The 10 Most Dangerous Types Of Supposedly “Cool” White People » VSB

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The 10 Most Dangerous Types Of Supposedly “Cool” White People

While it goes without saying that there are some legitimately cool and sincere and empathetic White people out there (#notallwhitepeople — shout out to all the “White Mikes” and “White Kims“), there are also some supposedly “cool-ass” and “good” White folks we’d be wise to keep our eyes on; whose pervasive aintshitness is subtle, hidden under a layer of smiles, bean casseroles, invitations to dinner parties, artificial allydom, and even, occasionally, post-dusk fellatio. Maybe they sit in the cubicle behind you. Maybe they’re in the bar, standing right next to you. Shit, maybe they’re in your bed, laying right beside you. Either way, while Get Out did the Lord’s work in shining a spotlight on some of them, there are quite few more that deserve the same attention.

1. The Point-Seeking Progressive

You know the type. Loud as a motorbike about how he “campaigned for Obama” and “Skyped from Ferguson” and “learned how to make curry goat.” Which, admittedly, are all great things. Especially the curry goat. But his actions aren’t sincere, as he only does this to receive the social capital and status that comes with being a woke White dude. Which is revealed once you ignore the name-dropping and the dashikis in his closet and realize that the only reason he’s inviting you to the cookout is to auction you, er, show you off as his real-life Black friend.

2. Darth Becky With The Good Hair And The Jones For Black Dudes

No need to go in-depth about this type, as they’ve been discussed ad nauseum. We just need to remind the Darth Jamals out there that y’all’s affinity for transparently problematic White chicks is allowing racists to bare and raise y’all children.

3. Mr. Jagermeister

His name is Chad. Or Brad. Or Thad. Or Nad. And you’ll find him at the bar, ordering shot after shot after shot and asking you to take shot after shot after shot with him. “Duuuuuuuude….take a shot!” he says. And it’s funny, and would be even funnier if you weren’t the only Black person there and if his requests weren’t getting progressively more aggressive as he gets progressively more drunk. The “ask” has subtly turned into an order. And you sit back and wonder when this performative magnanimity is going to morph into menace.

4. George Bush

For every manager, supervisor, CEO, and former President of the United States who seems legitimately cool and funny and down-to-Earth until you remember all the fuckshit he did/does and seems to have no regrets about. (But he tells great jokes at parties, tho.)

5. Darth Susan

Will say good morning to you, cheese in your face, offer you some pretzel thins and hummus, ask you about your parents, invite you to lunch, and even show you pictures of her cats at the exact same time her duplicitous ass is typing an email to human resources about the exclamation point you used in an email last week and how it makes her fearful of her safety.

6. The “But What About Me?” Ally

You know how Aristotle believed that the center of the Earth is the center of the universe? And that gravity happens because objects are pulled to their natural place — which is the center of the Earth? Well, for this type of White person, everything that happens in the universe comes back to them. And is about them. And is about how what’s happening is making them feel. They are latte-sipping black holes, pumpkin spice event horizons morphing space and transmuting time to fit everything in their centers.

7. The Good Neighbor With The Shitty Politics

Maybe he lives on your block. Or maybe you see her at the same coffee shop every week. Either way, they’re a legitimately kind and nice person; someone you look forward to seeing and actually miss when they’re not there. And then, one day when you’re walking the dog, you saunter over to them to talk about what happened on Big Little Lies last night and maybe even tell them about the bomb-ass tulips you saw yesterday morning, and you catch them in a MAGA hat. And now you’re tempted to sic your dog on their fucking face.

8.  The Performatively Oblivious Perpetual Overstepper

Seems to take manifest destiny as their own personal edict, as they use “friendship” and curiosity as invitations to touch hair and skin, ask waaaaaaaay too forward questions, and even wonder aloud why they can’t say nigga. Nothing is off-limits or sacrosanct, because they never believe themselves to be guests, anywhere.

9. The “Only College” Sports Fan

Is great to hang out with, watch games with, and have heated debates about your favorite teams with. You’re especially excited about seeing him this week, as you know you’ll have a ton of fun talking about March Madness together. And everything is great as long as the conversation stays strictly about college sports. Because once you bring up pro sports — the NBA in particular — all of the coded language starts to come out. The “inmates run the asylum up there” he says, and the players are “lazy” and don’t care. And then, of course, “What about Chicago and black-on-black crime?” is right around the corner.

(And, if you really want to see how his mind really works, ask him whether college athletes should get paid. That should be fun.)

10. The Self-Flagellating And Lazy Liberal

Won’t actually do any social justice work in their own lives and won’t actually examine themselves to see how they contribute to and take advantage of bias and privilege, but will definitely share the shit out of piece from The Atlantic about racism on their social media platforms; ultimately believing that feeling really, really, really, really, really bad about racism is enough to replace actually doing something about it.

Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a columnist for GQ.com And he's working on a book of essays to be published by Ecco (HarperCollins). Damon is busy. He lives in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes. Reach him at damon@verysmartbrothas.com. Or don't. Whatever.

  • kingpinenut

    Number 2 is literally The Deuce

  • 9. The “Only College” Sports Fan

    I don’t watch the NBA regular season but has anyone ever met a black “I hate the NBA” guy?

    • Other_guy13

      I used to hate the NBA….then I discovered Kobe and the NBA playoffs.

      • Kas loves Jamaican Breakfast

        Kobe? Who are you?

        • LOL!!!

        • Lea Thrace

          QTNA

        • Other_guy13

          I like what I like

          • Kas loves Jamaican Breakfast

            And you wonder why these Becky rumors about you persist

            • Tam

              Some people are afraid to confront the truth

            • Other_guy13

              Let me live

              • Tam

                We are and we want you to be honest

    • HouseSublime

      Never in 30 years of life.

    • Lea Thrace

      Me too Wu. College Football is for me. Ill watch pro but not because I am a fan. Mostly because Im a hater (of all things Dallas and NE).

      • I really don’t watch regular season college basketball like that either. I’ll watch the College of Charleston and SC’s women’s squad but overall, nah. I’m all over football though.

        I still think black “I hate the NBA” guy hangs out with David Clarke and Ben Carson.

        • 90% of those dude’s Black friends are either law enforcement or military.

        • Lea Thrace

          i only watch basketball cause football is no longer on but even then its halfhearted attempt at watching. im definitely not a fan.

          Black Hate the NBA guy is a fucking unicorn.

    • BrothasKeeper

      Never in the history of ni66adom.

    • “I hate the NBA” is usually code for not wanting Black men to make money while playing ball. Notice that they never complain about the “tough” “gritty””hard working ” white players.

      • He’s got a high motor.

        • I remember that Kevin Love won some award for being a high effort player, and he straight up said during the press conference that it was the White guy award. Also, during my sports days, it was to my detriment to be a gritty player because it was thought of as playing like a White guy, instead of me being smart and not an elite athlete.

      • BrothasKeeper

        He’s a gamer.

      • Sigma_Since 93

        He’s a gym rat

      • Coaches kid.

    • Trill Mickelson

      Last year’s Finals was the first time I’d watched an NBA game in at least five years. I don’t “hate” it, I just think it’s mad boring, so I don’t watch it. I also think college basketball is boring too, although I do watch the tournament every year.

      (To be completely honest, if every sport other than college football and pro baseball was cancelled, I wouldn’t even notice.)

      • Kas loves Jamaican Breakfast

        Fed. Basketball is boring but baseball . . . Question, what’s the proper amount of seasoning to put in a green bean casserole?

        • Trill Mickelson

          I’m actually insulted by this, b. Just seeing the word “casserole” makes me gag.

          • Kas loves Jamaican Breakfast

            It was a trick question. Just making sure we hadn’t been infiltrated.

        • La Bandita

          Ask him how he uses the seasonings. I dont trust.

      • Lea Thrace

        if every sport other than college football was cancelled, I wouldn’t even notice. <—– this is me

      • I’ll watch the playoffs and follow certain players during the regular season but otherwise I’m good until April.

        College basketball seems to be over coached.

        • Sigma_Since 93

          “College basketball seems to be over coached.”

          Why do you think think this joke exists:

          Who is the only person to keep Michael Jordan under 20 pts per game?

          Dean Smith

  • cakes_and_pies

    2. That Offay who got real mad at her Darth Jamal baby’s father for giving their daughter a Black hairstyle and called him all out his name. When a #2 shows you who they are, believe them.

  • Jennifer

    We encountered #3 at HH last week. Drunk, middle-aged YT man offered my friend one of the shots on his table. To recap: a total stranger offered her liquor that had been pre-poured and randomly sitting on a table. She declined. He called her a racist. She returned to our table.

    He decided to redeem himself by offering a round of drinks to our table. Introduced himself as the “nicest motherfuckin’ white man around.” Go figure — we weren’t interested in his drinks (and we LOVE free drinks, y’all!), and he was offended. Proceeded to patronize us and tell us about how he has experiences with black people. We sent him away, ego crushed.

    He returned later and a little drunker and tried again. We declined again. He said he was just trying to be nice to my friend. We told him to pay it forward to someone else tomorrow. Patronized us again by listing all of the diverse places he has visited: a couple countries in the Caribbean, BROOKLYN. We sent him away again. He was still disgusted with our reaction. Mind you, he never apologized for insulting our friend.

    That was our encounter with Mitch Jagermeister, uncle of Brad.

    • Marceline

      The hardest word for some 2520s to hear is “no.”

      • especially from a person of colour – it hurts their heads

        • Wild Cougar

          They expect to be obeyed when they are so charitably using us to demonstrate how racist they are not. OBEY, blackie!

          • TheVilleintheA

            STOP! LOL

          • LMAO

          • PunchDrunkLove….my boo

            Cackles!

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            • Mela Us

              Girl bye!!!!

          • ComeonSense

            This has to be one of the funniest uses of this meme. I’m dying. So fucking true.

        • Amazonian Midget

          Which is why it thrills me to do so every single day at work.

    • Karine1976

      #3 are most of my colleagues after a couple of drinks if we are a few cities away from home.

    • Sigma_Since 93

      #3 Is why I don’t goto the office holiday party

      • Val

        All office holiday parties are a set up.

        • La Bandita

          I stand by the door. And sing TLC. And no I don’t want your number…. And no I won’t give you mine. And noooooo…

      • I try not to go. I don’t even talk about my coworkers at home.

      • Mary Burrell

        Me too

      • TheVilleintheA

        YUP. I stay in the house for St. Patrick’s Day I can’t deal with the possibility of a drunk close talking “Irish”

      • BenDover

        In South Africa, where the same exact nonsense happens with #3,we the black delegation work as a group. We collect ourselves into a group, choose a spot and congregate when #3 appears we change to the convo to vernacular – which is Zulu as most of us understand it. Chad has no choice but to bounce.

        • Islandpiratequeen

          In the Caribbean we use creole. Works like magic.

        • Mela Us

          I wish I can speak Zulu. I’m currently learning to speak my son and his father’s native tongue Ibibio.

          • BenDover

            Nice! keep doing it – get a language they can’t appropriate hehehehehehe

            • Vito LaBella

              “They?” Wow. Who is “They?” Guess “You people” don’t realize how you sound!

        • La Bandita

          Switch to espanol – real quick, especially helpful when you’re brown. Que te pasa bendeha?

          • Mochasister

            Vivo en California y tengo que tener mucho cuidado hablando mal de los gabachos. Algunos ya han aprendido el español para comunicarse con su novio/novia hispanohablante y su familia. Como ya tú sabes siempre quieren meterse en todo: “Oh, ¿qué dijiste? ¿Cómo aprendiste el español? ¿Puedes enseñarme a mí el español? ¡Coño!

            • La Bandita

              Tan gracioso. Pero ex era colombiano y quería que yo para ir a California y sus como el Bronx, todo el mundo habla español. Así que hay’s no sólo un determinado color de piel una palabra, así que sí tienes que tener cuidado o hablar spanglish – que ayuda.

    • Val

      Lol @ Brooklyn

      • I_AmU

        Exactly! Parts of Brooklyn are now so gentrified the street cred once attached to particular neighborhoods are null and void. SMDH

        • esa

          white folks walking down Biggie’s block last week looking soo confused.

          • I_AmU

            As if it’s normal!! Don’t get me started on Harlem.

            • La Bandita

              My exboss had a townhouse in Harlem. He would not shut up about living in Harlem.

              • I_AmU

                Here’s the trick to get people to stop speaking to you directly about anything: Look them directly in the eye showing nothing but disinterest. Don’t twist your mouth or make any non-verbal movement. Don’t say a word. Don’t move. Just stare as if a dead fish lives behind your eyes. So what it’s your boss. Granted some are so self-involved they won’t notice. They were giving away brownstones and townhomes away in Harlem during the late ’80’s and early ’90’s.

                • The sad thing is while a few Black people made a killing, it was mostly investors who made out with that.

                  • I_AmU

                    You’re telling no lie. They either held onto them as investment properties or flipped them. Most flipped and made out like the bandits they are.

    • Islandpiratequeen

      It’s not that diverse in the Caribbean tbh. A bunch of wipipo doing wipipo stuff in wipipo places so designated by wipipo. It’s not like they going to the neighborhood bar for a Heineken and some roast pork. Nah, they eating a burger at (insert white owned restaurant here).

      • Kas loves Jamaican Breakfast

        Now I want jerk pork. Thanks.

        • Islandpiratequeen

          You’re welcome.

        • Tam

          You were just in Jamaica, your wife is Jamaican I am sure you have some jerk seasoning around

          • Kas loves Jamaican Breakfast

            Nope

        • Mary Burrell

          I love jerk pork and chicken I had it in Ocho Rios with Ting.

          • Hi Mary…miss your comments. Hope you are still visiting!

      • Tam

        Even better when they stay in an all inclusive

        • Islandpiratequeen

          Yup. The only parts of the Caribbean they’re interested in is the beach. And dancehall/reggae every few years when they’ve cycled other “exotic” music through the Wheel of Appropriaton.

        • Kas loves Jamaican Breakfast

          Nothing wrong with an all inclusive, especially if it comes with nanny service.

      • TheUnsungStoryteller

        Money. Money. Money!!!! And Tiffany’s!!!

      • HLN010259

        Pork Pit, Montego Bay JA. Ate there every night. Almost. We bought curry goat and oxtail from roadside vendors – so good! And chicken and rice from a church group on the beach. All good stuff cause it was real.
        Ricks cafe?Pass

        • Mayborn7

          Just came back from the Pork Pit. Better than Scotches.

      • ckyjeans

        White folks think they’re Anthony Bourdain just because they went to the tourist spots.

    • Me

      White folks like that scare me. I may have seen too many serial killer shows, but pushing up on me after I said no will trigger my auto in case of emergency procedures: report to management, alert friends & family of my whereabouts through text, slip car key between middle and index finger in case nothing else sharp enough to take out an eye is in near reach, water my throat for screaming, loosen the strap on my heels in case I need to ditch them to run…

      • Jennifer

        You were raised right!

      • Lisss

        “water my throat for screaming”
        Best. Advice. Ever.

      • seriously

        Lol @ water my throat for screaming!!! Yess

      • Dubyaa

        I’m CRINE at “water my throat for screaming”

      • lololololololol…………

      • Mochasister

        Dang, girl you ready!

    • Michelle

      This is an example of why I hate when it’s a certain friend of mine’s turn, when it comes to our “Girls’ Night Out” festivities. She’s kind, but she does harbor a lot of “white is right” ideologies. So she ends up picking venues that usually has predominantly-white occupants, who have access to liquor.

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    • J_JamesM

      Christ, some people don’t just have issues, they don’t even realize how hopeless they are.

    • Mochasister

      Drunk white men scare the crap out of me.

  • BlackMamba

    White sugar, white rice and white people. All are bad for black bodies.

    • Lea Thrace

      HEY
      HEY
      HEY!

      You leave rice out of it. Rice in its rainbow of colours is ALWAYS INHERENTLY GOOD!

      • NonyaB?

        You can tell BlackMamba has never been blessed by Jollof or even correct rice and stew, to be uttering such sacrilege.

        • Lea Thrace

          We need to have BlackMamba come to the homeland so they can truly understand the joy of rice. Particularly Jollof done the correct, true, and right way. Naija way.

      • Cheech

        Sounded like you were objecting on all 3 grounds, dear.

    • esa

      Queen Victoria and her “purity” campaign. smh, the British Empire got em coming and going.

  • kingpinenut

    I basked in blackness while shoveling snow this morning.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TAa7Gupncqs

  • Marceline

    Ever since the election I’ve been all about calling out fake allies. I see these folks for who they are now.

  • BlackMamba

    Starbucks feminists are the worst.

    “Women are oppressed but discussions about racism are distracting!”

    • Gaaltero

      Then you tell them that most white women vote Republican and…….silence. LOL

    • FromTokyo

      Reminds me of a convo I had today with my new white British female coworker about feminism. She was like “Anyone who’s not a feminist is a horrible person” blah blah when I said I wasn’t a feminist (to be followed by “I’m a womanist”). I explained to her a few issues I have with feminism, mainly that there’s no intersectionality when it comes to gender and race. She was just like “Well, we don’t have that problem in the U.K.” I was just like, “Oh, okay, girl.” >_> She was lucky I didn’t have more time. This same coworker saw my hair one day (the 2nd day of her working [I’d worn a scarf her first day]) and said, “Is that a wig?” I gave her a strong side eye.

  • PunchDrunkLove….my boo

    In my experience I have yet to meet a coworker (cause this is where I see/interact mostly with white people) who didn’t hit one on the list, until now. I mean…… I see and chat with white folks in passing, at groceriy stores, restaurants and what not but that’s minimal time and again, in passing.

    And even tho this dude don’t make the list, we cool as ever, can break bread on a whim, talk about semi-personal stuff (kids, cooking, which of our credit cards have the highest percentage of cash back, etc), yet there is still the element of “we are different from one another” present. If we head out to lunch he runs to a car full of sistas to tell them a skirt is hanging out of the door without hesitancy, open doors for all women, etc etc etc, but there is something overtly missing where I can’t vibe like I could with another black person. He didn’t make the list but there’s a #11 that I can’t delineate.

  • Val

    “2. Darth Becky With The Good Hair And The Jones For Black Dudes”

    I’m curious why Darth Chad with the Good Hair and The Jones for Black women is almost never discussed?

    I mean, there are definitely Black women dating/ married to racially problematic White guys. So, why aren’t those relationships discussed? Why is the focus always on Jamal and his White chick?

    And why do so many stereotypes exist with regard to Jamal and almost none with regard to Keisha and her White dude? Fair play is fair play, right?

    Anyway, I see shade being thrown all the time at Jamal but almost never at Keisha, so what’s up with that?

    • Damon Young

      Darth Chad is usually a #1. But yeah, problematic Chad and “he can’t be racist if he’s married to me” Keisha deserve their own special attention too.

      • kingpinenut

        Maybe a piece on the results of “Choices made while ignorant of white supremacy”…. or “You gon get shiddy swimmin in shiddy water”

        Edit brought to you by Bullwinkle and Rocky.

      • Well done, fam.

        • “M”

          inorite?? It’s like Indexed Reference Material, for your convenience.

      • “M”

        It doesn’t happen quiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiite as often, first of all.

        You have Mellody Hobson Lucas married to, you know, George. Not a Chad even though the creator of the Darth.

        You have Ambassador Susan Rice. Also married to Not A Chad.

        You have Iman married to Bowie. #NoDarthChad.

        So you just don’t have as much material to scrutinize to begin with.

        Meanwhile?

        We have Charlamagne AND Trevor Noah, otherwise my boo, out here with Tomi Lahren, and 4500 comments.

        And we have our 5-Star Example of Fraudulence, who has apparently decided to be our own personal 21st century Stealth-But-Not-So-Stealth Darth, Van Jones – who TWICE now in the last 50 days has come out and just decimated people with duplicity and apologist yaya when the rest of us are just trying to save our country from falling into, you know, fascism.

        https://twitter.com/AC360/status/841820574955515905

        So.

        To conclude: Not only are the cases far less numerous, they’re a whole lot less egregious.

        /fin
        /for now

        • Overtymem Usicradio

          Far less numerous? Remember the Dr. Ingram show from a few years back. There are plenty to dissect from, just have to do your homework.

        • Skegeeaces

          George Lucas’s creation of Jar Jar Binks was a little “Chaddish”. Buuuuuut….::Kanye Shrug::

        • La Bandita

          Well even if Chad is a 10 on the racist chart being married to a black women takes down to almost a 2. If Becky is a 5 on the racist chart being married to Darth Jamal takes up to an 11. Why are they so angry together? Be happy and in love.

      • Overtymem Usicradio

        So what is the real reason you have a bit shy on this topic?

      • mykicksarefromkroger

        Tamera and her Fox News Chad are perfect candidates for that phenotype!

    • Glo

      I was talking about this with a friend, and she said that she thinks it’s because black women will have to put up with microagressions when we’re dating ANYONE who is not also a black woman. So Keisha will be dealing with microagressions whether she’s dating Jamal or Chad, but not if she’s dating another Keisha. I think this minimizes the issue, but I did think it was a very interesting viewpoint.

      Also, I think that the public are generally less threatened by black woman/while man relationships. They’re more popular in the media. There is also an idea that black men will date unattractive Beckies simply because they’re Beckies, but I don’t think that stereotype is as prevalent with black women dating Chads.

      • Lisss

        Your last sentence hit its right on the nail, in my opinion.

        Keisha doesn’t go around proclaiming the Chads of this world to be the best thing since sliced bread while subtlely throwing jabs at Jamal. They stick to their member of the Brady bunch, learn how to make mayo sandwiches, decrease the number of spices used on chicken wings and keep it moving.
        Jamal, on the other hand, has to tell errbody and they mama how Becky is so much better because…well, she aint Keisha!

        Until of course Becky decides that mini Becky cant get braids cause thats a black hairstyle. Then Jamal needs our help cause “look what at the racist woman i chose to sleep with is doing to me and my child!! “

        • TheVilleintheA

          “decrease the number of spices used on chicken wings and keep it moving”
          LOL!

        • ChokeOnThisTea

          Boom. And there it is.

        • Annalise Keating

          ??????????????*standing ovation for this!

        • Mary Burrell

          Excellent ????????

        • La Bandita

          Jamal won’t shut the pluck up about his unattractive Becky.

        • VEE

          lol yes

        • Omoze Ijeoma Idehenre

          So not true. I know plenty of Ks who do. It’s a mess.

      • Courtney Wheeler

        I think you bring up a very good point.. I always felt like if I was dating a “Jamal” or a “Chad” my “black women essence” wasn’t ever correct from them. Which is frustrating to say the least.

      • FarbissinaPunim

        “There is also an idea that black men will date unattractive Beckies simply because they’re Beckies, but I don’t think that stereotype is as prevalent with black women dating Chads.”

        I never see white men with busted black women. On the other hand, Black men with busted white chicks…

        • Kat

          I’ve seen a few. FB be telling tales.

          • ThePrestigeSeries

            That is true. I will say that usually when I see a white guy with an unattractive black woman he is also unattractive; however, I have also seen a good bit who date some mediocre looking white men, as well. I’ve never seen an unattractive black woman with an attractive white guy…

        • White dudes stay with fine azz black women.

        • JennyJazzhands

          …is a common occurrence. And when it’s not the man had enough money to have his pick of beckies.

        • ChokeOnThisTea

          9 times out 10…..

          The man will look like Denzel and the woman like Mama June or Roseanne.

          • ThePrestigeSeries

            “The man will look like Denzel and the woman like Mama June or Roseanne.”

            ???

          • Annalise Keating

            ?????? you had to bring mama June and Roseanne into this! I can’t stop laughing!!!??????

          • La Bandita

            Blossom is on the Big Bang!! So unattractive…

          • heyheyno

            Yo this happened in my very own family. My own cousin it’s crazy.

        • La Bandita

          The older wyte guys are all trying to date Niomi Campbell. The younger wyte guys are trying to date the blk girl from a Bronx Tale. Or that pretty brown black girl married to the basketball player.

        • I wouldn’t say busted Black women, but I’ve seen more than a few Black women where based on their look, you realized that Chad didn’t exactly have to fight off a football team worth of Black guys to get to her. It’s not ugly as much as it’s quirky.

        • Skegeeaces

          Maaaaaan, what?! You saw what happened to Omari Hardwick and his wife. Just sayin’…it ain’t right what they said about that man’s wife, ::in my Chris Rock voice:: but I understand!

        • Skegeeaces

          Whoopi is the only “not conventionally attractive” (I won’t call her ugly; refuse- she’s not) Black woman I’ve seen with a white man.

      • Wise Old Owl

        I have personally seen and I know quite a few Black women married or in relationships with very unattractive white males…however, since white males are the default males in America, they are not required to be as physically attractive as Black Men are often required to be a catch by successful and attractive Black women…since the vast majority of Black Men in popular culture and the media are athletes or actors…regular Black Men are expected to have LeBron’s physique, Boris’ face, and Jay-Z’s swag…whereas Brad can just look like Brad and is considered attractive due to White Supremacy and the over valuing of white males and European phenotypes…

        • Glo

          I think that as a whole, women have been socialized to accept men with physical flaws, while men haven’t. In movies, TV shows, etc., you will often always see the beauty with the Seth Rogen/Jack Black type. I will agree that black men typically have to be more attractive in movies/life to be seen as a catch than their white counterparts, but I would argue that black women are seen with unattractive black men just as often as they are seen with unattractive white men (I personally know soooooo many).

          That being said, you will almost never, ever seen a white dude with an unattractive black woman.

          • Wise Old Owl

            Depends on how you define unattractive black woman…I know many white males who date ‘BBW’s…also, although I personally find dark skin Women attractive, some Black Men do not and I have seen quite a few dark skin Sisters with natural hair dating Brad and them…I am not mad, because as I stated, some Black Men, like some Black women don’t find dark skin attractive and will proudly state that they have a “preference” for light skin…

            • Glo

              BBW does not equal “unattractive.” Neither does dark skinned, soooooooo…

              • Wise Old Owl

                That’s my point…however, to many Black Men and white males, BBW’s of their same race are unattractive, yet they have no problem having chex with BBW’s of another ethnic group…there are numerous websites for white males to pursue Black BBW’s, however these same white males would never date an overweight white female…Black Men are often critiqued by Black women and white males both for dating overweight white females…dark skin is a Dominant trait and very desirable in the state of nature and flat out gorgeous to me…however, due to white supremacy, many Black Men and Black Women do believe that dark skin equals unattractive if we are being completely honest…all I am saying is that beauty is a social construct and serves as purpose to benefit certain individuals….

                • Annalise Keating

                  BBW can be such a subjective thing. I have heard white folks call someone who is a size 8 BBW

                  • Wise Old Owl

                    I agree…white folks view many of the “thick” Sisters we find attractive as fat and unattractive…beauty itself is subjective…

                  • Wise Old Owl

                    Yes, you actually think critically and logically and not defensive emotionally thinking and typing..

                  • Wise Old Owl

                    Yes, what’s attractive is very subjective…Both Paula Patton and Sage Steele are very unattractive to me…however, Hollywood and Disney producers find them attractive…by the way, Damon, when is the Sage Steele piece coming, or is she off limits…

                    • Overtymem Usicradio

                      I find Sage Steele to be very off putting with her valley girl accent.

              • TheUnsungStoryteller

                Thank you.

              • kneelbeforetigers

                Thank you for catching this – ugh.

                • Glo

                  He tried it, lol.

          • TheUnsungStoryteller

            I’ve never seen a white guy with an unattractive black woman.

            • Wise Old Owl

              Well, I have seen plenty in major cities, college towns and rural areas…but, beauty is in the eye of the beholder…just like I see perfect Brad with very unattractive white and Asian women all day in the suburbs…

          • Overtymem Usicradio

            I see them every day in DFW. White dudes and Mexican guys rolling with somewhat cute in the face but very overweight women, sitting in the passenger seat of her previously owned BMW. I see them at the store, shopping for groceries that she pays for, eating out at restaurants, while she pays for the meal.

        • La Bandita

          OR he gas good credit!! jk

      • TheUnsungStoryteller

        That’s true. Never thought about that.

    • “Anyway, I see shade being thrown all the time at Jamal but almost never at Keisha, so what’s up with that?” On the high side I don’t think it is as prevalent as Jamal and Becks but on the low side it probably just doesn’t get good ratings within the sphere of popular media spots like blogs or morning radio.

      I’m simple though.

      • Black dudes don’t feel threatened by Black women dating out, and White dudes love that they were brave enough to take the scary Black woman. It’s ignorance all the way around, but no one really feels threatened by it for some reason.

        • Lea Thrace

          that reason is that from either perspective black women are seen as disposable…

          • Agreed. That’s my larger point that I had trouble articulating.

          • This. BW have to fight the hardest for the smallest iota of respect. From *ALL* other demographics.

          • “M”

            Then why are you trying to put that so-called “perspective” out there yet again??

            If this current Orange Occupant Regime in the White Russia House should’ve taught any of us anything, it should teach us this:

            #ControlTheNarrative

        • Val

          “Black dudes don’t feel threatened by Black women dating out…”

          I don;t know about that, Todd. I’ve seen plenty of evidence to the contrary. I just think those dudes are shamed into silence when the conversation comes up.

          • Bed wench doesn’t exist for nothing.

            • Another Man’s Rhubarb

              Right.

            • “M”

              Thank you. All that UGLY trash talk.

          • Wise Old Owl

            Yes, we are shamed into silence and told to shut up, because we have been swirling with Becky forever and now it is Sisters time to date outside the race…the irony is the facts are just the opposite and Black Men have only in the last 50 years have been allowed to openly date and marry Becky without fear of losing their jobs, freedom and even their lives…
            Side note, is every third blog post now a discussion of interracial dating and critique of trifling Jamal chasing no good Becky?

          • Overtymem Usicradio

            Don’t want to catch heat from the feminazis who on the sly wish to promote WM/BW while shaming WW/BM pairings. Most conversations on this topic lacks anything remotely close to objectivity.

            • Camille

              Your use of the Rush Limbaugh word “feminazi” says so much.

              • Overtymem Usicradio

                Damn that dog hollers loudly when its kicked.

                • Camille

                  Sure, if you say so.

                  • Overtymem Usicradio

                    Are you bored?

                    • Camille

                      Well, there’s this fascinating exchange with you so the answer is clear.

                    • Overtymem Usicradio

                      What answer are you seeking child?

                    • Camille

                      I get it. You got some attention from me. Now, move along. Please. have a great day.

                    • Overtymem Usicradio

                      Ms, please go take your meds. I only received attention from you to which I did not invite. Call your doctor and get a refill immediately.

        • I’ve seen brothers get bothered by that but it’s still not as documented or talked about as the scenario that Val pointed out. Maybe it happens on the ashy dudes version of Clutch or on ashy twitter but it’s not a mainstream topic.

        • FarbissinaPunim

          I disagree that black dudes are unbothered. I have been yelled at by all kinds of black dudes when I was with my ex-husband.

          • I’ve never seen this. Tell me about your experience.

            • FarbissinaPunim

              As I mentioned in another thread, I had a guy who said that “I moved up to the big time” by dating a white man. A group of black dudes yelled that my fiance better be eating that puse’ because they know he ain’t hittin right, and I’ve been called stuck up, bougie, etc.

              • I’ve heard Black guys joke about the whole not hitting it right thing among other dudes, but none so bold as to say it to a woman directly. That’s messed up.

            • “M”

              Why should she want to relive that, though?

              I mean, that makes three of us just right here in the subthread so we shouldn’t have to lay bad memories out there to satisfy some prurient curiosity of yours OR justify our POV just because YOU don’t happen to find it credible and/or are so blinkered you’ve never seen it.

              If you’re *really* that “innocently” curious (sure), search out any BW/WOC blog with a section on relationships and wait for the haters to roll in by the literal thousands of comments.

              I am sure you have quite the busy life, so I’ll only imply once that you haven’t seen it because you haven’t looked (because you sure are insistent, despite *at least three* of us now having told you differently, that it “just doesn’t happen” m-hm).

              But your plausible busyness plus your demonstrated blinkeredness based on your particular biases really needs a “Just because YOU don’t see a thing happen, it doesn’t automatically follow that that thing never happens” right about here.

              Because methinks we’re getting to the point where the gentleman doth protest just a touch (way) too much.

              • Here’s the thing: I (like most other people) am ignorant of certain subjects. I asked a question. She answered politely. I don’t see where the issue is.

                • “M”

                  ” I don’t see where the issue is.”

                  I see that.

                  What you also don’t see is that you’ve denied the experience of at least three people in the thread who’ve said “it happens” and you’ve continued to counter with “I don’t see that.”

                  It’s like when we say to wypipo “There is racism!” and they come back with “I don’t see it” or worse, “I don’t see color.”

                  Nobody is taking issue with your tone. Just with your obliviousness.

                  (And also with your rather presumptuous assumption that if you aren’t conscious of a thing, that thing just doesn’t exist. I’m sure you don’t excuse that kind of behavior in white people, so there’s no reason women should excuse it in men.)

            • Overtymem Usicradio

              Forget it Todd. These are the unions they are completely in favor of and this the place to come for validation. Clutch Magazine is not enough for them. And they expect to sit back and take it.

            • Camille

              It happens.

          • La Bandita

            I was yelled at with my wyte passing biracial ex.

        • Gaaltero

          True. Most Black men are not bothered. Black women, on the other hand, tend to lose it and tell you you slapped your mother and sister you never had in the face.

          • ChokeOnThisTea

            Eh. A lot of y’all be walking around looking like Denzel dressed to the nines with either Roseanne, Mama June, or Blossom on your arms. Cmon on, B. Of course people are going to react and question what type of complex allows you to aim so low.

        • ThePrestigeSeries

          I disagree, but this may be due to my location. I hail from the South. I can remember my Aunt dating a white guy and getting muuuuch ish for it. I remembered she even got lectured by some black dude when we were exiting Marshall’s. My cousins have dated white females and it’s just looked upon as something all guys do at some point in their life. I think it’s not mentioned as much because black women (at least in the South) seldom date outside of their race. I can remember asking some of my battle buddies at a brunch if they have ever considered it. Even my bi-racial friend looked at me with a confused look…

        • ChokeOnThisTea

          I promise you that’s a lie! Maybe you’re not threatened because you’re not interested in black women (cough, cough), but I’ve seen black preachers give sermons before congregations shading black women/white men couples.

          • I’m not one to attend church often, so I’ll take you on your word. Also, I’ll let you pass your judgment on who I date. ;-)

            • ChokeOnThisTea

              My bad. I thought you openly confessed to mostly dating non-black women. Maybe in thinking of someone else.

              • La Bandita

                He’s an ex Darth Jamal.

        • La Bandita

          Dont lie Chad, I mean Todd. Becky’s came at me in Uni.

        • “M”

          “Black dudes don’t feel threatened by Black women dating out”

          You can’t judge all dudes’ corn/wheat in your own half-bushel, homeslice.

          Not even if those dudes are in the same shade range as you.

          https://metrouk2.files.wordpress.com/2016/03/rihanna-side-eye1.gif?w=620&h=404&crop=1

    • Listen it is FASCINATING to watch the type of white men Black women are open to dating how they describe them. Absolutely fascinating. That’s probably a private conversation we can have later.

      • Gaaltero

        Curiously absent from the list. Yet, I can’t tell you how many office environments I’ve walked into with all white people and just Black women, and they look at you (Black man) like you just caught them stealing the cookies. LOL

        • TheUnsungStoryteller

          They are like…Oh no…competition. Survival of the fittest! And the Black Man, a good one will most likely win. They know it.

    • NoDramaCiCi

      Good point. Did you catch the Bachelor finale last night? Well, Rachel (the first black Bachelorette) got to meet some of the men for her season. This white man walks out and says “I’m ready to go Black and never go back.” I almost died of embarrassment!

      • Val

        I saw her when I was channel surfing. And as soon as I realized what I was watching I changed the channel. Glad I missed that. Yikes. That Black bachelorette show is going to be so problematic. There’s going to be a million think pieces. Lol

        • Glo

          I’m still going to hate-watch it, tho.

          • TheUnsungStoryteller

            I want to watch just to see the dynamics between her and the guys she chooses. But, I’m already embarrassed and I haven’t even watched the show.

          • Skegeeaces

            “Hate-watch” LOLOLOL

    • *cough* Sage Steele.

      • Brandon Allen

        Beat me to it.

      • Mary Burrell

        She’s a mess such a confused chick.

    • pls

      Because when Keisha is spotted with Chad there’s a good chance she’s still attracted to Jamal. When Jamal is spotted with Becky, we can safely assume he prolly isn’t still attracted to Keisha.

      • Val

        I think that’s a stereotype and an oversimplification. There are tons of Black women who don;t date Black men/ aren;t attracted to them.

        • Wise Old Owl

          Val,
          Good Luck!

        • La Bandita

          That’s recent.

        • pls

          Proof is in the pudding and it starts very early. I’m not saying only black men do it, but I am saying black men are the loudest about it.

      • Wild Cougar

        I’ve seen other men trash their women. You just have to be on the right blog, listserv

        • Kat

          True. Mighty white is mighty for a reason

        • Lisss

          Yeah but as you said, you ave to be on the right blog at the right time.

          Jamal has no problem writing a NY Times piece for the whole world to see. Not to mention the countless songs and movies created to tell the world how black women aint ish.

        • pls

          Listen, I don’t mind blaming the media for putting a spotlight on the black men that do this while ignoring the other races that do so as well. But black men should know better by now. Instead they continue to speak negatively about us in public. I don’t think another group of people would continue to do so if it helped anglos better attack them as a whole.

      • Gaaltero

        Why should a person in a relationship show attraction to a person outside their relationship? Looking for that kind of attention is a problem.

        • pls

          Not what my post says at all

      • La Bandita

        I went to an Asian high school. Aw put out the rumor that am are small.They are worst then bm w/80% dating wyte ANY wytr. No vetting, so you could be super racist and such as long ad you’re wyte.

      • I have to call shenanigans on that. If anything a Black woman with a White guy means that she isn’t really checking for brothers like that. Now, it doesn’t come from the place of disgust and disdain that many brothers have when they date out, but it’s stronger, in my experience.

        • pls

          Disagree.

        • Camille

          disagree

      • The Starship Maxima

        As others have said…this is gross oversimplification. And very misleading. Such is the danger of using anecdotes as statistical evidence.

        Remember, everything is skewed by the media. The attention is driven to black men who appear to drag other black women. Nobody is paying to the vast majority of black women who date and partner exclusively black women because that doesn’t sell papers/get clicks.

        All kinds and races of people who date outside their race, religion, socio-economic class, sex/gender, whatever say “I date x, because I can’t deal with y”. And that might legitimately be of personal compatibility, or because of internal attitudes. But that is by NO means a black male thing.

        • pls

          There is a good chance that self hate is at play for any minority that dates white. Media might be selling this idea but black men don’t have any shame when caught buying it.

        • 92JazzQueen .

          That is why I say if a black man wants to get with a white woman more power to them, because I am not entitled to them nor is any black woman either.

      • La Bandita

        Asian women trash Asian men. They are worst then blk men – if that’s possible.

        • pls

          I know. Asians uphold white supremacy like no other…but thanks for admitting that the amount of bm who are anti-black is sizable. I have never heard a young girl who hasn’t even had dyck yet talmbout she “don’t like black boys” and I’ll just leave it at that.

          • La Bandita

            NEVER. The MRA is a white supremacy organization and black guys have been flocking to them. All you have to do is close your eyes and they sound like wyte racists. And Asians…. I went to an Asian high school- those mujers tear down the guys to the group make black men look like angels.

    • Wise Old Owl

      Val,
      Thank you for your quick analysis and you probably know why not…I am personally sick and tired of Gary Owens…at least he is less annoying than Robin Thicke…

    • Gaaltero

      It’s called dick/pussy-blocking. Part of the mating game. One gender/race casts aspersions on others to minimize the “allowed” possibilities of others while maximizing their own.

      • Overtymem Usicradio

        Excellent analysis!

    • ChokeOnThisTea

      Cuz statistically speaking there are way more Darth Jamals than Darth Keishas. I do t see too many Darth Keisha’s going in on black folk the way I see Darth Jamal doing it. But that’s just my guess.

      • La Bandita

        True, true.

    • Annalise Keating

      Thank you for bringing this up. Darth Chads are sooooooo annoying. They think we should be so grateful they give us the time of day.
      And most of them are fetishists of some sort anyway: the I only date black women types or the I am curious about black p@$$y types……aarrrrrgghhhhh.

      • Wise Old Owl

        Watch out now….

        • Annalise Keating

          LOL

      • miss em

        tha worst. For some reason, I’m a white dude magnet and at the first sign of “Black Pu**y Worship” or “African American History 101” or “My Chocolate Nubian Goddess” you gots ta go. It shows me that they’re not at all interested in me, just my blackness, but won’t be there when the world attacks my blackness.

    • La Bandita

      Black women vet better. Only Jamal and lady ching dates anything wyte.

    • Overtymem Usicradio

      Thank you and really its about time it is discussed in full Champ.

    • ctrldwn

      There is a cadre of them (swirlers) hawking their wares on social media platforms like instagram, youtube, facebook and twitter. Some of them have written books on swirling. So Black men who date problematic White women, need not fear, you are not alone in your own stupidity. You just don’t do a good job of hiding it like some of your female counterparts do.

      The reason the stereotypes exist more with Black men than with Black women who date out is due to this society’s negative perception of Black men. It even filters down to “woke” Black people. That’s where the hypocrisy comes out. And when people say Black men are mostly with fat, obese White or non-black women, they are recycling that old trope a lot of white racist men use to assuage their fears of Black men. Even if this negro male is with a white woman, he isn’t with the best of them. It’s another way of saying Black men can’t do anything right.

      In this patriarchal system, you also have a racial hierarchy within it, and Black men are at the bottom. So BM/WW pairings face more skepticism and backlash than BW/WM pairings. People can say whatever they want, but that is a fact. The former is seen as a downgrade while the latter is seen as an upgrade. Other races view Black men through the same lens as many Whites.

    • Tabea Somewhere

      I see the point, but then again, people DO fall in love and marry outside of their so-called “race”. Not all are doing this to gain some kind of fictional “non-racist” card. How people carry themselves, how they deal with institutional racism, is another story. After living in the US, and living in Germany, I can say that while there are racists in every country, there is FAR more political and psychological baggage in the US regarding “race”. We need more DIALOGUE, instead of MONOLOGUE.

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