The Best Part Of The Comey Hearing Is Watching These White Men Throw Bags Of Piss At Each Other » VSB

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The Best Part Of The Comey Hearing Is Watching These White Men Throw Bags Of Piss At Each Other

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Look, I don’t know what’s going to be the result of all of this. Does the Darth Cheeto get impeached or, at the very least, decheetoed? I don’t know! Does Jeff The Baby-Faced Bigot Sessions resign? Who knows! Do the Cavs sign James Comey tonight to give them some last-minute rim protection? I have no fucking clue! Does Jared Kushner eat Snickers bars with a knife and fork? Probably! Is Reince Priebus still alive? I guess! Are we, like, officially Russians or something now? Maybe!

All I do know is that there are few things more entertaining than watching these bags of lukewarm piss hurl bags of lukewarm piss at each other. There are so many levels of Capital Letter Whiteness happening and being exposed here that it’s practically a Capital Letter Whiteness¬†stroganoff! ¬†A potpourri of power and privilege run amok! A heap of Capital Letter Whiteness hash served on a grit cake casserole!

I’m hungry now!

Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a columnist for And he's working on a book of essays to be published by Ecco (HarperCollins). Damon is busy. He lives in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes. Reach him at Or don't. Whatever.

  • Kas

    I didn’t even watch for this very reason.

  • Keisha

    Considering how many scandals this administration’s already had I’m not terribly hopeful of change

    • Kas

      Not even a little bit of hope for me.

    • AnotherBlackGirl

      The leaders are too corrupt. A change aint coming.

  • NICUGRAD2016

    I watched a little at work and I still don’t know the point or the meaning behind any of this. Lol And I follow politics on a level I can talk about it at parties and water coolers.

    • raul

      I don’t think the folks running it understand either or rather they’re afraid of it’s logical conclusion. The political class basically excluded themselves from the rule of law. But then Trump showed up and made the bs way too obvious. So now they’re stuck, blowing Trump up sets a bad precedent for themselves going forward.

  • ????????

    The way it was being hyped up. I figured there was potential for some furniture moving. Instead, it was nothing more than a lot of ho hum dipped in meh dressing…

    Trump is really out here embarrassing the so called “Best and Brightest” like:

    • All jokes aside, his momma prolly still clownin’ him over this gif.

    • BlackMamba, Romperstiltskin

      I’m just wondering if we can chill in person because you’re cool fam.

    • Lea Thrace

      this gif is fucking glorious.

      the disrespect! I feel it all the way through the computer. damn!

      • Soul Glo Model

        Yeah! Complete savagery with the right hand. Man I love football.

  • It took a long time for Watergate to gain traction and end Nixon’s political career. But Washington was a lot less polarized then. At the very least, what today did was have the former top cop in America call, in no unvarnished terms, the president a liar, that there was truth to the Russian connections, and that he did indeed obstruct justice.

    Removing 45 from office will probably take the Democrats retaking the house in 2018, something I don’t see happening unless the Senate successfully passes the ACHA with all horrific components attached. What Comey did, though, was serve up justice in Tupperware. Come next year, if the Dems take back the House, all they gotta do is heat that mug up and serve it to him.

    On a wider note- I agree with Champ about how milquetoast all this verbal sparing is. But connect it to Russia, an unabashedly retrograde, white supremacist nation. They believe Europe should be white, patriarchal, and with less freedom and human rights. They are stoking the conditions that lead to their success here in America, and you’ve see what that has gotten us- Jeff Sessions, hate crimes, Bill Maher and Flint officials saying the n-word on tape, people murdered in the streets for defending Muslims, and ICE shattering families and lives at a rate that makes the Obama years look like a trickle.

    If this isn’t addressed, you will see an intensification of this. You will see a swath of voter ID laws that will become the 21st century version of literacy tests. You will see a national police force that ignores the Constitution to seek black “criminals” and the undocumented. You will see disparate outcomes for whites and people of color and minorities in this nation; this is how modern Russia works, and it’s how they want modern America to work so they can be busy building a Russian generation.

    Pay attention, keep the Constitution, and call your representatives.

    • LilMissSideEye

      I think the Dems can take back the House in 2018, but it’s going to require a major shift in messaging and strategy, and a lot of re-investment in both communities they previously thought were safe (so why spend the money) and communities they thought they didn’t have a snowball’s chance in heII in (so why spend the money). There are huge swaths of the Southwest with young Latino communities that see the writing on 45’s wall, who have learned that no amount of perfect English, education and respectability politics will make them less brown –there’s work to be done there and votes to be gained. There are communities with the kind of low-regulation, laugh-in-OSHA’s-face industrial gigs that land you on disability for the rest of your life — there are votes to be gained there. There are places that are frickin’ perfect for renewable energy development — and thus renewable energy jobs — if the Dems would just spin it to be about employment rather than the environment. And I won’t even start on the white rural folks who are just now starting to realize the inhumanity of the “War on Drugs” (funny how it doesn’t matter until it’s in their backyard…), not to mention a sh*tton of disillusioned black liberals who’ve given up any hope of seeing the school-to-prison pipeline end. The Democrats can flip Congress, but it’s going to require an entirely different narrative, and I’m not sure they want or know how to write it.

      • Kas

        Well said

      • Agreed. Changing the narrative means removing lots of Democrats who are in power and derive said power from the stories.

        I see Congress coming in play if they successfully repeal ACHA. Doing that will bring the hurt to enough working class white people that they will clamor for it back. If Democrats are shrewd enough, they can parley that to single payer.

        Edit- on a more pointed note, I find Bernie style liberals insufferable.

        • abreweryofhops

          Doing that will bring the hurt to enough working class white people that they will clamor for it back

          not sure about that. their small little minds are going to be having some seriously schizophrenic arguments about whether they want healthcare more than they want to see “them” suffer.
          also too, Republicans would lose a lot more elections if more people voting against them simply showed up at the polls.
          that’s what really makes me perpetually pissed off about the current state of things.
          yes, there are lots of places where the Republicans have done a great job of disenfranchising all sorts of voters, but there’s also lots of places where things are close and just a few more people showing up would make the difference.
          converting the racist, ugly Trump supporters is a non-starter. GOTV is where it’s at.
          I don’t pretend to know why the Democrats can’t make that happen, but the “we suck less” strategy is definitely part of the problem.

      • hahahahaha

        never dem never YOU:D

      • King Beauregard

        “I’m never going to vote Democrat, they don’t address the issues that matter to me.”

        “Oh? What issues matter to you?”

        “Well, jobs for one.”

        “Democrats are always trying to provide jobs; modernizing our infrastructure is a big deal to us. We want to give you better wages too.”

        “Well the Democrats also need to protect us from another recession.”

        “Dodd-Frank holds big business to book, making sure they can’t gamble everyone’s money on risky bets.”

        “Well health care needs to get straightened out too.”

        “It’s the Democrats who gave you the ACA and are trying to make it more affordable.”

        “Well what about climate change?”

        “Paris accord.”

        “What about foreign relations?”

        “The Democrats improved relations with most of the world.”

        “Well I still can’t support the Democrats.”

        “What? Why not???”

        “Because they can’t come up with a snappy slogan that summarizes what they stand for.”

        • I_AmU

          Update: The Dodd-Frank Act is no more. The House told it to kick rocks. Plays Taps.

          • Gibbous

            Senate has to act, doesn’t it?

            • I_AmU

              True but imop it’s basically a done deal. The GOP is calling it The Financial Choice Act. It essentially guts Dodd-Frank along with consumer protections. A license for financial institutions to run amok again like they did under Reagan.

        • I’m legitimately proud of how Obama managed foreign relationships. With everything else, well…Ted DiBiase’s walk in music comes to mind. Everyone’s got a price…

      • Ha on the environment. Do you think the guilty White liberals actually want people to get jobs other than as their guides as they tour national parks? And imagine people of color getting those jobs! That might ruin their vision of them as noble savages!

        • LilMissSideEye

          Two things:

          1) I don’t give a rat’s rear end what a white liberal in Portland has to say about an election in Charleston, WV. If the Dems want to win, they’re going to have to get hyper-local with this ish. Congressional candidates only need to appeal on a national level if they’re looking to become party leaders. If we’re just trying to get seats, stop trying to adhere to a national message and look at what’s going to work for each individual constituency. We’ve only got a year and change til the midterms; there’s no time for a national rebranding.

          2) Guilty white liberals won’t have time to dismay at POC getting those jobs because most of them don’t realize that there are black and brown people in rural areas — I’d be more worried about Billy Bob who ain’t never held a job his daddy, friend’s daddy or pastor didn’t get him, getting all upset that he has to work for Tyrone, Jose and black Brittney.

          I also think white liberals love to be smug and right more than anything else, and the narrative of green energy swooping in to save people from their dangerous, polluting jobs is one heckuva drug for that mentality.

          • I_AmU

            “I also think white liberals love to be smug and right more than anything else..”

            This is the unmitigated truth.

    • The Dems won’t take back the House in 2018 but even if they did, the conviction in the Senate requires a 2/3rds majority. Trump’s not going anywhere unless he wants to.

      • Republicans are trapped in the same Fox News-Alex Jones-Rush Limbaugh nexus that makes them view liberal progress as the death of America. I don’t know how- or if it’s even wise- to negotiate with these people.

    • I_AmU

      The entire 4th paragraph of your post is not the ghost of what’s to come it’s our current nightmare.

      • New Hampshire just passed a voter ID law that allows the state to visit your house and demand proof of residence before allowing you to vote:

        I don’t see how this passes 4th Amendment muster- we have a right to be secure in our homes and papers until a warrant or probable cause is established. But still, imagine black voters registering and having the police at their door the next day. Imagine this going nationwide.

        And I’m a former English teacher. It’s not a ghost of what’s to come, but a revenant finally returned for revenge.

        • I_AmU

          The Constitution often referred to as a living, breathing document has one foot on a banana peel and the other in the grave. Again, our current ongoing nightmare.

    • Diego Duarte

      “It took a long time for Watergate to gain traction and end Nixon’s political career. But Washington was a lot less polarized then.”

      This. Even with all the blatant and virulent racism occuring under Nixon, partisanship didn’t run as deep and red as it does now. McConnell already pushed every single precedent in that regard against Obama, even going as far as stealing a Supreme Court sit from him.

      It’s like 45 said, he could shoot somebody in the street and he wouldn’t be impeached. And you know why? Because this isn’t about Donald Trump, nor his perceived qualities and faults. No, this is about White Supremacy, pure and simple.

      These people keep on saying how they felt “embarassed” during the Obama administration, and you know what? I believe them.

      I believe them because it takes only a small measure of equality to show a White supremacist, who is used to the privilege his skin color grants him, just how woefully incompetent he is. These people were unmasked and, for the first time in the history of the USA, they were forced to look into the mirror and what they saw wasn’t pretty at all.

      Now they want to shatter that mirror and put their mask (or hood) back on. They want to go back to the days were they were judged not by their character and accomplishments, but by the color of their skin. Deep down, each one of them knows he or she is a poorly educated, white trash motherfucker, their skin color is their only redeeming quality in their eyes. And they’re going to fight tooth and nail to preserve that last vestige of what they consider their “dignity”.

      • I_AmU

        I cosign on all but one point -educated, financially secure wypipo voted for 45 too.

        • Diego Duarte

          Educated doesn’t mean intelligent though. They know that.

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    • Evorgleb

      Yeh people keep talking about impeachment. That cant happen as long as Republicans run Congress. Even if Dems retake Congress in 2018, Trumps behavior will have become so normalized that there probably wont be an effort given to an impeachment. People always want to talk about how much Trump sucks as a president, I would rather talk about how much all the people who did not vote suck.

    • Elena Love

      Well said!

    • Rastaman

      Thank you for providing some perspective. It hurts me every time so many of us act so casually towards politics in this country when we damn well know we are some of the most vulnerable to the effects. Let the wypipo be apathetic they can afford to be. When we act apathetic we get Drumpf in the White House and KKK Session as Attorney General when they are apathetic we get Obama. I don’t know about you but that there is proof that voting matters and who is in power makes a difference.
      I understand that in the age of instant gratification that the unraveling of the Trump administration feels like Batman V. Superman the director’s cut. But for context understand that he has only been in the office for less than 6 months and most past presidents made it to at least their 2nd term before being enveloped by scandals and congressional investigations. What we are witnessing with Drumpf is unique in the annals of US political history this human dumpster fire is experiencing scandals and investigation when his party controls all branches of elected office in DC.

      Drumpf next book should be “How to Make Enemies and Alienate Others” because he has a gift in that regard.

  • Kullervo

    Poor McCain he was so lost…

  • Mark M

    Let me put it this way, if this is was p___ throwing, what do you think it means for black folk? Disqus won’t allow the analogy.

    Also, what you really saw here was Exhibit 1,000,000,000,001 of how white privilege works and is alive and well. Even the dumbest imbecilic criminal will be treated like Snow White by the powers that be. To be white, literally means you can be stupid, criminal and racist and you can not only become POTUS but get a get-out-of-jail free card when you’ve been caught on tape.

    Man, we have certainly been denied.

  • Diego Duarte

    “Does Jared Kushner eat Snickers bars with a knife and fork? Probably!”

    That was absolutely low and unneeded sir.

  • BlackMamba, Romperstiltskin

    Kushner is probably the dumbest Trump behind Donald. This is the guy who got caught talking to the Russians on a secret channel.

    • AzucarNegra

      Do you think Sessions will squeal seeing his time is near up or he shall fall on the sword too?

      • BlackMamba, Romperstiltskin

        Sessions is actually intelligent and a career politician. Him trying to resign is a smart move, especially before his name is called.

      • cedriclathan

        I think he’s trying to outlast Doritto.

  • PDL….HE still working on me

    I watched all day, so much so that my coworker asked “is that what you’ve been watching all day?!” Yeah. LOL. I don’t nor did I expect much to come from this. They’re all theiving liars. Trump outchea playing the victim saying he’s under siege (really….kill the dramatics), Comey could have done more but he crookedly came straight. He was brave enough to leak this mess in order to cause a special investigation yet rather than state what it was going to be he could only nod and run take notes? I’m not buying.

    The best thing out of all of this? As much as Trump pretends he’s can’t put a lid/practice restraint, I see he had about 50 seats and shut his mouth today. He knows when to act a fool and when not to.

    • BlackMamba, Romperstiltskin

      Apparently in the closed session Comey got himself a mimosa, put on some shades and said to Kamela in her sun dress: “Gurl, let me tell you about this n*gga Donald.”

      • PDL….HE still working on me

        I hope so

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