Duck. Duck. GREY GOOSE!
By now, nearly everybody has heard about Robby Pardlo’s episode of the A&E show, Intervention, where he’s exposed as an alcoholic. In said episode, he admits that part of his unwinding into a raging drunk was because his girlfriend of years, Claudette Ortiz, dumped her for their bandmate Ryan Toby, who she eventually married and apparently cheated on AT LEAST two times (she has 3 kids, two of which aren’t his, but were both born WHILE she was married to him).
Da f*ck? Where dey do dat at?
While I’ve never knowingly had a girlfriend cheat on me with one of my boys, I did have an ex openly ask me if she could pursue something with one of mi hombres after I broke up with her. Me? I said, “sure, go ahead.” I really didn’t give a flying frog f*ck about her at that point and had she been hit by a rhinosaurus driving a Silverado I wouldn’t have given two sh*ts. Mostly because she cheated on me with a dude I DIDN’T know. But I knew she cheated.
I’ve lost my point. Oh John the Rabbit, oh yes. So, the whole time we were dating, apparently she was scheming on my homey though she never pursued until we broke up. And I knew something was up. How’d I know? Well, I’m a beast, I’m a dog, I’m a motherf*cking problem. But more simply, people will tell you everything you need to know. Follow me.
1. They start randomly mentioning your friend out nowhere.
You ever been out with one of your friends and they can’t stop talking about somebody new they know. But even worse, they find odd ways to bring them up. You need an example, don’t you. Cool.
Shaniquilt: I really love what NASA’s got planned for the future of hydrogen-carbide O-rings and staples. What do you think?
Shalulu: Yeah, James was just talking to me yesterday about apples and I was thinking about NASA when he had said…”apples”.
Shaniquilt: Da f*ck?
So imagine that scenario if you and your girl are in the car and you say:
You: Baby I love these Skittles you bought me. They so tart.
Her: James loves Skittles too.
You: Um, yeah. Why’d you bring him up there.
Her: No reason. * whistling *
Sign number one you silly sucka.
2. Not only do they bring them up, they COMPLIMENT them.
If your girl starts doling out compliments to one of your friends all willy nilly, you should definitely give her a stern side-eye and make a mental note of it. Be clear, there is NO reason that you’re girl should be paying THAT much attention to any of your homeboys that she knows what king of cologne smells best on him.
3. They always want to invite your friend to functions.
Beware your gf/bf who ALWAYS wants your homey to be there because “they so funny.” Remember fellas, humor is what charms the drawz off of any woman. Thing is, initially it will seem really benign and actually nice and sweet that they want to hang with your friends but there will come a point where it jus seems odd to invite them – like to the bedroom or ice cream.
Her: I’m tired. You think James wants to come and watch movies with us and then possibly spoon. Don’t you think that would be great? What if he rubbed on my booty too! *shriek* Yay!!!!
4. They find ways to hang out with your buddy without you.
Not sure this needs and explanation, but you should definitely kill them if this happens and any of numbers 1-3 have occurred.
5. You catch them cheating.
Sorry, pal. We’ll see you on A&E’s intervention.
That’s a quick list for you. Good patrons of the VSB, did I miss any signs???
Lay it on me.
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL, HE A 3
i was gone at your wayne(i think) reference. then iDIED at the names of the chicks in the convo. da f*ck?…. f’real! anywhoooo…I’ll be back with some, or maybe not.
@Naomi,
Right! Those names KILLED me too! LMBO!!!
The names were a riot.lol.
I sorta think only sloppy women (not in the physically sloppy way) will display some of these signs. I actually think women are much better at operating with stealth when it comes to cheating than men, regardless of who it’s with. Though if my girl did start mentioning one of my boys all the time, there would be a major side-eye and a sudden isolation policy.lol. I think people fail to ignore the early signs sometimes and let stuff happen that could have been prevented.
Though if she was gonna cheat…well, she was gonna cheat.
@Naomi, i dont see anything odd about those names. i used the names of real people i know.
i do live in DC ya know and crack was rampant for a solid 10 years. people think crack only kills, no crackheads had kids and got to name them too.
@Panama Jackson,
Word to Frankie…I mean, c’mon she named that poor baby “Elite!” And after spending 9th grade rolling my eyes cause this girl name Cquorteshia (pronounced core-ti-sha) got made when ppl said her name incorrectly, I can almost believe these names were real.
I mean, c’mon…you can’t even pronounce “C-Q…” it’s phonetically impossible.
@ILoveme2,
“I mean, c’mon…you can’t even pronounce “C-Q…” it’s phonetically impossible.”
*on the floor laughing*
Trust, I got a few cousins who had their children young (in HS) and now they’re like 20 running around with names with extra silent letters, dashes, unnecessary apostrophes…it’s a mess.
@miss t-lee,
Try one of my friends old classmates…her name was “La-ah,” pronounced (La-dash-ah).
This can’t be life.
I can’t even comment after extra silent letters, dashes unnecessary apostrophes
@ ILoveme2,
I’ve been hearing this for years.
I still refuse to believe it’s true. It’s gotta be an urban myth that refuses to die.
Until someone produces an actual person, or a birth certificate, I refuse to believe that! lol
@miss t-lee,
I’m with you. I refuse to believe this name until I see a birth certificate.
Is this La-ah, the same one in all of the emails/FB statuses I’ve been seeing?? She sure is popular because everyone seems to know her!
@V Renee,
Yeah girl.
Everyone knows this chick.
She’s like ‘Yawnce and isht–everywhere!
@ILoveme2, how about
TARSHISH… pronounced.. Tasha
I kid you not
@shay-d-lady,
Jollawashungus was one of my classmates. I can only spell it phonetically; the actual spelling escapes me.
or they have long heart to heart conversations with them over the phone….
I just wrote about a love triangle (possible square) only blog….
lol
but for real the key thing is that weird feeling you get when you walk back into the room and feel like your interrupting something…..
Especially if #1 and 2 have already occurred and
if #’s 1 and 2 have occurred and the interrupting feeling happens during a #3?
kill them both, set the place on fire and run out
@shay-d-lady, or they have long heart to heart conversations with them over the phone….
basically no sharing of hopes, dreams, aspirations, and goals.
lol. that’s a good point. how f*cked up would you be if you were talking to your bf about your friend and he told YOU about their hobbies and sh*t. like, “oh she doesnt want to be a stripper anymore, now she’s into veterinary science.”
might be time for stabbings. or at least a tonya harding.
meanwhile I never heard this city high story.
Thats messed up
how she gone do Ol Happy Day like that?
and how ol happy day gone do his boy like that?
5’5 with brown eyes…
smile like the sunrise
@shay-d-lady, Hahahahahaha!
My sister was talking about this and called Ryan Toby “Oh Happy Day” too. Truth be told I think most people call him that, heck I didn’t even know his name until I read this post. Thanks Panama.
@Safera, you’re welcome. its my goal in life to make sure people know the names of random f-list actors from movies a lot of us forgoet existed. oh yeah, and f-list groups too.
@Safera,
Oh snap! That IS O’l Happy Day!. Dang.
@shay-d-lady, yeah, shes pretty trifling. who knows what lies beneath.
and that group pretty much seemed corballish as hell too. who knew they were Shalamar.
@Panama Jackson,
“who knew they were Shalamar.”
LMAO!!!! Right?
I’m confused. Which one is Oh Happy Day? The one who got the girl or the alchy?
Love it. People always tell on themselves thinking they are slick.
Sloppy cheaters are the worst.
@RunBabyRun, i tend to think that sloppy cheaters really just dont care if they get caught.
in that sense, the sloppiness is just a means for forcing somebody to pay attention and kick them to the curb so t hey dont have to be the bad guy.
@Panama Jackson, It’s either they don’t care or that they’re that damn arrogant and think they’re fooling folks when sadly the only idiot they’re fooling is themselves.
Signs:
When they know your SO’s (significant other) favorite food, cologne, cigar flavor and makes it a point to pick up some of his favorite things…
That Byoch:”Davante’ loves grape cigars I’m gonna grab a few”
WonderWoman: I’m gonna grab a few handfuls of your hair while I’m kicking your ass…then I’m headed home to set fire (Waiting to Exhale style) to all his sh**.
When your friend starts hanging out at your house when your man is there dressed soooo inappropriately…Like wearing booty shorts and a wife beater knotted in the back to make a half shirt and its winter time.
When your friend volunteers to either stay at your place with your man white you go to the store for orange juice or butter pecan ice cream, or she volunteers to go with your man to the store to get orange juice or butter pecan ice cream white you stay home…In this case they both can get the fu** out…
@WonderWoman, When your friend starts hanging out at your house when your man is there dressed soooo inappropriately…Like wearing booty shorts and a wife beater knotted in the back to make a half shirt and its winter time.
my ex from like 10 years ago had a roommate who would walk into the room in a silk robe with clearly nothing else on under it when i was around. i couldnt tell if she was just trifling as hell or if she wanted me to see her goods and want to hit. lucky for me, she looked like this: *^*&%(
@Panama Jackson, you are so stoooopid. LMAO.
@Panama Jackson, Good…I would hate to think you tainted yourself with the type of chick who would do that…and ugly too? Uhhhh (shudders)
@Panama Jackson,
*claps* so happy u noticed she was tryna pull some b#llshyte on yr girl. And even more happier she was butt!!!
When their last like 50 texts or so have been from your friend. You don’t even have to read them. Just know that that is too many damn messages. Why do ya’ll have so much to talk about? ugh!
@Naomi,
With the exception of maybe throwing me a surprise party or something of that nature, I really don’t see a reason for my girl and homeboy to be exchanging numerous text messages at all. If they have each other’s numbers, it should only be used for extreme circumstances or emergency purposes, not for just conversing all willy nilly and shyt.
@Monk,
” I really don’t see a reason for my girl and homeboy to be exchanging numerous text messages at all. ”
Exactly.
I’m wondering why in the heyll would you ol’ boy even have my girl’s number? If I see 50′ lleven texts back and forth, it’s gonna be on.
@Naomi, lol. yeah, Monk’s surprise party is a good example of when its okay.
true story: back in like 03, my boy and my girl were planning an event for me upon my return from out of town or something. well, my next door neighbor approached me one day (and he was a REAL hood ninja, like he’s in the feds right now on a real charge, not no humble sh*t) like, “yo, i aint trynna get in your bizness or snitch, my ni**a, but your girl and your mans been spending A lot of time together when you aint around. keep your eyes open, my ni**a. you want some weed?”
@Panama Jackson,
I am so dead at your story.
@Panama Jackson,
Gotta love it! Now THAT’S a good neighbor (no State Farm)
@JC, sure is! lol
@Panama Jackson, Why do I feel like I know this dude? I really could hear his voice in my head while I was reading your story.
Let’s not forget befriending them on fb and commenting on every single status and/or pic…or those super excited hugs and greetings that last a couple of seconds to long, or the phone calls about the “homegirl” they want said homie to meet who has yet to appear…
LOL @ this whole post- especially the Robby/Intervention bit that needs a post all it’s on. Never realized dude could sing that well- he was killing on the keys- I hated City High and wanted to break things every time “What would you do” came on.
@Ashleyg,
I hated City High too! And that damn song, “What Would Do” could almost turn me into The Hulk. It’s on my list of my most hated songs ever.
@Ashleyg,
I hated City High, also…but I loved looking at Claudette Ortiz, so when the video came on, I just hit the mute button. I hadn’t heard or seen Claudette Ortiz since her King magazine spread…seems like she spreaded for a few kings, herself.
…two kids while married to that dude that aren’t his? Her medulla oblongata game must equate to her looks…d@mn.
That ain’t love.
@AkShone,
Both of the kats definitely got hypnotized by the good good.
@AkShone,
Her medulla oblongata game must equate to her looks…d@mn
That’s what I was thinking… Like, dang! She must have that kryptonite good good.
@AkShone,
please note that the past tense of ‘spread’ is, in fact, ‘spread’.
that is all
@Ashleyg, i thought about doing a whole post on that intervention and sh*t, then i realized, this is the city high dude, i dont care that much.
heck, if he didnt have a daughter to take care of, i probably would have stopped paying attention at the name, robbie pardlo.
@Ashleyg,
I too hated that song with a fiery passion. esp. the part where they “rap” the chorus sounding all serious and sh*t. matter of fact, i’m starting to get upset right now.
@VeronicaCorningstoneD,
LOL! Don’t do it, calm down! LOL!
@Ashleyg,
“Let’s not forget befriending them on fb and commenting on every single status and/or pic…or those super excited hugs and greetings that last a couple of seconds to long, or the phone calls about the “homegirl” they want said homie to meet who has yet to appear…”
co-sign 1005 on the above…what bullshyte- what they think u were born yesterday.
I wish a mickeyfickey WOULD…
Oh wait, this happened (in a way) to me before I handed my SO’s homeboy a steak knife with the specific instructions to slice lengthwise and deeply…
It went a lil something like this…
Babyluv stepped out to check the mail. Slimeyarse strolls in the room shirtless rubbing his mantits and says, “Is he treatin’ you right?” I look over at this Jabba The Hut stand in and say, “He’s treating ME like you treat YOUR FIANCEE (slimy bastid!). He just smiled and slid out of the room…
Long story short dude engineered random run ins for an ENGAGED YEAR AND A HALF…(slimy bastid) culminating in showing up at a fast food joint across the street from my job.
Anytime a “friend” constructs reasons for you two to be alone is a big red flashing neon pink and halo green sign that s/he’s a SLIMY BASTID!
@Tenchi,
Errrr… You did tell your SO, right? Because if not, then I can see why he thought you were down for it.
@Sula,
Yeah, after the “run in” near my job, I saved up the potential bail money and spilled the beans…
SO knows me pretty well, so he was already aware (especially since I’m famous for my ability to accurately hurl eye daggers), which explains why dude ramped up the “run ins”…He knew not to continue bringing that shiggity to the crib…
1.) I didn’t know Claudia Ortiz was keeping busy. I was wondering a couple of weeks ago what happened to her… I see now.
2.) You have GOTS to come up with normal names sometimes.
Dying from laughter over here at the names doesn’t allow me to finish the post but I manged to this time.
3.) “1. They start randomly mentioning your friend out nowhere.”
Yes! I always knew when a friend of mine was crushing on my brother because they never fail to ask about them. Needless to say, they never got invited over but one of my besties recently told me how she crushed on one of my brothers for years. I told her I never had a clue and she told me that at first, she just thought he real fine but was too shame to mention it but once she started spending time at my house (which was almost everyday) she started crushing on him but knew better than to mention it because she saw how I reacted to our other friends that did and she didn’t want her visits revoked. *smh* ….that heifer! Love her.
4.) “Oh John the Rabbit, oh yes”
Had a mighty bad habit, oh yes.
LOL!
@Made In Hawaii, so your brother hit her off, huh?
@Panama Jackson,
Ewww!
No, my brother did not hit her off.
She fell in love w/ another guy and got over the crush.
“had she been hit by a rhinosaurus driving a Silverado I wouldn’t have given two sh*ts.”
I’d at least be a lil upset that this wouldn’t show up on YouTube or something.
Anyway, this is exactly why I’m not buddy-buddy with any of my boys’ girlfriends. I don’t hate you, I don’t mind talking to you, and I kinda sorta care about you since you my homie’s girl, but we ain’t best friends. No need to randomly hit me up about a whole lotta nothin all the time. In fact, we really don’t need to be having each other’s numbers in the first place.
A few weeks ago, Friend A tells Friend B that Friend B’s girl inspired a song that he (A) wrote. There was almost some furniture movin up in that joint.
@P.,
A few weeks ago, Friend A tells Friend B that Friend B’s girl inspired a song that he (A) wrote. There was almost some furniture movin up in that joint.
*stares at screen for several seconds*
…dang
@P.,
You know what, should have been some furniture moving.
bout to start breaking shyt in here!
@P.,
Friend A is gangsta with his. Lol!
@P., A few weeks ago, Friend A tells Friend B that Friend B’s girl inspired a song that he (A) wrote. There was almost some furniture movin up in that joint.
when keeping it real goes wrong. some sh*t you just keep to yourself, Harper Stewart a** ninja.
@Panama Jackson, Why did that ninja think it was a good idea to write a tell all book about his rendezvous with his boy’s girl?! He wasn’t even clever about it because everybody knew who the characters were! Then he had the nerve to say they would have been in wedded bliss by the time the book came out. Like oh yeah, that would have just made all the difference!
@Panama Jackson, Yes! The Best Man, all snitching on yaself- a$$ ninjas! Can’t stand them and I don’t keep them around me.
@P., I’m tryna figure out why there was ALMOST some furniture moving. I mean, what did Friend A say to Friend B to diffuse the situation?
lol! where dey do dat at? and uh @ P… there should have been some furniture moving up in that bish…that was a major flag on the play…hell an outright foul! some folks*smh*
When your SO can tell you where your friend is going to be.
Me: “I’m going to hit Larry up, we ‘pose to go ball.”
Her: “Oh Larry at the doctor, and then he going to see his mama.”
Well how in TARNATION did she know dat?
@Kirk Lazarus, yeah, that’s TOTAL grounds for dismissal. that has happened to me before. lol. chick was all up in mi hombres business.
he was in hers too though. wonder if they ever hit. thing is, if i found out today, i’m not sure i’d be suprised.
@Panama Jackson, they hit
Also another scenario my bf ‘s “friend girl” since high school has an obvious crush on him to everyone but him…the first time i met her was at a party at his we were about to play spades and this heffa gonna holla bout he’s her partner…uh no ma’am hoe sit down over there **gives her side nod** and dares heffa to say something…then she said something smart to me and i snapped on her azz so fast she and everybody at the table got whiplash and it continued all nite…every chance i got i emabarrased the hell outta that heffa (liberry instead of library talkn azz!) everyone that it was soo funny except him said i was overacting..mofo u can get some too…nobody heard her get smart with me but they heard me…Then going to try and act like she didn’t remember my name…this aint what you what honey… my friends had made it over by then and everyone could tell she was salty…anywho heffa still doesn’t like me talkn all high pitched n shid when i’m around…a high pitch is a lie bitch!
**sorry long trip down memory lane**kanye shrug**
@Caramel eclair
Read this sentence again, but act like it was written by a random vss, NOT by you.
“my bf ’s ‘friend girl’ since high school has an obvious crush on him to everyone but him”
@An Island,
*nodding* mmhmmm, said the same hing
@Caramel eclair, just had to get some things off your chest huh…lol?
@Caramel eclair,
Yo, you caught a flashback while you were typing that, didn’t you?
I could feel you going back to your ignorant place. And I think you liked it.
@Caramel eclair,
I have been in a similar situation. I hurt the feelings of my girlfriend type when I chose a long time homegirl/spades partner to run the tables. Her feelings were hurt, and I did not care. There are things that are more important than love affairs, and spades is one of them.
Neva. Evah, *Chris Tucker voice* EVAH EVAH EVAH…leave your girl and your homeboy in a house, room, kitchen or couch together alone. I don’t care if you swore up and down he would never do something like that to you or vice versa.
Don’t have to be the jealous type to know, that’s it’s just plain common sense to keep the drama down. My boys KNEW not to show up to my crib if I wasn’t home, especially unannounced. Nope. Wait outside for me or come back later, whateva yo pleasure but don’t step yo a** in my crib and my girl is there alone. And if she do anything other than tell him to come back lata..itz gone be some misunderstandin’s and reprocussions up in here!!
I know we boys and sh*t, but you ain’t gotta call or check on her 4 me when I’m gone outta town or none of dat.. I got fam 4 that job. Next thing you know he cuttin yo yard and sh*t with no shirt on askin to come in for some lemonade…NO SIIIRRR!
@Tx10inch, Preach!
@Tx10inch,
“My boys KNEW not to show up to my crib if I wasn’t home, especially unannounced. Nope”
LMAO This reminds me of a story my Dad told me once.
Back in the day he had to kick his homeboy’s azz because he conventiently dropped by our house unannounced at an hour during that day when he knew my Dad was at work.
My Mom had mentioned that dude has stopped by and while she didn’t let him in the house, he refused to leave until she got a little crazy with him. So of course my Dad quickly had to handle that situation.
I don’t ever remember that kat coming by EVER after that.
Funny…dude is a preacher now, and everytime I see him I can’t help but giggle, knowing that my Dad whooped his azz.
@miss t-lee,
I salute your pops.
@miss t-lee, I totally understand…If an unrelated male comes to my door….I call my SO to answer it….
@Tx10inch, co-sign like my Granma used to say never have too many brawds round your man, or tell anything about your bedroom activities etc…its not insecuirty its more common sense like you stated……..don’t give folks ideas!!!
@Tx10inch, Neva. Evah, *Chris Tucker voice* EVAH EVAH EVAH…leave your girl and your homeboy in a house, room, kitchen or couch together alone. I don’t care if you swore up and down he would never do something like that to you or vice versa.
one of my boys said that’s the ultimate level of friendship, when you can honestly say to your boy, “i wouldn’t even bang your chick.”
@Panama Jackson,
Yo boy lied. Most men are only as faithful as their options. Per Chris Rock. I’m not saying that I couldn’t be trusted with a dear friend’s woman, because I could. I’ve been in that situation (by no fault of my own) and didn’t take the bait. but I make it a rule to never say what I wouldn’t do. (Don’t know if that contradicts my earlier statement saying that I could) but you know what i mean. I’m just saying that I’m wise (and respectful) enough now to not put me or my homie in that situation for any doubt to creep in..and I expect tha same.
@Tx10inch,
“Most men are only as faithful as their options.”
These are words every real ninja should live by. Better safe than sorry.
@Tx10inch,
“Neva. Evah, *Chris Tucker voice* EVAH EVAH EVAH…leave your girl and your homeboy in a house, room, kitchen or couch together alone. I don’t care if you swore up and down he would never do something like that to you or vice versa.”
^This reminds me of Monique’s “Queens of Comedy” routine when she said never let a bish in the house with your man when you ain’t there…”Come on, Momma. You too!” LOL!
@Tx10inch,
So none of your homies can come stay with you overnight or for a few days? And if they do, do they have to go everywhere you go? What about if you gotta go to work, they gotta come sit in the cubicle?
My homies got a 15 minutes rule. You can’t arrive at the house more than 15 minutes before I get there. Basically, your boy and your girl cannot be alone for more than 15 minutes. I don’t abide by that rule with my true friends, but I can see why cats use it after reading this blog and the comments.
@Big Man,
Nope no 15min rule needed…I’m like the anti-nike. Just “don’t” do it.
@Big Man,
I don’t know man. You’d be surprised what can go down in 15 minutes. That more than enough time for a quicky, maybe even two quickies lol.
@Black Dynamite, two? hmmmm….that’s real quick
@Tx10inch, This sounds like a bit much. You don’t trust either one of them to sit in the house, watch TV, and wait for you? A ninja gotta wait out in the car?
@Yonnie3k,
This sounds like a bit much. You don’t trust either one of them to sit in the house, watch TV, and wait for you? A ninja gotta wait out in the car?
Y.E.S.
They are probably cheating if…
1. Your SO or love interest has too many friends of the opposite sex (red flag #1). So many ‘friends’ to the point where he or she has to repeat ‘we’re just friends’ a few too many times-it’s almost like your SO is trying to convince himself or remind herself not to cheat.
2. Your SO tries to convince you that you’re being jealous or tries that ‘I never knew you could be so sensitive’ BS when you express that you aren’t comfortable with _______(fill in).
3. Your S0 starts doing all these little favors for your friend or talking to or texting them for no reason.
@Ivyette, anytime somebody repeasts something over and over, thats a tell-tale sign that they’re doing exactly what they claim they’re not.
“we’re just friends” mmhmm…go’n head ninja with that.
Shalulu?!
A BIG AZZ sign for me was when a particular ex of mine started becoming the “fixer” for one of my beat down lookin’ classmates/friend. Men love ‘fix’ stuff for their women=can be great. However my boy started goin’ to this chick’s apartment to ‘lend her an ear’ and help her w/ her daily trials n’ tribulations. Suddenly, I saw myself outside of her apartment so I could up my boy for a date. It took everyone just a little too long to answer the doorbell when I rang= I cursed the sh*t outta “Dr.Phil” and smacked Tina TooBroke in her lip. She tried to fake some ish about how I ‘damaged our friendship’ w/ my jealousy… then I threatened to poison her w/ some untraceable sh*t from the lab= game over.
@GeekChicness,
” then I threatened to poison her w/ some untraceable sh*t from the lab= game over.”
Dang….you were serious about that? No wonder it was “game over” LOL
@GeekChicness, you still with him?
I cannot co-sign the City High drama…Claudette and Robbie had broken up long before City High even formed…and I’m not sure I trust what he has to say about their marriage or blaming HER for HIS alcoholism. Come one son…#YouMad?
I’ve never been cheated on…but if someone else’s name were to come up often in our discussion side-eyeage would ensue
@Siobhan, you gonna call the alcoholic a lie??? shame on you!
even if they broke up before city high formed…that’s STILL his girl and his mans and ‘em. some people handle things differently. drinking might have been his coping mechanism. he didnt say its their fault, he DID say that the pain from that did in part lead to his drinking so much.
@Panama Jackson,
The way I heard it City High was put together by Wyclef so the guys had no ties…and at then end of the day there are no rules in love man
@Panama Jackson,
And I damn sure did call an alcoholic a liar…because before he’s an alcoholic he’s still human and we lie our asses off.
Just because he has an addiction he gets a pass? Nah son. No shame at all. Plus the alcoholics I do know lie all the time…the primary one being I don’t have a problem so let’s not got there
*singing* what you would if you son was at home crying alone on the bedroom floor, cause he’s hungry? Funny…that’s the only part of that song I remember. Claudette Ortiz, wasn’t she with Wyclef at some point? Or am I imagining that?
Good list P, I don’t have anything to add.
@miss t-lee, Wyclef’s wife is named Claudenette. That may be what you’re thinking of.
@Scipio Africanus,
*good lookin’ out*
That’s definitely what I was thinking about then. Thanks!
@Scipio Africanus,
Thanks!
@miss t-lee,
I remember her being on a song with him or something. Wouldn’t be surprised if he smashed too.
@Monk,
True…especially after reading all of this backstory with her bandmates.
Plus, we already know how ‘Clef was getting down like that with Lauryn when he was married to Claudenette.
@Monk, right…Clef got songs about cheating on his wife. if he got the shot, im sure he took it.
@miss t-lee,
I got the vibe that Wyclef and Claudia was connected too! The body language when he was presenting the group was crazy. I felt City High was a bootleg Fugees and since they couldn’t get back together, Clef came out with another version. Similar shenanigans went down.
@legitimate_soul,
I’m glad I wasn’t the only one who felt like they were the bootleg Fugees!
I think that sh*t is so dirty, just beyond foul, its a double betrayal…..
now years ago when I was a teen, I did that once, but after that exp I vowed never to do that type of trife sh*t ever again. its just not a good look..now I don’t even so much as socialize or even have a whole lot of outsuidechit chat with a nuccas friends, even if he is an ex or whateva, friends are off limits, mofos that run in the same circles etc, the trip part tho is nuccas will try you LLS, and its ;like yuong what kind of girl do you take me for?? shut it down ladies and make a mofo feel dumb for even coming at you like that!!!
@OrangeStar616, shut it down ladies and make a mofo feel dumb for even coming at you like that!!!
you asking a whole lot of trifling women. im not sure you can even change that. its just innate to some people, men and women alike.
@Panama Jackson, yeah, hoping if they are infact living that way they rise above the trife tho P, you’d think after Karma came for em a few times, they get tired of the negativity.
Damn, Claudette Ortiz was/is fine.
@Scipio Africanus, word.life.
Off Topic – Am I the only one who feels like Claudette isn’t so appealing any more after hearing about their story?
@Monk, pretty is as pretty does…..
@Monk, pretty is as pretty does…..
@Monk,
Still appealing, just not in the same way. Appealing as in, “yeah, I’d hit” but not as in, “I wish that was my boo.”
@Caballeroso,
I feel you. The story just gave me a different outlook on her and I just can’t look at her in the same way as before. If this was baseball, she’d have an asterisk next to her “dime” status.
@Monk,
I’d never even heard of her before today’s post.
@Caballeroso,
Perfect summing up, my friend.
She still fine, she just ain’t a good person.
Plenty of those running around.
@Monk,
Judging by the comment just above yours, yeah, you might be the only one.
@Monk,
I mean, I feel you (pause)…but, she still fine. She’s just a fine chick that’s gully. Now if we’re talking integrity, then yeah she uglier than Gary Coleman’s latest mugshot.
http://blog.zap2it.com/thedishrag/gary_colman_mugshot.jpg
@AkShone,
Damn! Was he just coming from the set of a sequel to Gremlins?
@Caballeroso,
I thought he looked more like a blk Gollum….’my precious’
@Monk, i agree. once you realize how sh*tty people can be, they start to lose their attractiveness.
any dime can become a 3 thru action or attitude.
@Panama Jackson,
any dime can become a 3 thru action or attitude.
you’d still hit if given the opportunity tho’, right?
@DG,
She would still fall into the smashable category and she’s still a very pretty girl. I just think the finess is tarnished a bit.
@Panama Jackson,
“any dime can become a 3 thru action or attitude.”
Characteristics of princess syndrome.
The New “Friend”
Human beings are social creatures and making the acquaintance of people is something we do on a regular basis; however, friendships aren’t borne over the course of a week or two or three. Any healthy relationship requires mutual respect, love and affinity. Neither of the aforementioned are developed quickly. So people, when your SO starts talking all whilly nilly about this new friend that you have never heard of before, watch out!
The Old “Friend”
The only I hate more than new friends are old ones. I am a firm believer that you don’t lose touch with friends. Unless they went to war, in a monastery, nunnery, comma, or prison, or are losers that did the peaces corps, you don’t lose touch with friends. And if you still feel like you can lose touch with friends, you are an idiot. If you lost touch, you were not close friends to begin with or the relationship wasn’t worth salvaging. Therefore, when your SO starts mentioning a name you have not heard before, begins hanging out with this person and tells you that they are an “old friend,” I think you may have a little situation on your hands.
“(S)he’s not my type!”
In the words of the great philosophizer Chad Ochocico, “CHILD PLEASE!” People humping on each other outside the scope of their relationship have very little to do with type. The humping around is usually a matter of function and not faculty; and the function primarily being people want to get it in or do something different. This one you can’t really avoid or prepare for because ish happens I guess. It could be a day when Keisha’s boobs are pooping out or a brother likes her MC Hammer pants because it takes him back to 1993. On the flip side, your girl may just like a brother’s stamp collection; it turned her own that day.
@xave,
agree!!!!
Especially the “old friend” part
@xave, Unless they went to war, in a monastery, nunnery, comma,…
Wow! I’ve NEVER had a friend become a punctuation mark. Has this ever happened to you?
@Ivyette, you know i meant coma.
@xave,
It could be a day when Keisha’s boobs are pooping out or a brother likes her MC Hammer pants because it takes him back to 1993. On the flip side, your girl may just like a brother’s stamp collection; it turned her own that day. .
iCant. LMAO
@xave, What? Only losers go to the Peace Corps?
To my knowledge I’ve never been cheated on…. but all too many times during my relationships I’ve had these situations where some random chick from the “gym”, etc. would pop up trying to be all cool w my man. But see the trick is, they always try to befriend me so I’m comfortable with them talking to my bf but all the while them heifers was schemin… Cause both times, soon as we broke up, they were RIGHT THERE trying to pick up the pieces…
I’m not insecure or jealous.. but now days I see that typa shyt coming a mile away. I have no problem with a chick who I consider to be a real friend being around my man because I consider very few people my real friends so I know they can be trusted. I don’t even have a problem with people I consider acquaintances being around my man cause I wish a bish would try to push up on my man!! The chick you gotta watch out for is (in his words) “cool a** Tameka from the gym” and “my homegirl Ronni from undergrad” – Now THAT bish… HELL NAW.
All communications with those types should be limited and few and far in between. Any time your dude is talking too much to any female other than you its a problem. Not to say he’s definitely cheating but that chick is definitely up to something. Men can be very naive sometimes and biches can be very sneaky and play up the whole damsel in distress routine just to have a reason to talk to them and get them to come over and “fix their computer”, etc. BETTER WATCH YA MAN LADIES!!
@BKSweetheart,
^Not speaking on your situation, but sometimes in gym situations the dude pushed up all on the girl, and acted as if he was single. The girl has no idea he’s in a relationship with another lady until much, much later.
@legitimate_soul,
Let me expound:
Dude is in your face with the obvious glances, stares (hard stares that make you a little uncomfortable at first), working out near the machine you are on, speaking, talking, and every time you look up you get eye contact with dude. You minding yo’ business doing your reps, being polite, thinking dude isn’t bad looking but just continuing to mind your business unless he actually approaches you for anything else. The friendly banter, interaction, glances, and stares grow for weeks. Dude ain’t holla’d so you keep it pushin’. Then one week he’s at the gym with his girlfriend and you like “Wow!” Dude sees you and start acting all nervous around his girl. You have “inner side eye” and wonder “WTH was all that about if you have a girl?” and continue to keep it pushin’.
@legitimate_soul, yeah that’s definitely a problem. But in my situations, to my knowledege, they didn’t holler at the chick first.. all the sudden these chicks just showed up outta nowhere being all nice and trying to be all helpful and shyt… and i suspect my exes liked the attention and the ego stroking.. but I’m not insecure so I didn’t mind them having female friends. But when the other chick seems too overinvested in the “friendship” and is always volunteering to do shyt like bring food over, wanting to hang out w both of us, inviting us to shyt, etc… it was all a ploy for her to get closer to him.
The first time I was in that situation when i was in undergrad, I was too naive to see what that was all about. But the second time it happened was with my most recent ex and I shut that bish down ASAP.
@BKSweetheart,
Yeah, I co-sign on that entire situation. She was out of pocket! I got sistah friends who I am really tight with and I knew their husbands (as we all did in college) before they even got together, but once they are in a union, you fall back from some things as any self-respecting woman. Trying to hang with ya’ll as a couple, do couple stuff with just her solo is nukkin’ futz!
@BKSweetheart, “and get them to come over and “fix their computer”, etc.”
Ok this part rang so true to me as an IT guy! I just have to tell this story!
So once upon a time I was 20 years old and in the Air Force. I was stationed at a small base in Japan and i had a side job as a bouncer at the most popular club off base. One night I was on duty at the club, and one of my good friends comes over to me with a very attractive lady right behind him. He introduces her to me, says she’s his sister and he thinks she and I should really get together. So we talk a short while, exchange numbers and keep it movin. A couple days later I get a call from her and we go out for a lunch date and to the park. We end up back at spot doing the humpty dumpty. Right after we get it in, she tells me she’s married! I already had an idea that was the case but hey I was 20, I ain’t give a puck. She wanted to keep seeing me so I of course said ok. I called her brother on some WTF, and he was like “Man I just want her to be happy, dude aint treating her right.”. So I figured what the hell. About a week later she invites me to come have dinner at her house with her and her brother. I go to the house and guess who’s there…..THE HUSBAND of course! Her brother introduces me to the dude as his friend, which I was, then introduces me to his sister like we have never met! So of course I peeped game real quick and it’s all I can do not to laugh at this dude. So the husband finds out I am an IT guy and starts telling me about all the problems his piece of crap computer is having. He asks if he can pay me to fix it, I said sure. The only problem, I told him, was that my work schedule conflicted with his and that the only time I was free was during the time he was at work. He smiled and said “Oh that’s no problem, my wife will be here, she’ll let you in and i’ll just leave her the money for you.”. In my head I am like this dude just don’t know who he puckin wit! So long story short, at least once a week she would change the password on his computer to make him think it was broke again and good ol Buck would come to the rescue. I was charging this dude 35 bucks an hour to pipe his wife.
I am older now and wouldn’t get involved in such foolishness, but oh it was fun for the young me. So watch out for the IT guy, plumber, maintenance man, etc.
@BigBuck,
SMH
Dayum shame.
LMAO
Wow. I didn’t even know all that went down.
I don’t know if I been cheated on or not, but some behavior did make me suspicious such as being way too invested in the personal decisions another person makes. Why you that pressed?
@BKSweetheart
I totally agree with you.
I don’t believe in new female friends for my BF (I BARELY trust the old ones). I can understand new females he might meet in class, work, gym etc. but that friendship begins and ends at that place. I told my BF how girls try to be so slick and try to be the “friend” when they’re really trying to find a way in. He was naive until a couple of them tried to get on via FB messenger a couple of weeks ago. lol I don’t trip about it but I know how guys can be naive.
How abt my ex tried to get on with one of my friends and my sister after we broke up? lol. Ultimate disrespect
all of your points make sense. i’d be weary if your s/o mentions your friends physical features:
“James is a really cute guy.”
“John seems like he’s been working out lately.”
one thing you failed to touch on is where is the friend’s responsibility in all this. it does take two to cheat and trust if my lady stepped out with my boy both of them would be catching hell (well depends on how close me and said friend are).
At a house party (full of people who all knew each other, family and family friends), I went to the bathroom on my way out. This dude had been staring at me all night, trying to give me pineapples soaked in vodka, etc. I’m washing my hands and dude COMES IN the bathroom (I thought I had locked the door but hadn’t) and starts to close the door. I got the fugg out and dude tries to hug me saying “Oh you leaving?” I tell my husband. Husband waits til the morning to calm down and goes back over there and confronts him in front of everyone (he’s known this dude for longer than 10 years, it was his best friend’s cousin). Dude tried to say he had to pee and was going to wait for me to leave. So
A) when you enter a bathroom and a woman is in there your first instinct is NOT to apologize and leave
B) if you were going to wait for me to leave, why did you close the door?
He told dude not to say shyt to either one of us when we see him at functions (which will be often)…I still can’t believe that actually happened. What a creep.
@Gem,
oh wow–That kat was foul.
Simple and plain.
Kudos to your hubby for not boxing ‘em out.
@Gem,
Your hubby did the right thing.
That Kat is used to that kind of behavior and used to having people not check him about it. Ewww, such a creep!
Here’s something I noticed. Girls use the excuse of talking to another girls boyfriend as “I just need a male perspective on this…” trying to work there way in. So you ain’t got NO other males in your life? girl bye
It’s pretty ironic b/c right around the time Claudette Ortiz was with Robby Pardlo, I was dating/smashing her too… in my mind.
Claudette and Lauren London were on my list of “Chicks I’m coming for as soon as I get rich.” Since Lil Wayne got water splashed on him, ate after midnight, and then proceeded to knock up Lauren London… she has been removed from the list along with Claudette Orfice. They have been replaced by Tamron Hall & Claudia Jordan.
Back to the topic… There’s certain chicks I wouldn’t bring, let alone leave, around SOME of my boys or associates. It’s not that you’re concerned about them taking ya girl, you just know that some dudes are wolves/thirsty a** ninjas who are looking to pounce at any given opportunity.
@SouthernCharm, your post brings this mind, one of my favs
“Little girls
its suffice to say
never stop
along your way
never trust a stranger friend
for no one knows
how it will end
as you are pretty
so be wise
wolves may lurk in every guise
now as then
tis simple truth
thje sweetest tongue
has the sharpest tooth…..The Company of Wolves
@OrangeStar616,
^”The Company of Wolves” was an ill movie!
@legitimate_soul, Love love love that movie!!!!! Score was vicious in that also
@OrangeStar616,
I still trip off unibrows…not for the obvious, but because they might be werewolves…..atleast according to the movie
@SouthernCharm,
Did you mean to type “Claudette Orfice”…as in orifice, as in she gettin’ around? I hope you did, ’cause this made me holler! Then again, It might be even better if it was a coincidental typing error.
@SouthernCharm,
Did you mean to type “Claudette Orfice”…as in orifice, as in she gettin’ around? I hope you did, ’cause this made me holler! Then again, It might be even better if it was a coincidental typing error.
@legitimate_soul,
I hope he meant orifice too, cause THAT was funny!!!
@legitimate_soul,
trust me… that was no typo! lol
My dad has this same rule! Told me when I got married and i can honestly say that i can’t think of a woman who is not related to me that has been alone in the house with my husband. My dad says it keeps down confusion, no need to explain why Jimmy (or Susie) was sitting on the couch sipping when you walked in the door.
The reverse doesn’t really work because my biz partner is a man, but other than that, no other men come further than the door if he isn’t home.
it’s a good rule
duck duck . GREY GOOSE
not nice
Y’all forgot the chick who asks about your man’s sexual prowess. Fareal? You think I’ma answer that question.
I had two alleged good “friends” ask me that mess. Needless to say, they were put on very short leashes after that and eventually were assigned to “raggedy HCTIB” category.
I’ll admit that when I was 19, I slept with my best friend’s boyfriend. To this day, I regret betraying our friendship. But she’d done it to one of her friends so I just chalk it up to karma.
@meka, “I’ll admit that when I was 19, I slept with my best friend’s boyfriend. To this day, I regret betraying our friendship. But she’d done it to one of her friends so I just chalk it up to karma.”
bwahahahaha… ya’ll got me rollin
STOP THIS FRAGGLE-KNAKKLE BULL-ISH RIGHT NOW! I AM THE VERY PROUD OWNER OF WHAT ONE WOULD CALL AN…”ETHNIC NAME”…. MAYNE! FORGET CHALL!
@Lanieanna, bwahahahaha
Big Sign-Constant criticism of the friend or significant other.
Many moons ago, my cousin’s ‘Fiancée” was always very super critical of one of her best friends. Constantly talking about how unattractive she was, how she had set up her kid’s father up to be killed, she had a funky attitude and wondered why my cousin continued to be friends with her, she was ghetto etc. etc the list of her faults was endless per him. Well lo and behold when “Fiancée” went to prison, guess who was the main boo to get visitation rights (wasn’t my cousin) and guess who “Fiancée” went to live with when he was released umm hmm again not my cousin. I saw the game unfolding for months but hey.. This was also the same cousin who once told me on her way out the door that she was on her way over to my man’s house for him to look at her car. She had also spent many hours telling me how he wasn’t any good and how I should move on… out of the ordinary criticism I’m gonna start to do some double takes.
Lol…so true!
I’ve seen the symptoms before.
Never had it happen with a gf but with fwbs (and they wonder why they never made gf)
How do you guys come up with this stuff.
-J
One of my exes best friend hitted on me when he was out of town. I cussed him out and when I tried to tell my man, he had the nerve to tell me I must have been mistaken because he had known T longer than he had known me. That was the beginning of the ending of our relationship. Karma is something because five years later his now ex-wife was caught cheating with that same best friend that I tried to warn him about.
I don’t think men are as naive as some women think they are–they know good and well what the other chick is up to. Some tolerate it because they like the ego stroking and then there are others who tolerate it because there may be a window of opportunity for them to hit it later when their girl is tripping or do it just because they can.
Don’t fault the other woman that’s doing the flirting. Fault your man if he’s taking it all in and responding. It takes two to tango.
humor is what charms the drawz off of any woman.
Truer words have never been spoken.
They add each other on Facebook and they ALWAYS got something to say to each other! She can’t post a status quick enough for him and vice versa.
As a matter of fact, lets just stop at THEY ADD EACH OTHER ON FACEBOOK!
@BigBuck,
LOL! Facebook is New BFF heaven, innocent looking posts, pokes and sh*t.
@BigBuck,
AMEN..I had to warn my cousin the other day of this girl that keeps replying to all of her man’s posts…commenting of photos…etc. *keenan voice* MESSAGE
love that he was tryna snitch on nobody too- just putting u on…*dead*
So I have this friend, when we met we discovered that we’d been floating around each other, going to the same events, parties, liked the same stuff, e.t.c.
But one day she came over with her friend, and then later had to go, but her friend asked if she could chill a while…
I took my eyes off the prize and ended up sleeping with the other friend. Then the girl I wanted in the first place said “we can’t be together, it would be wrong”
Anyway she starts dating one of my boys.
But now my boy is always paranoid, if we hang out together and he’s not there.
I understand being watchful, but aren’t we boys!
I won’t build my happiness on your misery.
Is it my fault that your girl lives down the road from me?
Is it my fault that we were friends before she met you?
Is it my fault that I happen to know things that you don’t?
And when I tell you these things, I’m doing it so that you can be that dude she really likes.
Paranoia has it’s place, but sometimes excess paranoia is what’s going to trip you up.
Needless to say they broke up ’cause she couldn’t take the constant checking in.
We never dated, but we both got what we wanted from each other, and moved on.
Not my fault, he let some stupid shit get to him.
*kanye shrug*
Any woman who is capable of sleeping with her man’s friend would be stupid enough to display the above signs. But let’s be real…if she was….I highly doubt she would even mention him or look his way in front of her man…the air would be tense…and that would be the real sign to me (if I was a man) lol