Race & Politics, Theory & Essay

The Anatomy Of A Nag

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I’m lazy.

Not lazy in a way that has had an effect (well, a serious effect) on my professional or personal life. In fact, considering what I do for a living, some may even consider me industrious and ambitious. (ha!) I’m also pretty punctual, and I’m annoyed by people who are not. (After you read the next few paragraphs, this paragraph is going to seem like a paradox. It’s not. But it will seem like it.)

My laziness is more intentional. It manifests when I just don’t believe that certain tasks need done in a timely and/or thorough manner. Basically, if you need me to help you move into a new place tomorrow morning, I’m there. But, if you need me to help you move a couch from your living room to your dining room, well, I’ll get there when I get there.

Since the majority of my male friends also share some variant of this trait, this laziness has never been an issue for them. If asked, they’d probably (well, maybe) even say that it’s proof of my character.

Unsurprisingly, this has been an issue with every woman I’ve ever seriously dated.

My girlfriend and I have a tacit agreement where she buys, prepares, cooks, and serves all of the food. My tasks? Take out the garbage and take care of the dishes. (I know this is a pretty good deal. My barber once told me that the key to happiness is to find pretty good deals and keep them. This is why he’s still my barber despite the fact that I hate the way he cuts my hair.)

Because I hate the way garbage smells, I have no problem with the first one.

The dishes, though? I try to make sure the dishes are done before I go to bed. Sometimes, I try harder than others. Sometimes I don’t try at all. I know I’ll get them done. Eventually. But, there just isn’t much difference between a dish done at 10:30 pm and a dish done at 10:30 am the next morning.

Actually, let me rephrase that. There isn’t much difference in my mind between a dish done at 10:30 pm and a dish done at 10:30 am the next morning. In my girlfriend’s mind, however, this is an insult. A discourtesy. A war crime. An act against God. A fart in mother nature’s mouth. She is to “dishes in the morning” what Kanye West is to “leather jogging pants.” (Don’t ask.)

Naturally, she’ll occasionally make her annoyance known. And—and I don’t know why I do this, so don’t bother asking—this makes me even more apathetic. But, while the apathy was true before—I’d honestly just forget about them—it somehow becomes intentional. I do the dishes, but I’ll do them so, um, unthoroughly that, well, it eventually leads to yellow post-it notes behind our kitchen sink.

This thoughtful nag was captured by my cousin when she came to our apartment last week. She thought it was cute, and decided to post it to her Instagram account. I think it’s a cute reminder of why my girlfriend—who I love dearly—is kinda, sorta, f*cking crazy.

But, as much as it pains me to admit this, the nag is a direct result of my selective laziness. Which I do not intend to change. Which, if true, also kinda, sorta means the nagging must not bother me that much.

I’ll never actually admit that to her, though. Can’t give her the satisfaction. And, even if I wanted to, I just don’t feel like doing it. My laziness has integrity.

—Damon Young (aka “The Champ”)

Filed Under:
Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a contributing editor for EBONY.com. He resides in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes.

  • DG

    Well, at least she gave you the happy face at the end of the Post it…the happy face takes the sting off.

    • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com/ Tristan

      happy face makes it beyond sarcastic

    • WIP

      i thought it was cute.

  • Tx10inch

    Dishes are my kryptonite. If you ask me to do them I will clutch my chest and promptly fall to my knees in agony. Oh, also cooking, cleaning and well….virtually anything that doesn’t involve taking out the trash and killing bugs. #TeamCaveman

    • Oshun

      basically anything to do with the domestics is your kryptonite…..welll, Madam must be one tired woman!

      • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

        Right?! What if Lady Tx wants some time to relax and not do those things.

        • Oshun

          girrrrl, she out here domesticating on top of that she getting all those inches, I mean, ghatdamn! She must be one TIREEEEEEEEEEEEEEED woman! I pity her….

          • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

            I envy her

            • Yoles

              right… as long as he is doing all the man stuff i will do the woman stuff all while humming, wearing heels and a pearl necklace ;)

              • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                what kind of pearl necklace are YOU wearing??????

                • Yoles

                  whichever one my man wants to give me

                  • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                    *clutches pearls (actual jewelry) and gasps*

                    • Yoles

                      sharp intake of breath at certain crucial moments can drown a chick… be careful AP

                    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                      it’s too late for this and I don’t have anymore AAA batteries. Good night.

                    • JayIzUrGod

                      *cues drums*

                      That’s all for tonight folks, thank you all for a lovely evening.

                    • Todd

                      I like how you think Yolie-chan :D Though I prefer kidnapping. ;-) (Shouts to TUK)

              • Tx10inch

                *Gets on one knee*

                • Yoles

                  i accept! and of course you can bring lady tx with us cause i share and care

                  dun, dun, dundun, dun, dun, dundun

                  • Tx10inch

                    How do you feel about moving to Utah?

                    i kid, i kid. -_-

                    • Yoles

                      i’ve been polyamorous since my very first day on vsb…
                      make note chexy texy

                    • JayIzUrGod

                      Didn’t we just recently have this conversation? *smacks hand*

                      Bad Yoles! Bad Yoles!

                    • Yoles

                      what? huh?
                      #bornbad

                    • JayIzUrGod

                      If you’re born bad, then I expect a 2 hour video documentation of you bad antics with other people.

                    • Yoles

                      any and all video documentation must be gotten from @sahel, he has them all

                    • JayIzUrGod

                      Gotdamnit that scheming son of a gun

                    • Tx10inch

                      Duly noted.

              • JayIzUrGod

                Man made pearl necklace or nature-made pearl necklace? The difference is in the details.

                • Yoles

                  all the necklaces!
                  #ImWorthIt

                  • JayIzUrGod

                    I’m more and more proud of you errrrrday.

              • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com/ Tristan

                homewrecker lmao

                • Yoles

                  sharing is not equal to home wrecking…

                  YOU LIE

                  • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com/ Tristan

                    what if she doesnt keep up…theres always a pecking order

                    • Yoles

                      everyone has their strengths and weaknesses… places are naturally found

              • Todd

                Yolie…marry me…PLEASE! Or at least be a Godmother. Something. I need help!

              • Rachmo

                CHURCH! If you’ll take out my trash I will happily do dishes

          • Tx10inch

            LOL. you kill me errtime gurl…

      • Tx10inch

        Pretty much…I believe in traditional roles and have no problem wit owning it. She cooks, cleans, freaks, etc and I’ll mow tha lawn or some ish…But actually, If she’s tired after a long day, I don’t mind helping around tha house. It’s when you EXPECT me too that things might need discussing.

        • Oshun

          Oh yes, your traditonalist ways are well documented on here. I knows how you roll. If it works for you and madam, that’s all that matters.

          • Tx10inch

            Damn right. I’ll whip you into shape too. :-)

            • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

              (0_o)

              Dear heavenly fathuh…….

              • Yoles

                i’m saying, all i could think when i read that was would the whipping/spanking be done with the ruler or what??

                • Oshun

                  I don’t want his ruler…there are other rulers of interest.

              • Rachmo

                This man…I cannot

            • Oshun

              nope! WWIII would erupt….

        • Todd

          Well, I’m the Leader Of the New School. A One Man Band even. Riding with my top down. With my jewelry on. Hey, Just getting my hood on. :)

        • WIP

          “traditional roles”…what woman volunteered us for dishes and cleaning?

          • LMNOP

            Eve

            • WIP

              I don’t remember reading that scripture…

              • LMNOP

                It’s in the invisible ink section of genesis.
                Actually the bible is seriously full of passages about how women should submit to, obey and serve their husbands. No references that I know of specifically spelling out dish washing arrangements, but I wouldn’t rule it out, it’s a very long book.

          • http://daratmathis.wordpress.com/ dtafakari

            I get it…but iont get it. lol.

  • Inspector Ratchet

    Good post, Champ. I’m siding with your cousin on this one. THIS type of nag is cute. THIS I don’t mind. It’s the “other” kind of nagging that is bad. The one that involves yelling, interupting whatever you’re watching on tv, and holding the Nani hostage until you get your sh** together.

    This type of nagging is the cause of such things as the dinosaurs becoming extinct, Pluto being demoted from planetary status, Gucci Mane’s lips remaining forever crusty (seriously, I’m a firm believer that he licks his lips and then sleeps with his head in the freezer right afterwards), etc.

    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

      Ayyyyy bay bayyy

      • Inspector Ratchet

        What it do, shawty?

        • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

          Everyone thought you died.

          • Inspector Ratchet

            Lol, quit playin.

            • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

              I told people you was alive, they ain’t believe me though. But as they can clearly see, you’s alive and shid.

            • Yoles

              you have been missed sweetie… i even got twitter, so i could make sure you’re ok
              @OnlyYolie

              • Inspector Ratchet

                Well thanks Yoles. Though, I be on Twitter sporatically. Aside from being chased and shot literally about 2 weeks ago, I’m fine.

                • Yoles

                  what.the.entire.fvck????? TUK i think its time for us to discuss your relocation plans… i don’t even want to know the story i am just so glad you made it out ok…

                  what is your twitter handle so i can keep a sporadic eye on you?

                  • Inspector Ratchet

                    @SixHourErection

                    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                      That doesn’t sound healthy at all….

                    • Val

                      That’s an adverse side effect not a twitter address.

                    • Inspector Ratchet

                      It’s not a side effect, though…

                    • Todd

                      Though used properly on a heterosexual woman, side effects may include sore genitals, weak limbs and a permanent smile on her face. :)

                • JayIzUrGod

                  Do we have to do a Black Hawk Down scenario and rescue you? Because we will. Yoles is very convincing in these kinds of affairs

          • Oshun

            *tears*!! waiiii?!?!

          • Tx10inch

            I know right? What tha deal homie?

    • Oshun

      my crater inducing lover!! :) nice to see ya.

      Slayed @ the gucci comment.

    • JayIzUrGod

      That could be the reason he always says BRRRR! in his raps…gotdamnit I think you solved the mystery!

    • Val

      *waves*

      • Yoles

        Val!!!!!
        you.are.lovely
        me gustas

        • Val

          Thanks, Yolie. :-)

      • http://tripsixes.com/ Trip

        Val you are stunning :)

        • Val

          Thanks, Trip.

        • Tx10inch

          What’s errrbody gawkin at?

          • Yoles

            val gave face… and i must say it is very, very nice… then she took it away

            • Tx10inch

              I missed it? Val pls repost. I wanna see too.

            • Todd

              How dare I sleep!

            • http://TheNewEve.com/ Bunni

              Sonofabish I missed Val face!!! I know shes hot, I just know it #daydreams

              • http://daratmathis.wordpress.com/ dtafakari

                but look at the new Bunni avi!

            • http://daratmathis.wordpress.com/ dtafakari

              dangit! I missed it too!

    • BreezyX2

      *screams* TUK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I missedededed (yes all of those ed’s) you!!!!

    • LMNOP

      Thanks for commenting TUK! We worry.

  • Jim L Fultz

    Naw bro! I just can’t do it. My wife has a nag that’s similar to running finger nails across a chalk board. Itry my best to avoid it.

  • Val

    Are you too lazy to buy a dishwasher? Then all you have to do is load and press a button. Problem solved. Thank me later.

    • Oshun

      Good GOD ALMIGHTY!! VAL you are soooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO STUNNINGLY BEAUTIFUL!!
      them brows are on point, and that smile….shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiid!!!!!!!

      • Yoles

        i know right… @disqus_QGKOTi1oX5:disqus just opened herself up for #catcallthurs/fri… too pretty

        • Val

          :-)

      • Val

        Thanks, AM. :-)

        • Tx10inch

          *channels 5 yr old* I wanna see too…

          • Val

            Lol Okay.

            • Tx10inch

              *Taps fingers impatiently*

              • Val

                You didn’t just see it? I just posted it. Okay. I’ll post it again.

                • Oshun

                  Val, just LEAVE it!! Do you model? If no, you should.

                  • Val

                    Nah, I comment all over the place and I don’t really want trolls around the internets seeing me. Nope, never modelled. :-)

                • Tx10inch

                  Where are u posting it? Your avi doesn’t change.

                  • Val

                    It takes a few minutes for gravitar to change it. It should be up in a couple of minutes.

                    • Tx10inch

                      See it now. Umm, well….damn. How u gonna deny us men all dis right here? SELFISH. smh

                    • Val

                      Lol. I don’t know what to say to that. Except thanks. :-)

                    • Rachmo

                      Dammit I missed it. All I want to do is ogle you woman

                    • JayIzUrGod

                      Agreed

                    • LMNOP

                      But TX, think of all the men you’re denying those 10 inches to.

                    • Tx10inch

                      I’d rathernot….

                  • Val

                    See it?

                    • Tx10inch

                      Niiice.

              • http://tripsixes.com/ Trip

                make sure to refresh your browser if it doesn’t show

                • Tx10inch

                  All I see are a set of eyeballs!

                  • http://tripsixes.com/ Trip

                    yea same here, as of this post.

      • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com/ Tristan

        i missed val in all her glory…..no love for the full night sleeep vsbs

    • JayIzUrGod

      How about we hire love slaves to do dishes?

      • Val

        Nah, dishwashers are more reliable.

        • JayIzUrGod

          Ahhh i like them, but I’m always amused by the tension dishes make between two people

    • Sahel

      Your avi is nice but mine will crash VSB so i cant put it up

      • Oshun

        crash as in? you that fugly? I mean that’s the only reason I could come up with as to why a site would crash…

    • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com/ Tristan

      see how that water bill is set up…

      • http://daratmathis.wordpress.com/ dtafakari

        you know?! I thought it was just me. My mama didn’t let us use the dishwasher so we wouldn’t ‘run up her water bill.’

    • WIP

      the dishwasher doesn’t resolve everything. then you got the unloading and loading (nobody wants to unload). people taking stuff out the dishwasher even though the dishwasher clearly didn’t get all the food off. the places i’ve lived without a dishwasher probably had less “dish drama.” actually, i think the dishwasher makes it worse because you have more of an option to let the dishes linger.

    • SuperStrings

      Wait, two eyes? Awwww shoot.

  • Oshun

    Dishes in my house HAVE to be washed THOROUGHLY. If you can’t or are unwilling to do it, leave it to me. There is absolutely no reason why dishes should have any sort of grease/dirt on them. Uh uh! Also, if there is going to be dirty dishes overnight, any leftovers have to be emptied in the garbage, then the dishes need to be hosed down a little bit, and stacked up accordingly. At the end of the day, if this qualifies as naggification behavior/syndrome I embrace it with pride, lust and confidence.

    • Tx10inch

      Sounds reasonable.

    • JayIzUrGod

      I can work with that.

    • Geneva Girl

      You’re alright in my book!

    • Rachmo

      Yeah I’ll leave dishes overnight AFTER I scrape off the food

      • LMNOP

        Or if they’re soaking, they’ll come clean easily later.

      • 321mena123

        Not gonna lie, i have left chicken bones on a plate until the next morning. This is after walking right by the trash. LOL.

        • Rachmo

          I have put a plate in the fridge before bc I didn’t feel like doing the dishes. That way there’s no smell. #livingalone

          • Val

            I’m such a pest-a-phobe that I actually have a plastic bag for food scraps in the freezer as I don’t want food scraps in my trash cans in the house, since they might attract some kind of creepy crawlers.

            • Rachmo

              That’s a damn good idea

            • Yoles

              VAL… me too… its kept in the fridge not freezer though…

              #twins

              • Val

                I feel better knowing I’m not the only one. Lol

            • Ms. Bridget

              *raises hand* me too! It’s kept in the freezer.

        • Val

          I can hear the local DC mice talking now, “Hey, there’s this lady who leaves chicken bones out on a plate for us at night, we gotta stop by soon.” Lol

          • 321mena123

            LOL.

      • Oshun

        girl, that’s the way to go. otherwise you may find a huge rat camped in your sink.

  • Yoles

    i am very far from a nag but things that may have a negative effect on my living space (i.e. roaches, mice and other things that will thrive off over night dirty dishes) are a no go… and the purposeful bad wash job would result in a complete breakdown in the harmonious living we had before…

    you don’t wanna brush your teeth before you eat when you wake up -fine
    you don’t wanna do laundry until you have nothing clean left to wear -fine
    you don’t wanna iron your clothes before going to work -fine
    you wanna eat in front of the tv – fine
    you don’t wanna use plates you just wanna eat out the pots -fine
    you wanna step out of your clothes at the end of the day to pick them up at the end of the week -fine

    BUT YOU WILL NOT LEAVE DIRTY DISHES IN MY SINK OVERNIGHT

    the note isn’t crazy, its her trying to work with you… but as mi mami says, a man that doesn’t work, doesn’t eat

    • JayIzUrGod

      Half of that just sounds like horrible hygiene choices that will get someone 86’d real quick.

    • Val

      “you don’t wanna use plates you just wanna eat out the pots -fine”

      Lol!

      • Yoles

        see @disqus_QGKOTi1oX5:disqus i compromise but like i said your actions can not cause the infestation of my home…

        __________________________________ line drawn

        • Val

          I’m totally with you about the pests. I can’t live around anything with more than two legs.

        • hmmm

          Coming out of lurk mode….Yoles is Nillalatte Tx10in’s woman??

          • LMNOP

            she already said no. I’m keeping track lol

            • Oshun

              thank you for doing this!! :) you truly are a blessing, lmao!

          • Yoles

            i don’t wanna start nothing but i have it on good authority that lady tx already told us no and she is lying… i would like to tell her that she ain’t got ta lie to kick it!

            • Rachmo

              Yeah I’ve have narrowed it down and accepted her lie

              • LMNOP

                Wait, so yall are telling me people LIE on the internet?!?! Nooooo

                • Rachmo

                  I’m not even Black

                  • LMNOP

                    And I’m not really a bubble. Next you’re going to tell me you don’t even know what excel is…

          • Oshun

            no she is not.

        • Todd

          Hey, I need help with some infestation stuff. Text me please!

          • Yoles

            i’m not the orkin man todd… prevention is better than a cure…

            • CHATTYPATTY

              You are hilarious!!!

              • Yoles

                thank you, thankyouverymuch
                tip your waitress
                i’m here all week

    • Val

      What about showers before bed, Yolie? That’s one of my pet peeves.

      • 321mena123

        Really? I take mine in the morning since i go to the gym before work.

        • Camilleblu

          I take one at night and one in the morning #squeakyclean

          • LMNOP

            Wow. Does that dry your skin out and make you itchy? Or is that just a myth? When I’ve lived places without air conditioning in the summer I take like 4 showers a day to cool off.

            • http://missrosen.wordpress.com/ esa

              it depends on the soap. those processed chemicals going into your largest organ just like that, we are literally consuming chemicals with open pores.

              • http://TheNewEve.com/ Bunni

                hence why cook my own damb soap and lotion and balm. I do not have time tryna decode the shyt in my soap. I cant pronounce it, but you want me to wash my box with it?? nahhhhh

              • LMNOP

                I use goats milk soap, which is pretty good to my skin, but I think if I showered twice a day, I’d just rinse with water one of the times.

                • http://missrosen.wordpress.com/ esa

                  ~ I’d just rinse with water one of the times.

                  thas how i wash my hair. i use shampoo maybe once a week, maybe less. shampoo has actually been shown to cause the thinning of hair because of the chemicals it contains ..

                  • LMNOP

                    You know what gets you clean without drying your skin? Taking a bath with a little bit of oil in it. I don’t do it that often, but when I do I feel really clean and soft and just generally amazing.

                    • http://missrosen.wordpress.com/ esa

                      my blue heaven ~*~ i use almond oil and essence of bergamot and i feel like i am steeping in a big hot mug of Early Grey tea ~*~

            • http://TheNewEve.com/ Bunni

              Camille uses my products, no such issue with dryness lol :-)

              • LMNOP

                Where do you sell your stuff?

                • http://TheNewEve.com/ Bunni

                  online, link in my bio….Camille and Sigma Since can give you honest reviews :-)

                  • LMNOP

                    Oh nice, I like that the link will show up whenever I click your name. Then I wont have to ask you again when I actually have money to spend. Convenient. Soap would be great Christmas presents, everybody needs it.

                    • http://TheNewEve.com/ Bunni

                      im always here when ya need me, and everything i make can be customized by scent and ingredient :-)

            • Camilleblu

              Girl…my skin has been a bit dry here lately, but overall, I’m good. But I honestly think it’s just genes because good skin runs in my family. But summertime?? -yeah…so with you on the 4 showers a day. Oh, and yes, I’ve started using @Bunni’s products and am very pleased :) I’m going to be ordering more from her shortly because I want to try out her entire line.

      • BreezyX2

        MINE TOO!!! Uggh, I need clean bodies laying on my linen.

      • Yoles

        i only insist on showers before bed if they are needed… do you have a dirty job? go to the gym after work? are a sweaty person? work in a hospital? etc…

        • Val

          Yeah, if you work at a hospital you need to take a shower the second you walk in the door.

          • Vesalius

            They should definitely change their clothes at work and shower (at work or at home) after work.

    • Abu Husain

      Can I just rinse them out and finish in the morning though?

      • Yoles

        but abu if you rinsed them you might as well do them one time… right… that way we have more free time in bed in the morning
        *bats eyelashes and lays back down*

        • Kema

          *takes notes* So thats how you get it done…

        • Abu Husain

          You win.
          *scrubs dishesvigorously

        • Breazy Taylor

          My girlfriend is famous for this, instead of washing her dish, fork or knife if she’s at home by herself, she’ll just wash it off, just to put it in the dishwasher. 0_O that makes no damn sense to me.

    • Kinghenry2007

      if it wasn’t of the roaches, I probably would not wash them lol

      • Yoles

        whatever your reason, at least they are done… and we go to bed happy

        • Kinghenry2007

          simples

    • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com/ Tristan

      dont eat out my pot tho…if i took time to cook u not about to just sample it like its some new sh t at the supermarket

      • Yoles

        i hate ppl in my pots, so much that i don’t even let dudes serve themselves but I’m so willing to compromise in order to make sure that dirty dishes won’t stay in my sink that i will allow pot eating to happen…
        #sacrifices

        • Oshun

          I LOVE serving. There is a certain gratification I get from attending to others and having their needs (in this case, food) met.

          • Yoles

            me too

          • Rachmo

            For me it’s an instant ego boost

    • Todd

      Well, apparently, I married someone who thought otherwise. Seriously, she loves her garbage, and asking her to clean is perceived as a bigger threat than me trying to beat her a$$.

    • Michelle

      Yoles, you would hate my ex-boyfriend’s existence.
      There was a times when he would leave a sinkful of dishes in his kitchen… For weeks. Plus, he would constantly throw silverware in the trash by accident.

      • Yoles

        he sounds like he needs jesus, and intervention, a lesson and some other shyt, how did you deal with dirty dishes for weeks… that smells, breeds flies, encourages roaches and mice… how did you deal????????

        • Michelle

          First, I told him that he needed to clean up after himself. I was nice…at first.
          Then after experiencing my eighth seesion of the game “What’s That Smell?!: Kitchen Edition”, I had became a nag. A screeching, insulting banshee of a nag.
          Then, towards the tail-end of our relationship, I was washing the dishes. I didn’t say anything to him. I just cleaned up after him.
          It wasn’t until we were broken up that I learned that he was raised by a nasty mother and nasty grandmother.

          PSA: Parents, teach your kids about keeping their domains clean and tidy.

          • Yoles

            :(
            i am so glad you got out of that

        • http://TheNewEve.com/ Bunni

          This dude i worked with invited us all to his house for drinks….harmless, right? No. It was one of those houses where you dont take off your coat, dont sit on the couch, and you watch that ONE roach crawl across the tv screen while he tries to pretend hes never seen a roach in his house before. Then it got worse….one of our coworkers screamed from the kitchen, we ran in–she had opened a pizza box and a VILLAGE OF ROACHES came pouring out…..girlll, we damb near all climbed into the same cab and never turned back!!!!!

          • Yoles

            i rebuke you and your stories!!!!!!!!!!!

            • http://TheNewEve.com/ Bunni

              dont you downvote me for my sermon on the dangers of filth life!!

              • Yoles

                see you knew it was my down vote… it still stands…
                #stopfilth

                • http://TheNewEve.com/ Bunni

                  i can tell its your downvote a mile away….i be knowin Yolie!!!

                  • Yoles

                    look at someone trying to set me up and down voting your sporadic psychic prowess…

      • Rachmo

        DID YOU SAY FOR WEEKS? No. Just NO! Glad ya’ll are done.

      • Val

        Lol @ throwing silverware in the trash! How does that happen?

        • Yoles

          they get stuck to the dishes and in cups …. stuck on by dirt, grease and grime

          :(

          • Val

            Yikes.

      • Ilka Missb

        I’m usually just in lurking mode but this here is worth coming out… Girl, let me tell you about my ex, he left a pot on the stove for WEEKS and when I went to clean t it was FULL of maggots.

        I died and resurrected… Even his trash had maggots, and I figured, if this is how you keep your place, then I don’t want to know what else you got going on!

        And I’m a neat freak, (that’s what men call us ladies cause we like our ish clean, you know), so needless to say, he’s now my ex.

        • BreezyX2

          Your picture doe…LOL!

          Know that nasty ex bf needed to be pimped slapped. That is crazy!!!! Stop lurking

        • Rachmo

          Oooohhh my sweet God.

        • Yoles

          this topic has me all in my feelings…

          i’m so glad you got away

          WELCOME!!! please stay and continue to post

          • Ilka Missb

            Thank you! :)

        • Camilleblu

          I would have beenscreaming at the top of my lungs….and prolly would have ran into a vd@mn wall trying to get out of the kitchen YUCK!!

        • Deeds

          Ewwww…reading that just made me shake with so much disgust.

        • LMNOP

          MAGGOTS????? Oh my God! My eye is crazily twitching over here just thinking about it.

        • Ilka Missb

          The struggle was real! To this day I still look around for maggots anywhere I am, them chits is dangerous!

          It was like a horror movie!

      • http://TheNewEve.com/ Bunni

        my recent ex bf used a washrag for his dishes…never wrung it out….i swear, you could smell the staleness before you even entered the kitchen….and he was SOOOOO cool with leaving pots full of food on the stove for dayssss……I didnt like staying at his place, and cooking there was a ghatdamn nightmare #LetsEatOutForTheLoveOfGodPLEASE

        • Yoles

          y’all know TOO DAMN MANY NASTY PEOPLE!!!!!!!
          ..@disqus_ZiXVPIulwQ:disqus please fix their lives!!!!! thx

        • Oshun

          Now that’s that kind of bullshit I don’t like.

          • http://TheNewEve.com/ Bunni

            It was so filthy. **shudders**

    • Animate

      Eat out of pots? What kind of savagery is this?

      • BreezyX2

        LMBO!!

      • Yoles

        the kind i will compromise to in order to avoid the savagery of stinky, smelly, dirty dishes in my sink overnight

  • http://tripsixes.com/ Trip

    If something has to be done a specific way, at a specific time, then whoever requires it does it. This doesn’t mean I sit around with no responsibilities, but if it’s THAT important to you, make yourself happy- Don’t nag me about it because I’ll let you know from go that I don’t play that. It’s one of those couple dynamics that’s so unnecessary.

  • JayIzUrGod

    A very good friend of mine used to be my roommate in MD for 3 years. He was absolutely disgusting, to the point where all of my mother’s nagging in my teenage years somehow took over my body and was reenacted by me against him for all 3 of those years. So at this point of life…dishes are the last thing I’m worried about.

    Passive aggressive nagging….cute at first, but should the day come where you look at her lovingly as she sleeps but are holding a pillow very close to her head at the very same time….well I think we then realize when enough is enough. Just be straight up and I’m all good.

    • Oshun

      passive aggressiveness is just so urrgh! Just say it already and let’s fight if need be!

      • http://tripsixes.com/ Trip

        sigh… communication…it shouldn’t be that hard right?

        • JayIzUrGod

          It shouldn’t, and yet nobody wants to be the bad guy but everyone can’t be the good guy.

          • http://tripsixes.com/ Trip

            I’ll be the bad guy (and I’m single so there’s that)

            • JayIzUrGod

              I say the same, until those days when I just want to chill and be happy. Then being a d*ck doesn’t work in my favor.

              • http://tripsixes.com/ Trip

                I hear that, but I have it easy right now by default ;)

                • JayIzUrGod

                  Ahhh I remember them days. I got to play it smart or i’ll be living them again.

                  • http://tripsixes.com/ Trip

                    Sounds like you got something real. I’d put in work for that any day. (work =/= nag management)

                    • JayIzUrGod

                      I wish people would openly talk more anout how much work is required for relationships instead of the universal assumption that relationships are a birthright. That’s why i work with her, because we both realize we don’t know sh*t.

                    • 321mena123

                      You’re my homie!

                    • JayIzUrGod

                      Homies fa aho Mena Mena!

                      *bear hugs*

                    • http://missrosen.wordpress.com/ esa

                      i find learning from men about how the see and process the world to be the best best best part of relationships ~*~ can be humbling as fukk but inspiring ~*~

                    • JayIzUrGod

                      I find it to be very eye opening to see things from a woman’s perspective, at the same time i pride myself on trying to make a difference between my feelings and reality, and many people don’t have that skill going for them

                    • http://missrosen.wordpress.com/ esa

                      ~ at the same time i pride myself on trying to make a difference between my feelings and reality

                      this is admirable. props !

                    • JayIzUrGod

                      My sister once told me something someone else told her:

                      Feelings aren’t facts. Facrs are facts.

                      So i try to keep that in mind

                    • http://missrosen.wordpress.com/ esa

                      to feel is a fact, but the only fact is that we feel. being an empath, i’ve come to understand that pure feeling is one of the few things we ever truly know, and it is pure feeling that bonds people together like nothing else in the Universe.

                      what i am slowly coming to learn is .. interpretation is where things go awry. feeling is mutually exclusive of meaning, and when we attach meaning to feeling, we begin the slippery slope downhill. i’m sure i am saying the same thing you just said, with a lot more words ~*~

                    • JayIzUrGod

                      Still poetry nonetheless my dear

                  • Val

                    Speaking of which, when is the big day, Rewind?

                    • JayIzUrGod

                      No idea yet, trying yo handle a bunch of personal matters first, otherwise we are screwed. But soon enough, I’m thinking good thoughts.

                    • Rachmo

                      If you ever need wedding websites I’m your woman :-)

                    • JayIzUrGod

                      You will be my wedding planner since you’re good with numbers and sh*t

      • JayIzUrGod

        I have my own passive aggressive issues, which is then why I hate when I deal with anyone being passive aggressive to me…its like UGH! Why are we such p*ssies???

  • Tia_Sunny

    It should be 50/50 when it comes to cleaning and cooking between men and women, men nag too, I have no one to nag to so I just nag to myself.