Featured, Race & Politics

That Time I Almost Stabbed A Couple Rednecks Who Saw My Headwrap And Assumed I Was Muslim

It came as a surprise to everyone when I graduated from one of the top private schools in the country and, instead of attending college like most of my classmates did, joined the military.

I was an immigrant — my family came to America from Jamaica when I was 10 — and female children of immigrants are often taught by their parents that your life path is limited to three options:

1. Have a business that makes a lot of money
2. Go to college for a job that makes a lot of money
3. Marry someone who makes a lot of money

Simple right? The army fit none of those criteria. But I disliked everything about schools. I hated the pretentious kids at my school, I hated the cardboard cutout curriculum, and I especially hated the canned food they reheated and sold for five to ten dollars per day.

My decision was especially was off putting to my family because of the type of people and situations they thought I would be around. I wasn’t the most sheltered person, but I was a bit more privileged than the typical 18-year-old who chooses to join the army. Going from nuns and affluent stay at home moms to drill sergeants not-all-that-much-different than the drill sergeant in Full Metal Jacket was a bit of a culture shock. But I handled it

I am now going on my 6th year in the military. When I left my first duty station in Alaska, I changed from active duty to reserves. After my active duty discharge, I started wearing headwraps. Whether it was the bright and beautiful colors of the different cloths, or the fact that my ears were never again cold, I loved them. I wear them everywhere. (Also, I have to say that the headwrap changes the way men approach me on the street. Instead of “hey redbone” or “hey bitch” its “hey beautiful nubian sista.” Which I know is super, duper problematic, but that’s another topic for another day.)

The only time I can’t and don’t wear them is with military uniforms. Not that I would want to in my new unit, which is located in backwoods West Virginia. I’m not going to say they fit every single stereotype up there but holy hell they sure do come pretty close. And something happened to me recently that exemplifies that. And the fallacy of us existing in a “post-racial’ America.

I was there for a weekend for drill. Once a month, we show up in uniform for a weekend and do a month’s work of work in two days. It was after hours so I was off duty and going to eat dinner at one of the local eateries. I was sitting down minding my business — literally not doing anything but staring at my phone rereading Fifty Shades of Grey because I’m a lonely woman — when I hear several grossly uncomfortable comments that made my skin literally crawl and urged my legs to move me to the exit.

“Why the fuck would she come around here knowing there are soldiers that frequent this area?”

“Check if she has a bag”

“I wonder if she would cry if I ripped it off her head?”

“Her father probably raped her, that’s why she’s shy”

I am by no means a passive, let people roll over me, let it slide, turn the cheek type of person. But ignorance is always palpable and around every corner in this area so I let it slide. I let it slide… until…. this slender “I would date a sixteen year old if she looked right” man and his “I am the sixteen year old that looks right” girl approach my table visibly intoxicated. They actually thought it was a good idea to speak. They either thought about this scenario a little too much or not enough because they strolled up to my table too jolly for my liking.

The skeleton man, with his potentially underage partner in slime in tow, came to me and spoke. What he said was laden with swear words, slurs, words that I can only guess about, and spittle. Lots and lots of spittle. Here’s my kosher and SFW translation:

It’s really disrespectful of you to wear that (points at my head wrap) around here. The troops are honorable and they don’t need constant reminders of why all their friends are dying. You need to take that off.

Now, the military has taught me several things that I value. Because of those harsh lessons, I carry a knife. More precisely, I carry a tactical knife. A benchmade 556 Griptillian. It’s sharp. It’s always concealed on my hip. By the time I heard their giggles and saw them swaying towards me, I had already grabbed Bessie (my knife) and had her in an ice pick grip with the edge out and the tip aggressively carving into the wood of table. It took them too long to notice, but I noticed when they had just begun to notice. The misguided young lady flexed her arm to reach towards me — not sure what the she was intending to do without getting her fingers sliced off — but I pulled the knife out of the table and flipped it around in my palm and pointed it at her. She was not as stupid as I thought because she stopped her advance.

What came next is the best and most accidentally craziest — and probably sexiest (to the right person) — thing I’ve ever said. To this day, I can still hear how low and scary it sounded to my own ears.

“If you, or your cousin-husband ever reach to grab my head wrap again, I’ll castrate him up to his neck and filet the skin off your thighs.

They blinked. I didn’t blink. They blinked again. I must have been a good liar. I can’t even cut a steak without crying about the dead cows and their families that wonder why they never came home that day.

I watched their retreat. Either deciding I was an actual threat or I wasn’t worth the trouble, they went outside to smoke. I tried to calm my shaking hands down. I paid my bill to an oblivious waitress who either didn’t care what was happening or just honestly didn’t see anything. (I’m going to keep my faith in humanity and say she didn’t see.)

As I’m leaving, I see them in the parking lot. I keep my head leveled to watch and make sure they don’t try anything dumb. But, alas, drunk people are dumb. They didn’t physically assault me. But verbally, they were adamant with their prejudice. I heard several things, including “troops” and “Muslim bitch.” I needed to put them out of their misery. I needed the satisfaction that came with my next move.

From the safety of the driver’s side of my car, I pulled my military ID out of my pocket and flashed it at Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum.

“BITCH I AM THE TROOPS”

Samantha Black

Samantha moonlights as a feminist pterodactyl whose only pickup line is "you like bread, or nah?"

  • Ooooh. You are good. This read like a great and intense Grisham novel.

    I probably would have held it up to her nose and pricked a little, so a small trickle of blood would drop down to the pool of p i s s that would have puddled under her.

    Side note: I went to graduate school in Morgantown. I SOOOOO understand the struggle of trying to be Black, alive, and not fucked with.

    • L8Comer

      My cousins live in Morgantown! They are also Jamaican.

      • BeautifulSunshine

        For a moment I thought the author was you.

        • L8Comer

          Lolol, nope. I do have a sis who served in the army tho. She doesn’t wear head wraps but her hair alternates between fuschia and turquoise. She is however just as chilling as the author… maybe more so.

          • BeautifulSunshine

            Bummer. I am not that brave with those hair colours, plus my hair needs lots of TLC, atm. On a side, I will attempt to make festival over the weekend.

            • L8Comer

              Let me know how it turns out!

              • BeautifulSunshine

                I shall.

            • Kas

              We will need pictures.

              • BeautifulSunshine

                I shall provide.

              • Blueberry01

                LOL!

            • Nik White

              #wigs
              #clip ins

              • BeautifulSunshine

                Hair is loc’ed

      • Dougie

        How Sway?! I’ll pray for them.

        • L8Comer

          lol they’ve been there forever.

        • RBeezy

          We Jamaicans can handle our own.

          • Tdoteaglefan

            You dun know!

    • Sigma_Since 93

      Did you burn any couches??

      • Did I burn any couches? Is couch code for weed? And by weed, I mean hookah. Then yes. Lol

        • Sigma_Since 93

          You’ve never heard the slogan…..West Virginia. Where lessons are learned and couches are burned.

          • I missed that one. :-)

    • The Pedagogue

      Queen, I’ll be sending my two oldest daughters to Morgantown in a few short years (gymnastics scholarships, YAY!) and I still can’t get comfortable with the idea of them being BROWN and being in West Virginia. PLEASE tell me how you coped and let me know that it’s not as bad as my overly-irrational fears are making it out to be.

      • Are they going for school? There is refuge in places like the Black Student Union. Coming from FAMU it was culture shock and hard adjustment. I ended up distant learning.

        • The Pedagogue

          Yes, they’ll be going to school there. I didn’t see a TON of brown faces on campus, but the ones I talked to, including the young ladies on the team felt like the school was getting more and more diverse every year and like there was/is a concerted effort being made to reach out to people of color and be more inclusive. That sounds great in theory…

          • Joseph

            Awe. You poor victim. Let’s weep together about how heavy your cross is. I will shower you with the pity you seek.

            • Bob Miles

              Aww. Poor Joseph got his fee-fees hurt when the scary not white person wasn’t intimidated by his racist buddies.

              • Kim Kacer

                Don’t feed the troll, just block it, it can change its ‘nappies” in its mommy’s basement w/o any attn from sane people. It obviously leads a sad, sad existence, or it’d have better responses &/or things to do than spew negative crap to strangers in a lame attempt to get a little human attention. Pity it, but most of all block it. I did as in under 3 comments I could see it for the very piss poor troll it is. It’s not worth your time (as you seem sane).

            • Just to keep Joseph’s comments in the proper context – Joseph is a regular on American Renaissance, a White Nationalist site like Stormfront. You can read his history of racist, nasty comments by going to the disqus site and search on his handle, @disqus_kGMZsK3shY

        • Bwhy

          Shout out to Queen@ the RATTLER IN THE BUILDING! We bleed orange and green! Okay, that’s enough from me. I’ll go sit down now.

      • Junegirl627

        My nephew’s college has a Multicultural dorm. all of the Black and brown kids live there and its close to where most of the cultural clubs and the black student union. See if that is an option at the girls new school

      • Jetblakc

        I lived out there for a few years, until 2011. It’s not too bad around the college campuses, and even away from them it’s mostly just rudeness.

      • Jeff

        Morgantown is one of the better places to be a person of color. There is a more educated population there. As a Caucasian male with many friends of different ethnic backgrounds, sexual orientations, and cultures, Morgantown is becoming much more diverse. Please don’t think that all West Virginians are like those encountered in the article…those types of people make me cringe.

        • Joseph

          Awe. Your nose is so brown. You got it right up in there between the cheeks. Time to collect your atta boys from the minorities you’re so desperate to impress. Please continue to talk about certain whites whom make you cringe but never, and I do mean never, mention inner city gang thugs who ruin entire cities, read at a 4th grade level and say things like “nawmean.” If you follow this blueprint, you will continue to receive pats on the head. Just keep disparaging your race and you will be well.

    • Trill Mickelson

      I used to drive through Morgantown a lot going between Maryland and Ohio. We stopped there once to get food, walked in, looked around and went “nah,” went back to the car, and never stopped there again.

      • Sylviaghindman

        Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !su526c:
        On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
        !su526c:
        ??
        ??;?? http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash426DigitalExpressGetPay$97Hour ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????::::::!su526c:….,…….

      • Yahmo Bethere

        We used to make that drive on our way to Ohio. WV fucking sucks.

        • Elizabethwstrauss

          Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !sf205c:
          On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
          !sf205c:
          ??
          ??;?? http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash495DirectHappyGetPay$97Hour ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????::::::!sf205c:….,……

        • Joseph

          Detroit is so diverse and full of black excellence. I mean yeah, it resembles Mogadishu, Somalia, but it’s really black and that’s what counts.

        • Lisa Davidson

          Good Lord, I read that too quickly and thought it said “VW fucking sucks.” Sorry!

      • Joseph

        Chicago is much better. Very safe city. Detroit, too. It’s a black paradise.

        • Everyone: if I were you, I would ignore anything Joseph has to say. He’s a regular on American Renaissance, a White Nationalist site like Stormfront, You can read his wealth of racist, nasty comments by going to the disqus site and search on his handle, @disqus_kGMZsK3shY

      • Joseph

        The writers made up story is so good. I mean she included the younger girl and everything. I feel she should have injected nascar and Budweiser to really drive the made up story, home.

        • Everyone: if I were you, I would ignore anything Joseph has to say. He’s a regular on American Renaissance, a White Nationalist site like Stormfront, You can read his wealth of racist, nasty comments by going to the disqus site and search on his handle, @disqus_kGMZsK3shY ..

      • Samantha Kellie-Ann Black

        I usually do that but for this story my hunger won the battle.

    • Diane Brown

      That’s right. …she told them right when she said “I am the troops”. Racism isn’t disappearing any time soon….only in America.

    • Samantha Kellie-Ann Black

      I can’t stand the sight of blood, that’s why I didn’t lmao

    • Which obviously makes it fiction.

  • “If you, or your cousin-husband ever reach to grab my head wrap again, I’ll castrate him up to his neck and filet the skin off your thighs….”
    Sounds sexy to the right person?
    Sure, in a Texas Chainsawy kinda way.
    Glad you weren’t physically scarred, and you managed to call their bluff though. Kudos.

    • Diego Duarte

      9.5/10

      Needed a goat-humping reference thrown in somewhere.

  • L8Comer

    Oooooo I loved this???. So curious about the NSFW version of what they said. Your retort gave me chills! thanks for serving our country by the way!

    • Samantha Kellie-Ann Black

      I want to tell you but it’s actually pretty gross.

      • L8Comer

        You can tell me. I can handle it, although it makes me sad. Great post btw!

        • Samantha Kellie-Ann Black

          Oh thank you very much lol
          (Still not telling)

          • L8Comer

            no worries. It’s probably for the best. Life is disturbing enough. I look forward to more posts from you!

  • Nice knife!

    Way to keep your approximation of calm.

  • TheCollinB

    There isn’t really a necessity in me being proud for you to not allow yourself to be disrespected, but I am proud for you. As much cold cash shyt the black Internet has talked about how anyone lacking both melanin and racial couth could catch hands I’m skeptical of most being about that life. Violence rarely solves things but sometimes it’s the only language folks understand, and it seems like you were about to get real fluent.
    glad no harm came to you fam. be safe outchea.

    • grownandsexy2

      “Violence rarely solves things but sometimes it’s the only language folks understand”

      Sometimes you have to speak to people in their language.

      • TheCollinB

        I wouldn’t disagree

      • Mochasister

        Isn’t that a shame? She was just minding her own damn business when these toothless rejects from the Deliverance decided to bother her. They should have been at home with their uncle/daddy cooking up their evening meal of roadkill. But nah. Let’s go bother this person who hasn’t said or done anything to us. I hate cowards and bullies.

      • Kim Kacer

        Or just bullies… get in their face… any I ever dealt w/ backed off real fast… except occasionally the really drunk ones. (But, white, so ymmv… I ‘get’ I have a certain lvl of ‘white privlege’. I know I get away w/ more than some people might be able to)

    • Samantha Kellie-Ann Black

      Thank you sir :)

  • Other_guy13

    I don’t know how to feel right now. On one hand I trying to grasp what these two clowns did. On the other you just called him her “cousin-husband”. Great story….I’m glad you got out okay because it could have ended very badly for you and them. I can only imagine their face when you drove off

    • TheCollinB

      The sad thing is the type of people she interacted with no doubt changed the story when they talked about it with their friends. In their minds they made her feel so bad and afraid that she left immediately. Nobody spins a story quite like a coward.

    • Val

      Well, I mean, she could have called him her brother-husband. So it seems like she held back a bit.

      • Other_guy13

        Very true. I’m just glad she made it out alive. It could have escalated quickly.

  • Tyrell Holmes

    Thanks for your active and continued service. I hear the transition from active to the reserves is crazy. I’m still active duty and I carry my benchmade wherever I go even when I’m in civies.

    • BeautifulSunshine

      Aren’t there Muslims, Hindus , Sikhs and other non – Christians serving in the US military? So are those persons disrespecting the troops by being enlisting?

      • Tyrell Holmes

        No, not at all. I have a Soldier that works for me that’s Muslim. He is one of the hardest workers in my section and everyone gets along with him without any issues.

        • BeautifulSunshine

          Trying to figure out the logic of these people.

          • Negro Libre

            Explicit displays of racism usually go along with low levels of intelligence.

            • Val

              I don’t agree. Some very smart people are running around being just as racist in public and otherwise.

              • mr. steal your costco samples

                co-sign. agree 1,000%

              • Negro Libre

                What I meant was simply, that people who are explicitly racist around the wrong people tend to be dumb. Of course there are those who are smart enough to know when to hide their racism and where they can be open about it without facing consequences.

            • Diego Duarte

              It’s funny because they claim they are an average of 15 IQ points smarter. Dumbest MFers I ever met have been racist.

            • Brown Rose

              A lot of racists are smart. See Bannon, Sessions, Pence, David Duke, your neiborhood doctor.

              • Negro Libre

                I did add the word “explicit” tho?

                • Brown Rose

                  Doesn’t matter. I have been subject to being called an N*gger when I was five to a white “neighbor”. Dude owned a boat and was some kind of executive.

                  I have overhead banking bros say some of the racists cr&p that would rival anything a toothless redneck could come up with. Some of those guys come from places like Harvard, Yale, etc and were head hunted into those jobs as quants.

          • Deeds

            Don’t waste your time, there is no logic to it.

          • L8Comer

            Don’t do that.

        • Kas

          Where you been hiding out?

          • Tyrell Holmes

            mannnnn life bro…but im back…I really only hang out in the comments section when I’m at work…it’s hard to keep track via iPhone…but I’ve been traveling for Uncle Sam, but I’m back steady now

      • Cheech

        And by saving their comrades’ lives? Ask Khizr Khan.

        • cakes_and_pies

          I remember this story The disconnect about wanting to serve your country and protect your freedoms while giving Hayle to those of a different religion who are serving is astonishing.

        • Scott Lockwood III

          Officers don’t enlist. Also, they don’t have expiration dates on their ID’s, because you can be called back at any time by the service.

  • Brown Rose

    That was a nice Pam Grier move. I can relate. Did my time in USAF. Got out before the war. I wear headwraps all the time too. I have dozens of them.. It has been problematic with long locs down past my waist, and i am not in a multicultural area.

  • PriceIsRightHorns

    “BITCH I AM THE TROOPS”

    Bravissima.

  • Val

    I was totally with you until you flashed your military ID. Eff them. You didn’t need to show them anything. You didn’t need to justify or prove anything to them. Let them wallow in ignorance and hate.

    But, good on you for pulling your knife on them.

    • Brown Rose

      Good point. She didnt but it wouldnt matter to them anyhow.

    • cakes_and_pies

      She’s just breaking down the notion that only White men want to serve the country, but I’m a biased military brat whose Mom and dad served in the Army.

      • Val

        I get that. I just hate it when we try to prove anything to racists.

        • Diego Duarte

          Considering they’ll never even try to believe you, it really is a fcking waste of time.

          • mr. steal your costco samples

            yeah they’ll just be like “yo the Fort Hood shooter had a military ID too” or sumisht

            • Diego Duarte

              Exactly. Even if you prove them wrong then all you accomplish is them judging you positively at the individual level. It won’t stop them from harassing other people of color, because they still judge them at the collective level.

          • cakes_and_pies

            Not always. A White man apologized to my Mom for saying she wasn’t really disabled (due in part to her service) because she walked “just fine” from the parking lot to the door. She set him straight and walked away red-faced.

            • Mochasister

              Idiot. Not all disabilities or illnesses are visible.

        • Kim Kacer

          Hmm… I didn’t see it so much as proving anything… aside from what ignorant asshats they were… but I get it, and agree… just the WAY she did it… was more a middle finger
          “stay there in your dumb-assery and try to use that ish between your ears next time.” kinda vibe… but… that’s just me, maybe.

    • Yahmo Bethere

      I don’t think she was “proving” so much as letting them know that they disrespected the military they think they love.

    • Samantha Kellie-Ann Black

      I didn’t really do it for them.
      I did it for me.

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