Dating, Relationships, & Sex, Theory & Essay

That Awkward Moment When The Relationship Ends

Awwwwwkard.

Relationships are full of  moments. There’s the first time you hold hands. The first kiss. (Hopefully) The first smang. The moment where you realize her cooking tastes like an a** sandwich. Or the first time you realize his toenails look like they fought in ‘Nam.

But moment’s don’t just exist inside of an official relationship. What about that moment when you’re talking to somebody and you realize “holy sh*tcakes Batman, I’m smitten with this motherf*cker” and then you momentarily nut up like LeBron James in the fourth quarter. Or the moment when you realize that you have got to have this person for breakfast. Not on some toot it and boot it steez, but on some, “I wonder if she’ll make me brefest…” steez. Or the moment where you realize that you are exactly where you want to be. But not like Donell Jones.

Every aspect of a relationship is defined or spearheaded by some moment of realization. And the end is no different. And the most akward moment for a man is the moment he realizes that he no longer wants to sleep with a woman.

Ever again.

Because that is the end of it even if exists for two months or ten years more. Conventional wisdom states that all men are wanton lustbags ready to rock and fire even if we have no emotional investment in a woman. And you know, that’s true…as long as we never had an emotional investment. If we ever get emotionally caught in a woman, the moment where we realize that we no longer want to do the beatitupright dance is a very confusing and confounding one. It’s enough to drive you to drink. Considering that the way most men tend to “show” their love is through their never-ending desire for their woman (five love languages notwithstanding), it’s no wonder that women lose their sh*t when their man can go weeks without even wanting to touch her. Yeah, we’re going to tell you that we’re fine and just stressed, but the truth is, we realized we don’t care if we see you naked again. Not only do we not care, we actually don’t desire to see it anymore.

And trust me, it f*cks with us just as much as it f*cks with any woman. At that awkward moment that we realize this, we know we’re stuck in a situation that we can’t just walk away from. Breakups either happen quickly via some sort of life altering event (pretty sure between punches, Rihanna said “I quit you”) which is the ideal or they happen slowly with both sides pretending that they’re still there mentally, which is clearly the calendar from hell. And I’ll go so far as to say that most women still are there, as women tend to stick around longer (mentally and emotionally) than we will for various reasons stemming from not wanting to start over to honestly having no clue what happened and refusing to believe that it can’t be worked out. Though I really think that the reason most woman refuse to acknowledge the end is because they don’t want to be wrong about their choice of man.

The relationship-slow-death is the most frustrating downfall ever. You’ve got two sides growing further and further apart while pretending to be as close as ever. But it had to start somewhere, and that’s the moment where the dude realized he didn’t want to let you play with his wang anymore. It’s a vulnerable time. It really is.

And you know it happens before actual relationships start (as referenced above). Dude can be out on a date with a woman that he was vibing with and found stimulating, interesting, attractive, and sexxy and in one fell swoop something can be said or done to murder that whole entire vibe. At which point, the dude might be like, “f*ck, I don’t even want to beat…what’s the quickest way I can get out of this Red Lobster, stick her with the bill, and go find that Kim chick from Cube’s “Today Was A Good Day” song.” I’ve seent it happen with my own two eyes. Trust me. While its purported that women know if they would sleep with a man within the first five seconds of meeting him, the decision about whether or not they will or not usually takes some convincing. Of course, us menfolks on the other hand, if we’re going out on a date with you there’s about a 123 percent chance that we will.

Which is why that moment is so awkward for a man…once you remove the sex from an equation where it’s 3 out of 5 variables, the relationship is dead.

So ladies, start asking the right question when things go south. Instead of asking (as you all do) “do you still love me?” ask the more pertinent question…”do you still want to sleep with me?”

His reaction, not his answer, will likely tell you everything you need to know about the future of your relationship. If that’s gone ladies, so are you.

Fellas, do I speak truth? What’s the moment when you know the relationship is ending?

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka BIGHAND PIMPHAND JOE aka YOUNG P DA FLY THIEF aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

Note: A ways back, Liz mentioned that yours truly makes some music for the people and what not. Well tonight, I released one of my projects on Twitter by my “group” Everybody Wants Free so I’m going to do the same here. It’s an album called The Social Loner. The entire project is conceived, composed, programmed, played, produced, mixed, sequenced, loved, and hated by Panama Jackson and his various alteregos. It was conceived of as a sort of motion picture score to a time in my life. Anyway, feel free to download it for free. It’s an instrumental album…a side project of experimental music. Anyway, enjoy. All feedback is good feedback so hate it or love it, feel free to tell me. I appreciate the support either way.

Everybody Wants Free (produced by Panama Jackson) – The Social Loner: Original Motion Picture Score (mediafire DL link)

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Damon Young

Panama Jackson is pretty fly for a light guy. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. He believes the children are our future and is waiting to find out if he is the 2nd most interesting man in the world.

  • Corey

    When you would rather be ANYWHERE but where she is most of the time.

    • Corey

      And to further that, for me personally, I know when it starts feeling like I have a part/full time JOB it’s definitely time to roll on out. Problem is even if you want nothing more than to get the hell away from them there usually is still a part of you that has some kind of emotional attachment to them and you would prefer not to go about it like a bull in a china shop. Over the years I’ve learned that as I guy you try not to be the azzhole in the situation but it’s an exercise in futility. No matter how it goes down if you have a dikk, you’re going to end up being the dikk. Save your sanity, your time, and your efforts and just bounce.

      • http://thejahfiles.blogspot.com/ B. Brown

        Man, you ain’t lying. Unless she cheats, it’s the man’s fault…and even then, there’s still no guarantee he’ll be free of blame.

      • rnic

        But what is that, though, with guys and the whole “guilt” thing when a relationship ends? I mean I know its common for us (women) to put in OT to make the guy bear the burden of the guilt in a break-up, but what about when its not like that and a break up really IS mutual? Why does it seem like guys just automatically assume the guilt even in cases where the woman doesn’t put it on you anymore than herself?

        • Corey

          Burden of being a man I guess. You know when somebody looks at it from the outside looking in, mutual or not, all eyes are going to fix directly on you so you bite the bullet and take it.

          • RG

            This

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          yeah….what Corey said.there has to be somebody at fault right? maybe i’m projecting here, but it rarely seems like two people just have the same realization and actualization on the same day and agree to go their separate ways and shake hands.

          and somehow it’s always the guys fault.

          i have an ex who recently told me that she keeps having to remind herself that she broke up with me b/c from her perspective i kicked her to the curb b/c of how she felt. lol.

          • MizzCam

            i have an ex who recently told me that she keeps having to remind herself that she broke up with me b/c from her perspective i kicked her to the curb b/c of how she felt. lol

            THIS! Even though I was the one to actually officially end it, I didn’t even want to. But clearly he was just letting it drag on so he didn’t have to be the bad guy. So yeah, I can say I broke up with him but he had checked out of the relationship some months prior. a$$.hole =/

          • Ms Peach

            ‘Yes most times even tho us women say its over the man been said it was over with his actions. This is why I have never been broken up with. A man will do him but he wont break up with you he’ll wait until you say it to be free of the guilt. Knowing darn well he wanted out he just didnt want to be the one to say it.

      • nillalatte

        Have to agree 100% with you here Corey. A relationship should be easy, exciting and fun. When those things disappear it’s time to call it. Timing is the hard part for both sides, because just like getting into the relationship (who got hooked first) getting out is just as difficult because once the hook has been set it’s hard to release.

        • http://lizburr.com Liz

          since when were relationships “easy exciting and fun”? lol. sounds like yall really are not aware that relationships take work. the best and long standing ones take THE MOST work. and yes you disagree sometimes. yes you sometimes dread the person you’re with because the positives outweigh the negatives.

          i feel like some of yall want sun shiny days 366 days a year in a relationship and that’s not gonna happen.

          • Yoles

            +1

            • Aisha

              Agree

          • nillalatte

            1st of all.. welcome back Liz. :)

            2nd… easy, exciting, and fun is my mantra now. All I’m saying is a relationship either works or it doesn’t— for both people. When you’re on the same wave length, it’s easy. When you communicate, it’s easy. When you enjoy each other, it’s easy. It only becomes difficult when people are not on the same page.

            • http://lizburr.com Liz

              1) thanks :)

              2) yeah but that doesnt just naturally happen, not even with people of the best intentions. you don’t get to same page communication without bumping heads here and there. i’m not even sure i’d want a super easy relationship, but i do know the ones that look easy went through some rough patches over time to get where they were.

              • nillalatte

                I understand what you’re saying and bumping heads here and there is demonstrating growth in the relationship, but it’s done in a loving, caring, respectful way because you don’t want to intentionally harm that person when you’re still wanting to be with that person and them with you. I’ve had that kind of relationship and it was one of the most fulfilling, easy relationships ever. We did bump heads, we did argue, we did disagree, but at the end of the day we deeply cared enough not to want to hurt the other person.

                When there is a total break down of a relationship and you’re trying to keep it together for whatever reason (most of them involve marriage, kids, financial reasons) then you’re not there for mutual love, support and understanding. THOSE get extremely nasty.

                These are two very different relationship dynamics.

                • TrackStar

                  I agree. I think people are confusing easy and exciting with effortless. Nobody is saying relationships should be effortless, of course they take a considerable amount of work and energy. However, a relationship should be something that actually enhances your life and something you derive joy from. Unlike your family, you actually get to choose your significant other. All this talk of hard labor sounds like a bunch masochists. Love is not a battlefield.

                  • http://lizburr.com Liz

                    ehh they did say easy above, which also means effortless. mincing words though.

                    i think all relationships take work, people have to eat a lot of humble pie in order to make it work, and that’s never easy or effortless for anyone to do because it’s just not natural. most people are selfish and wanna do their own thing, no matter how lovey dovey they seem.

                    • k-steez

                      ” i think all relationships take work, people have to eat a lot of humble pie in order to make it work, and that’s never easy or effortless for anyone to do because it’s just not natural. most people are selfish and wanna do their own thing, no matter how lovey dovey they seem.”

                      i guess this is too long for a t-shirt. perhaps an r&b song?

                  • Sula

                    Agree with you Trackstar…. Easy in this case does not mean effortless… It means it should not be a burden. If the relationship is a burden, it’s not a good relationship… it’s that simple.

                    Efforts are not necessarily comfortable all the time but the end result and the flow of the relationship is easy and worth it. When it feels like pulling teeth, it is like pulling teeth.

              • http://tdlove.wordpress.com Tonya

                I agree with Liz here. I think trying to find someone that is going to be fun and easy to deal with all the time is unrealistic.

                What you really want is someone who is fun and easy going enough, that they make being able to deal with rough road of life palatable. That comes through have good communication and enjoying each other, but also comes from having a true connection that will last through the rough times.

                • Ms.F

                  Exactly, they say the grass is always greener on the other side, but I say the grass is greener when watered.

                  Relationship takes a whole lotta effort and I guess people need to realize that if the both of you wanted your relationship to work, hell yeah, it will.

                  • http://www.blacktrimony.com Blacktrimony

                    I tend to think the grass is the same color on both sides. Just different landscaping needed.

                • http://lizburr.com Liz

                  exactly!

                  it’s all about finding someone who is lesser than the other evils out there lol.

                  • http://www.theleftsidepoets.wordpress.com MicTheMessenger

                    Welcome back Liz!!!!

                    Blueberries: Every avi pic you have, i think you’re a different complexion.

                    • http://lizburr.com Liz

                      Hahaha! Thanks. I am not really back but decided to come by for this post.

                      And yes, I am a very middle of the road brown color. Nobody rides on me for being light or darkskinnt, per Ps post yesterday, so I must be in the middle.

                • http://www.theleftsidepoets.wordpress.com MicTheMessenger

                  Gone head and preach, Tanya.

                  I think we’d actually be surprised how far communication goes in a relationship. The very nature of it can determine if you and your SO can playfully and passionately debate a subject and understand but disagree on it, or if every conversation is WW3.

                  As a man, when i approach a relationship with no expectations, no judgement, and open mind, willing (but not eager) heart, and fun loving nature, my interactions with not just my SO, but ppl in general tend to blossom. When we’re together we have a BLAST. When issues arise, our foundation is what supports us as we sort them out. It’s how me and my now fiance have been together 2.5 years, most of it being long distance.

                  That and when we are together, we usually break every bed in a 2 mile radius.

          • JodzSE

            I was thinking the same thing! They must be kids or something, because relationships are just as much work as parenthood (sometimes more), and work is laborious, tedious, and mundane. At the end of the day, though, you get to reap the fruits of your labour. :D

            I would like sunshiney days all year round, year in, year, out. I’d also like an endless supply of money, my own home and car, world peace, lipo, whiter teeth, and a good steak. But ain’t nunna that gonna happen realistically, except maybe for the steak.

          • http://www.for-the-masses.com Ms Scripter

            You summed it up Liz.

          • http://www.twitter.com/creolesoul Wit, Tits or STFU

            I can dig it, Liz. “It wasn’t no peaches and dandy trip! It’s f@#$in’ hard work n’ sh!t!” Excellent point.

          • http://www.shay-d-lady.com shay-d-lady

            @LIZ
            yeahhhhhh! you’re back!
            I totally agree with your statement. to think that relationships are easy and effortless fun is a child’s fantasy. its hard work. there are days when you dont like your momma so trust there will be days when you dont like your partner. There are days when you want to be selfish, dont want to think about what someone else eats or doesnt, dont want to listen to the same music, etc and those are just random annoyances. Growing together and finding yourself as most of us are doing between 25-35 is hard enough its definitely hard to do with someone else. and thats not mentioning the work it takes to keep your relationship from becoming “routine”.
            and yes the relationship should make you feel its worthwhile, there should be comfort, and moments that make all the work seem worth while.
            but good relationships just dont happen. it takes work and commitment and dedication and all that shyt you put on your resume.

          • Orange Star Happy Hunting

            Thank you, anything worth having takes effort, relationships are work.

          • http://twitter.com/eazylittle Eazy

            Well said. Those of us who are married should definitely be able to agree. Fun, sunshine, sure….but when you are with a person for years you have to work to make sure the relationship remains fresh. Unless the two of you are exactly alike (nope), you WILL bump heads, have arguments, etc. If you can communicate with each other you should feel even closer together after each rough patch though.

            • Lina

              I’d even say you’ll bump heads if you’re exactly alike. I can admit that certain aspects of my personality manifested in others gets on my nerves.

              • http://lizburr.com Liz

                Yup, that def happens too!

          • keisha brown

            AMEN.

          • k-steez

            +2

          • sunsh1ne_md

            THIS! u are speaking real knowledge! relationships are extremely hard work. and as a man or woman if u leave a relationship when your partner gets annoying/boring/etc good luck with any relationship post-90 days. Because after 90 Days every1 and everything becomes mediocre.

          • http://musicmakesmehigh.wordpress.com Reecie

            great comment, and I love your pic!

            • http://lizburr.com Liz

              aw thanks :)

          • http://www.wix.com/katwebb84/katwebb84 KitKatCuty84

            Yeah, I totally agree. This is what I feel like guys mean when they say they aren’t looking for drama. To my ears, it sounds like they’re not much of a catch, ’cause they’re waiting for a happy and healthy relationship to fall into their laps without effort. I steer clear of dudes that use that “drama” code word. But hey, I’m single, so maybe I’m drama-full, LOL. :)

            • LSQ

              what they mean (by ‘they’ I mean ‘me’). is that they (I) want a form of communication between each party that minimizes the use of anger (on her part) to give feedback to her man. Sometimes a simple request with a smile is more effective than the eye-rolling.

              it’s mostly our (my) fault for even knowing about how to calm, and soothe an ABW, but doing that only exacerbates the problem.

              • http://www.wix.com/katwebb84/katwebb84 KitKatCuty84

                Hmmm. I don’t know. Some don’t want there to be conflict at all, it seems. I’ve been told I was being an ABW when I was just talking. My voice wasn’t raised, my heart rate wasn’t elevated. I just didn’t agree and it was seen as an attack. I think men can be hypervigilant against ABW, just as much as women can be hypervigilant against certain things. But I do feel your comment below. :)

          • LSQ

            I think once folks look in the mirror and realize that they themselves are not “easy exciting and fun” all the time, they will realize relationships certainly aren’t.

            I think – and this sounds unromantic – that relationships should be mutually beneficial. And I don’t mean conditional relationships, but what I mean is that both parties agree to try to make each other happy (vs I want someone cute / I want someone with money).

            Now getting that other person motivated enough to make you happy is the key.

          • Mello

            Preach!

        • http://www.wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

          This here is why there is so much divorce. People thinking its supposed to be like a beach vaca all the time. This was my ex’s mistaken belief and why he put up the deuces. Because it wasn’t fun anymore, didn’t feel like doin it.

          It’s supposed to feel like a job sometimes. Hell, if you are trying to grow old together, and you subtract the first three years, its gonna feel like a job more often than not. My parents been married 45 years and I know they had stretches where there was no desire for chex. They couldn’t stand each other for the entire time I was in college.

          I don’t know what Disney fantasy people are living in, but if you stay with anybody long enough, you will stop wanting to smash. It’s gonna happen. You gotta try to bring the sexy back. Like jump starting a car. Maybe some couples are in love and chexing it up for 50 yrs non stop (doubt it) , but odds are that’s not gonna be you, so people need to quit quitting perfectly good partners to go look for that mythical lifelong excitement. I don’t think its even biologically possible to be in love for a long time. Your brain can’t make that much oxytosin, and you develop a tolerance.

          My rant is done now. Touchy subject.

          • http://www.twitter.com/IntnseRndmnss Alana

            THIS! AND, THIS!

          • Caballeroso

            Cosign.

          • Mo-VSS

            Love it. This is very true

          • http://www.wix.com/katwebb84/katwebb84 KitKatCuty84

            I feel you on this. You stop wanting to have sex and that’s it? No discussion? No attempt? Just, “Baby, I’m not up for it tonight. I’m moving out.”

          • http://twitter.com/#!/NewYork2VA NY2VA

            The doors of the church are now open. Girl, you just PREACHED!

        • http://www.twitter.com/IntnseRndmnss Alana

          So when folks get married, and the relationship starts taking more work than before, you do bounce?!?! Carefullllll.

      • RG

        i actually prefer to be the a$$hole if I cared about her because it seems easier on her if she thinks that I was the problem. My perspective is that I can shoulder the burden of the breakup a little better, so I let her project the negative feelings on to me.

      • http://www.blacktrimony.com Blacktrimony

        Truth

    • dc1913

      Agreed… when you hear the front door open and your heart sinks… When you start asking “your boys not doin anything tonight….?” When you start working late to spend time away… When you take the long way home even though gas is $5.99 a gallon…When you dont want to go out with other couples because their happiness makes you resent him… yea… it’s time to go lol.

      • Corey

        When you go over there and sit in the driveway for 15 minutes wondering do you really even want to walk in there and listen to some bullish OR suffer through uncomfortable silence that is the prequel to some bullish….

        • http://tdlove.wordpress.com Tonya

          That’s just SAD. Why the heck would let a relationship like that last til it gets to that point?

          I mean it’s not only sad for YOU, but you are making a fool out of the girl and wasting her time. She could be getting married to someone who actually wants to be with her.

          I say..just bite the bullet. Hurt her feelings, she will get over it and you. In the end, you both will be happy. But like you (or someone) said before, the earlier you do it, the easier it is.

          • DQ

            ****That’s just SAD. Why the heck would let a relationship like that last til it gets to that point?****

            I’ll speak for myself here (though I suspect this experience is not just unique to me), sometimes it’s not simply a matter of “letting” the relationship deteriorate. Sometimes the relationship deteriorating is really just reality setting in. The euphoria and the idealization that clouded our early judgment has cleared, and now we’re seeing everything, not just the stuff we like, but the stuff we hate.

            And if you’re invested in the relationship at all – it’s going to be a second before you accept that reality. You’re going to convince yourself it’s something you have to try to work through, or that it’s just a rough patch… until you run out of excuses and explanations to stay and admit that you’re not happy and you’re just not ever going to be happy.

            That’s when you realize that, despite the fact that she’s as cute as when you first met her, you aren’t attracted to her… and once you get here it’s over. Because at this point chicks who aren’t as cute as your girl, BECOME more attractive than her, because they don’t come with her baggage. (For women it’s a little bit different, once a woman realizes she doesn’t respect a man anymore… it’s over. He can be just as smart, witty, and strong as he was when she first met him, but once she realizes she no longer respects him… he’s done)

            • Yoles

              see DQ that’s why your my friday e-boo because you know what you are saying… exactly

              • Yoles

                *you’re

                • DQ

                  You had me at “see DQ”. See you Friday ;)

              • http://www.twitter.com/IntnseRndmnss Alana

                I think you’re going to have to share him after he shared this insight.

                • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5FR1LGsT7E TheAnti-Cool

                  DQ’s already mine on Wednesdays, or is it Tuesdays? Hm…Let’s just say today is my day. :D

                  • http://www.twitter.com/IntnseRndmnss Alana

                    Hmmm, does he have a weekend e-boo?!?! DQ???

                    • DQ

                      *Pencils in TAC for Tuesdays, if for nothing else the alliterative effect*

                      Alana I’m renting Weekend days. Call me. ;)

              • keisha brown

                LOL @ DQ having DAYS.
                I still want a blizzard everytime he posts.
                just me?
                oh.
                carry on…

                • DQ

                  *I still want a blizzard everytime he posts*

                  There is a joke in there somewhere, but it’s too easy. You wouldn’t respect me for it. So I’ll let this one slide…

                  …there might even be a SWIDT somewhere in this comment. Why? Cause I’m on one. #Lying #AintOnOne

                  • keisha brown

                    LOL.
                    i’ll come back with it on friday when foolery knows no bounds.
                    in the meantime..settles for slurpee…

                • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

                  “LOL @ DQ having DAYS.”

                  Ok?! I’mma need him to learn ya’ll brothas on how to ePimp. Lawdy.

              • k-steez

                co-sign- not tryna steal ur e-boo, just the pasrt about him knowing what he’s talking about. exactly.

            • http://www.twitter.com/drrdb TWIsM

              See, now I know on days when I can’t comment that DQ is gon’ hold it down. I have nothing more to add but an all-caps #COSIGN.

            • Todd

              Preach Brother DQ!

            • Corey

              Sometimes you get in situations where nobody wants to shoulder the responsibility of the label “The one who ended it”. My homie was jammed up like that and everytime he would say something about splitting chick would hit him with the “I can’t believe you’re giving up on us” guilt trip. When you find yourself in that situation you have to understand that regardless of how you feel about it, you gotta take that L. Two people sitting up becoming more bitter by the day and wasting LIFE is all bad. If you know the other party isn’t going anywhere YOU have to go ahead and pull the trigger and let the chips fall where they may.

              • DQ

                I see Corey, Todd, and TWIsM have all been there/understand what I’m talking about.

                I can also relate to “not wanting to be the bad guy”. Especially since from my view, there didn’t have to be a bad guy, we just weren’t a good match and that it was ok that go separate ways.

                But invariably if you know there’s no future, you do have to man up and “wear that black hat”. If you ever cared about her, you have to do it. She’ll be hurt, and you just have to accept that she’s gonna be hurt, and there’s nothing you can do to assuage it. And once you do it, you have to leave her alone to heal and move on. One of my home girls put me on to this.

                It went against everything in me to be that cut and dry, but my home girl was right. My ex was able to pick herself back up and move on much better with me completely out of the picture. Still didn’t feel good about it.

                • nillalatte

                  “And once you do it, you have to leave her alone to heal and move on.”

                  DQ — words of wisdom on both sides. This is how it has to be for most men and women. When I’ve cut a relationship off, I cut it off. There are no friends after ex’s. It’s hard, no doubt, but necessary.

            • http://www.wix.com/katwebb84/katwebb84 KitKatCuty84

              “That’s when you realize that, despite the fact that she’s as cute as when you first met her, you aren’t attracted to her… and once you get here it’s over. Because at this point chicks who aren’t as cute as your girl, BECOME more attractive than her, because they don’t come with her baggage.”

              This is so dang sad!!!!!!!!!! Nothing can stop this? It just happens one day? Yeah, that’s probably why I’m taking a break from dating. Too many negative feelings and “WTF is going on with dudes?” moments going through my head. And after all that effort, THIS could happen? Oh heck nah! LOL.

              • Sula

                But why do you even think about that when you go in dating? If it happens, it happens such is life… A job can end up in a being fired but you still go out there and look for one, don’t you? I mean we, humans, do die, but we still birthing babies every single day… Why is the thought that something might not work out in a relationship so frightening? What about the time you’ve spent with that person… getting to know that person, exchanging with them and growing as a result? That’s what life is about… the process, not the end result. We are so busy focusing on the finish line, we end up losing the race…

                I don’t go into a relationship thinking about how he might one day not find me as breathtaking as I know I am :lol:…. I am thinking here is a chance to enjoy another human being and travel a little bit of road with… if it turns out that the journey has been so fun that we want to keep going so be it… if not, we part ways, make the necessary arrangements and start anew looking for folks to travel with… Happily ever after happens when YOU (universal you) are happy ever after.

              • DQ

                ****This is so dang sad!!!!!!!!!! Nothing can stop this? It just happens one day? Yeah, that’s probably why I’m taking a break from dating. Too many negative feelings and “WTF is going on with dudes?” moments going through my head. And after all that effort, THIS could happen? Oh heck nah! LOL.****

                To be clear, what I was describing was the situation when you know it’s over. Once you’ve hit that point of no return, there is no return. But it doesn’t JUST happen. There’s a process to getting there. Strangely enough… it seems bad relationships (like good relationships) can be built over time.

          • Sula

            That’s just SAD. Why the heck would let a relationship like that last til it gets to that point?

            Because you have realized that you didn’t want anymore but haven’t found the right way to get out of it. And you’re hoping the other person will get out of it first before you do… and become the a$$hole…

            It’s complicated.

        • S Emm

          Honestly Corey, I totally agree with your point. But in an effort to not look like a d*ck, you end up looking like a bigger d*ck and overall deceiving. If you start to feel like you’d rather do Met’s taxes after Bernie Madoff than hang w/ your girl, just be honest and nip it in the bud. She’ll be pissed, but she’ll be less bitter in the long run which in turn will prevent crime. Trust me! Lol

          But you made a great point! Women need to start paying attention to these signs.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        i think if work EVER becomes more enjoyable than home…the love is gone.

        • http://www.comeupchicago.com Shogun

          What if you are a porn star?

    • DQ

      ****When you would rather be ANYWHERE but where she is most of the time.****

      The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. How many times have I said (on this site alone) that once a man matures, he just wants his peace of mind and the woman that does the least amount, to rob him of it.

      ****And to further that, for me personally, I know when it starts feeling like I have a part/full time JOB it’s definitely time to roll on out.****

      Absolutely cosign. When it’s a job, it’s something you HAVE to do rather than something you CHOOSE to do even though it’s difficult (and yes there is a difference). People who hate their jobs eventually quit… draw whatever conclusions/parallels you feel are appropriate.

      • Corey

        I’ve been right there bruh. I used to just show up and go through the motions. I didn’t talk, I didn’t crack any jokes (and that’s unheard of for me), it was like I was physically there but otherwise completely detatched. I was always one anything from snapping out on somebody. It got to the point where I didn’t recognize myself anymore. Nobody should ever be able to change your personality into something or someone you don’t recognize.

      • nocommonsense

        “The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. How many times have I said (on this site alone) that once a man matures, he just wants his peace of mind and the woman that does the least amount, to rob him of it.”

        Ladies pay attention to this statement it could save you from nagging your man right out the back door leaving nothing but a sticky note that says ” I just can’t ”

        When a dude chooses to take the lease stressful way out of a relationship (which basically means leaving before she comes home) that is usually a sign that she is a complete loon who will test him in every way to have her way even if it means jail time for both of ya’ll.

        At the end of a day of battling the world, the last thing we want is to come home and have to go to war again. As a real man, I expect my woman to give me salvation, comfort and peace especially if I create that enviroment to thrive. Just as any woman expects to be protected, provided for and loved unconditionally. I believe that love is hard work that you should enjoy doing. So is it really that hard if you look forward seeing your SO every day?

        Only if we lived in a perfect world???

        • DQ

          ****Ladies pay attention to this statement it could save you from nagging your man right out the back door leaving nothing but a sticky note that says ” I just can’t ” ****

          This literally made me laugh out loud.

        • Tx10inch

          I believe that love is hard work that you should enjoy doing.

          This is a great statement.

      • Sula

        When it’s a job, it’s something you HAVE to do rather than something you CHOOSE to do even though it’s difficult (and yes there is a difference).

        I think a lot of people confuse those two concepts… when they are two wildly different ones.

  • http://panamaenrique.wordpress.com Malik

    Mixtape is quality. Now to read the post.

    • Yoles

      yes Panama i am so enjoying the music especially as i am reading these posts… its like a soundtrack to all this deep stuff… 2 thumbs up… i likely :D

      • DQ

        So I’m not the only one listening to it as I post? Damn that’s crazy cause I was thinking the same thing about the soundtrack

        • Sula

          And I thought I was an original! Lol!

          • DQ

            Nope, everybody’s doing it apparently.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      thanks homes.

  • http://twitter.com/mademoiseleogus MademoiseleOgus

    Newbie to the site! just showin love, absolutely a fan!

    • keisha brown

      Welcome!
      *waits for Yoles…

    • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

      Welcome to the VSB family, missy!

      PINCHES TO THE LEFT OF THEM! PINCHES TO THE RIGHT OF THEM! PINCHES IN FRONT OF THEM! VOLLEY AND THUNDER!

      • StillSuga

        iDied…..

    • Yoles

      ???????????? WELCOME MADEMOISELEOGUS ?????????????

      please stay and continue to ?

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      thanks and ya come back y’hear.

  • CaribbeanQueen

    wow. I’d never heard of this before until now.
    what makes a man stop wanting to sleep with a woman? is she sexually boring? just not attracted to her anymore? i’m confused.

    “Though I really think that the reason most woman refuse to acknowledge the end is because they don’t want to be wrong about their choice of man.”

    this is true.

    • StillSuga

      “Though I really think that the reason most woman refuse to acknowledge the end is because they don’t want to be wrong about their choice of man.”

      this is true.

      +1! I just had a conversation and said some version of this statement to a friend who is ending a relationship. Choosing well is so important *shakes head at past bad choices*

      • CaribbeanQueen

        right? makes u re-evaluate yourself.. like what the hell was I thinking at the time I decided to be in a relationship with this dude.. Do I know myself as well as I think i do?

        • StillSuga

          Do I know myself as well as I think i do? <——THIS

          GOSPEL TRUTH…

        • http://twitter.com/#!/Mailuv7 Mailuv7

          Truth.net! It is really difficult to look back on a failed relationship and see where you fcuked up.
          “Though I really think that the reason most woman refuse to acknowledge the end is because they don’t want to be wrong about their choice of man.” <–Especially if you saw warning signs and your momma, church deacon, supervisor and Mai Ling the nail tech told you he was no good.

    • http://thejahfiles.blogspot.com/ B. Brown

      “what makes a man stop wanting to sleep with a woman? is she sexually boring? just not attracted to her anymore? i’m confused.”

      Yes and yes. There is a point (whether we arrive there through physical boredom, emotional exhaustion, or a combination thereof) when even that doesn’t matter.

      • CaribbeanQueen

        sigh.
        this makes me sad.

        • http://lizburr.com Liz

          Makes me kinda sad but on the other hand I just think the relationship wasn’t meant to be if he just gets bored physically or is emotionally tired. they need to man up.

          • k-steez

            hmmm…but what if they’re emotionally tired because you’re a shrew, or nothing satisfies you, or you want something new from them everyday? or i’m emotionally tired b/c he doesn’t deal with challenges well and i’m always putting out fires in his crazy little mind? sometimes it’s not about maning or womaning up. (should those fake words have 2 n’s? me no no.) sometimes a person is emotionally exhausted because their mate is emotionally exhausting!

        • http://www.anythingbutstyle.com Shaynanigans

          Agreed. I couldn’t even think of any witter banter to respond to this one.

          It’s hard out here, and not just for pimps *mental picture of Terrance Howard with the Al Sharpton press*

      • Simba.Africanna

        I went thru boredom (the proverbial “just going thru the motions”) but I actually made it thru. I had to get creative (took her shopping to Lover’s Lane, tried some strawberry/other-foods experimentation, self-imposed hiatus etc.) & she went along.

        I’d say boredom in itself does not spell “the end” bcoz you can get thru it if you try. Or rather if you want to try. And that’s a whole ‘nother thing.

        • CaribbeanQueen

          Its funny i was just about to ask if its really the end-be-all or if there’s some kind of way to work through it

        • Yoles

          but what makes a man decide if he wants to put the blood, sweat and tears into trying or when he just says fvck it and decides to bounce… from what i am reading the men still love the ladies so what is it says i’m staying her and making this work!!

          • Simba.Africanna

            >so what is it says i’m staying her and making this work!!
            That’s a great question.
            Perhaps when she’s making an effort to work this out (whatever the hiccup is) or compromising…(and not insisting on winning all the time). Being creative (in or outside the bedroom) kinda has the “but wait, there’s more!” thing.
            If I can see myself enjoying time with her when the current disagreement is over, then I for one will make an effort.
            Then yeah, I’ll put in more effort to make it work. I’m not gonna let her put in all the work, while I walk away. I’d like to be able to say I tried to salvage the situation.

            Its when the nagging is nonstop & I have to leave home to get some peace. (A Raisin in the son: “when a man has to leave home to get some peace then something’s wrong”)

            • Righteous

              Exactly. I think a woman should realize that she too has flaws and those flaws need to be corrected in order to make our relationship work. As was said upthread, peace of mind is everything. Whenever me and the lady have an arguement, I go back the beginning of he argument with her and see where it got out of hand. 7/10 times she took something I said and twisted it in her head to make me seem as if I was saying something to slight her.

              However frustrating it may be to do, figure out where things go wrong, and be truthful about your part in it. It makes becoming a better person in a better relationship easer.

              Now my woman is mature enough to run through the events truthfully after some time, this does not work right after the episode.

            • Todd

              If you could tell this to my wife, I’d appreciate it. Thanks. :)

          • Imperfect

            That’s my question. And is this “fixable”??

        • JodzSE

          I was thinking something along these lines too, because we all get bored, irritated, or whatever, with the one we love. So why do we work through the rough spots? I think we decide that the person is worth the effort of working through things. Life is hard, and love is part of life, and therefore hard. We decide that our SO has enough good qualities that we want to do whatever we have to to get to the other side- together. Sometimes it just takes some time and getting used to new/different stuff. My ex once told me that when I put on a lot of weight he thought I was gross, but after a while he got used to it, and I went back to being sexy again.

          • Kimmy

            I heard once that what makes a relationship/marriage work is not so much love, but committment and I completely agree. The “feeling” of love will not always be there but if you are committed then you try to work through whatever it is. I also heard Will and Jada once say that for them divorce is not an option, and once that is off the table you have no choice but to try to work through it. Which goes back to committment. And importantly…both parties have to be committed.

            • JodzSE

              Exactly! It takes a mutual committment to stay together through good times and bad. Without that, you might be out with the dish water.

              On a personal note… Both my cousin and I told our husbands that divorce would not be an option. Today we are both divorced. Never say never (but there is a comfort in knowing that your partner will always be there). My cousin’s husband understood no divorce to mean “I can do whatever the f*ck I want to AND get away with it”. It worked till he had a baby with someone else. Mine… Well mine thought I’d always be around until I had a baby with someone else. Yeah, never rule out anything!

              • immakinuwait

                —–> This right here <——– Preach JodzSE! I told my estranged husband this mess in the beginning of our marriage also. Big mistake! He took it as licence to mess around for all six years of our marriage. I discovered several of these indiscretions, during the course of the union. Threatened to leave. Never did. He would cry and beseech and promise me the moon. (not the stars…probably couldn't give me that either) Finally when I found out about yet another chick at 5 months pregnant, I threw up the deuces, put up the condo for sale, called my family to help ne load the moving truck and wished him well. Thing is, he desired me up until the bitter end. Still does. I probably would have given up sooner if he had stopped wanting me. Side note—— would love to see a post about why women stay with bad boy cheaters. Hell if I can figure that mess out. Carry on.

    • http://www.testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

      My guys tell me it’s when she either stops interesting him or when she stops being interesting without him; that’s when they kind of slack off the sex with her and it’s just a downward spiral from there.

      An addendum to that would be if she’s a crazy-monkey-cooched type girl from whom men will put up with damn near anything.

      • CaribbeanQueen

        lmao @ monkey-cooch.

        I wonder what types of things a monkey cooch can do

        • WayUPThere

          There was a post about this that had something to do with crazy women always winning at keeping dudes…smh

          • Yoles

            something about:
            crazy women=sexually uninhibited

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      everybody else is doing a better job of articulating why than i could. for me what’s happened is that i’ll just realize that my goals with this person have changed from making love to just making it.

      and again, it’s not just solely within the confines of a relationship. that sh*t can happen pre-relationship. that happened to me once. like…this chick perplexed me in so many f*cktard ways that my interactions with her had nothign to do with ever seeing her naked and everything to do with just understanding why she was such an asshole to me when i’d done nothing. and i know ninjas say theyve done nothing, but in this case i really mean it. i once saw her in fairly skimpy attire and wasn’t fazed at all. nothing. no wang dance. for me…that’s why its awkward, i aint expecting it but when it happens, im confused for a second.

    • LSQ

      “what makes a man stop wanting to sleep with a woman? is she sexually boring? just not attracted to her anymore? i’m confused.”

      for some men, they really don’t want to give her satisfaction.
      they don’t want to reward the bad behavior.

      besides -> half the fun of chex is watching ya’ll cum anyway, its an ego builder (faked or not), and if the man starts to feel like the woman doesn’t deserve the joy of orgasm, he’ll start to just ‘get his’. At that point the challenge of chex (and the joy imho) starts to leave, and it becomes boring.

      so it ain’t about the quality of chex – it’s about the goal of chex. clear as mud?

  • http://TalentedGeneration.blogspot.com LegallySouthern1

    That moment for a woman when we stop seeing that “glimmer” in his eyes when we catch him looking at us. We wonder whether its just a “phase,” a sideline heauxx or if its a sign we should begin the process of emotionally detaching ourselves from his mind, body & stroke.

    Fellas, if she asks to smell your d*ck, the relationship is over. Word to Riskay.

    Caught the mixtape when PJ released it on Twitter. I digs it but I kinda wish there was some obnoxious DJ, like Khaled, hosting it. Don’t judge me, I’m southern.

    • Corey

      I have actually had that happen before! The first time I was kind of in shock but after that I just started slapping them with it….

      • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5FR1LGsT7E TheAnti-Cool

        Better watch that. I hear that chicks are cutting them off and tossing them in garbage disposals now.

        #Chopped&Screwed

        • http://TalentedGeneration.blogspot.com LegallySouthern1

          Oh word. You say there are remixes to the way Lorena Bobbit did it back in the day? Since when is peen the enemy? Don’t people know when you throw it up in the air it turns to *sunshine*?!

        • Corey

          I think that might just be a TAC thing there…although she probably EXTRA friendly in person!

          • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5FR1LGsT7E TheAnti-Cool

            No joke and not a TAC thing this time. My link is being moderated cause of the word p e n i s. It’s from ctv.ca/CTVNews.

            I AM extra friendly btw. Which is why I would never do such a thing. Could you imagine how hard it is to get shredded peen out of a garbage disposal? There are much less messy ways should that ever become necessary. :)

            • Yoles

              yea i read the article.. they were going through a divorce he was unfaithful, she chopped it off, threw it in the garbage disposal and turned it on, then called the police on herself and said to dispatch he deserved it… someone else said they read an article where it says she stated he gave her a STI/STD/VD or whatever it’s called now… she.wasn’t.playing. i wonder if women like this have it easy in prison???

              • Justmetheguy

                @Yoles- Eff that! She wouldn’t have it easy in prison cause I’d go find her *ss!!! R u serious?! That heinous wench should be waterboarded and ice-picked to a slow death! I mean, if I made you that mad just torture me and kill me! Don’t cut my wang off, shred it to pieces then leave me to live! F*ck that! lol

                • Yoles

                  DA*N Just… you went in!!!! it does seem kind of extreme but then again if he gave her the monster.. hmmm

                  i see you with your pic ;)
                  ???????????? WELCOME ?????????????

                  • Justmetheguy

                    @Yoles- Yeah, the monster is….a monster. So I get where she was comin from, but that was beyond excessive. Just kill him and plead insanity. All that mutilation and sh*t is unneccesary. And yeah, I finally got my avi on. I feel like I’m actually part of the community now :P

                    • Yoles

                      @Just

                      she was excessive but we don’t know how it feels for a spouse to give you the monster… that shyt sounds sooooooo crazy to me… might make me mutilate somebody, go on a killing spree etc…

                      i love when ppl bust out avi’s (im the resident advocate for face shots -NOT TWSS) i want to see who is saying what to me… that being said.. Roger is that you?!?!?!?! ;)

    • http://www.testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

      Do you really want Uncle PJ the DJ? I mean just a-shoutin “IMMA THREEEEEE” over and over? o.O

      • http://TalentedGeneration.blogspot.com LegallySouthern1

        Its what most southerners enjoy. Our DJ’s yell. It makes me feel warm and tingly inside when I hear DJ Khaled shout WE DA BESS because…well we is da bess.

        • WayUPThere

          Yes, DJ Drama, among others, has made that painfully clear that this DJ overriding the song thing is really what’s good in the souff

          • http://thejahfiles.blogspot.com/ B. Brown

            Yeah, DJ self-promotion is a staple in the south – almost to the level of dirt roads and football worship.

            That said, I heard Drama at a club last fall and he didn’t talk that much. I was pleasantly surprised.

            • http://twitter.com/TheHumanSp1d3r The Human Spider

              DJ Clue started all that. And if he didn’t start it, he brought it up to the North. It’s the reason why I don’t pay DJ-laced mixtapes any mind; to me, it’s the equivalent of someone (unnecessarily) talking through a movie.

              • coldsweat3

                The worst is when DJs do Mixtapes with R&B tracks and in the middle of a song they are doing that dang obnoxious name call. Nobody is trying to hear a loud angry man over a love jam. Messes up the mood.

                • miss t-lee

                  You ain’t never lied…lol

        • thelonius

          Dj Clue voice + the echo effects is the greatest dj drop of all time

          • Corey

            I’m partial to the “THE CANNON!!!” and “GANGSTA!!” from the gangsta grills and don cannon joints myself.

            • miss t-lee

              My new fave? “HOLIDAY SEASON!!!!!”

              • Corey

                I’m at work bumpin the DJ Holiday and Young Dolph now!

                • miss t-lee

                  Niiice!

        • http://uphereoncloud9.wordpress.com/ Wu Young, Agent of M.E.

          I used to think Jam Pony’s ad libs made their sh*t hotter.

      • Boo Radley

        “Do you really want Uncle PJ the DJ? I mean just a-shoutin “IMMA THREEEEEE” over and over?”

        This right here made me have to fetch mah salts. Giles!

      • keisha brown

        Do you really want Uncle PJ the DJ? I mean just a-shoutin “IMMA THREEEEEE” over and over?

        BWAHAHAHAHA….

    • miss t-lee

      That Riskay song was comedy gold…lol Totally forget about that! :-) If you’re asking to smell his jank when he comes through the door, it’s time to exit stage left.

      • http://TalentedGeneration.blogspot.com LegallySouthern1

        *THAT* and when you start leaving crazy voicemails like the one Riskay left at the beginning of the song (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lgWgEoaAYDY). If you call or text him15 times and he still doesn’t respond, its time to walk away. Leaving a nasty voicemail or sending text messages in all CAPS is not going to change that.

        • miss t-lee

          Yeah…not even the move…lol

    • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

      “I digs it but I kinda wish there was some obnoxious DJ, like Khaled, hosting it. Don’t judge me, I’m southern.”

      LOL, ya know, I could totally see PJ doing this on another project. He has le southern flava.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      regarding the “mixtape”…where exactly would a DJ even go. lol. it aint even a mixtape. it’s an instrumental album. there’s no place for a DJ to scream…he’d effectively be the artist. that aint scream over the beat music.

  • http://thejahfiles.blogspot.com/ B. Brown

    Haven’t done anything like this in a while, so in honor of tonight’s ESPYs I’ll turn the clock back a bit and offer a special remix of the classic Jamie Foxx performance for Serena Williams back at the ’03…for the e-boo.

    *If anyone is clueless at this point, this clip (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aIK15lvZdW8) will help a whole lot.

    “Can I be your hockey puck, hockey puck, hockey puck –
    Girl, you got them dumps just like a truck, babe…
    We can skate real slow or skate real fast,
    Can my slide my stick against your…glass…
    Some men wanna be Liz’s thong,
    Mrs. Mariah Cannon – ain’t that wrong…

    (Just don’t look right, that don’t make no sense)

    I’m tired of that Kelly Rowland song…
    Baby can you put me on – let me be your hockey puck…
    We can go first period (horn) second, third period (horn),
    Overtime with you, we’ll play one or twooooooo…..
    You can wear your favorite shoes…baby,
    You can start off in a suit….I just wanna, I just, I…..

    Cut, cut it, cut it: can I be your hockey puck….

    I can’t give you everything, I can’t give you everything tonight.”

    *Yes, I know there was a second part. I also know it was done at the followig year’s ESPYs. Start the countdown.

    Alright, on to the post…

    For me, it’s over when I plain don’t want to be around her anymore. If I’d rather go home and sleep in my own bed (alone, obviously) than sleep with her, then it’s pretty much a wrap. If I tried, I could probably think of the shark-jumping moments in all of my past relationships. Without thinking about them, I know that sometimes I took heed of those moments and ran for the hills…and sometimes I didn’t. Of course, times regarding the latter were more painful.

    If I think that good times can be better without her and that bad times are no better with her, then it’s time to be out. And if it gets to the point where she actually offers and I turn it down? Done. For. Then again, I get to the “I can do without you” point faster than most guys (at least the ones I know) do – so my sentiment may not be that of the majority.

  • http://www.testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

    I think that makes a lot of sense, seeing as we’re first physically drawn to a person.

    I’m not sure what awkward women are for women inside of relationships. Outside there are many.

    1) That awkward moment when your blind date drops something down your shirt and attempts to go after it.
    2) That awkward moment when you are the single friend at a table full of couples.
    3) That awkward moment when your family keeps asking if you’re dating/married/pregnant.
    4) That awkward moment when your friend starts sleeping with an ex*
    5) That awkward moment where you get “Cockroached” by your friend a la “No you gon’ head and holler at him,” no girl you go, “No you, I insist,” aiight then!
    6) That awkward moment where you start to approach a guy only to be usurped by some ugmo dude who blocks you the whole night
    7) That awkward moment where you find your mom’s bootycall bag.

    *Yes, not all women care to the utmost but we’d all be lying if we said it didn’t irk us a little bit in a “respect- thug life loyalty” sort of way.

    • http://twitter.com/TheHumanSp1d3r The Human Spider

      1) Can’t speak on that.
      2) Co-sign. It’s the worst feeling im the world.
      3) Don’t forget about friends of family, who may have known you growing up.
      4) Can’t speak on that, either, considering the number of exes I had…
      5) OR it becomes a running joke amongst y’all.
      6) I apologize to my boy. I wanted to talk, but he ain’t got no home training.
      7) *smacks forehead*

      • http://www.testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

        Ahh so you’re usually a #6? Interesting… ;)
        As for number seven, yes, thats what that bag is. If you found it and it has bloomers, good smells, and anything with the words “warming/tingling/stimulating” on it…that’s mom’s BCBag. Sorry homie lol

        • http://twitter.com/TheHumanSp1d3r The Human Spider

          Don’t mind me; I just be shy. Once dude starts talking, I usually act as though I don’t associate myself with such individuals. Plus, I naturally assume he’s got you…

          • http://www.testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

            Well I’m shy too and it took al my nerve to even start walking over there to then be snatched up by old boy and his “say guhl, lemme holla atchu.” Besides, you saw that “save me” look on my face, you know you did :P

            • http://twitter.com/TheHumanSp1d3r The Human Spider

              LOL I thought that was a look of interest on his part. And he looked like he was having a good time…

              Now I know. Gotchu next time. ;p

              • http://www.testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

                Supposed to be a superhero and whatnot, can’t even rescue a girl from an obnoxious man with oily hands. Tsk tsk on you sir lol

                • http://twitter.com/TheHumanSp1d3r The Human Spider

                  I’m more on “Kick-@$$” level than on “Spider-Man” level, but I’m gradually moving to “Robin” level.

                  Youth and inexperience will do that to you.

                  • http://www.testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

                    I loved Kick-@ss though. Admittedly he’s no Black Panther or Remy LeBeau, but he’d do nicely :) …in any case. More rescuing, less kicking @ss.

      • Sasi Quaia

        #3….#3….is the loneliest number that I’ve ever seent!! Family, family friends, classmates, church family….I’m catching it at age 30…..”Girl you aint married yet?” AWKWARD!!!

        #2…..try being the single one all the time at mandatory family functions, weddings are the worst needless to say.

    • http://www.wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

      The awkward moment in the relationship for me is when I realize he’s a bad imitation of the man he claimed to be. And not in a small insignificant way. He’s just a big lump of worthless.

      • nubiankween784

        yea that’s pretty bad…

    • mandela

      @ Tes
      “That awkward moment where you find your mom’s bootycall bag”

      Sorry you have to find out this way, dear. Did you see my leopard print boxers in the bag? can’t find it. Your mum also told me you got some friends with daddy issues – I would need their phone #s and liquor of choice.

      Your step dad,
      mandela

  • http://www.twitter.com/MOTRenaissance Adonis

    That pic looked like something you would see on Family Guy

    Except it wasn’t…

    I hope they caught the guy :-)

    • DQ

      That dude doing the telecasting is a news personality in the Long Beach / Los Angeles area. I saw him on t.v. not too long ago and laughed when I thought about the picture comparison above.

    • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

      “That pic looked like something you would see on Family Guy”

      LOL, right, except it’s real life. Funny you should say that though, because that dude could be the real life Ollie Williams.

  • http://panamaenrique.wordpress.com Malik

    When you expect to fight over every single insignificant thing and you do preemptive attacks regardless of if she was going to start arguing.

    • Yoles

      or when nothing is worth fighting for… everything is just “yea ok” no sarcasm, no snark, no attitude or eye roll, no emotion

      • Simba.Africanna

        Guilty as charged.
        When the arguing gets so regular & so intense, my reaction is to let her win (just to get some peace). Eventually she caught on. And I think that killed the fire even faster.

        • DQ

          Hmmmm… somebody else mentioned “peace”… starting to see a theme here.

          • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

            I think we’ve mentioned before how valuable peace is. When the other person begins detracting from your peace, and you feel like life you be better without them around, it’s a wrap.

            • DQ

              And I’ve been that dude. I used to laugh at the idea of a dude staying late at work just to avoid being around his woman… and then I became him (and $h!t wasn’t funny then). Deep down, I knew it was over, but I just kept lying to myself and saying we just had to work at it harder.

              But if I’m staying late at a job I don’t even like, because that’s preferrable to coming home to you – what am I really working at? You live and you learn.

      • http://twitter.com/MzNinaSoul NinaFontaine

        THIS @Yoles is the ultimate!

      • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

        “or when nothing is worth fighting for… everything is just “yea ok” no sarcasm, no snark, no attitude or eye roll, no emotion”

        MAN LISTEN. This is so much truth. A snappy/moody comeback (in my book) doesn’t mean it’s over for me, it’s when I just shrug if off that you should start worrying. It means I don’t care anymore…

      • Sula

        That for me is a surefire way that I am exiting stage left… If I am just blah, indifferent…yup *nods head* that means I’m about a month into the detaching process. lol… Watch out for a breakup.

      • ScorpionTee

        This is me. All day. Everyday. By myself. One pillow. No pillow case (S/O to Kevin Hart). When i get to the point where im saying “yea whatever” to everything you say or to every argument that you try to start, that means out of the bag of f**ks that i have, i couldnt give you one.

  • http://www.hotbiscuitsandgravy.com Bengemin Grehe

    Funny that I’ve never materialized this myself. But I must say, this is very truthful.