Dating, Relationships, & Sex, Lists, Theory & Essay

the battle of the sex-less

we all know this woman.

she could be your closest friend.

your district manager.

your neighbor.

your mother-in-law.

your classmate.

your co-worker.

regardless of which role she happens to play, after spending some time with her, you have no problem whatsoever recognizing, examining, and outlining her problem; a problem so resonate that it effects her entire being, a problem that permeates everything and everyone around her, leaving those who’ve been in her fallout area left with no choice but to utter those same fateful six words underneath their breath:

“can somebody f*ck her soon, please????????”

from the “taming of the shrew” to “pre-early 2008 renaissance” condoleezza rice (btw, condi’s makeover from branmuffinhead to potential milf after several rum and cokes has to be one of the single most spellbounding stories of 2008.), the idea and existence of a woman universally thought to be in dire need of some d*ck is as old and dry as ***insert perfunctory joke about random vsb-er***.

(asexual no more)

although this may seem harsh, we all know a few chicks whose general demeanor and countenance would be legions better if, while they were pulling overtime duty at the office tuesday night, counting typos in everyone’s emails or some other excessively anal endeavor, some masked mandingo broke in, bent her over the trashbin in the breakroom, tied her hands to the blender, and blew her back out like bob backlund. if you don’t know any of these chicks, sorry hun. its probably you.

because we feel that a “satisfied” female populace makes the world much safer and much more fun, the champ has decided to give you all four definite signs that a woman needs some soon

she voluntarily works over 60 hours a week

i’m not referring to the person who has to work 12 hour days to put food on the table or to keep their business afloat, but nothing says “get her some serious wang, stat!!!” like a woman who’s a workaholic for no reason. if you interpret this as sexist or slightly misogynistic, hmmm….it looks like someone’s mouth needs some manmeatoh well. i’m the champ and you’re not. deal with it

everyone is always trying to hook her up with someone

when you mom, your co-workers, your ex-boyfriend, your neighbors, your girls, the people you know at church, the crazy mocha weekend barista, your nephews barber, and the family of that guy you hit with your car in 1998 are all always trying to “hook you up” with people they know, it has nothing to do with their altruism or their compassion or their loathe to see a “decent woman” by herself, and everything to do with the fact that your air of “coituslessness” is emitting from your body, infecting everyone and everything within a 20 foot radius, and they’re tired of it and ready for a change.

also, when this occurs, they’re usually three steps away from murdering you. its that serious

during “outings” with her girls, she keeps tabs on who does or doesn’t show up

i wasn’t aware that some women actually did this until a few years ago, when one of my exes informed me that she needed to go to this morning miniature golf outing her girls were having (she had some weird ass girls, btw), because she had missed the last one.

apparently, if she missed two in a row, one of the organizers of this outing would probably send her a snarky email/text “questioning her focus as a friend

***btw, this “organizer” was also nicknamed “t-mac” because of her terry mcmillan stan-dom and her odd resemblance to tracy mcgrady.***

when i asked a couple women i knew about this phenomenon, they each remarked that this is common. at least one member of their circle of friends keeps mental event attendance tabs. this person is also usually the one who’s gone the longest without someone “poppin her pepsi can”

she’s a militant black woman who has recently (within five years) graduated from college.

if i were a mathematician, in this space i would have placed the results of an inferential statistical study detailing the correlation between ultra-dogmatic militantism and lack of non-solo induced orgasms. since i’m not a mathematician, i’ll just say that, without fail, EVERY ultra militant recent college grad i’ve ever known (and i’ve known dozens) changed her tune considerably after she got some consistent gotdamn. every. 100 percent.

i guess its tough to memorize and recite jessica care moore with a wang in your mouth.

people of vsb.com, its your patriotic duty to make sure that the sexless women in your life get some sex, that the wang-less get some wang, that the healthy backed get them broke before the end of the calender year. the world is counting on you. don’t let your people or your champ down.

—the champ

Filed Under:
Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a contributing editor for EBONY.com. He resides in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes.

  • http://graywords1000@yahoo.com Dorian G.

    *Stands up, begins the slow cap*

    Clap……….clap…….clap…..clap…clap.clap

    • http://www.stickwithyocat.blogspot.com V.E.G.

      @Dorian G.,

      boooooooo hiss

    • Gem of the Ocean

      Go sat down somewherez.

    • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com Relax, Relate, Alise

      @Dorian G.,

      tee-hee @ the slow clap

    • overit

      @Dorian G., I see you on some bullsh*t.

      • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

        @overit,

        I think Dorian was clapping for himself because he made the first comment.

  • http://www.stickwithyocat.blogspot.com V.E.G.

    “i guess its tough to memorize and recite jessica care moore with a wang in your mouth.”

    So funny and so true. I know a girl who was manless, not necessarily sexless. To be honest, any woman who desires to simply get laid can get laid by someone – it ain’t that difficult. There is always some trampy dude out there. But to get some on a consistent basis is difficult for some if there isn’t a resident back blower in the picture.

    But back to ole girl: while manless, she was mean, mean, mean. And now she is with a man and is singing a different tune. She no longer goes off on people who say hello, she isn’t b!tching at the world just because…

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @V.E.G.,

      this is a success story and sh*t

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @V.E.G.,

      “To be honest, any woman who desires to simply get laid can get laid by someone – it ain’t that difficult. ”

      now i’ve always felt this was true. however, why in Sam Hill do i run into so many women who SWEAR it aint that easy? or is it just that they don’t feel they can get schlonged by somebody they want.

      which begs the question: is it better to get bad schlonged, or not schlonged at all??

      • miss t-lee

        @Panama Jackson,
        Bad schlonged.
        It’s a complete and total waste of time.

      • malaika

        @Panama Jackson,

        I would say hell Naw to bad D!! That just makes even more cranky than before… It aggravates the symptoms of lack of D cause now we’re 100x more frustrated……..
        The thinking being why did I bother to shave,dress cook just for bad D when I could have handled the byzness myself with awesome results? ;-)

        • http://insidethemindofadeviant.wordpress.com/ Deviant

          @malaika,
          shave ok I get that but who says you have to get all dolled up and cook. I can get a sandwich on the way and who cares what you wearing.

      • http://www.blacksexyprofessional.com Nia

        @Panama Jackson,

        because realistically speaking most men that believe they are blowing your back out are only tickling your insides..lol…not cause we’re that wide but because they are that little. NEWSALERT!!! All black men do NOT have big wangs…..

        • SouthernGirl

          @Nia, yup

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          @Nia,

          welcome and sh*t

  • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

    I can’t speak for any other women, but “goodgotdamn” on a regular basis surely smooths out my rough edges. I usually can recognize my own lack o’ wang prickly-ness before anybody else does and remedy that situation before I offend too many people.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @PBG,

      I usually can recognize my own lack o’ wang prickly-ness before anybody else doe

      this is a great quality to have. good job

      • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

        @The Champ,

        Some of us are just gifted. And by “some of us”, I mean me.

        Thank you. :)

  • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com blackberry molasses

    oh, do I have a gf who really fits into the category of “needs some now”

    i love her, but lawd if she didn’t piss me, my mama, my godmommy and my best friend off today. she channels her extra energy into ‘doing way too much’ and driving people nuts.

    i’m trying to get her some quality d before i have to smack her.

    • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

      @blackberry molasses,

      um…can i be on the list for those youre gettin some quality D, too?? LOL

      • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com blackberry molasses

        @shatani,

        of course! I’m all for making my sisters smiley… it makes the world a better place.

  • http://trintrinsez.blogspot.com trin-trin

    #4

    so sad but so damn true.

    whats worse, is i dont see an end to it ever.

    im too damn picky

    im all high strung n shyt now…gettin some will at least let me relax a bit…among other things lol

    • miss t-lee

      @trin-trin,
      “im too damn picky”

      I completely understand girl.

      • temps

        @miss t-lee,

        paralysis thru analysis!!!!

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @trin-trin,

      “whats worse, is i dont see an end to it ever.”

      forever ever?

      • http://trintrinsez.blogspot.com trin-trin

        @The Champ,

        i shouldnt say forever ever…but its very slim pickins where i live and im finna be here for the next three years for grad school starting january soo…and once school starts i aint gonna have time to dedicate to gettin a dude or a ho so…yeah i figure this dry spell may last a while :-( sucks 4 me

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          @trin-trin,

          where do you live and sh*t?

          • http://trintrinsez.blogspot.com trin-trin

            @The Champ,

            just moved to the bay area

            i love cali but i miss the east coast

            (and no i aint advertising to get hooked up im just lamenting in my misery lol)

            • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

              @trin-trin,

              (and no i aint advertising to get hooked up im just lamenting in my misery lol)

              you sure? asking because i was about to hold an auction for your email address on ebay

              • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

                @The Champ, LMAO.

              • http://trintrinsez.blogspot.com trin-trin

                @The Champ,

                well, uhhh…in that case…break me off 50% of the proceeds and im all 4 it…

                i mean, cuz if homie ends up bein a loser i should at least get some monetary benefit from it right???

  • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com Relax, Relate, Alise

    Yes, I work with one of those women, she is one of those people that no matter how nice you are to her she still scowls at you, and she is a pretty woman by the way. I want to send her some wang in a bottle, by airway, via email, facsimile, Pony Express, telegram, telegrapah, two-way, snail mail, sattellite, bike messenger, and telepathy TODAY! Someone needs to knock the dust off of that, I’ll even give him some Pledge and a feather duster to help out, bc I’m charitable and sh*t.

    • Gem of the Ocean

      some wang Pony Express could really be the business and just what the doctor ordered for girly…

      and not pledge with a feather duster! lmao… i’d actually recommend the swiffer duster. but that’s just me.

      • overit

        @Gem of the Ocean, yeah feather duster is so 90s, swiffer is where its at! I love me some swiffer, I actually look for reasons to use it lol.

        • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com Relax, Relate, Alise

          @overit, well i don’t think she has gotten any since the 90’s, so one step at a time, lol…..

          • overit

            @Relax, Relate, Alise, so you are talking a re-entry type program lol. She has been out the game too long so she needs to take it slow, and build up to a situation. I wish her all the luck lol. Hey, maybe you should take that on as a project, it might take away some of your hell point lmao.

          • Gem of the Ocean

            lmao @ one step at a time.

            i just put my mom up on the swiffer game. it’s a process, so i understand… good luck with your co-worker, Alise!

      • Fly…

        @Gem of the Ocean, “some wang Pony Express ”

        I keep getting images of Ginuwine and his baby hair…I can’t.

        • Gem of the Ocean

          *dead*

        • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

          @Fly…,

          “I keep getting images of Ginuwine and his baby hair…I can’t.”

          nor should you.

        • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

          @Fly…,

          This visual disturbs me.

    • overit

      @Relax, Relate, Alise, you know Wang Express is one brotha/male away. For those who just want s*x, I can’t imagine it being difficult to find.

      • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com Relax, Relate, Alise

        @overit, well I hope she finds what she needs so she can get some sort of fulfilment and stop taking out her lack of something, whatever that something is, on us…..

        • overit

          @Relax, Relate, Alise, you’re right. I don’t there is a reason, save for mental illness, that excuses being ugly to people. NONE. She needs to get that under control, and if the lack of D was so serious, so life altering, people should forgive her all her transgressions, no?

      • Gem of the Ocean

        i don’t even think it’s that some chicks can’t find a brotha to serve them up right. i think it’s they don’t even realize how undersexed they are and therefore don’t know really what it is they need. and that’s where self-actualization comes in. the more you know… the more you’ll O….

        ok it’s just too late for me to be up.

        • overit

          @Gem of the Ocean, “the more you know… the more you’ll O…. ” I’m sure one VSB/VSSer will nominate this for a t-shirt.

          You’re right, but how do they not know they are undersexed? I do think there is truth to this though. I know a woman who is so anal, so ready for a fight all the time, and everyone I know says she needs some D. I feel sorry for her though, she has dealt with a divorce, a bout with cancer, is a single mom, can’t someone give her a D rain check or something?

          • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com/ Relax, Relate, Alise

            @overit,

            At least a D IOU, voucher, coupon, introductory offer, no APR,no money down, or sumfin!

            • Gem of the Ocean

              yall are so foolish lol

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          @Gem of the Ocean,

          the more you know… the more you’ll O….

          overit was right. this is a potential t-shirt.

          • malaika

            @The Champ,

            Soo true that’s why the intelligent girls as quiet as they seem have a handle on it already. That’s why they aint got no time for triflin but they getting their degrees n shit.

            getting O’s makes you more intelligent, well spoken and patient ;-) lol

            • Gem of the Ocean

              lmao you might be right.

              “That’s why they aint got no time for triflin but they getting their degrees n shit.”<~~~ this for some reason reminds me of the skits from College Dropout.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @Relax, Relate, Alise,

      “I want to send her some wang in a bottle, by airway, via email, facsimile, Pony Express, telegram, telegrapah, two-way, snail mail, sattellite, bike messenger, and telepathy TODAY! Someone needs to knock the dust off of that”

      the day’s first corner worthy comment.

      i’m setting the over/under at 14

    • temps

      @Relax, Relate, Alise,

      maybe she is too picky…cuz if she pretty she getting hollered at so she need to stop frontin-she aint got to marry the dude

    • temps

      @Relax, Relate, Alise,

      maybe she is in a rut cuz she is too picky…cuz if she pretty she getting hollered at so she need to stop frontin-she aint got to marry the dude

  • Gem of the Ocean

    even tho there are some VSB ppl who actually “know” me now (no longer just a cyber-gem but a real life pearl) i’ll go ahead and put myself out there a bit…

    i have a few male friends who have decided i need to get me “some”. it’s like they feel sorry for me for whatever reason and in an attempt to throw me a pity party they plot out some ideal short-termed J.O./F.B. situation. and of course, some of them have offered their services (thanks guys lol). there has even been suggestions from them and my girlfriends (*giving Ivy the side eye*) for seducing an undergrad–i mean how desperate do i look/seem?!?! damn!!! it’s never that serious (or is it??)… anyway. aside from #2, i don’t exhibit any of the other symptoms Champers so delicately mentioned in his post.

    i realize some good D could potentially change my life–even if for a moment–but i’m not interested in casual “relations” just for the sake of getting some pep in my step. i mean, that’s what a barista who makes my SB pumpkin spice latte is for.

    seriously, do i really come off as some one who NEEDS to get tuned up to improve her overall aura and outlook on life??

    • overit

      @Gem of the Ocean,

      PREACH. This whole comment was taken out of my head, implanted in yours, and shared with VSB, or it could be the whole e-twin thing. This part especially resonated:

      “i realize some good D could potentially change my life–even if for a moment–but i’m not interested in casual “relations” just for the sake of getting some pep in my step. i mean, that’s what a barista who makes my SB pumpkin spice latte is for.”

      *choir*

      I do understand that good D can mellow someone out, but at the end of the day, not every woman who is going D-less is working 60+ hrs, raving, foaming at the mouth, or cursing out innocent by-standers. It is really easy to get someone to take care of the physical aspect of it, but there is more (to some people) that is to be factored, and when you weigh the pros and cons, choosing to find something lasting as opposed to a quick fix does not make one crazy. Personally, there are a lot of things I do that could be considered work, that take up my time,and might equal out to 60+ hrs p/wk, not cause I wish I was laid up with Tyrone and am looking for distraction, but cause I want to.

      I think its all about mindset, s*x should never be the determining factor to how much zeal you have for your damn life lmao. If you get some great, if you don’t, you will live and quite possibly, still be happy.

      • Gem of the Ocean

        ok, e-twin, this thought was totally a transplant from my brain to yours (thank you/you’re welcome). scary. anyway–i’m soooo on board with this comment!! so true my sista *waving church fan*

        esp…
        “I think its all about mindset, s*x should never be the determining factor to how much zeal you have for your damn life lmao. If you get some great, if you don’t, you will live and quite possibly, still be happy.”

        while i am sometimes happy to indulge in random pleasures and “animal instincts”, i don’t think it’s necessary to make me who i am. i can be content without constant sexual indulgences. the only reason my guy friends know i haven’t gotten any is becuz i tell them, not becuz they’ve seen me “foaming at the mouth, or cursing out innocent by-standers” (lol). it’s not like they look at me thinking: “damn GEM is on some celibacy ish and is a raging b*tch as a result!! we need to break open the emergency D case and give it to her STAT!!”

        aside from saving me a trip to the gym in this cold weather, i don’t really see how it could statisically enhance my current state of being.

        • overit

          @Gem of the Ocean, exactly. Can’t nobody tell me I aint happy, I stay smiling and showing my gunshot wounds (some of yall call them dimples…gay). I have SO many things I am doing, want to do, I’m all over the place, and its cause I’m on some renaissance woman type program lmao, every moment counts, and my legacy will not include my sexual exploits.

          Not to get too off topic, but I think the problem also lies with how society views youth. I know I missed out on a lot of the sexual rites of passage my peers thought were a matter of life and death, but I really had other priorities. I knew that if I wanted to get on top of my art game, I’d have to put in mad work, I had a lot of other more serious issues I was also dealing with. To be honest, as crazy as it might sound,s*x was far down on my list of priorities. I’ve always associated s*x with a long term relationship, period.

          I will say though, it always depends on you. If you feel you can’t function at your best without it,you betta get up, get out and get some. Personally, because its something that you can’t buy at the grocery store, I can’t set myself up that way. Perhaps I have issues being dependant? LOL.

          • Gem of the Ocean

            if i HAD to share cortical space with anybody in this world (e- and real), e-twin, it’d be your thugangsta self!! i’m seriously going to google how you can have 1 ovary split/spliced in space, fertilized and implanted in 2 different mothers. it has to be possible. becuz we are a product of such scientific genius….

            i was the same youth who felt s3x with dumba$$ teenage boys was just waaaaay overrated. i didn’t even like to share space with them in the halls, let alone some mysterious hidden location sneaking to try and get it in. i had other ish ta do. and i’m still kind of the same way. i’m not the type to take it however i can get it. i guess i’m a romantic in the sense that i want it all—the physical, mental, emotional connection. i want a WHOLE man, not just his goodgotdamn [piece].

            • overit

              @Gem of the Ocean, “if I HAD to share cortical space with anybody in this world (e- and real), e-twin, it’d be your thugangsta self!!”

              Likewise!

              I definitely thought that s3x with random dudes was overrated, and you are so on point. The reason is because I was looking for it all, the physical, mental, emotional and all the security that brings at like 13 lol. So you know I was looking at these hungry a$$ pre-pubescent lil boys like they was crazy. Plus, I was thinking 1/2 these men don’t give a goodgotdamn about ME so why give him a reason to hit just for some goodgotdamn lol?

              • http://www.stickwithyocat.blogspot.com V.E.G.

                @overit,

                “I was looking for it all, the physical, mental, emotional and all the security that brings at like 13 lol. ”

                Lol.

                Personally, not thinking I’ve found these things have prevented me from settling down when presented with the opportunity.

                But I don’t see nuthin wrong with a little sumthin sumthin in the mean time. But Gem is correct: expectations, going into it knowing what you are going to get, is important.

              • overit

                @ Vdot, I completely agree. I guess I should preface my comments with the fact that this is what worked for me, and also, I’ve known a lot of the broken, “I feel so used”, depressed types lol. Trust me, I love a woman who knows what she wants and gets it, without feeling guilty cause that’s partly rooted in patriarchy, but like you and Gem said, having expectations and knowing what you are going to get, is important. I just hate when women try to get into that game, then come out all regretful and sh*t lol.

              • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

                @overit,

                “I was thinking 1/2 these men don’t give a goodgotdamn about ME so why give him a reason to hit just for some goodgotdamn lol?”

                True indeed.

            • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

              @Gem of the Ocean & Overit

              I’m ready for you two to get a townhouse together, do each other’s hair, share clothes and eat ice cream together straight from the carton while you talk about boys and nail polish and stuff.

              • Gem of the Ocean

                now that’s just crazy talk, PBG!! there’s no way we’d fit each other’s clothes! i’d tear hers up and she’d be swimming in mine. we could probably share head scarves tho….

              • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com blackberry molasses

                @PBG,
                I concur :)

              • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

                @PBG,

                I’m ready for you two to get a townhouse together, do each other’s hair, share clothes and eat ice cream together straight from the carton while you talk about boys and nail polish and stuff.

                pbg, you have forever sullied the masculine image of the very smart brothas with this wretched comment. if riley and springer were able to afford graves, theyd be spinning in them as we speak

              • overit

                @PBG, Gem is skilled in the art of exaggeration, she would fit in my clothes just fine, they would just accentuate all I do not have..smh.

                Gem and I would be the best of roomies though, she’d do all the cooking though, I’d swiffer up the place!

              • Gem of the Ocean

                i almost rarely ever overexaggerate. come on now!! you know me better than that!! lol ok maybe just a little…

                but yeah, i’d cook if you’d be willing to be my test dummy for my new recipes lol

              • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

                @Champ

                Sully deez.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @overit,

        I do understand that good D can mellow someone out, but at the end of the day, not every woman who is going D-less is working 60+ hrs, raving, foaming at the mouth, or cursing out innocent by-standers

        this is true. many d-less women are just fine, leading upstanding lives and helping old women and young squirrels cross the streets and sh*t. this entry isn’t about them, though…its about the women who, for the sake of their own and everyone else’s sanity, needs a man as soon as f*cking possible.

        these women do exist

        • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com/ Relax, Relate, Alise

          @The Champ,

          yup yup, they are not mythical creatures at all… word to griffins.

          • SouthernGirl

            @Relax, Relate, Alise,

            …and gnomes

            • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com blackberry molasses

              @SouthernGirl,

              y’all are chasing the menfolk away with the menagereie of mythical creatures!!!!

              **hides sparkly bag of Diva Dust ™ under her desk**

              • SouthernGirl

                @blackberry molasses, lol. i couldn’t help myself. i will try to have more sparingly/appropriate uses of gold stars and mythical creatures.

    • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor Miss Patterson

      @Gem of the Ocean, I’m with you on your thoughts regarding casual s3x. Back breaking bliss is only temporary; that high inevitably runs its course and then it’s back to looking for something that’s real. That’s what women are missing, something real. Plus I think that for most women it’s actually when they’re relegated to jump-off status that they begin to exhibit more angst, irritability and depressive tendencies. So, perhaps it’s not good d*ck that women are missing it’s love, pure and simple. If more men would recognize this fact, and stop perpetuating this myth that their d*ck is some sort of magic elixir, and that their wang is all they have to bring to the table, they’d have a lot less drama to deal with.

      • http://www.stickwithyocat.blogspot.com V.E.G.

        @Miss Patterson,

        “Back breaking bliss is only temporary; that high inevitably runs its course and then it’s back to looking for something that’s real.”

        This is crazy talk. :D

      • Gem of the Ocean

        well damn. you bring up some great points, Miss P. droppin knowledge on ‘em. i dig it.

        • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

          @Gem of the Ocean,

          right?!?!

          generally, if all a woman needs is a good deep d*ckin, then that can usually be arranged. i think its way more than that. veggie’s right! ive seen more women be awful when they are relegated to “piece on the side”status than if they had just left well enough alone…

          too many men think they got the magic stick. i mean, unless that wand of yours can pay off some student loans, im pretty sure it aint all that…

          • Gem of the Ocean

            lmao @ “too many men think they got the magic stick. i mean, unless that wand of yours can pay off some student loans, im pretty sure it aint all that…”

            a mess!! but sho you right.

      • overit

        @Miss Patterson,

        “So, perhaps it’s not good d*ck that women are missing it’s love, pure and simple.”

        you said it so much better than I could.

      • http://www.stickwithyocat.blogspot.com V.E.G.

        @Miss Patterson,

        “this myth that their d*ck is some sort of magic elixir, and that their wang is all they have to bring to the table”

        I guess I’m fortunate enough to have not met many men who’ve perpetrated this ‘myth’. But, wouldn’t this be a myth (if it is at all, cuz I haven’t heard it. lol) that women are responsible for spreading and then making it real in their minds?

        I mean, you gotta deal with a man where he his at that point in time (and visa versa) and if a dude isn’t willing to give more than the D to a particular woman is that really is fault? Or is it hers for trying to build something real with him when his actions show he isn’t ready for it, whether it be with her or at that point in his life?

        • overit

          @V.E.G., I think it’s both V. Sometimes women don’t show enough sense, especially when they are in love, and men will take what is given to them without question. Women need to show more sense, and men need to grow a conscious. Since most men, especially at certain ages, will not slow their roll to consider whether a woman is emotionally ready for all their awesomeness, women need to start using the logic God gave them.

          • http://www.stickwithyocat.blogspot.com V.E.G.

            @overit,

            well said

            • overit

              @V.E.G., thanks. I try to keep up with your zentacular self;)

          • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor Miss Patterson

            @overit, ditto.

        • Gem of the Ocean

          I mean, you gotta deal with a man where he his at that point in time (and visa versa) and if a dude isn’t willing to give more than the D to a particular woman is that really is fault? Or is it hers for trying to build something real with him when his actions show he isn’t ready for it, whether it be with her or at that point in his life?

          i think this is a separate issue all together. need we go there?? lol. but seriously, i KNOW there are many men who think all women need is a good back bending/breaking/blowing experience and they’re cured from whatever ailment, depression, lowered esteem, b*tchiness they are suffering from. and i think a lot of women believe this too. but let me tell you, i tried this “magic elixir” once before, and it had an infinitesimal influence on my life. nothing more disappointing than low achieving… nevermind.

          so in reality, i guess it all boils down to expectations and requirements. what is it that you and your partner expect from the situation? what is it that you really need to get to where you wanna go/be? and if all parties are in alignment, goals can be reached. i suppose. idk.

        • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor Miss Patterson

          @V.E.G., i hear what you’re saying and I agree wholeheartedly- the responsibility rests on both genders to recognize what he/she is bringing to the table and/or what the other person’s expectations are. I just think that no one should be mislead into thinking that good D is what they should settle for (so that they can ‘feel better’ temporarily) instead of what they want- the whole package. We’ve established here on a number of occasions that the genders are wired differently, so a man is fooling himself if he thinks that a woman is content with getting just a piece of him (both figuratively and literally) and that his piece alone will put an end to all her b*tching… [cue in Guy remix]

          • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

            @Miss Patterson,

            *singin* you can have a piece of my love…waiting for you…girl its true…

        • mssula

          @V.E.G.,

          If this comment was a 6’1 smart black man, I would marry it.

          This whole “Cinderella” construct in the head of little girls have them expecting prince charmings on white horses with every single dude they meet.

          We need a new set of bedtime stories for little girls.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @Miss Patterson,

        :So, perhaps it’s not good d*ck that women are missing it’s love, pure and simple.”

        i was being (somewhat) facetious with the d thing, but although these chicks usually just need to be a decent relationship, “damn…someone please get her some wang soon” not “damn…someone please get her ass someone to cuddle and watch movies with!!” is the prevailing thought in most of our heads after dealing with these unfortunate women

      • shay

        @Miss Patterson,
        “this myth that their d*ck is some sort of magic elixir, ”

        hmmm i have busted right thru this “myth”

    • kalia

      @ Champ & Gem,

      wow , this post reminds me of one of my fav movies “deliver us from eva.” i dentify w/the character in many ways (yes, overall i am high strung)…my guy and i are practicing abstinence, but he swears that once i let him in i will loosen up and he’ll have me wrapped around his finger….aoint know…..lol

      • malaika

        @kalia,

        probably that is defined in the VSB Oxford/Cambridge published dictionary as d!ckmatization.

        It gets so good sometimes that your senses take temporary leave only to return after you unwrap yourself from the ceiling.

        • kalia

          @malaika,

          LOL…..so it’s like that, huh?? there might be hope for me yet!

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @kalia,

        yeah…that flick, as well as countless others, is actually based on “the taming of the shrew”

        • kalia

          @The Champ, you know, the funny thing is we read that in highschool and i can not remember the story for the life of me (probably because i have only skimmed every reading that has been assigned to me from pre-k to grad school…oops). gotta love pop culture for being more memorable!

      • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

        @kalia,

        “…but he swears that once i let him in i will loosen up and he’ll have me wrapped around his finger….”

        If that’s your particular kink, I say go for it. I ain’t mad @ ya.

        • kalia

          @PBG, LOL……i meant figuratively

    • Ivy St.

      @Gem of the Ocean, *clears throat* LOL! I can’t believe you put your business out there. I am dying at my desk. As to you needing some, does anyone really NEED it? I don’t know. could you use some? Yeah sure, why not. :P

      • Gem of the Ocean

        lmao @ “does anyone really NEED it? I don’t know. could you use some? Yeah sure, why not.”

        exactly!!! i don’t have a shortage of potential. but most of them i’m not sure i want going deep sea diving to capture my oyster’s pearl…. we’ll see…

    • temps

      @Gem of the Ocean, ok only a woman would dare say coffee can sub for the D…look I drink but aint a bottle out there better than whats between a womans’ legs

      And I cant see what wrong with casual relations.

      As a whole we are NOT a marrying generation..fools shack up for yrs to realize the mistake maybe they should have just “did it for the season” but noooo he HAD to move in.

  • Gem of the Ocean

    p.s. Condi–OMG!! she actually looks… well, great! and her HAIR is just… i mean… i’m… uhhh…. speechless. really. wowsers.

    • overit

      @Gem of the Ocean, I’m shocked @ Condi myself. Perhaps now that she is to be associated with one of the worst administrations ever, she decided to salvage the one thing she could, her fashon sense.

      • http://www.stickwithyocat.blogspot.com V.E.G.

        @overit,

        I think Condi has always been fashion conscious. She wore some straight hooker boots at some high profile event…the pics were every where. And she WAS shopping at Ferragamo when Katrina hit.

        Methinks she was puttin together a look she felt was appropriate for her gig (I mean, even Michelle O. was rocking sweater sets, something I think should be banished) while secretly rocking skinny jeans and peep toe platforms at home.

        The hair is a different story…

        • overit

          @V.E.G., I agree she was putting together a look that fit her job, but I think there is a balance that most women in office do not meet. In their efforts to prove themselves capable, they forget they are women lol. The hair was the biggest slap to my face. WHY Condi, WHY? Is it cause she was raised by 2520s and never learned how to properly fix her hair, or what styles suited her? Actually, that can’t be it, I know her hairdresser is Black. I can’t call it.

          • http://www.stickwithyocat.blogspot.com V.E.G.

            @overit,

            “there is a balance that most women in office do not meet. In their efforts to prove themselves capable, they forget they are women lol.”

            So true, so true.

            The hair…yeah. It was truly a national tragedy to see her busted hair. I think Condi’s hair was the worst thing about the Bush administration. I’m hoping she can get a new somebody to work on her ‘do.

            • Gem of the Ocean

              I think Condi’s hair was the worst thing about the Bush administration.

              oh boy do i agree. must we suffer economically, foreign relation-ally (i know, i know) AND visually?? i mean damn. give us a break!

              • overit

                @Gem of the Ocean, the Bush administration just looked raggedy, on paper, in person, from near and far, just a hot mess.

              • Gem of the Ocean

                lmao yes indeed!

              • http://www.stickwithyocat.blogspot.com V.E.G.

                @Gem of the Ocean,

                Exactly. Gas in Chicago was inching towards $5 a gallon, our international reputation was in the toilet, the deficit was reaching historical proportions, major corporations were folding. AND we had to look at that hair.

                Overit said it best: the Bush administration just looked raggedy, on paper, in person, from near and far, just a hot mess.

              • Peyso

                @Gem of the Ocean, I wanna see how ya hair look when ya runnin all through the damn middle eat with 130 degree weather. She aint had no time for a wash and set (no homo, NTTAWT)

              • Gem of the Ocean

                peyso—that’s why it’s so important to know your hair!! know what products and styles work on your hair in different conditions to keep it right. some one with lots of $$$ and hook ups has no reason walkin around lookin crazy on the home turf. NONE at all!!

              • mssula

                @Peyso,

                So according to your logic, all (black) women in hot, humid weather have busted hair?

                I beg to differ. And most don’t have half the resources Ms. Rice dispose of.

                She just wanted to look bushadministration compliant.

        • Swamii

          @V.E.G.,

          Hey, Condi is on the job market now, so she needed to change stuff up.

          Never know who she is going to interview with….

    • The Queen

      @Gem of the Ocean, regarding Condi…all I can say is it’s about time.

  • Jen

    WHAT do you have against the aware Black woman?

    • http://insidethemindofadeviant.wordpress.com/ Deviant

      @Jen,
      honestly sometimes it just makes my dic soft.

      • IVR

        @Deviant, “@Jen,
        honestly sometimes it just makes my dic soft.”

        LoL. . . damn!

      • Jen

        @Deviant,

        Enjoy your undereducated whitewashed children.

        • http://insidethemindofadeviant.wordpress.com/ Deviant

          @Jen,
          I never said I wasn’t aware of the plight of those of us who have more melanin than most. Just because I don’t want to be showered with awareness all day doesn’t mean I lack it. I’d rather not spend my time being the chior for someone to preach to.

          • Jen

            I said, “enjoy,” sir!

            • http://insidethemindofadeviant.wordpress.com/ Deviant

              @Jen,
              why did I think of Fez when I read that

              • Jen

                Fes = F.E.S. = foreign exchange student

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @Jen,

      good question

  • Fly…

    Remember that episode of $ex in the City when Samantha met that yoga instructor who was super $exy to her, and then she found out he was celibate, which was why he had soooo much $exual energy harnessed inside waiting to be unleashed, so it just made him walking $exuality on a stick, irresistable and desireable even.

    That’s not true. I’ve been without relations for a while now, and in my opinion, it makes me more of a cornball than I actually am. When I have an active $ex life, that’s when I have an aura of sensuality, not when I’ve been pipeless for months.

    That is all.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @Fly…,

      Remember that episode of $ex in the City when Samantha met that yoga instructor who was super $exy to her, and then she found out he was celibate, which was why he had soooo much $exual energy harnessed inside waiting to be unleashed, so it just made him walking $exuality on a stick, irresistable and desireable even?

      no

      • Leila

        @The Champ, lol

    • mssula

      @Fly…,

      His was tantric and spiritual… so a bit different.

      That’s probably why? :)