Lists, Pop Culture

The Apology: 10 Things For Which Hip-Hop Should Apologize

ludacris_mccain_apology

(Ya know, aside from all the social ills that so many people erroneously attribute to hip-hop.)

1. The Diplomats

They’ve singlehandedly crafted or perpetuated more horrendous trends than anybody: grown men wearing effeminate colors, looking dirty on purpose, “no homo”, non-sensical wordplay, etc.

And above all else, they are responsible for the ascent of Jim Jones who is responsible for everything wrong in the Black community. In fact, everything else on this list is Jim Jones fault.

2. Vibe Magazine

I may never get a mention by Danyel Smith after this, but for whatever reason, some people actually look to Vibe for hip-hop news and their WACK-AS-THE-F*CK Best Rapper Alive Tourney Bracket was the biggest miscarriage of justice since Dwight Howard’s technical for being happy to poo all over Verajao. Vibe owes hip-hop an apology for putting Bow Wow on the list and making Wale have to mother*cking play-in.

3. Diddy’s twittering

I think I hate Diddy right now and his million follower goal made me want to slap him with the Life After Death double album. By the way, I follow Diddy on Twitter. After all, Diddy is…hip-hop.

4. Oversensitivity, which is supposed to be the anti-thesis of hip-hop

If the kids look up to rappers, and rappers are acting like p*ssies, then our male offspring will presumably begin to act like p*ssies – which could clearly explain the uber-sensitivity that has been going around in the black community. The number one killer of black man is not diabetes, stroke, or heart disease.

It is lack of respect. The assumption of lack of respect comes from the overabundance of sensitivity and instigators wanting to witness the sensitivity. Sensitive thugs, you all need hugs.

B*tches.

5. Bad Nicknames

Gucci Mane, OJ Da Juiceman, Trick Daddy, Rick Ross (when the real drug kingpin Rick Ross is getting out of jail), Freeway (see Rick Ross), Papoose (what the f*ck is a Papoose anyway?), etc.

Because of hip-hop, a grown man can be referred to as Tangle Jig P Boo-Boo and nobody thinks twice about it.

6. Spencer Pratt’s burgeoning rap career

You know what, he doesn’t sound terrible. You know why? It’s because he’s mimicking every other craptastic rapper out nowadays. He sounds like the status quo. Somehow, his rap career became an actual possibility.

7. Pure ignorance

To wit:

XXL: One of the things that was eye-catching about the book was the graphical treatment, how some words are emphasized and bold and right in your face. It kinda reminds me of a book I’m sure you’re familiar with, Saul Williams’ “Said The Shotgun To The Head.” What was the reasoning…

Kanye (West) : You know what, I’m not familiar with no books. I don’t know no books, dead ass. That’s what we wrote in the beginning. I didn’t read 48 Laws [of Power], I never read “The Secret.” And Saul Williams is a good friend of mine, but I’m sorry…you know what? There are people who are genius designers that don’t know any other designers’ names.

Then again, he is the college dropout. So who am I to be surprised he “don’t know no books“?

8. Horrible and unintelligible slang

The best slang is obvious, not some over the top intentionally stupid stuff like some of the stuff that comes out of the (Father forgive me), Bay area. ESPECIALLY the Bay area. It’s gotten to the point where even black people don’t know what anybody is talking about anymore.

It used to be that when folks were making up shit, you didn’t have to spend weeks trying to learn it. It all made sense in the context of sentences or verses. To understand some rappers, you need to take a damn class. I already have 2 degrees so f*ck that very much.

Apologies are warranted.

9. Pink

The color, not the singer. Yes, The Dips hip-hop should apologize for introducing pink into hood culture making it possible for me to be held up by a guy wearing a ski mask and a pink polo shirt on it. This is a problem for me. I just don’t feel comfortable being robbed by a man in pink. I just don’t. This is Harlem’s fault. Lots of bad things come out of Harlem, if you think about it.

*shots fired*

10. Lupe Fiasco’s acclaim

Able lyricist with remarkably strange concepts at times (perhaps I’m not deep enough for him – I’m lying, you are full of sh*t if you thinks song about being a hamburger was deep), yet somehow, rap is so bad that people think Lupe is the next coming of Inspectah Deck’s first verse on “Triumph” which is by far one of the best, and most well known, verses in hip-hop (right after Rob Bases’s first verse on “It Takes Two”). Lupe is a beneficiary of wack times.

*****

So, for what else does hip-hop owe an apology??

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD 3

Filed Under:
Panama Jackson

Panama Jackson is pretty fly for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future.

  • http://nrxtbigthing.blogsome.com Hostess

    Gold fronts
    The liberal use of ‘baby momma’ in casual mainstream conversation
    Flavor Flav and his franchise of buffoonery on VH1
    Lil Kim’s face

    • http://www.yahoo.com lulu

      @Hostess,
      i cosign on Flavor Flav and the career New York has made out of it

    • http://www.yahoo.com lulu

      @Hostess,
      i cosign on Flavor Flav and the career New York has made out of it

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @Hostess, baby momma is actually my third favorite word right after “scoliosis” and “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH”.

      by the way, i’m lying.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @Hostess, baby momma is actually my third favorite word right after “scoliosis” and “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH”.

      by the way, i’m lying.

    • Gem-balaya

      @Hostess,

      omg i stumbled across Flavor of Love 3 the other day and the mere sight of that lil charbroiled dung beetle made cornea collapse. i was blinded for at least 43sec.

      • http://www.myspace.com/thagrindaholic BLUNTBLAZER

        @Gem-balaya,
        Yea how did Flav go from Public enemy “F John Wayne” to reality show wacknesss. I memba he tried ta bring tha white chick on stage wit PE and chuck wasnt havin it. Must be tha money.

        • Me fail english?

          @BLUNTBLAZER,

          I may be especially prescient but I always thought of PE as a motley crew and Flav as the jester. I mean even Griff and Chuck didn’t really seem to be in the same group but Flav always seemed clownish to me. I wasn’t shocked at all by the way he was on VH!

        • Me fail english?

          @BLUNTBLAZER,

          I may be especially prescient but I always thought of PE as a motley crew and Flav as the jester. I mean even Griff and Chuck didn’t really seem to be in the same group but Flav always seemed clownish to me. I wasn’t shocked at all by the way he was on VH!

      • http://www.myspace.com/thagrindaholic BLUNTBLAZER

        @Gem-balaya,
        Yea how did Flav go from Public enemy “F John Wayne” to reality show wacknesss. I memba he tried ta bring tha white chick on stage wit PE and chuck wasnt havin it. Must be tha money.

    • Gem-balaya

      @Hostess,

      omg i stumbled across Flavor of Love 3 the other day and the mere sight of that lil charbroiled dung beetle made cornea collapse. i was blinded for at least 43sec.

    • Dj

      @Hostess, number 5 you may just wanna google before you make your self look dumb
      A papoose (from the Algonquian papoos, meaning “child”) is an American English loanword whose present meaning is “a Native American Indian child” (regardless of tribe). The word came originally from the Narragansett. In 1643 Roger Williams’ recorded the word in his A Key Into the Language of America helping to popularize the word.[1]

      The term also sometimes refers to Cradle boards and other child carriers, which were used by Native American Indians and went by many names, but in the United States and the United Kingdom, the term papoose is used to refer to a child carrier. [2]

    • Dj

      @Hostess, number 5 you may just wanna google before you make your self look dumb
      A papoose (from the Algonquian papoos, meaning “child”) is an American English loanword whose present meaning is “a Native American Indian child” (regardless of tribe). The word came originally from the Narragansett. In 1643 Roger Williams’ recorded the word in his A Key Into the Language of America helping to popularize the word.[1]

      The term also sometimes refers to Cradle boards and other child carriers, which were used by Native American Indians and went by many names, but in the United States and the United Kingdom, the term papoose is used to refer to a child carrier. [2]

  • http://nrxtbigthing.blogsome.com Hostess

    Gold fronts
    The liberal use of ‘baby momma’ in casual mainstream conversation
    Flavor Flav and his franchise of buffoonery on VH1
    Lil Kim’s face

  • Gem-balaya

    To understand some rappers, you need to take a damn class. I already have 2 degrees so f*ck that very much.

    lmao i thought i was the only one!!! my kids at church look at me all kinda crazy and full of side eyes when i ask about certain indiscernible slang i hear in some whacktastic music. most times i can barely decipher the syllables let alone the actual meaning. fact: upon first listen, i didn’t even understand the words to my fave alarm ringtone “TURN MY SWAG ON”. then again, i was in the club and all the hoodrats and thug misses were screaming it at the top of their lungs and the noisejust infiltrated my cochlea and had me in disarray.

    • Lili

      @Gem-balaya,
      I will say that I am neither a hoodrat nor a “thug miss(es)”, but I sing along to that song in the club too! Not as feverishly as the aforementioned hoodrats and thug misses, but I do…

      • http://adopefiend.blogspot.com Dope Fiend

        @Lili, me too

        something something beeeeeeed
        turn my swag oooooonnnn yeaaa
        munamamama mirror amamamama gooood

        LMAO!

        • mssmtaylor

          @Dope Fiend,

          “something something beeeeeeed
          turn my swag oooooonnnn yeaaa
          munamamama mirror amamamama gooood”

          *Dead*

        • mssmtaylor

          @Dope Fiend,

          “something something beeeeeeed
          turn my swag oooooonnnn yeaaa
          munamamama mirror amamamama gooood”

          *Dead*

      • http://adopefiend.blogspot.com Dope Fiend

        @Lili, me too

        something something beeeeeeed
        turn my swag oooooonnnn yeaaa
        munamamama mirror amamamama gooood

        LMAO!

      • Gem-balaya

        @Lili,

        oh don’t get it twisted. now that i know (most of) the words i sing too– in the club, in my car, in my room while waking up lmao

        i got a question why they hatin on me??
        i got a question why they hatin on me??
        i ain’t did nuttin to em but count dis money
        and put my team on now my whole click stuntin”

        sad to say, i have also been known to get my bird walk on as well. *hangs head* i think it’s somethin in the water here in pgh…

        • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com blackberry molasses

          @Gem-balaya,
          reminds me of ePosse f*ckery…

          Hop up out the sheeeeeeedd.
          Put my rags onnnnnnnnn
          Take a look out at the field and say “Oh shyt.”
          Yeeeeeeeahh, I’m pickin’ cotton… oohhhhhhh!
          i got a question why massa beatin’ on me?
          i got a question why he whuppin on me?

          *snort*

          • Me fail english?

            @blackberry molasses,

            <<<<>>>>

            …and looking for this on limewire

            • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com blackberry molasses

              @Me fail english?,

              can’t. that’s a BBMo OR-IG-IN-ALE!

              Pinstripe Mafia Stand Up!!

            • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com blackberry molasses

              @Me fail english?,

              can’t. that’s a BBMo OR-IG-IN-ALE!

              Pinstripe Mafia Stand Up!!

          • Me fail english?

            @blackberry molasses,

            <<<<>>>>

            …and looking for this on limewire

        • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com blackberry molasses

          @Gem-balaya,
          reminds me of ePosse f*ckery…

          Hop up out the sheeeeeeedd.
          Put my rags onnnnnnnnn
          Take a look out at the field and say “Oh shyt.”
          Yeeeeeeeahh, I’m pickin’ cotton… oohhhhhhh!
          i got a question why massa beatin’ on me?
          i got a question why he whuppin on me?

          *snort*

      • Gem-balaya

        @Lili,

        oh don’t get it twisted. now that i know (most of) the words i sing too– in the club, in my car, in my room while waking up lmao

        i got a question why they hatin on me??
        i got a question why they hatin on me??
        i ain’t did nuttin to em but count dis money
        and put my team on now my whole click stuntin”

        sad to say, i have also been known to get my bird walk on as well. *hangs head* i think it’s somethin in the water here in pgh…

    • Lili

      @Gem-balaya,
      I will say that I am neither a hoodrat nor a “thug miss(es)”, but I sing along to that song in the club too! Not as feverishly as the aforementioned hoodrats and thug misses, but I do…

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @Gem-balaya, i’ll bet your church kids would think that cochlea is some kind of slang.

      • Gem-balaya

        @Panama Jackson,

        lol

      • Gem-balaya

        @Panama Jackson,

        lol

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @Gem-balaya, i’ll bet your church kids would think that cochlea is some kind of slang.

    • http://www.myspace.com/thagrindaholic BLUNTBLAZER

      @Gem-balaya,

      Soldya boy is not slang it jus pure fukkkery

    • http://www.myspace.com/thagrindaholic BLUNTBLAZER

      @Gem-balaya,

      Soldya boy is not slang it jus pure fukkkery

  • Gem-balaya

    To understand some rappers, you need to take a damn class. I already have 2 degrees so f*ck that very much.

    lmao i thought i was the only one!!! my kids at church look at me all kinda crazy and full of side eyes when i ask about certain indiscernible slang i hear in some whacktastic music. most times i can barely decipher the syllables let alone the actual meaning. fact: upon first listen, i didn’t even understand the words to my fave alarm ringtone “TURN MY SWAG ON”. then again, i was in the club and all the hoodrats and thug misses were screaming it at the top of their lungs and the noisejust infiltrated my cochlea and had me in disarray.

  • superwoman

    okay, i need to understand what exactly was going on in that photograph….

    mccain looks hilariously pained ….

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @superwoman, during the primary season, Ludacris made a song where he took some shots at McCain and Hillary Clinton.

      i’m sure somebody can find the song and share it since i’m too lazy to look, but it was pretty out of order as far as rappers battling politicians go.

      lol.

      • superwoman

        @Panama Jackson, oh yes yes, i remember this! barack shook his head sternly in disapproval, right?

        no need to share – the mere memory of it will suffice, thank you and happy weekend!

      • superwoman

        @Panama Jackson, oh yes yes, i remember this! barack shook his head sternly in disapproval, right?

        no need to share – the mere memory of it will suffice, thank you and happy weekend!

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @superwoman, during the primary season, Ludacris made a song where he took some shots at McCain and Hillary Clinton.

      i’m sure somebody can find the song and share it since i’m too lazy to look, but it was pretty out of order as far as rappers battling politicians go.

      lol.

  • superwoman

    okay, i need to understand what exactly was going on in that photograph….

    mccain looks hilariously pained ….

  • An Island

    “Up in them five star tellies sayin two mic rhymes
    be them average emcees of the times. ”

    Maybe not totally on point but hip hop has jumped the shark. By and large it’s formulaic, watered down, Diddyfied (unoriginal as f*ck and recycled), and devoid of any substance, and it’s being pushed by a bunch of @ssholes who, first and foremost, want to supplement their 401k’s and get their corporations started so they will be able to get into the same golf clubs and gated communities as the wealthiest americans). Hip hop needs to apologize for essentially abandoning the De Las, Brand Nubians, and KRS 1s, and under-promoting the MF DOOMs and Immortal Techniques, while forcing Diddy, Bow Wow, etc. down my f*cking throat. Hip hop owes us an apology for becoming little more than a long f*cking infomercial over beats.

    • Right Her

      @An Island,
      Amen!

    • Right Her

      @An Island,
      Amen!

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @An Island, you know, perhaps mainstream hip-hop has abandoned many of those types of acts but there are lots of artists making the same quality of music as the pioneers you mentioned. hell, in DC we have cats like Oddissee, and there’s no dearth of quality MCs and producers out there.

      hell Kanye still makes good music, 808s notwithstanding.

      thing is, none of that is hitting the mainstream, which is interesting since NONE of those acts ever really saw much mainstream success, though selling platinum on some albums. Diddy took rap from the hood to the suburbs and then everybody was TRYING to make music strictly for the ‘burbs since they were spending money.

      btw, i don’t really care for Immortal Technique. dude can rhyme but for whatever reason, i never ever want to hear another IT song again.

      • Humble One

        @Panama Jackson,

        I agree. I like Immortal Technique I bought his CDs. I just cant listen to him for a long time. He can rhyme but like a lot of dudes that can rhyme he can’t ride the beat.

      • Humble One

        @Panama Jackson,

        I agree. I like Immortal Technique I bought his CDs. I just cant listen to him for a long time. He can rhyme but like a lot of dudes that can rhyme he can’t ride the beat.

      • http://www.myspace.com/thagrindaholic BLUNTBLAZER

        @Panama Jackson,
        Oddisee is my folks

      • http://www.myspace.com/thagrindaholic BLUNTBLAZER

        @Panama Jackson,
        Oddisee is my folks

      • Me fail english?

        @Panama Jackson,

        I agree with you on Immortal Technique. I recognize and respect that he has exceptional talent. He just never interested me and I can’t tell you why.

        Other dope MCs that make me take naps:

        Scarface
        AZ

      • Me fail english?

        @Panama Jackson,

        I agree with you on Immortal Technique. I recognize and respect that he has exceptional talent. He just never interested me and I can’t tell you why.

        Other dope MCs that make me take naps:

        Scarface
        AZ

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @An Island, you know, perhaps mainstream hip-hop has abandoned many of those types of acts but there are lots of artists making the same quality of music as the pioneers you mentioned. hell, in DC we have cats like Oddissee, and there’s no dearth of quality MCs and producers out there.

      hell Kanye still makes good music, 808s notwithstanding.

      thing is, none of that is hitting the mainstream, which is interesting since NONE of those acts ever really saw much mainstream success, though selling platinum on some albums. Diddy took rap from the hood to the suburbs and then everybody was TRYING to make music strictly for the ‘burbs since they were spending money.

      btw, i don’t really care for Immortal Technique. dude can rhyme but for whatever reason, i never ever want to hear another IT song again.

    • Dorian G.

      @An Island,

      You mad doggie?

    • Dorian G.

      @An Island,

      You mad doggie?

  • An Island

    “Up in them five star tellies sayin two mic rhymes
    be them average emcees of the times. ”

    Maybe not totally on point but hip hop has jumped the shark. By and large it’s formulaic, watered down, Diddyfied (unoriginal as f*ck and recycled), and devoid of any substance, and it’s being pushed by a bunch of @ssholes who, first and foremost, want to supplement their 401k’s and get their corporations started so they will be able to get into the same golf clubs and gated communities as the wealthiest americans). Hip hop needs to apologize for essentially abandoning the De Las, Brand Nubians, and KRS 1s, and under-promoting the MF DOOMs and Immortal Techniques, while forcing Diddy, Bow Wow, etc. down my f*cking throat. Hip hop owes us an apology for becoming little more than a long f*cking infomercial over beats.

  • Officer Ricky

    I don’t know if its just Harlem or straight up New York aggins. Everything whack in Hip Hop just seems to be magnified at one thousand trillion when you’re out here. Sorry to beat a dead horse but nuthuggin denim and a pair of ACG’s!!!! I cannot stand these buffons all looking the same!!

    Best damn post for Hip Hop week. Had me dying!!

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @Officer Ricky, its just easier to blame Harlem. Harlem is responsible for Cam’ron, Jim Jones, Puffy, and Mase.

      just with those 4 names there’s A WHOLE lot to apologize for.

      • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com blackberry molasses

        @Panama Jackson,
        co-signage

      • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com blackberry molasses

        @Panama Jackson,
        co-signage

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @Officer Ricky, its just easier to blame Harlem. Harlem is responsible for Cam’ron, Jim Jones, Puffy, and Mase.

      just with those 4 names there’s A WHOLE lot to apologize for.

  • Officer Ricky

    I don’t know if its just Harlem or straight up New York aggins. Everything whack in Hip Hop just seems to be magnified at one thousand trillion when you’re out here. Sorry to beat a dead horse but nuthuggin denim and a pair of ACG’s!!!! I cannot stand these buffons all looking the same!!

    Best damn post for Hip Hop week. Had me dying!!

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