playing the dozens: the 12 best hip-hop videos of all-time

***in no particular order***

1. “today was a good day”, ice cube (directed by f. gary gray)


***”today…” makes the cut for its matter of fact realness and simplicity, despite the fact that there’s no way in hell that o’shea’s 5’3 ass earned a “triple double” anywhere other than a seven foot nerf hoop***

2. “shadowboxin/4th chamber”, method man, rza, gza, ghostface killa, killah priest (directed by gza)

***easily my favorite video of all-time, and, in my opinion, the second best hip-hop vid ever made. if i had to rank em, “stan” would be 1st, “4th chamber/shadowboxing” would be 2nd, and “gravel pit” would be 2522nd***

3. “passin me by”, pharcyde

***the vid that served as the “how to pursue unproportionately attractive women, get played by them, then lament the entire female species” template for thousands of impressionable male hip-hop fans around the country. strangely, at least 37 percent of them ended up pledging kappa***

4. “stan”, eminem (directed by phil atwell and dr. dre)

***if you found dido extremely attractive in this vid, does that mean you have a thing for brits or pregnant chicks? nevermind, don’t answer that question***

5. “retrospect for life”, common sense and lauryn hill (directed by lauryn hill)

***the main reason why common’s banned from planned parenthood’s around the country***

6. “sky is the limit”, notorious b.i.g. and 112 (directed by spike jonze)

***would have rivaled “stan” as the best video of all-time if they included a scene with the kid biggie catching the kid faith and the kid tupac taking shots of louie off the stomach of the kid charlie baltimore***

7. “scenario”, a tribe called quest featuring leaders of the new school (directed by jim swaffield)

***my older sister cried when q-tip got got at the beginning of “poetic justice”. i didn’t.***

8. “dangerous”, busta rhymes (directed by hype williams)

***i’ve never smoked weed before. but, if i ever do, i want to smoke the sh*t hype and busta were obviously on when they thought up this video***

9. “the rain”, missy elliot, (directed by hype williams)

***along with mailboxes, cat litter, raw salmon, and camilla parker bowles, the image of missy in this video is what i think about during sex if i’m getting too excited and need something drastic to unexcite me***

10. “street dreams”, nas (directed by hype williams)

***was i the only one who had friends so dumb that they swore “casino” was inspired by the “street dreams” vid and not the other way around?***

11. “da crossroads”, bone thugs n harmony (directed by michael martin)

***i dont know what’s more amazing: how popular bone thugs n harmony were in the mid-90′s, the fact that millions of men across the county openly stanned for a group featuring four singing ass n*ggas with hair like sallie richardson in “posse”, or how unbelievably quickly they fell off***

12. “shake it fast”, mystical (directed by little x)

***insert perfunctory joke about mystical, shaking it fast, and prison showers***

although i know i’m right, i’m still contractually obligated to ask: did i miss anything?

—the champ

294 thoughts on “playing the dozens: the 12 best hip-hop videos of all-time

  1. Ok, “Scenario” is still to this day my shiznit! But you forgot about Pete Rock and CL Smooth – “They Reminisce Over You” and Busta’s “Woo Hah – Got You All in Check”

    • @RedBeanzNRice w/Neckbones, I am more of a fan of Busta’s put ya hands where ya eyes can see..
      Thats my shyt!!!! or
      What its gonna be with him and Janet….

    • @RedBeanzNRice w/Neckbones, I actually think that the song for “T.R.O.Y.” is better than the video. I feel that same way about Ice Cube’s “Today Was A Good Day”. “Check Yo Self” was a much better video.

    • @RedBeanzNRice w/Neckbones,

      i went to hip-hop karaoke one night at the knitting factory in nyc one night and saw a dude perform scenario remix all by himself, he knew every.single.word.for.everyone’s.verse. it was hilarious and admirable simultaneously

      …i’ll also have you know that upon entrance to this festivity there was a white girl on stage performing “ms. fat booty” oh the irony.

      • @Carver The Great!,
        “there was a white girl on stage performing “ms. fat booty” oh the irony.”

        That’s hilarious! She musta thought she was Coco. ;)

        • @RedBeanzNRice w/Neckbones,

          That’s hilarious! She musta thought she was Coco. ;)

          if thats the case, the title should have been “ms surgically enhanced booty thats only really phat she bends over or when you look at it through a fish eye lens”

  2. Champ, you say it ain’t weed, but ya gots to be smokin on sumthin… or at least when you came up with this list and cross ranking. i’ma let it marinate before offering a few alternate selections.

    I will grant you that Busta-bus & Missy always have the hottest vids…

  3. Nice choices. I was just listening to 4th Chamber!

    I think the Pharcyde’s “Drop” video(also directed by Spike Jonze) was better than Passing Me By, for the simple fact that the whole thing was shot backwards…Although Passing Me By was the much better song.

    Also, I always liked the beginning of Wu-Tang’s “Triumph” video, mainly due to Inspectah Deck rhyming on the side of the building like Spider Man. The rest of the video is kind of overdone, but the beginning is great! “I bomb atomically. Socrates’ philosophies and hypotheses can’t define how I be droppin’ these mockeries. Lyrically perform armed robberies. Flee with the lottery. Possibly they spotted me” LOL

    • @ListenToLeon, I agree with you on “Drop”. Champ and I had that convo b/c I think as a video, “Drop” was totally dope, but “Passin’ Me By” is the far better song.

      Also, ain’t it amazing how Inspectah Deck’s entire career at this point can be defined by that one verse, possibly one of the best verses in hiphop history?

      Seriously, does anybody give a sh*t about anything else he’s done aside from his world famous, “…to kick the truth, to the young black youth…” off of “C.R.E.A.M.”???

      • @Panama Jackson,

        Seriously, does anybody give a sh*t about anything else he’s done aside from his world famous, “…to kick the truth, to the young black youth…” off of “C.R.E.A.M.”???

        you know whats funny? despite the fact that he’s had an ho-hum solo career, hes responsible for the best and most memorable verse in wu’s three most popular songs. “triumph”, “wu-tang clan aint nuthin to f*ck with”, and “c.r.e.a.m.”.

        i can’t think 0f any analogies to make with that

    • @ListenToLeon,

      Also, I always liked the beginning of Wu-Tang’s “Triumph” video, mainly due to Inspectah Deck rhyming on the side of the building like Spider Man. The rest of the video is kind of overdone, but the beginning is great!

      this is definitely true

      with the drop video, put it in the same boat as “99 problems”…vids that were trying a bit too hard to be too creative.

    • @Monk,

      i did some research on the vid before i posted it that downplayed that myth. i guess because he was actually in the video, people assumed he directed it as well

  4. hmmmm… I actually DON’T disagree with you Champ. I had to step back from thinking about the top hip hop SONGS and think about the Vids.

    But you missed
    Busta Rhymes- Put Your Hands Where My Eyes Can See.

    I only say that because I love Coming to America so much and this vid cracked me UP. Maybe its in the top 15?

  5. ***if i were ranking these,… “make em say uhh” would be 321st***

    lmao

    Oh and I would add Dre’s Nothin But A G Thang to the list.

    • @Neenay,

      ***if i were ranking these,… “make em say uhh” would be 321st***

      lmao

      lol, just so everyone doesn’t think neenay is nuts, she’s referring to a comment i wrote in the entry before i edited it out

      welcome and sh*t (i think), btw

  6. Man you gotta have “ill be that” by Redman..
    I mean the scene where that chick hits the car in that bicycle still makes me cry laughing till this day….

  7. Don’t really have an opinion on the videos [except to co-sign that Busta and Missy's videos were always dope].

    However, I must say that I just listened to Missy’s The Rain and realized that I’ve never been so confused in my life. I just realized that she’s not talking about a DAMN thing yet that song’s raw as hell LOL

      • @Panama Jackson, “if you listen to most of Missy’s songs you’ll realize that she’s not talking about jack sh*t. she specializes in interesting nothingness.”

        lol. This is very true.

      • @Panama Jackson,

        “she specializes in interesting nothingness.”

        Oooh, perfect! This should be the definition of her name in Websters:

        Missy “Misdemeanor” Elliot. n. – she who specializes in interesting nothingness.

  8. Hey, y’all.

    @Champ: Good picks. I love “Retrospect for Life”.

    Not sure these would be considered the dopest but other hip-hop videos I liked are (in no particular order):

    1. ODB’s “I Got Cha Money”
    2. #1 made me think of Jay-Z’s “Who You Wit” Sidebar: Loved Sprung when I was in college. Remember that movie? LOL.
    3. Tupac & Dre’s “California Love”
    4. Snoop’s “Who Am I”
    5. Outkast’s “Hey Ya”
    6. DMX’s “Ruff Ryder’s Anthem” or “What’s My Name”…don’t judge me. ;-)
    7. Fugees’ “Ready Or Not”
    8. Lil Kim’s “Crush on You”
    9. The Firm’s “Phone Tap”
    10. Junior Mafia’s “Get Money”

    • @Shawnta`, I love DMX.., pre all the way crackhead DMX and i was trying to think of that little kim joint.. Crush on y ou was a hawt video
      I also liked Ghetto Boys my minds playing tricks on you

      • @Omar, it would be on of mine but that’s when L-Boogie had lil boobies. i hated that shirt she had on.

        yes that ruined the video for me.

        actually, i’m thinking of fu-ge-la. i mean she still had lil boobies, but they weren’t on display so much. two thumbs up.

    • @Shawnta`,

      these are all good choices and sh*t, especially “get money”.

      actually, to be honest, i remember being highly disappointed by the ready or not video. just seemed over produced to me

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