I disagree with your assertion, sir, that my having an Adam's Apple and masculine facial features makes me less feminine.
Today, I’d like to discuss the concept of wasted time management and how it’s viewed differently by men and women. But first…
…we must dance.
Ahem.
Let me set up a scenario (and folks who follow me on tha Twittah will be famillyur with this. No Tyrese.)
So a Pollock, a Priest, and a Japanese Sweater Monkey walk into a bar and see a young urban male and female sitting at a bar talking. Rapture. The guy and the gal are chopping and hamming it up like old friends who just met 5 minutes ago. They talk about everything from the dating scene to the education system in America to identity crisis management (called The Mariah Carey Black Fan Procurement Project), etc. It’s a joyous and righteous occasion. They laugh. The conversation flows naturally and funly. Hours pass. Three hours in fact. Titanic-convo proper. At some point, the male looks at his watch and realizes he has somewhere else to be (around midnight) and tells the female half of their tandem that it’s been a pleasure talking to her and that he wishes her a great night.
Toodles to you b*tches.
Scrrrrrrrrr….wait what did he just say?
Yeah girl. Ole boy just spent hours talking to the chick and he ain’t eeeeen say that he got ole girls number. Why he even gon’ waste her time like dat. That’s just wrong, Shirleyquana. So wrong. Just hit her with the toodles.
So yes, they parted ways and nary a phone number was exchanged. This is where the debate begins. So let’s just start with the question:
1. Ladies, if you spend all of that time talking to a man and he doesn’t ask you for your number do you feel some type of way?
2. Fellas, if you end up talking to a woman for an extended period of time, do you feel any obligation to get her phone number?
Discussion:
I’ve had various convos with women who’s main issue with this, assuming they had one, was why would any man spend all of that time talking to a woman he wasn’t interested in AND waste her time in the process. She could have been talking to a man who was interested in her for more than just a conversation and he stole that time for her, so to speak. I disagree with that because hell, she didn’t know when they started talking what was going to come out of it, and neither did he. They just started talking and ended up hitting it off. That however doesn’t establish a love connection. Should he curtail the convo once he realizes he doesn’t want to see her naked cartwheels? I mean if the convo is good why stop it? Plus, doesn’t this place all of the onus up on the man? He is the sole dictator of if anything transpires?
While I realize that the answer to that question is probably yes, isn’t it a bit presumptuous to assume that a guy is going to ask for your number just because he talked to you? Hell, I don’t assume I’ll get your number if I buy you a drink. But that’s because if I do and then you don’t then I will and you won’t and I can but you aren’t. And you see how confusing that is.
Now from where I’m sitting, I can understand why a chick might feel some kind of way. Once women tend to invest their time in a convo (and three hours is an investment of sorts, even if it wasn’t intentional) it’s because they’ve decided it was a good use of their time. Which means that if nothing comes of it, it wasn’t a wise investment, technically. Or maybe its just so hard out here for a pimp that when a good conversation shows up, the hope is for the potential of more and why for come the dudes doesn’t see that as well. I don’t know. I don’t have ovaries so I’m just speculating.
As ye of testes though, I view it was a good convo and nothing more. If I know I won’t use the number, I’m not gonna ask for it. I know lots of women who I can talk to for hours and want nothing from them whatsoever. If I see them out then great we can chop and screw it up all the live long day but it goes no further than that. And I’m sure a great many of them feel that same way about me. I’m a talker and I know a lot of talkers. We can wax philosophical any time, any place. You can have whatever you like. You want to talk pr0n and strippers or Karl Marx and the fall of the Byzantine Empire we can do that too. I’d prefer the pr0n and stippers convo but I’m open. No OB/GYN.
Back to the lecture at hand. Clearly a guy shouldn’t get a woman’s number if he’s not going to use it as that is leading on behavior. However, if a dude realizes he’s not going to try to get in a chicks skivvies, should he shorten the convo and NOT take hours of her time? Even if everybody gets something out of it.
Me no know. What it do, what the business is?
What’s the law?
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3
Also, don’t forget your VSB duty to help keep Panama off the block and The Champ on the wagon and buy “YourDegrees Wont Keep You Warm at Night: The Very Smart Brothas Guide to Dating, Mating, and Fighting Crime”
1. Ladies, if you spend all of that time talking to a man and he doesn’t ask you for your number do you feel some type of way?
I’m not mad at him, I just figure he talked to me and decided he wasn’t interested. As far as “wasting my time,” better after a 5 minute convo at the NSBE happy hour than getting “short bused (just finished reading “Your Degrees”)
I completely agree. Better a good conversation than expecting something (a phone call) that might never come along.
s.n. Love the fact that there is another female engineer on here…
Sadly, I’m not an engineer. I was in the Urban League, so I went to errrbody else’s ‘Young Educated Negro Professional’ events. On that
free drinks before 10, socializing, networking,search for a heterosexual single black male/unicorn, promoting other events I was into steezS. I. X —> Just a little NSBE Love for ya.
Whose House? Luv to the engineering fam
I approve this message.
its kinda sixy in here
i agree with this sentiment.
my son is in NSBE jr. and he caught a 30 in. fish today [beats chest]…but even more ironic, i found myself in this EXACT situation tonight at ben’s.
saw an attractive woman walk in while i was outside on the phone and when i came back she was in the adjacent seat at the bar…i made a joke about the joe pesci snickers commercial and complimented her shoes (which were quite compliment worthy). small talk ensued…followed by medium talk. she smiled and laughed at all of my jokes ‘n sh1t…but despite all of the signs, i never felt compelled. she was supposed to go meet a friend to watch the game…but cajoled him to come where we were ’cause she ain’t want to leave. all the signs were there…but my interest wasn’t. ’tis a peculiar dichotomy for dudes considerin’ that the obvious horizontal potential (ALL we all want is xes, right!?)…but just ’cause a woman sets out a buffet doesn’t mean you eat gon’ e’erything (or anything) on the table. cool convo, couple of manhattans and deliriums…AND dallas won in 6 (did i mention that was my prediction!?) so i was all good without playin’ the 7 digit lottery.
Okay, but why? Was she not attractive? Did she have spinach stuck in her teeth? Did she say something that was a turnoff? Did she seem desperate? Do you have a girlfriend and you were just flirting to see if you still “got it?” (this is what I always assume)
why does it need to be anything. sometimes you just know. i got asked that question by somebody who wondered about the scenario i presented (i aint saying it was or wasnt me lol) and the truth is, when you ask stuff like that you’re asking somebody to justify a reason why this person wasn’t somebody they wanted. doesnt have to be anything negative or anything…sometimes you just know nothing’s there.
i def know that when i meet a chick even if we talk and its a good time.
i feel like with folks you’re interested, the interest just exists for whatever reason. if it aint thur, it aint thur. no need to force it and pretend it is.
and for el recorded affair…all good convos dont include flirting.
“why does it need to be anything”
Well if it keeps happening, there might be a reason. There may be something about me that is a turn off to men. If there is a reason, I would like to know so that I can adjust my behavior.
It could be nothing, but since most women think they are the best thing since since sliced bread, it is hard to imagine a man not wanting to get the number from a woman he has been talking to for 3 hours. If he isn’t interested, what kept his attention for the WHOLE 3 hours?
since P said what i would’ve said (and y’all STILL want to know “why!?”)…i’ll tell you why in this case–but every case is different.
1.) it’s a small/big city so if i see her again we can always pick-up where we left off
2.) while attractive, amenable, smangable and such, i really just didn’t feel like “puttin’ in work” (pre-smangage investment assessment = more convo via talk/text and at least a date or two)
3.) any given day theory: i met her after leaving a great brunch and there were two other women calling to watch the game with me later, so i was riding a pretty decent ego high at the time…had it been any other day, i might’ve been more compelled.
4.) while this may be controversial…she should’ve asked me–sometimes i don’t want to initiate beyond the conversational cordialities (this applies to established acquaintances too).
Maybe he just wasn’t THAT interested.
I got a question:
Why do women always wanna know WHY? How come it can’t just be like it is?
EXACTLY my point. it can’t just be, “not interested. there HAS to be some prevailing reason.”
sometimes i think chicks just want to be criticized. lol
Because we want to know if it’s something we can change in the future. We want to know whether or not it’s personal.
“sometimes i think chicks just want to be criticized. lol”
I agree in part. We don’t want to be criticized, we want to be perfect.
I agree. I’d like to know the truth so I can decide whether I want to change or improve or whether I don’t care. It gives me a chance to get better.
Maybe you’re already “good”, just not my type of “good”. I mean, perfection is cool and all, but if a guy is feelin you, you could inch wide gaps in your teeth, and he’d love each every one of them. Maybe…
My point is, guys don’t give a rats anus about perfection. Hell, we ain’t even perfect ourselves.
Save the quesitons for when you get to glory.
I agree.
“Save the quesitons for when you get to glory.”
Sir, please don’t get me kicked out this office LMAO!!
Well said…
But isn’t this more about a woman’s insecurities?
Why does there have to be something wrong with you (not you)? Maybe you just aren’t right for him. That doesn’t mean you need to change anything to be right for the next man.
“I agree in part. We don’t want to be criticized, we want to be perfect.”
Does this ^^^^ explain your screen name?
Because there IS a reason and men tend to act as though there isn’t one. It’s not only for me, but it’s for the man too; perhaps he needs to do some self-reflection and I’m there to help LOL
1. Sometimes there isn’t a reason (really, he just wanted a drink and your incessant why’s turned into a good convo)
2. Sometimes the reason is just too complicated to explain (he could be on the down low)
3. Sometimes it’s a plethora of reasons, all of which may hurt your feelings (he’s not physically attracted to you, he thinks you’re too fat, you’re not light skinned and don’t have long hair, you wear a weave, you’re natural, you’re only good enough to take it up the arse because looking at you would kill any sexual desires)
4. Sometimes the reasons are dumb (he doesn’t like that you drink vodka and ladies should only drink wine, you’re wearing 5 inch heels and he really prefers a chick in 5.25 inches)
5. Sometimes it’s a valid reason but he doesn’t want to hear you ask him why that’s his reason or try to convince him his valid reason is invalid (you don’t like sports, you don’t cook, you eat meat/he’s vegan, you hate wacka flocka, he thinks he’s the illest lyricist of all time)
Either way, if you both talked for 3 hours and neither of you requested the other’s #, it just wasn’t meant to be, and that should be reason enough to let it go…
#3 – should be there are, not it’s…
LOL, I was meaning more in general why I, at least, like to know “why.” I think there was an Office epside about this though…Pam wanted to know why the guy never called her back, then Jim made it his mission to know. And the guy finally told them he just thought she was a nerd.
I know, I know
….I’m one of those “why” chicks so I get it. I think men are allergic to why….Mr. Current and I have no “why” days….so on those days I ask “how cum”
my ex was a why (iPun2)…it takes a special kind of LOVE to deal wit’ that sh1t. ’cause our first instinct is, “WTF DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE!?” or some variation of that…but it deescalates/translates to somethin’ like, “i don’t really know how to explain it to you baby, it just is what it is.”
it’s like bein’ around a toddler…but one who can do a LOT worse than pout ’til they turn blue.
hehehe….X was a Y….a lot worse than pout till they turn blue…you sleigh me…
I completely understand why as a man, questions grate your nerves. But it really is just us trying to understand how you really feel. Living in the moment and rolling with the punches is just something women have a hard time doing….I’m learning…
Been in this situation a few times… In my case, to be honest, it’s usually that I’m not feelin her looks physically. But on occasion, it’s other stuff… like:
1) She comes off as very bougie…and/or ungenuine. This is one of the few things that will make me turn down guaranteed bunnage… Frankly, sometimes the juice just ain’t worth the squeeze. But to be honest, if she’s hella foine, I might be willing to put up with a little more Becky in her Sheniqua than I usually would… at least until the deal is closed.
2) She comes off as too ignorant… and/or prone to drama. Let’s face it. No newness is worth a scratched paint job or brick through the windshield. If you feel like you can’t or don’t want to date her seriously, …you have to ask yourself if she’d be down for something with no future. If the answer is maybe, AND she’s ignant… it’s best to keep it movin.
3) Maybe the convo ain’t as interesting as she thinks. Bottom line…sometimes a cat doesn’t wanna come off like a heel, so he’ll politely talk long enough to not make it like he’s straight droppin you like a hot potato. But once the good deed time frame is over,…you’re over.
All that having been said… We are guys, so if a woman looks like Gabrielle Union, you could be any of the above, and we’ll still want to chop it up for awhile, and then get your number. Sad…unfair…tacky. But alas, 100% But that’s true with women too…so charge it to the game.
You’re post was so full idioms and cliche phrases that it was hard to focus on the main point of your argument. LOL I still got it though.
Your**
Are you interested in all the guys that are decent looking and walking around out there?
Not every interaction has to be a potential relationship… That would be exhausting if you ask me.
PRECISELY.
I think the answer to this question for some single women is yes…Sadly.
See, we’re more alike than you think.
See, we’re more alike than you think.
I hope you’re prepared to back that statement up with some kind of commitment. We have something in common so surely we’re meant to be! Don’t waste my e-time unless you have good intentions Sir….
Thank gawd I’m not that chick…
Sorry love, im already real-life taken, and an e-boo might be out of the question, since im certain Mrs. MicTheMessenger is a lurker.
No hot grits over here, please.
I enjoy the conversation. sometimes it’s not always about getting at someone, but as you grow older I think the expectations change because people are looking to lock it down.
just my lil 2 cents
but you can’t waste 3 hours of my time…. 20 mins to a 1/2 hour at most
agreed! 3 hours! that is just ridiculous.
Sooo…How bout those Heat?
Now that that’s done I’ll go and read the actual post.
Good convo is never a waste of time, imo. That’s why I come here all hours of the night and day.
As for irl, if you think talking to someone for a few hours and not ending up with a phone number is a waste of time, maybe it’s right that you didn’t get one.
MAVS! And (Cavs Owner) Dan Gilbert’s twitter stream is killing me. Congrats, Cleveland
YOU IAYP straight up MURKED me on twitter tonight
twitter: making sporting events uuberhilarious.
Awww thanks 8) I do my best. I will give LeBron props for actually showing up to the press conference. Granted he showed up disguised as World B. Free’s hairline, but he talked and whatnot
Why must you do this to me so late in the evening?? **DEAD**
I had to Google him and now I am D.E.A.D.
The press conference was pure comedy….”did you guys choke,” “how do you feel about people who are so happy you failed” – i paraphrase…
“Good convo is never a waste of time, imo. That’s why I come here all hours of the night and day.”
truth.com. this entire blog is pretty much evidence that people (or at least the people who are going to be commenting here) like to talk
All of what she said.
Not a Mavericks (or NBA, for that matter) fan in the least, but I’m happy for Mark Cuban. He’s one of the few owners in sports that is legitimately a fan of his team, and seemingly without being a micromanaging idiot to boot (hi Al Davis, Jerry Jones, Dan Snyder).
Great avi *lol*
If only every problem was that easy to solve.
If you don’t care about getting arrested, sure why not? *lmao*.
Lebron went from LeTheMan to LeLost in 3 game span. lol.
LeBron is on the same list as Kobe Bean but I’m not gonna go there today. I’m just happy to know that the Heat are probably crying into each other’s jock straps right now.
Can we talk about Dirk at Club Liv in Miami partying with his MVP trophy tho? Shoooot, groupies aren’t partial to a team
Dirk has definitely earned everything he’s gotten from this season. Long overdue. But he’d better watch them loose womens. I ain’t saying they’re gold diggers…I’m saying they’re worse. Can’t have Dirk go down like that. Pause.
There’s no way they’d be in a Chicago club partying it up w/the trophy. That bad boy would’ve gotten aired out real quick *lol*.
I was thinking the same thing. These are some fake azzed fans. Mark Cuban, Dirk and Jason Terry are in Club Liv right now parting like kings http://yfrog.com/kfvvpvj The crowd is loving them! If they would have beat Boston or NY, they’d be on the first flight out of town, even if they had to fly economy.
Last NBA related threadjack. i can’t believe my Twitter timeline right now http://lockerz.com/s/110283821 The Mavs are getting props in MIAMI
It’s because, like other things in Miami, the fanbase is superficial. I’m sure there are some who geniunely are die-hard fans of Miami, but many of them were excited by the prospect of “the King” coming to their team.
But, since he forgot his talents in Cleveland….I just can’t. I will go on and on about LBJ and how much I hate him as a player. I’ll just say, him not winning tonight is almost as sweet as Cleveland winning SOMETHING.
So I’ll take it.
how do you hate lebron as a player?
Amen….that ish would never go down in Philly either…
You are so right. Philly is NOT having it.
No ma’am…saw some dudes in Cubs jerseys in Center City on Saturday. I said a prayer for their safety…
I don’t think Sixers fans have anything to worry about anytime soon… unless AI makes a comeback. Those drunk Cubs fans were all over the place on Sunday.
If AI makes a comeback, prepare for the rapture…the real one…not that May 21st ish…You are correct…the Sixers are not winning a championship in any of our lifetimes…
lol I expect AI to make a comeback five minutes after Jesus, Mary, Joseph, K-Ci and Jo-Jo come back and go on tour with the Black Eyed Peas. I heart them lovable losers though
I hate chu…making me choke on my lunch and ish…
@VIP K-ci and Jojo are on tour though…with Dru Hill. Half way there?
Bosh’s tears… that is all – LOVE IT! Happy for Dirk ‘nem
& I loooooove that the Heat got close enough to taste it & GOT DROPPED ON DEY AZZZ!!!
YES!
I DIED @ Bosh doubled over like somebody just told him MJ dead…The questions at the post game press conference killed me all over again.
Dude was falling on the floor like he was called to the altar… I just didn’t think he played well enough to be that emotional about it.
Jesus wept, but Bosh crumpled and fell to pieces.
RIGHT! His Avatar arse needs to stop.
CTFU!
LOL, Y’all mean as hell.
Yes, yes we are….
LMAO @ “somebody just told him MJ dead”!!!!
I was pulling for the Heat. But the better team won. I still like Lebron, I still like Wade, and Bosh still plays for the team.
Dallas put their foot all up and thru their asses and I’m happy for Dirk and Jason Terry and J-Kidd.
But I can’t get over the fact that Brendan Haywood and motherf*cking DESHAUN STEVENSON have rings. It’s just not right.
I like Lebron and could give a rats arse that he left Cleveland and went to Miami…nuccas get traded all the time with 0 warning so props to him for controlling his own destiny. I like Wade….Bosh makes me uncomfortable, I don’t know why…I wanted the Mavs to win because (1) when it’s not my team – I always root for the underdog (2) Miami was just too cocky promising dynasty’s and what not before “the big 3″ even played a single game together. Now that they’ve been humbled, I expect they’ll actually start showing up for the entire game.
PS…my team is the Knicks and if the mid-90s taught me anything it’s that being emotionally invested is for the birds…these millionaires will break your heart and carry on with their millionaire lifestyles while you’re arguing in bars, on facebook and twitter defending their millionaire arses…
You’ve explained my sentiments about the whole thing to a t. Great job reading my mind.
Gratzi
Yes! Folks on facebook calling the Heat (especially Bron Bron) ALL kinds of b*tches and just getting a little too happy and too emotional over something that wasn’t resulting in them getting a paycheck.
Grown folks acting crazy and what-not. . .
“Sooo…How bout those Heat?”
They ain’t pay their gas bill.
I think sometimes in those situations one of the parties is interested and the other didn’t necesarily read that vibe. I am a firm believer in procuring a number from an unsuspecting fella if I am intereted after one of those comvos…. or at least slip yours just in case. Otherwise, shut the fcuk p…
in this hypothetical situation that occurred, i’m not sure if either parties felt much of a “holler” vibe. could just be wrong. they guy in question here has seen the young lady since and there was no awkwardness.
If she doesn’t care, it shouldn’t be an issue
I approve this entire message.
yea… if she wanted to guarantee he got the OPTION to call… slip him a business card… or scan his barcode! No harm in the BBM.
This happened to me. And he was a Doctor. I was mad I didn’t get HIS number. Ladies, its a two way street. If you’re feeling dude, and he didn’t ask as he was leaving, get up and go ask for his number!
He may or may not have been interested, but you won’t know if he’s a shy boy or batting for the other team unless you seek the answer.
I’m all for asking a dude for his number…
I support this sentiment 200%.
Just curious… Did he anything goin for himself OTHER than being a doctor, or is that a trump card? No disrespect intended…I’m genuinely trying to get schooled on this point.
I often hear people drop that “so and so is a doctor”…like that explains something, and I’m always confused on that. I know it implies he makes dough… but frankly, that’s not always the case, which is why I’m curious what that’s about….
I know it implies he makes dough… but frankly, that’s not always the case, which is why I’m curious what that’s about….
True indeed…
i dont know…from where i’m sitting, there’s #nocountryforshymeninthepantyprocurementdepartment
Agreed.
And, if he is really shy, how did he get the courage for a three hour conversation??
Shy is what your girlfriend tells you to feel better about him not getting the digits. . . .
I’m an every day lurker… once a month (or once every two months) I leave a comment that gets lost… but I am a chatty cathy of some sort so a conversation; however long; doesn’t require a phone number to be exchanged. Now if I want a gentleman to have my number, I tend to just say “hey lemme give you my number”
“…a conversation; however long; doesn’t require a phone number to be exchanged.”
Exactly.
How come grown ppl can’t just have good conversations? Like, seriously, are women really feeling that just because they’ve had an 45 minute (or more) long discussion with a guy, they have to like one another?
It stinks a little of desperation to think that “everybody whe talk to yuh want yuh” lol
…or arrogance
Yes.
I mean seriously? We can’t just be talking anymore? It’s rather interesting… Maybe because I am a chatterbox and will dive into hours long conversation with folks just for convo sake but seriously, I don’t even understand this as an issue.
Yes… Let’s be real… If a man talks to a woman for more than five minutes then she’s beginning to wonder what his stats are… Car??? Kids??? Job??? Salary??? Live with momma??? Married??? Divorced??? What happened to the last woman??? Ten minutes and it’s “Hmmm I wonder what his last name is??? I hope its not something crazy…” Fifteen minutes and she got the brides maid dresses picked out… Most women aren’t interested in conversation simply for the sake of mental stimulation… They aren’t even equipped to handle that concept as reality…
This is funny…. But true. Men drift of in their head about our lady lumps and what not. We drift off by thinking bout what our children would look like. Maybe that is just an indication of the differnces between the sexes.
**differences**
I hope I don’t know many women like this…. Craziness.
You do.
Girl, YES! Why is this? Why are we at the altar and picturing kids after hello and the confirmation he has straight teeth?
How come grown ppl can’t just have good conversations? Like, seriously, are women really feeling that just because they’ve had an 45 minute (or more) long discussion with a guy, they have to like one another?
Well, if I’m having 45+ minute conversations with someone, then I probably like them. I’m not that nice or chatty a person and rarely feel any pressure to fill silence.
100% co-sign. I can hold a conversation, but I’m NEVER just dying for conversation to hold one that long with a stranger. If I’m talking to you like that, I’m interested in talking to you more.
Now, having said that, when the time comes for us to part ways if he doesn’t ask for my number there won’t necessarily be hard feelings (like if I run into him again I won’t give him the stank-eye), but I will feel like I wasted some time. Seriously. Would I be open to offering my number as he walks away? Yes, but I would preface the offer with this question, “If I give you my number, would you be interested in using it?” If he says, “Yes,” I will wonder why he didn’t ask for it himself but I could get that answer after a few more conversations. If he says, “No,” then that’s that. I don’t need an explanation as to why he wouldn’t be interested in using it because knowing those reasons wouldn’t change the fact that he doesn’t want to talk to me further.
And none of this means that I’m trying to get married tomorrow…or next month…or even next year. But some have asked, “What’s wrong with having conversation?” I say… NOTHING! But if the conversation is that good, what’s wrong with the desire to have more of it with that person? #IJS
I think that’s the mature thing to do… instead of bein on some old coy shit, if you want a man to have your number, give it to him. I doubt he’ll be like “No…that’s awight”. At worst, he won’t call.
It surprises me how seldom women do things like this. If you want to be a man’s equal, BE his equal at all times… not just when it’s convenient. That means, pick up the check sometimes, put yourself out there in awkward situations like this, etc…. It sets a good foundation and precedent, should things develop into more later.
________________________
(My signature here)
I think its a little of both…yeah time is “wasted” for the lady if she was indeed hoping to give out her number and find soul connections in said establishment. I mean she could’ve been a lady of the night sitting on the stool, so you know dayum well you wasted her time, cuz time is money to them.
But it is that other hand where you have to consider if you weren’t doing anything but drinking your sorrows and looking into the bottom of a glass, how is a striking conversation a waste of time?!? Its not. When he/she said hello and started talking that was not an obligation to exchange anything more than conversation. Putting hopes and dreams and wishes on an exchange of bodily fluids and diamond rings shouldn’t be a forethought.
Everything isn’t a missed opportunity.
I say “lady of the night” too. Love this!
You can’t say h0es, bishes or gold-diggers cause they are their own separate and unique entity. Prostitutes are even different from call-girls and escorts. All of them are not equal, that is why they are separate.
Where do the skip-skaps and scally-wags fit into this scenario?
II think they go under pirate whores. No one dates them because they have 18th century diseases
DEAD @ 18th century diseases!
“YOU LOOK LIKE A BLUEBERRY!”
Crying like Bosh…
phidelity15….you’s a mess.com.
^You know this right here helped make my morning brighter, right?
I have to find space and opportunity to use “skip-skap” now.
I had the exact same reaction upon reading that glorious term.
“Everything isn’t a missed opportunity”
Cosign
When he/she said hello and started talking that was not an obligation to exchange anything more than conversation.
exactly. good convo that doesnt end in a love connection isnt a waste of time.
that’s what i’m screaming. actually more like a doris burke hushed post-interview whisper. but you get my point.
why does she speak in such a hushed tone when speaking to the losers? Does she think that takes the pain out of losing?
” mean she could’ve been a lady of the night sitting on the stool, so you know dayum well you wasted her time, cuz time is money to them.”
I choked on my iced coffee.
It don’t get no realer, doe. Bish betta have that money…
This presents an unusual conundrum for me. I recall an earlier post about why women should not pursue men. My concern with asking for his number when he CLEARLY was not going to ask me for mine is that I’m putting him in an uncomfortable place. He may take my number out of whatever respect he has mustered for me during our extended convo but he never intends to use it. Whats the benefit in that?
If a man has ‘nads big enough to say, ” Hey our convo aroused my intellect but NOT my loins so keep your number because I’m never gonna use it…” he is taking a HUGE risk. She might go postal on him. Nobody wants that to happen.
Men could use the same reasoning to not initiate the number exchange. But then the human race would die out.
False positives suck. But they’re not the end of the world.
You do know women say that all the time, but somehow, men are “childish” or whatever if they respond the same way.
I can’t see that happening. A grown man is gonna just take the number. And maybe… even if he wasn’t considering calling, now that he has it, perhaps he will. Many times, after ruminatin on a convo, it takes on a different hue. Especially if a woman is woman enough and mature enough to step to me with confidence and respectfully ask for my number. Instantly, she’s in a different category… Even with all other things being equal.
Yeah, if you were to just give me your number, I’d take it. And try not to say anything that would imply that I’d call you ever.
And there’s no way in hell i’d ever tell a woman that she ain’t inspire my loins. No matter how true that is you all just aint equipped to hear that.
plus if you’re loins got a little more desperate someday, they might regret you saying that.
I don’t necessarily feel as if I wasted my time talking and no #’s are exchanged, I just figure he isn’t interested or would just want to be friends or something. Not every conversation w/the opposite sex should be about scouting out possible talent for your team IMO.
but isn’t scouting for booty always hidden in some deep dark corner in the back of one’s mind?
I can’t speak for everyone but when I go out, all I worry about is drinking and making an ass of myself having a good time. I figure if I go out and click w/someone, then everything else will fall into place. If not, my life will go on.
Idk what I did wrong, but I am very sorry Ms. Liz. Don’t banish me from VSB for this *lbvs*.
oooooooo Liz is gon’ get you!
duly noted
well if you got his number, you’d probably cross it out anyways.
I can’t even be mad @ you, thanks for that laugh *lol*
No, I wouldn’t neccessarily feel some kind of way about it, and if I did, I’d either ask him for his number or volunteer mine.
“They talk about everything from the dating scene to the education system in America to identity crisis management (called The Mariah Carey Black Fan Procurement Project)”
LOL!
(no further comment on that one)
no no…feel free to comment on that one. knock yourself out.
never happened to me, but there are plenty of dudes i like talking to and thats that. i would be a lilttle annoyed if i was feeling a dude and he just chucked the deuces lol
what if he chucked hte deuces and sang the song too? would that be better?
“what if he chucked hte deuces and sang the song too? would that be better?”
Maybe I’m ignant, but I actually kinda want that to happen to me just so I’ll have a story to tell. #ThingsIgnantWritersSay