God In Me”?

    2. Paul Newman, circa “Cat On A Hot Tin Roof” and “The Hustler”. Blue eyes & Oscar-calibar talent? Winner.

    1. Jim Brown. Yes, I saw the Spike documentary. As any female fan of rap music would argue, “he wouldn’t do/say that to ME”. Plus, if you saw how he tore down Raquel Welch, well you know why he’s ranked this high.

    • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

      @Sheffield Swats,

      Nelson Mandela???? O____O

      • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

        @Luvvie,

        Ok, that face cracked me up.

        And yeah…um…lustin’ after Nelson Mandela would make me feel some kinda way…

    • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

      @Sheffield Swats,

      Oooh, yeah Paul Newman was dreamy. Those eyes could pierce right through me.

      • miss t-lee

        @Cheekie,
        Especially in Cool Hand Luke.
        Yum.

    • Sula

      @Sheffield Swats,

      4. Nelson Mandela–For one, I know Winnie wasn’t hitting that right. Secondly, he got principals and sh*t. Plus we’d have lots of stuff to talk about after, before and during.

      I have to give you props just for that paragraph! :lol:

  • shay_d_lady

    I am also watching the bobby brown behind the music and I must say that for about a 2 year stretch of time.. I thought bobby brown was pretty hot …..
    *singing* the truth about a roni……

  • Omar

    PG: Tankia Ray
    SG: Nia Long
    C: Elise Neal
    PF: Erykah Badu, primarily because of her apparent supernatural abilities…
    SF: Dania Ramirez

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @Omar,

      PF: Erykah Badu, primarily because of her apparent supernatural abilities…

      i actually thought about adding her to the team, just for the volatile chemistry aspect. she’d either be rodman on the 98 bulls or artest on the 2004 pacers, no inbetween

      • Sheffield Swats

        @The Champ, Does that mean Lauryn Hill = JR Rider?

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          @Sheffield Swats,

          lol, actually l-boogie might be more vin baker

    • NiazDad, enjoying the sandbox..

      @Omar, Major co-signage on the SF…Smoking!!! Loved me some Heroes!!!

  • Maximillian

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCR85u9QngQ for effect…

    Annnnnd now… the starting lineup… for YOUR Maximillians!

    At Small Forward, from Cleveland, Ohio, Halle Berry!
    At Power Forward, from Miami, Florida, Esther Baxter!
    The girl, in the middle, from London, England, Naomi Campbell! (pre slap-a-ho days)
    At Point Guard, from SouthEast DC, Taraji Henson!
    From North Carolina New York City, Shooting Guard, Sanaa Lathan!

    They’re the best I never had…

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @Maximillian,

      your frontcourt is serious, especially the forwards