Today, I’d like to discuss the concept of wasted time management and how it’s viewed differently by men and women. But first…
…we must dance.
Let me set up a scenario (and folks who follow me on tha Twittah will be famillyur with this. No Tyrese.)
So a Pollock, a Priest, and a Japanese Sweater Monkey walk into a bar and see a young urban male and female sitting at a bar talking. Rapture. The guy and the gal are chopping and hamming it up like old friends who just met 5 minutes ago. They talk about everything from the dating scene to the education system in America to identity crisis management (called The Mariah Carey Black Fan Procurement Project), etc. It’s a joyous and righteous occasion. They laugh. The conversation flows naturally and funly. Hours pass. Three hours in fact. Titanic-convo proper. At some point, the male looks at his watch and realizes he has somewhere else to be (around midnight) and tells the female half of their tandem that it’s been a pleasure talking to her and that he wishes her a great night.
Toodles to you b*tches.
Scrrrrrrrrr….wait what did he just say?
Yeah girl. Ole boy just spent hours talking to the chick and he ain’t eeeeen say that he got ole girls number. Why he even gon’ waste her time like dat. That’s just wrong, Shirleyquana. So wrong. Just hit her with the toodles.
So yes, they parted ways and nary a phone number was exchanged. This is where the debate begins. So let’s just start with the question:
1. Ladies, if you spend all of that time talking to a man and he doesn’t ask you for your number do you feel some type of way?
2. Fellas, if you end up talking to a woman for an extended period of time, do you feel any obligation to get her phone number?
I’ve had various convos with women who’s main issue with this, assuming they had one, was why would any man spend all of that time talking to a woman he wasn’t interested in AND waste her time in the process. She could have been talking to a man who was interested in her for more than just a conversation and he stole that time for her, so to speak. I disagree with that because hell, she didn’t know when they started talking what was going to come out of it, and neither did he. They just started talking and ended up hitting it off. That however doesn’t establish a love connection. Should he curtail the convo once he realizes he doesn’t want to see her naked cartwheels? I mean if the convo is good why stop it? Plus, doesn’t this place all of the onus up on the man? He is the sole dictator of if anything transpires?
While I realize that the answer to that question is probably yes, isn’t it a bit presumptuous to assume that a guy is going to ask for your number just because he talked to you? Hell, I don’t assume I’ll get your number if I buy you a drink. But that’s because if I do and then you don’t then I will and you won’t and I can but you aren’t. And you see how confusing that is.
Now from where I’m sitting, I can understand why a chick might feel some kind of way. Once women tend to invest their time in a convo (and three hours is an investment of sorts, even if it wasn’t intentional) it’s because they’ve decided it was a good use of their time. Which means that if nothing comes of it, it wasn’t a wise investment, technically. Or maybe its just so hard out here for a pimp that when a good conversation shows up, the hope is for the potential of more and why for come the dudes doesn’t see that as well. I don’t know. I don’t have ovaries so I’m just speculating.
As ye of testes though, I view it was a good convo and nothing more. If I know I won’t use the number, I’m not gonna ask for it. I know lots of women who I can talk to for hours and want nothing from them whatsoever. If I see them out then great we can chop and screw it up all the live long day but it goes no further than that. And I’m sure a great many of them feel that same way about me. I’m a talker and I know a lot of talkers. We can wax philosophical any time, any place. You can have whatever you like. You want to talk pr0n and strippers or Karl Marx and the fall of the Byzantine Empire we can do that too. I’d prefer the pr0n and stippers convo but I’m open. No OB/GYN.
Back to the lecture at hand. Clearly a guy shouldn’t get a woman’s number if he’s not going to use it as that is leading on behavior. However, if a dude realizes he’s not going to try to get in a chicks skivvies, should he shorten the convo and NOT take hours of her time? Even if everybody gets something out of it.
Me no know. What it do, what the business is?
What’s the law?
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3
Also, don’t forget your VSB duty to help keep Panama off the block and The Champ on the wagon and buy “YourDegrees Wont Keep You Warm at Night: The Very Smart Brothas Guide to Dating, Mating, and Fighting Crime”