That rabbit is not happy.
I have no clue how or why women come up with the terms they come up with for the various random instances of affection and attention.
Boo.
Boobear.
Love muffin.
Skeetskeetmookmook.
Cuddle bunny.
It’s no wonder why our kids in the Black community have the most random first names or are named after medical conditions like Rosacea. Or Excema. Or Herpesia. But motherf*cking cuddle bunny takes the cake. I remember the first time a chick used that term while telling me she’d met a guy that she might be willing to make her cuddle bunny. I was like…whaaaaa? Cuddle what? Did you call that ninja a bunny????
Real spit, calling a man a cuddle bunny is another in the long line of male emasculating terms. Just like calling him harmless or weak or limp-d*ck noodle slanger. If a woman were to actively refer to me as a bunny I might be forced to commit a felony just to keep my own esteem up.
But what is a cuddle bunny? Women all know that its the male equivalent of what happens during cuffin’ season. It’s that guy that women call over to…cuddle. Nothing more, nothing less. Sure the possibility for smangage exists. If you put enough air and opportunity between a man and a woman with an attraction for one another, there’s a strong likelihood that the woodpecker will take care of the morning wood, if you know what I mean, heheheheh.
But that’s not the goal. For many women, having a man be willing to just spoon and cuddle shows her that this man views her in such a light where he’s willing to not have sex with her. He actually just wants to be there with her. Holding her. Wrapping her body tight. My my my. And I think we can all agree that’s the highest form of glory for many women. This man values her as a person, not just a piece of meat. And that’s lovely.
Wonderful even.
But I kind of wonder how many men know they’re being cuddle…bunnied? It’s kind of like the infamous term that we all know and love, jumpoff (as was pointed out to me recently). Men turn chicks into jumpoffs all willy nilly. Or something like that. Except I reject that deposit. No pr0n swallow. Actually…yeah. See, any chick who’s been turned into a jumpoff more or less knows it. Short of pure unadulterated delusion, women know when a man wants nothing more than the snappy nappy dugout. Remember, men suck. We disappear. We only call when its that time. Most chicks who are afraid of being jumpedoff ask a million and one questions to ascertain their status pissing us off in the process but hey, we get it.
A cuddle bunny on the other hand…
[...quick aside...did anybody think Jumping The Broom was a good movie? Do you remember that this movie ever came out? Me neither...]
…is a man who’s trying to get in there – and the chick knows this – who is willing to do what it takes to get there. And ye olde women are exploiting that man’s god nature and heart for personal satisfaction and affection.
Disgusting. Just terrible. That poor sap is over here with balls bluer than Cookie Monster on the 27th ring of Saturn but he’s putting in his work because he’s hoping he’ll get to the promised land, which doesn’t just mean smangage, it could also mean relationship. Basically, any man willing to put up with spooning on multiple occasions actually likes the chick. Except she’s likely not decided what she wants from this dude, ya know, aside from the temporary foot warmer he’s become.
Most women will say that by being the cuddle bunny he’s gaining access to a slot…well not a slot per se but a position…well not a position per se…but a connection that a lot of other men either would love to be in or just wouldn’t have a chance to see. He gets to come to her place and lay up next to her and watch a movie…with her. The lucky guy!
*leprechaun heel click*
Except, she hasn’t decided if this will last past her options or her attention span. And she’s calling the motherf*cker a bunny. So dude’s putting in the simp work, being emasculated, and paying for carry out from Pei Wei Express all for the chance to hopefully get some drawz that actually are on 50/50 status. And yes, I know that sex is a privelege and not a right. Woopty woop woopty woop woop.
All I know is that for all the women out there who feel like they get played by men, if you’ve ever had a “cuddle bunny” then you are just as bad and you should get a stern talking too and finger wag. Let the bunny go. Figuratively and metaphorically.
And stop calling men bunnies. It’s not right. It hurts. It might be provocative and it might get the people going. But it just not right…okay! You can’t just leave cuzzin’ Harold in the street to die.
Real talk.
Ladies, do you believe in having a cuddle bunny? Do you think it’s part of a man’s work to show you he’s worth it? And what’s up with the damn “bunny”? Men…how do you feel about being a cuddle bunny? You’re probably one right now and don’t even know it.
Sad.
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. CUDDLE DEEZ aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3
Also, check out Panama’s article at Ebony entitled “Motivation: Daddy’s Little Girl” and Champ’s article, also at Ebony entitled “Don’t Be Like Mike”. Ball so hard.
I can’t speak for women on this subject. I am a woman, but I like my chex without cuddling. I prefer that ninjas do their cuddling with their pillows…in their own house.
you sound like an anomaly. or an FBI spy. i’m leaning towards spy.
I’m gonna go with anomaly. I’ve been told I have about 65% man qualities, so I guess my “cuddlebunny” status goes with that. Cuddling is something I do only if really, really like a guy and want to appease his togetherness tendencies. My rule is…we can cuddle until I fall asleep. After that, get on your side of the bed and don’t touch me until it’s time to wake up.
I think my own “man qualities” are around 70%.
70%? What kind of scale are we using here? Is it really that high?
I have done the coming and we ‘arent supposed to do nothing thing”.But if she didnt give it up by the end of the night that was the last time she saw me. The trial night to see if shes lying or not is worth it. She better be a liar.
“I prefer that ninjas do their cuddling with their pillows…in their own house.”
YES! The only way I don’t mind cuddling for more than a few minutes is if the super forgot to turn on the heat and all we have is our bodies to keep us warm. Even then it’s like yuck, it’s been 5 minutes, please move.
+1
I’m guilty of purposely picking out nicknames for my dude friends that are harmless as hell. Cuddlebutt, honeybunny, Snugglekins, et. al. just to see how much they’ll put up with from me. And they usually take it. *kanyeshrug*
I don’t necessarily believe in cuddling with the bunnies. The bunnies are my men; the group of dudes who keep me on track with what’s real in the world. There are only three. They’re like brothers* so I just call em that to annoy them and get their attention.
As for an actual “cuddlebunny”…ninja, you cuddle me, we go together. I don’t do physical closeness with people I’m not feeling that way; you get a handshake when we first meet and might never be touched by me again. Nothing personal, I just like my space. I intentionally leave my touches and cuddling for those I’m expressly and deeply interested in. So…no. I don’t cuddle for cuddling sake.
*Yes, given what I said yesterday I see the irony in that.
your entire first paragraph proves that you are evil.
Does not prove…mildly hints.
judge wopner would make you pay. GUILTY.
Sorry Tes. You’re evil. But you’re cute so it kinda evens out.
^__^ I’m cute? Cool!
In my defense, they let me do it…
LOL that’s the same thing men say about us when people tell them they’re foul for making us jumpoffs loool
I’m the same way… with the contact at least. I’m very formal with people I’ve just met.Men especially. There’s no reason for us to be touching even casually if we’re not romantically involved.
+1
@Tes
I agree with everything you said, particularly…
“I don’t do physical closeness with people I’m not feeling that way; you get a handshake when we first meet and might never be touched by me again. Nothing personal, I just like my space. I intentionally leave my touches and cuddling for those I’m expressly and deeply interested in. So…no. I don’t cuddle for cuddling sake.”
…and therefore don’t need to write my own comment.
ninja, you cuddle me, we go together
LOL exactly!!
“…. you cuddle me, we go together…”
And that arse is getting felt on and rubbed in the most flagrant manner while I’m there… Think I’m playing.
“And that arse is getting felt on and rubbed in the most flagrant manner while I’m there… Think I’m playing.”
I’m Sigma_Since 93 and I approve this message.
I loooooooooove getting my arse squeezed and rubbed by my bf. It just really turns me on!
Fin.
and i bet you i wouldnt mind one bit. handle business!
“And that arse is getting felt on and rubbed in the most flagrant manner while I’m there… Think I’m playing.”
It better.
“And they usually take it. ”
#ThatsWhatTesSaid
#LikeAG
I am SUCH a petnamer. All my male friends can get called whatever rolls off my tongue. Only had one negative reaction to it, a friend didn’t like when I called him “honeyface” so I started calling him by his govt name. He requested that I resume petnaming, but just pick something else, lol.
Honey Face? Where they do that at?
What did you change it to? Bar-B-Que Neck or something crazy like that?
Lmao.
Now I call him pumpkinhead or punkinchunk most of the time. He requested a specific petname, but he didn’t realize that folks cain’t choose em. They get chose.
“ninja, you cuddle me, we go together”
Exactly!!!!!! LOL!
If we cuddlin’ we cuffin’…
i like the way you think.
Right, this is a fake problem. This stuff only happens in movies. Real women who invite a dude over to cuddle have sex on the mind JUST AS MUCH just don’t wanna sound like a h0e.
U AINT GOTTA SAY TOO MUCH BY DA LOOK IN YA EYES I CAN TELL U WANNA FUCK. AND U AINT GOTTA CALL ME YA BOO JUST AS BAD AS U WANNA FUCK I WANNA FUCK TOO……….
Amen Sista!!!
I don’t think I’ve ever had just a “cuddle bunny”. Those that started out as cuddle bunnies eventually reached the promise land as long as he didn’t completely mess it up. Some of my favorite ex boo thangs started that way!
i’d rather be somebodys’ boo thang than cuddle bunny. though boo thang sounds like the most ghetto of love and romance novels. somethign written by Noire or a chick named Levitra Jenkinsvitz.
With that song by Mary J Blige and K.C. playing in the background off speakers from somebody’s car at the redlight.
And it’s sold on busy streets but ONLY when it’s a red light.
*Dead*
i’ve never in my life been in a cuddle buddy situation. yeah *some* women have tried to place me in that category but what they underestimated is my power of persuasion. my mouthpiece is a great convincer. double entendre.
either way i never got the point of a cuddle buddy. get a husband pillow or a snuggie or a teddy bear. why put a dude through all that? you know he wants to f*ck. you more than likely also want to f*ck. why go through all the games?
they go thru the games for 2 reasons:
1) to prove that they can pull that sh*t off
2) to convince you that they not a ho, and to get with them you gotta be chief lotsa dough
3) women are evil.
i might start hitting women with the cuddle buddy sh*t. you what though. i’ve done it before, now that i think about it. it only works once or twice though. after that and you run the risk of looking suspect. it also takes a lot of willpower.
There’s another (potential) way to combat that cuddle bunny syndrome, but it’s a gambit. If you’re in the midst of a cuddle session, take a phone call…doesn’t matter from whom….and act like you gotta go immediately…like something better came up. She’ll wonder what or who is so important that you have to leave her side….so much so that she’ll either 1) stop calling you as a cuddle buddy, or 2) elevate your status from cuddle buddy to something more concrete. Like I said, it’s a true gambit, but sometimes you gotta play your trump card.
*You’re right about that mouthpiece…when used effectively, it’s a truly powerful tool.
I have never had reason to do that but I could see how that would mess with a woman’s head
I approve if not used in a mean spirited way
that’s actually not a bad strategy.
Nope. You would be deemed rude and unworthy of cuddle bunny status, boo thang status and definitely unworthy of the box.
WC…girl, you know some women would fall for that and chase him down because it was a blow to the ego. Others would put him in the phone with that DNA status.
well more than likely if a woman is only using me to keep her bed warm then who really lost?
How do you know if a woman is just keeping you as a bed warmer? Maybe you are just being impatient.
the premise of the post is for women who do such. you can tell if a man just wants you for sex right? i assume it would be something similar. you don’t want to hang out with me during the daytime. not saying we have to have sex but other physical activity outside of cuddling is forbidden.
There are plenty of women who don’t know they are being used or are in denial. It’s not always obvious. (To everyone.)
Tabernacle…Cause it’s soo much bigger than “Chuuuch”
damn playa, did you really have to put that out there for all of chickdomkind to see?
1 and 3 mostly.
Mostly #3
Tests more than games. Still frustrating.
Huh. This is odd. From what you’re saying it sounds like, while you’re expecting the women to know you want sex… You haven’t actually expressed that in the situation. So… You’re expecting indirect communication to lead to something more… But the woman is the one playing games? Huh.
no i don’t expect her to know anything. if i want to have sex with a woman i’ll make it known in one way or another. i’m not 16. most men who spend a considerable amount of time with a woman they’re attracted to want to have with them. i’m not about to sell you any pipe dreams stating otherwise.
Have you had it that you’ve told a woman you are interesting in sexin’ her up but then she says she just wants to cuddle and will NEVER EVER EVER have sex with you? Has this really happened?
maybe i misunderstood you. no that has never happend to me. and if it did i would tell her that we should both cut our losses at that point.
you know he wants to f*ck. you more than likely also want to f*ck. why go through all the games?
why does it have to be about games anytime a woman decides she doesnt want to easily or readily give up her goods?
ive never been a woman to f*ck first and ask questions later. for me, a sexual encounter is just as much an emotional commitment as it is a physical one. im not going to sacrifice my vadge without some investment beforehand. in the meantime, i dont think i should have to forfeit ALL intimacy.
Get that said sister friend, ALL of that.
“why does it have to be about games anytime a woman decides she doesn’t want to easily or readily give up her goods?”
Lol Gem you know the rules….Men are already quick to claim we’re playing games with them all the time so don’t do anything or they will think your leading them on! For example I love to tell dirty jokes but I don’t with most men for fear of them taking it the wrong way and accusing me of playing games. So do not tell dirty jokes, do not cuddle, do not smile or make direct eye contact or they will say that you are playing games because you don’t want to sleep with them right away……. lol
so you’e putting telling dirty jokes and smiling at a guy on the same level as consistent spooning? oh ok.
As they say, spooning leads to forking.
so they say but you have to give men more credit than that. i’ve never thought because a woman smiled at me that she wanted to me smell her love below. now a smile combined with other factors? yes but a smile alone? no.
Trust me. I agree with you! I don’t think the smile and dirty joke equals much of anything. People smile at dogs, strangers in the grocery store and ugly babies. But if there’s a smile, flirting and random requests to come over, then what man wouldn’t think that he needs to follow the yellow brick road and he may be off to see the wizard of oz? Women shouldn’t use someone as a bed warmer. It can be perceived as misleading and evil. God gave some random person the intelligence to make electric blankets to keep us warm….
“God gave some random person the intelligence to make electric blankets to keep us warm….”
+1
lol no, I didn’t say all these behaviors are equal (It’s a list) but all these things tend to make guys think that we are “playing games” or maybe that’s just in my experience. I swear if I look, smile, compliment someone or anything that its taken as if I’m playing games if I’m not interested (when I’m not flirting I’m just nice) so of course I understand that men see cuddling as playing games.
“im not going to sacrifice my vadge without some investment beforehand. in the meantime, i dont think i should have to forfeit ALL intimacy.”
As long as there’s full disclosure upfront then there SHOULDN’T be any problems. Once you’ve told dude and he can’t hang then it’s on him.
Sidenote, I’m somewhat salty with you; I showed my wife the video from this Friday and she’s calling me to the carpet on the $90 ties. Damn you Gem Jones
100% of dudes these days would RUN from a woman who says upfront she won’t have sex until commitment. 100% of them. That is terrible advice. If a woman on a first date give you full disclosure that you aren’t getting the goods until she has a ring, you will think she is a crazy Christian right winger or damaged goods somehow.
It’s great advice. The woman gets to set the rules of engagement (ring, 30 days, 60 days, etc.) As a man, you know what your are working towards and if you can’t deal, hopefully he has options.
I’m sorry there isn’t a guy today who wouldn’t walk away thinking she was crazy or had read Think Like a Man one too many times.
Not true SweetSass. First, this isn’t a conversation you have on the first or second date. You are getting to know the person. Now when the conversation is brought up, that is when you say what your intentions are. If the guy has a problem then keep it moving. I think by not stating up front how you feel, then you are playing games for fear of the guy running away. You are allowing for him to set the expectations for you. People compromise but you shouldnt compromise on something you feel strongly about and if someone wants you to do that, then let him walk.
Right but this whole chastity club thing directly conflicts with dudes who (out of not wanting to be simps or NiceGuy buddies) adopt the 3 date rule… ditch her if you ain’t smanging by date three.
These directives set at both sexes are just completely set up for disaster.
@ SweetSas
Why can’t we be real about ours especially when we claim to want folks to put on their big boy / girl pants?
As a man, I would rather for you to tell me I’m going to take this slow. We will have intimate moments but intimate does not and will not always translate in you sweating out my perm / weave. If you are waiting for marriage to share your gift, tell a brotha; you would rather have him walk now then become emotionally invested and find out he’s dipping to feed the need.
I don’t honestly believe in waiting for marriage. And even if I did, I guarantee I’d be single until I died if I took that approach. No one has those values. Those are mythical. Be scared of the dude who is willing to wait until marriage… he is seeing someone on the side… probably a man.
For some reason, I cant respond to your other comment so i will comment here: “No one has those values. Those are mythical. Be scared of the dude who is willing to wait until marriage… he is seeing someone on the side… probably a man.” This is the most ridiculous comment that I have seen in a long time. This is along the same lines as men are dogs and at $hit. Granted, I will admit that it is hard to find someone that is willing to wait until marriage but I do not think that it is hard to find someone who is willing to wait until a relationship. Again, it comes down to how much is the person feeling you. I agree with Sigma: let the man know how you feel from the beginning (like when the conversation comes up) and then go from there. But writing off every dude like they aren’t about anything is just a disaster. You are simply stating that from the moment you see a man, he is crap and you will have to put up with his crap in order to be with someone. Come on now? You have to know a least a few good guys who arent jerks and are straight.
Mena you beat me to the punch. Well said.
I’m not saying ‘write all men off as crap’ I’m saying… understand their nature. There is no perfect man out there with perfect manners and who is a perfect gentleman who is interested in waiting until marriage. And don’t think that setting an arbitrary timeframe to ‘give up the goodies’ will somehow uncover this guy.
I think it’s best to just go by what feels right. Trust your gut. Be an adult about it. Because if you think he can’t tell you are setting up some artificial scheme that you got from a relationship book that told you 30/60/90 days was the formula you are selling dude’s perception’s short. They know. And for the scummy dudes, that is just a challenge and for the normal dude… that is just a turnoff that you are following some relationship guru and trying to manipulate him.
Couldn’t agree more
Just wanted to add that most of these dudes don’t have women beating down the door. Tell a dude you waiting for a relationship, you might have get you an ‘old man’ right then and there, LOL.
i worry about your faith in men in general. if a man made blanket statements like that about women, he’d be labeled a misogynist.
Guys do it all the time on this blog. No one says anything. Are we reading the same blog?
So Sigma, you’re saying that you personally would wait until marriage to have sex if a woman put down those rules….
You’re a liar or a Christian fundamentalist.
I’m saying provide me with the knowledge so I can make an informed decision. I have been in that situation before I got married and I told the young lady that I would not be the best canidate to date; I did not want to be the guy pushing you to compromise what you believe in to satisfy my wants / needs. Also isn’t that one of the complaints that women have is that they’ve compromised so much of themselves to be with a man??? just sayin.
I’ve also been in situations where I’ve been told that I have a 90 day rule before I would even sniff the panties; this lady is now my wife.
Exactly. When you are feeling someone, you will meet them half way and sometimes 3/4′s of the way.
or 100% of the way.
You say there is a guy out there who would wait for a woman until marriage, I’m calling bullshit on that. You wouldn’t do that yourself… so on what basis do you think this is good advice? “Do as I say, not as I do.” There is no guy who would (in fidelity) wait for anyone… no matter how perfect she is. That is fantasy.
You’re saying women should believe in this fantasy, that if they tell the guy… we’re waiting until marriage… if he is the mythical ‘Right One’ he will wait. That is not true. Find me this guy and I will eat my hat. This is why so many black church-loving women are single as f*ck. This is the recipe for spinsterhood. They actually believe they have a soulmate out there sprung straight of a Tyler Perry movie, who will be faithful and play out their picket fence story. These guys do not exist.
I was in a wedding 6 weeks ago. She was still a virgin when they got married. They were together for 2 years before marriage. She explained to him from the beginning her expectations. He explained to her that he was looking for a long term commitment. They don’t go to church regularly, he is liberal and she is moderate. She was 26/27 when they met and he was 30/31. This isn’t fantasy, this is their reality.
Well SweetSass, I am the guy that waited until marriage. I thought I would never be that dude but I was and do not regret it. Though if it wasn’t a long distance relationship I’m not sure it would have happened. When she dropped the bomb on me I was shocked but I already knew in my mind I was going to marry her and I wasn’t going to let her decree ruin our relationship. Now if she would have pulled this and we lived in the same town instead of 1000 miles away? Maybe be wouldn’t be married, maybe I would have been down. Who knows?
What 100% YOU looking at? I’d say about 97%. 100 is a bit of a reach.
LOL. It all depends on how much the guy is feeling the girl. Bottom line. When a person’s feelings get involved, there are things that people say they will never do until that one special person asks and then all bets are off.
Do you also believe in the Tooth Fairy/Santa Claus/Easter Bunny? lol. That is some Rom-Com Movie brainwashing. People do not operate like this in real life.
@ SweetSass
You need to get out and change up your dating pool.
To be clear, if I like you and you like me. We’ve both have had chex before but I want to beat it down NOW!!! but you want to wait (a week, two weeks, whatever). So you’re telling me that my options are a) manipulate you so that you submit to my will, b) have a piece on the side, or c) bounce?
Sigma, thank you b/c I am not understanding her comments…at all.
And i would ask you what nightmare are you living in? Your comments (on this post alone) suggest that men are just crap. “100% of dudes these days would RUN from a woman who says upfront she won’t have sex until commitment. 100% of them.” Seriously?!? 100% of men???? You honestly believe that 100% of guys would run from a woman who wont have sex until a commitment is had? I must have found the .0999 then b/c this is ridiculous. All that i am saying is that when someone feels another person, they are willing to compromise on some things that they said they would NEVER do before.
Yes, I absolutely do. I think if a woman has her time when she is comfortable having smexytimes… KEEP IT TO HERSELF and just don’t have sex until it feels right. And make sure that she is really comfortable with that timeframe, not that she got it from some stupid book. Telling a dude is never a good idea. A guy who just wants your pants will see it as a challenge and a decent guy will think you are nutso or trying to play games or been burned too many times. It creates instant-awkwardness… so by saying, I believe in 90 days (which is only three months btw)… what do we do in the meantime… hold hands and sip fountain drinks at the hop? I mean, it’s weird and retro and very stilting thing.
My mom met my dad at a New Year’s Even party… when he came with another date… and they ended up in bed together that night. They are still going strong 30+ years later. Go figure.
“KEEP IT TO HERSELF and just don’t have sex until it feels right. And make sure that she is really comfortable with that timeframe, not that she got it from some stupid book. Telling a dude is never a good idea. A guy who just wants your pants will see it as a challenge and a decent guy will think you are nutso or trying to play games or been burned too many times.” I guess we just see things differently. To me, keeping it to yourself will just cause a guy to push harder which will make the situation way too uncomfortable. If you are upfront then at least he knows where he stands and he can make a decision from there. There really are no guarantees with anything but i would rather be honest from the jump then hold information back…which i guess isn’t being dishonest but isn’t it kinda, in a way? A decent guy, to me, wouldn’t think something was wrong with you. He would see that these are the rules she has laid out and either i jump on board or excuse myself and find someone different. The latter option doesn’t make him a jerk either. It makes him honest with himself and the girl.
Say it Again, and Again!!!
Yeah and the 3% are gay and want you to be their beard. Ha.
lol @ beard… yasss for the Queen’s English!
@SweetSass
100% of dudes these days would RUN from a woman who says upfront she won’t have sex until commitment.
this def isnt true. ive never had a dude run from me when i make this stipulation clear. EVER.
possibly because many dudes think they can change your mind about sex. they think a cunning oral transaction (word to Trina Braxton lmbo) is gonna persuade you into allowing peen entry. and if they want to spend time “persuading” me, well, im not one to argue…
You didn’t offer it up…. until they made a move. That is what I am saying. A woman should have sex when she is good and ready but handing out early disclaimers ain’t in her favor.
Knock that number down to 99.99%, because I’m not one. Saying that would speak up the evaluation process, and my p0rn collection might have to grow on a brother, if you get my drift. But outright rejection because of that? Nah. If I’m leaving right after you said that, it’s because of something about you that no amount of brain can fix. Heck, I’m glad you didn’t give me that knowledge in that spot, so I can think with a clear head.
ummm i’m currently in a situation where she has made it 100% clear that there will be no s*x before marriage. i respect her for it. am i running? naw.
Well hallelujah and Yankee doodle to this comment. Yes! Proof that wonderful men still exist!
*shakes Mad Scientist’s hand.
Well, I’ll eat my words when you get married.
i’ll save this post in my favorites and bring it up at a later you cynic you.
Please do.
I had an old coworker who actually had ‘the right’ to wear white on her wedding day last year. Her hubby knew it wouldnt happen before the wedding. They were both Christians.
Like someone said ^ your view of men might have something to do with they type you come across.
Eddie Long also is a ‘Christian’.
I know I’d be mad as hell if I waited my whole life to get married a virgin and found my husband was like Mr. Long or Ted Haggard or whatnot.
Case in point, (I’m no virgin, full disclosure), but I met a guy who was really up on his Bible and told me all this good stuff I wanted to hear about waiting and getting to know each other and we started some pretty chaste dating (parks, baseball games) and whatnot. Come to find out he has full nude photos with his wang out on Craigslist saying he is looking for a discreet woman because ‘he is in a relationship with someone who won’t give him sex’ and he has ‘needs.’
If it is too good to be true… it probably is.
Agreed. There are a$$holes everywhere, but there are also those guys who are just great men.
Just want to testify that your perception of 100% is ridiculously flawed. I would hate for any woman to believe you and not open her mouth and tell a man what she wanted. I was a virgin when I meet my current boyfriend. (And NO I’m not a prude or awkward or socially unacceptable). Along with my religious beliefs, I hadn’t found anyone worthy of the goodies!! My boyfriend waited 7 months before we had sex. He was patient and understanding and THERE. He wasn’t sniffing up another woman’s skirt or acting cross because he had to wait. He’s a DECENT man (like so many men are) and he wanted it to be when I was ready.
Now he wasn’t a virgin at all…Actually, far from it. He’s college educated, good looking, great personality, active member in his fraternity, has a great career…Long story short. He’s not OFF or crazy in any way. He’s a wonderful and desirable man.
Fast forward to today and we’ve BOTH recently decided to hop on the celibacy train and wait until we get married to have sex. Our relationship with God is important to both of us and although we know this is the “right thing”, it’s not the “right time” according to our beliefs. So we’re going to WAIT….So don’t let ANYONE shut you up about what you want. No matter what you believe, there’s someone out there for you. And that’s real.
@Sigma_Since 93
i am def the type of girl to let a brotha know what will and wont go down from the gate. of course this isnt disclosed while we’re out eating dinner or walking through the park. but the minute you make a move to kiss me and let your hands do some roaming, we need to break for air so you can understand whats gonna happen. and despite the many arseholes ive dated, ive NEVER had a guy be like “nah im good”. ninjas stay around, and are more often than not the initiators of the cuddling and other acts. *shrug*
LOL @ you getting called on your $90 tie game. HILARIOUS!!! ill happily take the heat for that
who said anything about forgoing all intimacy. my thing is don’t have a dude in your bed cuddled up with you if you know its not EVER going to go anywhere. if you’re feeling a dude out and it eventually goes there then so be it. no one (at least i’m not) is asking you to f*ck the first time a dude enters your bed. but i’m not just going to be a body to keep you warm with no hopes of anything, whether it be physical or emotional as PJ pointed out:
“which doesn’t just mean smangage, it could also mean relationship. Basically, any man willing to put up with spooning on multiple occasions actually likes the chick.”
But if a guy bounces because she won’t have sex with him on the first date (cus he ain’t no punk)… well then it truly will go nowhere.
Why do you have a dude in your bed on the first date? $hit, why is he even in your house????
I’m not. What I am saying is… so many guys are deadly impatient yet they want a woman to make them wait… THAT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE.
This is why you do what makes YOU comfortable. The person who is truly interested will make “reasonable” sacrifices in order to have some sort of relationship with you.
Word.
I agree. We are talking about two different thing here though…
I’m talking about men’s unreasonable and conflicting expectations of women.
You are talking about what to do with a guy who is sweatin’ you.
So yeah, we don’t disagree but are just talking about different points.
We do agree. But, my point was moreso suggesting that we should not worry about why there is a conflicting expectation. Men and women are plagued with contradictions.
” I’m talking about men’s unreasonable and conflicting expectations of women.”
This is why you sit back and watch his reaction when you set down your expectations THEN determine if he is worth having or needs to not let the doorknob hit him where the Good Lord split him.
Actions will always speak louder than words. I mean, i love to hear wonderful words and sweet nothings but when your actions don’t match up, it is time for me to reassess the situation and act accordingly.
who said anything about a guy bouncing because sex ain’t happening on a first date? at this point in my life i don’t even want to have sex with a woman on the first date. for what? i’m trying to build something towards a future and surely having sex on a first date probably will get in the way of clear thinking.
I’m not talking about you specifically but there are a bunch of internet tough guys on this thread here talking ’bout how if they ain’t smanging they ain’t hanging around a woman. Well, with that attitude, how do they expect to find a woman they say has ‘morals’…
” but there are a bunch of internet tough guys on this thread here talking ’bout how if they ain’t smanging they ain’t hanging around a woman. Well, with that attitude, how do they expect to find a woman they say has ‘morals’…”
oh my god, having sex on the first date or waiting until you get to know him better in a certain time period does not demonstrate morals. While I do agree that its imperative to get to know a person well without sex clouding things in order to find out what their morals are, I also know that how soon a person has sex has very little to do with their morals. We have killers, thieves, people who cheat on faithful spouses, cruel people et cetera who wait a long time to have sex.
I put it in quotation marks because these guys are usually the same ones who complain a woman sleeping with every man except them.
I don’t believe it has anything to do with morals either. Ok. We cool?
@Tunde
my thing is don’t have a dude in your bed cuddled up with you if you know its not EVER going to go anywhere.
i agree.
I agree with this also.
A bunch of my female friends call me cute little pet names. But I don’t mind because that’s just how we joke around. However, a few women have tried to call me over for some cuddle-only service and I’d accept. Why? Because I was confident in my abilities that I was sure I could turn a cuddle-only session into a session that included us making an “Advanced Sex Ed” home video.
And I was right. This is where I thank the USA’s education system. In my quest to become a Neurologist, I had to take an Anatomy course in high school. I use this info for evil when it comes to my cuddle sessions. Touching places she don’t even know are “places” then BOOYAKA!!! Next thing you know, I’m making faces that make it seem as if I’m getting a massage from Edward Scissorhands, and she’s making noises reminiscent of a Velociraptor being eaten by a T-Rex. Good times.
Also touching is easier considering the chick is normally wearing loose and thin clothing (pajama pants, tank tops, etc) meaning she can feel everything I do.
“I’m making faces that make it seem as if I’m getting a massage from Edward Scissorhands, and she’s making noises reminiscent of a Velociraptor being eaten by a T-Rex. ”
Well then.
I agree, if a man has the gift of gab, accepting a “cuddle” invitation is like a game of poker.
Your description of the sounds of sex reminded me of Jurassic Park.
I actually don’t do “cuddle bunny” foolishness. I have a hard and fast rule (see what I did there?). I don’t spend the night with men I don’t plan to sleep with. I can sleep alone. Don’t get in my bed unless you wanna do something.
But that could just be me ( ._.)
it’s not just you.
No, it’s not.
Not at all!
Yo, I think it’s “cuddle buddy.”
while the common term is indeed “cuddleBUDDY”, i’ve heard the term “cuddle BUNNY” bandied about with reckless abandon lately.
so i meant the term bunny as its written.
Complete with the insinuation of punkage, huh?
Ah yes, then that changes things.
WTBS, any woman that calls a grown ass man “bunny” deserves to be donkey-konged.
Eitha way, dat sh*t hella corny. I wish i wud call a grown azz man a damn cuddle bunny! No thanx, i prefer “daddy”. Lol. I like alpha males. JS
Not that I ever used cuddle buddy/bunny either, but “daddy” makes me cringe. I got a Daddy who I love and have a great relationship with, but I DO NOT want to think about my Pops when I’m doing the grown-up. No.
No disrespect though. To each her/his own.
Lmao! I hear ya.
“Papi” works, doe
Yep.
“doing the grown-up” has to be a top 10 euphemism.
Ladies, do you believe in having a cuddle bunny? Do you think it’s part of a man’s work to show you he’s worth it? And what’s up with the damn “bunny”?
No. No. And I have no idea. Being “cuddle buddied” is like ten times worse than being “friend zoned”.
I don’t cuddle. It’s too cute and twee for me. Gets folks all up in their feelings. I don’t like feelings. And I think bunnies are evil. All bunnies, all the time. Just twitchy little balls of scheming malevolence. So if I call a dude a bunny, well, he may as well just grab his sht and get out as quickly as possible.
And I think bunnies are evil. All bunnies, all the time. Just twitchy little balls of scheming malevolence. So if I call a dude a bunny, well, he may as well just grab his sht and get out as quickly as possible.
*cackles*
Too funny!! And real talk!! I have had a couple “cuddle bunnies” in my day. And when I did get a full time offical Boo I affectionally called him “BunnyBear”. He HATED it! But I called him “bear” cause I love cuddling with him. And I called him “bunny” cause we would do things like rabbits if you catch my drift. But he still to this day actually cringes when I say it. Lol!!
[...quick aside...did anybody think Jumping The Broom was a good movie? Do you remember that this movie ever came out? Me neither...]
Yea I actually went to see it (with my sister) when it first came out. Between watching a very aesthetically pleasing Paula Patton and Megan Good I say it was pretty good (on the black movie scale). But this scene here was worth the price of admission: http://www.celebritymoviearchive.com/tour/movie.php/32202 . As in the words of the late Bernie Mac….”Claude have mercy!”
If some girl would call me a “cuddle bunny” I’ll probably say “silly rabbit, tricks are for kids.”
I actually liked Jumping The Broom because of the cooking scenes and conversations in the kitchen between chef Gary Dourdan & Megan Goode & Loretta Devine’s playing someone’s mama for the 50/11th time, Mike Epps, and that pretty movie New England sunlight.
Man, most bout every woman in that cast had SOMETHING errr….ummm… “loveable” about them. I wasn’t mad AT ALL.
“I was like…whaaaaa? Cuddle what? Did you call that ninja a bunny????”
lmao… that picture in my head just was funny as hell!
‘Ladies, do you believe in having a cuddle bunny? Do you think it’s part of a man’s work to show you he’s worth it? And what’s up with the damn “bunny”?”
Cuddling is okay if we’ve already done the do and he wants to stay, which then may lead to several more rounds.
HE’s worth it? In the words of a playa… “you gettin just as much as you giving.” In that aspect, we’re both worth it. Never imagined any of the men I knew as a bunny… lol… they are not that furry or have big ears! lmao I cuddle with my dog once though and my dude got a little jealous. I guess that’s a dog thing. 
Was the dog better at cuddling than the dude? (that might be why dude got jealous) lol
The dog is pretty damn good at cuddling. He never complains, loves every minute of asexual contact, and always comes back for more. I would say more, but then Panama would be accusing me of thinking that men don’t have feelings again. Just cause I’m hard on some men doesn’t mean I think all men have doggish ways.
I’m guilty of calling up a guy that I was interested in for a cuddle session. It was more so to gauge his level of interest. “Is he really watching this movie or is he watching me?” Sometimes a girl just wants to be held. Right or wrong. Good or bad. It’s the truth. Nowadays though I’m not about that life. Sure its permissble for us to cuddle but I’m human… And I’m only attracted to human males and while I may be attracted to a guy its not in my best interests to continue the cuddling sessions especially when I know that they always lead to sex… and I don’t want to be a tease or lead him or myself on especially if I’m not ready to deliver.
Agreed. I’ve definitely had times where I just want to be held. And I wouldn’t make that request of someone I wasn’t attracted to and already dating.
“Most women will say that by being the cuddle bunny he’s gaining access to a slot…well not a slot per se but a position…well not a position per se…but a connection that a lot of other men either would love to be in or just wouldn’t have a chance to see.” <– LOL PJ. Cute.
I don't believe in cuddle bunnies, per se. I require servicing from any man in my bed. If you're laying there with me, I expect some smangage.
Side note: Dudes seem to get upset at all nicknames that aren't "Mandingo" or "Big Daddy" or something ridiculous among those lines. One of my dudes is upset at being called "my dude" (yes, I use that as a title as well as a term of affection/endearment). He thinks it's disrespectful (o_O) , on the lines of me calling him "son".
Personally Mandingo (or any other nickname in that realm) had better not refer to me unless immediately before, immediately after or during smangage. Anytime past that is as lame as son or bunny.
In.My.Chest.
On.Everything.I.Love.
Never.Again.
I crack up laughing every time I scroll down to read comments and read this again.
Me too girl. Each time I read it I hear Kevin Hart imitating his Uncle Richard Jun. Lmao
Say it with your chest! lmao
Glad y’all enjoyed it.
SAY IT WIT YA CHEST LIL N*GGA!!!
Dag, Petey, that’s way too real for ‘em. Let that chick breathe…
I have a lot of female friends and sometimes they call me those type of nicknames but it is understood that we are just friends so it doesn’t bug me because I know it is just their way of showing affection.
I do not go over to a girl’s place just to cuddle. She can call me cuddle bunny all she wants but if she calls me over just to spoon, I will say no. It makes no sense to me to go over there, spoon and end up heading back to my place with blue balls. I don’t see the value in doing that when it is not a sure thing. If my gf wanted to do that, it would be done but I can’t see many ninjas who would do that for a girl they cannot claim as their own
All I’m saying.
There are men who do this simply bc of the way a chick looks.
They are bloody idiots then
If a person doesn’t respect their time, then no one else will. I can’t see why any dude would want to be just a pillow
For the chance that the girl may change her mind and he can hit.
“If my gf wanted to do that, it would be done but I can’t see many ninjas who would do that for a girl they cannot claim as their own”
Basically.
I would never refer to a man as my “cuddle bunny” for any reason other than to get cussed out. Also, I don’t really like cuddling; I move a lot when I’m asleep and love my personal space. I cuddled w/my ex once, but it started getting hot & he damn near put a leg lock on me, so yeah… no *lol*.
Matter of fact: Any woman that would dare insult a man like that after sleeping with other men all willy nilly, ain’t worth a pile of dawg excrement. Like they learned something…oooh, ya special….you can block a hole.
Yeah, well I was washing dishes at the age of 5. I learned how to block a hole too. Ya simple brick.
LMAO….(Y’all’ll need to excuse me…I abhor such a repugnant abuse of permissions & the exclusive rights to permit or deny based on nothing more than perception. If I was lying, I’d be sliding but you don’t respect the truth.)
This sounds like a personal story. Do tell
No personal story to tell. Just evil women. I’ve seen too many close friends in this agony & confusion. But I cannot have a friend go through that ever again. I tell him to get out…he doesn’t…we are no longer friends. I ain’t going back to acquaintance associated h*ll.
Dang, bitter much? If you are a 3 and you want a 9.. know your place #friendzone. Smh.
Hey you…Shut ya sass up!!!
I will be using “simple brick” in the future… and I will pay no royalties when I do so.
You are Black right? I would expect nothing different…smh
I’ve never called a man a cuddle bunny to his face, but I like the concept. A dude being pressed for p$&sy is so lame. If you can just chill, hold me and no try to f@ck that shows an incredible amount of self control, which means you can get it. Slow and steady always win. Literally
All that’s well and good, but you’d have better proven your worth before hand. Don’t ask me to be that intimate, and I don’t even know your last name. I think that’s the jacked part.
So what you’re saying is, this is wrong? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJ5yGLS9_Qw
Did she really call him “chipmunk” tho?
That ain’t eeeem right! Everyone knows only Mama Wayne can call somebody “chipmunk.”
Cuddle bunny? LOL…I’ve heard of a cuddle buddy…You’re right “bunny” is very immasculating…Never used the term but I may have been guilty of the action ”/..
But here’s the thing, you say that a girl knows when she is a jumpoff, but there some sad little girls out there who are “jumpoffs” just hoping that one day this man will turn around and change his ways and want more than just sex (crazy I know, but i’ve seen it happen).. I think a man who would on MULTIPLE occasions end up in a girls bed just to be her cuddle buddy is a sap, and just as dumb as the fore mentioned jumpoffs… Yes, yes the 1st couple times it’s sweet and adorable… But after that, there’s this thing called com-mun-i-ca-tion. What the hell do you want out of this relationship?… Because if you don’t say anything females will sure nuff take advantage of what seems to be willingness to be nothing but a “cuddle bunny”….
Sorry No sympathy…
Women & Men we think the same in many ways, one of those being, if your giving us what we want with no commitment most of us will take it.
Disclamer: I was just saying…lol… I don’t keep cuddle buddies anymore, it’s pretty immature. I agree with Tes for the most part, nobody in my bed until we’re monogamous.
“if you’re giving us what we want with no commitment most of us will take it.”
And there folks is the bottom line. Learn it. Understand it. Live it. It will save you time and trouble in the future.
the only men i’ve called bunnies are two kappas: funny bunny (questionable sexuality) and chubby bunny. other than that, it’s cuddle buddy for me
<–I cannot believe I didn't think of this earlier. I'm klowning at the next Kappa picnic
yes, IAYP. join me. muahaha! i see what you did there with the “klowning.” that ish kray.
I am not or into any kind of torture of cerulean balls to expect a guy to just cuddle on call and that’s it. You grow, become less naive, and less selfish of your wants. I have no intentions of cuddling with someone I haven’t considered in that way and folks know good and well what spooning can turn into. Cuddling is not “the act”, but it can in some ways more intimate than the act. There is a certain amount of tenderness to hold someone or just be held that eff buddies or friends with benefits, to my understanding, don’t receive.
When two people are in love and having a chexual relationship…not just willy nilly cuddling, a lot of nicknames are tolerable. Plus, real talk, the men don’t mind it at all due to the nature of the relationship. You are claiming each other and there’s a “honeymoon period” and a certain level of intimacy. Also brothas may not mind because the woman has sense not embarrass him by speaking whatever intimate nickname in front of his boys, family, or over aisles in the grocery store, etc.
Dang, typos…
-”or”, +”be”, -”the”, +”to” .
CERULEAN!!!!!….. X_X
But yes, i’m wit you Legit Soul. Like a mug.
Don’t know bout this one. I like to cuddle and all, but I like the chex to come first. Now I also enjoy cuddling without chex, but not just with random folk, I might change my mind and decide I want the chex as well.
#1. i am guilty of coming up with the most emasculating nicknames for my boopieces. honey bunny, honey bunches (of oats), pookie poo, baby cakes, etc. i cant help it. they just roll of the tongue. ha! i dont call these names out in front of company so really only he and i know that these names are uttered.
#2. i LOVE to cuddle. i enjoy cuddling and “making out” with a guy im really feeling. its never my sole purpose to have a “cuddle bunny/buddy” just for cuddling’s sake. i need to be in a committed relationship before having a full on sexual one. so for me, cuddling and other activities allows me to be intimate with a guy before being fully physically/emotionally invested–an intimacy preview, if you will. though im up front about my expectations and boundaries, i recognize this can be frustrating nonetheless. *shrug*
See, this sounds reasonable and all. This is what men are expecting to endure. This is NOT what happens.
It is always how you didn’t drop the toilet seat so you are inconsiderate, or how you hogged the blankets cause you were a lil cold and now you are selfish. All the while you are being judged, she expects that you put up with her flaws and all. This double standard makes absolutely no sense but women love to play the victims and then are quick to try and point out a diva dude or a bitter man….or the fact that a ninja ain’t got nothing, ain’t sh*t and the many ways/reasons he ain’t neva gon’ be ish.
I wish a woman would do that mess to me personally. I’d probably just get mad, get really nice, be a really great guy and then just disappear and stop accepting her phone calls. Because more than anything else, feeling like you aren’t worth the time is the WORST feeling in the world. Kill them with kindness. Right?
Aside: I love for the “cuddle bunny” post you went from Sagey Bear to Sage of Silence. Well played
And who gave him that nickname in the first place?
\O
So?!?!?!?
(Snickers) Good catch, IAYP!!
Eh, it was really only for that reply. I was too lazy to actually type in sagey bear and sage of silence was what my browser saved. I ain’t smart enough to be that devious…or…err…intentionally premeditated.
ummmm Sage of Silence–what da HAYLE does any of your comment have to do with mine?!?!?!?!?!?
My first sentence…sheesh!
Awww…I call all my very close dear friends “Pookie Poo”. It makes my heart feel warm just to see it written.
lol ive taken to calling my godson pookie poo. hes the only new man in my life who has my 100% adoration
“Boopiece” sounds like it belongs on the menu at Popeye’s. Like a bucket o’ chicken for two.
Just out of curiosity, what part of the chicken would the “boo piece” be and why should we want a bucket of them? This is what the people want to know.
Nah man. A combo somewhere between a two piece and a bucket.
youre so thought provoking!!
Only to women in the lower 48… *still laughing at harvest festival*
“Ladies, do you believe in having a cuddle bunny?”
I’d like one. But for cuddling my options are limited to open minded gay men, super-but-not-TOO-super Christian dudes and men with testicular cancer.
*creates a dating website for such issues, advertises on TBS at 2am*
Dead.
But of the three, Christians and cancer are out so it would be open minded gay man by default.
That is so wrong. A gay man has to give up his free time to cuddle heterosexual women? Foregoing using that time for his man or potential man to cuddle who? Lol
LOL @ CuddlersMeet.com
basically, anyone whose wang ain’t aimed at you.
@I Am Your People
After reading the article, I scrolled all the way down to read your’s first! Damn, ain’t you crazy and hilarious!
LOL IAYP you so crazy
i actually know a guy who likes to cuddle more than any woman that I know. I think he just likes the softness and the warmth. *Pause* As for me, I only cuddle with guys I have some level of romantic interest in. Constantly having something to hold onto reminds me a NY Times article on men marrying Japanese body pillows. Maybe some women should invest in those
.
No, those things are creepy. As with most sexual things out of Japan. Not judging, just saying.
Lol yeah they are. There’s a whole industry based off those things. Maybe plain body pillows.
Get comfy! http://www.overstock.com/Bedding-Bath/Dream-Man-Arm-Pillow/5894513/product.html
No. lol
LMAO!!!! This is the funniest/creepiest thing I’ve ever seen (aside from the Burger King character).
LOL I remember this! I o_O it then and I o_O it now.
That sounds a lot like this 30 rock episode. http://youtu.be/0xIwP2Jg6zw
“i actually know a guy who likes to cuddle more than any woman that I know. I think he just likes the softness and the warmth.”
I don’t know if this is a good thing, or if he’s like Lennie Small from Of Mice and Men
LMFAO!!! @ Lennie From Of Mice and Men “And I get the tender wabbits” bwahahahaha!!!
This whole topic has me on TEN and I ain’t even had that kind of experience. The closest I came was 5 years ago the week from January 11th-15th.
I went over because she requested my company. She braided my hair. It was cool. We had decent convos. Took a few pictures. Laid in bed and kept each other company. We grind a lil here and there. Of course, I’m like “YEAH BOI!!!” she was like…”Well, I never!”
We have the same conversation the next few days with her suggesting that I go down on her, JUST BECAUSE. I ignore that. Before I leave, she calls me arrogant. I ignore that.
I’m a guy, so I’m slow. I realize years later that she was trying to slowly indoctrinate me into the “fold”. But if we communicate on that level, then we would have been horrible anyway. I wasn’t too frustrated behind it. I don’t even think I got blue balls from it. However, from that moment forward, I will not spend time hanging around with a chick that don’t know how to say what she want.
I do know she liked me. *evil grin* Just scared cause I was a full foot and a half taller than her. She’s like 4’10…I’m like 6’3 (in boots)….shut up…lol
How about I did a little go Sagey dance behind the 6’3″ reference? No cuddle.
Thank you… I think. I’m not actually 6’3″ tho….
Bunny? I thought it was buddy. And I thought cuddle was replaced with the word f-
I used to cuddle with an actual bunny. A gray dwarf rabbit named Mr. Pepper, yet I was kind enough to let him run free in my basement. And even kinder than that, when I realized how allergic I am to rabbits, he was placed in a home that had actual female bunnies with whom he could smang wit.
As affectionate as I am, I draw the line at treating men as rabbits. And I’m never ever gonna be allergic to a man. I don’t want him for his cuddle. I have needs.
As for men who accept this from women, I’m going to need you to check yourself for moobs. Extra estrogen might be storing itself in the body you give away only for cuddles with that woman.
” Extra estrogen might be storing itself in the body you give away only for cuddles with that woman.”
+1- That beer commercial comes to mind. “Man up!” (In authoritative baritone) lol
I’ve never had a cuddle bunny nor would I cuddle with someone I wasn’t intimate/sexually involved with. I don’t need to cuddle to get to know you or whatever because eventually your actions will tell me everything I need to know. I’ve also never heard a woman refer to a man as a “cuddle bunny” lmao.
So I’m not the only one…
You are definitely not the only one…..
Girl of course not lol you know I’m always #teamWIP
LOL, I’m on #teamChanelle. What I look like referring to a grown man as “bunny?” Now “duck” I think is still acceptable.
“Now “duck” I think is still acceptable.” lmao……..all of u are too damn funny on this site! I’m suppose to be doing homework!
I’m not cuddling with you unless I am interested in you. I dang sure ain’t calling you over just to hug and watch TV unless I want to invest in a relationship with you. I have to be comfortable with the person and actually see the possibility of a relationship to go this route.
I knew a girl that was your Monday post and your post today. She was the chick that it seemed every guy on campus wanted to hit. Honestly, for the life of me I just didn’t get it. Guys would fall over themselves just to be her cuddle bunny. They would write her poetry, spend money on her, etc. She would flip if you didn’t give her attention and would consider it your duty to cuddle with her at her beck and call. She was also the most selfish person I had/have ever known in my entire life. Actually she is a text book narcissist. The way that she used men, I swear a book could be written. I am saying that to say, women, like men, who are treated differently their entire lives bc of their looks are the people who do this childish crap bc no one ever calls them on it.
“I am saying that to say, women, like men, who are treated differently their entire lives bc of their looks are the people who do this childish crap bc no one ever calls them on it.”
VSB: where smart people say smart things…
Cuddle bunny? What? I like my bunny’s in stew or roasted. I don’t cuddle food & d@MN sure wouldn’t call a possible S/O cuddle bunny or some other “could be food” type name.
Like A Woman Eye’s said “…I’m going to need you to check yourself for moobs.” Cause cuddling with no attachment sounds suspect…like you trying to provide you like girls suspect…ijs.
Cuddling is awesome after sex but I’m guilty of the cutesy names because they run in the family. Boo boo, big bear, Papa Kushy Tushy….it’s all love. Just don’t say them while or immediately after sex.
Papa Kushy Tushy?
Nein, Nein, Nein.
Das ist inakzeptabel
I am nobody’s damn cuddle bunny. In fact, I can’t even see myself sharing a bed with a woman if there’s no sex going on…..whether that be at that exact time or sometime in the past.
Are you really getting nonstop invites to hang out in women’s beds? Is this a real problem for you?
*giggling*
LOL, you never know, that man may be extra “cuddly.”
I wanna be SweetSass when I grow up
No. But I do occasionally get asked to do other things by women that their boyfrineds/significant others should be doing. And that is just as bad.
Um, why are you getting upset at something that is purely hypothetical, you are letting ‘NiceGuyTM’ mentality make you ill.
That is like me saying… IF VIN DIESEL EVER ASKS ME OUT, I’mma play hard to get. Riiiiighhhhtttt…
*Prays to Vin Diesel’s abs*
Moving on, you allow yourself to do things these women’s boyfriends should be doing. Who is to blame except you?
SweetSass, Technically he said he was *asked*, he didn’t confess to actually doing it.
Why is he upset some silly woman asked him to do something for nothing? I don’t stay upset about things that pass and go…
Just a couple days ago I was sitting on a bus and a dude held up his phone with a pic of his wang on it and asked me if I would hit that… I stood up and moved away from him. Haven’t let that bother my mentality or get me upset b/c he is a perv. Why would he get upset that someone asked him to do her favors? Just say no and move it along.
I didn’t read him as upset at all. Annoyed, irritated maybe but not upset. Something tells me if he was truly upset, there’d be no doubt that he’s pissed.
Well, I will admit that I get asked to do more things than I care to actually do.
I’m all for helping out the homies….regardless of gender…..but when I am asked to do something that clearly a significant other should be doing…..Nope.
When I was an undergrad there was a guy interested in making me his boo but I didn’t like him like that. But I would hang out with him. One time we were chilling watching the television and he started playing with my feet. Well the next thing you know that cat was sucking my toes. Ew? I did not know until then that I loved my feet to be caressed etc but I loathed that guy. Whenever we’d hang, I’d throw my feet onto his lap and he’d get busy. This was the extent of our physical relationship; we didn’t even kiss or hug. Was he a cuddle bunny?
It’s stuff like that which probably the reason a sister has been stalked on numerous occasion…
a foot fetish! I think he had a crush on those toes. lmao
He sounds like the type cat that would probably be sniffing your panties if you left the room long enough.
I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that you might not think that constitutes intimacy but for him… toe curling good times (pun intended.)
LMAO! I agree with all the other commenters above by saying yes this is something that was intimate to him so yes he was a “cuddle bunny”. Shame on you lol.
Here’s the true test of if your lady friend is serious about you or if she’s pure evil:
Does she have on the Betty Boop shirt and sleep pants with her hair pinned up and says hold me? = serious
OR
Does she put on her finest matching VS panties and bra set and matching bath & bodyworks scents and say “just hold me” KNOWING your wang could break the rock of gilbraltar like a ginsu knife = evil. I would suggest that dude run but the blood needs to return back to his feet first….and that may take awhile.
*LMAO*
ROTFLMAO!
@ sigma since 93
D.O.A……..
Side-note and IMHO: I have seen numerous requests for “cuddle bunnies” on FB and I think it’s soooo not classy. Ooh…because it’s cold outside, you’re lonely, in need of warmth and it’s that season…it’s okay? Sadly, these women are the same ones who get upset when a man inboxes them about sex. I mean if I was a man I would too if you are asking for a cuddle buddy. To me its just a glorified booty call. Seriously what woman asks a man to sleep in her bed… JUST to keep her warm? (____) Fill in the blank.
They need a body pillow.
“But that’s not the goal. For many women, having a man be willing to just spoon and cuddle shows her that this man views her in such a light where he’s willing to not have sex with her. He actually just wants to be there with her. Holding her. Wrapping her body tight. My my my. And I think we can all agree that’s the highest form of glory for many women. This man values her as a person, not just a piece of meat. And that’s lovely”
Man I couldn’t even get through this paragraph without falling out laughing. #igotissues
LMAO!!! At least you’re honest.
“Man I couldn’t even get through this paragraph without falling out laughing”
lmao! me either……i guess #IGotIssuesToo
You should re-read this in morgan freemans voice too
When zookeepers or circus performers capture a Tiger, they have to domesticate it by making it jump through hoops, roll on the ground, let a man stick his head in their mouth without it being chopped off etc. The tamers use raw meat as an incentive for the tiger to put his nature in check.
It’s the same exact thing with women cuddling men. When a woman first finds herself attracted to a guy, she’s amazed at how strong, cool, smart he is and she wants him bad. However, she’s conscious that she’s not the only one to notice what this guy is and she knows that the man is aware of that as well and by nature a man is going to act on all that opportunity at some point.
So the woman, by her nature, seeks out to tame the guy so she can feel secure. She wants to hold hands in the public, she wants the arm over her neck when there are a lot of girls around. When it’s just you and her she uses her p*ssy as meat like the Tiger to give an incentive for putting your nature in check, and sometimes she might not even give it up, she will just make you cuddle for fear of losing it.
Now as men, you feel like your nature is under attack, and you feel like the woman is trying to control you; you feel it deep in your gut; but that p*ssy smell is conditioned in your mind and you ignore your fight or flight response and take all that emasculation like a kick in the balls. This is why women want cuddle buddies, innately they want the security of knowing that their man is theirs and theirs alone. So everything they do, is to make you less attractive to other women and only attractive to themselves.
Unfortunately though, the thing is that women have no limit to the abuse/emasculation they’re willing to give a man they want, so more times than not they emasculate him so much to the point that he becomes unattractive to them and they end up hating him and wondering why he’s no longer the guy he used to be. And the funny part is, when a woman is no longer attracted to the guy who did all she wanted, she’ll blame him for becoming weak and doing everything she asks. She’ll start picking fights, pointing out things that are trivial and causing fights, she’ll do everything to make you want to be the bad guy, and if you don’t do it by cheating or hitting her, she’ll go f*ck somebody else and then cry to you that she doesn’t love you anymore…by that point, you’ve been so pussified, you’ll be begging her to stay with you.
This makes sense to me.
Pretty much.
Realest shit I heard in like forever.
Can’t argue with this.
It’s your freedom vs their security.
Couldn’t have said it better myself.
And that is why you don’t put the p*ssy on a pedestral. Respect the woman, not the nani. Otherwise, you’ll get hurt.
And the people of the Lord say…Amen.
It’s not just about putting the p*ssy on the pedestal though – this is about war lol. It’s a war like Wit and Wizdom said: it’s a war over what will be the driving force of a relationship – The man’s freedom or the woman’s security. P*ssy is just one weapon, she still has guilt, she still has “you wouldn’t say that to your momma, sister, daughter”, she still has her tears, she still has the court system etc.
Your freedom to do as you please, your freedom to look at other women, your freedom to watch whatever you want to watch on your own TV, your freedom to wear whatever you like, your freedom to have sex when you feel like it with whoever is willing, your freedom to spend money on things you want to spend, your freedom to be upset, your freedom to talk or communicate when you want, your freedom to own your own property etc – they’re all under attack anytime you deal with women.
It’s a war, and just because women don’t acknowledge it like we would, doesn’t mean they haven’t wired up their underwear to blow us all up in the process, or that they aren’t actively thinking of ways to win. When you deal with terrorist, you understand that anything goes, and anything is possible. Personally, I suggest you shoot to kill aka you screw them then you leave them and then negotiate when they’ve been beaten down, but if you’re gonna live with them, be prepared for drawn out and stressful campaigns.
It’s funny, I was saying just the same thing upthread… about not being naive about a man’s nature and everyone pounced on me saying I must hate men, I need a bigger dating pool, I have no faith in a good man, blah blah blah….
But they are giving you the the thumbs up? For basically saying something even worse… that a woman can only get a man by manipulation and trickery.
SMFH… got damn’ the hypocrisy! *dies*
Lol, but you do hate men SweetSass, accept it and we’ll all have more respect for you. Also, I said what I said in preparation to get ridiculed, I’m shocked I’m getting thumbs up, you said what you wanted seeking agreement and you got ridiculed instead. That’s not hypocrisy, that’s irony.
For the record, all women see manipulation and trickery when other women do it, few admit it when the spotlight is on them. I’m guessing that most of the girls that gave thumbs up, weren’t giving thumbs up because they thought what I wrote applied to them, but they sure as hell had seen it in other women if not most, and that’s the biggest problem with women – they see the wretchedness that their peers do, but they never own up to their own wretchedness, and when pushed in a corner, they blame the closest guy they can find.
Um, so we both hate men then? You hate yourself too? I’m confused.
I agree with you about the nature of most guys but I disagree about the need for manipulation and trickery to get a guy to settle down. I don’t think any amount of trickery, guilt, scheming, etc. will get a guy to ultimately commit to you and stay faithful.
It’s all about luck in finding who is compatible with you. That is why I pointed out the fact my mother slept with my father the first time they met and they have been married 30+ years. She didn’t hold the goodies as a treat for obedience. The ship sailed on that. But they had other things in common and connected personally in ways that the benefit of staying together outweighted ‘freedom of singlehood’ for my dad.
I honestly think men benefit from relationships in far more ways than women do. We just are all brainwashed to think the opposite.
Studies have shown men who are married live longer and are healthier, women less healthy and die sooner than women who never married. But women are raised to seek marriage by any means necessary? Like moths to a flame.
Also, it’s men who CREATED the ideal of monogamy 3,000 years ago in the bible and such… They figured out that letting polygamy happen meant 5% of guys got 90% of women and 95% of guys got to be eunuchs. They weren’t happy with that situation. They invented monogamy so there would be a fair chance every dude had a woman at least once. So monogamy is a man’s triumph over his delusion of having a harem.
Funny thing is it’s not manipulation in the minds of women, it’s what they want. It’s the same thing in politics, Bush passes laws that go against the constitution, but because they are done in the name of security, it’s not considered manipulation if it has to do with security. Women will manipulate in the name of security, but they’ll never agree to the fact that they manipulated, especially when it’s in the name of love or romance.
I went thru a stage when I was younger and really wanted to understand how women think, so I went on the internet and I googled the books most read by black women, guess what I found: It was books in the erotica genre! So I went out and read a bunch of books by the most infamous black erotica novelist of all time; Zane. Zane’s books were so filled with manipulation, trickery, drama in the name of love and romance, that I was taken aback. So I went into the world and my eyes were open – women lived this. Women were manipulative without acknowledgement. They were tricky without ever admitting it. Unpredictability, mystery, inconsistency all synonymous with drama by the way, turned women on, and all those things were locked up in the books that they read and hid away from the world.
The same goes for men: are there men who only want one woman? Of course there are. Are there men who don’t cheat? Yes there are. However, if most men were tempted or given the opportunity to have more than one woman, would they take it – You bet your ovaries they will. Same thing with women, are there women who aren’t manipulative? Of course there are. Are there women who don’t aim to play games? I know a lot who try to do. However, the fact is that when the opportunity to be manipulative happens, most women are going to act on it, because there is no severe punishment for being manipulative.
Women just like men, many times, want to use force to get their way. Most men developed to use violence as their act of force, women could’ve, but they are the weaker sex, so they developed manipulation as their act of force. We live in a society that frowns upon violence, and will punish you with jail time for doing it, especially if it’s a man directing it at a woman, thus men are much more resistant to using it and it’s considered at the very least a complete lack of discipline to hit a woman. However, when it comes to manipulation, there is no law, or universal punishment for manipulating a man, and when a woman is in a stressed out situation where she wants to get her way, she has a lot less to restrain her if she feels the urge to use force to reach her goal.
church and CHURCH!
whens your book coming out?
I gotta start a blog first
First of all, I don’t know ANYONE man or woman who does this… just cuddles. Whatever, people are having chex. Period. Cuddling might happen before or after… but sex was in there somewhere.
Second, this is an issue where all ya’ll men are talking out both the sides of your mouth. One day you bemoan the lack of ladies in this world, women who keep their legs closed and wait for the right man. Or one day you’ll give out ‘sage’ advice saying to women, if you sleep with him right away… expect not to get that phone call he promised to give.
But that is not how you want it for yourself? Then ya’ll write tirades about this and that and teases and blueballs (as if that was an actual condition.)
BUT you can’t have it both ways.
Ya’ll are confused as hell about what you want. You say women don’t know what they want… Ya’ll truly have no idea what you want. If men got their shit together they could have what they want but they don’t. They use good women then bemoan when they can’t find one who ain’t bitter or jaded. If you were relationship minded you’d get both that affirmation to prop up your fragile manhood and sex on the regular… but you all have no idea or clue how to be relationship minded and want to have your cake and eat it too. That is not rational, logical, or based in reality.
I need you to do better.
Lol, how can you write this and claim that you don’t at the very least, dislike men. My God, I like when I get proven right, but damn, the utter inability to refer to yourself in a negative light regardless of what everyone can see is amazing, if not inspiring.
I think we as humans are starved of human touch in modern society. All primates, and we are primates, constantly touch each other all the time. But we’ve allowed custom and technology and whatnot get in the way of our basic nature which is to be touched, se*xually and non-se*xually. I think we shouldn’t discount the powerful hormones that touch can produce. Studies have shown cuddling can soothe a lot of ills and stresses in everyday life, they even have social events these days in pillow filled rooms where people get together just to cuddle nonsexually. I’m dead serious. Cuddle parties, no swing, fo real.
I saw a “cuddle party” on TV. It looked pretty creepy.
You sure that wasn’t an or-gy?
LOL, no it was just what SweetSass mentioned- a cuddle party. It was on some show. Meet-ups for people who just want to cuddle.
Yeah, that’s madd creepy.
Ewww. They’ll prolly have you cuddled up with someone that smells like moth balls…
No.
I think the argument is against cuddling with people who want sex with you versus cuddling with people who ONLY want to cuddle.
Right.
Yup and it’s so uncouth. Thirsty women trapping even thirstier men with lies & deceit….and I’m out just like a thief in the night…
LMBO SweetSass i swear 1yr ago i would have written this EXACT comment. ive fallen off on submitting my neuro commentary but im glad some one else is willing to pick up my slack.
LOVE IT!
Agreed. Babies aren’t breastfed, they spend their nights in cribs and their days in high chairs and carriers. From then it continues. Can you think of 5 nonsexual ways a 17 year old male can have body contact,skin to skin, with someone??
Girls at least do hug one another, hold each other, do each others hair, hold babies and small kids. After hitting puberty, a male has almost no opportunity to have human contact.
Men need to be cuddle bunnies more than we women need them to be cuddle bunnies.And a LOT of men would give up some of the s/ex just for human contact. Im old,been married. After a while old dude just wants to lay his head in your lap and watch tv and snuggle while sleeping.THen the women are all Mrs Roper and Peg Bundy, trying to get a lil sumthin.
Any man that knowingly signs on to be a “cuddle bunny” (I’m highly uncomfortable even typing that) or anything of the sort is a simp beyond redemption. No damn way I’m going over to a woman’s house with the intention of just hugging up with her. Now if it happens to turn out that way then fine (we just fell asleep or whatever) but rest assured that it would once and ONLY once.
……Cuddle bunny cuz? Smfh.
“I’m highly uncomfortable even typing that”
BOL!
“Ladies, do you believe in having a cuddle bunny? Do you think it’s part of a man’s work to show you he’s worth it?”
The “cuddle buddy” lifestyle never really worked for me. In the past, I’d hang out with a guy that liked me, be good company, but cuddling is out of the question. “Cuddling” IMO, is too much of a lead on if you’re not interested.
1. I’m a grown a.s.s. woman. I’m not calling any man “cuddle bunny.”
2. Here’s the problem with this idea. If I don’t like you like that, I don’t want you all up on me.
3. Cuddling with no interaction just seems like torture. I got feelings and hormones. I’m only cuddling with someone who has potential and I want to feel him out but not put out. If I’m “cuddling,” I’ve already decided that it’s going down sooner or later.
3. Cuddling with no interaction just seems like torture. I got feelings and hormones. I’m only cuddling with someone who has potential and I want to feel him out but not put out. If I’m “cuddling,” I’ve already decided that it’s going down sooner or later.
True.
Exactly! #teamWip
I cuddled once. There was no smangage cause I was not attracted to the man. He’s the one who “got too drunk to drive” and wanted to sleep over. Hes the one who asked to cuddle. His fault.
I like cuddling. A man who is willing to cuddle without a guarantee of smangage is more likely to get it. Because he isn’t trying to take something without giving something in return. That makes him more of a man to me.
Here’s the thing. Everybody likes affection. But most men don’t like to admit it, cause they have this disability called macho facade that they need to maintain. So they’re willing to sacrifice some needs to save macho face. It’s silly, but hopefully they’ll evolve. All this simp talk is coming from a place of insecurity. A man who is secure in his masculinity and knows he can get sex when he wants will not have a problem with cuddling. Thank goodness there are a few of them out there.
When chex or relationships are taking place, I have to agree that I have never met a man who did not like to cuddle.
It’s the real Guru of Smangage that actually can have the self control to wave the wang in front a woman like a carrot and flip the script on her… make *her* desperate and blue ovaried for him. Have her saying… “omg, why isn’t he trying to get at me… does my breath stank?” This takes skill and a gym membership.
Shh! Don’t be giving these game 101 students master level information. You’ll have them trying this out before they got the basics down and they’ll end up on their knees begging for poon.
*lol*
yeah but this method ONLY works if dude made YOU his Cuddle Bunny but yet you are hoping for more… not the other way around IF you strictly just want cuddle time NO S.EX EVER from him.
Why did you have to tell the good people my hobby?
Seriously, man. It’s one of my few outside hobbies that don’t involve working out. Then again, I could just holla at them White girls in the neighborhood next door. Hmmm… *cackle*
That is a can of worms we don’t want to open here. lol.
So, basically, if a chick is like, “but baby, it’s cold outside.” when she wants to cuddle, a dude can retort with, “yeah, and I know a way to get even warmer.” Smangage. Fin.
Now that I think about it, I had a cuddle bunny in college. To my defense, it wasn’t deliberate. He’d come by to watch TV, lay his head in my lap and hug his arms around my waist. He told me he felt like it was the best place to be.
He was attractive, but I didn’t know how to initiate. Apparently he didn’t either. I assumed he just didn’t want to go there. It was a tender moment, but I figured he did the same thing with his other female friends, too. I didn’t find out that he thought we had a “thing” until he got mad at me for making out with a different dude (come to find out, they knew each other…joy). Maybe he didn’t think we had a thing…maybe he was just being territorial. I dunno.
In the end, I never smanged either one of them.
Cuddle bunny? Um, nah homie. If we’re cuddling, we’re definitely getting the grown folk on. I don’t understand how a chick can have a kat come over, lay up in the bed– touch, rub & feel, and then be like “okay, it’s been real. Holla!” I’m not torturing a dude like that, and I’m not torturing myself like that. #FOH
Back in the day, I did have a foot massage kat #doe. But, that’s a bit different–he had a foot fetish, and I worked retail. It was mutually beneficial.
I like your logic.
Thank you.
Agreed.
*what’s up head nod*
This cracked me up on so many levels. I luh t-lee.
I luh you too cheekie!!
*daps and hugs and whatnot*
*cackles* teesh you are the SH*T!
Wow… TOTALLY in the minority here. I thought more of you would be more affectionate.
Personally, a guy would not be able to smang if we didn’t cuddle first. (and I’m not talking about him holding me long enough to unhook my bra) In my experience, those who refused to cuddle were horrible at chexing.
Cuddling, when done properly, is the best foreplay ever…
Cuddling is awesome with a man I actually want to have sex with. But a man I don’t want to sex? Who has the hots for me? I think it is mean. That’s like the grown-up equivalent of asking the dude who has a crush on you to carry your books and buy you a lunch and an ice-cream sandwich in middle school then making out with someone else. Such a cuddle buddy is liable to be asked relationship advice on the man she wants to smang.
But if you’re cuddling with someone that you have no intentions on actually smanging….then it’s not foreplay, it’s flat-out torture.
I don’t know anyone who does this.
I completely agree… I don’t just cuddle with anyone. If I cuddle it’s bc I eventually want to smang. I will refuse to chex with someone who isn’t into cuddling tho.
Agreed. Just make sure it’s foreplay and not the main course. Then some feelings might have to be hurt.
Indeed…
“And ye olde women are exploiting that man’s god nature and heart for personal satisfaction and affection.”
Basically. I think it’s foul. Then again, my opinion is biased, as I am a woman who doesn’t like cuddling.
Are there really chicks out here calling dudes over for cuddle-only sessions or is it that there’s a bunch of dudes who don’t know their ABC’s (Always Be Closing)?
These men in my opinon could only be categorized as the “FZD” Friend Zoned Dudes” which you guys should know by now that it IS NO LONGER A DEATH SENTENCE OR PURGATORY FOR YOU MEN — because you can be upgraded to “Fwb” or even “Boo” depending on what type of headspace she’s in at that particular moment (it a gamble though) so I can see why a man who is hoping to get upgraded would participate in such things.
Naw pimpin’, that friend zone is the end zone. A relationship black hole, not even light can escape it, once you go in, you stay in. I think what you are talking about is Option Zone.
Option zone is like picking up a free agent off the waiver wire, you can keep him or cut him, but he has a chance to make the team. The friendzone dude? That’s the dude selling popcorn at the concession stand outside the arena… he will NEVER set foot on the floor or make the team.
Just saying.
Best description of the FZ that I’ve ever seen.
Kudos, sir. Kudos.
Option Zone…. Oh okay.
Are you kidding? I know not one man that has ever come out of the Friend Zone.
Not one.
Whatever it was about the man that landed him in the Friend Zone could not possibly somehow become enough of a quality that the same woman all of a sudden lets him out.
I don’t think there is inherently anything wrong with cuddling and not sleeping with anybody. is it so hard to have intimacy and have it not lead to sex?
I think as long as both people know where they stand with each other and are open, everything’s gravy baby. However I’ve have plenty of friends i was cuddle buddies with, but all it took as PJ said was some morning wood to upgrade us from cuddle to cuddle-smash-cuddle buddies. I post a more detailed response later.
I’m confirmed that there are communion wafers that have more strength than masculinity… If this article is to be believed masculinity is extremely weak and fragile.
If all these things can emasculate you… how masculine are you to begin with? I mean, sheesh, just being called a pet name emasculates you? Really? That is giving someone else a lot of power over your self image.
Just sayin’…
Cosign, +1000, two snaps up. I know, right?
Putting your ass against a man’s love below, having his arms around you when he wants to have sex with you, but doesn’t know you don’t want to have sex with him, don’t associate anything sexual with him is plain mean. He could have spent the night cuddling and sexing the woman who thinks he’s hot, and not a neutered security blanket.
If she had said straight up on the phone “I want you to come over and cuddle. I have absolutely no sexual interest in you. I plan to send you home after I am done cuddling. Do you still wanna come?” what do you think his decision will be?
Question, is there a woman who thinks he hot though?
SweetSass, even somebody thought Flava Flav was hot. All them babies and relationships he’s maintained….
I posit: would they have been with Flav if he was broke. His ‘hotness’ derives mostly in his relative wealth and ability to be a fame springboard.
*head hits table*
We’re not debating whether Flava Flav would have a woman if he was broke. And to answer the question, broke ugly men are having sex.
LOL nope. An evening with a broken XBOX 360 is better evening than a woman using the lure of sex to have you come over and be her “security blanket” (nice one btw). I’d like to say I’m surprised to see this many people trying to defend their “usage” of other people… but I’m not.
I am reminded of the “wrong except when” rule. That’s basically a situation where something’s wrong except when they’re the ones doing it. C’est la vie. If you’re a dude, you should only fall for this 1 time (if that). After you know her M.O. it’s on you to decline her invitation.
The only guy who has never done a hit it and quit it… is one too repulsive to even warrant attention from the opposite sex. Dudes be justifyin’ jumpoffs in a myriad of ways, erryday, 24/7. I am sure if I had some way to comb through every moment of your life I’d be able to find a situation where you used someone for something similar.
Much anger and bitterness I sense in your comment. To the darkside, that path does lead. Careful you must be, or a house filled with angry stray cats, your future will become.
” I am reminded of the “wrong except when” rule. That’s basically a situation where something’s wrong except when they’re the ones doing it.”
LMAO!!! Yes!
“I want you to come over and cuddle. I have absolutely no sexual interest in you.” That’s just wrong on so many levels. She should just say, “i think you are harmless. Come cuddle me now.”
Eff cuddling…there is going to be some f*cking going on …unless she’s on the rag…
Ya Know What!!??
I feel you on that.. *lol* We can cuddle afterwards. Otherwise you just came by for a visit.
o__O
People (well men) for that matter are actually playing strictly cuddle bunnies (read; buddies) roles with chick nowawdays??? Where they At!!??! *smhl*
because me personally I only participate in a cuddle session which I like to do from time to time if I am somewhat interested in a future romp with them otherwise we just chillin on the couch watching a flick, no cuddling involved “Buddy” I got two adorable furbabies for that.
Cosign, guys I am not interested in… stay at arm’s length… they do not get in my personal circle.
“People (well men) for that matter are actually playing strictly cuddle bunnies (read; buddies) roles with chick nowawdays??? Where they At!!??! *smhl*”
I didn’t know this either. I understand why people cuddle but not with someone your not interested in to begin with.
“I didn’t know this either. I understand why people cuddle but not with someone your not interested in to begin with.”
That’s how I feel about it — unless she plans to upgrade his status in the future, otherwise he’s just visiting and we just chillin watching a movie together.
I have had a “cuddle bunny” (although I would never ever ever call a dude that..I’m just not down with the cutsy wustsy/fuzzie wuzzie nicknames) in fact I was recently situation in which I guy I was dating “cuddled”. To be honest the whole time I was thinking in my head..”Oh so you just want to cuddle..really though.. I could be doing this by myself and not have to watch UFC in the process…LOL.” It was if he put himself in that category and stayed there. I’m turned on by “take-charge” sorts of guys (not the call the police type of take charge) but guys that know what they want and will not be afraid to whisper in your ear “lets cuddle after”….With this dude he was so far from that we ended up watching a “jumping the broom” type movie that I don’t even remember, giving him a hug, and automatically putting him in the friend category.
2 things:
1. Cuddling is what you do after sex (until you get hot and feel smothered and need them to go to their side of the bed…or just go home). I can’t just cuddle with someone I don’t wanna sleep with.
2. Jumping the Broom was one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen. Paula Patton’s acting was so bad I had to research if it was a spoof film or was actually supposed to be that horrid.
Real Honest Question for my female counterparts:
Honestly Ya’ll… How would you feel if a man you was feeling invited you over STRICTLY on some cuddle bunny bizness, he never ever made an attempt to get the panty draws, only a kiss on the forehead, if so much as that How would you feel? o__o
Cuz I know me personally my feelings and my ego would be HURT afterwhile. LIke for real this ninja ain’t trying to hit this AT. ALL he just want to cuddle and ish… GTFOH – - no sir, not now not evah…
If this mythical negr0 were to appear, I’d assume he wasn’t interested and spend my time elsewhere as soon as possible.
Laughing @mythical Negr0
#church!
How would you feel if a man you was feeling invited you over STRICTLY on some cuddle bunny bizness, he never ever made an attempt to get the panty draws, only a kiss on the forehead, if so much as that How would you feel?
It depends. If we’ve already “done it before, I mean repeatedly” ( I watch too many movies LOL…shout out to Love Jones) I would love for him to just want to cuddle sometimes. This has happened and yes he pointed out the next morning that “see I can just hold you without ****”… but I think that was the last time we just cuddled without **** LOL & it was still sweet!
This depends 100% on the guy. If it’s Vin Diesel, I will take whatever I can get.
Yup, I’d gladly take a kiss on the forehead from Lenny Kravitz.
And never wash that forehead again.
Ain’t too proud to beg.
I would be so mad. I’d have to strip the bed, wash the sheets and change the fragrance in the room. And then go purify myself in the waters of Lake Minnetoka.
Kiss on forehead = no chex for you
My ego would be hurt only b/c he even THOUGHT he could call me up to cuddle and had no feelings for me. That is on some arrogance level type crap actually.
You know what, if it is a good friend… Naw, that’s just weird.
Back to what i was saying, I would probably delete him out of my phone. Like, who does these things. If we are cuddling, we are interested in taking things to the next level (not sex) but spending time together to see if we want a relationship.
Just read this again: So I don’t know that he doesn’t like, like me? Then I would feel played and would move on. I wouldn’t be back.
Free my comment… Pwetty please P?
lol i am guilty of having cuddle buddies. (names like bunny are reserved for boyfriends)
sometimes all you want is a manhug and nothing else. it helps if you’re not attracted to him because then there’s no risk of it going further. lol. he’s just someone to watch movies with and eat chinese or try out new vegetarian recipes on. lmbo.
oh, they also come in handy when furniture needs moving or to be assembled and male friends/brothers/cousins aren’t available.
Dudes on hurr are all gansta…talkinboutIdontcuddleIjustwannafug….whatev! I know plenty of bois that like to cuddle. There’s this one that reminds me of a giant panda that needs no cuddling partner, because his panda self is enough to do all the cuddling and then some.
Women sometimes use men for emotional needs, men sometimes use women for physical needs. The equation balances, and order is maintained in the universe. So let it be written, so let it be so.
I couldn’t have said it ANY better!
You could have tried though.
I have to agree. Sad but true.
The problem is that most people, male and female, acknowledge the possibilities of men using women for sex, but not women using men for their emotions.
Well that is because the consequences of getting used for sex are worse: unwanted babies, STDs, and stigma.
Consequences for getting used for ego-stroking? Hurt feelings.
Suck it up.
I don’t have a “Cuddle bunny” per se, however, considering I’m soooo flakey in the “I want a relationship” area, I tend to call guys because I want “boy attention”. This can be, a visit, a meal, a compliment, talking on the phone, texting, cuddling, movies, what have you. It’s not during a particular season, but I definitely use guys when I want that “boy attention”. It tends to work quite well for me too.
YES! And it’s your right to do so… Men created strip clubs to get women’s attention. Fair is fair.
” Men created strip clubs to get women’s attention.”
You lost me. I thought men created strip clubs to see naked women without any obligations to the women beyond his dollars.
Women who keep dudes around friendzoned do it for emotional needs.
Men use strippers and prostitutes for physical needs.
Neither has the moral highground on the other. Everyone uses someone for some selfish reason at one point in their life.
LOL, you – are – reaching.
Yes you are reaching with those examples.
Some things are out of my zone of maturity. Referring to someone as a cuddle bunny/buddy and using them for the purposes of pseudo-intimacy is out of the question for me. I have no desire to be hugged up with a person who I am not interested in chexing or have not chexed already.
Intimacy is a huge deal for me. It fuels my passion. And that is reserved for someone who I have an emotional and chexual interest in.
@PanamaJackson Well the first problem here is you’re letting a woman refer to you as a bunny. That’s sad. Fix that.
Anyway, last I checked in the good girl streets it’s buddy- cuddle buddy- no Musiq…which brings me to my point….if we’re disturbed by the idea of simply being a bed warmer then it’s probably a good idea to check your ‘boo status’ at the door. Unless of course she’s just tired every single time and you think the next time is your lucky time welll…anyway…
If you’re only a bed warmer aka “cuddle budd/nn/y” then you’re the good girl’s version of a jump off, yes you’re her cuddle jump off. You know the rules. Live with it- or not. Now if you’re the ‘boo’, your way to some type of mutually benefiting romantic relationship then bite the bullet and enjoy the intimacy in just being there with her. Go through the ‘can he be a gentleman and just appreciate a cuddle without trying to get in my pants’ phase. Happens to the best of ‘em. I mean we have needs too but for some of us it’s important to know and feel like ‘that’ ain’t all that’s being served. Hey, perhaps sooner rather than later you’ll get to jump her bones. In the most respectful of way, of course. Wait, is that possible? Anyway, know your status and all this bunny-buddy huffing and puffing will be obsolete. Capiche? *fist bump. pow*
No.
Right? lol
Ebs- totally unclear.
Oh it’s clear. Either you’re a cuddle buddy/ bunny or you’re not. Panama (and others) seem disgruntled by being designated a ‘bed warmer’, cuddle extraordinaire. If you know what the situation is before you get there, I don’t know why there’s a reason to complain. You must enjoy it to some degree. Or maybe you’re hoping one day things will change??? Right. It’s the same argument women put up when men they say ‘he only wants me for sax’..welll why do you continue to give it to him?
If you want to do more than cuddle you should find someone who also wants to do more than cuddle too.
Shame on any dude who allows himself to become a cuddle buddy…..
grow a pair! Let your inner douche bag out…..best believe that while you’re out there simpin and cupcakin, and your balls are sufficiently swollen and blue from not getting the voodoo, another dude is shattering her spine with half the effort.
Women love sex too! and it’s a helluva lot easier for them to get. You won’t find too many reasonably attractive females out here that elects not to be getting some ding dong from somewhere. That’s the dude you want to be!
that is all………………
I’m responding to the aside, b/c tonight I have a low-attention span. Jumping the Broom was okay. IT wasn’t terribly horrible, I actually sat through the whole thing. The wedding movie about the Hispanic woman and Lance Gross– that looked pretty unbearable, did anyone see that?
Shenanigans!