The Differences Between Northern Blacks And Southern Blacks » VSB

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The Differences Between Northern Blacks And Southern Blacks

If you can guess where this pic was taken, I'll give you...nothing. Because it's an easy f*cking answer

If you can guess where this pic was taken, I’ll give you…nothing. Because it’s an easy f*cking answer

(A timely blast from the VSB past. Happy Friday.) 

Question of the day: Aside from accents and the always hilarious soda vs pop battle (it’s #teampop all the way, bitch), are there any other behaviors, characteristics, and mores separating Blacks from the north and Blacks from the south?

(Oh, and just to be clear, although the south technically starts once you pass the Mason-Dixon line, I’m going to throw the entire DMV — well, the entire DMV except for the backwoods of Virginia where they breed 400 pound rottweilers and things named “Marcus Vick“ — in with the north.)

This is (obviously) a rhetorical question. Why? Well, OF COURSE there are intraracial regional differences. The only thing left is what I plan to do today — determine exactly what these differences are.

Oh, and before I continue, there’s a couple things I want to add:

1. This “determination” will be completely anecdotal. I’ve done no studies, surveyed no people, and slept with no cousins to understand what it’s like to be from Mississippi. These are just observations I’ve made, that’s all.

2. I realize that limiting this to northern and southern Blacks leaves out midwestern Blacks, west coast Blacks, northwestern Blacks, and n*ggas from Youngstown. If you’re a member of one of those neglected populations, please feel free to add your own observations in the comments.

Anyway, let’s begin.

Southern Blacks are more likely to…

…attend HBCUs, be Greek, attend church, be Baptist, have stupid-ass names that are hybrid combinations of other names (i.e.: “DeLadariusray Jenkins”), get married at a younger age, get married at all, buy expensive American cars, buy cheap-ass American cars and put $35,000 worth of added expense in them, know their fathers, hate White people but date and/or marry interracially, be killed by White rednecks, coordinate outfits, have happier, more fulfilling lives, eat everything on a pig except its eyeballs and anus, buy Steve Harvey books, look like Steve Harvey, be colorstruck and not realize that being colorstruck is a bad thing, breed better women, rock braids/cornrows/locks (the men, at least), be provincial, be socially conservative, be unpretentious, have children, and be generally better people.

On the other hand, northern Blacks seem to be more likely to…

…attend PWIs, scoff at HBCUs while secretly wishing they had decided to attend one instead of paying 75 grand a year to attend some bullsh*t liberal arts college in Poughkeepsie, New York, be anything (Muslim, Jewish, Atheist, Laker Fan, etc) but Christian, be smart, have stupid-ass names that have absolutely no connection to anything remotely human name sounding (i.e. “Powerful Godbody Jenkins”), convince themselves that they’ve willingly chosen to stay single, buy European, be cool with white people even though they’d never actually date one, be militant, get killed by white rednecks with billy-clubs and badges, not be decedents of American slaves, rock ceasers, coordinate furniture, have better, more fulfilling lives…on paper, be more worried about how they’re perceivedread Hill Harper books, look like Hill Harper, look like someone who’d date someone who looked like Hill Harper, abstain from pork for no apparent reason, be staunchly liberal and close-minded at the exact same time, be somewhat lame, but migrate to the south and be the sh*t down there, be professional and promiscuous, live generally “better” lives.

Did I miss anything?

—Damon Young (aka “The Champ”)

Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a columnist for GQ.com And he's working on a book of essays to be published by Ecco (HarperCollins). Damon is busy. He lives in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes. Reach him at damon@verysmartbrothas.com. Or don't. Whatever.

  • I know some northerners, have some of their characteristics, consider myself a mid-westerner, agree that some “good” women are from the south, know that some “bad” women come from the south, never read a Hill Harper book, wouldn’t date Hill Harper, have slave blood in my lineage, like them low cut ceasers with the deep waves, i dont have a crazy name, I am single…because he dumped me, wouldnt date a whit guy but hung out with some, hate what the red necks with billy clus are doing to our men, Im smart, have an open mind, and love long walks on the beach.

    any questions?

    (loved the post!)

    • Ashlee

      “like them low cut ceasers with the deep waves” Yessssss keep that hard wood brush in yo pocket to keep the waves spinning throughout the day

  • Ms Butterfly

    **Raises hand wildly*+

    Ooh! Ooh! Do west coast blacks, Champ! Do west coast blacks!

    • Chris Streetz Poet Bright

      Im curious about the midwest too lol

      • IcePrincess

        Midwest stand up! #eastsaint

    • IcePrincess

      Cali dudes pronounce “car” like “core” lmfaoooo!

      • miss t-lee

        They swear they have no accent #doe.

      • TheInvisibleEnigma

        Going to LA was one of my favorite trips because they actually talk like they do in the movies. My boy was talkin bout some “this fool,” “this buster,” “this mark…” I felt like it was real-life Friday or Boyz n the Hood.

    • “Ooh! Ooh! Do west coast blacks, Champ! Do west coast blacks!”

      Uh…that’s what she said?

  • Andrea

    I am a northern Black made out of the southern black migration. Maybe that is another category. So as my southern grandma would say…’I’m a little mixed up in the head’. I NEVER wanted to go to a HBCU. I did because my parents made me. But now i AM so GLAD I did. I was named after my Southern grandpa…Andrew? I don’t want to be single. But I like me some German engineering. The white rednecks with badges did murk my sis. The slaves who gave me life are my spiritual guides. I like coordinating a lot. A lot of things. I can’t finish a whole hill harper book. But I stay trying. I do date Hill Harper types. I may have actually dated Hill Harper. I’m down with like bacon
    and ribs, that thing my grandma does with ears….no. Trotters….no. no.

  • Andrea

    #SNEAKERS

  • Sahel

    How does one breed better women….

    • ratchet d-Ibaka

      Excuse us?!

      • Sahel

        You are excused

  • Jay Ess

    Lemme join in on the Funday Friday foolishness. #alliterationfordawin

    I’m a proud Northern boy who has a good mix of Southern qualities, according to other people. Then again, And some of my best friends are from the South, so that could lend some influence. Also, my family’s from the Caribbean and the South tends to share some similarities with the Caribbean. (The similarities are subconscious and scary, actually. I found myself standing in his signature pose earlier. Smh)

    Southern qualities:
    I tend to find my life fulfilling and that’s by choice of what I do (or choose not to) and I try to be considerate of other people’s feelings, which I hope makes me a good person. As a Christian, I don’t like pretentiousness, and I know my dad because I think about him every other day, when I realize I’m turning into him.

    Northern ish:
    That’s about it as far as those Southern qualities doe (yeh I said “doe” even though I’m a proud Northerner)

    -PWI? Yep and it was a liberal arts school. Proud of it too, but not in a way that devalues any other institution or institution groups

    -I actually did choose that singledom, until wifey came along bout 8 mos ago

    -Def not a descendant of American slaves. Lick up shots fi di yahd bwoy dem. J-A!

    -Yeah, I never banged with pork, simply cuz Dad didn’t like it. And he had no religious-based disdain for it. He just got really sick from it once and decided that he no longer flucked with the swine.

    -I was called staunchly liberal by my southern girlfriend even though I felt that I was socially conservative. That conservative mentality may be eroding though, as I’m supposed to go to a lesbian wedding early next week…for the friends of my “conservative” gf. (That was probably more confusing to type, than to read. TL;DR- I thought I was socially conservative but I’m going to the lesbian wedding of one of my gf’s friends.)

    • LMNOP

      “-PWI? Yep and it was a liberal arts school. Proud of it too, but not in a way that devalues any other institution or institution groups”

      this sentence has me ctfu.

  • DG

    Good lists, folk…

    Everything you need to know about a person’s roots can be gleaned by 1) what s/he likes to eat for breakfast; 2) what toppings/condiments are used for said breakfast; and 3) where a person would prefer to eat said breakfast.

    Southern folk: Grits w/ butter; fried fish; shrimp (for my Low country folk); pork everything
    Northern folk: Cream of wheat/oatmeal; home fries; scrapple (whatever this is…); turkey subbed for pork anything; ackee and salt fish (for my WI massive folks)

    Southern folk: Cheese w/ grits; ketchup w/ scrambled eggs; syrup/jelly with croquettes; etc.
    Northern folks: Honestly, I don’t know what ya’ll put on stuff…I know ya’ll be f**king up grits whenever ya’ll try to cook ’em, tho.

    Southern folk: Waffle House (the standard); Cracker Barrel (2nd option); Huddle House (if you’re desperate); Krispy Kreme (hot glz’d in the a.m…breakfast is anything after midnight in my book); Local spots unique to your city; the house
    Northern folk: Starbucks; Dunkin’ Donuts; Spots that serve brunch; Local spots unique to your city

    • Geneva Girl

      Don’t diss the scrapple! It’s a Pennsylvania thing and you do NOT want to know what’s in it. As soon as I get back to the States I run to a diner and get a big American breakfast with scrapple! (Just once because I know what’s in scrapple and it will likely kill me.)

      • Chris Streetz Poet Bright

        From Chicago…what is “scrapple”?

        • It is this pork-based breakfast food. Think souse meat, but pressed into a shape. Not my thing, but it’s the official breakfast food of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, and EVERY place that serves breakfast in the state and is not vegetarian will serve it. Though some spots in Philly might have soy scrapple, and I’m only half-joking. :)

          EDIT: After a Google search out of curiosity, vegan scrapple is indeed a thing: http://www.whatisscrapple.com/vegan-scrapple-is-most-definitely-a-thing-that-exists

          • Chris Streetz Poet Bright

            Wow…thanks for the info lol

          • gagurlinmd

            souse meat…whoa…I never thought I would see a reference to souse meat outside of my grandmother and great-aunts’ kitchens…VSB never ceases to amaze me

          • DanceHallKing

            Most breakfast joints in black neighborhoods in Philadelphia have turkey and/or beef scrapple.

            • Really now? I may have to give it a shot if I’m ever down that way around breakfast time. *takes notes*

          • DoinMe

            From your link: “What is Scrapple? You take the pig and make bacon, ham, pork and so on. What do you do with all the left over pig scraps? You boil ’em, chop ’em up and turn them all into a mush. That mush is combined with some pork stock and grains and then allowed to thicken into a loaf. You typically slice off about a 1/4” piece of the loaf and cook it in a pan so it’s crispy on
            both sides. And that, my friends, is scrapple. Watch this 5-minute video presentation for a bit more scrapple detail.

            Oh HELL NAW! That doesn’t sound edible or like it should be legal.

      • Denise Johnson

        Waymint…scrapple was sold as a loaf @ Kroger in Ohio and its called “goetta.” I deliberately forgot what’s in it so I can still occasionally grub on it.

    • Um, ackee and saltfish is for dinner my dude. Try porridge for breakfast, though, and you’ve got the Windie breakfast hooked up. Bonus points for Milo. :)

      Oh, and why do you sleep on IHOP? IHOP is the ish man! Though I do make a point to track down a Waffle House once I get south of the Mason Dixon…and also where I feel more self-consciously Northerner. LOL

      • IcePrincess

        Yup IHOP is good. I always get the steak tips & eggs. However, I despise Denny’s!

        • PunchDrunkLove

          I ALWAYS thought “yuck” to steak and eggs….until recently. A friend and I were dining at IHOP twisted my arm into sampling. Delish!!

      • Um

        As a Jamaican, I can tell u straight up that ackee & salt fish is eaten for breakfast and dinner. At breakfast u have fried dumplings or breadfruit. At dinner u have ur “food” on the side. “Food” in JAM means boiled dumpling, banana, yam…

        • Mmmm…now I’m hungry

          • PunchDrunkLove

            Me too….and I just ate :) Salmon croquettes, cheese grits, toast w/apple butter, scrambled eggs (maybe…somehow, I can’t eat salmon and eggs together), hot coffee!! Yuuuum

      • DG

        Love me some IHOP, but Waffle House is fairly ubiquitous throughout the South. Even for folks that don’t fool with WH like that, they can tell you where the nearest one is (i.e., usually located near an interstate). Every southern city doesn’t have an IHOP, tho.

        • Just be careful at the Waffle House or IHOPS in Orangeburg.. cause breakfast and love is a battle field.

          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-rBD-LRJjM?

          • Asa AoneBest Gillyard

            OH! Don’t you do that! This is is soooo old :) I went to college in OB (NOT State) around the time this happened. Man oh Man story spread within the hour

            • I was writing my thesis in college and the library at State has some material I needed so I drove up to make copies. On the way back I stopped to get gas and the two “girls” behind the counter asked me “How many baby mamas I had.”

              Considering I grew up 45 minutes from Orangeburg I’ve felt some kind of away about the place every since then.

        • Just be careful at the Waffle House or IHOPS in Orangeburg.. cause breakfast and love is a battle field.

        • PunchDrunkLove

          Ain’t but one WH location where I’m willing in ingest…lol It’s new, and in the booghie neighborhood. Like someone dropped it there when the snooty folks weren’t looking…lol And it stays busy.

        • Lea Thrace

          My dude, WaHo is located on every dang corner tho. And if you are brave enough to venture in there, understand that you will come out smelling like what I like to call “The Stench”. No matter which one you go into.

          “The Stench” is a mixture of cigarettes, mildew, old syrup, and despair.

      • Kema

        Cornmeal porridge! Yum!

        • Val

          What the…..? Sounds like something cartoon characters eat. Lol

        • GoldenSangrai

          Yess!!! #heavenly

      • Tee

        Ackee & Saltfish is actually a breakfast dish–that is also eaten at dinner time

    • Up here ppl are really keen on sweet sh t for breakfast, guess i have some southern in me cuz I’m about that cheese life

    • “Southern folk: Grits w/ butter; fried fish; shrimp (for my Low country folk)” <—– any of this plus some soft legs makes for the best Sunday morning evahhhh!

      I'm more of a liver pudding king of a guy and please don't forget about biscuits and gravy, or biscuits with syrup (maple or cane).

      • miss t-lee

        Biscuits and gravy. Forever a fave.

        • IcePrincess

          Made it the other day!

          • miss t-lee

            Homemade biscuits? Go girl.

            • IcePrincess

              Lol. Nah gurl, I can’t take credit for that. TBH the biscuits were bought, but the sausage gravy was from scratch!

              • miss t-lee

                well, it’s still go girl…lol

        • Epsilonicus

          Nothing like a biscuits and gravy breakfast.

          • Rawtid

            never had it

          • miss t-lee

            Nothing!

        • I think I’m going to do a batch for breakfast on Sunday.

          • miss t-lee

            me too after this convo…lol

      • DG

        I thought about mentioning pudding and souse, but I feared getting too regionally specific with the list…

        Biscuits w/ syrup all day here, folk.

      • Val

        *wonders if liver pudding is some kind of Southern foie gras?*

        • It kind of similar, yes.

          • Denise Johnson

            ?????

      • Denise Johnson

        Liver pudding????

    • Rawtid

      generally agree with this except i felt the ackee and saltfish was a random add–only bc i think it has little/nothing to do with being “northern” and mostly bc either you or someone you know is Caribbean.

      Lol im trying to stay out of this food discussion bc I’m a Jamaican raised in DMV—but i ate very little American food growing up so i either don’t know what 90% of this stuff is or have never had it.

      Never had:
      -grits
      -scrappl (idk what this is–heard it was the left over parts of a pig?? idk. never seen it before)
      -ummm croquettes?
      -cracker barrel
      – countless other “black” foods

      Just had waffle house for the first time 2 summers ago and it was good!!

      • miss t-lee

        Croquettes are love. Still can’t get mine as good as my Mom used to make them #doe.

        • Rawtid

          ill have to look into it!

        • afronica

          My grandma’s croquettes! Whoo! *tearing up a li’l*

          • miss t-lee

            I understand chick. *hugs*

      • DG

        generally agree with this except i felt the ackee and saltfish was a random add–only bc i think it has little/nothing to do with being “northern”

        Eh, not so much random as it is an acknowledgement of where most WI historically settled in this country (i.e., NY/NJ, DC, Philly). Someone not of Caribbean descent living in these areas has likely heard of (if not tried) dishes like these, whereas many Southern folks still were never exposed to the culture like that. Outside of S. Florida, WI aren’t as populous in the south as they are farther north.

        • Rawtid

          not quite true but i get your point

    • TheInvisibleEnigma

      I have been trying for years to make a bowl of cream of wheat as good as my dad’s and it is not happening.

      • dmcmillian72

        Cream of Wheat is the BUSINESS!!!

    • Val

      Cracker Barrel though.

      • Medium Meech

        Don’t sleep on Cracker Barrel

        • Tiana

          Yes, but speaking of sleep…I made the mistake of stopping for breakfast at Crack Barrel before heading into the office yesterday…total mistake. I was in a food coma all day…nodded off and nearly fell out of my chair.

        • Val

          Well, the name kind of says something. Like, Black folks might want to avoid the place.

          • SuperStrings

            Funny the Cracker Barrel in Douglasville (outside Atlanta) had an incident about two years ago

            • Val

              And remember Chris Rock’s mom had an incident there as well a few years back. In South Carolina I think.

    • Tiana

      Agreed…except for the breakfast spots part – I’ll take Waffle House and Cracker Barrel over Starbucks and Dunkin’ Donuts any day. And I’m from the North.

    • @disqus_9W6nyV3Tvf:disqus Aren’t you from Augusta? I just saw that “Trooper” Terry Sams died.

  • ratchet d-Ibaka

    Give me a Southern gent over a
    northerner any fucking given time! The southerners are well bred! The latter need divine intervention.

    • Msdebbs

      What part of the south is that??

      • ratchet d-Ibaka

        I want a Carolina’s born and bred boy!

        • Msdebbs

          Oh okay cause these Florida Ninjas be on some other siht

          • Sahel

            Curious,which state has the best men then

            • Msdebbs

              idk but lemme know when you find out…

              • Sahel

                Oh,that was slick haha.

            • IcePrincess

              Atlanta, GA & da whole Florida. Every ninja from FL I’ve slept wit has been OFFICIAL wit it! That’s why Plies is my secret crush. Anyone who talks THAT much sh*t, you jus KNO he can back it up!!

              • Sahel

                You slept with an entire state,wow

            • Sandpaper

              Alabama

          • IcePrincess

            Chile, you kno good & well FL ain’t part of the south. It’s its own country or something lol

            • We Floridians are a sovereign nation unto ourselves. It explains why our laws are so crazy.

    • Sahel

      Is this about that odd debate that once raged on here about men from the south still opening doors and paying for dates thing

      • ratchet d-Ibaka

        No, it goes beyond that.

        • Sahel

          Am all ears sheila

          • ratchet d-Ibaka

            Who is Sheila? One of your botswanian baby mamas?!

            • Sahel

              What’s with you and botswana..it’s a desert for goodness sake

              • ratchet d-Ibaka

                Your point? People live there! In my mind you are from
                Botswana. In any case, what is it with you and your againstness of it?

                • Sahel

                  Am stateless

      • LMNOP

        Wait. Men from the north don’t pay for dates?

    • In that case, HAIL SATAN! :)

    • Nah

    • Don’t get your hopes up… *Muttley snicker*

  • minxbrie

    Yeah, I’m from Canada…
    But I’m a little obsessed with the idea of moving to Atlanta.

    • Sahel

      As long as you can jog in slow motion and you look good in sweats with no make up on. You can survive the ATL

      • minxbrie

        I just want to be in Monica Wilson’s class.

        • Sahel

          It is a good ambition.

      • *cues “Don’t Believe The Hype” by Public Enemy*

    • SuperStrings

      Come on down.

    • Medium Meech

      I’m pretty sure Canada is technically the Midwest. Don’t question this.

      • minxbrie

        Nope.
        I don’t think I’ve felt this insulted since someone told me I sound like a little white girl from the suburbs.

  • cryssi

    Lmbo… I’m a mix I guess. Born and raised in Detroit, yet i posess traits from the south and north. Parents are from the south, so maybe that’s a factor. Still have a brother born and raised and still lives in Mississippi. I have no problem with white people, I do harbor a minor hatred of them, yet I still would never ever date one. I am stiffly Christian with some liberal leanings. I’m just one big hodge podge of blackness.

    • SuperStrings

      Cass Tech green and white baby! Sorry I had to say that.

      • cryssi

        Hahahahaha, King Crusaders Black and Gold.

        • Medium Meech

          Renaissance! Wait, are we just yelling random Detroi public schools or na?

          • cryssi

            I went to King lol, I can’t speak for you two.

          • SuperStrings

            Man I was wide open for a girl that went to Renaissance. Actually, she’s still super fly.

        • SuperStrings

          I used to live up the street from King, but I went to Cass. Do you know what it was like catching the bus home with my football uniform? lol I got love for King though.

          • cryssi

            Lol, and I lived on the deep west side. I loved the King/Cass games. Sometimes I miss parts of high school.

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