(Ya know, aside from all the social ills that so many people erroneously attribute to hip-hop.)
1. The Diplomats
They’ve singlehandedly crafted or perpetuated more horrendous trends than anybody: grown men wearing effeminate colors, looking dirty on purpose, “no homo”, non-sensical wordplay, etc.
And above all else, they are responsible for the ascent of Jim Jones who is responsible for everything wrong in the Black community. In fact, everything else on this list is Jim Jones fault.
2. Vibe Magazine
I may never get a mention by Danyel Smith after this, but for whatever reason, some people actually look to Vibe for hip-hop news and their WACK-AS-THE-F*CK Best Rapper Alive Tourney Bracket was the biggest miscarriage of justice since Dwight Howard’s technical for being happy to poo all over Verajao. Vibe owes hip-hop an apology for putting Bow Wow on the list and making Wale have to mother*cking play-in.
3. Diddy’s twittering
I think I hate Diddy right now and his million follower goal made me want to slap him with the Life After Death double album. By the way, I follow Diddy on Twitter. After all, Diddy is…hip-hop.
4. Oversensitivity, which is supposed to be the anti-thesis of hip-hop
If the kids look up to rappers, and rappers are acting like p*ssies, then our male offspring will presumably begin to act like p*ssies – which could clearly explain the uber-sensitivity that has been going around in the black community. The number one killer of black man is not diabetes, stroke, or heart disease.
It is lack of respect. The assumption of lack of respect comes from the overabundance of sensitivity and instigators wanting to witness the sensitivity. Sensitive thugs, you all need hugs.
5. Bad Nicknames
Gucci Mane, OJ Da Juiceman, Trick Daddy, Rick Ross (when the real drug kingpin Rick Ross is getting out of jail), Freeway (see Rick Ross), Papoose (what the f*ck is a Papoose anyway?), etc.
Because of hip-hop, a grown man can be referred to as Tangle Jig P Boo-Boo and nobody thinks twice about it.
6. Spencer Pratt’s burgeoning rap career
You know what, he doesn’t sound terrible. You know why? It’s because he’s mimicking every other craptastic rapper out nowadays. He sounds like the status quo. Somehow, his rap career became an actual possibility.
7. Pure ignorance
XXL: One of the things that was eye-catching about the book was the graphical treatment, how some words are emphasized and bold and right in your face. It kinda reminds me of a book I’m sure you’re familiar with, Saul Williams’ “Said The Shotgun To The Head.” What was the reasoning…
Kanye (West) : You know what, I’m not familiar with no books. I don’t know no books, dead ass. That’s what we wrote in the beginning. I didn’t read 48 Laws [of Power], I never read “The Secret.” And Saul Williams is a good friend of mine, but I’m sorry…you know what? There are people who are genius designers that don’t know any other designers’ names.
Then again, he is the college dropout. So who am I to be surprised he “don’t know no books“?
8. Horrible and unintelligible slang
The best slang is obvious, not some over the top intentionally stupid stuff like some of the stuff that comes out of the (Father forgive me), Bay area. ESPECIALLY the Bay area. It’s gotten to the point where even black people don’t know what anybody is talking about anymore.
It used to be that when folks were making up shit, you didn’t have to spend weeks trying to learn it. It all made sense in the context of sentences or verses. To understand some rappers, you need to take a damn class. I already have 2 degrees so f*ck that very much.
Apologies are warranted.
The color, not the singer. Yes, The Dips hip-hop should apologize for introducing pink into hood culture making it possible for me to be held up by a guy wearing a ski mask and a pink polo shirt on it. This is a problem for me. I just don’t feel comfortable being robbed by a man in pink. I just don’t. This is Harlem’s fault. Lots of bad things come out of Harlem, if you think about it.
10. Lupe Fiasco’s acclaim
Able lyricist with remarkably strange concepts at times (perhaps I’m not deep enough for him – I’m lying, you are full of sh*t if you thinks song about being a hamburger was deep), yet somehow, rap is so bad that people think Lupe is the next coming of Inspectah Deck’s first verse on “Triumph” which is by far one of the best, and most well known, verses in hip-hop (right after Rob Bases’s first verse on “It Takes Two”). Lupe is a beneficiary of wack times.
So, for what else does hip-hop owe an apology??
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD 3